1
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,926
Hey, Dave. What's going on?

2
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,016
Oh, hey, Calvin. Just picking upmy new lawn signs

3
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,582
for the campaign.

4
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,932
What do you think?

5
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,153
I think you're gonna look greatwith a blacked out tooth

6
00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:24,981
and the word "dork"
across your forehead.

7
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,681
Yeah, I didn't think about
the kids vandalizing my signs.

8
00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,857
Who said anything about kids?

9
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,035
So you're really gonna
go through with this?

10
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:38,081
Hell, yeah. Look, we need
stronger schools, safer parks,

11
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,735
and when it comes
to our city government,

12
00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:42,433
we need to have
an open dialogue.Well, great.

13
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,566
You open that one,and I'll close this one.

14
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,698
I'm serious, Calvin.

15
00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:48,352
We need strong representation,

16
00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,615
and we haven't been getting
it from Isaiah Evans.

17
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:54,271
Look, Isaiah has beenour councilman for a long time.

18
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,533
People love him.

19
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,187
He led the march on Washington.

20
00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:59,189
You mean with
Martin Luther King?

21
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:02,584
No. The marchon Washington Boulevard.

22
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:07,197
We wanted that Chipotle,and he got it for us.

23
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:09,504
Okay, but that was
a long time ago,

24
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,245
and he hasn't done
anything since.

25
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,769
Calvin, don't you want someone
who's gonna roll up his sleeves

26
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,466
and make an impact
on this community?

27
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,426
Nope. I don't like governmenttelling me what to do.

28
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,254
I got Tina for that.

29
00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:23,866
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

30
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,085
♪ Welcome to the hood.

31
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,007
Hi, this is Dave Johnson.

32
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,270
I'm running for city council,

33
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:38,054
and I'm calling
to ask for your support.

34
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,710
Yeah, I'm the white guy.

35
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,800
Well, yes, Dave is the one

36
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:47,019
who got the speed bumpput in on Evergreen.

37
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,023
Oh, you hit it too hardand messed up your alignment?

38
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,723
Well, take it on down
to Calvin's Pit Stop

39
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:55,898
and vote for Dave Johnson.

40
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,996
Grover, you are
licking too slow.

41
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,781
You are dabbing when
you should be sliding.

42
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,305
Here, let me show you.

43
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,482
Ah... Aah! Paper cut!

44
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:19,487
Now you're bleedingwhen you should be dabbing.

45
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,970
So, I was thinking of invitingthe women from the neighborhood

46
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,408
for an elegant
ladies' afternoon.

47
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:29,410
You know,
put out the good china,

48
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,934
serve some tea and scones.

49
00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,589
Tea and scones?Is Dave going to be a councilman

50
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,851
or a Disney princess?

51
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,334
I'm just trying to help him.

52
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,987
Most of the neighborhood
just knows him

53
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,860
as the jogger in short shorts
who's terrified of squirrels.

54
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:48,777
Hey, hey.

55
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,300
Ooh, well, well, well.

56
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,476
Look who showed up to volunteer.

57
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,524
So, Calvin, you finally ready
to ride the Dave wave?

58
00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,266
No.

59
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,181
Tina told me
there was a deli tray.

60
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,486
Forget the Dave wave.

61
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,401
I'm ready
to jump on the ham tram.

62
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,232
You know, I don't get it.Why won't you support me?

63
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:10,886
I supported youwhen Old Miss Kim accused you

64
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,192
of stealingher garden gnome.

65
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,019
That's because I didn't do it.

66
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,456
I was just the lookout.

67
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,068
I'm serious, Calvin.

68
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,897
You know, people around herereally look up to you,

69
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,769
and your endorsementcould help my campaign.

70
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,990
And I'd give it to you, Dave,
except for one small problem.

71
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,818
This deli tray has

72
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,515
a better chance of winning
than you do.

73
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:35,476
Ooh, spicy mustard.

74
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,131
I wouldn't underestimatemy husband.

75
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,351
Back in Kalamazoo,he got them to shut down

76
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,874
the strip clubnext to the school.

77
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,267
Oh, good for him.

78
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,834
Yeah, I was so proud.

79
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,445
Even though it put
half my cousins out of work.

80
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,580
This isn't Kalamazoo.

81
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,364
This neighborhood is 80% black,

82
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,801
and Dave is 100% white.

83
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,196
110% when he wears his Crocs.

84
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,721
You know, so what if I'm white?

85
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,593
This community will vote
for the best person

86
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,116
for the job.That's what I believe.

87
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,988
And I believe I'm gonna
take my sandwich to go.

88
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,295
All aboard
the ham tram!

89
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,558
Toot, toot!

90
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,262
Well, I hope
you're happy.

91
00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:25,003
Oh, I am. You know,
I had my doubts at first,

92
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:27,615
but spicy mustard
was the way to go.

93
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,358
I'm talking about Dave.

94
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,273
We're all over there
supporting him.

95
00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:35,927
Why won't you?Because

96
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:37,407
I don't want him to look like

97
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,496
the white guy
who thinks he knows better,

98
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,760
swooping in to fix
all the black folks' problems.

99
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,371
If I wanted a white savior,

100
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,982
I'd watch Sandra Bullock
in The Blind Side.

101
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,422
Calvin, you love that movie.

102
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,902
I don't love that movie.

103
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,730
I just said,
"Don't change the channel."

104
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:59,299
Okay, you're right.

105
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,605
Some people may think
Dave is that way.

106
00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,868
But that's not who he is,
and you know that.

107
00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:06,915
That's because
I'm an evolved man, Tina.

108
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,222
You can't expect
the rest of the neighborhood

109
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,312
to be as open-minded as me.

110
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,316
Open-minded?
Seriously?

111
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:17,839
You refuse to
watch a movie

112
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,493
if it has subtitles.

113
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:23,018
If I wanted to read,
I'd get an audiobook.

114
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:28,632
All I know is Dave cares
about this community.

115
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,155
Councilman Evans

116
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:31,809
has been coasting for years.

117
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,202
All he ever does is brag

118
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,986
about the time
he met Eddie Murphy.

119
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,988
Tina, but you got to admit,

120
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,034
that's a great storyright there.

121
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,340
I mean,

122
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,646
the same car washon the same day?

123
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,692
That's destiny.

124
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:49,044
Okay, fine. Do what you want,
but I'm supporting our friend.

125
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:51,742
So am I. I'm protecting him.

126
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,832
I don't want to see anybody
attack or ridicule him.

127
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,357
You ridicule himall the time.

128
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,533
But I do it
from a place of love.

129
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,273
What?

130
00:06:01,317 --> 00:06:02,492
I love doing it.

131
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,237
Calvin, I can't tell you

132
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,065
how much it means to
have your endorsement.

133
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,936
Oh, I'm notendorsing you.

134
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,156
I just brought youto the barbershop to show you

135
00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,288
what the people around herethink about you running.

136
00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,203
:Plus, I can't wait

137
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:21,642
till the fellas hear howyou shut down the strip club.

138
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:26,168
Well, you'll see. I'm gonna
get plenty of support.

139
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:29,084
After all, you know, I'm
down with Que and the guys.

140
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,477
I just brought a
squash casserole

141
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,913
over to the shop last week.

142
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,697
Dave,

143
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:37,440
there's nothing downabout a squash casserole.

144
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:41,139
There will be once they get
their cholesterol checked.

145
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,449
Hey, shop.

146
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:47,842
What's up, man?Hey, Calvin.

147
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,234
Hey, Calvin.Hey, Dave.

148
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,236
What's up, Dave?Yo, Dave.

149
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,805
Did you get that thank you noteI sent you for the casserole?

150
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,373
You hear that, Calvin?

151
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,854
He loved it.

152
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:02,160
And the serving dish it
came in was great, too.

153
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:04,075
I sold it for ten bucks.

154
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,948
Cool. Cool.

155
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,384
Got that in Peru.

156
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,213
Uh, so, you guys might've heard

157
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,736
that I'm running
for city council.

158
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,782
Yeah, we heard.

159
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,134
I saw one of your signs.I thought it was hilarious.

160
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,918
They drew eye patch, horns,

161
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,746
and I don't want to saywhat you had in your mouth.

162
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,491
Why are youlooking at me?

163
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,320
I just did the eye patchand the horns.

164
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,757
O-Okay.

165
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,280
I-I'm starting to get the vibe

166
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,631
that, uh, some of you
might be skeptical.

167
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,284
But, you know, I've got
some really great ideas

168
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,156
about the neighborhood that I
think might change your minds.

169
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,287
Uh, I got a question.

170
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:44,899
Great. Fire away.

171
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,944
Was that an Old Bay seasoning
you used in that casserole,

172
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,206
or was it Lawry's?

173
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:51,906
Any other questions?

174
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,255
Oh, yeah.

175
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:54,778
That are notabout the casserole.

176
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,085
Oh.

177
00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:58,956
Hey, good afternoon, gentlemen.

178
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,958
Oh, oh, oh!ALL:
Hey.

179
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,004
Councilman.Hey.

180
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,006
I just wanted to drop in
and say hi

181
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:07,356
to some
of my finest constituents.

182
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:08,531
And Trey.

183
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,708
You always got jokes,Councilman.

184
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,710
Yeah, and you always got
a court date.

185
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,538
You got him.

186
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:17,584
Come on.

187
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,673
Wow, so that's
Councilman Evans, huh?

188
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,239
He's really charming.

189
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,067
Yeah, and waittill you feel his handshake.

190
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:26,506
It's smoother than margarinemelting on a hot roll.

191
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,682
Calvin Butler.

192
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,206
Yeah.Hey. How'sthat beautiful Tina?

193
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,642
Well, she's married to me,

194
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,209
so she's blessed.

195
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,558
Yeah.

196
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,082
Uh, Councilman.
I'm Dave Johnson.

197
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:40,563
Dave Johnson.The competition.

198
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:44,741
It is greatto finally meet you.

199
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,222
It is good to meet you, too.

200
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,180
Oh, my God,it's like a buttery hug.

201
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,923
I've been doingmy homework on you,

202
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:56,100
and it looks like youare ready to run a good race.

203
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,538
Probably in short shorts.

204
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,934
Well, you know, Councilman,
now that you're here, uh,

205
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,371
I have a question
for you.Go right ahead.

206
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,417
Well, I'm just curious on how

207
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,375
you plan on approaching the
shortage of schoolteachers

208
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:13,335
that our district
is currently facing.

209
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,641
Hmm.

210
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,468
Mmm.

211
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:19,036
Mm-hmm.

212
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,647
Dave, that is

213
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:23,040
a very important issue,and I'm glad

214
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,042
you brought that up.

215
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,957
Our teacher shortage

216
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,394
is a real challenge.Yeah. Right on.Yes, sir.

217
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:32,876
It is a challenge
that we shall meet together

218
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,009
as a community.All right. All right.

219
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,576
And speaking of meeting,

220
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,361
did y'all hear my storyabout how I met Eddie Murphy?

221
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:43,670
Let Dave in here.

222
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,628
He ain't heard
it yet. Come on.

223
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,499
I was getting my car washed.Okay.

224
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,327
He was getting his car washed.No!

225
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:52,374
I look over at him.
He looks back at me.What?

226
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:53,897
He said...

227
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,595
For real!

228
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,597
He... Just like in the movies!

229
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,077
He laughs like in the movies!

230
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,731
I can't believe it.

231
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,604
Councilman Evanstotally dodged my question.

232
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,823
But can you believe

233
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:10,087
that him and Eddie Murphyboth use cinnamon air freshener?

234
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:13,003
Wow.

235
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,092
No. Not wow.

236
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,269
If anything deserves a "wow,"
it's my five-point plan.

237
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,097
Each point has five
points of its own.

238
00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,446
It's a 25-point plan.

239
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:24,667
That's 25 wows.

240
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,930
Look, Dave, the bottom line is

241
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,410
to half of the people,

242
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,107
you're the white guywho's new in town.

243
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,501
To the other half,you're the new guy who's white.

244
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:35,939
Hey. Yo, Dave,

245
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,115
you got some explaining
to do, man.

246
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:39,203
What are you
talking about?

247
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:40,814
Isaiah posteda picture of you online,

248
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,685
standing nextto a Confederate flag.

249
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,339
What?Well, that's crazy.

250
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,340
I would never--

251
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:46,776
Oh. Yeah, that's me.

252
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,045
You better start explaining
why you're in a picture

253
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:58,266
posing next to a cake
with a Confederate flag on it.

254
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,094
Calvin, you don't understand.

255
00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:03,445
Look, that picture was
from my tenth birthday party.

256
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,055
Well, what'd you do
when you turned 11,

257
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:06,274
go to a Klan rally?

258
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,713
Isaiah cropped the picture.

259
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,020
Look, the theme of the party
was The Dukes of Hazzard.

260
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,152
That flag is on their car.

261
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,067
I had no idea what it meant.

262
00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:18,721
I'll tell you what it means now.

263
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,984
You can forgetabout being on the city council.

264
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,857
In fact, I wouldn't even get
on a city bus.

265
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,598
This is a disaster.

266
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:27,861
I'm gonna go talk to Gemma.

267
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:30,341
Why didn't I havean A-Teamparty?

268
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,735
Everybody loves Mr. T.

269
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,347
Aw, man, I can't
believe this.

270
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,348
I called it.

271
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:38,741
I knew this would happen.

272
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,004
What? You knew

273
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,615
Isaiah would finda 25-year-old picture

274
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,880
of Dave blowing out the candleson a Confederate flag cake?

275
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:49,317
Yeah. I just didn't say it
out loud.

276
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,886
Well, we got to help
him clear his name.

277
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,584
How? His name is on the cake.

278
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:58,892
Dad, Dave is your friend.

279
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,241
You know he's not racist.

280
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,372
I know that.

281
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:03,070
But what am I supposed to do?

282
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,856
Everyone who's seen that picturealready thinks he is.

283
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:09,250
Which is exactly why we need
to help him.

284
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,513
Because nobody knows better
than black people

285
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:14,081
how painful it is to be labeledas something that you're not.

286
00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:16,823
Right, Pop?

287
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,520
Damn it, Malcolm.

288
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:22,306
Now I got to do the right thing.

289
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,786
And that's on you.

290
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,749
I can't believeIsaiah would do this.

291
00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,794
His handshakeisn't like a buttery hug.

292
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,230
It's like a...

293
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,667
Damn it! It islike a buttery hug!

294
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:39,889
Well, two can play
at this game.

295
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,413
I'm gonna dig up
some dirt on Isaiah

296
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,546
and see how helikes it.What dirt?

297
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,461
Like how he never does anything

298
00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,376
or is cheating on his wife

299
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,944
or how he embezzled millions
of dollars from the city.

300
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,728
You found that online?

301
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,903
No, I'm putting it there.

302
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,079
Gemma,

303
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:58,255
we are not gonna stoop
to his level.

304
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,344
Look, we just have
to face facts.

305
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,259
I'm done.

306
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,913
Don't talk like that.

307
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:07,351
You have never backed down
from a fight in your life.

308
00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,310
Not even when my stripper
cousins jumped you

309
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,615
at Nana's birthday.

310
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:13,401
Yeah, that was no joke.

311
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,317
Bambi threw glitter
right in my eyes.

312
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:18,580
Hey, Gemma.

313
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:19,755
Hey, Dave.

314
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,975
Are you here to say"I told you so"?

315
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,106
I wasn't.

316
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,455
But now that you mention it,

317
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:25,674
it does feel right, doesn't it?

318
00:13:25,717 --> 00:13:28,503
Well,don't bother.

319
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,505
I think it's pretty obvious thatI have to drop out of the race.

320
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,507
Oh, Calvin,please talk some sense into him.

321
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:33,943
I'll be upstairs.

322
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,424
You're not gonna go post lies
about Isaiah, are you?

323
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,730
Well, not anymore.

324
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,429
So whatdo you want?

325
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,648
Look,

326
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,955
I know I told you
that you shouldn't run,

327
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:48,958
but I don't want to see
you go down like this.

328
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,918
If Isaiah's willing to
stoop this low, then,

329
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,833
clearly, we need some
change around here.

330
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,835
Which is why you have my vote.

331
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,924
Unless that line
is too long.

332
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,969
Yeah.

333
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,101
So you're gonna help me?

334
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:02,319
Yes.

335
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:03,973
But, first, we
need to find out

336
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:06,106
if Isaiah has any
more dirt on you.

337
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,498
Like, for Halloween,

338
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:10,110
did you ever go as a
pointy-headed ghost?

339
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:16,986
Hi, I'm calling
on behalf

340
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:20,207
of the Dave Johnson for
City Council campaign--

341
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:24,385
Oh, well, let me tell you
something about yomama...

342
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,213
Hello?

343
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,475
Okay.

344
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,694
So far, that'sthree "yo mamas..."

345
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,567
...five "go to hells,"

346
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,874
and one "I better not seeyour ass at Chipotle."

347
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,748
Everyone is
so mad at us.

348
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,750
I don't know how much more
of this I can take.

349
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:44,535
And I'm really gonna miss
Chipotle.

350
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,712
Look, I knowthis is bad right now,

351
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,192
but you can get through this.

352
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:50,280
You're tough.

353
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,195
I'm not so sure.

354
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,719
Well, I am, okay?

355
00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,373
You moved your family
into this neighborhood,

356
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,419
and you didn't take mess
from anybody.

357
00:14:58,462 --> 00:14:59,811
I guess.

358
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:02,031
And you're a principal
at a private school.

359
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:05,469
You have to deal with snotty,
spoiled brats all day.

360
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,819
And their kids, too.

361
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,649
Half the time, I can't even tellif the moms are mad at me

362
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,173
'cause of all the Botox.

363
00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:16,219
Trust me, girl.

364
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,829
You got this.

365
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,657
Maybe you're right.Mm.

366
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,138
I am kind of a badass B-word.

367
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,010
Mm. Damn straight!

368
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:27,709
Mm! You are the secondstrongest woman I know.

369
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:28,928
Who's the first?

370
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,103
Me, B-word!

371
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:34,890
Okay, Dave,

372
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,500
you sure you're ready for this?

373
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,067
It's gonna getkind of rough in there.

374
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,243
No problem.
I'm just gonna start

375
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:42,593
by telling them that
there's no way that I'm racist

376
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:45,901
because my best
friend is black.

377
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,950
As your black best friend,

378
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:54,779
never say you havea black best friend.

379
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:57,434
Okay. All right. Well, then
I'm just gonna go in there

380
00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,046
and tell them that these
false accusations have got--

381
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:02,048
have got me
straight trippin'.

382
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,448
I take it back.

383
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,320
I'm not your black best friend.

384
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,279
Okay, so...

385
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,889
Well, what am I
supposed to do?

386
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,980
Look, just go in there andshow them who you really are.

387
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,285
I'll have your back.

388
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:24,461
Okay. I'm just
gonna go in there

389
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:25,985
and I'm gonna...

390
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,683
and I'm gonna clap...
back... at my haters.

391
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:33,949
I never should've shown him
Black Twitter.

392
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,475
Hey, guys! Hey, guys.

393
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:42,479
What are you doing here?

394
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,829
Yeah. And if you gota casserole,

395
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,919
you drop it offand you leave.

396
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:53,838
Okay, obviously, everyone
here has seen the picture.

397
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:57,146
But I swear, you guys, it
is not what it looks like.

398
00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:58,669
Please.

399
00:16:58,713 --> 00:16:59,888
I've used that line before,

400
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,324
and it was
always what it looked like.

401
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,893
All right. Okay,
hold on, everybody.

402
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,677
Come on.Give the man a chance.

403
00:17:06,721 --> 00:17:07,896
A chance to what,

404
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:09,854
say he's got
a black best friend?

405
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:15,034
Thank God you talked
to me outside.

406
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,905
Okay, listen up.

407
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:20,126
Now, I know what everybodyin here is thinking about Dave.

408
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:22,302
But I've known this manfor two years,

409
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,304
and I can tell you thisfor sure--

410
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,132
there is nota racist bone

411
00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:29,526
in his pasty littlewhite body.

412
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,529
But whatabout the picture?

413
00:17:32,573 --> 00:17:35,532
Look, he was a dumb kidwho watched a dumb TV show.

414
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,664
That doesn't mean

415
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,013
that he was...Wait, wait.

416
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,754
Is that
from The Dukes of Hazzard?

417
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,451
I used to love
that show!

418
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,325
Yeah. It had
that cool theme song.

419
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:48,023
♪ Just the good ol' boys...

420
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,547
Oh, wait.

421
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,767
See?

422
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,160
You all watched that show.

423
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:57,119
Which means that Davedidn't do anything wrong.

424
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,121
That's right.
This was just Isaiah trying

425
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,036
to smear my name
so that he could

426
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,821
win... the... election.

427
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,129
I can't believe
Isaiah would stoop that low.

428
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,261
Exactly.

429
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,611
And you all saw him dodgeDave's question.

430
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,179
That's becausehe doesn't have answers.

431
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,310
But Dave does.

432
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,183
He has a 25-point plan that,
trust me,

433
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,793
you do not want to hear.

434
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,970
But i-if you
want to read it,

435
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,363
I have a pamphlet
right here

436
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,799
that has all...

437
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,629
Look, my point is

438
00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:32,546
is that Dave Johnsonis gonna fight for us.

439
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,548
He's gonna makeour schools stronger

440
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:35,984
and our parks safer,

441
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,552
and he's gonna listento the needs of this community.

442
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,945
And that's why he hasCalvin Butler's support.

443
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,731
Now, come on.Can he count on yours?

444
00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:50,129
Hey, tha-thank you, guys.

445
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,608
And thanks, Calvin.

446
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:53,610
I don't know how I
can ever repay you.

447
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,829
Well, when you're elected,

448
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,613
you can fix my parking tickets.

449
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,226
I'm gonna pretend that
I didn't hear that.

450
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:03,011
Should I pretendto say it again?

451
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,102
And, you know,
guys, uh,

452
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,540
just so you know,Isaiah Evans isn't the only one

453
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,761
who has rubbed elbows
with a famous person.

454
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,719
Oh, yeah?Who'd you meet?

455
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,069
Well, a little celebrity chef
named

456
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,723
Paula Deen.Uh-oh.

457
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,856
Come on. We got to go.
We got to go.

458
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:25,294
Well, where do you think I gotthe recipe for the casserole?

459
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,563
So, you ready
for your lesson?

460
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:36,218
Yep. Timeto make my handshake

461
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:39,961
smoother...than... Isaiah's.

462
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:44,313
You know you don't
actually clap in a clapback?

463
00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,923
Well, then, whathave I been doing?

464
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,490
I have no idea.

465
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,058
Look,

466
00:19:50,101 --> 00:19:53,366
now, remember, when it comes
to shaking a man's hand,

467
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:56,151
you want to be confident
and comforting,

468
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,153
like a warm sock,

469
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,633
fresh from the dryer,

470
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,765
slipping onto his foot.

471
00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,854
Check this out.

472
00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,682
Hi.

473
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,554
Calvin Butler.
Nice to meet you.

474
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:08,990
Wow.

475
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,426
I actually believeyou meant that.

476
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,341
Yeah.

477
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,174
Councilman Evans.

478
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,219
What areyou doing here?

479
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:21,350
I just came by to say

480
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,787
good luck on the campaign.

481
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,398
Oh, after that photo,

482
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:27,313
I could've sworn
you were gonna drop out.

483
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,315
Well, not a chance.

484
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:32,056
It's gonna take a lot morethan that to scare me away.

485
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,841
Okay.

486
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:37,584
May the best man win.

487
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,812
Damn.

488
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,945
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

489
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,990
Captioned by
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