1
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,757
Is it my turn?

2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,426
No, we're still waiting
for Calvin to play.

3
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:11,428
Okay, uh, stop rushing me.

4
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,597
Dave took like ten minutes
to put down the word "cat."

5
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,267
Well, I was one letter away
from "catnip,"

6
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,436
but all I had
was this blank tile.

7
00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:23,440
Damn it!

8
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,109
Okay, all right, here we go.

9
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,737
Here we go right here. F-I...

10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:32,115
N-N-A.

11
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:35,118
Boom. Triple word score.

12
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,829
(laughs)

13
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,829
"Finna"?

14
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,330
What's "finna"?

15
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:40,790
You know, as in,

16
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,668
"I'm finna get
38 points for that word."

17
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,962
(mutters softly)

18
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:49,257
I'm pretty sure "finna"
isn't in the dictionary.

19
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:52,969
Well, Black people
say it all the time,

20
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:55,388
so if it's not,
your dictionary's racist.

21
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,390
Boom, triple word score.

22
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,644
Ah...

23
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,146
What's wrong?

24
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,814
I'm having some problems
with my wrist lately.

25
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,399
I think I might
have carpal tunnel.

26
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,068
Damn it. I could've
played "carpal," too.

27
00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,698
Dave, if your wrist hurts,
you should see my doctor.

28
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,366
Dr. Richards is like family.

29
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:18,244
Calvin, Dr. Richards
died nine years ago.

30
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,538
He did?

31
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:23,750
Well, let that be a lesson.
Don't let family drift apart.

32
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,002
Seriously, Calvin?

33
00:01:26,085 --> 00:01:27,921
You haven't seen a
doctor in nine years?

34
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,339
TINA:
No. I've been
begging him

35
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,049
to get a physical
for the longest time,

36
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:32,258
but he just won't go.

37
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,676
That's because I don't need to.

38
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,261
Look, I'm so healthy,

39
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,389
I already outlived my doctor
by nine years.

40
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,851
Calvin, you should
really listen to Tina.

41
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,436
You know,
your health is important.

42
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,231
If I were you, I would
definitely be finna to go.

43
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,820
Gemma, you're right.
It's not a word.

44
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,532
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

45
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,950
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

46
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,373
Oh, hey, Calvin.

47
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:03,373
Hey, Dave.

48
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:04,833
What do you got there?

49
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,626
Oh, just some of my old
juggling clubs.

50
00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,712
You know, I would say I didn't
know you juggled, but deep down,

51
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:12,423
I think I did.

52
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,716
Well, I haven't done it
in years,

53
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,426
so I might be a little rusty.

54
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,137
But I figured, hey, what's
the worst that could happen?

55
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,806
I don't know,
but whatever it is,

56
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:22,308
I am definitely
getting it on video.

57
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,394
Just got to do one last thing.

58
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,980
Whoa. Whoa,
you're setting them on fire?

59
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,898
I thought you said
you hadn't juggled in years.

60
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,775
That's crazy.

61
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,277
Well, maybe,
but not half as crazy

62
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,070
as skipping the doctor
for nine years.

63
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:37,407
So I guess you could say
we're both playing with fire.

64
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,035
Oh, okay.
So that's what this is about.

65
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,413
You know what? I take it back.

66
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:45,832
Go ahead.
Roast your marshmallows.

67
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,459
Okay.

68
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,169
Calvin, I'm serious.

69
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,088
You got to go
to the doctor every year.

70
00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,464
It's really important.

71
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,258
Dave, I'm fine.

72
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:56,759
I treat my body like a temple.

73
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,053
It's probably why
so many people worship me.

74
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:02,599
Okay, I guess Tina was right.
You won't listen to reason.

75
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,434
So it looks like
I'm gonna have to try

76
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,019
something else
to get you to do it.

77
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,146
What?

78
00:03:06,102 --> 00:03:08,146
Embarrass you.

79
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:09,939
If you don't go to the doctor,
I'm gonna make a T-shirt

80
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,774
that says
"Calvin is my best friend,"

81
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,776
and I'm gonna wear it
wherever we go.

82
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820
Eh, you wouldn't.

83
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,820
I already did.

84
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:20,450
How'd you get that made so fast?

85
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:22,452
You just found out
about this last night.

86
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,162
Actually, I've had it
for a while.

87
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:26,664
I had it made
for our upcoming friendiversary.

88
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,125
Just picture it, Calvin.

89
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,127
You're in the barber shop
holding court,

90
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:33,546
I stroll in wearing this.

91
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,383
So what? I've been the big dog
around here a long time.

92
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,136
It'll take more than
a T-shirt to bring me down.

93
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:43,056
I figured you'd say that, which
is why I made it a tank top.

94
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,975
Okay, you know what?
Fine.

95
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,478
I'll go.

96
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,021
But if Dr. Richards
wasn't already dead,

97
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,397
this would've killed him.

98
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,985
Hey, here you go, bro.

99
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,988
(laughs)

100
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,988
Oh, man, it doesn't get
any better than this.

101
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,324
Two grown men,
making it on our own,

102
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,701
living our independent lives.

103
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,496
Marty, we live 60 feet
from Mom and Pop's house.

104
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,331
Exactly.

105
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,249
It's far enough away
to be independent

106
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,210
but close enough
to steal their Wi-Fi.

107
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,419
(knocking on door)

108
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,712
See? Okay.

109
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,712
I see. Yeah.

110
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,339
Yo.

111
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,049
Hey, little man.

112
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,049
MARTY: Hey.

113
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,509
What's up? Come on in.

114
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,427
We're having career day
at my school.

115
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:25,390
Since my dad came last year
and my mom's the principal,

116
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:28,851
and you have such an awesome job
at JPL, I thought I'd ask you.

117
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,688
Well, your friendly
neighborhood rocket scientist

118
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,357
gladly accepts your invitation.

119
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,943
Oh, I was actually
talking to Malcolm.

120
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,529
(laughs)

121
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:39,529
What?

122
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,281
But Malcolm's
just a security guard.

123
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,033
Uh, yeah, a security guard
who just watched you

124
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,327
blow up on takeoff.

125
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,327
What...?

126
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,038
Yeah, but that,
that makes no sense.

127
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,456
Why would you want him
instead of me?

128
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,001
Because security guards
are cool.

129
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:55,920
They've got uniforms
and handcuffs,

130
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,381
and he takes down
bad guys, right?

131
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,383
Well, you know, uh,

132
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,885
I do what I got to do.

133
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,596
Yeah, and what you got to do
is check I.D.'s

134
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,140
and let the pizza guy
up the elevator.

135
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,600
(chuckles)
And just for that, from now on,

136
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,729
the only lunch
I'm letting up is salad.

137
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:12,729
(gasps)

138
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,440
Whoa, guys, I didn't mean
to start a fight.

139
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,608
Look, Marty, if you want to,
you can come, too.

140
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,901
Yes! (laughs)

141
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:20,653
I'm gonna get started right now.

142
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,656
You guys are gonna see just
how fun math and science can be!

143
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,825
Great.

144
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,872
If he gets too boring,
you do what you got to do.

145
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,337
Well, I hope he has better news
for me than he had for you.

146
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,758
Okay, Mr. Butler,

147
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:44,802
I have the results from
your physical, and...

148
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,262
You know what? I'm fine.

149
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,347
I don't care
what your stupid test says.

150
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,683
Actually, they say
you're in amazing health.

151
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,312
Oh, well, tests don't lie.

152
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:57,815
I told you he's a good doctor.
You should've listened to him.

153
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,777
Your cholesterol is good,
your blood pressure is low--

154
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,445
all your numbers look great.

155
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,155
Huh. Terrific.

156
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,282
Now all we've got to do is
schedule your colonoscopy.

157
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,618
Uh, say what, now?

158
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,162
Your colonoscopy?
When it comes to colon cancer,

159
00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,122
early detection
can save your life.

160
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,458
It's standard procedure
for anyone over 45.

161
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,502
Well, great, so there's no rush.

162
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,337
I plan on being over 45

163
00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,465
the rest of my life.

164
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,510
Look, I know the idea makes
a lot of men uncomfortable,

165
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,845
but trust me,
it's not a big deal.

166
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,056
First, you'll be put to sleep.

167
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:34,435
Then we insert a small camera
into the rectum.

168
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,896
From there, it travels

169
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,689
through your large intestine,

170
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,483
then it zigs and it zags

171
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,653
deeper and deeper
all the way

172
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,655
up here into your
small intestine,

173
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,240
taking pictures along the way.

174
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,201
Then we just
reel it back in, and...

175
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:52,703
(pops)
...out pops the camera.

176
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,832
Well, that all
sounds delightful,

177
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,084
but, um... (pops)

178
00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,669
that's a hard pass.

179
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,006
(sighs)
Hey, man.

180
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,716
Oh, hey, Malcolm.

181
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,718
Whoa, what is under there?

182
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,178
Uh, Marty?

183
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,847
If it's another Lego Death Star,

184
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,849
you don't need to hide it
from me, man.

185
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,976
I already know you're a dork.

186
00:07:15,059 --> 00:07:18,187
For your information, that
was not the Death Star.

187
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:19,772
That was the planet Tatooine.

188
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,607
Okay? So who's the dork now?

189
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,860
Right, okay, so, uh,

190
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,361
what is it?

191
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:27,029
Uh, just a little
something to ensure

192
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,531
that I win career day.

193
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,032
"Win career day"?

194
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,032
Mm-hmm.

195
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,868
I didn't realize
it was a competition.

196
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:34,245
Oh, it won't be,
because I have this.

197
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,541
Marty, I don't want to know

198
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,376
what you do
with that robot hand,

199
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,378
and I'm sure
the kids won't, either.

200
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:44,630
Malcolm, meet Elliot,

201
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,591
a fully articulated bionic
limb designed to make

202
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:49,218
exterior repairs to the
International Space Station.

203
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,095
He also gives
pretty sweet fist bumps.

204
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,056
(exhales sharply, laughs)

205
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,726
(laughs)
All right.

206
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,895
That is pretty impressive.

207
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,895
I know, right?

208
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,647
Yeah, but I'm not worried
about it, because I have this.

209
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,065
A stun gun?

210
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,276
Please. Elliot can crush steel

211
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,987
and survive temperatures
down to 500 degrees below zero.

212
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,822
How can a stun gun compete?

213
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,115
Maybe like this.

214
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:15,161
(shouts)
Malcolm, are you crazy?

215
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,205
Do you know how long
this is gonna take me to fix?

216
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,831
Hopefully not too long,
because I would love

217
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,917
to do that again
in front of the kids.

218
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,211
(laughs)

219
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,344
Oh, hey, babe.

220
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,305
So, what did the doctor say?

221
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,599
Exactly what I
told you he would.

222
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,768
I'm in perfect health.

223
00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,603
You know, I hate to say it,
but, uh,

224
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,272
I think I'm gonna
outlive this one, too.

225
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,191
Well, that is such a relief.

226
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,817
Did he say anything else?

227
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,154
Uh, no, uh, not that I recall.

228
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,490
I am so happy to hear that.

229
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,283
You know what? And to celebrate,

230
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,619
I've got something
very special planned for you.

231
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,663
Okay. Uh, what's that?

232
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,873
I scheduled your colonoscopy.

233
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,168
Uh, s-say what, now?

234
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,754
The doctor's office called.

235
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,130
How could you leave there

236
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,799
without scheduling
an appointment?

237
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,467
Come on, Tina.
The doctor said I was healthy.

238
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:12,885
Isn't that good enough?

239
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,845
No, Calvin,
that is not good enough.

240
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,722
You know, I looked it up online.

241
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:21,477
Do you know that one in every
48 men will get colon cancer?

242
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,813
And that number
is even worse for Black men.

243
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,898
Well, you know what's worse
for this Black man?

244
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,360
Is having someone turn
my ass into a photo booth.

245
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,906
Calvin, this is nonnegotiable.

246
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,908
You're too important to me.

247
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,203
So here.

248
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,415
What's that?

249
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:43,874
It's your dinner for tonight.

250
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,835
It's a stimulant laxative
that will

251
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,503
flush out your system.

252
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,963
Come on, Tina. Quit playing.

253
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:50,548
I don't want that stuff
inside my body.

254
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,258
Oh, don't worry, baby.

255
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:54,260
It won't be for long.

256
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:03,269
Morning, babe. How you feeling?

257
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,438
Terrible.
That laxative had me running

258
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,440
to the bathroom all night.

259
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:09,608
Aw, poor baby. I would hug you,

260
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,528
but squeezing you right now
might not be a good idea.

261
00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:16,032
Don't worry, Tina.
There's nothing left.

262
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,826
I haven't felt this empty
since N.W.A broke up.

263
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,580
W-Well, wait.
What are you doing sitting down?

264
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,290
You got to go get dressed
for your appointment.

265
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,418
You know, I was thinking
about rescheduling.

266
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,504
We got a big shipment
coming into the shop today.

267
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:33,049
Calvin, it's a box
of air fresheners.

268
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,718
I know.
I just need to be there

269
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,553
to make sure Hector
doesn't steal 'em

270
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,305
like he does the paper towels.

271
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,224
Calvin, I can take care
of the shop.

272
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,143
(knock on door)

273
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:47,229
Oh, hold on.
If you're at the shop

274
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,106
and the doctor says
I can't drive myself,

275
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:50,399
who's taking me?

276
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,486
Oh, hey, buddy.
Ready to go?

277
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:58,407
Seriously? Dave's taking me
to my colonoscopy?

278
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,077
Why not? You always said
he was a pain in the ass.

279
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,788
Just think of him as
the pregame warm-up.

280
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,460
Hey, Gemma.

281
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,045
Hey, Malcolm.
Where's Marty?

282
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,923
I thought he was coming, too.

283
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:13,923
Uh, I don't know.

284
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,591
Maybe we should check
the lockers.

285
00:11:15,674 --> 00:11:18,344
He has a long history
of getting stuffed in 'em.

286
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,431
Okay, class, let's get started.

287
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,934
I just stopped by because
Grover's special guest

288
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,853
for career day is
a close friend of mine.

289
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:32,400
In fact, he's so close,
he's actually my neighbor!

290
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,738
Okay, take it away, Grover.

291
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,908
I told her that wouldn't work.

292
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:48,582
My career day guest
has the coolest job ever.

293
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:52,420
I don't want to brag, but
he's pretty much a superhero,

294
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,965
and his name is
Malcolm Butler!

295
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,967
Well, thank you, G-man.

296
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,428
I don't know if I would say
superhero, but then again,

297
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,222
that's exactly what
a superhero would say.

298
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,807
(chuckles)

299
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,809
Now, as a security guard,

300
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,894
my job is to keep people safe.

301
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,646
Which is why I always
make sure...

302
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:14,483
(loud fanfare playing)

303
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,361
♪ ♪

304
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,834
What's up, tiny Earthlings?

305
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:32,960
Are you kidding me?

306
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,588
This is so cool.

307
00:12:35,671 --> 00:12:37,381
Guys, this is Marty.

308
00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:42,011
He's, uh, uh,
what's-his-name's brother.

309
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,263
Sorry I'm late, guys.
It was hard to find parking...

310
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:46,849
for my spaceship. Oh!

311
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:52,688
Okay, it's in that
parking lot up there.

312
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:52,688
Okay.

313
00:12:52,771 --> 00:12:55,691
You know, I'm really glad
you decided to do this.

314
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:57,443
After all, the
healthier you are,

315
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,195
the longer we get
to be friends.

316
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,614
Yeah. You know,
I thought about that, too,

317
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,533
and then I decided
to do it anyway.

318
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,536
Good, we're here,
so pull in that space.

319
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,872
Okay.

320
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,250
Wait a second, uh...

321
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,960
I don't see
a doctor's office.

322
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,421
All I see is a
Dave & Buster's.

323
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,423
Because that's where
we're going, Dave.

324
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:21,884
Happy friendiversary.

325
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:27,389
Okay, Calvin, we are supposed
to be going to your colonoscopy,

326
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,892
not combining all the
innocent fun of childhood

327
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,977
with the alcoholic
fun of adulthood.

328
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,272
I know, I know,
but a colonoscopy,

329
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,732
that's just about me.

330
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,902
A friendiversary is about us.

331
00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:42,488
(sighs heavily)

332
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,950
You have no idea how long
I've waited to hear those words.

333
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,537
But no, Calvin, I won't do it.

334
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,996
Your health is too important.

335
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,373
Oh, come on.

336
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,583
What could possibly
be more important

337
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:58,587
than spending a full day of
uninterrupted fun with your...

338
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,258
...BFF?

339
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,762
That is a dirty trick, Calvin.

340
00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:08,430
And what's worse is
you didn't tell me

341
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,140
so I could have worn mine.

342
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,185
Come on, Dave,
so what's it gonna be?

343
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,853
We gonna do this or what?

344
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,482
Calvin, I don't know.

345
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,776
All right, okay,
how about this?

346
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:23,279
We play one game of Skee-Ball.

347
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:27,116
If you win, I go ahead
and get my colonoscopy.

348
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:31,662
If I win, you treat
my recently evacuated colon

349
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,497
to hot wings and beer.

350
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,500
Okay, you know what, fine.

351
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,503
If that's the only way that I
can make you do it, then I'm in.

352
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,463
Great. Come on, let's go.

353
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,425
But FYI, that shirt would look
a lot cooler as a tank top.

354
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,974
Hey.

355
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,974
Well, there he is.

356
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:55,436
The world's first
jackass-tronaut.

357
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,479
Hey, don't be mad at me.

358
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,065
It's not my fault the kids voted
to have a mural of me

359
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,984
painted on the handball court.

360
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,320
Well, congratulations, Marty.

361
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,323
You officially won career day
and made me look like a chump.

362
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,241
Oh, come on, man,
that's not what I meant to do.

363
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,868
Well, what did you mean to do?

364
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,745
Malcolm, ever since
we were kids,

365
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,331
you were always the cool one,
but I was the nerd.

366
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:17,082
The geek. The...

367
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,084
whatever else Dad
used to call me.

368
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,004
Oh, you mean like poindexter

369
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:23,839
and brainiac.

370
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:27,217
My favorite was
dork chocolate.

371
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,428
It's hard to forget that one

372
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,138
when he wrote it
on my birthday cake.

373
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,391
I mean, I know
it might sound dumb,

374
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,561
but I was really excited
to go back to school for a day

375
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,521
and be the cool guy I never was.

376
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:40,856
Oh, come on, man,
you were cool.

377
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,024
Oh, yeah, right.

378
00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,734
No, I'm serious, Marty.

379
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:46,195
I mean, I'm a really
confident dude,

380
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,280
but I think I would have
felt ridiculous

381
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,408
walking into that classroom
in a damn space suit.

382
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,369
But not you.

383
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,870
You owned it.

384
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,705
And if owning who you are
is not cool,

385
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,416
then, little brother,
I don't know what is.

386
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877
It was pretty cool, right?

387
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,877
Yeah.

388
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,212
And the lunch lady even gave me
her phone number.

389
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,588
(both laugh)

390
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,840
You see, man, you should
keep that suit.

391
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,550
A lunch lady today,

392
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,761
maybe someone under 60 tomorrow.

393
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,556
I wish I could keep it.

394
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,766
Too bad it's
a top secret prototype

395
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,309
worth a million dollars.

396
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,937
What? You snuck
a million-dollar space suit

397
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,730
out of a high-security facility

398
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,107
to impress a bunch
of fourth-graders?

399
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:24,733
Are you crazy?!

400
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,235
I don't know, but I'll tell you
what's crazier.

401
00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,736
You're gonna help me
sneak it back in.

402
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,738
(laughs):
Uh-uh.

403
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,574
There's no way, man. Why would I
risk my job to do that?

404
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,410
Well, because I snuck it out
on your watch.

405
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,788
Grab the suit. Let's go.

406
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,788
Okay.

407
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,755
(bell rings)

408
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,755
Yes!

409
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,466
Another 30. You are definitely
getting your colonoscopy today.

410
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,636
This isn't fair.

411
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,304
You didn't tell me
you were great at Skee-Ball.

412
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,973
That's right.
Because if I did,

413
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,516
you might have
picked Whac-A-Mole.

414
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,268
It just makes me feel weird

415
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:02,604
smashing those cute
little guys over the head.

416
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,441
Well, I can still win this thing

417
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,317
if I get that hundred
in the corner.

418
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:08,944
Please, Calvin,
nobody ever hits those.

419
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,446
You might as well give up now.

420
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,613
Uh-uh.

421
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,615
If I get this ball
in that hole,

422
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,034
that means no one's
getting near mine.

423
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,955
♪ ♪

424
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,263
(bell rings)

425
00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:36,263
Oh!

426
00:17:36,346 --> 00:17:38,599
(laughing)

427
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:43,145
How the hell'd you do that?

428
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:44,897
Well, let's just say I was

429
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,191
literally fighting
to save my ass.

430
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:55,365
Okay, you know what,
Calvin, fine, you win.

431
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:58,035
But I don't...
I don't get it.

432
00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:00,245
You know, you are one of
the toughest guys I know.

433
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,081
How are you this afraid
of a minor medical procedure?

434
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:06,168
It's not the procedure
I'm afraid of, Dave.

435
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,338
Okay, well, then what is it?

436
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,340
What if they find something?
All right?

437
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,091
I just got a clean bill
of health.

438
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,760
I want to quit while I'm ahead.

439
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,679
Okay, Calvin,
what does that even mean?

440
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,891
It means if I'm sick,
I don't want to know.

441
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:24,061
Look, Tina said that
one out of 48 men

442
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,854
get colon cancer.

443
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,190
What if I'm number 48?

444
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,860
But not knowing doesn't
keep you from being sick.

445
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,114
It keeps you from being able
to do anything about it.

446
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,575
Look, I know this
doesn't make any sense,

447
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:42,454
but this disease is
even worse for Black men,

448
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:47,209
and... I just can't think
of the possibility

449
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,294
of not being there
for my family.

450
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,922
Yeah, but isn't family
the whole point?

451
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,049
I mean, how would...
how would you feel

452
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,135
if Tina or the boys
were in your situation?

453
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,846
Wouldn't you want them
to know the truth

454
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,639
so if there was
some sort of bad news

455
00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:02,391
they could do something
about it?

456
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:04,059
Of course I would.

457
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,769
Well, then don't you think
you owe it to them

458
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,271
to do the same?

459
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:12,901
Come on, Calvin,
you know I'm right.

460
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,989
Fine. Let's go.

461
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,074
Great.

462
00:19:19,157 --> 00:19:23,495
But before we do, I want you
to know something, Dave.

463
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:28,876
You are my BFF.

464
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,587
Thank you.

465
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,299
You know, with you
wearing that shirt,

466
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:37,092
well, it'll kind of be like,

467
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,927
you know, we're in
that room together.

468
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,513
And you took it too far!

469
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,772
Smells good, babe.
What are we having?

470
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,609
Well, in honor of the good news
about your colonoscopy,

471
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,361
I thought we'd celebrate
with rump roast.

472
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,989
(laughter)

473
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:01,491
Very funny. Go ahead.

474
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,285
Get it out of your system.

475
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:05,954
After that orange laxative,
I know I did.

476
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,790
Well, seriously, Pop,

477
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,792
I'm really glad that
you went through with it.

478
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,628
Yeah, Dad, we're
proud of you, man.

479
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,463
I mean, I would have preferred
you showed us the pictures

480
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,548
after dinner, but still.

481
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:21,470
Well, what's important is
now we know that you're gonna

482
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,096
be with us a long time.

483
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,807
Yeah. And pretty soon, we'll
know the same about you.

484
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,351
Ah. What do you mean?

485
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,227
Well, I talked
to your doctor today

486
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,813
and scheduled your colonoscopy.

487
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,316
Say what, now?

488
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:38,487
Babe, it's just as important
that women get them, too.

489
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,573
So, here you go.

490
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,035
(pops)

491
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,578
Enjoy your dinner.

492
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,336
Colon cancer is 90% treatable
if detected early.

493
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,381
Go to
StandUpToCancer.org/ColonCancer

494
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,216
for information
on which screening test

495
00:20:59,299 --> 00:21:00,634
may be right for you.

496
00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:07,057
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

497
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:10,060
and TOYOTA.

498
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,812
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org