1 00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,530 This is a first. 2 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,358 Empty service bay available. 3 00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:11,924 Yeah, it happens. 4 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,404 You know, usually, when I bring my car in, 5 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:14,797 I have to leave it out on the street. 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,407 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 7 00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,800 'Cause you're so busy. 8 00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:19,976 Yup. 9 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:22,761 Not today, though. 10 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,981 No, not today. 11 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:27,592 You want to talk about it? 12 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,594 I do not. 13 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:32,945 [sighs] 14 00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,861 You know I can't do that. 15 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:38,647 All right, look, fine. 16 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,823 Business isn't what it used to be. 17 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,044 And it's not just the competition from the big chains, 18 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,480 it's all these new cars. 19 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:48,004 They don't have driveshafts and differentials, 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,920 it's just motherboards and chips. 21 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:53,357 It's like riding around in a big-ass iPad. 22 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,926 Well... 23 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,884 would you like some constructive criticism? 24 00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:01,539 Oh... Lord. 25 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,498 Look, this place is a little old-school. 26 00:01:03,541 --> 00:01:05,500 I mean, you don't even have free Wi-Fi. 27 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,979 Yes, I do. 28 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,981 It's from the Thai place next door. 29 00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:12,637 The password is "padthai22." 30 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,813 They tried to change it, but I figured it out. 31 00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:16,380 [laughs] 32 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:17,729 Okay. 33 00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:19,470 Have you ever noticed one of those businesses 34 00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,733 that has a sticker in the window that reads, 35 00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,344 "People love us on Yelp"? 36 00:01:24,562 --> 00:01:26,347 Yeah, but why would I care about some sticker? 37 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,827 Well, because your customers care about them. 38 00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,481 I use the site all the time. 39 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,483 In fact, I have Elite reviewer status, 40 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,484 not to brag. 41 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,095 Don't worry, you didn't. 42 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,662 Okay, think about this, 43 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,403 would Tina ever read a book 44 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:40,752 that didn't have an Oprah sticker on it? 45 00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:43,059 [chuckling] Hell no. 46 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,714 How would she know if the book is good? 47 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:52,590 Ah... 48 00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,592 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 49 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,811 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 50 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,906 "Since 1989, Calvin Butler 51 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:06,343 "has been Pasadena's 52 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,607 "most sought-after mechanic. 53 00:02:09,651 --> 00:02:13,045 There has even been talk of a statue." 54 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,703 Whoa, check you out, Pop.What? 55 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,966 You building a Yelp page. Man, that's pretty ambitious 56 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,838 for a man of your, uh... [stammers] 57 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,535 ...vintage. 58 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,017 Well, I'll have you know that I'm actually 59 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,714 pretty good with technology. 60 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:32,413 See, I got this cool picture of the shop. 61 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:35,155 All I have to do is get it off my phone and onto my computer, 62 00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:37,809 which is easy because, uh... 63 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:45,817 Just let me do it. 64 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,384 Oh, I like that idea. 65 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,908 Yeah, there you go. [chuckles] Yeah. [mutters] 66 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,954 Hey, man, 67 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,869 I've been thinking, we should go out 68 00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,392 for a night on the town this week, 69 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,828 like back in the day. Butler boys. 70 00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,788 Oh, yeah, that's interesting. [laughs] 71 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,572 You know, since the day you met Necie, 72 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:04,445 you have asked me to hang out a total of zero times. 73 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,535 But now that she's out of town, 74 00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:09,406 suddenly, I'm not invisible anymore. 75 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,581 I know, I know. 76 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:11,713 I've been a bad brother. 77 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,193 Yeah. It's just so weird 78 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:14,672 with Necie being gone. 79 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,413 I don't know what to do with myself, man. 80 00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:19,416 For the last six months, I've been, you know, 81 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,201 busy... every night. 82 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,900 Yes, I know. I can hear the shrieking. 83 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,208 Thank God Necie is quiet. 84 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:31,820 Good Lord, yuck. 85 00:03:31,863 --> 00:03:33,691 [chuckles] I see your yuck, 86 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,954 and raise you a... [shudders] 87 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,739 Okay, it has been a minute 88 00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,480 since I hit the clubs. 89 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,960 We should take two separate cars 'cause, uh, 90 00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:44,093 you know how your boy does. [laughs] 91 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,877 [forced laugh] 92 00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:48,619 No, we don't. Let's keep it that way. 93 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,493 Here, Pops, your picture is uploaded. 94 00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:55,104 Ah, cool. All right. 95 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:57,628 And... 96 00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,631 Calvin's Yelp page is ready to launch. 97 00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:03,112 All right. This is exciting. 98 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,201 Okay, ten... nine... 99 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,898 eight... And post. [laptop chimes] 100 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,857 Dad, 101 00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,467 you got to respect the countdown, man. 102 00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,730 Marty, I ain't got time to waste. 103 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:14,602 I'm trying to get me a sticker. 104 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,650 So... 105 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:22,174 you about ready to close that thing? 106 00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,655 Almost. 107 00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:29,051 You know, writing a Yelp review is tricky. [sighs] 108 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,749 There's a fine line between rave and going over the top. 109 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:33,490 Oh, there's also a fine line between 110 00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:35,710 sex and me going to sleep. 111 00:04:35,753 --> 00:04:38,495 Stay with me, baby. I'm almost done. 112 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,497 [groans] Just give him five stars 113 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,543 and take your pants off. 114 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,023 Look, you know, it's not that simple. 115 00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,983 I take the integrity of my Yelp reviews very seriously. 116 00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:50,072 There are legions of Yelpers out there 117 00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:53,641 who have come to trust the reviews of "Dave J." 118 00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,861 That is 100% in your head. 119 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,298 Is it? 120 00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,952 I gave one star to a bike shop that bent my frame. 121 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,912 36 people found that review "helpful." 122 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:08,525 That bike shop is now a dentist office. 123 00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:12,050 Mmm. That kind of power is a turn-on. 124 00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,225 Is it? 125 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,184 No, but it's 11:15, so 126 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,273 yes.O-Okay. 127 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,322 CHILDREN [singing off-key]: ♪ This little light of 128 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:25,586 ♪ Mine 129 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,544 ♪ I'm gonna let it... Ugh. 130 00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,851 Hey, Tina. Thanks for picking me up. 131 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:33,768 What in the Fergie's national anthem is going on in there? 132 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,161 It's the after-school music program. 133 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,772 We lost our music teacher last year, 134 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,556 so the biology teacher is filling in. 135 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,646 Well, what, is he dissecting a live goat in there? 136 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,562 It's not that bad. 137 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:48,739 [children wailing-singing] 138 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,915 Okay, it's terrible. Mm. 139 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,264 I'm looking to hire someone new, 140 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,005 but it's a really hard position to fill. 141 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,356 I need someone who can sing and dance 142 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:57,792 and has the charisma 143 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,098 to inspire the kids. 144 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,622 And pretty. 145 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,757 Gemma, how gullible do you think I am? 146 00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,325 What? Why would you-- Wh-Wh-What? 147 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,634 [imitating Gemma]: "Hey, T. Thanks for picking me up. 148 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:16,724 Meet me in front of multipurpose room three." 149 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:19,944 You knew damn well I was gonna walk in and hear all that mess. 150 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:23,165 Whoa. You think-- Wh-- Uh, what? 151 00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:26,864 Will you do it? 152 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,213 [smacks lips] 153 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:30,651 Gemma, you know I've got my cupcake business and... 154 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,870 But it's only a couple of afternoons a week. 155 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,916 [sighs] But you know what? 156 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,221 I shouldn't have put you on the spot. 157 00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,093 Yeah, you shouldn't have. 158 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,225 Oh, hi, Miss Tina. Hey. 159 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,966 I wasn't expecting to see you here. 160 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,406 Can we go home, Mom? 161 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,711 I'm sad. 162 00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,800 This is making all the kids fall out of love 163 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,672 with music. Oh. 164 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,809 The only thing worse than that singing is y'all's acting. 165 00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:00,724 I'll take that as a yes. 166 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:03,205 All right. [shrieks] 167 00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,644 Mm-hmm. Mm... 168 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,733 Mm-hmm... 169 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,996 So...? It's good, right? 170 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,824 No, it's great. [chuckles] 171 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,174 Real rave. Five stars. 172 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,046 Happy to do it. 173 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,222 [stammers] There's one line in here that, 174 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,702 uh, you know, threw me off a little. 175 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,269 "Don't be put off 176 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,446 "by the owner's prickly exterior, 177 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:29,666 you'll come to realize he's a great guy." 178 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,189 Yeah. 179 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,236 Why-why did you call me "prickly"? 180 00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,978 Well, the takeaway is 181 00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:38,893 "great guy." 182 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,460 Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, 183 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,375 but before that it's "prickly." 184 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:48,424 Okay, look, Calvin, don't take this as an insult, but, 185 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,861 you know, I didn't want my followers to come in and be... 186 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:54,430 caught off guard by your... strong personality. 187 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,738 But, again, "great guy." 188 00:07:57,781 --> 00:08:01,263 I appreciate the review, Dave, 189 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:04,396 but, come on, I'm not prickly. 190 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,401 Oh, I agree, Pop. 191 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,446 You're not prickly. 192 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,795 Thank you. 193 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,754 Yeah, that's not the right word. 194 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:16,278 It's more like... cantankerous. [chuckles] 195 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:19,368 Testy. 196 00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:20,500 Cranky. 197 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:22,240 Ooh, you know, I considered cranky. 198 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:25,069 Ah. Ooh, you know what? I got it: 199 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:26,331 obstreperous. 200 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,943 Oh, yeah. Obstreperous. No, no, no, no. 201 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,814 I am not obstreperous. 202 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,295 I'm the opposite. I am very streperous. 203 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,516 Calvin, you know, you're only focusing on the negative. 204 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:37,734 Look at this. 205 00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:41,172 18 thumbs up for Dave J. I'm killing it. 206 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,436 But the important thing is-is 207 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,438 I'm bringing eyeballs to your site. 208 00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:49,920 Yes, and all the eyeballs are agreeing with you. 209 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,836 "The owner is definitely on the prickly side." 210 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:57,362 Oh, ooh, oh, look at, "Watch out for Mr. Grumpy." 211 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,801 Look, these are all five-star reviews, though. 212 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,759 This is how you earn the sticker. 213 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,021 Ooh, "crusty." 214 00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:06,937 Ooh, yup, yup. "Crotchety." 215 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,856 CHILDREN [singing]: ♪ Oh, freedom ♪ Freedom 216 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,945 ♪ Freedom [off-key]: ♪ Freedom 217 00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,120 ♪ Freedom 218 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,992 ♪ Freedom... Stop. 219 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,297 Stop, stop, stop.[music stops] 220 00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,169 Okay. [chuckles] 221 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:24,085 William, Phoebe, I think you two will be happier 222 00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:26,522 in the rhythm section. We all will. 223 00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:30,874 Okay, now, let's take it back 224 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,789 to the top.[music starts playing] 225 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,965 CHILDREN: ♪ Oh, freedom 226 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,533 [off-key]: ♪ Freedom, freedom ♪ Freedom 227 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,796 ♪ Freedom ♪ Freedom... 228 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,407 Stop! [music stops] 229 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:43,974 Ugh, Grover, 230 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:47,804 you are croaking like a frog. Stand up. 231 00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:50,198 I need for you to sing from your diaphragm, okay? 232 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:52,983 We're gonna take you up an octave, Froggy, all right? 233 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,550 ♪ Ah ♪ Ah 234 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,596 ♪ Ah, ah ♪ Ah 235 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:57,597 ♪ Ah... Yes! 236 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,991 That's your sweet spot, Kermit. 237 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,297 [laughter] 238 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,516 Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't laugh. 239 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:05,692 Some of y'all sound like 240 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,389 you got your fingers slammed in a car door. 241 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,263 Let's go. Again. 242 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:16,180 This is gonna take a week? 243 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:17,399 Well, it wouldn't take a week 244 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,880 if you ever changed your oil. 245 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,186 Man, you sound like my father. 246 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:25,015 Well, I am not your father because, if I was, 247 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:28,192 I'd take your car and give you a bike. 248 00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:29,977 Now take that to your real daddy. 249 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:37,201 So, Calvin, just curious, 250 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:38,899 how do you think that guy's feeling right now? 251 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:42,293 [chuckling] Probably stupid for not changing his oil. 252 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,948 Okay, you know what, uh, let me rephrase. 253 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,255 What do you think that guy's gonna say on Yelp? 254 00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,257 "Five stars"? 255 00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,956 "Guy reminds me of my father"? 256 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,612 Come on, Dave, come on, don't-don't get in my head 257 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,092 about this.Well, I don't want to, 258 00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,268 but with Yelp comes tremendous responsibility. 259 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,444 I don't want the responsibility, 260 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,620 I just want the sticker. 261 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,188 You have to earn the sticker. 262 00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,886 Now, it's not that not hard. 263 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,888 You just got to add a little bit of sunshine. 264 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,283 Now, I've taken the liberty of making you a little cheat sheet. 265 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:18,286 Here, "Number one, ask them how they're doing, 266 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,896 i.e. how their day is." 267 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,117 Their day is terrible. Their car's broken. 268 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,596 Ugh. 269 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,077 Calvin, come on, just try it out. 270 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:30,080 [sighs] All right, I'll give it a shot, 271 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:31,908 man. Okay, look. 272 00:11:31,952 --> 00:11:33,083 [laughs] Yeah, all right. 273 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,607 Hello. Welcome to Calvin's Pit Stop. 274 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,523 How are you today? I'd really like to know. 275 00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:47,576 Hey. 276 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,274 Hello, again. How are you? 277 00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:53,190 I need to dump some used motor oil. Where do I put it? 278 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,626 I'll tell you where you can put it. 279 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,498 You can put it...[coughs] 280 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:02,286 Look, I'm sorry, but we only do that for our customers. 281 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:06,073 But the recycling center is just a mile up Lincoln in Altadena. 282 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,596 It's a lovely drive, by the way. 283 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:08,989 All right, fine. 284 00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,338 [Calvin chuckles] 285 00:12:10,381 --> 00:12:13,558 Be sure to love us on Yelp. 286 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,038 Man... 287 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,213 You see that... 288 00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,562 Calvin, that showed amazing restraint. 289 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,652 It sure did. Did you hear him?Yeah. 290 00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:21,958 "I want to recycle my oil." 291 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,047 You know what? I was about to recycle... 292 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:26,310 Hey, hello. 293 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,138 Welcome to Calvin's Pit Stop. 294 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:31,141 How can I turn your Monday a fun day? 295 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,752 Nailed it. 296 00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,369 So, I wanted to show you 297 00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,588 what I'm gonna do with my class tomorrow. 298 00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,460 Nobody can teach the difference 299 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,767 between major and minor keys like 300 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,334 Stevie Wonder. [laughs] 301 00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,683 Ooh. Whew. 302 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,948 This is gonna blow their little unformed minds. 303 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,819 That's awesome. 304 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,779 You're doing a great job. It's just... 305 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,781 these kids are pretty sheltered, 306 00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,739 and I'm afraid you're being a 307 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,611 teensy bit... blunt. 308 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,004 Yup. That's me. 309 00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,485 [laughs]Yeah. 310 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:11,791 And that's great. 311 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,923 It's just, maybe you're a little too blunt. 312 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,492 Just a teensy weensy bit. 313 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:19,755 Okay, so let me get this straight. 314 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,497 I'm being "a teensy weensy bit... 315 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:23,628 too blunt"? 316 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:26,022 Just try to remember they're children. 317 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,982 Children with parents who aren't shy about calling the principal. 318 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,505 But, again, 319 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:33,900 you're doing great, so great. 320 00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:36,641 So great, but too blunt, huh? 321 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,513 Just an eensy, teensy, weensy bit. [chuckles] 322 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,515 And pretty, so pretty. 323 00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:47,000 Whoo! Oh, man! 324 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,871 Man, it's been a long time. 325 00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,394 Last time I was out like this, 326 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:53,006 I was a desperate single guy, striking out with hot women. 327 00:13:53,049 --> 00:13:55,008 [laughs] 328 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,053 Well, it's a grind out here, man. 329 00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,490 You know, you are lucky you are not on the hunt anymore. 330 00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:01,536 Hey, what can I say, baby? I'm a lucky man. 331 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,364 [laughs] [scoffs] Yeah, right. 332 00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,977 I am in your way. Forgive me. 333 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:11,546 Oh, don't worry. I'll find a way to squeeze in. 334 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,032 What the hell was that? What? 335 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,078 She was hitting on you, man. 336 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,646 No, really? Yes, really. 337 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:26,953 Save my spot. 338 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,738 At all costs. [chuckles] Okay. 339 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:32,393 This spot right here? Okay, I got it. Mm-hmm. 340 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,438 [grunting, whooshing] 341 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:37,746 You're dancing with me. 342 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,531 [chuckles]Who are you? 343 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,664 I don't know. 344 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,888 [grunts] Uh-oh. 345 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,065 Baby, why are you frowning? 346 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:54,023 I can't help it, bae. 347 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:57,548 I've been fake-smiling all day. 348 00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,899 It's like my face been doing squats. 349 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,859 But, apparently, that's what you have to do 350 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,079 if I want to get one of these Yelp stickers. 351 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:10,518 I mean, God forbid I look at somebody the wrong way, 352 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,433 and they write a bad review. 353 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,392 Well, that's ridiculous, Calvin. 354 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,785 Your customers have always loved you. 355 00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,134 I know. 356 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,875 So what if I'm prickly? 357 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,660 I am who I am. Exactly. 358 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:23,966 You know, like today, 359 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,968 Gemma told me that I was too blunt. 360 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,535 What's wrong with blunt? 361 00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:28,840 Nothing. 362 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:31,104 It's not my job to lie to those kids. 363 00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:33,410 They need honesty if they're gonna do better. 364 00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,978 You know what, if we are guilty of anything, 365 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,632 it's that we care too much. 366 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:38,894 Boom. 367 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,809 [grunts] 368 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:43,159 I actually like your bluntness. 369 00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:45,814 Mm. You are a strong, blunt woman. 370 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,163 Mm-hmm. 371 00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,731 And I like that you're prickly, you know? 372 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,515 That means you don't take any crap. 373 00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,910 You mess with a porcupine, your behind's gonna get pricked. 374 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,825 [laughs] 375 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:59,001 You see, that's why we are a great couple. 376 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:01,612 Mm. That's right, that's right. 377 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,919 Um, baby, may I be blunt? 378 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,748 I wish that you would. 379 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,011 I want to take you to the bedroom 380 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:12,797 and do 17 nasty things to you. 381 00:16:12,841 --> 00:16:13,973 Seventeen? 382 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,847 Ooh, can we do nine and get some rest? 383 00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:23,678 No? Well, how about I lay there, and we can do 12? 384 00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,645 [Marty laughing] 385 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,823 Valerie! Valerie. 386 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,739 Valerie, I... I'm an engaged man. 387 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,872 A very, very flattered engaged man. 388 00:16:43,915 --> 00:16:45,134 Okay. [laughing] 389 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,487 I feel like a piece of meat, 390 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,489 but I did get a free margatini. 391 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,144 I figured it out. 392 00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,494 You know, it all makes sense now. 393 00:16:57,538 --> 00:17:00,106 See, it used to be, in situations like this, you... 394 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,151 you always had an air of desperation about you. 395 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,849 Yeah, no argument there. 396 00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:07,156 But now that you have a fiancée, 397 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,940 it is totally different. 398 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,942 You see, the desperation is gone. 399 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,857 You're loose and-and funny, 400 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,903 and you are not even trying at all. 401 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,078 Why didn't I have this superpower 402 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,558 when I could've enjoyed it? 403 00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,647 That is the irony, my brother. 404 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,693 You only have it because you don't need it. 405 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,913 You know, this is fun, man, but... 406 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:27,176 I am over this dating scene. 407 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,048 got to be honest, lil' bro... 408 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,660 ...I envy what you have with Necie. 409 00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,792 Aw, man. 410 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,925 You know, if you want to find the one, 411 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,187 you got to meet her somewhere, right? 412 00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:40,711 Yeah. Let me 413 00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:42,148 use my powers for good. 414 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,019 What do you mean? 415 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,239 Excuse me, miss. 416 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,589 Do you like Idris Elba?Yes, I do. 417 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:51,722 Okay, well, what if Idris was younger, more athletic, 418 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,768 and had a job coaching baseball at one of the most prestigious 419 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,161 universities in Southern California? 420 00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:56,684 Whoa, you do? 421 00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:57,902 No, girl. Look at me. 422 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:02,342 No, I struck out at kickball, and I'm engaged, but... 423 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:06,215 ...this is my brother, and he is a catch. 424 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:07,956 [clears throat] Hey, I'm Malcolm. 425 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,349 Six two. 426 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,873 Hi, Malcolm. Uh, come sit with me and my friends. 427 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,571 Oh, I would love to. 428 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,095 Can you do a British accent? 429 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:19,010 [British accent]: I do believe I can.[laughs] 430 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,146 Oh, hey, Calvin. 431 00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,888 So, you just wait out here? 432 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:29,108 Sometimes I do, yes. 433 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,242 What do you want? Okay, well, 434 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,592 despite my intentions, which were 435 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:37,594 very, very good... 436 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:38,987 [sighs] I messed up. 437 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,208 What the hell? 438 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:45,254 So my rating went down a half a star? 439 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:48,127 I know. Scroll down. 440 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,912 "The owner smiled the whole time, 441 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:52,174 it was creepy." 442 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,265 Oh, and then there's this one. 443 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,050 "Expect a lot of mindless chitchat." 444 00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,791 In my defense, 445 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,794 I happen to love mindless chitchat. 446 00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,014 You know, I should've followed my instincts. 447 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,799 It just didn't feel right being so nice. 448 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,673 I'm done, Dave. 449 00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,327 I'm bringing back old Calvin, 450 00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,938 and if that doesn't give me a sticker, then so be it. 451 00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,722 No, y-you are getting that sticker 452 00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,942 because you're a great mechanic. 453 00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,639 Look, you were getting nothing but five stars 454 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:23,945 until I started getting in your head. 455 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,120 You're damn right I was. 456 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,122 Yes, you were, and you want to know why? 457 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,255 Because people love Prickly Calvin. 458 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,823 I love Prickly Calvin. 459 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,869 I know you do. 460 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:36,740 Now get the hell out of my way. 461 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:40,396 Hey, Calvin. 462 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,965 Welcome back. 463 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,061 CHILDREN: ♪ Freedom 464 00:19:53,104 --> 00:19:55,063 ♪ Freedom ♪ Oh, freedom 465 00:19:55,106 --> 00:19:56,891 ♪ Freedom 466 00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:59,110 ♪ Freedom ♪ Oh, freedom 467 00:19:59,154 --> 00:20:02,113 ♪ Freedom, freedom ♪ Freedom 468 00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:03,767 ♪ Oh, freedom, oh, freedom 469 00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:06,857 ♪ Freedom. 470 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:10,818 Yes! I love it. 471 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:14,300 That was almost beautiful. 472 00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:17,085 You little germ buckets can sing. 473 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:20,741 All right, give me some, give me some, give me some. 474 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,397 Okay, okay, now, run me my props. 475 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,268 I think that's what I'm about to do. 476 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,924 Tina, I'm blown away. 477 00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,100 Oh, of course you are. And by the way? 478 00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:33,928 Five more kids showed up this week, 479 00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,756 and two of them can actually sing. 480 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,453 [both laugh] 481 00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,368 That's great. Uh-huh. 482 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,022 Look, Gemma, I, um, 483 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,937 I know you're in a tough position, 484 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,765 but... I got to be me. 485 00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:46,506 And I want you to be. 486 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,290 If I'm gonna be good at my job, 487 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,944 I've got to hire the best people.... Mm. 488 00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,380 ...and you are the best. Mm. 489 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,252 You can be as blunt as you want to be. 490 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:55,123 Good. [chuckles] 'Cause those pants 491 00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,472 aren't doing your butt any favors.