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(soft music)
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(ominous music)
(breathing heavily)
(crying)
(knocking)
(mic tapping)
(upbeat music)
- [Charles] How 'bout you start at the very beginning?
Tell us about your early childhood.
- My early childhood.
Well, my parents adopted me when I was a baby.
And about four years later,
they adopted my younger brother, Gabe.
- [Charles] And was he a welcome addition to the family
or an intruder?
- We got along great.
Things were good up until about age nine.
- [Charles] What happened?
- Well, my dad took a new job
that kept him out of the house most of the time.
So I barely saw him and I started acting out.
The times that I did see him,
I tended to bring more anger out of him.
- Was he ever abusive towards you?
- I wouldn't call it abusive.
It was a stressful time for him and our family.
But unfortunately,
any closeness that I had with my dad
started to unravel at that time.
- [Charles] Did your family have any improvements
by the time you reached your teen years?
- No, things pretty much stayed the same,
but one thing that they changed with me though
is who I started hanging around.
When I was 14, I met this kid named Dave
and it wasn't long before him and I
were real good friends.
- Alright, let's see what we got here.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, what's that?
- That's the story I'm writing.
- What are you writing a story for?
- It's for my writing class.
- That stinks, man.
- Well, it's not that bad.
I'm kind of enjoying writing it.
- Whatever, man.
Why isn't there every anything on?
Oh, here we go.
(laughing)
(bell tolling)
- Do you guys value the people in your life?
Do you guys value your friends?
How about your parents and siblings?
Do you guys value them?
How about the bully at your school?
How many of you value him or her?
Nobody ever loves the bullies, do they?
Not something you typically think about, right?
But you know what?
Jesus loves them.
In fact,
Jesus loved and approached
the people who were looked down on the most
in the society of his day.
The guy we're gonna take a look at was despised.
Like a bully
who might shake down someone for the lunch money,
this guy would shake down people for extra money
on top of what they owed in taxes.
His name was Zacchaeus
and we're gonna look at how Jesus responded to this man.
Turn with me to Luke chapter 19.
- How was Sunday school boys?
- Good. - Fine.
- What'd you learn?
John, what was the lesson about?
- It was,
he was talking about this short dude
and I think his name was like Zach.
- Zacchaeus?
- Yeah, yeah, I think that was it.
- What'd you learn about Zacchaeus?
- I don't remember.
- How many times do I need to tell you
you need to pay attention in class?
Pastor Marcus brought this up several times.
You need to pay attention in class
and stop distracting other kids.
How many times do we have to have this conversation?
- Then she came stomping down the stairs in a fury,
stomped her way into the living room
and got right up into her dad's face.
"Why won't you let me go to the prom, " she exclaimed.
(phone ringing)
Hello?
- [Dave] Hey John, you've got to come over, man.
- Why, what's going on?
- My brother invited us to a party tonight.
- I don't know.
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
- [Dave] You're not gonna want to miss this party, man.
There's gonna be high school chicks there.
- Really?
- [Dave] Yeah, now come over.
- All right, I'm coming.
(hip hop music)
- Why don't you guys take a look around,
see if you know anybody?
- Come on, let's go.
- Hey, you guys want some of this?
- No, thanks.
- You sure man?
What about you?
- Yeah, yeah, I'll try.
- Oh yeah dude, puff it up, bro.
(coughing)
- It's good, man.
Come on.
- [Male] Try it.
- Man, let me see that thing.
(coughing)
(upbeat music)
(knocking) (ominous music)
- [Female] Jasmine, are you okay?
What happened?
- Please, lock the door.
- [Female] Jasmine, talk to me.
What happened?
- I was raped.
- What?
Oh my God, Jasmine, I am so sorry.
Is there anything, anything I can do?
- Could you stay here a while?
I really don't want to be alone right now.
- Come here, come here.
(crying) (sad music)
- [Charles] So after that party, what happened?
- Dave and I continued smoking weed.
And when we got bored with that,
we started trying other things.
That certainly didn't help things with my parents.
Eventually, it reached a tipping point.
I remember that day so clearly.
It was a few days before my 18th birthday,
They gave me an ultimatum and I wasn't having it
so I moved out.
- [Charles] What did you do?
How did you get by?
- I thought I had it all figured out.
I moved in with Dave and his brother
and sure, things were fine for awhile.
But then reality came.
We spent most of our money on drugs
instead of on bills that needed to be paid.
In fact, we even stole from neighbors a couple of times
to come up with money.
- Ugh.
What about your family during this time?
Did they try to reach out to you, try to help you?
- Yeah, they tried.
I just didn't respond.
- Was there anything good that came out of that time?
- Yeah.
I met Kayla.
Then her and I got married in April of 2008.
- Did things ever improve with your family?
- A little bit.
As much as I would allow.
Do we really need to go to my parents' house today?
- Yes, we made plans with them.
- Why did I do that?
Can we just cancel with them?
- Look, you've already bought a gift.
Let's just go, have dinner, and then we can leave, okay?
- Yeah, okay.
I'm 'bout to take the dog out.
- Alright.
(dark music)
John, you ready to go?
(dark music)
(sighs)
(dark music)
John?
(dark music)
What are you doing?
- The light was on in the garage.
You ready to go?
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
(knocking)
- Hey guys, glad you could make it.
- Hey dad. - Hey.
Kayla. - Hi.
- Come on in. - Thanks.
- Hey guys.
- Hey Gabe, still haven't moved out of here yet?
- Not yet.
- What are you, like 24?
- 23.
- What's the hold up, man?
- Actually Gabe's working on that right now.
- Oh yeah, how you doing that?
- He's applying around to colleges.
- What are you, his spokesperson, dad?
Let him answer for himself.
- John, Kayla.
Hey.
Oh, so good to see you.
- Happy mother's day mom.
- Ah thanks.
- Happy mother's day.
- They're beautiful.
So how are you two doing?
- We're all right. - Yeah.
- Well, come on in, make yourselves at home.
Dinner's almost ready.
- John, how's the job coming along?
- It's a job.
Nothing new to report.
- Kayla, how about you?
How's the dentist office treating you?
- My job's going great, yeah.
- Got to go to the bathroom.
I'll be back.
- So how was the drive over here, Kayla?
- Oh, it was smooth.
That was until we hit traffic.
I swear, couldn't it be just one time in the year
where there's like no construction anywhere?
Just one time, that's all I ask, you know?
- Can you excuse me?
- And maybe it's just me,
but it seems like every time I get
to one of those constructions,
it's right when that sign flips to stop
and then they make me sit there and wait like forever?
You know what I mean?
Yeah?
(toilet flushing)
- Hey dad, what's up?
- Everything okay?
- What do you mean?
- You were in there for quite a while.
- You think I was in there using drugs, don't you?
- I didn't say that, did I?
- You didn't have to say it.
I could see it on your face.
Why is it every time I come over here,
you got to do this to me, man?
- I'm just trying to look out for you.
- Oh yeah, by accusing me?
By trying to run my life?
- I am not trying to run your life.
- Really?
- Yes really.
- What is going on over here?
- Nothing, we're leaving.
Come on, get your purse.
- What? - Come on.
- Please don't go.
- I'm sorry, mom.
(crying) (sad music)
- Why did you get into it with him again?
- I'm sorry, I didn't intend to start an argument with him.
- We've talked about this.
You've got to meet him where he's at.
- How do you do it?
How do you talk to him?
- Try to make him see that you love him.
- You're right.
(sad music)
- Wow, it's like clockwork.
You're always out of here right at three.
- Yep.
- All right, I'll see you tomorrow, man.
- See you tomorrow.
(gentle music)
Hey man, hey, where's Dave at?
- Kitchen.
- Hey buddy, how you doing?
- Hey Dave.
- Got your stuff right here.
Actually, I'm gonna need $150 from you this time.
- I always pay $120 a gram.
- What can I say?
The price has gone up.
- You're gonna treat me
like any of your other customers, man?
Come on, we're friends.
- It's business, John, nothing personal.
It's $150, take it or leave it.
- Can't believe I'm doing this.
You know, there's other dealers I can go to.
- Yeah, but even at 150 bucks,
you're still getting a better deal from me.
So quit whining.
- Thanks, friend.
- Any time, buddy.
(ominous music)
(grunting) (ominous music)
- Where did you learn your survival skills?
- [Male] Oh, I picked it up along the way through life.
Who taught you to hunt?
- I learned a little along the way.
I'm mainly though, a scavenger.
People need people though, that's how we're designed.
I mean based off of how someone was raised
or how their parents parented them.
- What you doing?
- What's it look like I'm doing?
- You messing with that stupid novel again?
Why do you even waste your time with that?
- It's not a waste of time.
I'm making progress.
- Oh.
- I wrote a page the other day.
- Oh, well woopty doo, you wrote a page.
John, you've been messing with that thing
for as long as I've known you.
You're never gonna finish it.
Just accept it, you're not a writer, honey.
- What do you know Kayla?
Just 'cause you have no ambitions,
doesn't mean you got to trample all over mine.
- That is not true and you know it.
- It is true and I know that.
You're still what, a receptionist?
- So?
- You said you wanted to be hygienist, right?
- [Kayla] Yeah.
- What's going on with that?
- I'm still thinking about it.
- Okay, but you're not doing.
I'm doing something here. - I've been looking online.
- Yes, yes, are you looking to do it?
Get a book, start reading, start writing,
start pushing yourself.
- What have you done for years?
Nothing!
- I've listened to you run me into the ground.
You're supposed to be my muse.
But every time you come around, I'm uninspired.
I should be here showing you my work
but I'm putting it away.
- How is it my fault?
- It's just your fault.
(dark music)
- Kayla, what are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?
What are you doing in here?
What's that behind your back?
- It's just a socket set.
- Then why are you hiding it behind your back?
- I don't know, you scared me, just, see?
I'm just organizing my tools.
- This early in the morning?
Can I see what's inside the box?
- Why?
Since when are you interested in tools?
- I'm not, I just want to see what's inside the box.
- It's just a socket set, Kayla.
- Then you shouldn't have any trouble showing it to me.
- Why don't you just go back inside the house
and leave me alone?
- No, not until you show me what's in that box.
- I told you it was just a socket set.
I shouldn't have to show you what's in this box.
Let it go.
Let it go, let it go.
(glass breaking)
(dark music)
- What is that?
- What do you think it is?
- If I knew, I wouldn't have asked you.
Obviously it's some kind of drug.
What kind?
Answer me!
- It's heroine.
It's heroine.
- How long you been doing this?
- A long time.
- God, since before we met?
I can't believe you.
You kept this from me the entire time?
I don't even know who you are.
(ominous music)
- Kayla, wait!
What are you doing?
- What does it look like?
I'm leaving.
- Why?
We can work this out.
- Oh, you think it's that simple, huh John?
You kept this from me for the entire time I've known you.
How can I trust anything you say anymore?
I'm going to my mother's house.
- Kayla, how can I fix this?
(dark music)
Don't go.
(dark music)
Bye John.
(sad music)
(gentle music)
- No, no way.
(gentle music)
- [Mother] It's gonna be all right, Jasmine.
- How's it gonna be all right?
- You're gonna go to that clinic
and you're gonna take care of this.
- So you really think I should?
- I don't see that you have any other choice.
You're not ready to be a mother.
- Your mom's right.
You didn't ask for this
and you shouldn't be burdened with it.
- I don't know.
- How would you support it?
It's your only good option.
- [Charles] So when your wife walked out,
how did you process that?
- Anger,
self pity,
and honestly, I didn't want to take any of the blame for it.
I made excuses for myself and I blamed everyone else,
including her.
But
I couldn't deny that I wanted her back in my life.
- Was there any kind of a wake up call for you?
- No, quite the contrary, my friend.
I actually spiraled further out of control.
(ominous music)
- Hi John, this is Rick calling again.
I'm wondering why you didn't show up for work today.
You need to call me back ASAP.
Goodbye.
(ominous music)
Okay, alright.
I'll take care of it, yeah.
I got to go.
Come in.
John, close the door, have a seat.
So where were you yesterday?
- I was at home sick.
- Why didn't you give us a call?
- I guess I fell asleep
and I lost track of time.
- Well, you know that's no excuse John.
You know, you've got to give us a call
no matter what the reason.
Don't let this happen again.
- I won't.
- Alright.
You okay?
You don't look so good.
- I'm fine.
I'm alright.
- Okay.
Well then you can get back to work.
(dark piano music)
(phone buzzing) - Call from John Yessima.
Call from (phone buzzing)
Call from John Yessima.
(sighs)
(beeping)
- [Kayla] This is Kayla.
Sorry you missed me, leave me a message.
(beeping)
(sadd music)
- Gonna this weekend?
- Nope.
- John, is everything all right?
- Just had a rough couple of days, that's all.
- I'm sorry to hear that, man.
Is there anything I can do to help?
- There's nothing you can do for me, George.
- You want to talk about it?
- Nope.
- Well, if you ever change your mind,
I'd love to talk to you.
I've been through some rough things myself,
including some bad habits I had to overcome.
Maybe you can relate to my story in some way.
- What kind of bad habits did you have?
- You name it, man,
alcohol, cocaine, prescription drugs.
I was in really bad shape,
but the Lord came and rescued me when I was at my lowest.
So what about you?
Are you dealing with something like that?
- I don't want to talk about it.
- All right, I respect that.
Well if you decide you want to talk,
you know where to find me.
- Yeah.
(ominous music)
- [Male] John, you love your wife a lot, right?
(phone buzzing) - Call from John.
Call from John.
- Hi John.
- Hi, Kayla.
- What is it, John?
- I just want to talk.
- So talk.
- Well, how are you doing?
- How am I doing?
How do you think I'm doing?
I found out a couple of days ago
that my husband is a drug addict.
- Kayla, what can I do to say that I'm sorry?
- Stop using drugs.
- I will.
I promise.
- Yeah, I believe that when I see it.
- [John] I will quit.
- I don't trust you anymore, John.
You've lied to me.
- I know that I lied, but I'm not lying now.
- All of these years, you've lied to me.
- I will quit.
- Yeah, I heard all that before from my drunk dad.
- I'm not him.
I will quit.
Can I come over there and talk to you in person?
- No, I don't want to see you right now.
- When then?
- You stop using drugs and then we'll talk.
I got to go, bye.
- [John] Wait, don't hang...
(sad music)
(yelling)
(dramatic music)
- Hey Dave.
I'm gonna need you to deliver some more to my house.
I don't know, bring a bunch.
All right, see you soon.
(ominous music)
(snorting)
(ominous music)
(knocking)
- John you in there?
(knocking)
John, what's up, man?
You want this stuff or not?
(dark music)
John, are you here?
John?
Come on John, wake up, man.
(dark music)
(phone ringing)
(dramatic music)
(crying)
Is John in there?
I'm his mom.
- He's alive, but we need to leave
for the hospital right now, okay?
You're welcome to ride along, but we need to go now.
- I'm gonna ride with them.
Can you follow us?
- Yeah.
(dark music)
- I called Gabe and Kayla
and they're both on their way up here.
- How is he?
- He's stable.
He's lucky the paramedics got there when they did.
- How soon can we see him?
- Soon.
I'll come back out and let you know.
- Thank you, doctor.
- Thank you, appreciate it.
(machines beeping)
- [Gabe] Like I said, I'm glad he's fine in recovery.
I'm only saying you guys have to face the facts here,
John's a screw up and he's always gonna be a screw up.
- Keep your voice down.
He's right there.
- [Gabe] I don't care if he hears me.
John is not going to change.
The sooner you guys realize that,
the better off you're going to be.
(sad music)
- Morning, John.
- Morning.
- How are you feeling?
- Miserable.
How else should I be feeling?
So, where's everyone else?
- They're here.
- What, they don't want to come in and see me?
- No, they do and they will.
- What about Kayla?
Is she here?
- Yeah, she's here.
- And what about you?
- What about me?
- You come here here to lecture me?
- No.
- Then why are you the only one in here dad?
What do you want?
- Where do I begin?
I'm sorry, John.
- For what?
- I'm sorry for being an absent father to you.
My dad when I was younger was always too busy for me.
He was hardly around and I barely got to know him.
I promised myself when I had kids,
I wouldn't do that, but I did
and I have to own that.
I'm sorry.
So am asking can you forgive me
for all the times that I've been a lousy father to you?
Thank you.
I love you, John.
I hope you know that.
I'll send the others in.
(crying)
- Love you.
- I love you, John.
- See you later.
(phone ringing)
Hey Dave.
- [Dave] John, how's it going?
- Fine, what do you want?
- Come on, man.
Is that any way to talk to the friend who saved your life?
- So is that why you called?
- Well then, because we never got to make our deal.
- It's not gonna happen, man.
Ruined my marriage, it almost killed me.
- Well, you're fine now, aren't you?
What you think you're the only one who's ever overdosed?
Happens all the time
and people get right back on their feet.
- The answer's no, Dave.
Don't ever bring that stuff over here again, you got it?
- Come on, John.
- John, where you been the past couple days?
- Long story, George.
- I better warn you, Rick is really mad at you.
Don't look now but here he comes.
- Meet me in my office, John.
You and I need to talk.
- So what happened, man?
- What's it look like, man?
He fired me.
Nice knowing you, George.
- Well hey, it doesn't have to end like that.
Get a hold of me sometime.
I don't know, maybe we hang out
and get a burger or something.
- Yeah, maybe.
(ominous music)
(knocking)
- Come on, John, I know you're in there.
Come on, open the door.
(knocking)
- What do you want, Dave?
- I'm just stopping by to see how you're doing.
Come on, let me in.
What's going on man?
You don't got time for me anymore?
- All right, get to the point, Dave.
- Well, I thought you might like to see my new product.
- I told you not to bring that stuff over here.
- Sure, man but I know you better than that.
- Well you're just wasting your time anyway, man.
I just got fired from my job
so you won't be able to make much money off of me.
- That's okay because tonight it's on the house.
I thought you and I could do a line together
for old time's sake.
Man, I'm telling you,
this stuff is the best high you'll ever have.
Johnny, I thought maybe you'd like to have this back.
(ominous music)
I knew you'd come around.
(ominous music)
(gentle music)
- I'm worthless.
God, if you're really there,
show me.
(sad music)
- [George] Hi, John.
I hope you read this.
I slipped this into your lunch bag
while you were meeting with Rick.
My number is 248-555-0199.
I would like to meet up sometime and tell you my story.
Or if you just want to call and talk, that's fine too.
Your friend, George.
- Hi George.
I'm hanging in there.
I found the message that you left in my lunch bag.
Yeah.
Let's do that.
- So then I tell Rick,
for all I know he's climbing on Mount Everest right now.
So then he stares at me and doesn't even crack a smile.
Then he turns around and walks away.
All right, enough about work.
So what made you decide to meet with me for lunch
anyway, John?
- My life's a mess, man.
I feel hopeless.
I don't know what to do about that.
- I know that feeling.
I've been there.
- What did you do?
- Well, it took me a while to see it,
but eventually I realized I needed help.
I was getting nowhere on my own.
- So how did you get help?
- You remember when I told you
I was going through some rough things, right?
Can I tell you about it?
- Sure.
- All right.
Well, I grew up with a abusive drug dealer for a father.
And even though we despised him,
my brother and I followed his example.
But using and dealing drugs
eventually landed me in prison on a three year sentence.
Yeah, I was miserable.
And believe me at that time,
I wanted nothing to do with God,
but that didn't stop God from reaching out to me.
You see, there was this preacher there
and he would come to the prison every week
and share his testimony and hold Bible studies.
He would tell us how God changed him
and took him from being thief to a preacher.
Yeah, I was still skeptical,
but I saw joy and peace in this guy that I couldn't ignore.
So a few years later, I find myself a free man,
but I wasn't really free.
After being clean for a few weeks,
I went right back to using drugs.
I bounced from one job to another,
making a enough to survive and supply my drug habit.
Eventually I got evicted from my apartment.
So I stumbled my way over to this Christian run rehab clinic
and while I was there,
this Christian therapist befriended me.
He also told me how Jesus changed him.
And you know what?
I started to believe him.
And I realized Jesus could do the same for me.
He told me that I needed to make Jesus
the Lord and savior of my life and so I did.
And it's true,
Jesus has completely changed my life.
It didn't happen overnight, but it happened.
I am now a different person today and with God's help,
I made it through rehab and eventually stayed clean.
The Lord can help you too, John, and he wants to,
but he isn't gonna force his way into your life,
you have to let him in.
- Tell me more about this rehab place.
- They have an awesome staff there
that treat you with love and dignity
and they recognize their great value to God.
They want to see lives change through him.
They'll be a huge help to you, John.
Think about it.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- Hey Jasmine, I have some bad news.
Our car won't start.
- Please tell me you're joking.
- [Dad] No, I'm not.
- Of all the days,
your car chooses today to break down?
- I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe you could reschedule.
- No, no, I'm not rescheduling.
I want this done and over with.
I'll just catch the bus.
- Jasmine, your mother and I
really wanted to be there with you today.
- I know.
- We love you.
- Love you too.
Excuse me, do you mind if I sit right here, dear?
- Not at all, dear.
How far along are you?
- Excuse me?
- You're not showing very much, but trust me,
I know when someone's pregnant.
- I'm a little over four months.
- I always wondered what it would be like to have a child.
So you get to find out what it's like in five months,
assuming this is your first child.
Is this is your first child?
- You know, I really don't want to talk about this.
- Okay, I won't press you.
Where are you headed?
- Does it matter?
- You certainly don't have to tell me.
I'm just making conversation.
Do you want to know why I don't have any children?
I was pregnant once,
I was about your age.
I decided I didn't want the baby,
so I went to the clinic and I had an abortion.
Now I know God has forgiven me,
but I've never forgotten about it.
I wish I could take it back, but I can't.
I hope you don't make that same mistake.
Think about what I said before you go through with it.
(sad music)
- So what was it about George
that influenced you to go to rehab?
- George didn't seem like a former addict to me, you know?
He seemed so different
from the former life that he described to me.
So I concluded that it must have been rehab
that did that for him.
- But he did credit Jesus, right?
- Right and I didn't believe him.
- So here you are
ready to enter this Christian run rehab clinic.
What were your thoughts before you went in there?
- I kept trying to psych myself up,
telling myself if George could do it, I can do it.
- All right, gentlemen,
we have a copy of the schedule
posted out here in the hallway.
Breakfast is at seven, followed by morning meds.
Here's a list of classes,
as well as group and individual therapy sessions.
Now if you need anything at all,
you come find me or one of the other techs.
We'll be glad to assist you.
- All right.
- [Tech] See you around John.
It's good to meet you.
- You too.
- George, you're a good man.
Thank you.
- Ready?
I'll be praying for you, brother.
- Wow, this place brings back memories.
That's a good thing.
This is where everything turned around for me.
- Honestly, George,
I'm having second thoughts
about this whole rehab thing, man.
- You're gonna be fine, John.
I felt the same way when I first came in here.
You have my number.
You can call me anytime.
Believe me, John, I have your back
and the people in here, they're great.
They'll do whatever they can to help you.
(knocking)
- Come in.
Good afternoon, John.
Come on in and have a seat.
So how are you feeling today?
- How do you think I feel?
- I understand if you're not in a good mood, John.
There's nothing easy about detoxing from drugs.
But you're here, that's what counts.
But I have to ask, why did you decide to come here?
- I don't see any other way to get my life back.
- Tell me about that.
What have you lost in your life?
- Well, let's see my wife, my job, my health.
What haven't I lost?
- I'm sorry to hear that, John.
That's a lot to deal with.
Now I want to ask you some things about your family
if that's okay.
- Go ahead.
- Are you close with your parents or brother?
- No.
- How do you feel when you're around them?
- I don't know.
I mean, I'm not around 'em much, but when I am,
I want the visit to end as quickly as possible.
- I see.
And why is it you don't want to be around them?
- It's been a long time,
but I guess it all started
when I had a falling out with my parents as a teenager.
- Tell me about that.
- I remember I felt like they wanted to control me,
especially my dad.
- In what way did they control you?
- I don't know.
Stuff like making me go to church,
trying to keep me from my friends,
setting ridiculous curfews.
And they yelled at me all the time.
Do you think that actions were motivated out of concern
or did they just enjoy telling you what to do?
- Probably out of concern.
- Let's digress a little.
You were adopted, right?
- Yes.
- Have you ever met your biological mother or father?
- No.
- Have you wanted to?
- My birth mom, yes, but not my birth dad.
- Why not your birth dad?
- Because he raped my mom.
- I'm sorry to hear that, John.
I can tell that is a sensitive subject for you.
We don't have to talk about that right now
if you don't want to.
- I never talked to anyone about that
other than my parents.
- Well, I'm here to help John, if you want to talk about it,
- I don't even know where to begin with that.
- Well, how old were you
when you found out about the assault?
- I'll never forget that day.
It was right after my 15th birthday.
- What were you feeling when you first found out about it?
- Uh, confused, angry.
Up until that point,
I barely knew anything about my birth mom
and nothing about my birth dad.
I used to wonder about him
But after that, I hated him.
I always used to ask myself why my birth mom gave me up.
But suddenly it all made sense to me.
It made me feel worthless,
like I was a big mistake.
- You're not a mistake, John.
And you're not your father.
You've been created in the image of God
and he loves you and values you
regardless of where you came from.
I really hope that you'll come to accept that.
- Yeah, me too.
- Gabe.
- John.
- All right, well,
I want to thank the three of you for coming in here
to join John and have this talk as a family.
John, I want to start
by asking you to share your thoughts with your family
about why you're here.
- Well,
my life is a mess and
I needed to do something about that.
So I'm here
and I hope that you guys will support me.
- Of course, we'll support you John.
- And we're 100% behind you.
- Yeah, I mean, we're all here for you, man.
- Now, I want each of you to take turns
expressing how you feel towards John
and how you would like
to see your relationship improve with him
and as a family.
Gabe, let's start with you.
- Well, it's good you're getting help.
So how do I feel toward you?
I guess I feel distant,
that's all I can think of.
Would you like to expound on that a little, Gabe?
Why do you feel distant from John?
- I used to look up to you when I was younger,
but then one day you up and left
and it's like you wanted nothing else to do with me
after that.
Why man?
Why did you disown us?
What did we do to drive you away?
Or was it that you cared more about drugs
than you cared about us?
What, you're not going to answer me?
- [Mother] Gabe.
- Well, why isn't he answering me?
What did we do to drive you away?
- You didn't do anything.
None of you did.
I just stopped caring about everything.
- You stopped caring about everything,
including your family?
So where do we stand with you now, John?
- Let's try to keep our tone constructive.
- I asked him a simple question.
- I know you're angry
but let's try to keep a civil tone.
- You know what?
This whole thing is stupid.
I don't even know why I'm here.
- Gabe.
- [Gabe] This isn't helping anything.
- I'll go talk to him.
- You know, he's right about me.
What he said back at the hospital,
I'm a worthless screw up.
No dad, I am.
I don't even know why the two of you would stick around.
- John, we may not approve of everything you do,
but we love you
and nothing's going to change that.
We'll never give up on you.
(sad music)
(inspiring music)
(knocking)
- Come in.
- John, my friend, ready to grab some lunch?
- Yeah, I'm ready.
- Hey, you've been reading the Bible?
- Yeah.
- Well that's great.
What are you reading right now?
- John Chapter 10.
- I'm very familiar with that chapter.
You have any thoughts on it?
- Well, verse 10 really stood out to me.
I've been sitting here thinking about it.
- That's a great verse.
"The thief come not but for to steal, kill and to destroy.
I am come that they might have life
and that they might have it more abundantly."
- Yeah.
What does Jesus mean by more abundant life?
- I believe he means that in him
he wants us to live a thriving life,
one full of joy and purpose.
Anybody breathing can live a life,
but in Jesus that life could mean so much more.
Take it from me, John, I lived both.
And thank God I don't have to go back to where I was.
- John, can't you see it?
God has been reaching out to you left and right.
I mean look at your parents.
They loved you unconditionally
and have stood by your side
with everything they've been through with you.
That's because of God in their lives.
And look at George.
How God's been working through him to reach out to you.
These are not the coincidences.
John, what are you waiting for?
- Why?
Why has God been trying to reach out to me?
I've done nothing good in my life.
- He loves you, John.
He always has and always will.
- What do I do now?
- Let him in.
Let Jesus in as Lord and savior.
- Okay, Adam, we will see you in six months.
- Thanks, have a good day.
- You too.
- I have a delivery for our Kayla Gessler.
- That's me.
- You, sign here.
Thank you.
Have a great day.
- You too.
- So who are they from?
- There's not a name, but it's a poem.
"I don't deserve you Kayla, this is true,
but that doesn't stop me from loving you.
If you love the flowers,
there's more to bloom.
Come out of the office,
I'm in the next room."
- [Dentist] Who's out there Kayla?
- I have no idea.
(gentle music)
- Hi Kayla.
- Hey.
- Join me for dinner tonight?
I made reservations at your favorite restaurant.
- You did, huh?
Why should I join you?
- Kayla, I am so, so sorry that I hurt you.
And if I could take it all back, I would.
All I'm asking
is for you to let me try and earn your trust back.
- Wow.
You seem different.
- Come to dinner with me and I'll tell you all about it.
- Okay, I'll join you.
What time?
- As soon as you're done here.
I'll be right here sitting right there,
not going anywhere.
- Okay.
Oh by the way, you look good, John.
- Kayla, you look as beautiful as ever.
(gentle music)
(knocking)
(ominous music)
(sad music)
- Hello, read this please before you make your choice.
(heartbeat pounding) (sad music)
- Laura Reel.
(sad music)
- [Mother] You're not ready to be a mother.
- [Father] How are you gonna support it?
It's your only good option.
- [Female] Read this please, before you make your choice.
- [Female] Think about what I said
before you go through with it.
- Bless you.
You know, if you like, we can help you at our center.
We have resources and counselors available.
Don't hesitate to call us
if there's anything we can do for you, okay?
- So what was it like
to take your first steps as a new believer?
- It felt great.
God was opening my eyes
to all kinds of things that I hadn't seen.
It was tough in many ways.
I had hurt a lot of people,
especially my family,
and I had a lot of relationships to try to repair,
but my family could see
that I was seriously trying to kick my addiction
and my parents,
they demonstrated what unconditional love was like.
- How 'bout the rest of your family?
- Kayla and Gabe were more of a challenge.
With Gabe, it took a long time
before we could really open up to each other.
- And how about Kayla?
How did you patch things up with her?
- She struggled with letting go
of the past wounds that I had caused her
and my ongoing battle with drugs didn't help matters,
but God,
but God definitely helped me.
And she could see my growth with my walk with the Lord.
I can joyfully report that Kayla has now accepted Christ
and our relationship is healthier having him at the center.
- Amazing.
God certainly makes a better captain
of our lives and relationships than we can.
Speaking of which,
how did you eventually surrender your drug addiction to him?
- I wish that rehab had cured me the first time,
but I ended up going back twice
and every time I got out,
my good old friend, Dave was there to offer me freebies.
- How did you eventually deal with Dave?
- Well, I needed help 24/7.
So after I got out that third time,
I wasn't left alone
and Dave never found another opportunity to come around.
- So here you are,
off of drugs growing in your relationship with the Lord,
how did you eventually sense God's calling
to write your book?
- Well, I started writing
just to put my thoughts down on paper
and then after I prayed and reached out to God about it,
I felt like he wanted me to write my own story.
I had no idea what would come of it,
but I trusted his lead and I started writing.
- So what's come of it?
- I released it
on the fourth year anniversary of my sobriety
and God no doubt has opened up many doors because of that.
And invitations flowed
to speak to various groups about the book and about my life.
Thank you for coming to hear me tonight
and please know that I'm here for you guys.
If you want to talk or need to pray, just let me know.
(audience applauding)
Thank you.
Do any of you have any questions?
Yes?
- How long did it take
before you cravings completely went away?
- I don't have a clear cut answer for that one.
Truth is I can't let my guard down even till this day.
Is it a struggle like it used to be?
No.
But I have to be careful
not to place myself in any situations
where I can find myself tempted.
Yes?
(knocking)
- Hi John.
- Hey mom, happy mother's day.
- Thank you.
- Happy mother's day.
- Thank you, Kayla.
They're beautiful.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
(timer dinging)
- Oh, that's the timer.
I have to go check on the chicken.
Come on in, make yourselves at home.
Your dad and Gabe
are watching the baseball game in the family room.
- I'm on it.
- So is there anything I can help you with?
- What's up guys?
- Hey John.
Good to see you.
- Good to see you too, old man.
- Hey bro.
- What's up, bro?
How you doing man?
- Good.
- So how'd your speaking engagement
go with the kids?
- I think it went good.
I got a lot of great questions afterwards
and I trust that God will touch their hearts
with some of what I said.
- I'm sure he will.
- God does say his word will do
what it set out to accomplish.
You planted that seed.
- Thanks guys.
So who's winning?
- The Tigers are up one nothing.
- All right.
- Where you going?
- I'm going to visit Dave today, remember?
- Oh, okay.
- What?
- I was just thinking, why do you keep visiting that guy?
It sounds like he doesn't want anything to do with you.
- I know, but I don't want to give up on him.
- Well, you do what you need to do.
- Well, I'll be back in a little while.
- Okay.
- Love you. - I love you, too.
(buzzing)
- Hi Dave.
- John.
- How you doing?
- I'm still here.
- So you finding activities to do?
- Why do you come here John?
- Well I told you.
- I know he had told me.
Why do you still consider me a friend?
- Let me tell you about this person that I know.
He had a hard heart.
He didn't care about the people around him,
didn't even care about himself,
but then there was someone
that saw something of value in him
and he reached out to him with unconditional love.
That person, he now knows that he's valued,
he now knows that he's forgiven.
- Okay, what does that mean?
Who are you talking about?
- Me.
I'm talking about me, Dave.
God reached out to me and he changed me
and he changed my heart towards you.
So I guess the bottom line is
whether what I'm saying to you makes sense or not,
I still want to be your friend.
- I've been playing basketball.
- What?
- You asked me about activities,
I've been playing basketball.
- Great, that's great, man.
Are you playing by yourself or playing with other guys?
- I don't shoot hoops by myself like some loser, no man,
I play two on two with a couple of guys.
- That's awesome, man.
That's progress, right?
- It's all right.
(gentle music)
- You have an amazing story, John.
But it's not over yet.
You had a very interesting evening recently.
Care to give us some details?
- Absolutely.
I'll take one more question.
Yes sir?
- Yeah, do any of the proceeds of your book go to charity?
- That's a great question.
Thank you for asking that.
I donate to several charities,
including 10% of the profits
to Victorious Living Rehab Center.
As I shared earlier,
that's where I eventually got clean
and where I came to know the Lord.
Well folks, we're going to have to wrap things up here.
I want to thank each and every one of you
for allowing me to come and speak to you tonight.
Be safe and God bless you.
(audience applause)
(gentle music)
(woman screaming)
(ominous music)
(woman screaming)
Lord, help me.
(ominous music)
(woman screaming)
Hey, leave her alone.
(ominous music)
Just walk away, man,
no one has to get hurt here.
(ominous music)
- [Male] Should've mind your business.
(ominous music)
What's that?
What's that, come on.
Come on, boy.
(dramatic music)
(grunting)
- [Therapist] You're not a mistake John
and you're not your father.
(gentle music)
(sirens blaring)
(gentle music)
- Oh, come on let's go get some treats.
Come on.
- [Male] And for other birds migrating south
to stop and rest in safety.
One of the main migratory birds
that marsh is known for is the redhead duck.
- Through your mind
as you ran to save that woman in distress
and came face to face with her attacker?
- Honestly, I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
I kept thinking and praying to God
the whole time to help me.
Then, the attacker got violent with me
so my mind just went into survival mode
and I did my best to defend her and myself at that point.
It was just by the grace of God that we made it.
- Well, we're glad that you're both safe.
- Thank you, Robin.
(inspiring music)
- Oh God.
- [Charles] I have one final question to ask you.
- Okay.
- It's about your birth mother.
Have you ever thought about tracking her down
and meeting her?
- I have.
I thought about it a lot growing up.
Life issues and my bad choices distracted me,
but I haven't determined how or when I would actually do it.
- Do you have any leads on how to find her?
- No, not much.
I know very little about her.
- If you don't mind me asking,
what would you say to her if you did find her?
- I'd let her know
that I'm grateful that she gave me life
and I hope to get to know her.
(crying)
- I hope you get that opportunity, John.
- Thanks.
- [Charles] Thank you so much for joining us
on Foundations of the Family.
- [John] Thank you Charles, for having me.
- John.
(dramatic music)
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To roll the clouds away ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To give me day by day ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ All along the way ♪
♪ It's just like his great love ♪
(clears throat)
- I once thought of life
as having no meaning or purpose.
We live, we die,
and nothing in between really matters.
But I now know that life is so much more than that.
Yes, life is a journey full of ups and downs,
joys, heartaches,
struggles, victories,
but in the midst of all that, there is meaning and purpose
and there's a God out there who wants us to know him
and that purpose for which he created us.
He wants us to know how greatly valued we really are,
so much so that he sent his only son to die for us.
So considering our value to God,
I've come to this conclusion,
a life is worth giving birth to,
worth spending time with,
worth loving unconditionally,
worth taking a risk for.
A life is worth living.
And I can now say, by God's grace,
I'm living well.
(inspiring music) (audience applause)
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To roll the clouds away ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To keep me day by day ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ All along the way ♪
♪ It's just like his great love ♪
♪ A friend I have called Jesus ♪
♪ Who's love is strong and true ♪
♪ Oh, he never, never fails however tried ♪
♪ No matter what I do ♪
♪ Oh this love of his ♪
♪ But when the nails to pray ♪
♪ Confessing all my guilt to him ♪
♪ The sins are thrown away ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To roll the clouds away ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To give me day by day ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ All along the way ♪
♪ It's just like his great love ♪
♪ When sorrows clouds overtake me ♪
♪ Break upon my head ♪
♪ When life seems worse than useless ♪
♪ And I will better days ♪
♪ I take my grief to Jesus ♪
♪ Then nor do I go in grace ♪
♪ For heavenly, heavenly joy ♪
♪ We kiss the tears ♪
♪ Like sunshine after rain ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To roll the clouds away ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ To keep me day by day ♪
♪ It's just like Jesus ♪
♪ All along the way ♪
♪ It's just like his great love ♪
♪ It's just like his great ♪
♪ Love ♪