1 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:07,379 This is today. 2 00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,925 Your current approval rating is 91 percent, 3 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,220 higher than Michelle Obama, 4 00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:13,972 Oprah, golden retriever puppies, and orgasms. 5 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:16,215 Who are these insane nine percent of people 6 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,767 who don't like those things? 7 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,061 Some people just like to watch the world burn. 8 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,805 I mean, Lyndon LaRouche got votes in the '92 presidential campaign, 9 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,187 and he was running from jail. 10 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:27,194 All I know is that JFK had to get shot to pull these numbers. 11 00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:31,317 My mother said that she had an affair with JFK at the Mayflower Hotel, 12 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,946 but she was a habitual liar. 13 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:37,288 My son has wanted to be in politics since he was a child. 14 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,200 I know. 15 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,958 I actually worked for his competition 16 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,380 on the Saint Sebastian student body president campaign. 17 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,499 He's the one who recommended me to you for this job. 18 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,464 Oh, yes. Forgive me, sweetheart. 19 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,796 I have a thing where I forget young people. 20 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,922 It's a tic I have. 21 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,758 I never understood the draw of politics. 22 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,095 It's so transactional. 23 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,680 So much work to get support from people whom you don't even respect. 24 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:00,894 But I understand it now. 25 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:06,355 There are jobs that feed the ego, and there are jobs that make a difference. 26 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,443 Politics does both. 27 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,453 It's vanity without the bitter aftertaste. 28 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,566 I would strike while the iron's hot 29 00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:17,536 and come up with some normally impossible-to-accomplish policy proposals. 30 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,332 Voters would follow you into battle 31 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,662 or even give up chocolate for you at this point. 32 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,118 But that doesn't sound fun. 33 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,833 How about 34 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,588 we bury all of the power lines to prevent wildfires? 35 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:29,961 No. 36 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,928 - Okay, no. Something more bold. - Yeah. 37 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:32,928 Um... 38 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:36,139 How about we ban plastic from the state of California? 39 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,391 Checkpoints at every border crossing. 40 00:01:38,473 --> 00:01:43,063 The Great Pacific Plastic Garbage Patch is over 80,000 tons and growing. 41 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:46,484 I refuse to let the future independent nation of California 42 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,234 - contribute even one ounce. - Mmm. 43 00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:50,276 - Ah, ma'am, your ice bath is ready. - Oh! 44 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,360 Excellent. 45 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:52,781 I will not be satisfied 46 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,322 until that approval rating reaches 100 percent. 47 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:57,776 I can't see what could get in your way, ma'am. 48 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:15,717 Mrs. McCutcheon, you're awake. 49 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,302 How long have I been here? 50 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,717 You've been in a coma for almost three years. 51 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,428 We need to call the doctors. 52 00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:23,096 No, you need to call the press. 53 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,061 But first, I'm gonna need hair and makeup. 54 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,725 Do you want us to contact your husband? 55 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,113 No. No. 56 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,989 That dickwad can hear what I have to say with the rest of the world. 57 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:08,370 Anyone see you? 58 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,254 Not yet. If you don't open the door, they will. 59 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,333 Okay. 60 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,668 I have something. It's good. I don't know how good, 61 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,255 - but good. - Okay. 62 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,362 - All right. Lay it on me. - "Lay it on me"? Who are you? 63 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,426 Just, what is it? 64 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,182 Okay, so Dede's ahead, right? 65 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,394 So, there's basically nothing for me to do over there. 66 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,314 I mean, there's nothing for anyone to do. 67 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,813 And you know I'm a woman, right? 68 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,435 - Yes. - Like, you know 69 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,681 I have a woman's intuition, how that's an actual thing? 70 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,355 Okay, so there's something up with Hadassah. 71 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,942 At first, I was like, no, she's happy 72 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,867 because she's going to win, but then I realized 73 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,164 no, she's different. 74 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,532 Frappuccino, Sherry. 75 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:48,411 - I'll take that if you don't want it. - No! She put something in it. 76 00:04:48,496 --> 00:04:49,976 She used to just bark at me. 77 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:50,869 Hey! 78 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,197 And then suddenly, she seemed to almost like me. 79 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,375 McAfee, come in here. 80 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,843 Do you know anything about spicy lube? 81 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,717 I'm sorry, what? 82 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,392 You know, like for... intercourse? 83 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,601 Do you mean warming lube? 84 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,034 Because I'm pretty sure spicy wouldn't feel good down there. 85 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,228 Yeah! Yeah, that's it. 86 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,400 Where it's tingly for him and her. 87 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,808 - Have you ever tried it? - No. 88 00:05:13,896 --> 00:05:15,226 But I've seen it at the store. 89 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,775 Oh, great. I need you to go get me some. But don't bring it back here, okay? 90 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,900 Bring it to my place and leave it with the doorman. 91 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,627 No, don't. Don't, don't, don't. He'll look inside. Tell you what 92 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,664 just leave it in the nightstand, next to my bed. 93 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,413 Right side, top drawer. Got it? 94 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,456 - Sure. - And don't tell anyone 95 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:33,960 you got me spicy lube, got it? 96 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,292 - Got it. - Okay. 97 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,376 Good. Go! 98 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,094 We're gonna call this... 99 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,472 "Operation... 100 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,588 Spicy Lube." 101 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,216 - Hello? - So, she's obviously 102 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,555 having sex with someone, right? 103 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:50,269 And I'm dying to find out who it is. 104 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,310 Not even for the campaign, just for, like, myself. 105 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,483 I was fascinated. 106 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,612 So she's got this closet, right? 107 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,808 So many shoes. 108 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,228 Like, so many. 109 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,597 It's like she went to Bergdorf's and bought out the place. 110 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,891 No way she's worn half of them. 111 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,784 - I don't care about the shoes. - Fine. 112 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,073 Then I saw that half of her closet is formal wear, 113 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,277 stuff that she's probably touched once a month. 114 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,288 And I knew she didn't have an event that night. 115 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,450 You didn't. 116 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,080 I did. 117 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,088 All right. 118 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,343 What have we got here? Let's see, let's see. 119 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,420 Okay. 120 00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:23,548 Oh, it's your lucky night, baby girl. 121 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,113 So she got back around 9:00, 122 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,346 and she picked out this sexy little number. 123 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,928 She talked to herself the whole time, 124 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,353 and then at around 9:30, he shows up. 125 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:32,682 Who? 126 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:33,809 William. 127 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,939 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 128 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,360 Threesome William? 129 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,398 The spicy lube, both of them loved it. 130 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,943 Like, really loved it. 131 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,421 Like, it seemed so effective that I might consider trying it. 132 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,445 In fact, I'm going to. 133 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,968 Stop talking about the lube. Hold up. 134 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,621 You just, what? You stayed all night? 135 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,819 Just until they fell asleep. 136 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,107 They're both crazy snorers, so I knew they wouldn't hear. 137 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,347 - Good night. - Doorman saw me, 138 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,581 but he didn't think anything of it. It was, like, 10:30. 139 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,285 I called you, then I came straight here. 140 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,245 I mean, I don't know if this wins us the race, 141 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,625 but if we leak the whole throuple thing is a sham, 142 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:02,842 I mean, that's so weird. 143 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,802 That's, like, a crazy lie for her to tell. 144 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,182 And like it or not, voters don't tolerate a woman 145 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,430 whom they perceive as a liar. 146 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,761 They'll accept it from a man, 147 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,176 but I think it makes Dede look underhanded and craven. 148 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,135 It destroys her whole "older women are sexy" thing. 149 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,306 I mean, she's gonna have to explain what's going on. 150 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,225 I think she loses ten points 151 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:21,483 and still wins, but by 15 instead of 25. 152 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,526 And suddenly, you're set up for the next campaign. 153 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,609 No, this is big. 154 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,108 This could push her out of the race. 155 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,696 This is exactly what we needed! 156 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,700 This is our Hail Mary. 157 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,242 Okay. 158 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,453 I'm getting dressed. I know what the next move is. 159 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,544 You have a second? 160 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:38,915 Get in here. 161 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:41,751 You 162 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,133 - have got to try it. - What? 163 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,674 The spicy lube. It's 164 00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:51,298 oh, boy! Spicy. 165 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,637 Yeah, I just wanted to tell you 166 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,482 I was at the front desk, and some guy called, 167 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,075 William, I think he said. Um, he said he was trying to reach you, 168 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,287 - but his phone was dying. - Oh! 169 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,441 Said it was urgent. Something about a proposal? 170 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,521 What? 171 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,978 - A proposal? - Yeah. I don't know what it would be. 172 00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:06,936 Um, maybe he's an outside contractor for the campaign. 173 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,278 Anyway, he's at Balthazar. 174 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,362 Okay, I'll be back. 175 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,164 Hadassah! 176 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,292 Hi! 177 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,838 - What are you doing here? - Just sit. I'll explain. 178 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:32,505 So, here's what's going on. 179 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,005 You and Dede are lying. 180 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,262 There is no throuple 181 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,308 because you're in a relationship with William, who clearly is not here now. 182 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,058 You son of a bitch. 183 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,355 So, we have some options. 184 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,808 I could go to The New York Times. 185 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:47,358 It's splashed across the front pages the last few days of the election. 186 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,743 Dede wins, but not by much. 187 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,069 She loses the VP slot, 188 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:51,704 and I live to see another campaign. 189 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,241 - Oh, you slimy little... - Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:56,294 Or you could get her to pull out. 191 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,847 Right? She can't be all that jazzed about yet another two years 192 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,291 as "majority leader," you know? 193 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,693 And she keeps her VP hopes alive. 194 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,789 You arrogant little prick. 195 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,499 Just hang on one second. There's also you personally. 196 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,880 I really think it's you that's in the most danger. 197 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,802 Dede Standish's sloppy seconds? 198 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,860 Not a good look. And whatever she does decide to do, 199 00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,684 it's not like she can take you along with her. 200 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,261 Your career will be... over. 201 00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,806 You hateful, double-dealing little futz. 202 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,310 Yep, yep, yep. Just one more thing. 203 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,102 So it's Friday now. Uh, the election is Tuesday. 204 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:25,483 So you have 12 hours, and then I will go to the press. 205 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,402 Oh, you can go now. 206 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:35,161 - You know what? - Mmm? 207 00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:39,081 Four days left. Dede is so far ahead, 208 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,911 she drops out today, she still wins. 209 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,998 Candidates who die before election day have been known to win. 210 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,544 Yeah, but think about it. 211 00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:50,417 You know, your voters, no offense, they skew a little bit older, right? 212 00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:53,343 And she made such a thing of this throuple, 213 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,846 this sexual, powerful woman of a certain age. 214 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,928 I'm sure it caused many a conversation over dinner, 215 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:01,604 probably even caused some people to express very strong opinions about it 216 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,444 to their spouses, to their friends. 217 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,110 So for that to now be exposed as a lie, 218 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:10,779 as a weird political ploy... 219 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,317 I think a lot of her voters stay home on Tuesday. 220 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,586 Wouldn't you say? 221 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,195 You're good. 222 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,156 I give you that. 223 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,306 You're going places. 224 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,984 - I even admire you a little bit. - Now get out. 225 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,543 But you forgot one thing. 226 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:30,879 What is that? 227 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:33,132 I'm not telling you. 228 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,553 Run your story. 229 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,675 I don't give a shit. 230 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,135 Thank you for suggesting we take a walk. 231 00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,017 Nothing works better to clear the mind. 232 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,647 I think it was, um, Henry David Thoreau who said... 233 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,443 I'm pregnant. 234 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,206 Okay, no. I don't think he ever said that. 235 00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:55,606 Not Thoreau. Me. 236 00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:58,115 Your child grows in my womb. 237 00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,294 Okay. Okay, okay. The suddenness of this news 238 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,533 has made me numb to any feelings about it, good or bad. 239 00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:10,503 So, while my emotions recover, 240 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,876 let's just discuss how exactly this happened. 241 00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:15,093 I mean, we always use condoms. 242 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,344 Not always. 243 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,969 As you know, I meditate every morning before getting out of bed. 244 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,014 It calms and energizes me for the day, 245 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,768 but it also creates a oneness with my reproductive system 246 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,770 that allows me to know the days when I'm fertile. 247 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:30,271 The days when I'm sure it's safe are the days when I allow you to enter me 248 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,356 without protection. 249 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,358 Usually. 250 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,863 This month, I may have been 251 00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,275 less cautious than usual. 252 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,656 Why? 253 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:40,865 I don't know. 254 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,448 I think it's possible that I've 255 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,746 subconsciously been feeling jealous of Astrid. 256 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:56,335 Perhaps on that day, I was feeling particularly needy 257 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,934 to have something that she's never had with you 258 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,175 the closeness of unprotected sex. 259 00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:03,966 I know I made you withdraw, 260 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,636 but apparently, you were a little late. 261 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,770 But it's all right. I've thought it all through. 262 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,896 - What do you mean? - First of all, 263 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,860 abortion is a political liability. 264 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,400 Not in true blue New York, 265 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,993 but in a national campaign, it's dangerous. 266 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:17,949 Mmm. 267 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:21,408 What always works, however, locally and nationally, 268 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:25,620 is the joy of a young, attractive family. 269 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,163 - JFK, the Obamas. - Mmm. 270 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,327 We should tell no one, 271 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,615 not even our team. 272 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,418 Then the night before the election, we should announce the pregnancy 273 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,712 and our engagement, 274 00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:37,261 simultaneously. 275 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:41,547 Contrast our youth and fertility with Dede's menopausal campaign. 276 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:44,554 You're right. 277 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,811 You're right. This is good. 278 00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,713 Wait, we... we haven't even discussed how we feel about it. 279 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,363 This is great. 280 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,365 I'm really happy. 281 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:07,867 Me too. 282 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,552 I'll need to go shopping to buy new clothes 283 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,582 to accentuate my baby bump. 284 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:17,127 And I'm setting a meeting to break it off with Astrid. 285 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:20,263 Engaged, pregnant couples don't have threesomes unless they work in music. 286 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,223 - Mmm. - Mmm. 287 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:25,969 Wow. 288 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:28,385 - Names. What do you think? - Well... 289 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,564 - I was thinking John or Payton Junior... - Well... 290 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,393 - Payton Junior. Mmm. - For a boy. 291 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,768 Oh, my God! Oh, that's unbelievable. 292 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,395 - I feel like I'm 25 again. - I... I. 293 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,993 I... I... Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. 294 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,989 - I can't believe it. - Oh... 295 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,281 Suddenly, this marriage makes sense again. 296 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:47,405 - Mmm... - I love you, Dede. 297 00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,038 - Happy to be of service. - Oh! 298 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,870 Happy to be served. 299 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,003 This... This is... unbelievable. 300 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,666 I don't miss William at all. 301 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:04,045 I get to be the filling in the ice cream sandwich again. 302 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,931 Who wants a drink? 303 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:11,475 - I do. - Okay. 304 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,389 - Yes? Okay. - Me too. 305 00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,557 You are fine. 306 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:20,727 But are you fine signing the NDA, right? 307 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,858 - 'Cause this... - He 308 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,445 - cannot get out. - Yeah. 309 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,450 - Absolutely. - Oh. Ahh... 310 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:29,033 Ahh... 311 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,873 I can't believe this. 312 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:36,132 I... It was just so organic. 313 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:40,378 And you were making eyes at us across the restaurant. 314 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,673 Well, I knew from the news that you two were a little kinky, so... 315 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,337 - Oh... - I just came over. 316 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:48,261 You know, 317 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,346 this needs to be a thing, 318 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,521 - but not just a one-time thing. - Mmm. 319 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,351 - Here, here. - Yeah. 320 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,152 You're not going anywhere. 321 00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,610 Mmm... 322 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,110 Oh! 323 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,902 - God! Here. Hold that, sweetheart. - Yeah, sure. Got it. 324 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,572 Oh. 325 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,615 Yeah? 326 00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,994 Wait, just s... slow down. 327 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,906 I can't understand you. 328 00:15:13,537 --> 00:15:16,077 Oh... Okay, we'll... we'll be right there. 329 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,078 It's Hadassah. She's freaking out. 330 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,788 - About what? - I don't know. 331 00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,092 - We'll find out. - Here. 332 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,672 In a while. 333 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,352 I can't believe it! So he knows everything. 334 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,258 It's all my fault. 335 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,386 I should've picked up the spicy lube on my way home. 336 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,071 I'm across the street from a Duane Reade! 337 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,981 No, I blame the both of you. 338 00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,100 The three of us were fine. 339 00:15:37,144 --> 00:15:38,404 We were together, happy, 340 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,269 and on our way to the fucking White House! 341 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,106 I'll resign. I'll hold a press conference, admit I had an affair, 342 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,612 say you knew nothing about it. Dede can play the victim, 343 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:48,574 I'll be the bad guy. And my career will be over. 344 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,026 No! Hold on. 345 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,155 Listen, these past couple of weeks, they've been a real emotional whirlwind. 346 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:56,713 Am I expected to... what? Just... Just be a part of the throuple again, or…? 347 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:01,705 Uh, well, I don't quite know 348 00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,804 - how to put this... - We found someone else. 349 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,671 - What?! - Jesus Christ, are you serious? 350 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,427 How could you do that to me? 351 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,639 Oh, so now we're the bad guys. 352 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,049 You dumped us, William! 353 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,641 - This is sick! We're all sick! - No... 354 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,893 I used to be a nice Jewish girl from Paramus. 355 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:17,976 Now I'm part of this? 356 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,980 This isn't even a love triangle. 357 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,862 It's like a... a sex pentagram! 358 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,069 Okay, everybody, calm down! 359 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:30,033 First of all, it's not gross to be over 50 360 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:32,124 - and still have sexual urges. - Mmm. 361 00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,869 You keep saying that like we were 51 or something. 362 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,162 We're way over 50, Dede. 363 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,826 - Maybe it is gross. - Just stop it. I'm still the boss. 364 00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,205 I don't want you to resign. 365 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:42,211 I don't accept that. 366 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,132 What else can we do, Dede? Come on. 367 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,011 Someone's gotta fall on a sword here to win this race 368 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,339 and get Tino to say yes. 369 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,819 I... I understand, um, 370 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,813 but I... I'm not gonna decide on that tonight. 371 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:56,468 I wanna sleep on it. 372 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:57,604 Mmm. 373 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,893 What? What is it? 374 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,690 Mary! 375 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,271 - Mary! - Mary! Mary! 376 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,896 Mary McCutcheon woke up. 377 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,903 Thank you for coming. 378 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:11,855 My name is Mary Moskowitz McCutcheon, 379 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,161 wife of Senator Tino McCutcheon. 380 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,872 And as I'm sure you all know, 381 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,622 I have spent the last several years in a coma, 382 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:23,785 following the side effects of a severe case of trichinosis. 383 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,626 And... let me just take a moment to say 384 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,422 to all the children of the world, 385 00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:33,045 never accept a pulled pork taco from someone you don't know. 386 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,762 Now, as you can see, I am now recovered. 387 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:41,597 And based on the things that I heard Tino say to me and to others, 388 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:44,765 I am filing for divorce. 389 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:47,935 From the very first days of my incapacitation, 390 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,902 Tino McCutcheon repeatedly asked the hospital staff 391 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,567 if, were they to pull the plug, 392 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:58,239 exactly which plug would it be? 393 00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:00,999 And then, as it became clear 394 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,960 that my hospitalization would be long and the outcome uncertain, 395 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:09,672 my husband took to whispering things in my ear, like... 396 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,915 Really go to sleep, sweetheart. 397 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:14,467 This is costing an arm and a leg, you know. 398 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,721 Walk into the light, Mary. 399 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:17,644 Come on. 400 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:21,231 After his successful Senate campaign, 401 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,938 Tino took to telling me... 402 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,598 I mean Senate, it's boring as shit, 403 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,897 but two years from now, I'm running for president, 404 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,281 so, if you wouldn't mind 405 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,901 moving this process along. 406 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,236 And most recently, 407 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:39,411 my husband took to describing his sexual conquests 408 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:43,253 with a one Georgina Hobart. 409 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,670 I mean, that ass, 410 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,504 it just hangs there, 411 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,503 all perky like gravity doesn't affect it or something. 412 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:52,417 And the sex is just 413 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,215 oh, it's just head and shoulders above you, darling. 414 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:59,219 You used to kind of just 415 00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,679 lay on me. 416 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:03,515 I didn't think about it much at the time, 417 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,270 but now I'm like, you just weren't good at sex. 418 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:08,975 I'm actually kinda 419 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,324 "pissed about it." 420 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:11,439 End quote. 421 00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,279 To the people of Texas, 422 00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:17,661 to my fellow citizens all across this land, 423 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:19,239 you should be afraid. 424 00:19:19,783 --> 00:19:21,703 Tino McCutcheon is a monster, 425 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,624 and he is dangerous. 426 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,075 I fear for the future of this country. 427 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,876 - What the fuck? - He wanted her to die. 428 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,209 Oh. Oh, wow. 429 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,457 Mmm, yeah, this... this is a problem. 430 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,667 A problem? 431 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,586 Dede, this is like a four-alarm dumpster fire, 432 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:38,675 but the only thing in the dumpster is manure! 433 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,350 - How do you mean? - What? Are you high? 434 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,430 This is two kinds of horrible! 435 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,345 Number one, our campaign is, and I'm putting this delicately, 436 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,755 not exactly where we wanted to be 437 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,411 - four days out, and number two... - But. 438 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:52,229 Tino is a monster who's shtupping Georgina Hobart! 439 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,226 - So? - So? 440 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:57,358 So, she's a younger woman running for office, likely to win. 441 00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,026 It's obvious he's grooming her! 442 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:00,124 He's gonna pick her! 443 00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,529 Not necessarily. 444 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,118 He's not dead yet, 445 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,253 and particularly if she's on his side, 446 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:10,500 she's the most Teflon candidate I've ever seen. 447 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:13,633 If anybody can drag him out of this, 448 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:15,264 - it's her. - Oh, Dede... 449 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,234 - Dede... Please, Dede. - As you just heard, Carter, 450 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,298 the senator is alleged to have claimed 451 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,635 that intercourse with Georgina Hobart was, 452 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,601 quote, "Head and shoulders above you, darling," 453 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:29,766 and that he is, again I'm quoting, "actually kind of pissed about it." 454 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,319 This is all a bunch of bullshit! 455 00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,857 We shouldn't have lined the computers up like that. 456 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,031 James, I get it, okay? I understand why you're upset. 457 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:41,571 Because you left me out of the most important decision of your campaign? 458 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,947 Because you made us look like fools without letting us know what was going on? 459 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,785 - You're the only one who is upset. - It worked. We have a shot now. 460 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,711 Sorry to interrupt, 461 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,670 but Mary McCutcheon just woke up from her coma, 462 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,210 and Tino is dating your mom. 463 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,981 - I don't have the bandwidth for that now. - It's okay. 464 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,335 - Copy. - I don't know 465 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,093 if I trust you anymore, any of you. 466 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:02,545 What else are you doing that you are not cluing me in on? 467 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:04,316 I don't know if I wanna work for a campaign 468 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,508 where I don't trust anybody! 469 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,137 Boo-hoo, James! Then quit. 470 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:11,436 You should be saying, "Thank you, McAfee, for buying spicy lube and hiding" 471 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,110 in a walk-in closet for literally hours, listening to loud, acrobatic sex 472 00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:18,030 between a bisexual man and a 63-year-old woman. 473 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:21,280 "Maybe you saved the campaign." 474 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,161 - Can I have your vape pen? - Why? 475 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,492 I'd like to puff on it. I'm trying to calm down. 476 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,455 I quit. 477 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,245 - Wait, really? - When? 478 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,583 Just a couple of weeks ago. 479 00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:36,548 It's a personal choice, it's not a big deal. 480 00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,169 Okay, can I remind everyone that I'm still mad? 481 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,796 Okay, James, I'm gonna send tough love your way right now, okay? 482 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,443 The reason you're upset, it's because I placed my trust in McAfee 483 00:21:44,511 --> 00:21:45,721 and not in you. 484 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,271 And do you know why? It's because I know what you'd say. 485 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,597 You'd say, "Don't do it." Right? 486 00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,234 You are risk-averse, James. 487 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,401 When it really comes down to it, you're not a killer. 488 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,400 And because you felt the campaign to be over, 489 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,653 you showed zero interest 490 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,755 in spending the last day and a half registering young black and brown voters, 491 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,869 which we, everyone else, did. 492 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,541 And now we've got almost 500 people who've never voted 493 00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:09,858 headed to the polls on Tuesday. 494 00:22:09,911 --> 00:22:12,223 Okay, all right. I get it. Everybody, stop talking. 495 00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:15,077 I get it. I'm the worst, and I'm not mad anymore. 496 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,727 And we didn't need those computers anyway, so let's just drop it. 497 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,014 But next time, please, 498 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,934 can you actually keep me informed as to what is going on? 499 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,259 - No. - McAfee. 500 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:27,720 Fine. 501 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,216 Fine. 502 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:33,061 Oh, God. Guys? 503 00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,940 I just want to say that what you two did has thrown our entire life into chaos. 504 00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:46,049 The past 24 hours, I've had to watch the woman I love endure more than anyone... 505 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:48,623 I'm sorry, I just have to ask, is she really the woman you love? 506 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,460 Because she's, like, 40 years older than you. 507 00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,874 Well, that's ignorant and ageist. How dare you? 508 00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,495 Am I surprised as you that it happened? Absolutely. 509 00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:57,712 But after what you did, for you to sit there and... 510 00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,253 Okay, okay, uh, let's not get sidetracked, all right? 511 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:01,207 Look, William, 512 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:03,756 I'm honestly so very sorry 513 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,220 that this campaign has stooped to this level, and when it's over, 514 00:23:07,302 --> 00:23:11,972 I think that we all have some serious soul-searching to do. 515 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,597 But can I please just ask you: What exactly brings you here? 516 00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:17,269 I'm here to make an offer, 517 00:23:17,604 --> 00:23:20,484 in exchange for you dropping this thing with me and Hadassah. 518 00:23:20,565 --> 00:23:22,435 Who is, I'm telling you, the most loving, warm, 519 00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:25,396 - passionate partner... - Okay. Okay. What is it? 520 00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:28,275 I'm just gonna say it. 521 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,730 They're in a new throuple already. 522 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:38,134 - My third of the bed was still warm. - Wait, really? 523 00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:40,628 I did some digging. His name is Hamilton. Gross. 524 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:43,300 And he is, as it turns out, a PhD candidate of Marcus's. 525 00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,165 I'm not sure Dede knows that. 526 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,257 - Wow, okay. - Another thing 527 00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:50,932 that Dede doesn't know, and I do, is that Marcus is not the most honest man. 528 00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:54,222 He has, in the last several years, secretly written papers for undergraduates 529 00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:57,637 at several prestigious universities across the country in exchange for money. 530 00:23:58,061 --> 00:23:59,061 Kind of a lot of money. 531 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,864 They pay in cash, and he does not report the income, 532 00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,820 but it's in the mid-six figures. 533 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,030 Wait, wait, wait. You think Dede doesn't know this? 534 00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:07,201 I know she doesn't. 535 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,569 He told me not to tell her. 536 00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:11,235 She's the rare politician who doesn't do that sort of thing. 537 00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:12,324 She's clean. 538 00:24:12,659 --> 00:24:13,659 Huh. 539 00:24:13,743 --> 00:24:16,413 Which is why I'm telling you. If this were to get out, 540 00:24:16,872 --> 00:24:18,792 along with the fact that Dede had no idea, 541 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,714 Marcus could be the one who gets thrown to the wolves, 542 00:24:23,503 --> 00:24:24,593 not Hadassah. 543 00:24:30,385 --> 00:24:31,595 What do you wanna do? 544 00:24:34,681 --> 00:24:36,891 This is exactly what I'm talking about, guys. 545 00:24:37,517 --> 00:24:38,767 I should be in on this. 546 00:24:41,021 --> 00:24:42,061 Georgina! 547 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:44,397 Yes, it's true. 548 00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:46,901 I've been having an affair with Tino McCutcheon. 549 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:49,855 It's also true that I am spectacular in bed. 550 00:24:50,113 --> 00:24:53,163 I work unusually hard for a woman as attractive as I am. 551 00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:55,158 That affair is now over. 552 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,414 I ended it with the following text: 553 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:00,247 "Loser, bye." 554 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,791 I had no idea what kind of man Tino really was, 555 00:25:03,877 --> 00:25:06,837 and I would like to apologize to his recently revived wife. 556 00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:07,957 Thank you. 557 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,168 Georgina! 558 00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,757 - Georgina! - Oh, I have Senator McCutcheon for you. 559 00:25:14,137 --> 00:25:15,677 Please don't do this to me. 560 00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:17,724 At least pretend until after I announce. 561 00:25:17,807 --> 00:25:20,557 You've lost me, but you don't have to lose your campaign. 562 00:25:20,644 --> 00:25:22,354 You do need a Hail Mary, though. 563 00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:25,397 You need to announce your VP candidate, and make it a woman. 564 00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:29,738 So, it's not a good look, to say the least. 565 00:25:29,819 --> 00:25:30,739 I get that. 566 00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:33,450 I did not behave well. That's obvious. 567 00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:35,782 But, and you know, the truth is, 568 00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:38,247 and this is the political angle, I think, too: 569 00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:42,288 How many people really know what it's like to have a spouse in a coma? 570 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,714 They have no idea what it's like. 571 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:45,793 It's a trauma. 572 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,648 And when a person is traumatized, and they've done studies on this, 573 00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:51,682 that person is literally not themself. 574 00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:55,468 Sure, but you did kind of suggest to your wife 575 00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,894 that if she were to die, 576 00:25:57,973 --> 00:26:00,853 that would sort of be the outcome you'd prefer. 577 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:04,194 I didn't want to see her suffer. And, not to be crass, 578 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:06,311 that press conference, I think a lot of people said, 579 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:09,076 "Well, yeah, if I was married to that lady, I'd want her to die too." 580 00:26:09,776 --> 00:26:11,316 But that gets me to the polling. 581 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:14,743 My favorables among the women has taken a hit, sure. 582 00:26:14,823 --> 00:26:15,663 But among men? 583 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:16,740 Hasn't moved. 584 00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:20,327 So, really, I'm still in good shape. 585 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:21,252 Mmm. 586 00:26:21,329 --> 00:26:23,919 And if I were to announce you, and soon, 587 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,169 and you came out in a strong, full-throated defense, 588 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,882 we think that stops the bleeding. 589 00:26:29,296 --> 00:26:32,086 Wait, I'm con... confused. How soon? 590 00:26:32,173 --> 00:26:34,723 Tuesday night. After you win the election. 591 00:26:34,801 --> 00:26:36,891 You fold it into your acceptance speech 592 00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:41,350 about policy, not personal failings, being what elections should be about. 593 00:26:41,433 --> 00:26:44,193 We spend the next few days showing a little leg together. 594 00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,649 Then I announce my run with you on the ticket. 595 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:49,320 It can all happen really fast. 596 00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:50,649 Okay. 597 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:53,360 Let me think about it. 598 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:07,462 I'm so old. 599 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,170 Listen... What... What... What... What are you doing? 600 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:14,918 What does it look like I'm doing? 601 00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,088 I'm not gonna clear out of here after I do this. 602 00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:19,057 I'm gonna do the press conference this afternoon 603 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:21,927 and go straight home and watch What Women Want. 604 00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:23,305 Would you please stop a beat? 605 00:27:23,391 --> 00:27:25,101 - What is it? - I'm flying to California. 606 00:27:25,185 --> 00:27:28,055 I'm gonna talk to Georgina Hobart. 607 00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,523 Good luck with that. 608 00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,153 Not to take anything away from your son 609 00:27:35,236 --> 00:27:37,856 who is an extremely talented politician 610 00:27:37,947 --> 00:27:39,197 with a very bright future, 611 00:27:39,282 --> 00:27:42,872 but if I could just leave you with these two very important points: 612 00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:45,082 No one has done more for women 613 00:27:45,163 --> 00:27:46,673 in the state of New York than I have, 614 00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:48,328 and by taking me out, 615 00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,796 it not only hurts me, but it sets back the entire struggle. 616 00:27:51,878 --> 00:27:55,008 And second, by weaponizing my throuple, 617 00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,550 he's casting judgment on it. 618 00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:58,433 - He's slut-shaming me. - Yeah. 619 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,470 Yeah, I mean, I get all that. 620 00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,558 Um, if I'm honest, 621 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,930 the reason that I agreed to have lunch with you 622 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:09,807 is because I... am just fascinated 623 00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:12,936 by how this whole throuple thing works. 624 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,818 I mean, I tend to get bored in relationships very quickly, 625 00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:20,823 and I always thought that it was a combination of lame choices 626 00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:22,947 and intimacy issues. 627 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:24,914 But now I'm thinking 628 00:28:24,994 --> 00:28:28,754 that maybe being with one person is just inevitably boring. 629 00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:32,542 So, I'm happy to get into detail with you about that, 630 00:28:32,627 --> 00:28:35,257 - but I really think... - Great, because I was wondering 631 00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:39,128 if you think this works with two women and one man. 632 00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,717 I'm happy to get into that, 633 00:28:40,802 --> 00:28:43,682 but, um, my election is in two days, 634 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:47,023 and the situation with Payton is acute and urgent. 635 00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:49,814 Look, you seem great, really, 636 00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:53,364 and, um, I've only been in this politics thing for a month, 637 00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,650 so, mad respect to you 638 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,864 for being in the game so long, especially as a woman. 639 00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:00,238 But my son, he's his own man. 640 00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,451 I don't control him nor would I try to. 641 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:06,162 It's just... It's not my style as a mother. 642 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,998 You know, his victories are his, and his mistakes are his. 643 00:29:11,791 --> 00:29:13,591 My mother was like that too, 644 00:29:14,043 --> 00:29:17,423 but that's just because she needed to work two jobs to put me through Brearley 645 00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:20,375 and, um, pay for our little one-bedroom apartment 646 00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:22,137 on 111th Street. 647 00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:24,550 And my 648 00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:28,557 my father left us when I was seven, 649 00:29:28,641 --> 00:29:31,941 and, um, he started a whole new family. 650 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,650 He seemed happy. I would... I would see him around town sometimes. 651 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,530 Suddenly, you living with two men makes a lot more sense. 652 00:29:40,069 --> 00:29:42,279 I tell you this not for sympathy 653 00:29:42,572 --> 00:29:44,742 but to let you know that I am a fighter, 654 00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:48,078 and I will do whatever it takes to win, 655 00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:51,041 even if it means hurting your son to do it. 656 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:53,708 Sounds great. Should we order something? 657 00:29:55,084 --> 00:29:56,084 Sir? 658 00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:03,628 - Where the fuck is Astrid? - She wasn't feeling well. 659 00:30:05,011 --> 00:30:06,511 Sorry, I came as fast as I could. 660 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:08,636 - Okay, good. Now we can start. - Uh, sorry. 661 00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:11,351 Is McAfee so important that we can't start a meeting without her? 662 00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:13,579 If I was the last to arrive, you guys would've started. 663 00:30:13,603 --> 00:30:15,063 - Jesus, James. - For God's sake. 664 00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:17,186 Okay, everybody, please just shut up. Okay? 665 00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:19,612 Listen, I've been thinking very hard about this, 666 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:22,778 about the campaign so far, 667 00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:24,782 about the futures of every person in this room, 668 00:30:24,864 --> 00:30:26,414 and what I'm about to do in four hours 669 00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:28,621 when I sit down with Riva Mandel from the Times. 670 00:30:29,702 --> 00:30:31,252 I think doing this to Dede's wrong. 671 00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:34,206 I agree. 672 00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:36,852 I've thought about it, and I think that destroying this woman 673 00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:39,076 in this way is wrong, and I don't think we should do it. 674 00:30:39,128 --> 00:30:40,168 This was your whole thing. 675 00:30:40,255 --> 00:30:43,505 I know, James. I was the one in that closet, listening to the sex. 676 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:48,559 Payton, we're way behind, but your numbers are on the way up. 677 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:50,682 The focus on climate emergency, 678 00:30:50,765 --> 00:30:53,475 the appeal with young voters, you have a brand now, 679 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:54,640 a national brand. 680 00:30:54,727 --> 00:30:56,872 And if you smear this woman in the way you're about to, 681 00:30:56,896 --> 00:30:59,186 you tarnish that brand, and I think it's permanent. 682 00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:01,484 Suddenly, you're not a kid with convictions 683 00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,213 who's willing to lose an election for the sake of those convictions. 684 00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:06,567 You're just a politician who'll do anything to win, 685 00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:08,696 when what young people want is authenticity. 686 00:31:08,783 --> 00:31:11,413 You have that now. You have these voters. 687 00:31:11,494 --> 00:31:13,654 You could lose this election, and they will follow you. 688 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:16,205 - I can't believe this. - I'm not so sure you can say 689 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:18,251 we definitely are gonna lose this one. 690 00:31:18,334 --> 00:31:20,844 We've registered more than 500 new voters. 691 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,523 Who's to say they don't put us over the top? 692 00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:25,127 They might, but we have to tell her voters to stay home, 693 00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,976 and we do that by going to The New York Times 694 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:28,340 and telling them she's swampy. 695 00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:30,678 - But she isn't. - But she is if her husband is. 696 00:31:30,763 --> 00:31:33,576 She is if her household's collecting cash payments for college cheating. 697 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,600 This is a no-brainer. 698 00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:36,939 This is the only thing that's gonna give us a shot. 699 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,100 But what if it doesn't? 700 00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:40,315 You know? What if... 701 00:31:41,232 --> 00:31:42,652 What if we run with this 702 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:45,364 and it ruins all the work we've done so far, 703 00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:46,525 and then I still don't win? 704 00:31:46,946 --> 00:31:49,116 You know? Am I still the same candidate I am right now? 705 00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:50,738 Am I still a rising star, 706 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:53,235 or am I just a young, 707 00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:55,285 rich asshole 708 00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:58,082 who played very dirty and still lost? 709 00:32:00,084 --> 00:32:01,254 Alice? 710 00:32:01,586 --> 00:32:02,586 Don't do it. 711 00:32:03,504 --> 00:32:06,384 Win or lose on your own merits. Fight another day. 712 00:32:06,716 --> 00:32:08,046 - Skye? - I agree. 713 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,547 We've done a lot of really good work. Don't ruin it. 714 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,021 - James? - Does it matter what I think? 715 00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:19,234 - I'm outvoted. - Yes, I want to know what you think. 716 00:32:22,565 --> 00:32:23,565 I agree. 717 00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:25,278 Don't do it. It's not a good look. 718 00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:30,276 Okay. Okay, James, call Riva, tell her there is no story. 719 00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:32,992 I need to try and get some sleep. 720 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,656 I'm proud of us, you guys. All right? 721 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:38,919 This was the right move. 722 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:57,516 Are we just gonna leave that there on the table? 723 00:32:59,185 --> 00:33:00,185 Sorry. 724 00:33:02,438 --> 00:33:04,938 We use condoms when we have sex. 725 00:33:05,024 --> 00:33:06,234 Are you sure it's mine? 726 00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:08,077 You're the only people I've banged in months. 727 00:33:08,444 --> 00:33:11,454 So unless it's some immaculate conception... 728 00:33:13,741 --> 00:33:16,291 Condoms are only 98.8 percent effective. 729 00:33:16,369 --> 00:33:20,499 So I guess your swimmers snuck in through that 1.2 percent window. 730 00:33:20,581 --> 00:33:23,211 God, my sperm's as ambitious as I am. 731 00:33:23,751 --> 00:33:26,301 I'm pregnant, too. 732 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:29,671 Get out. Wow. 733 00:33:30,174 --> 00:33:33,134 I guess it is true what they say about women's cycles lining up. 734 00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:35,507 - Yeah. - What are you planning on doing about it? 735 00:33:35,596 --> 00:33:37,386 - What are you planning on doing? - We're 736 00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:40,273 going to make an announcement 737 00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:41,521 and get married. 738 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:45,940 It's good politics, and I won't have my child being a bastard. 739 00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,484 So where does that leave me? 740 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:52,161 You get to wear the big, white dress and be queen for the day, again, 741 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:53,278 and I'm, what, 742 00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:55,834 some... knocked-up whore? 743 00:33:55,908 --> 00:33:57,488 You joined our relationship, Astrid. 744 00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:59,537 You knew where you fell in the order of things. 745 00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:01,210 There's no need to be cold, Alice. 746 00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:03,416 Listen, whatever you choose to do, 747 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:08,632 we will support you financially and emotionally the very best we can. 748 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:11,650 And you'll have to sign an NDA with very specific language 749 00:34:11,674 --> 00:34:13,974 to make sure no one ever finds out I'm the father, but... 750 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:15,887 I'm not collateral. 751 00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:18,060 I'm not a problem on a checklist. 752 00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:20,479 I am having exactly the same experience as Alice. 753 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:22,138 Hers is no better than mine. 754 00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:26,226 Screw you both. 755 00:34:27,398 --> 00:34:28,398 I'm out. 756 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:31,193 You know what? 757 00:34:32,153 --> 00:34:34,434 Maybe I'll just have to have a press conference of my own. 758 00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:52,672 Hi. 759 00:34:52,882 --> 00:34:56,052 Payton was going to cancel, but I have the story. 760 00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:58,891 All right, shoot. 761 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,015 Dede Standish is a swamp creature. 762 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:03,941 Pretends she's clean, 763 00:35:04,018 --> 00:35:06,558 but her husband makes upwards of six figures in cash every year 764 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:09,016 ghostwriting for college kids all across the country. 765 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,527 He's been doing this for years. 766 00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:13,028 Jesus. Who's your source? 767 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,111 William Ward. 768 00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:16,905 He will also tell you he's banging Hadassah Gold. 769 00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:18,740 They live together. 770 00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:21,867 That throuple stuff, it's all smoke and mirrors. 771 00:35:23,037 --> 00:35:25,207 When she aired that ad, it was already over. 772 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,250 The guy that Dede and Marcus are porking now 773 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,342 is one of Marcus' students. 774 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:36,010 Holy sh...