[ANIMALS CHITTERING]
[♪♪♪]
Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
[SIGHS]
Leaving this to come see you.
And I can't wait.
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
[GRUNTING]
[CHUCKLES]
Whew.
[PHONE BUZZES]
MAN: Taxi! Over here.
[SIGHS]
Taxi!
Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
♪ ...happiest season of all ♪
[PHONE VIBRATES]
♪ With those holiday greetings And gay happy meetings ♪
♪ When friends come to call ♪
♪ It's the hap-happiest season Of all ♪
[CLICKS]
- Gilpin! - Ahh!
You still on the toothpaste? Are you on your phone?
I'm just... I'm going home for the holidays tonight, so...
Does it look like tonight to you?
Because to me, it looks like today.
- Finish the toothpaste. - Okay. Sorry.
[INHALING]
♪ It's the most wonderful time Of the year ♪
[INHALING RAPIDLY]
[PANTING]
♪ There'll be much mistletoeing And hearts will be glowing ♪
[RAINDROPS PATTERING]
♪ When loved ones are near ♪
♪ It's the most wonderful time Yes, the most wonderful ♪
[GROANS]
♪ Time Of the year ♪
[GRUNTING]
[♪♪♪]
Dad, we're home!
EDDIE: I'm in the kitchen!
Jan, Spencer!
In the kitchen!
Dad, are you on a ladder?
- What are you doing? - Grandpa.
- What's it look like? - Get down.
I'm changing your light bulb.
I leave for 10 minutes, you're climbing ladders?
Don't think you should be doing that.
You think I can't change a light bulb?
- Okay. - There.
Ugh! No, no, no.
- I got it. I'm fine. - Okay.
Hey, kiddo!
Hey, how's New York City?
- It's great. - How's school?
It's okay. How you doing?
I'm terrific. I don't even know what I'm doing here.
You're recovering from hip surgery.
Meh! I'll be out of here in no time.
It's not a prison.
I wanna get back to my apartment.
- Is that so terrible? - Your apartment? It's terrible.
Is it really cold in here?
The downstairs heater isn't working.
- The guy's coming in the morning. - It's like a goddamn icebox.
Did you ever call Milo?
What? No.
Dad. He's called five times. Just call him back.
I'm not calling him back. I don't wanna talk to him.
Come on, I'll help you with your bags.
[SIGHS]
Oh, you're staying in here.
We're roommates.
Yeah. I could just stay downstairs on the couch.
- What? Don't be ridiculous. - If you want, yeah.
It's a couple weeks. It's gonna be fine.
Come on in. Make yourself comfortable.
- Oh! You're gonna... - Whoa!
[GROANING]
- You okay? - Don't tell your mother!
This goes there. There.
That's in there.
- All right, let's try it. - Okay, let's see.
All right, so there's that.
There's this. There's this.
The blue light, the red, the green light.
Oh, look at you two. How sweet is this?
Okay, I have to leave for work before either of you gets up.
The heater guy's coming in the morning.
I'm gonna meet my friends for brunch at 10.
That'll be nice. Where are you going?
- Um... Nora's. - What are you going there for?
All the restaurants in Brantford,
- you gotta go to that one? - I didn't pick.
What difference does it make? It's been years.
I love you, honey. I'm so glad you're home.
SPENCER: Love you too, Mom.
[SIGHS]
Getting old sucks. Don't let anybody tell you any different.
You still got that little girlfriend?
No.
We're not together anymore.
I don't think.
Was it her or you?
- It's complicated. - Try me.
We'll see if I can understand.
Well, when we first got together,
we were...
sort of different people than we are now.
I mean, last year was...
amazing.
I was a senior in high school.
I had a girlfriend.
Like, I finally figured out who I was or something.
Mm.
I wish I could just feel like that again, I guess.
[SIGHS]
I don't know.
Long-distance relationships are hard.
I mean, I know everybody says that, but turns out it's true.
Can I give you a little advice? Listen to me.
Every single day on every single subway car,
there's lots of ladies in New York City.
And one in five of them, I would marry, no questions asked.
This is the best time of your life.
- It is? - Yes, it is.
So pull it together! It doesn't get any better than this.
It's all downhill from here.
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING]
[MACHINE BUBBLING]
[SHUDDERING]
Bravestone.
[♪♪♪]
[DOOR BELLS JINGLING]
BOTH: Hi!
Yay, yay, yay!
- Ooh! - Oh, gosh, how are you?
- Oh, my God, you look amazing. - Thank you.
Ho, ho, ho!
- Fridge. - Fridge!
- Come here. - Ooh!
So we were building houses for two months,
and then on the way home, we stopped in Costa Rica,
which was also amazing.
That is so awesome. I am so happy for you.
That is so cool.
So, "M," that's what we're supposed to call you now?
You don't have to. It's just a nickname.
One of my college friends gave me that.
You don't have to call me that.
M. I love it. It's so hot.
- Okay. - But you and Spencer,
- you're still not...? - Yeah. No. Um, we're...
We're still, like, taking a break.
Where is he, by the way?
[MACHINE BUBBLING]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[EDDIE SNORING QUIETLY]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[GROANS]
[♪♪♪]
Eh, Christ.
What do you want, Milo?
Nice to see you too.
Yes, I'd love to come in for a cup of coffee.
Thanks for asking.
[♪♪♪]
You mind if I make some eggs?
Do whatever you want. I don't care.
Just hurry up. I don't have all day.
You going somewhere?
Have, um...?
Have you been in touch with Spencer much?
Yeah...
You know what?
Not really, actually.
I text him a lot, but he doesn't always text me back.
- I know. - FRIDGE: It's just...
I've been crazed lately
with, you know, classes and practices,
and I got games on the weekends.
Yeah. Totally. Totally.
I've just... I've been... I've been a little worried about him.
Okay, look, where...? Where is this guy? For real.
Good?
- Meh. - What do you mean, "Meh"?
Meh! What do you want already?
You've been calling and calling.
You show up out of the blue after 15 years.
Why? 'Cause you wanna make some eggs?
[CHUCKLING]
You remember when we first opened,
we had that little dishwasher, Morris?
Yeah, of course I remember Morris.
Worked the dinner shift.
Six days a week, 2 in the morning most nights.
- The dishwasher. - Little Morris. Mm.
He wouldn't even touch those saucepans until he was done
with every single utensil in the bin.
[CHUCKLING]
Yeah, the man knew his craft.
Little Morris.
Well, get... Wha...
Just get to it, would you?
I mean, it's always the scenic route with you.
I know what you want, you want to apologize.
And I hate to tell you, I'm not interested.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You think I'm supposed to apologize?
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Oh, heater guy.
- Grandpa Eddie? - Anthony?
Yes, sir, it's me.
Anthony!
How are you?
Come on in. Come on in.
- How you doing? - Oh, getting old sucks.
Don't let anybody tell you any different.
Heh, heh. Oh, uh, this is uh, Martha and-and Bethany.
This is Spencer's grandfather, Eddie.
Martha? You're the little girlfriend.
- Uh... - Morning!
Morning, sir. Sorry to barge in on you.
You're not barging. He's barging.
Milo Walker.
Wait, Milo? Like... Like Milo and Eddie's.
- Pleased to meet you. - Man, my dad said
you guys had the best restaurant.
We were just there. Well, it's called Nora's now.
Pfft, Nora's. It's barely even a restaurant.
It's more like a breakfast place now.
Were you with Spencer?
No, we came here looking for him, actually.
You all hungry? Eggs on the griddle.
- Might have to take a look. - Hey, man,
you can do more than take a look at it.
FRIDGE: All right, all right. My man.
- Whoa. Do you need a hand? - Do I look like I need a hand?
BETHANY: Martha?
Hey.
Where is he?
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT PLAYS]
- Do you hear that? - Yes.
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT CONTINUES]
You hear something?
It's probably the heater. It's broken.
[DRUMBEAT STOPS]
How did it even get here?
I don't know.
Maybe he... I don't know,
maybe he went back for it or something?
Is he trying to fix it?
Why would anyone try to fix that thing?
I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe he went to buy parts or something?
Okay, look, I'm calling him again.
I'm sure everything's... fine.
[PHONE BUZZING]
Fourteen texts and four missed calls.
I don't think he went out.
I think...
I think he went back in.
No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no...
- What? No. Why...? - FRIDGE: Come on, man!
BETHANY: Why would he do that?
FRIDGE: Remember what it was like?
- I got eaten by a fricking hippo! - I got killed by a piece of cake!
Guys, guys.
How is he gonna get out?
Uh, he's gotta take the... The green jewel.
And stick it back in the statue thing.
By himself?
[SIGHS]
We gotta go get him.
Are you crazy?
- I'm coming with you. - Are you out of your minds?
We can do this. We've been there. We know what to expect.
I gotta stop hanging out with white people.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
She's right. We played before and we won.
We barely survived!
You know he would do it for you.
For any of us.
[♪♪♪]
Be careful. It looks pretty busted.
- [ELECTRICAL CRACKLING] - [MARTHA & FRIDGE GASP]
NIGEL [OVER TV]: Welcome to Jumanji.
What...? We haven't even picked our guys yet!
What?
Okay, okay. Here we go. Oh, I hate this part. All right. Okay.
This is not happening!
You guys?
[♪♪♪]
[PANTING HEAVILY]
No!
[SCREAMS]
[ANIMALS CHITTERING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Am I...?
Is it...? I can't believe...
Oh!
[GASPS]
Oh, it's her.
I'm her.
[♪♪♪]
Spencer.
Spencer?
[GRUNTS]
What in tarnation?
Where am I?
What the hell is this?
Oh, my God.
Eddie?
- Who the hell are you? - I'm Milo Walker. Who are you?
Milo?
What on earth? What...?
[GASPS]
- What the...? - Oh, my.
Wait a minute.
Oh, Lord.
- This isn't happening. - Pardon me?
- Who are you? - You're Spencer's grandfather.
- Yeah, no kidding. - And you are Milo.
I certainly am.
I'm Martha, Spencer's...
- You're the little girlfriend? - [RUSTLING]
- Look out! - What?
- [YELLING] - [GRUNTS]
- Ah! Oh, oh! - Oh, Lord.
That hurt like a goddamn...
- Bethany? - What? I'm not...
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Yo!
Oh, no, no, no. This can't be happening!
Fridge?
Yes, I'm Fridge, goddamn it!
The hell, man?
Okay. Okay, something went wrong.
You think?
Holy...
Wait. If I'm...
Then you...? Spencer?
Why does everybody keep calling me Spencer?
No, that is Grandpa Eddie. And that, heh... is Milo.
Pleased to meet you.
What?
Then where's Bethany? And where's Spencer?
I don't know! Okay?
The game, it didn't let us pick our avatars, so...
- Because it's busted! - Yeah, okay.
Are we dead?
You know, I was just wondering the same thing.
Did I die and turn into
some kind of a small, muscular Boy Scout?
- We're not dead. - So then what's going on here?
Okay, this is gonna sound very, uh, strange,
but we are in a video game called Jumanji,
and we are in the bodies of video game characters, heh.
And we've been here before, Fridge and I.
- Last time, I was you. - Mm.
- Huh? - We're in a game!
We gotta find Spencer 'cause he's in here too.
- Spencer? - Yes.
- He's here? - Yes.
Spencer, Eddie's grandson?
Yes. Spencer.
- He's here too? - MARTHA & FRIDGE: Yes!
He's here, and we gotta find him.
So it's like a hide-and-go-seek situation.
I'm not "it."
Hm...
My hip feels pretty good now.
Oh, my joints feel like butter.
- Oh, yeah, look at those. - Wow.
Look at these. Look at what I got.
- Uh, we have some issues here. - You're telling me this?
I'm the old fat dude.
I came back, and things actually got worse.
At least last time I was still black.
Well, look at this little fella.
Hello there. Heh.
Mr. Walker, don't get too close to the water!
- Get away from there! - I'm sorry, what'd you say now?
[ROARING]
[GASPS]
Hey! Ahh!
Get on out of here!
[GRUNTING]
MOUSE: What just happened?
What the hell was that thing?
Well, that there was a hippopotamus. Mm-hm.
And they are awfully fast.
Faster than a horse, if you can believe that.
And they've got an awful ferocious bite.
How about that? You know, the funny thing is,
I don't remember...
knowing much about hippos until right now.
You're a zoologist.
- I'm sorry, what now? - Are we in Florida?
Just listen. This is a dangerous place.
Crazy dangerous.
But Martha and I, we've been here before.
We know what we're doing. You gotta stay alert all the time.
If I'm near water, I got one eye on the water, you hear me?
You got to have eyes in the back of your...
- [SCREAMS] - [GASPS]
[MUFFLED GRUNTING]
Oh, God.
What in the Sam Hill just happened to him?
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[OBERON YELLING]
[GROANS]
Shut the front door.
What the hell happened to you?
Damn!
A plane?
What? Come on! Follow me!
Come on, let's go. Let's go. Follow us.
[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]
[♪♪♪]
Welcome to Jumanji.
- Why is he in a plane? - I don't know.
Well, don't just stand there. Hop in!
NIGEL: Strap in. There's no time to spare.
Dr. Bravestone, famed archeologist
and international explorer,
I'm so glad you've returned.
I've been so anxious for your arrival.
- You talking to me? - Yes.
Once again, Jumanji is in great peril,
and only you can help.
Nigel, we're looking for our friend.
- Have you seen, like, anyone...? - Ruby Roundhouse, killer of men,
welcome to Jumanji.
- "Killer of men"? - Yeah, I, uh... I kill guys.
I'm so glad you've returned.
I've been so anxious for your arrival.
- What's with this fella? - My dearest Mouse,
surely you remember me.
Nigel Billingsly at your service.
Hey. Nigel, I thought that was you.
He's a... Uh, what is it called?
- NPC, a non-player character. - OBERON: He's not a real person.
He only has a limited number of things he can say.
Mm, my friend Carl is just like that.
Nigel, we're looking for someone.
Has anyone arrived in Jumanji...?
Jumanji is in great peril.
It's all detailed in the letter I sent you, Dr. Bravestone.
Perhaps you should read it aloud.
Grandpa Eddie.
- Do you have a letter? - Do I have a letter?
- Check your pockets. - Why would I have a letter?
Nigel here wrote you a letter.
I didn't get a letter from this guy.
But we are in a video game, and...
We're in a video game?
We're gonna die.
- We did die. - Are we in hell?
- I knew it. - Oh, my God.
It's detailed in the letter I sent you,
Dr. Bravestone. You should read it aloud.
I don't have a letter! How many times I gotta tell you that?
Oh, no, Eddie. It's in your hand.
Where did this come from?
You got to pay attention to what's in your hand.
Perhaps you should read it aloud.
[CLEARS THROAT]
"Dr. Bravestone, it is my solemn hope
that this letter finds you, for again..."
NIGEL: Jumanji is in grave danger. We need your help at once.
BRAVESTONE: Whoa, what's going on here?
RUBY: It's a cutscene. It's how we find...
I'll explain afterwards.
NIGEL: You see, our worst nightmare
has come to pass,
for Jurgen the Brutal has returned.
Indeed, that most vicious Jumanjian conqueror is back.
[CROWD CHEERING]
And he's brought with him
his savage horde.
They descended from their fortress atop Mount Zhatmire
and made their way south to the Avian Province,
home of the sacred Falcon Jewel,
worn around the neck of the village elder.
The Falcon is the fertility jewel of Jumanji,
and it has been guarded by the people
of the Avian Province for hundreds of years.
So long as the jewel can see the sun,
the waters will flow and the land will flourish.
[VILLAGERS SCREAMING]
- [YELLING] - [GROANS]
Yeah!
[♪♪♪]
NIGEL: Many brave souls died that day,
but Jurgen got what he came for.
He stowed the jewel in darkness,
hidden from the sun.
[WHISTLES]
[GROWLING]
A drought befell the land.
The crops dried out and died.
And if the jewel is not returned soon,
it may be too late.
Which is why we called for you
and your brilliant associates.
I understand the enormous weight
that this must carry for you, Dr. Bravestone,
how this adventure is like no other,
since it was Jurgen the Brutal
who killed your parents.
No, no, no, no!
- Huh? - He killed
- Dr. Bravestone's parents? - Indeed, he did.
- When the doctor was just a boy. - Oh, well, that's terrible.
I can't say this enough: We're in a video game.
You must recover the jewel from Jurgen the Brutal
and show it to the sun.
He's making his way north across the desert now.
Jurgen the Brutal. Is that Barbara's boy?
And remember, the goal is to recover the loot.
To wrest it from the hands of the brute.
And if you wish to leave the game,
you must save Jumanji and call out its name.
Excuse me. Who is Jumanji?
Well, if I was listening correctly, that is her sister.
Here's your map.
Find an oasis and follow the flame to the desert fruit.
- Huh? - I can't land here,
so you're going to have to drop in.
- What? - No, no. Nigel...
- I'll get as low as I can. - Hold on.
- Get ready. - What do you mean?
We don't have parachutes.
Shouldn't we have...? Ahh!
- MOUSE: What the hell? - NIGEL: Good luck.
The future of Jumanji is in your hands.
Why did we take a plane if there's nowhere to land?
And go!
[SCREAMING]
[ALL GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
[♪♪♪]
[GASPING]
The hell, man?
Where are we?
Where's the jungle?
What are we doing here?
We've got to keep it together, okay?
- "Keep it together"? - Yes.
This is a whole new thing.
Nobody said we'd have to do a whole new thing.
And by the way, what the hell happened to Bethany?
[GROANS]
[WIND WHISTLING]
MOUSE: So, what part of New Hampshire is this exactly?
BRAVESTONE: We're not in New Hampshire, Milo.
That's right. Exactly. Not New Hampshire.
- You're starting to get it now? - Nope.
I don't have the foggiest clue what's going on here.
That guy kept calling me Dr. Braverman,
which is the name of my orthopedist.
I'm thinking I just had another hip surgery
and now I'm coming out of it.
Hey! Check this out!
[♪♪♪]
Okay. We have to find Spencer.
To do that, I think we have to start playing the game.
I'm sure that's what he did. We find him,
finish the game, and we go home.
Ed, you okay?
Would you look at me?
I'm back.
I haven't looked like this since...
Never.
You looked like this never.
What? When I was younger, I was in great shape.
I remember you when you were younger,
and... this is not what you looked like.
I think my eyes are a different color.
All of you is a different color.
It's a good look on me, huh? Huh?
Okay. They're headed north.
- Which way is north? - I have no idea.
- Well, you wanna check the map? - Right. I'm the map guy now.
"Find an oasis and follow the flame to the desert fruit."
Follow the flame to the desert fruit.
You know there's nothing on that?
He can see it, you can't.
Each place on the map is a different level,
and the levels get harder as we go.
This one is called...
"Dunes."
No shit.
BRAVESTONE: Who the hell is that?
Oh, that's an ostrich.
- Oh, no. - Yes, indeed.
That is an ostrich.
The ostrich is a flightless bird,
one of 60 species.
You got the penguin, you got the emu, and you got the kiwi.
Heh, heh, funny thing is, I don't remember knowing...
OBERON & RUBY: You're a zoologist.
I was a zoologist last time. It's important.
Maybe if we could get through this quicker.
Well, another thing is, they can run up to 45 miles per hour,
which makes them the world's fastest two-legged animal.
Did you know that? Fascinating.
- What a magnificent creature. - We should get out of here.
[SQUAWKS]
What else do you know?
Here's another interesting fact.
[SQUAWKS]
They have three stomachs. How about that?
[SQUAWKS]
Ah! Come on. Beat it!
Don't get so close.
Just a bird, okay? Come on, get moving. Get out of here.
- Anything else we need to know? - Beat it, bird.
Another interesting thing about the ostrich...
I said scram, you stupid bird!
- ...is when threatened... - Get out of here!
...they attack.
[ALL GASPING]
MOUSE: Oh, my!
[SQUAWKS]
- Eddie! Eddie! - Oh!
Where's Eddie? Is he dead?
- Yes. - No. Yes, he died,
but he's fine.
Did I just kill Eddie...
by talking too slow...
like he always said I would?
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[RUMBLING]
[GRUNTS]
Why does everybody keep dropping from the sky?
Nurse, I'm gonna need to see Dr. Braverman right now, please.
I'm not your nurse. Okay, listen.
These tattoos on our arms, that is your life count.
We each have three lives.
You and Fridge each have two left.
If you lose all three,
listen to me, it is game over.
- That's it. You're dead. - Dead like... "kaputski"?
Yes.
Kaputski.
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT PLAYS]
What the hell is that?
- That's not good. - Look.
[RUMBLING]
Oh, there's one more thing about ostriches.
Oh, no.
Say it!
They travel in herds.
[SQUAWKING]
We gotta get out of here!
- Dune buggies, let's go! - Come on, come on! Shake a leg!
- BRAVESTONE: Hey, wait. - MOUSE: Why am I so slow?
OBERON: Haul ass, girl. Let's go!
- Come on, come on! - I'm coming, Eddie.
- Go. - Do you see the key anywhere?
- Okay, how do I do this? - I've never driven one of these!
[SQUAWKING]
Maybe under the dash.
- Green button! - Green button. Go.
Go, go, go!
[ENGINE REVS]
Go, go.
[♪♪♪]
Oh, my God!
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS, GROANS]
[GRUNTING]
MOUSE: Go.
You are a terrible driver.
What are you talking about? We're fine.
Nobody fine. You... Oh! Oh, oh!
Oh, no! Ahh, ahh!
Oh, help! Oh, oh!
Hold on, Eddie. Please don't let go.
Ahh! Oh! Oh, wow!
Oh, help. Ahh!
[YELLS]
Help. Eddie. Oh!
[GROANS, GRUNTS]
Beat it!
Get out of here!
I think we lost them.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
[BOTH SCREAM]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[BOTH PANTING]
- Are you okay? - Yeah.
[RUMBLING]
Oh, no.
[OSTRICHES SQUAWKING]
- Ahh! - What do we do?
I don't know!
[♪♪♪]
Get in! Hurry!
[ALL GROAN]
Ha! Suckers!
- Eddie... - Uh-oh.
- RUBY: Oh, my... - OBERON: Whoa, whoa!
- Oh, dude! - MOUSE: Oh, dear.
[PANTING]
RUBY: What do we do?
[ENGINE REVS]
What are you doing?
- OBERON: Birds, birds, birds! - Birds!
- What the hell, man? - They're flightless birds.
This is a flightless dune buggy!
- OBERON: Oh! - Oh, no!
[ALL YELLING]
OBERON: No, no, no!
- We're not going to make it. - We're gonna make it.
- RUBY: No, we're not! - We're not gonna make it.
We're gonna make it.
We're not gonna make it.
[ALL YELL]
That was fantastic. Heh.
- Oh, horrible driver. - Whoo...
[GROANS]
Yeah, you see that, birds? You don't mess with the kid.
Right there!
[SQUAWKS]
[OSTRICHES SCREECHING]
Did you see me?
I was incredible.
I mean, I saved you, I saved you,
I saved this guy from a bird while I was driving a car.
I was a machine. I was relentless.
- I was fearless. - Yes. Exactly. Fearless.
That's Bravestone. Okay, check this out.
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
Oh, goodness.
What the hell?
It's your strengths and weaknesses.
I... I mean your avatar,
Dr. Bravestone's, strengths and weaknesses.
"Fearless," check.
"Speed. Climbing." "Boomerang"?
"Smoldering intensity"?
- It's this stupid face you make. - Huh?
[SMOLDERING]
There it is.
Ew! Ew! Old man. Get it together.
Eddie, you okay? You having a heart attack?
His whole left side is shutting down. Eddie, look at me!
- Yeah? - There you go. Now you're back.
"Weakness: switchblade."
Switchblade? Hey, that's new.
Bravestone didn't have weaknesses last time.
Yeah, bugged the hell out of me.
I wonder if...
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
- "Nunchucks"? That's new. - Damn, that's a good list.
Milo, push on your left, like, chest area.
- I'm sorry, what? - Come on, man.
Hey!
Oh, I got one too. What...?
My. "Zoology." That's what you were talking about earlier.
- Yes. Exactly. - Yes.
Your avatar is a zoologist.
You know, my nephew Maxwell is a veterinarian.
- What a fascinating... - "Linguistics"?
- I didn't have that last time. - The study of languages.
Makes sense. He studies the entire language
on his way to the point.
Anyway, he's 32. Or is he 35?
- Time does fly. - [SIGHS]
Okay, let's get it over with.
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
You gotta be kidding me.
Well, geometry is...
- Is new. - Yeah.
Who wouldn't wanna be better at geometry?
And for weaknesses, "Endurance."
And what else? Let's see, "Heat, sun and sand."
Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like
we're in the middle of a goddamn desert or anything.
What's the point of this guy? Who even needs this guy?
He can read the map.
Easy for you to say, you got nunchucks!
I've been training four hours a day for six months.
Now look at me!
Man, it is hot out here!
How is this guy a character in an adventure game?
Okay, okay, okay.
I gotta get this guy in shape and build up some endurance.
I know how to do that.
Burpees. Five burpees, right now.
Get it going!
[GRUNTING]
- MOUSE: That's one. - One!
[GRUNTING]
[WHEEZING, GRUNTING]
- Oh, no. - Oh, yeah, come on!
[GROANS]
North is that way!
[♪♪♪]
MOUSE: You know, it's, uh...
It's really good to see you, Ed.
I don't wanna hear it.
You don't wanna hear that it's good to see you?
- You sold me out, Milo. - I did not sell you out.
We sold our business. It was time.
- Yeah, time for who? - Well, it was time for me.
Okay? Standing on my feet,
serving a hundred plates a night for 35 years?
I was done.
I was ready, man.
I was ready to retire.
I'm done talking!
[♪♪♪]
OBERON: "The Oasis."
I guess that's the next level.
Huh?
[SIGHS]
The next level of the game.
We're in a game?
Oh. Yes, Grandpa Eddie, we are in a game.
You can't be serious.
Did you know about this?
I thought you were done talking.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Bethany? - Yep.
- My name's Bethany too. - Really?
Daddy, her name's Bethany too.
Sure is, sweetie.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure, yeah. Uh, come in.
I'm sorry, I just...
I didn't know where else to go.
No, no, no, it's okay.
I'm glad you came.
Do you think you can help me get the machine to start?
[SIGHS]
That is so dangerous.
I know.
But I have to try.
They're my team.
[♪♪♪]
MOUSE: So, what exactly are we looking for again?
BRAVESTONE: We're looking for my grandson, genius.
Okay, "Follow the flame to the desert fruit."
Look.
[SNARLING, GROWLING]
They're here.
Hyenas.
Unusual for their bone-crushing teeth.
[NEON BUZZING]
OBERON: Smoke Stack.
Where's there's smoke...
There's fire.
- Come on. - Mm.
- MAN 1: Boom! - MAN 2: You call that a roll?
MAN 3: Not bad at all.
MAN 2: I'll bet you two more!
Drinks! Drinks over here!
Another round here!
- Yeah! - Yeah!
[ALL CHEERING]
[CHRIS ISAAK'S "WICKED GAME" PLAYS ON JUKEBOX]
♪ The world was on fire ♪
♪ And no one could save me But you ♪
I thought you'd never come back.
♪ Strange what desire... ♪
I need to talk to you.
Absolutely.
Not here, not now.
Not around them.
[BOTH GASP]
- [GRUNTS] - [GASPS]
Leave me alone!
Wow.
Fiery.
OBERON: Not a real person.
- What'd she say? - Well, she said she thought
I was never gonna come back, she wants to get together later,
- and we all know what that means. - Hiyo!
It means that she's got a clue for you.
Oh, that's a coincidence. I got a clue for her.
- You got a clue for her. - RUBY: Wait.
She's your ex-girlfriend. She's the flame.
- "Follow the flame." - What?
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
[MEN CHEERING]
The jewel, it's here.
[♪♪♪]
[CROWD QUIETS]
[HYENAS YIPPING]
[GROWLING, YELPING]
Is that the guy that killed my parents?
No. Well, yeah. Kind of.
We lost a good man today.
The very best of us.
For Dagfinn...
wasn't just my hyena master.
He was my friend.
I loved him like a brother.
And now he's gone.
And his beloved hyenas are left...
without their master.
[YIPPING, GROWLING]
Long live Dagfinn.
ALL: Long live Dagfinn!
Why did he have to die?
He died because...
he made a mistake.
He tried to steal something quite precious from me.
He left me no choice.
And now...
I feed him to his beloved hyenas.
[HORDE GROANING]
- That's messed up. - Oh!
I loved Dagfinn!
There's none among you I love as much.
And so...
[HORDE GASPING, CLAMORING]
The key!
It's gone.
Thief!
I got her. I got the thief.
Wait.
- Are you guys...? Wha...? - Come here.
- MAN 1: Catch her! - MAN 2: Don't let her get away.
Trying to steal the key to my chest?
Nope.
Shake her down.
I'm sorry, I did it. It was my fault.
I, uh...
I just... I don't...
I don't know what I was... Oy vey.
Uh, it's like, um... It's like I'm hyperventilating.
Does anyone have, like, a eucalyptus inhaler?
Or a brown paper bag?
Spencer?
Is it really hot in here?
You mean...?
- That's him. Right there. - What?
That ain't Spencer. Look, I know my grandson.
My grandson's a guy.
Did he change his hair?
- Cut off her head. - MAN 1: Yeah!
- MAN 2: Cut off her head! - Wait, wait, wait.
I just think, uh, maybe don't cut off my head?
- Oh! - Spencer!
- Oh, my. - Did he just...?
Oh, Lord.
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
That's my Life Alert.
I gotta take my pill.
[♪♪♪]
RUBY: Come on!
Spencer!
Oh, my God, you're alive.
What are you guys doing here?
What are we doing here? We came to get you, fool!
- Bethany? - Not Bethany. Fridge, goddamn it!
What? So, um...
Milo Walker, darling.
Milo?
- Spencer? Is that you, kiddo? - Grandpa?
Guys, I found Spencer. Here's Spencer right here.
What are you stealing for?
- I'm still me. - Oh.
Hey.
- Hey. - Hey.
[HYENAS YIPPING]
Come on.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Let's go.
[♪♪♪]
Damn it, I was so close. I had the key in my hand.
- Why'd you stop me? - Huh? Someone yelled "thief,"
so I grabbed you. What do you want?
You shouldn't have come. I had it under control.
Did you? It looked like you just got murdered.
I mean, what the hell, Spencer? Why are you even here?
RUBY: Why did you have the game?
We destroyed it so that this would never happen!
I went back and got it, okay?
I don't know why I did it, but I did.
And then last night...
I've been in kind of a weird place,
and something came over me, okay?
And now we're all stuck here again!
I thought that I would be him. Bravestone!
I wanted to feel like that again.
Like... I could do anything.
But instead, I'm, um...
Ming Fleetfoot.
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
RUBY: "Cat burglar, pickpocket, safecracker."
Another better character.
- RUBY: "Weakness: pollen." - Yeah.
She's small and crafty and has allergies.
She's basically me.
[SIGHS]
I swear, man, if we survive,
I am gonna kill you.
I just can't believe you came back here on purpose.
I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm sorry.
Wait!
BRAVESTONE: Oh, there she is.
- Who? - My ex.
Okay.
Hi.
If my husband knew I was talking to you,
you'd be dead by morning.
Uh, don't tell him?
Listen to me, Jurgen and his army
are returning to his fortress.
There, they will meet the Brothers Kababik.
He will trade the Falcon Jewel, and an alliance will be formed.
You must get the jewel before that happens.
You're our only hope,
so you must hurry.
Oh, my.
[MOANS]
- Now you must go. - Gotta go.
They're gonna meet the Brothers who?
The Brothers Kababik.
- The Brothers Bababik. - Shh!
- Kababik? - You must get the jewel
before that happens.
You are our only hope, so you must hurry.
[♪♪♪]
[CHUCKLING]
I think you should explain it to us one more time.
- Wait a second. - Oh!
What about the desert fruit?
Aren't you gonna lead us to that?
Now I must go...
before Switchblade realizes I'm gone.
What? Switchblade?
That's his weakness.
I love you, Dr. Bravestone.
And I always will.
That...
is my curse.
[GASPS]
I love you too!
Well, she seems like a nice girl.
- [SIGHS] - [CAMEL BELLOWING]
We need camels.
Okay, if we're gonna catch up with Jurgen, we need camels.
And we need to find the desert fruit, whatever that is.
"Follow the flame." I guess we have to follow her.
You guys follow her, we'll go steal some camels.
[♪♪♪]
Whoa.
[FLAMES WHOOSHING]
[ELECTRIC CRACKLING]
[WATER BUBBLING]
"Jumanji Berry Tree."
Jumanji berry?
That's a desert fruit?
I guess.
"In the moment of need, remember the seed."
A little bit of Jumanji wisdom there.
There it is.
[LATCH CLICKS]
Milo and I will break in and get the camels.
Grandpa, you stay here on lookout. Keep a low profile.
Got it? Low profile.
If anyone tries to enter the livery,
just, I don't know, whistle or something.
Sure thing.
[SMOLDERS]
That's not when you smolder.
It's not the moment for it. Forget it.
I did it. I don't know what it was.
Look like your stomach is upset.
Like you ate something bad.
[♪♪♪]
Oh, man.
I'm sweating. I'm sweating.
Stealing makes me very uncomfortable,
which is not ideal for a burglar.
[DOOR SHUTS]
So the fruit is in the tree.
But you can't get to it
without going through the water
or whatever that is.
Get boiled or eaten by piranhas or something.
"Follow the flame."
I think that's how we get there.
But I don't know how I'm supposed to make that jump.
I mean, it's doable...
but I don't have my usual explosiveness.
- Ugh! - Wh... Ho! Yo!
Ho, ho, ho! Wow!
[GRUNTS]
[OBERON CHUCKLES]
[GRUNTING]
Yes!
[SCREAMS]
Martha! Ho!
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
[WATER BUBBLING]
Martha!
Oh...
[GASPS, COUGHING]
- Martha! - Oh, it's really heavy.
Ugh! You okay? Give me your hand.
There you go.
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
- [SCREAMS] - [GROANS]
[BOTH GROAN]
Ow. Oh...
[GRUNTS, PANTING]
Wait a second.
- What...? - The hell, man?
Oh, my God!
- The hell, man? - Oh, my God.
- Fridge? - Yeah.
Martha?
Yeah.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING, LAUGHING]
Hey, move along. Nothing to see here.
What'd you say?
I said, keep walking, pal.
Nothing to see here. Beat it.
- What'd you say? - Beat it, get out of here.
What'd you say?
[GROANS]
[YELLS]
I said, scram!
[♪♪♪]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
You want a piece of me? Yeah, come on, come on.
What do you got? What do you got? Come on!
- [LAUGHS] - [ALL YELLING]
Come and get it. Yeah!
- [ALL YELL] - [YELLS]
Come on, you bastards!
Ha, wow! Ha, ha!
Here, camel, camel.
Come on, let's go.
[SIGHS]
They are proud and majestic animals, aren't they?
[CAMEL BURPS, BELLOWS]
Oh, you're welcome. Heh.
Did you...? Were you just talking to them?
Um, press your menu. Uh, it's right here.
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
"Linguistics."
You can talk to animals.
Yes.
It appears that I speak camel.
Can you ask them to come with us and...?
[CAMEL BELLOWING]
Excuse me.
They're willing to talk.
Uh, they wanna know what's in it for them
and how much luggage we have.
Will you look at me? Oh!
I mean, what am I supposed to do with this?
You read the map.
I don't wanna read the map. I'm supposed to be her.
Instead, there's actual hair growing out of my face!
Sorry. All bodies are beautiful, even this one.
Wait a second.
[YELLS]
[GRUNTS]
- Oh, this is amazing! - Careful.
Fridge...
Yo, this thing is insane!
Be careful. That body is not a toy.
No, it's a machine.
And on top of that...
boobs.
Touch my boobs, and I will murder you.
Too late. It was literally the first thing I did.
Ew!
[GRUNTING]
Hey, hey, don't do that.
Let's take this berry and go meet them.
Relax, girl.
I'm trying that flying acrobat thing you did.
- Don't. We have the berry. - Check this out.
- It's not necessary. - Omaha, Omaha!
- Hut, hut, hike! - Wait.
[YELLS]
Fridge, be careful! I am telling you, that body's a weapon.
You don't know what it's capable of.
This is amazing!
That body's a loaded gun!
Yeah! And this gun's about to go off!
Whoo... Oh!
Oh, my God!
Fridge!
- Come here. - Ugh!
Oh, my God. Goddamn it!
- Here, I got you. I got ya. - Ugh!
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
[BOTH GRUNT]
[GROANS]
[PANTING]
[GROANING]
Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no!
Oh, my God, that was awful.
I hate being the map guy!
Let's get out of here.
[GRUNTS]
[MEN YELLING]
Switchblade! There he is.
SWITCHBLADE: Bravestone!
I told you to stay the hell away from my wife!
- We got company. - What did you do?
All right, guys, this is the moment. We need you now.
[BELLOWING]
Uh, they said that we can get away out the back door.
- Are you talking to that camel? - Yes.
That's Lucille and Hank.
And Jeffrey's in the back.
[♪♪♪]
- Hey! - Hey.
- We should get going. - What happened?
My grandpa beat up 45 strangers.
That woman's husband is trying to kill him.
Mm.
Is that the desert fruit?
Yeah. It's a Jumanji berry,
and it weighs like 100 pounds.
My grandpa will carry it.
[MEN YELLING]
We should get out of here.
Come on, Grandpa. Let's go.
- I could take them. - RUBY: What?
What? We escaped.
- I said, I could take them. - Oh, Eddie.
No, Grandpa Eddie, that's Switchblade!
I'm telling you, there's a time when you run.
Then there's a time in life, like now, where you stay...
[MISSILE WHISTLING]
Yeah! Yeah!
ALL [CHANTING]: Switchblade! Switchblade!
Nice shot, Switchblade!
[ELECTRONIC CHIMES ECHO]
[ALL GRUNTING]
- OBERON: Oh! - Phew.
[PANTING]
[SIGHS]
What?
[♪♪♪]
[BIRD SCREECHING]
[CAMELS BELLOWING]
We should see Mount Zhatmire pretty soon.
You know, Gladys and I took a road trip before she passed.
We went on a ceramics tour
through the Southwest.
I lost my restaurant so you could drive around
- and look at ashtrays? - Yes, Ed.
That's what you do when you retire.
You explore your interests.
I don't have interests.
Guys like me, we don't retire!
We work, and then we keep working,
and then, eventually, we die.
But you retired me. You retired me.
It's a wonder I lasted as long as I did.
- What? - You're a difficult man, Ed.
You don't abandon your best friend, Milo.
When I lost the restaurant, I lost everything!
You...?
[CAMEL BELLOWS]
Yes. Yes, I know he is.
- Are you talking to my camel? - Yes, I'm talking to the camel.
And he can tell that you're a pain in the ass.
My camel's taking your side?
[BELLOWS]
And he's not your camel.
He's just giving you a ride.
Oh! Well, how about the both of you go screw yourselves?
- What did you just say? - Guys!
You and me, we gonna settle this right here, right now!
[MURMURS]
- I'll show you. - What are you doing?
- Don't worry about it. - Milo, what are you doing?
Hold on. Wait, wait. Here we go.
You want a piece of me, huh? That's what you want?
You do not want a piece of him, Milo, I'm telling you.
Oh, that's where you're wrong, young man.
'Cause I do want a piece.
I want a big piece.
See, Eddie, what you don't know is that for the last 15 years,
I've been studying tai chi.
And right now,
I am harnessing my chi.
And when I'm done, I'm gonna whup your ass.
Milo, I am telling you, this is not a good idea.
- [YELLS] - [GROANS]
[BRAVESTONE YELLS, GRUNTS]
No!
- [GROANING] - [GROANS]
Oh, dude!
You gotta stop killing everybody.
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[GRUNTING]
All right, then.
Well, I guess that's settled.
[♪♪♪]
The camels just stopped.
[BELLOWING]
This is as far as they go.
To get to Jurgen's fortress, they said that we can
head down this path here and make a right.
Then we're in his territory.
And they don't wanna go there
because they don't want to die.
We don't wanna die either.
[SMOLDERS]
He's the worst Bravestone of all time.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[ROPES CREAKING]
[♪♪♪]
So we have to get across... this.
[SIGHS]
Okay, we can do this. We can do this.
We have to take our time, make careful decisions.
What are you talking about? It's obvious.
We start on that bridge there,
then jump to that one that heads to the right,
and then those look like two sides of a trapezoid...
[GASPS]
Geometry. That's what it's for!
Maybe this character's not totally worthless.
[SIGHS]
- I'll go first. - Really?
[ROPES CREAKING]
You see? It's no big deal.
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT PLAYING]
Oh. What's going on?
- Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, no.
[WOOD CREAKING]
- RUBY: No. - Grandpa!
Ah, crap.
Ah, geez.
What the hell?
- MING: It's okay. We can do this. - RUBY: Yeah?
It's about finding the right timing.
- Come on, come on, come on. - Follow me.
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTS]
Come on!
BRAVESTONE: Come on, Milo, come on!
Ah! Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh! Oh, Lord. - Here.
Oh, okay.
Hey, you guys.
Is that rock... moving?
- [RUMBLING] - [WIND WHISTLING]
- Oh, no. - What?
Well, now, this is a problem.
- OBERON: Come on, what is it? - MOUSE: Oh, my.
- BRAVESTONE: Spit it out! - OBERON: What is it?
- RUBY: Tell us! - MING: Tell us! Milo!
- [SCREECHING] - [SCREAMS]
[GROWLS, ROARING]
Those are mandrills.
- We should go. Go, go! - Go!
[MANDRILLS ROARING, SCREECHING]
That one! Obtuse angle!
Note the distinctive and colorful pigment
around their face and buttocks.
Mandrills are the heaviest of all monkeys.
Even heavier than baboons, with which they are often confused.
OBERON: And now head for the rhombus!
Come on. Hurry up.
- Rhombus! Rhombus! - Come on.
[♪♪♪]
OBERON: No, Martha!
- You're on the wrong bridge! - What?
The perpendicular one!
Martha!
[GROWLING, ROARS]
[SCREAMING]
Martha!
No!
OBERON: Spencer, behind you!
[HOOTING, SCREECHING]
BRAVESTONE: Jump!
Come on, I got you!
[YELLING]
Spencer!
[GRUNTING]
[ROARING]
- [MANDRILL SCREECHES] - [MING YELLS]
- [GRUNTING] - [MANDRILL HOOTING]
Oh, no! Ow! Ow!
[GRUNTING]
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[GRUNTS, SCREAMING]
Oh, no! No! Ow! Ow!
Get off!
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLING, ROARING]
Come on.
[MANDRILLS SCREECHING]
All right, bring it on.
[♪♪♪]
Come on, come here. Ha, ha!
- Grandpa! - Ow!
Grandpa! Enough!
- Grandpa, stop! - Yeah!
They're gone!
- [YELLS] - [LAUGHING]
- Whoa! - Yeah!
[PANTING]
[MANDRILLS SCREECHING, HOOTING]
Come on!
Give me your hand!
- What? - Trust me!
[GRUNTS]
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTS, PANTING]
[♪♪♪]
Oh! Go.
Last one. Aim for the center of the parabola!
- [ANKLE SNAPS] - [GROANS]
Oh, damn. Ugh! Son of a...
Ow!
[YELLS]
Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Eddie? - Milo!
Eddie! Hey, Eddie, where you going?
I need your help, Eddie.
[SCREECHING, ROARS]
Eddie!
[BOTH YELLING]
Oh!
[MANDRILLS SCREECHING]
- Oh! - Ugh.
[BOTH YELL, GROAN]
Eddie! Milo!
[GROANS]
Oh!
[BRAVESTONE GRUNTING]
[MANDRILLS HOOTING, SCREECHING]
[ROARING]
- OBERON: Seriously? - Later.
- Run! - Run!
[SCREAMS]
[ALL GASPING]
- [ROARS] - [YELLS]
[HORSE WHINNYING]
[♪♪♪]
[MANDRILLS SCREECHING]
MAN: Hyah!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Hey, guys.
Who the hell's this?
RUBY: Alex, what are you doing here?
Bethany thought you might need some help.
- Where is Bethany? - She's right here.
You mean...?
[NEIGHS, WHINNYING]
"Oh, my God, right?
Like, I'm a total horse.
I can't believe that we found you guys.
[SINGSONG VOICE] Hi."
Yep, that's Bethany. Ha-ha-ha. What's up, girl?
Hey.
Oh, we brought you some clothes.
You must be freezing.
[♪♪♪]
So, uh, this horse is a character in the game?
Yeah. Cyclone's his name.
[WHINNIES]
- How's that feel? - I don't know.
I sprained it pretty good.
Where'd you get these clothes?
When I realized how far north we were going,
- we stopped to go shopping. - Ah.
You can shop here? How did you know that?
I was here for 20 years, kiddo.
At least I got rid of that stupid hat.
Now I got this stupid hat.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
It's something, isn't it?
Yeah, it's something.
You know, Eddie...
you didn't lose everything when you lost the restaurant.
You still got a lot, man.
[SIGHS]
I lost my friend.
So did I.
[♪♪♪]
I'm sorry, Milo.
Hey, I'm sorry too, Eddie.
I should have tracked you down a long time ago.
I'm glad you came over for coffee.
[CHUCKLES]
What made you do it, huh?
I mean, why now?
Milo, what's going on?
[♪♪♪]
You're sick.
How bad?
I don't have much time left.
Son of a bitch.
But I count myself lucky, Eddie.
I was married to a wonderful woman.
I got to live a wonderful life.
And not everybody can say that.
That's why I wanted to make things better with you.
And now that they are...
well, I'm...
I'm happy about that too.
Grandpa, Milo. Come on, we gotta go.
OBERON: "The Fortress."
Looks like the last level.
Okay, so we, uh, climb that mountain
and then we sneak in somehow.
MING: Yeah, and then we steal the jewel
before the Brothers Kababik get there.
- And then show it to the sun? - Sounds like a plan.
What?
I'm sorry, I think I missed the "plan" part of the plan.
That last level almost killed us all. I can barely walk.
Your grandpa beats the hell out of the wrong guy
or we get attacked by a bear, what am I supposed to do?
I'm not gonna beat up the wrong guy.
You are gonna beat up the wrong guy!
You're not a good Bravestone!
You're too stubborn and pissed off.
You keep getting us killed.
What the hell you talking about?
And Milo...
And I say this with all due respect, sir.
...is not a good person to be the zoologist.
He talks too slow, and by the time
he gets to the point, you're dead!
Once again, no offense.
None taken.
And let me tell you why.
- Because my friend Bernard... - You see?
You're a thief who's too neurotic to steal,
Bethany's a horse...
[WHINNIES, SNORTS]
All I know is, we are stuck here again,
we are running out of lives, and my ankle is killing me! Ahh!
- Oh, my God! - Fridge!
Fridge! Are you okay?
OBERON: Yo, you guys gotta see this!
[♪♪♪]
["WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE" BY GUNS N' ROSES PLAYING]
That's what the water looked like at the tree.
When we...
BOTH: Switched bodies.
[NICKERING]
["WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE" CONTINUES PLAYING]
[CYCLONE WHINNIES]
♪ Welcome to the jungle We got fun and games ♪
♪ We got everything you want Honey, we know the names ♪
♪ We are the people That you find ♪
♪ Whatever you may need... ♪
[ALL SHUDDERING]
- Goddamn, that is cold! - MING: Oh!
Oh! Oh, man! It's freezing!
What the hell, man?
Yes!
I missed you so much.
Oh, my God, you guys, hi.
Ahem, Spencer?
[CHUCKLES]
- Hey. - Hey.
- Grandpa? - Yeah, what?
[NEIGHS]
Milo?
[WHINNIES]
You should see the size of your...
Phew. Damn.
I never thought I'd be this happy to shrink.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I have never seen anything
quite like that before.
Oh, my God, it's so good
to be able to talk again with words.
- Spencer, hi! - Hey, Bethany.
We have so much catching up to do.
I wanna hear about New York.
But it feels like this isn't the perfect moment.
Right. Like, later.
Later.
- Better? - Yeah.
Much.
I got hair! Heh, heh!
For the first time in 40 years. I gotta go tell Milo.
- Be careful out there, Grandpa. - Yeah.
- How's your ankle? - Hm?
- Your ankle. - It's a little sore.
Not as bad as you were making it seem.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
You were making a big deal of it. It's not that bad.
[MEN CHATTERING]
[WHINNYING]
Hey! Get the hell away from that horse!
Freeze!
MING: Milo! Hey!
OBERON: Wait, which ankle was it?
- Hold it. - Hey, hey, hey.
Get your hands off of me!
Hey! I'm with you, Milo.
I'm right here.
[WHINNIES]
Guys, guys.
Eddie and Milo.
They got them.
[♪♪♪]
MOUSE: There's ice everywhere,
and there's only one road in.
It's covered with guards. I don't know how we'll get in.
OBERON: Hm. Whoa!
Oh, okay. I see a dungeon
at the top of this ice wall.
That must be where they're keeping your grandpa.
And Milo is probably in this, like, barn thing
all the way on the other side of the place.
Okay. We gotta split up.
One team goes to get Milo, the other busts out Grandpa.
But how do we get in?
Fridge, do you have
any ice-climbing equipment in your backpack?
You mean something like this?
- BRAVESTONE: Just like that. - See?
That's why I'm the backpack guy.
- That's why. - Yeah. You're great at that.
Yeah, I know.
Martha, will you come with me?
Of course.
[♪♪♪]
I forgot what this part feels like.
It's scary.
- Yeah. - Hey.
We can do it. This team can do anything.
Nobody knows that better than me.
- Yeah. - Come on, you guys.
Bring it in.
[CHANTING] Be aggressive.
Be, be aggressive.
Be aggressive.
Be, be aggressive. Come on, guys.
That's not what I thought this was. No.
We should just go.
Okay, just... Go, team.
[♪♪♪]
[VEHICLES RUMBLING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
SEAPLANE: Okay.
I'm gonna try to sneak in with them.
In this outfit, I might be able to pass. You guys stay here...
What? No way.
Now's the moment. Stay here.
- Alex, no! - Go. Good luck, Alex.
Come on.
What are you talking about, "Come on"? Bethany.
Bethany!
[♪♪♪]
MAN: Turn right.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
You there. Stay where you are.
Who, us?
Are you the Brothers Kababik?
- Are we the who? - Are you the Brothers Kababik?
Yes.
We are them. It is we. Us.
We are the Brothers Cadabra... Kadabrik.
He is one brother,
and I am the other brother.
We... We got different mothers.
But we, uh... We came to get the thing that we came to get.
Brothers Kababik,
on behalf of Jurgen the Brutal,
welcome to Zhatmire Stronghold.
Ah, thank you.
[♪♪♪]
[WIND WHISTLING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
There's something I have to ask you.
Okay.
Why didn't you come visit when you were supposed to?
You canceled the first time,
then you were gonna come for Halloween. You cancel again.
Then the next time I hear from you,
you tell me we should take a break?
[SIGHS]
It's just... I saw all your pictures on Instagram,
and you looked like you were having so much fun, and...
I just got really insecure or something.
Like I wasn't the guy I thought I was.
Or I wasn't the guy you thought I was.
Which would be even worse.
Spencer, do you think I'm not...
totally terrified all the time?
I got to school, and suddenly,
for the first time ever, people really liked me.
But I'm always thinking that...
I don't know, like it's...
Like it's just a matter of time
before somebody figures out who I really am.
But then I see you.
And you're the person who makes me feel good...
about who I really am.
When you're, like, scared and insecure,
that's when you need your people the most.
[CHUCKLES]
[GRUNTS]
Hey, Mr. Walker.
[WHINNIES]
Why the long face?
Dad joke. Sorry. Can't help it.
[SNORTS]
Let's get you out of here.
- [CLICKS] - [GRUNTS]
[WHINNIES]
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
[SNORTING]
Okay.
It's just an obstacle course.
You were good at those.
[GRUNTS]
- [YELLS] - [GASPS]
- [GRUNTING] - [YELLS]
[♪♪♪]
MING: All right, all right, get a room.
[LAUGHS]
Grandpa... let's get you out of there.
Here.
- Unh! - Whoa.
Let's blow this joint, huh?
We still have to find the jewel.
It must be in a vault or treasure room or something.
Yeah, that's how it works in these games.
I passed a vault on the way up to this dump.
Single access, 3-foot-thick steel door.
Only way in is through a grate in the ceiling.
[♪♪♪]
- [CLICKS] - [GASPS]
Hoo... Oh. Huh.
I think I got it now.
Just stay on...
the raised ones.
- [CLICKS] - [GASPS]
[ELECTRONIC CHIME ECHOES]
[♪♪♪]
[WOMAN SCREAMING IN DISTANCE]
Jurgen the Brutal awaits.
So, tell me, which brother is which?
Um, how do you mean?
Which brother is which?
Which of you is Augustus and which is Tomatoli?
Um... I am Augustus.
And I'm Tomatolik.
Augustus Kababik.
The cleverest man in all of Jumanji.
Yes, I'm totally that man.
- And Tomatoli Kababik. - That's me.
The bravest eunuch.
- Wait a minute, what? - Did you say, "Eunuch"?
Tomatoli Kababik, everyone knows the tale
of your great and generous sacrifice.
How you gave your testicles
in order to save the region from the floods.
There might be a little confusion.
Of course. Everybody knows the story
about my little brother and his famous testicles.
- Wherever they may be. - Wherever they may be.
All right, let's back up. Let's go back a little bit.
- Let's clear some stuff up. - He's super brave.
I've always been the super clever one,
and he's always been super brave.
- And super ball-less. - Stop saying that!
- Both of my balls are right here! - In spirit.
- Hey... - They're here in spirit.
[WHISPERS] Always.
[WHISPERS] Of course.
Right, bro?
Right.
I got no balls.
[♪♪♪]
RUBY: There's the chest.
Okay. You're up, Grandpa.
- Who, me? - Yes. You're the cat burglar.
- Huh? - Your character, Ming.
- Ming? - Yes, Ming.
Your avatar. That's her name.
In your satchel, you have lockpicks.
Lockpicks? Why would I have lockpicks?
Because Ming's the cat burglar.
Don't you think one of you should do this?
- You have the skills. - I have the skills?
Not you. Ming.
Right. Ming.
Please don't ask who Ming is.
[♪♪♪]
[NEIGHS]
Not bad, huh?
Now we just gotta figure out how to get you out of here.
[HINGES CREAKING]
[RUMBLING, CLANGS]
Shall we?
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
Huh.
Now, that's cool.
Welcome. May I offer you a piece of cake?
No! No!
No!
[PLATE SHATTERS]
No, thank you.
[♪♪♪]
[ROPE CREAKING]
Steady.
- [HYENA ROARING] - [GROANS]
- [YELLS] - [JAWS SNAPPING]
Ha! I'd like to see your friend Ming do that!
[HYENA GROWLING, YIPPING]
We got an issue here.
OBERON: Oh, thank you.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Thank you.
[CHATTER QUIETS]
Brothers Kababik, I present Jurgen the Brutal.
[♪♪♪]
At last,
we meet on this historic day.
Yes, it is so great to meet you.
Your Honor, if that be the Falcon Jewel
upon your thick and meaty neck,
perhaps we should...
take it.
Today we forge an unbreakable alliance.
Your family will join me,
and land by land, we'll take the world.
So I ask, on this historic day,
where is she?
- Uh, where's who? - Who you talking about?
Your sister.
Soon to be my bride.
You know what? I think that there's been a misunderstanding.
Where is your sister?
Which sister were we talking about?
Debbie or... Brooke?
Or Sierra?
Where is your sister?
She's getting ready, back at the hotel.
She's doing what brides do on their wedding day.
Hanging with the girls, getting her hair done, mani-pedi.
If you come here without your sister...
I just might have to cut off your heads.
- Oh, no! No, no, no. Don't. - Hey. Hey. Hey!
- God, no. - Hey, get off!
- No. No. - So I'll ask one last time:
- OBERON: Getting a mani-pedi! - Where is your sister?
I'm right here.
Gwendolyn Hortencia Lewelda Kababik?
Is that you?
Um, yes.
That is me.
Now, please,
O Brutal One, release my brothers.
CAVENDISH: And is it your intention, on this day,
at this hour, to wed Jurgen the Brutal of Zhatmire?
Yep. That's my plan.
And is it your intention to mother his children
and forge in blood this union with your family?
Yes.
Gwendolyn Kababik...
known throughout the world
for your beauty and cunning.
And now you're mine.
Um... May I hold the Falcon Jewel?
Of course, my bride.
Thank you.
[WHISPERS] Get it.
Jurgen the Brutal!
The Brothers Kababik have been delayed in Gorek.
These are impostors!
- MAN: Impostors? - Seize them!
[IN NORMAL VOICE] No, no, no. Oh, no. We can explain.
Oh, no, no, no.
I forgot to tell you one thing.
I have a boyfriend.
[♪♪♪]
[ALL GASPING]
[GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
[ALL GRUNTING]
Get back. Stay back.
- Stay away. - Get back!
MOUSE: Get back!
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[GROWLS]
- Get out of here! - I will torch you, bitches.
I will literally burn your face.
[GROANING]
[♪♪♪]
I'll meet the brothers in Gorek.
Kill them all!
MOUSE: Go get him!
Go get the jewel!
Don't worry about us. Just go!
Backpack.
OBERON: Get away! I know geometry.
I'm not messing around, you guys. Get away!
Fridge, we're gonna die!
♪ Ooh, baby, I love your way ♪
♪ Every day, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, baby, I love your way ♪
Anybody wanna dance with the bride?
- [YELLS] - [GRUNTING]
♪ Before my eyes ♪
♪ And they're moving ♪
♪ Across the page ♪
[YELLS]
♪ Suddenly the day Turns into night ♪
[♪♪♪]
♪ But don't, no, no, no Hesitate ♪
[YELLS]
You want a piece? Come on!
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
Nunchucks.
♪ Ooh, baby, I love your way ♪
♪ Every, every day ♪
♪ Want to tell you I love your way ♪
[SINGSONGY] Awesome
[GRUNTS]
♪ Want to be with you Every day ♪
- [YELLS] - [GRUNTS]
We did it.
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Let's go!
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTING]
[ROPE CREAKING]
- Come on, come on! - OBERON: Hurry!
[METAL POPPING]
Whoa! Unh! Whoa!
[GASPS]
Look!
- Is that Spencer? - Oh, my God.
[GRUNTING]
[RATTLING]
[HORSE WHINNIES]
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
[♪♪♪]
[GRUNTING]
[GROANS]
[METALLIC SCRAPING]
No!
Spencer!
- Oh! - Oh!
Who are you?
[YELLS]
[ELECTRONIC BEEP]
I'm Dr. Smolder Bravestone.
[GRUNTS]
Spencer!
[NEIGHS]
- He says to get on his back. - Who, me?
[NEIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
[ALL GASP]
[♪♪♪]
[YELLS]
[SIGHING]
[METALLIC CREAKING]
[♪♪♪]
Oh, no. Milo!
- Oh, my God. - What's he doing?
Wait.
Milo!
- [NEIGHING] - [MING SCREAMS]
[SNORTING]
Yeah, Milo!
[RUBY GASPS]
Go!
We're coming, Spencer!
"Show it to the sun."
Grandpa, the jewel!
You gotta show it to the sun! Get ready!
Come on, Milo!
- SEAPLANE: Go! - RUBY: Come on, come on!
[♪♪♪]
Yeah!
- Call out its name. - Call out its name.
Call out its name!
ALL: Jumanji!
What'd they say?
[NEIGHS]
Jumanji?
[GROANS]
Oh!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[♪♪♪]
[LAUGHS]
- Oh! - Yes!
Ha, ha, we won!
- We did it! - Hey.
[LAUGHS]
Put me down.
- Put me down, goddamn it. Stop! - Okay.
Is this what you were looking for? This little thing?
Grandpa, you guys were incredible.
Yeah, that's the thing about Milo. He's got a lot of skills.
Milo and Eddie.
[DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE]
Uh, what are we doing here now?
[♪♪♪]
Whoa!
Well done, intrepid adventurers.
You have saved Jumanji. Again.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
And now, with your permission,
Dr. Bravestone, I will take the jewel from here.
I will protect it with my life and return it to the care
of the elder at the Avian Province.
And so your work here is done.
All of Jumanji thanks you. And, sadly, this is where we part.
I don't know what's sad about it.
I'm ready to get the hell out of here.
[HORSE NEIGHING]
What?
[NEIGHS]
Really?
[NEIGHS]
Hey, guys, you're not gonna believe this.
What'd he say?
- He says that he... - He wants to stay.
[SNORTS, NEIGHS]
He says somebody's gotta stay and look after this place.
And that he's 75 years old and he just learned how to fly.
[NICKERS]
But he won't be able to get out.
He knows.
Oh, Milo.
I feel like I, uh, just got you back.
Now I'm losing you for good.
[SNORTS SOFTLY]
"You're not losing me, buddy. I'll always be with you."
Being your partner...
is one of the best things I ever got to be.
[SNORTS, NICKERS]
He says, "Thank you."
No, no.
Thank you, Milo.
[NICKERS SOFTLY]
[WHINNIES]
[♪♪♪]
[NEIGHS]
Yes!
- Take care, Milo! - RUBY: Bye!
- SEAPLANE: Go, Milo! - So long, Milo!
OBERON: Bye-bye, Mr. Walker!
That's my partner right there.
[NEIGHS]
Everybody should be so lucky to have a friend like Milo.
Come on, Grandpa. Let's go home.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming to get me.
You do it again, your ass is gonna be stuck here, Spencer!
'Cause I'm not coming back!
[CHUCKLES]
[ELECTRICAL CRACKLING]
[SIGHS]
[PANTING]
Everybody okay?
Yeah.
Grandpa, you okay?
Yeah, I'm good.
Holy shit.
[CHUCKLES]
[BOTH LAUGH]
SPENCER: Strike. Square one. Counterstrike.
EDDIE: The fat one on the bottom?
SPENCER: The fat... No, the fat one above the R.
- EDDIE: Okay. - Atop number two.
- EDDIE: Yeah. Yeah. - So strike, strike.
- Yeah. - Counterstrike.
Then kick me. O.
[CHUCKLES]
Let me tell you something.
- Getting old... - I know. Getting old sucks.
Getting old...
...is a gift.
I forget that sometimes.
But it is.
What more could a guy possibly want?
Hey, guys.
How was your day?
It was really great.
Yeah.
Spencer taught me how to play a video game.
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells Jingling ♪
♪ Ring tingle tingling too... ♪
♪ Come on It's lovely weather ♪
♪ For a sleigh ride together With you... ♪
Oh, hell, no.
[DOOR BELLS JINGLE]
[EDDIE SIGHS, GROANS]
You okay, Grandpa?
Yeah.
A lot of good memories here.
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
Eddie.
Eddie, is that you?
EDDIE: Nora.
- Hey. - Oh, hi.
Hey, guys.
- MARTHA: Hi. - Hi.
What's up, bro?
So how's business?
Oh, you know how it is.
My manager quit six months ago, moved to Philly.
Place has been kind of a mess ever since.
It's hard to find people who really know how to do this.
Oh, well...
I don't have to tell you this.
Mm.
So you need some help around here?
You mean it?
I mean, I...
I'd be honored.
Well...
It's really good to see you, Eddie.
Likewise.
[SMOLDERS]
Um...
Um, I'm... I'm gonna take this
where I was going and...
I'll be right back.
You guys gotta come to New York too.
Yeah, I can't wait.
This team, forever.
Forever.
Always.
Uh, always and forever?
[ALL LAUGHING]
- Yeah, let's keep close though. - Of course, yeah.
One thing.
Can we all agree?
Let's never go back there.
- We already agreed on that. - That's fine.
[LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
♪ Many a tear has to fall ♪
♪ Doo-doo doo-doo doo ♪
♪ But it's all in the game ♪
♪ Doo-doo doo-doo Doo-doo doo-doo ♪
[DOOR OPENS]
REPAIRMAN: Sorry it's so late.
Yeah, it's that time of year.
- Everyone's heaters are broken. - Oh, it's no problem.
I'm just glad you made it.
The furnace is right over here.
[♪♪♪]
Is that an old video game console?
Hm?
Oh, yeah, probably.
It belongs to my son.
Hm.
Yeah, I'm a big gamer.
I've never seen anything like it.
Well, it looks like it's broken.
Maybe you shouldn't touch it.
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT PLAYING]
[DRUMBEATS STOP]
[SQUAWKS]
[RUMBLING]
[OSTRICHES SQUAWKING]
[♪♪♪]
Subtitles by explosiveskull Sync by GoldenBeard
[♪♪♪]
[RHYTHMIC DRUMBEATS PLAYING]
[OSTRICH SQUAWKS]