1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,040 This programme contains very strong language 2 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:10,680 How much is all this worth anyway? 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,720 I don't know. Like, ten... 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,680 ..seven... This one's probably about fucking 20 or something. 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,800 We could be looking at making, like, 50 quid, like. 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,120 Oh, boy, that's class. New pair of shoes, boy. 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,480 We could get so much with this. Yeah! What are you getting? 8 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,560 See, I've seen a fuckin', erm, a big blow-up doll in, erm... 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,320 ..in the shop. It's, like, this woman, right? 10 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,560 And she's got, like, long, curly blonde hair 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,040 and when you squeeze her tits 12 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,720 she goes, "Ooh!" 13 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:36,520 What does she go? Do it again? 14 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,600 She'll go... 15 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:40,680 "Ooh!" 16 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,440 When you squeeze her arse as well, she'll go 17 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,840 "Ooh!" 18 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,680 I would call mine Sapphire. 19 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,040 I'd call mine Reuben. 20 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,200 That's a guy's name, though. 21 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,680 No, it's not, is it? Yeah, Reuben. 22 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,040 Yeah, that's a guy's name. 23 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:01,960 Reuben... 24 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,000 Reuben. Reuben! 25 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,960 Yeah, see? Reuben... Oh, yeah. 26 00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,240 Shit. 27 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,320 Fuck. 28 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,320 "Ooh!" 29 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,480 "Sapphire, ooh!" 30 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,320 That handsome-lookin' fella there is me, Conor MacSweeney. 31 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,600 "Ooh!" And that's me best pal, Jock. 32 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,760 Everyone's always going on about me trying to be just like him. 33 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,080 What a load of bullshit! 34 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,440 Yeah, we have similar haircuts, but that's just the fashion. 35 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,640 Aside from that, we have our own individual shit goin' on. 36 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,560 Jock's the kind of fella who'd do anything for a friend. 37 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,720 Like that time I bumped into Billy Murphy... 38 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:50,880 Hi, how's it goin'? 39 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,520 ..and he wanted to borrow me phone. 40 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,000 Give me yer fuckin' phone! 41 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,000 HE GIGGLES 42 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,080 He's the local nut job. 43 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,640 Jock found this site on the internet 44 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,360 where ya can send them photos of someone 45 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,720 and they'd send ya back a mask of their face. 46 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,000 All right, Billy? 47 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,240 He then stole a bike from outside the Garda station 48 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,200 which belonged to Sergeant Healy. 49 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,840 When they went lookin' for Healy's bike in Billy's gaff, 50 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,440 they found hash plants instead. Shitloads of them. 51 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,840 Ya cunt! I'm gonna fuckin' kill ya. Shut the fuck up! 52 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,600 Do you like that? Do you like that? 53 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,080 Go on, get your tongue up me hole, prick. Shut up! Come on! 54 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,280 Come on, Healy, you'd like that, wouldn't ya? 55 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,840 And that was the end of me getting mugged. 56 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,400 Get into the fucking car! 57 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,960 It turned into a bit of a cat-and-mouse game 58 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:44,520 between Healy and Jock after that. 59 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,400 And, you know... Thank you! 60 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,480 Healy! 61 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,880 And here we are, minding our own business when... 62 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:03,720 There's two young fellas up on the roof stealing my lead. 63 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,000 All right, boy? 64 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,160 What the fuck are you doing? 65 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,280 Up there. 66 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,640 Fuckin' idiots. 67 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,960 Quick, put that on. 68 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:20,880 This is a girl's mask. 69 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,880 It's all they had in the Halloween shop. 70 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,440 They only had one mask in the Halloween shop? Yeah. 71 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:36,840 Wait, look! 72 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,040 Don't move! 73 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,080 Hey! 74 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,480 Whoa! 75 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,360 What are we gonna do? We can make that. 76 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,400 No, we can't! I've got short legs 77 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,120 and definitely not with these bags of lead. 78 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,880 I'll hold yer hand. 79 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:03,440 Fuck off. Come on, that way if you don't make it, I can pull you up. 80 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,040 What choice do we have? 81 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,440 Fuck it. All right. 82 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,520 On three? 83 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:13,400 BOTH: One... 84 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,280 Two... 85 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,080 Three! 86 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,880 AARGH! 87 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,360 A-a—argh! 88 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,320 Let go of my fuckin' hand! 89 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,160 Right, come on. 90 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,200 Principal Walsh's daughters. 91 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,680 Fuck! 92 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,080 Did they see our faces? I don't know. 93 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,320 Fuck it! Come on! Shit! 94 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:04,160 Jock's become a bit of a legend around Cork city. 95 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,640 No-one knows it's him behind the mask. They just call him... 96 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,920 ..Fake Billy. 97 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,400 All right, Fake Billy? 98 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,920 Who's the girlfriend? I'm not his girlfriend! 99 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,160 Fuck you! Fuckin' langers! 100 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,280 Oh, fuck! Fuck, shit... 101 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,960 Will you fuckin' hurry up? 102 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,000 You try doin' this on a racer! 103 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,280 Jock, wait up! 104 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,640 What is it? This lead is killin' me. I'm gettin' rid of it. 105 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,880 Yeah, good idea, I left mine in the dumpster. 106 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,240 Come on! 107 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,040 This is the English Market in the centre of the city. 108 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,240 And that's me mam. 109 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,840 She works as a fishmonger. 110 00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:56,240 Mam had me when she was 16, 111 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,400 which was old for our neighbourhood. 112 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,200 The market is a lovely place for a bike ride 113 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,360 if you ever get the chance. 114 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,000 Sorry! Coming through! 115 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,400 'Scuse me! 116 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,160 Sorry! Fuck me! You all right? 117 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,280 Sorry about that! 118 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,080 'Scuse me, coming through. Sorry! Sorry, like. 119 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,880 Mam has fuck-all going for her. 120 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,960 I mean, I'm pretty much her pride and joy. 121 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,840 Little fuckin' knacker. 122 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,160 Why is there always some dickhead 123 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,920 painting something when you're in a hurry? 124 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,320 Move, move, move! 125 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,920 My good paint! Jesus! 126 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,600 What the fuck's wrong with yous? 127 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,280 Just keep rubbing it fast. I can see it coming off slowly. 128 00:06:57,280 --> 00:07:01,000 I gotta get home for dinner. Mam's gonna kill me. Not like this. 129 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,400 Every guard in the city's looking 130 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,160 for two kids covered in this yellow shit. 131 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,280 What are we supposed to do so, go home naked? 132 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,720 There's a lot of mad fuckers in our neighbourhood 133 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,320 so you can get away with pretty much anything without being judged. 134 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,880 Well... Most of the time. 135 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,480 Gimme yer fuckin' wallets! 136 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,040 Do we look like we got wallets? 137 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,520 Nah, go on. See ya in school tomorrow, John-Paul. 138 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,360 Jock says stealin' is only really stealin' 139 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:13,240 when you rob somethin' people give a shit about. 140 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,960 And no-one gives a flyin' fuck about school uniforms. 141 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,200 We go to St Finan's Community School 142 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,120 which is the only school in the country 143 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,160 with a condom machine in the toilets. 144 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,160 And this is our beloved principal, Barry Walsh. 145 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,880 Your da's a prick! 146 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,560 Fuckin' Walsh's daughters... 147 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,560 Do you think they know it was us? 148 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,480 Nah... 149 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:49,360 We'd have been arrested already if they did, like. Yeah, that's true. 150 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,320 BOTH: Bollocks! 151 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,840 We're gonna have to use a carrot and a stick. 152 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:57,200 Where we going to get them? 153 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,600 No, ya tool, it's an expression. 154 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,080 We try and get them on our side by danglin' a carrot in front of them. 155 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:08,000 And if that doesn't work then we hit them with a stick. 156 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,600 Why? 157 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,040 Not a real carrot and not a real stick. 158 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,200 We're just gonna go over an' flirt with them 159 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,760 and ask them to keep their mouths shut. No! 160 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,680 I can't talk to them, boy. They're girls. 161 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,960 There's nothing to be scared of. Girls are just guys with tits. 162 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,720 Just do exactly what I do. 163 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,160 OK. 164 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,560 Just do exactly what you do. 165 00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,520 OK? OK? 166 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:35,880 Not now. Not now. 167 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,680 When we get up there... Up there. 168 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,360 You don't have to do it now. ..do it now. 169 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,240 Stop! Stop! 170 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:43,080 Fuck off! Fuck off! 171 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,840 How's it goin'? How's it goin'? 172 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,720 Hi. Would you look who it is? 173 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,280 Fake Billy and his girlfriend. 174 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:58,120 Shh! It's a secret. 175 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,640 I'm not his girlfriend. 176 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,080 Relax, babe. 177 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,800 Who knows? Him. 178 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,280 Him. Me. Me. Now the two of you. Now the two of you. 179 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,960 Promise not to tell anyone? 180 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,280 Depends. What's in it for us? Come 'ere and I'll tell ya. 181 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,360 What's that? What's what? 182 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,960 That little spot there on your lip? 183 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,280 That's just my lip. 184 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,960 Is it on my lip now? 185 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,440 Yeah, it is. Is it, yeah? 186 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,960 You all right? 187 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,320 INTERNALLY: Just copy what Jack does... 188 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,720 Just copy... 189 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,320 What are you doin'? 190 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,960 I was lookin' over yer shoulder. 191 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,560 And I thought I saw somethin' but it's gone now, so... 192 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,560 You're unreal at that. You're not too bad yerself. 193 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,960 Where'd you get that from? 194 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,520 It's just practice, isn't it? 195 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,880 I used to use, like, a load of tongue when I was younger. 196 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,080 But you realise fast enough 197 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,040 that that's not really the best method. Yeah, I know. 198 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,480 You can never go with the washing machine. That just doesn't work. 199 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:19,720 Let's do that again. 200 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,080 What's, erm... 201 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,120 ..what's it like being adopted? 202 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,680 I'm not adopted. 203 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,880 Hmm. 204 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:31,760 Is...? Er. OK. 205 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,960 Er... Why? What makes you think I am adopted? 206 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,600 No, like, I don't think you are, it's just... 207 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,920 ..er...you look adopted. 208 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,360 How do I look adopted? 209 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,440 Your hair is, like...really... 210 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,560 ..black. 211 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,600 Trying to say I'm black? 212 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,520 You're...you're black? 213 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,000 I didn't even notice. 214 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,480 You didn't? No. 215 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,720 Are you serious? 216 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:04,040 Oh, it's... You barely... Like, I see past pigment. 217 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:08,880 Can we change the subject? 218 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,320 Hi, sir. 219 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,360 I need to speak to you two in my office, now. Go. 220 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,280 See ya soon. 221 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,720 Go, will ya? Go! 222 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,760 I don't want you going near the two of them. 223 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,800 BOTH: Why? 224 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,000 It's embarrassing, OK? How is it embarrassing? 225 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,200 It's embarrassing for you? It's embarrassing for us. 226 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,520 We get picked on every day and you're just here making a scene? 227 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,920 I'm the principal of the school. 228 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,000 Everyone's looking! I'm your father, it's my school. 229 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,440 I don't want you being with those two lads. You're making a scene. 230 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,480 Look, I'll talk to you later on and you're in trouble. 231 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,480 You're in big trouble. Yeah. See you for dinner, so. 232 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,600 Right, that's it. You're both grounded as well. I love you. 233 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,920 Yeah, you're not going anywhere. Bye. See you at dinner! 234 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,880 This is the closest Healy has got to catching Jock 235 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,720 in a whole year of chasing him. 236 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,120 What a dickhead! 237 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,680 Your daughters are fine-looking girls, Principal Walsh. 238 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,440 You must be very proud. 239 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,680 They have nice clear skin, which is rare for our age. 240 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,960 Give me that! 241 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,560 Two masked teenagers from this school are wanted for robbery 242 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,520 and causing destruction of property in the city yesterday. 243 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,480 They fit your description. 244 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,960 Imagine that. Yeah, imagine. Imagine that. Imagine that. 245 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,680 Sorry, I don't understand what you mean, our description? 246 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:58,440 Well, one of them was tall, lanky, skinny, kind of goofy lookin'. 247 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,440 The other one... Small and fat. 248 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,920 Sort of ridiculous and slower. Much slower than the other one. 249 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,680 There's lots of people that look like us. 250 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,280 Our haircut, everyone copied us once we got our hair cut. 251 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,600 People are even trying to grow to look like us. 252 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,200 And shrink to look like us. 253 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,280 Where were you yesterday, both of you? 254 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,760 Mm... Not where you think we were, anyway. 255 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,360 No. Oh, yeah? Where were you? Where? 256 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,600 With Con's mam. 257 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,480 With your mam? With your mam? 258 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,880 Yep. 259 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,240 This was gonna hurt. 260 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,560 Mam has only two gears - 261 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,400 and one of them is broken. 262 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,960 I'm just off the phone to your principal. 263 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,040 What trouble has this dickhead got you into this time? 264 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,520 What are you blaming him for? 265 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,000 Cos you'd jump off a building if he fuckin' told you to. 266 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,240 No, I wouldn't... 267 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,080 Would you jump off a building? No. 268 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,400 Stupid. 269 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,080 A-a-argh! 270 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,360 Did you not get me text? 271 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,040 "If anyone asks, me and Jock were with you. Nice one." 272 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,720 You for fuckin' real? 273 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,120 They said you're wanted for stealing. That's strange. 274 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,040 Definitely, I'd remember something like that. 275 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,080 We didn't. We didn't. 276 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,360 Where were you? 277 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,360 Just...just hanging out, like. 278 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,720 Well, he's bringing me into the fuckin' school tomorrow. 279 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,400 Tell him that we were with you 280 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,360 and it'll be fine, all right? 281 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,080 You're a fuckin' tit-wreck of a child, you know that? 282 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,520 I'd do what to a child? 283 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,560 What?! 284 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,800 I think you have smashing tits, Mairead. 285 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,240 Jesus, Jock, would you fuck off to your own house? 286 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,120 I was just complimenting... 287 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,480 See you later, yeah? Yeah, I'll call over to you after dinner. 288 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,440 Why are you always giving Jock such a hard time? 289 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,240 Cos he's a total fuck-up and you're trying to be just like him. 290 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,520 No, I'm not. 291 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,920 You don't know what he's really like. No? 292 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,440 Tell me, so. What's he really like? 293 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,160 He's...he's sound. 294 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:08,080 A laugh to be around. He's not like the other fellas in school. 295 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,880 He makes me feel... 296 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,640 ..warm. 297 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,040 Are you gay? Is that what this is? 298 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,360 It's all right if you are. It would actually explain a lot. 299 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,960 No, Mam, I'm not gay. 300 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,760 But if I were, like, hypofarically... Hy... 301 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,440 Hypothetically. Hypothetically, if I were, 302 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,800 he'd be the guy I'd want to be gay with. 303 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,920 I actually just got a mental picture of... 304 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,120 SHE LAUGHS 305 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,120 ..Jock bumming you. 306 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,920 And it wasn't pretty! 307 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,720 You think Jock would be bumming me? 308 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,240 I'd be bumming Jock! No. 309 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,320 If anyone's bumming anyone... No! 310 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,280 No, Jock would be bumming you. You'd be his little bitch. 311 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,480 We'd take it in turns. 312 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,920 Oh, Jesus. 313 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,680 Your dad was just like that. He'd always have a laugh like that. 314 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,160 All we need to do is burn our uniforms 315 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,920 and nothin' will get traced back to us. 316 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,880 Me jumper's gone. 317 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,520 Who the fuck would take a school jumper covered in paint? 318 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:18,960 Whoo! 319 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,600 MUSIC: Peter And The Wolf by Prokofiev 320 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,840 CLANKING AND YELLING 321 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,760 Billy Murphy?! When the hell did he get out? 322 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,440 Not sure, but this could work out well for us. 323 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,440 We just let him wear that jumper round town. 324 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,120 The police will think it was him who did it. 325 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:44,160 What? 326 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:50,600 Mam stitched me name on the inside of that jumper. 327 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,680 Come on. 328 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,920 Hooo! 329 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,800 All right, Billy. 330 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,800 HE LAUGHS 331 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,200 All right, Billy. 332 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,800 SMASHING, CAT YOWLS 333 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,600 All right, lads. 334 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,000 What the fuck do you want? 335 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,200 Nothin', just sayin' hi. 336 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,400 And I definitely don't want that jumper you're wearin'. 337 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,080 Why don't you want it? 338 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,200 Is there something wrong with it? No. Just don't want it. 339 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,840 It's not something I'd ever wear, like. 340 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,760 Well, maybe I'll make ya wear it. 341 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:24,280 There's no fuckin' way you would make me wear that thing. 342 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,120 If I want you to wear it, you're going to fuckin' wear it, all right? 343 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,640 Not a chance, boy! 344 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,400 That's it. You'll fuckin' wear it! 345 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,000 All right, all right, he'll wear it. 346 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,760 Won't you, Jock? 347 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,600 What? 348 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,640 I've changed my mind. 349 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,480 I thought you just said you were gonna make him wear it. 350 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,280 No. Now I'm the one who's gonna wear it, all right? 351 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,600 Great, cos I don't wanna wear it. It's a manky old thing. 352 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,320 If I want you to wear it, you're gonna fuckin' wear it, all right? 353 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,560 There's no way you'll ever get that jumper on him. 354 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,560 Look, I'm fuckin' sick shit of the two of ye, all right? 355 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,880 Give me your fags and your money 356 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,840 or I'll kick the livin' shit out of the pair of ye. 357 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:08,880 Come on! 358 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,600 You're lucky I didn't give you a fuckin' dig. 359 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,560 HE COUGHS AND GROANS 360 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,880 Tell your mam I was askin' for her, all right? 361 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,720 Hiya. How's it going? 362 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,520 You're from the fish stall in the market, yeah? 363 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,760 I'm the mackerel guy! 364 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,880 That's what you say when you're serving me. 365 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,200 I know who you are. What are you doing here? 366 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,800 Got to question a few scumbags about a robbery. 367 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,040 What about you? 368 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,440 My son is not a scumbag. 369 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,520 Fuck. 370 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,760 Thanks for coming in, Ms MacSweeney. 371 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,920 Fifth time this year? Fourth. Oh. 372 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,960 So, Conor and Jock said they were with you on Wednesday. 373 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,280 That's correct. We went to the cinema. 374 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:39,600 What did you go and see? 375 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:43,960 One of the Batmans. 376 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,880 I don't know which one. 377 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,000 Don't ask me. I wasn't paying attention. 378 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,760 Which one? The second one. 379 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,560 Batman II. 380 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,240 What came out about 40 years ago, you know that, yeah? 381 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,280 Special screening. 382 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,080 We saw the editor's cut. Mm-hm. 383 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,720 What cinema did you go to? 384 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,040 ALL ANSWER DIFFERENTLY 385 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,280 Can we cut the bullshit, yeah? 386 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,080 Cut the bullshit? 387 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,960 I came here of my own free will to answer one simple fuckin' question. 388 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,680 Was my son Conor and his friend Jock with me on Wednesday? 389 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,240 And the answer's yes. 390 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:20,640 We went to see a film. 391 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,440 Me, Conor, Jock. Got popcorn. 392 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,840 End of fuckin' story. 393 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,480 Do you recognise this? 394 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,240 The same... One there. 395 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,080 One there. 396 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,440 Guards on patrol retrieved it 397 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,080 from a homeless fella seen wearing it around town. 398 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,480 Give us the jumper. 399 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,920 You're not fuckin' getting it! 400 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,160 Try it on. 401 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,040 It smells and it's dirty, like. I'm not putting this on. 402 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,320 Put the fuckin' thing on! 403 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,960 It's just my size. Can I keep it? 404 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:24,560 When it comes to delay tactics, I'm pretty much an expert. 405 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,800 I'll hold your head. You'll push your head out forward. 406 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,720 All right, that's it! Push. 407 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,120 Argh! 408 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,480 Well, you know what they say. 409 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,040 If the slipper fits, 410 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:46,520 you've found your glove. 411 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,440 What have you got there? 412 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,000 MAIREAD: Get off of him! 413 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,800 Come on. Hold his nose! 414 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,280 Hold his nose! 415 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,520 Open your fuckin' mouth. Don't open it, Con. 416 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,720 Swallow it. 417 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:12,040 GASPING FOR BREATH 418 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,600 I bet they're gonna do that good cop, dickhead cop thing. 419 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:32,840 Yeah, definitely. 420 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:36,680 Your mam'll be the good cop, the other two will be the dickheads. 421 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,560 You know I'd go to prison for you in the mornin' if you asked me to. 422 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,960 I'd do the same for you, but we're goin' to get through this. 423 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,600 I'm telling ya, the plan will work. 424 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,080 We stick with it. 425 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,320 Jock, we want to speak to Conor on his own for a minute. 426 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,280 No, I want Jock here. 427 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,560 I'm goin' to advise him. You mean intimidate? 428 00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,520 Intimate? Not intimate, intimidate. 429 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,240 And you know exactly what I mean! 430 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,840 Not really. Which one was I doin' with your daughter yesterday? 431 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,800 That was intimate I think, not the other one. 432 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,840 Can we get on with this? 433 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,600 Conor, they have yer school jumper, they know it was you. 434 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,720 Sgt Healy has promised, if you tell the truth, he won't press charges. 435 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,080 What, so they can arrest Jock instead, is it? 436 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,200 People take home the wrong school jumper all the time. 437 00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:44,000 Why do you think she felt the need to name tag it in the first place? 438 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,000 We didn't do nothin'. Why are you covering for him? 439 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,920 Do you really think he'd do the same for you? 440 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,720 He's like an addict, covering for his addiction. 441 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,800 No, I'm not. Yes, you are. 442 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,040 If Jock were a powder you'd be injecting him or snorting him. 443 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,960 So what if I was snorting him? 444 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,000 Better snortin' him than one of them other borin' pricks in my year. 445 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,920 Watch your language. 446 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,800 What did I say? You said prick. Prick's not a bad word. 447 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,080 Yes, it is. Is prick a bad word? 448 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,520 Yes, it is, and stop saying it. 449 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,920 Shit and fuck are bad words, prick's just a bit of fun. 450 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,360 Prick is just as bad as shit and fuck. 451 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,760 You're not allowed say any of them! 452 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:19,880 What about cunt? 453 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,880 What? 454 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:28,240 Conor. Please, don't make me one of them single mothers 455 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,760 with a convicted son. 456 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,920 Youth Detention Centres are designed to help people like Jock, 457 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,320 but it won't suit a cute little fella like you. 458 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,160 Trust me. 459 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,360 You know what? 460 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,520 You all have it in for Jock. 461 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,480 Everyone does. 462 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,360 The only person that's on his side is me 463 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,600 and you're sayin' I should fuck him over. 464 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,720 He's so misjudged, like. 465 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,680 He doesn't have it easy, 466 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,920 but he doesn't bitch and moan about it like most people. 467 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,520 He rarely says nasty stuff about anyone. 468 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,680 And he's gonna be one of them fellas 469 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,600 who does something great with his life. 470 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,000 There's no way in hell I'd ever turn my back on him 471 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,400 so you can all fuck off. 472 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,680 All right, then. 473 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,240 You leave me with no choice. 474 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,920 Have you nothing to say for yourself? 475 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,720 Yeah. You can suck my... 476 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,720 BELL RINGS 477 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,080 YELLING AND CHEERING 478 00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:11,640 Get out of it, you little pricks! 479 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,920 Little scum. 480 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,760 I'm so sorry about the misunderstanding. 481 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:34,000 It's not me you should be apologising to. 482 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,040 Don't worry about it, Principal Walsh. 483 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,520 Everyone makes enormous mistakes sometimes. 484 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,000 Is there a fag machine inside there? 485 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,960 Not in the school. 486 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,240 Down at the corner, Mary's. 487 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,120 See ya. 488 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,000 Prick. Who said that? 489 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,280 Who said that?! 490 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:16,040 Told ya it would work. 491 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,880 I didn't say it wouldn't, I just said it was risky. 492 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,440 It's amazing what people will do for two bags of lead. 493 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,640 We can't do it until after GAA practice. 494 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,680 That's fine. Just make sure Conor and Jock 495 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,720 are with Principal Walsh when it happens. 496 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:29,360 We're from Northern Ireland. 497 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,000 How did you do them real tears? 498 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,960 I just taught about my dad dyin'. 499 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,280 Cool. 500 00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:00,600 Everyone says I'm forever mimicking Jock, but that's a load of bollocks. 501 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,280 We're just best friends and we like the same shit. 502 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,880 Anyone who has a best friend would understand that. 503 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:42,560 We own this city. 504 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,160 It's ours.