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This programme
contains strong language.
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How's it going?
My name's Finn.
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All right, Finn,
my name's Gil.
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What's the story, Gil?
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Here, boy - do you want to have sex?
Oh, yeah, I'd love to!
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Oh, shit, we don't have a condom.
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Do you...do you want to go
bareback? No way, boy -
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we don't want to risk having
thousands of illegitimate kids.
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Fuck you.
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Rargh! Ergh...ergh...
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Just stop!
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I didn't get you this job so you
can stand around making fish porn!
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Would you ever just do some work?
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Now, come here, boy, I've been here
now 15 minutes.
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All right, what did you want again?
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INDISTINCT CHATTER
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Just chill out, now. Relax,
all right? Come on, boys!
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CUSTOMER YELLS
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What the fuck you wearing
a balaclava for, Billy?
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I'm incognito.
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Come with me!
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I need your help.
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QUIETLY: Fuck that.
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Hey - no, Billy, we're...
we're too busy.
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There's fucking no-one here!
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Come on - I've got fags.
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Jock keeps going on about how
Billy thinks we're his friends
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but I'm not sure where Billy
got this idea from.
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Maybe I looked like I was
enjoying myself too much
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the last 20 times he mugged me.
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I mean, why would I want
to help him do
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whatever it is he wants us
to fucking help him do?
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I need you to kill me.
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You know if we do that, you...
you can't come back?
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Well, not ACTUALLY fucking kill me.
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I need to fake my own death.
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Turns out Billy Murphy,
while in prison,
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was best friends with this nutjob,
Dinny Molloy.
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That's where Billy
got his laugh from.
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UNNERVING CHUCKLE
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HIGH-PITCHED UNNERVING CHUCKLE
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You can take the eye
out of a man's head -
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you can take one eye,
or you can take two.
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But if you take a testicle,
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you must take both of them,
no choice.
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All right, Dinny. Ah - hi, Billy.
How are you keeping?
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HIGH-PITCHED UNNERVING CHUCKLE
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Gotcha!
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Whatcha do that for?
For the laugh.
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Sure Dinny'll get the joke,
he's got a great sense of humour!
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I'll kill you, Billy Murphy!
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I'll fucking kill you
if it's the last thing I ever do!
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You're fucking dead!
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Jesus, lads, I never thought
he'd be getting out,
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but Dinny the Teaspoon got
out of prison this morning.
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Dinny the Teaspoon?
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What?
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Well...who else were you in prison
with, boy, Larry the Spatula?
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Tommy the Potato Masher?
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Stephen the Whisk?
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Tommy the Toaster.
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Shut up!
Frank the Fork.
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He uses a teaspoon to scoop out
the eyes of his victims
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and then he eats them.
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Wh-why does he eat the eye?
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Fuck knows. Says something about
help him see into the future.
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It's like when you eat carrots.
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No, that's...that's the dark.
Hmm?
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Anyway, I only have to fake my death
for 48 hours.
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Actually, make that
44 hours, 50 minutes -
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he got out this morning.
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Why only 48 hours?
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Dinny has only managed to stay
out of prison for 48 hours in total.
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So, will you help me?
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Can you give us a second?
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Sure, yeah.
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Why would we help
that fucking loon?
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Well, because, if we don't help him,
Dinny's going to kill him.
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Would it... Would it be...
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Would it be terrible if...
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If what?
If Dinny did...kill him.
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W-w-wait - are you honestly saying
what I think you're saying?
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Depends, what do you think
I'm saying?
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He's practically like a friend
of ours.
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He's no friend of mine.
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All he does is beat me up,
steal my phone.
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He fucking held us hostage on a bus,
boy, do you not remember that?
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Aye, I can remember,
that was a special day.
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And he ate half my chicken burger
last week. Oh, he did what?
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He ate... I know, right?
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He ate half my chicken burger.
Half your chicken burger?
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He ate half your chicken burger
so we're going to have him murdered?
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Will you listen to yourself?
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Look...just think about it
like this, all right?
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If we help fake his death,
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you can live out a fantasy
of killing Billy Murphy.
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You better know what you're doing.
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Shut the fuck up and just do what
we tell you
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or we're going home and you can
take care of Dinny the Teabag.
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Dinny the Teaspoon!
Whatever.
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Right, it's recording.
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HE WHISTLES
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Oh. Oh, hello, boys.
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I didn't see you there.
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I'm just out having a look
at the beautiful countryside.
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Watch you don't fall, Billy.
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Oh, I won't. I'll be VERY careful.
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Ohh!
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Billy! Are you OK?
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Oh, no, I think he's dead.
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Oh, God!
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I have never seen a dead body
before - it has made me sick!
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Did you get it? Yeah.
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Oh, hello, boys! All we've got to do
now is share this video around town,
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and then... Yeah - everybody
better think I'm dead, right?!
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Or you're fuckin' dead.
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That's exactly what we're doing -
why are you threatening us?
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I don't know, it's a force of habit.
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He-he-he!
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Billy.
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Wh...what about your loved ones?
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Will they not all be upset
if they think you're dead? What?
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Well, you know, like, the people
that care about you...
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Care about ME?
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Oh, that's a good one!
That's a good one!
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You're fuckin' funny!
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Good luck!
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Here, lads, do you want to see
a snuff video of Billy Murphy?
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Is it the one there
where the dog's riding him?
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No... Nah, that's a different one.
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Here y'are.
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Oh! Billy! Billy!
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Is he supposed to be dead?
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He don't look dead.
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Yes, he does,
he just fell off a bridge.
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Where's the body?
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Off the bridge.
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The body's off... Look just
take our word for it, all right?
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He's dead.
Now, go on, tell all your friends.
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I don't believe ya -
we need more fuckin' proof.
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More proof. All right. All right.
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Come on, then. All right.
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It's the thing
about kids these days.
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They watch so much
shit on the internet,
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they're almost
completely desensitised.
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Yeah, too much screen time.
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Right - we've to go in for overkill.
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How are you getting on?
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Just a bag of blood
and a sheep's brain, please.
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What's that for?
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What...the...fuck?!!
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All right, boy, open wide.
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Fuck off!
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Come on! We need to make it look
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like you banged your head and
your brains came out your mouth.
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They're not real brains, are they?
157
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Er...ye...
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No. No, it's, er...
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It's, er, cauliflower and...
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..jam. Yeah.
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Say, "Ah." Ah.
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Ah...
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Ah...
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It doesn't taste like jam.
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Three, two, one...and action.
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Oh, my God, what's that coming
out of his mouth? That's his brains.
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Ugh! Fuckin' hell!
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Why you showing us that?
That's mank.
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He fell off the bridge. Banged
his head. Brain come out his mouth.
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Now, I'm convinced.
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ON PHONE: Won't even wake up.
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People only ever really think about
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how much they'll miss
someone after they're dead.
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That's why Jesus faked his
death and came back again.
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And it turns out, there were plenty
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of people who were going
to miss Billy Murphy.
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It's terrible news. He fell off
the bridge and banged his head,
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and his brains came
out of his mouth.
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I'm looking for Billy Murphy.
Have you seen him?
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He's dead, boy.
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Dead? Yeah. He fell off a bridge and
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banged his head and
his brains come out of his mouth.
183
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Haven't you seen the video?
184
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Video? Here, look.
185
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What's that coming out of his mouth?
That's his brains.
186
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,440
Looks like it's edited.
187
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,480
Who said Ed did it?
188
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Not "Ed did it".
189
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Edited.
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Who are those two?
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RIP.
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Now that Billy was fake dead, me and
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Jock could get back to
doing what we love doing most -
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fuck all.
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Without any
interruptions whatsoever.
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Hiss! ..any sauce,
197
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but we can make some...
198
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,840
Oh, gee...
199
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,160
What? Did you show the video round?
200
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,640
Yeah. Everyone thinks
it's the real deal.
201
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,200
Well, how come I haven't
heard anything about it?
202
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,240
Cos you're in fuckin' hiding, Billy.
203
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,440
I'm tired of telling you,
Billy Murphy -
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00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,680
you either buy something,
or you get out.
205
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,120
I've run out of places to hide -
can I stay in your place?
206
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,720
No. Please, I don't want to die!
207
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,480
Please?
208
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,440
Mam's got a stalker recently,
209
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,720
and the Guards have
been fuck all help to her.
210
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For obvious reasons.
211
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MOBILE BUZZES
212
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,880
Oh, get a life, stalker.
213
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,360
When Mam asks you why you need to
214
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,880
stay over, what
are you going to say?
215
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,720
There's a leak in my flat,
and the whole place is flooded.
216
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,360
Again? There's a leak in my flat
and the whole place is flooded.
217
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,200
One more time?
I know it, OK? Will you relax?
218
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Jesus!
219
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WHISPERS: There's a leak in my flat
and the whole place is flooded.
220
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,200
HE MOUTHS
221
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,080
HE WHISPERS: Got it - you got it.
222
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,480
Hey, Mam, is it all right if Billy
stays on the sofa for a few nights?
223
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,680
Er...problem with his flat.
What kind of problem?
224
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,520
A murdering psychopath's
trying to kill me
225
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,760
and Conor and Jock
are helping me to fake my own death.
226
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,400
Oh, and there's a leak in my flat
and the whole place is flooded.
227
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,840
Look how dead he is.
228
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,560
Un-fuckin'-believable.
229
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,080
Is that supposed to be his brains
coming out of his mouth?
230
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,400
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
231
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,960
Dinny only ever manage to stay
out of prison for 48 hours,
232
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,440
and for 47 of those hours,
he was in a coma.
233
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,480
But what if this
murdering psychopath
234
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,000
comes here looking for you?
235
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,440
Relax, Mam, it's
all going to be fine.
236
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,880
Everyone thinks he's dead.
237
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,880
I'm sure we've
thought of everything.
238
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
239
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,880
Is it him?
240
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,560
No. Not unless he's three foot tall.
241
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,840
Oh, yeah, sorry, Conor. OK...
242
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,920
That weird Guard down the road
there told me to give you this.
243
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,400
Oh, Healy?
244
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,320
All right.
245
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,280
See you later. Good luck.
246
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,800
Yeah.
247
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,480
Why didn't he come
to the door himself?
248
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,400
Mam's banned him from being
closer than 200 metres from her
249
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,160
because he's been stalking her.
250
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,600
What, you can do that?
251
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,240
The fuckin' Guard's been
stalking me for years!
252
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,960
Er... "I tried calling, but your
253
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,440
"phone," er, "mustn't be working.
254
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,720
"You need to bring
Conor and Jack..."
255
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,720
"Jack?" Jack?
256
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,280
Jock.
257
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,120
"..Conor and Jock
down to the station
258
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:50,240
"to make a witness statement
about the death of Billy Murphy."
259
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:51,680
Great.
260
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,560
Thanks to you, I now have to
spend time with that dickhead.
261
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:58,000
Watch you don't fall, Billy!
I won't, I'll be very careful...
262
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,880
Agh! Agh!
263
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,040
Billy! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
264
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,920
Are you OK? BOTH: He's dead!
265
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,400
Poor Billy.
266
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,280
So, what exactly happened?
267
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,880
Erm...
268
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,640
I thought the video was pretty
self-explanatory, but, erm....
269
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,360
Basically, it was quite hot outside,
so me and Conor said...
270
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,840
Let's go out for a stroll.
..let's go for a stroll.
271
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,520
We took a path...less travelled...
272
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,360
and we stumbled across...
273
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,280
..Billy. Coincidentally, Billy
was going for a stroll as well.
274
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,760
Yeah. And it was this
really uneven terrain.
275
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,320
Some...
Some would say treacherous terrain.
276
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,000
And, erm, Billy lost his balance,
277
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,400
and he fell off the bridge.
278
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,480
And he, er, banged his little head.
279
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,960
Erm, his brains come out his mouth.
Yeah.
280
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,800
Ha!
281
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,600
It's so awful.
282
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,280
Ah...
283
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,320
THEY BOTH SOB
284
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:01,320
Aw!
285
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,160
Oh, come on, lads. Come on!
286
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,600
It's OK!
287
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,680
Billy would have hated
to see you like this.
288
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,880
You know? He would have wanted
you to remember the good times.
289
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,480
Yeah.
290
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,320
That's all very, erm, interesting.
291
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,680
But there's one
thing that I don't get.
292
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,040
Mm-hm. What would that be?
293
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,880
Where's the body?
294
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,040
Was it, like, you know,
eaten by wild dogs or something?
295
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,320
That...that is one
theory that's going round.
296
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,840
Yeah. Because when we were
there, he was definitely there,
297
00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:38,680
because we saw him, and then
when we came back, he was gone.
298
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,640
People were saying...
there are crows...
299
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,080
Mm. Mm.
300
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,840
..and a...
301
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,400
HE MUMBLES INDISTINGUISHABLY
302
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,160
What?
303
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,440
WHISPERS: What are you saying?
304
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,560
Oh...yeah.
That...that one I heard as well.
305
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,720
Mairead, can I speak to you
privately for a moment, please?
306
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,920
THEY SNIGGER
307
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,600
Get out of it!
That couldn't have gone any better.
308
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,080
Feels like we're real liars.
309
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,960
I'm even having trouble figuring
out what's real any more.
310
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,560
We're pretty much home and dry.
311
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,000
All we have to do now is wait for
312
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,360
that Dinny the Spoon
fella to go back to prison. Aye.
313
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,680
Hey, what's taking your mam so long?
314
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,880
She's probably in there trying to
get Healy's tongue out of her ass.
315
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,000
Out of her ass?
316
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,680
I don't know. Will you stop saying
that weird stuff about your mam?
317
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,240
It's a phrase. I know, but I don't
even find it funny any more.
318
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,800
It's just a bit strange.
Shall we just see her at home? Yeah.
319
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,720
This is a whole new
level of stalkiness,
320
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,120
dragging me down here
so you can have a chat?
321
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,680
This has nothing to
do with me sta...
322
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,680
I'm not a fucking stalker.
323
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,440
Here, hurry up. Why?
324
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,000
Just don't look back,
but someone's following us.
325
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,760
I said don't look back! "Don't
look back" always means look back!
326
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,720
Do you think it's Dinny?
Yeah, it might be. Just come on.
327
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,680
Everyone knows Dinny Molloy
got out of prison this morning.
328
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,520
And everyone also knows that he's
329
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,640
been going on about
killing Billy Murphy.
330
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,200
Well, lucky for Billy,
he's already dead,
331
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,360
so, he doesn't have to
worry about getting killed.
332
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:31,320
Whatever you do, stay as far
away from Billy Murphy as you can.
333
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,880
And every other man,
too, I suppose, yeah?
334
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,720
I think we lost him.
335
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:02,960
Hello!
336
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,160
Ah...
337
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,040
Conor and Jock - am I right?
338
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,120
I'm Dinny Molloy -
a friend of Billy Murphy.
339
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,240
Would you fellas like a...
couple of milkshakes and a chat?
340
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,600
I... Ah, yeah, sure.
341
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,120
Fuckin' run, Conor!
342
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,360
Ugh!
343
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,800
What the fuck are you doing?
344
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,160
Why would you go that way?
345
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,120
Just don't fuck with...
346
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,560
Agh!
347
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,720
I'm too scared.
348
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,880
Ah!
349
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,920
Haven't had a milkshake in years.
350
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:41,400
Agh... Oh.
351
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,760
Did Billy tell you
about the teaspoon thing?
352
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,160
Honestly! You scoop out one
fella's eyeball with a teaspoon,
353
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:50,400
next thing you know, that's
all anyone's talking about.
354
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,880
I hate it. What?
355
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,880
The cherry? That name.
356
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,680
What, Dinny the Tea...? Don't...
357
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,880
Don't...don't...don't say it.
358
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,120
If I'd known I was going to be
359
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:06,400
called Dinny the Teaspoon
for the rest of me days,
360
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,000
I would have chosen a different
kitchen utensil, you know?
361
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,840
Dinny the Meat Cleaver - much better
362
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,880
fuckin' ring to it altogether,
what do you think?
363
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,480
Ah, it's not that bad, you
know - Dinny the Teasp... No...
364
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,160
Don't say it.
365
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,360
Er, it's just, you just
called yourself that, though.
366
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,560
No, I didn't. You... You did.
367
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,320
You definitely did.
368
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:26,800
Can't believe Billy fell off of
369
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,640
a bridge and banged his head and
his brains fell out of his mouth.
370
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,600
Yeah, it's... It's awful.
371
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,720
And...and true.
372
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,280
You know...
373
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,280
CONOR SLURPS
374
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,960
..in many ways, Billy was
like a baby brother to me.
375
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,000
I took him under my wing
when he first got locked up.
376
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,320
I didn't want to
like him at first, but...
377
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:50,520
..he won me over with
all his silly pranks.
378
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,440
One time when I was
asleep, he drew a...
379
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,680
..a penis on my face,
380
00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,040
and so I'm walking round the
prison, everyone's laughing.
381
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,960
I'm thinking,
why is everybody laughing?
382
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,040
Next thing, I catch sight
of myself in the mirror.
383
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,200
Furious, I was!
384
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,760
You know?
385
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,440
So, I stormed back to the cell,
386
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,720
ready to rip the fuckin'
head off Billy!
387
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,760
And there he is, stood there,
388
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,080
all bashful.
389
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,800
"I'm sorry, Dinny," he says.
"I thought it would cheer you up."
390
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,760
"I know you've been
feeling down lately."
391
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,480
Oh.
392
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,200
Yeah.
393
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,960
Sure, even when he
pushed me down the stairs,
394
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,120
I was furious at first,
of course I was.
395
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,800
Next day, when I woke up in the
396
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,840
hospital with me
two broken legs, well...
397
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,840
..I started to see the
funny side of it, you know?
398
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,560
Did you?
399
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,640
THEY ALL LAUGH
400
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,840
THEY LAUGH MORE VIGOROUSLY
401
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,560
Ah-ha-ha-ha...!
402
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,960
You wouldn't be lying to me,
would you?
403
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,920
Nnn-ooo. Nn-ooo.
404
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,640
No. No. No?
405
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,120
No. No. No.
406
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,800
He's definitely dead.
407
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,840
You know, in many ways,
408
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,040
life dealt him a hard hand.
409
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,280
Yeah.
410
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,960
I just wanted to tell him th...
411
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,480
..there was no hard feelings.
412
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,440
That's...
413
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,680
God, I'm sorry, lads, I'm s...
414
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:38,560
It's hard to believe I'm actually
starting to miss Billy Murphy.
415
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,200
And he's only been
not dead for one day.
416
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,520
The box smells nice.
417
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,000
Have some great news for you, Billy.
418
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,680
Ah. Ah?
419
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,600
We met Dinny.
420
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,120
What? Yeah. Doesn't want
to kill you at all, boy.
421
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,560
All he wanted to do was tell you
that there was no hard feelings.
422
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,840
He was saying you were like his
little brother or something
423
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,080
in prison. Yeah, that's right.
424
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,280
He was actually a nice enough
fella, wasn't he, Conor?
425
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,360
Yeah. He got us milkshakes.
426
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,320
Milkshakes? Milkshakes, yeah.
427
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,800
Fucking milkshakes. Yeah.
428
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,240
The last fella he bought
a fucking milkshake for
429
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,440
has now got only one eye.
430
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,000
Why?
431
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,520
Was he in an accident or something?
432
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,720
An accident? Think about it!
433
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,680
"Do you need-a teaspoon?"
Argh! Eurgh!
434
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,280
Oh, my God, what the hell
were the two of you thinking?
435
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,120
No, no, no, but he was crying over
Billy's death and everything. Yeah.
436
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,080
Crying? Sure, he's like
fucking Meryl Streep that way.
437
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,960
He can turn on the tears like that.
438
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,120
He only let ye go
so he could follow ye to our door.
439
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,320
Well, it's not your door, Billy,
all right? It's our door.
440
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,560
My door. And we didn't ask
to be part of this anyway.
441
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,760
You're the one who
dragged us into it.
442
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,760
Ye did this on purpose. What?
443
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,120
Ye did this so he'd kill me.
444
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,040
I thought we were friends.
We helped fake your own death.
445
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,960
Yeah, we're hiding you in our
house. My house.
446
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,280
We rescued you from
a fucking psychopath.
447
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,440
Oh, what, and none of that
seems friendly to you? Yeah.
448
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,360
And what have you ever done
for us, eh?
449
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,520
Borrow our phones forever?
450
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,120
No, fucking nothing.
451
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,960
DOOR BUZZER
452
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,600
Shit.
453
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,040
Is it Dinny?
454
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,520
I don't know.
What you mean, you don't know?
455
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,600
I don't know what Dinny
looks like, do I?
456
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,640
Then what does the person
who's there look like?
457
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,440
Sort of like a psycho,
ex-convict type.
458
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:28,520
That's him.
459
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,560
Er...
460
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,640
Who is it?
461
00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,680
It's Dinny Molloy.
Billy's friend from the diner.
462
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,920
I've got something
important to give you.
463
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,520
Oh, really? What is it?
464
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,360
It's a memento.
465
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,120
I wanted to give it to Billy, but...
466
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,160
..I think you should have it.
467
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:56,360
Er... OK, you can just slip it
through the letterbox, thanks.
468
00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:00,000
I'm afraid it's a bit fragile.
469
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,240
Perhaps if you put your hand
through the letterbox,
470
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:03,600
I could give it to you.
471
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,320
SHE MOUTHS
472
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,320
No, he might go away.
473
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,960
Conor, don't! Calm down, Mam,
I know what I'm doing.
474
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,080
OK, give me the memento.
475
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,120
Argh! Argh!
476
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,800
Oh, God, no, please!
He's got my fingers!
477
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,920
Of course he's got
your fucking fingers.
478
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,960
Open the door
or I'll sever your fingers.
479
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,240
Let go of his fingers first
and then we'll open the door.
480
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,440
That doesn't work for me.
481
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,680
What if I sever one finger and then
you open the door a little bit?
482
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,440
Yeah, no, that doesn't work for me.
483
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:38,280
Can you do, like, no severing?
Just open the fucking door!
484
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,800
Please, OK, OK, all right,
all right!
485
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,240
Hello.
486
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,960
Where's Billy?
487
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,000
He's not in the kitchen.
488
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,600
Definitely not in the kitchen.
489
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,000
He must be upstairs, then.
490
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,280
Where is he?
491
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,240
The fuck is he? Outside.
492
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,560
Billy? Billy?
Where the fuck has he gone?
493
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,280
Oh...
494
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,000
Let me know when he's gone.
495
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,280
He is going to rip this house apart
until he finds you.
496
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,600
Get out of the cupboard and run.
497
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,120
No, no, no, no.
498
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,640
He wasn't upstairs.
Would you believe it?
499
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,680
After all that.
500
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,160
Where the fuck is he?
501
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,080
Fuck you, Billy!
502
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,320
I'll fucking kill you!
503
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,040
You're fucked. Get out of the way!
504
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,480
Oh! Billy!
505
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,200
You checked that one already.
506
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,200
Did I?
507
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,280
Are you going to open every cupboard
three times or what?
508
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,960
Where the fuck is he?
509
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,040
HALF A SNEEZE
510
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:03,960
ALL: Th... That was me.
511
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,080
It was all of us. Yeah.
512
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,040
You all sneezed at the same time?
513
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,160
ALL: Achoo!
514
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,520
Aye, it's dust mites.
515
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:15,800
Can you not smell them?
516
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,680
SNIFFING
517
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:25,600
Where's Billy?
518
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,840
We already told you, he's dead.
519
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,840
Dead? Dead.
520
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,000
We... We showed you the video.
521
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,640
So what more do you want us to say?
522
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,320
We can't... We can't do any...
We showed you the video, like.
523
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,000
I'm not convinced by the video.
524
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,920
What you mean,
you're not convinced by the video?
525
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,800
Aye, the video was fucking great.
526
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,160
ON PHONE: Billy! Oh, my God!
527
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,760
Yeah, there, see, look. Yeah?
528
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,960
Your reaction's not realistic.
529
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:58,400
No, no, no, we were just taken
aback by the situation.
530
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,960
Aye, like,
when you see a man get killed,
531
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,560
it really takes it out of a fella.
532
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:07,400
Makes you think all weird
and speak unreal...istically.
533
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,240
Yeah, very unrealistic.
534
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,640
Just a suggestion, but maybe you're
just hoping for Billy to be alive
535
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,080
because you miss him.
536
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,040
I mean, you spent a lot of time
with him in prison, like.
537
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,640
Yeah, I miss him too.
538
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,400
A lot.
539
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,080
I... I miss his laugh.
540
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,360
Ah, Billy...
541
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:34,520
Oh...
542
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,800
HE SOBS
543
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,440
Billy... Do you know, eh...
Do you know
544
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,080
when Billy used to, like,
hit me loads?
545
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,960
I always thought it was done with
a certain degree of consideration.
546
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,040
You know? Which is nice.
547
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,240
Look...
548
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,680
..when all is said and done,
I miss Billy too.
549
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,080
He made an eejit out of me.
550
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,240
I know that.
551
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,080
But you know what?
552
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,440
Maybe I am an eejit.
553
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,400
No. No, no.
554
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,360
Forgiveness is the key to freedom.
555
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,160
I read that somewhere.
556
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,760
Only I could never get it
into my stupid head.
557
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:16,000
And maybe that's why I keep going
back to prison over and over again -
558
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,600
because I could never learn
to forgive and forget.
559
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,640
Yeah.
560
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,240
You could be onto something,
Mr Molloy.
561
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:26,520
Ah...
562
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,560
If only Billy was here
to accept my forgiveness.
563
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,880
Maybe he's watching us from above.
564
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,560
Or even below.
565
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,920
As in hell.
566
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,400
Because, let's face it,
if there is a hell,
567
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,080
Billy's probably having a great time
mugging people on the way in.
568
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,720
And maybe playing his
practical jokes on everyone.
569
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,560
Yeah.
ALL LAUGH NERVOUSLY
570
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,960
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
571
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,160
LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY
572
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,440
I'd best be off now, I suppose.
573
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,440
I'm sorry...
574
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,680
..about the mess.
575
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,120
Can I help you clean it up?
No, no, no.
576
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,480
No, don't want to keep you.
577
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,600
Thank you.
578
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,200
Bye-bye.
579
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,400
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
580
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,920
See you later, Dinny the Teaspoon.
581
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,800
Fuck it...
582
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,760
I beg your pardon? I said...
583
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,520
I said, see you later,
Dinny the Teaspoon. That's all.
584
00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,760
I'm sorry,
I didn't quite catch that.
585
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,800
Erm... I am just said I'll...
586
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,320
I'll see you later,
Dinny the Teaspoon.
587
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,400
HE CHOKES
588
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,240
Open your eyes.
589
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,920
Open your fucking eyes. No!
Don't look at him!
590
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,680
Look at me. No!
Look at me. Not the teaspoon!
591
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:03,720
Fucking look at me.
592
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,440
Don't hurt my friend!
593
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,800
Billy, you fucking bas...
594
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,200
Do you know the thing about you?
What's that?
595
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,920
You can't take a joke.
596
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,040
So poor old Dinny the Nutjob
Psycho Teaspoon still didn't manage
597
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,360
to stay out of prison for longer
than 48 hours.
598
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,360
Better luck next time, Dinny.
599
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,680
And having a weirdo stalker hanging
around outside your house
600
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,560
can sometimes be useful.
601
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,640
You need to call me
when you're in danger.
602
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,680
Do you have my number?
603
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,440
What do I want that for?
604
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,800
Can I not just call 999?
605
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,680
SNICKERING
606
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,640
I forgive you.
607
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,240
HE LAUGHS
608
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,880
I think sometimes you don't get to
choose your friends.
609
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,320
They choose you.
610
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:18,960
And the ones that do choose you
611
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,520
are usually the ones
that need you the most.
612
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,840
Even if they do end up
613
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,920
eating all the spare chicken burgers
in the house.
614
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,320
We really only get one burger each?
615
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,160
I'm fucking starving after
nearly being killed.
616
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,720
Like, that's all that's there.
617
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,640
If you want more,
go down to the shop,
618
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,400
buy it and you can cook it yourself.
619
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,960
Here, you can have a bit of mine
if you like.
620
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,600
Are you sure? Yeah, work away.
621
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,960
Thanks.
622
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,240
Oh, jeez...
623
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,680
Fucking hell.
You put your plaster in my burger!
624
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,200
Eurgh...
625
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,720
Did you do that on purpose?
626
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,640
Gotcha!
627
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,120
HE LAUGHS
628
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:11,000
LAUGHTER CONTINUES