- In the beginning, everyone wants to send you
flowers and donate to, like, a foundation
for your dead person. And they stop calling
and writing because they're over it,
and they expect you to be over it.
- When's the last time you went to your apartment?
- A little before the funeral.
- So, like, three months?
both: This is our apartment.
both: This is our home. - This is our home.
- There's gotta be some things you want to keep.
Think about what makes you happy.
- Well, nothing makes me happy.
- You think you knew him, but you really didn't know him
as well as you thought.
- "I keep replaying the day we met.
"I couldn't believe it
"when we realized 'Shawshank Redemption'
"was both our favorite movie. And 'Catcher in the Rye'
"was our favorite book.
"I came home and pinched myself until my arm bruised
"to make sure this day wasn't a dream.
"We're soul mates, Becca.
We were made for each other."
Griffin was in Kandahar.
He was setting up a field hospital
when he killed by an IED.
[indistinct murmurs]
- Thank you for your sacrifice.
all: Thank you for your sacrifice.
- Thank you for your sacrifice.
- Being new to LA, it just means so much to me
to have found this community.
I just feel so connected
to each and every one of you.
You feel like my family.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
[light upbeat music]
- Leigh. Hi. - Hey.
- Claire mentioned you're a widow too.
Was your husband in the military also? Or wife?
- No, neither.
- I just moved here from Pendleton
so I'm literally driving around going
"This is so beautiful." - Yeah.
- Venice Beach, Disneyland...
- I know. It's a great city.
Sorry, I've got to... I teach at a class.
- Oh, I love kids. What grade?
- No, it's an exercise... it's like
a ballet, yoga, pilates combo thing.
- Wow, that sounds amazing. - Yeah.
- I haven't worked out once since Griffin died.
I'm such a blob. - Well...
- What's the name of the studio?
- It's called Beautiful Beast.
- Great name. - Yeah.
- Well, you have my number on the roster.
You know, I'm totally around.
See, you know, maybe we could hang out...
- Sure, yeah. Running late. - Okay.
- Bye. - Bye.
- I called her six times.
- She's not calling anyone back, Richard.
- Okay, but I'm her father.
- She just became a widow
50 years sooner than she expected.
Could you maybe not make this about you?
Where's my tea?
- I just know the power that you have over her.
- "Power"?
Why does someone always have to be in charge in your mind?
Why is one of us always winning?
Where is my tea? - It's coming.
What's going on?
- I'm just worried about her. That's all.
- So am I. - [sighs]
How could something like this happen
to someone who's just so alive?
- I go over it and over it in my head.
Sabrina thought that maybe we'd make a donation
in his name to the school where he taught.
- She's a class act, your wife.
How's Evie?
- Loving school in Ojai.
Varsity equestrian.
- Hmm.
- How's business?
- I was hoping to buy the whole building.
Fingers crossed it's still in the cards.
- But don't you make your own hand?
I mean, aren't your cards something that you control?
- [laughs] - Here you go, ma'am.
- Thank you.
I have to go. I have a delivery at 9:00.
- Oh, come on. - Thank you for the tea.
- I would really like to see my daughter.
If you could...
empower her to return my calls, I would really appreciate it.
- [scoffs]
I will try.
- [laughing] That's a sexy face.
- "Nothing is impossible.
The word itself says I'm possible."
- Ew.
- I know, this Nicholas Sparks widow group
keeps sending me inspirational quotes
that make me want to burn the world down.
- How's that different from normal you?
- I'm serious. She put on the most spectacular show.
She had this little tear hanging on her perfect eyelash
for the entire hour
and everyone was obsessed with her.
- Sounds like she's got it figured out.
- Like she's got what figured out?
- How to make tragedy glamorous.
Like Jackie O.
- Jules, normal people don't envy tragedy.
- Of course they do.
For the rest of your life, you're deep.
It's like you've touched the edge.
I mean, obviously, I don't think like that,
but people milk their stories for a reason.
You should come to a meeting. - No. No, thank you.
- You'll see. We're good at sharing.
I tell the best stories.
I have this one about how I partied so hard
I puked on Questlove. Always kills.
- You shouldn't be proud of that.
- It's my best story.
- Leigh, would you please call your father
so that he stops bothering me?
Texting doesn't count.
- I don't want to call him or anyone.
- She's got an ironclad excuse.
- Feel like I get at least six months.
- I'd say more. - One call. Ten minutes.
- If dad wanted to have a better relationship with me,
he could have been nicer to Matt when he was alive.
- Your father loved Matt.
- Okay, I'm sorry, were you not at my wedding
when he came up to me 20 minutes before the ceremony
to let me know that it was okay
if I were having second thoughts?
- He would have done that with anyone.
That's what dads do.
- Whatever, we can pretend like that's reality.
- So we're starting class pass today.
We don't make any money from these people.
We just want to hook 'em in so that they buy a package,
which we need big time, so be extra nice.
Okay? Everybody got that?
Nice with a cherry on top.
- She's talking to you.
- Pretty sure she's talking to you.
- Feels like I'm talking to myself.
Put your phones down.
Go and get some sun.
- [sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
- Hi! I made it.
- You did. Jules, this...
- Oh, I know. Yeah, we've been hanging.
Becca's so excited to take your class.
- This place is amazing.
The light and the colors.
Griff and I painted our entire house warm colors
so it always felt so cozy.
- Wait, oh, my God. Leigh's obsessed with color.
She's always talking my ear off about the power of chartreuse.
You guys are like the same person.
- Hi, Mia Powell.
It's my first time. I'm on class pass.
- Hey, Mia. What's up?
Let's get you set up.
- It's my first time too. [laughs]
Don't go easy on me though. Kick my ass.
I'm ready to sweat.
[dance music]
- 18, 19, 20. Inhale, down.
And exhale into boat.
Come on, ladies, I want to see you
holding the position.
And we're moving into plank leg raises.
20 reps, right leg.
And leg up. And in. Leg up. And in.
If anyone planks, we will start counting again.
And up. And in. Six up. And in.
Don't be the one who lets everyone down.
Or I'll start over again.
And up. And in.
No one gives up. - [heaving]
[vomiting]
- What the hell happened in there?
- I just wanted everyone to give it their all.
- Well, you certainly got that, didn't you?
- Yeah. - It wasn't Leigh's fault.
She told us to listen to our bodies.
- I did. I said that.
- Do you want to grab a juice? It's my treat.
- Can't. I've got a class at 2:00.
- No, you don't.
- I feel amazing. It's the endorphins.
You're lucky it's your job to create endorphins
three times a day.
- Yeah, I don't feel particularly lucky.
- Are you a person of faith?
- N-not... no.
- Well, it helps. Going to church every week.
Checking in with God. - Mm-hmm.
- I mean, I still wonder why he did this to me,
but then I realize there's a purpose to my life now.
That's what my pastor says.
- Your pastor thinks that God made your husband die
so that you can have a purpose?
- I think he just means
God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
- I hear that a lot, but I'm not quite sure
what it means.
- I think it means we all have wells of strength
we didn't realize we had.
- Mm-hmm.
- Wasn't that interesting what Claire was saying?
About how self care is so important
and how we need to take care of ourselves right now.
- I was actually kind of spacing out at group.
- Oh. Well, she was talking about
this thing called skin hunger. - Mm-hmm.
- There were these studies on monkeys and orphans
who were never touched and it made them go crazy.
Griffin was deployed for five months before he died.
I don't even know the last time I was touched that way.
I think it's so important to listen to Claire.
I think we need to take care of ourselves
right now, even though we don't want to...
[voice fading out]
Korean spa on Western where you can get massages
and dip into these little pools.
And it's two for one Tuesdays
so I made an appointment for us at 8:00.
And then I thought...
- Sorry, can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
- Do you know your husband's passcode to his phone?
- Of course, doesn't everyone?
I mean, otherwise I'd wonder
who he was texting that he didn't want me to see.
I mean, but I also think it's so important
to have our own lives and be independent.
- Look, um...
I know that...
you think we have a lot in common
because we're both widows and not 70,
but to be honest
I-I really don't want new friends.
I don't want to feel pressured to respond to messages,
and say yes to plans, and hear your stories that,
frankly, make me feel terrible about my life.
And I would rather be angry and mean
when I feel like it because that's what I need right now.
- I didn't... - No, I'm... so...
You are Jackie O and I am Courtney Love.
And Jackie O and Courtney Love are not friends.
Not in any universe.
- What do I want to manifest?
I am a successful businesswoman.
My daughters are independent and thriving.
I have a wonderful partner who fulfills all of my needs,
emotional, spiritual...
sexual. [sighs]
- Mom. You have to read this review.
- What?
- Kay, "The teacher went mental
and screamed at us so much I literally puked."
We should put that on a sign.
Classes so tough we'll make you puke.
- No. No. No.
[groans]
If this is the first review that comes up,
I mean, we'll just go out of business.
- Mom, it's fine.
Tons of people love us.
- Those people don't write reviews.
Maybe I should just take her off the schedule.
Lacey keeps asking for more classes.
- Okay, Leigh's hardly doing any already.
It's not fair.
- Jules, how do you not get how bad this is?
- Why are you yelling at me? It's her fault.
I'm the good child for the first time ever.
- This review, it can't stay up.
Oh, God.
[indistinct chatter]
- Can I get you started with something to drink?
- Hey. Didn't...
Were you at Beautiful Beast yesterday?
- Were you in that class?
The teacher was a total psychopath.
- [laughs]
My mom actually owns that place.
- Oh, right, I remember you.
She should really fire that girl.
You guys are gonna have a lawsuit or something.
- Yeah. I'll tell her.
Hey, I'd love to comp you some classes.
- Yeah, I'm never going back there.
- Yeah.
We're a small studio, women-owned,
and even one review like that can really
take a dump on our ratings.
Is there any way you could take it down?
- Are you serious right now?
It wasn't just that girl. The music sucked.
And the ladies were all Lulu Lemmings.
And the photos in the lobby were body-shaming propaganda.
I workout to feel better about myself
and I left feeling worse.
You read my review. What did you do? Stalk me?
- Of course not.
But if I wanted to, I could talk about
how dirty my fork is or how rude my server Mia was.
Oh but, you know, that wouldn't be fair
to someone who depends on her tips.
- You know what?
Just so you don't key my car, fine.
I'll take it down.
Happy? - Thank you.
Thank you. - Yep.
- No, I swear, if you were to cut her open
she would bleed glitter.
- Oh, my God. Block her. Block her number.
- [laughs] Yeah, I know. - Do it.
- God.
- So I have some news.
- Huh?
- Ryan and I are engaged.
- Wow.
Congratulations.
- We're actually looking at venues right now.
There's this cool place downtown
that has an opening in, like, a month.
- Ooh, that's fast.
And you guys, you got engaged last night?
- Um... No.
It was late June.
- So just after Matt... - Yeah.
- Hmm.
- Actually that was sort of part of it.
We both realized that life is short.
Why wait? You know, why not
become each other's person now?
I haven't, like, posted about it or anything
because I didn't want you to feel pressure.
Like, you, you know, had to be happy for me.
- Of course I'm happy for you.
- Thanks, lady.
- But what about...
when he was texting that pastry chef?
- That was, like, nine months ago.
- But aren't you afraid that that's gonna happen again?
- No, because we worked through that.
- So you're saying that you trust him enough
in order to pledge eternal...
- Yes. - Okay.
- Because we worked through it. - Okay.
- [sighs]
Look, I know that you're going through a hard time right now,
but the best friend code of conduct
is to at least pretend to be excited for me
and maybe not trash my fiancé
because he made one mistake one time.
- So are you just... you're leaving?
- I've like 20 pieces to edit before the end of the day.
- Okay. - I'll catch you later, okay?
[indistinct chatter]
- So I'm in my office,
and this is, like, six or seven months ago, right.
And, uh... and Tamara Shue walks in.
You guys know who she is, right?
- She's the CEO of Cerberus. - I know who she is...
- Shh. Shh. Go. [laughter]
- So she asks if I can help her
debug her program. I'm serious.
[laughter]
I'm serious. - Debug the program.
- Debug her program is what she said.
So she's sitting right across from me
and, I swear to God, she just, like,
starts "Basic Instincting" me.
[laughter] - What?
- That did not happen.
- Yes, it did happen.
- Daniel, you're supposed to be telling a truth or a lie.
- Yeah, not some seventh grade fantasy.
- You've got such a tell. You just can't stop grinning.
Which is why you can never go to Vegas.
[laughter]
- My turn. - Okay.
all: Truth or lie. Truth or lie.
Truth or... [laughter]
- Okay.
So when I was a junior in high school.
Danny and I...
had this SAT tutor named Cassie.
- Cassie! - Yeah.
She was probably around, I don't know, 27, 28.
And it was the night before the SATS
and I was nervous.
Super nervous.
And Cassie says, "The only thing to do tonight
is to relax." And I'm like,
"I can't." Because I'm me.
And she says,
"Come with me." - Mm...
- So we drive to Bridgeburn Park,
back behind the restrooms, you know.
There's this red-haired mom and her baby on the swings
and she looked at us and...
they left like they knew we were up to something.
And Cassie pulls out a joint
and takes a drag... - Nice.
- And leans over
and blows smoke into my mouth.
- [laughing]
- And as she does this
she licks my lips just the tiniest bit.
- Ooh. [laughter]
- It was the hottest thing that ever happened to me.
- Yeah.
- Little did I know how much hotness I had to come.
[laughter]
- Lucky man.
- You... you never, you never told me that.
- Yeah, that's 'cause it never happened.
[screaming]
- Come on, man.
[laughter]
- Leigh, you're in trouble. - Why?
- That was way too good.
- Planned it.
- Did you see this?
What she said. - What who said?
- That girl. Jules, she updated her review
to say that "One of the teachers
followed me to my place of business and threatened me."
- I was trying to fix Leigh's mess.
She's the one that made her puke.
It's one bad review. Who cares?
There's a margin for error in running a business.
You always tell me that.
- No. No. Jules, there is no margin for error anymore.
The margin for error got spent on rehab.
- Why didn't you tell me that?
- I was glad to do it and you're in recovery,
and that's what's important.
But, Jules, you're getting too old
to be pulling these kind of stunts.
- Of course, it was me that messed up.
- Jules! - It always comes back to me.
- You cannot follow our clients to their workplaces.
I would have thought that was obvious.
And I am plenty mad at your sister.
But in case you hadn't noticed, her husband...
- Just died.
I know.
- [sighs] Jules, I'm s...
[sighs]
- Look, we go in. Have a nice pleasant dinner.
Ask your dad about the wine. - Mm-hmm.
- We ask Evie some horse questions.
We ask Sabrina about the landing probe on Mars,
or whatever she's working on.
And that's it. We go home.
And I'll be there the whole time, pretending
this is exactly where I want to be on a Tuesday night.
- Emphasis on "pretend." - So what?
We all pretend all the time. - We do?
What do you pretend? - I don't know.
- Like what?
- All right, I pretend I love teaching.
On a lot of days I don't.
I pretend I...
I don't notice when people stare at us at restaurants.
I pretend...
getting up in the morning isn't as hard it is some days.
I... [scoffs]
I pretend I'm totally cool with having sex with one person
for the rest of my life. Should I go on?
- No, definitely not. - Well, you pretend too.
That's marriage. That's being a person.
- I guess, but I just don't feel like pretending right now.
- Leigh.
Got to let that go.
- Okay, that's easy for you to say 'cause he's not your dad.
- No, my dad never wanted to be in the same room as me,
and now that he's dead, he never has to ever again.
- Okay.
- Richard's not perfect, but he's trying.
He wants to spend time with you.
That's something.
- Hmm.
- Seriously? We're going home?
- Yeah.
I'll just send him a text message
that something came up.
- You hold people to impossibly high standards.
No one's ever gonna pass your test.
- [sighs]
- Hmm.
How are you?
- [sighs] Um...
I think I'm stuck in whatever stage it is
when you're a raging bitch to everyone
within a ten mile radius.
- Apparently that whole
Kubler-Ross stages of grief thing...
- Mm-hmm. - Bullshit.
- Yeah.
- I, um...
I actually came to ask you something.
- Shoot.
- Why did you cheat on Mom?
Just tell me the truth.
- Talked about it enough in therapy by now.
I got it down.
Started when I got fired.
It was the first time anything like that ever happened to me.
And it was...
it was unfair.
Also humiliating.
I... [scoffs]
I had no idea something like that could happen.
For me, it was just...
Well, it was a huge loss.
And I lashed out.
Hard.
- And people say I take after Mom.
- [chuckles]
Sometimes when a person drowns, they thrash around so much,
they bring down anyone trying to rescue 'em.
Even if they don't mean to.
So why you asking me this now?
- I just needed to know.
[nostalgic music]
- I'm calling the cops.
- No, I just need, like, two minutes.
Okay. Two.
My brother-in-law died 3 1/2 months ago.
Matt was the glue that held us together.
I mean, everyone was just better when he was around.
And that girl, the teacher,
she's my sister.
Matt was her husband.
Look, I don't know
if you've ever lost anyone suddenly
and had your entire worldview just fall apart over night.
So you get it?
Like, you lose this person
who meant so much to you
and you start spinning out in all these weird ways
because you don't even know who you are anymore.
My sister's in freefall.
And she just needs some time
to turn everything right side up again.
I know you think basically everyone
in my family is crazy at this point,
but if you could just give us a break
and take down that review...
- I can do that. - [sighs]
Thank you.
[indistinct chatter]
- Hi.
You had this perfect marriage
and your husband died a hero.
And mine died for nothing.
And I'm beginning to think I didn't even know him.
I shouldn't have yelled at you.
I'm sorry.
I'm just mad all the time.
- That letter that I read.
He wrote it after I told him I wanted a divorce.
But nobody wants to hear that.
People just want to hear about this amazing marriage
that I didn't actually have.
And I'm trying to stay positive
because people like me better that way,
but I just feel like such a fake all the time.
And you're so honest about everything,
and I just, I wish I could be like you.
- Shaw and Urwin?
Tables six and seven.
- [Becca sobbing]
[crying continues]
[melancholy music]
- I can't believe that you're already dating again.
- Ugh, I know. It all happened so fast.
I think I'm in love. - Seriously, you got a dog?
- Jules, get in here? - Oh, that's not good.
- You were supposed to watch him while I took a shower.
- I got distracted for like a second.
- But this is what I mean by not responsible enough
to own a dog. - I'd like to talk to you
about something.
- Mm-kay.
- What they told me in rehab is the hardest part
about staying sober is the fact that
the people in your life don't believe you can change.
But I didn't think that'd be you guys.