- Taylor wants to get the advice column going again.
- I don't feel like the same person
who wrote that anymore.
- I'd love for you to still write it
as whoever you are now.
- I'll think about it.
- Rogue is not the only one who's on Prozac.
I've been taking it on and off since I was in college
for depression.
Sometimes, it gets bad.
I-I need you to understand
that this isn't fixable.
- You were weird at the party,
and now you want to go straight to bed.
- You know, what never makes me feel better
is when my wife yells at me.
- I'm not yelling at...
You were right.
There was a lot about him
I didn't know.
- [voice mail] You've done that hike a hundred times.
I want to believe this was an accident,
but I'm standing here, looking down,
and I just don't know.
- [crying]
It was late in the afternoon,
and I was...
folding laundry,
just trying to distract myself from worrying,
and I had all these, um,
single, mismatched socks
on my lap.
I... I didn't want to be wasteful and throw them away,
even though I was never gonna wear them
without their matching pairs.
Anyway, I, uh...
I was leaving, uh, another message
when I got a call from...
a number I didn't recognize.
It was the sheriff's department.
They told me that there had been an accident,
and that my husband's body
had been found near the hiking trail
at the... bottom of a 42-foot drop.
He had slipped or tripped.
And I just sat there...
[laughing] with all these socks on my lap.
Hmm.
Yeah, I thought that I... I had experienced
every possible... emotion
since that day,
but today is a new one.
[laughs]
T-today, I feel stupid,
because I-I heard something
from someone who knew him just as well as I did,
and this person doesn't think that it was...
an accident.
He thinks it was a choice.
I have spent four months
blaming the universe.
And maybe
the one I really should be angry with
is Matt.
- Thank you for sharing.
Is there anything else that you want to say?
- Tomorrow's my birthday.
- Mm.
- I thought you said processed sugar
cuts lifespans in half.
- Well, today is a day for exceptions.
[laughs] - Mm....
- Now, honey, you need to be patient with her.
She might be a bit difficult.
- She's always a bit difficult.
- So get ready for a lot of difficult.
- Mm. - Hey, hey!
- Hi! - Happy birthday, sweetheart.
- Hello. - Thank you.
- Happy birthday. - Thank you very much.
Do I smell "queenie-a-mans"?
- Yeah. - "Queens-a-ma"?
- If you can't pronounce it, the calories don't count.
- Mmm!
- Happy birthday. - [gasps]
Thank you. A coupon book!
Fun.
"I will restart the book club
"you tried to get me and Mom to do
and actually read the books this time."
This is a brilliant gift! Thank you, Jules.
I love this! Thank you. - Happy birthday.
- Thank you so much.
Mmm.
You okay?
- Yeah, no, I-I am.
I just... I just... I didn't think
you'd be doing quite so well today.
That's all.
- I didn't either, but we all make choices,
and I am choosing to have a great birthday.
So let's do this thing!
- Okay, let's do this, um.
I got Lacey to take the evening classes
so we can get to Sugarfish before the lines get crazy,
and then, they are screening "The Philadelphia Story"
at the Egyptian.
- Ah...
I think I want a party. - Oh, you do?
- I do.
- A party. - Mm-hm.
Tonight. I want a party.
Like, a big party.
- Okay, um...
Do you want me to call Drew and a few of your friends?
- No, you don't have to. I can do that,
and, um, it's my birthday,
so I get to eat six fun things.
- Um, five.
- Um, four.
- I'm gonna eat four fun things!
- [laughs] - Jules, I thank you.
I thank you.
- [laughs]
Uh, uh, remind your friends it's a sober house.
Okay? - Gotcha.
- Stop worrying. - Uh-uh.
- Stop. - Oh, my god.
- She's fine. I'm fine.
You're fine. - Okay.
Okay. - We're fine.
- [humming]
[snorts]
[humming]
Okay.
[scoffs]
[cell phone ringing]
Frankie, hey.
- Hey, Leigh, happy birthday.
Um, I-I know we haven't talked in a while,
but, um, I just got your invite,
and I wanted to make sure... - Oh, great.
Uh, yeah. Are you... coming?
- Yeah, yeah, totally. I'm there.
- Okay, great. - Awesome.
I'm super excited. Birthday time.
Woot, woot! [laughs]
- Woot, woot!
Okay, I will see you there. Bye!
[phone ringing]
- Hey, happy birthday!
- Thank you!
- What, uh... what are you doing here?
- I just wanted to see my best friend on my birthday.
Did you get me a present yet?
- No, but spoiler: I am getting you a gift card
because I know how you love picking out your own presents.
- It's true. I do.
But, you know, anyone can get me a gift card,
whereas you can...
give me my column back.
[cell phone chimes]
- Leigh, I've been trying to give you your column back
for months. - I... I know you waited on me,
and the good news is... is that I'm done
putting my life on hold, and I'm ready to do this.
- That's great. - Yeah.
- And I wish I could,
but... [sighs]
I can't take "Ask a Human" away from Millie.
- But can you please? Like, just for the...
the integrity of the Internet?
- [sighs]
Ah, "Advice on How to Nail This Whole Adulting Thing,"
by Millie Lloyd-Hughes.
"Caffeinate responsibly.
Learn what a W-2 is." - Leigh...
- "Wear sunscreen." I mean, is this really
the advice that the world needs?
- Leigh, could you not mock-read my employees, okay?
We don't have doors.
- She's barely out of college.
It's insane to have her give advice,
and what life experience is she drawing on,
the disappointing sex she had on prom night?
- [laughs] Okay, Millie is young,
but her posts do really well.
Her adulting advice went viral.
- And so did white supremacy.
- Nice. - Just saying.
Her advice is listicles
and GIFs and... ,
and when I gave advice,
I-I-I took my heart out of my chest,
and then I put it on the screen.
- Leigh...
I wish we could pick up where we left off, but...
our editorial director made our weekly meeting
all about Millie's column.
Yeah, he got her a sheet cake
that said "Viral."
- That means nothing.
- I'm just saying... - Okay.
[cell phone chimes] - I... I can't
get your column back after that meeting.
[cell phone chimes]
- I'm sorry. - That's fine.
[cell phone rings] - I hate how this went down,
but... [cell phone continues ringing]
- You should get that. - I'm sorry. Okay.
But, uh, I'll see you tonight, though, yeah?
- Um, yes.
Thank you for hearing me out. I'll see you tonight.
- Of course. - Okay.
- Happy birthday.
- It's gonna be fun. - It's gonna be fun!
- It's gonna be... fun.
- Okay.
Can't wait. [laughs]
- Okay. - Okay.
- Pull your knee into your chest,
and breathe.
Switch legs, left over right.
[smooth music over speakers]
Lying on your back... [cell phone ringing]
cross your right foot over your left knee
for a quickie core stretch.
- Richard, it's her birthday.
If she doesn't want to take your call,
I am not going to make her.
- Uh, hi, Amy.
I'm well. Thanks for asking.
How are you? - Amazing, obviously.
- [sighs] I got an invitation
to Leigh's party at your house tonight.
- Well, you're her father.
I've never stopped you coming before.
- [laughs] It's... it's not just me.
My cousins in Florida got one, too.
She even invited The Schwab.
- The kid who ran through your screen door
at Leigh's high school graduation party?
- There's still a kink in the frame.
- How many people did she invite?
- It's just pages of names.
Amy?
Hello? - What? 600...
- You there? [applause]
- Thank you.
- Leigh. - What?
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Why?
- You've invited 657 people
to my house tonight.
- Well, it's a last-minute invite on a Tuesday.
If 30 people show up, it's gonna be
a Christmas miracle.
- Honey, we stopped throwing you parties
after elementary school
because the attention made you self-conscious.
- Well, I don't want to be self-conscious anymore,
or negative, or judgmental,
or sad. I don't want to be that person.
- But I like that person. I love that person, in fact.
- Well, I don't.
- Honey, today was never gonna be an easy day.
Whatever you need to feel,
you get to feel it.
- Well, I feel like trying something new
and being a fun person
[laughing] who's really good at parties,
and you can... try being a fun person at parties.
That would be... new for you, too.
- You don't think I'm fun at parties?
- [laughs] No.
Send email to Millie Lloyd-Hughes.
Hey, Millie, I need your advice.
What do you do when it's your birthday
and you're another year older, and you realize
that you've made absolutely no progress
with anything important in your life?
Hey, Millie?
Um...
What do you do when...
the advice column that you started from nothing
get stolen by a shallow, boring 22-year-old
whose idea of adversity
is getting into her second-choice college?
[sighs]
Hey, Millie, what do you wear to your first party
after your husband fell off the side of a mountain
and died? Send.
[email whooshes, Leigh scoffs]
[groans] ....
[doorbell rings]
Um... - Hello.
[people talking in background]
- [squeals, laughs]
- I mean... - No, it's a party.
There's no such thing as being late.
You show up when you show up.
- Hi. Come on in.
- Thanks so much for having us.
I know we're late. I'm sorry.
Richard refused to take a left turn
as we drove here,
so we had to make three rights instead.
[upbeat music playing]
- I can't believe he's still doing that.
- People that don't take left turns live longer.
It's a statistic. - It's nonsense.
- It's a statistic. - It's nonsense.
- [laughs]
♪ ♪
- Thank you for coming on such short notice.
- [whispering] It's so weird.
- Um, I couldn't find the coupon
for borrowing your clothes.
- Oh, I only wore that dress
the one time I was a slutty Holly Golightly
for Halloween, so borrow away.
- Cool. - Looks good.
- Perfect. - Yeah.
- Hey, Dad.
- Happy birthday, honey! - Hey, hi, hi!
Hi! It's good to see you.
Hey. It's a... check, right?
- Yes, it is. - Cool.
Hi, Sabrina. - Happy birthday.
- Thank you. - Hey!
- Oh, hey. - Happy birthday!
- It's been a while. - Yeah.
- Good to see you. - Nice to see you again.
- Yeah.
- Cool. I'm going to put this away.
I'm gonna put this away.
- Hey, Amy.
Uh, it's Nicholas Schwaback.
Uh, Nick... Nick Schwaback. I went to high school
with Leigh. [laughs]
Uh, "The Schwab"?
[laughs] - Oh, The Schwab.
It's nice to see you.
- My tribute to the party goddesses.
- Um, we said sober house on the invite.
- I-I thought that was a joke.
- No. Please take it back
to your car.
- You got it, yeah.
- Thanks.
[light rock music playing]
- Oh. - Hi!
- Happy birthday, sweetie.
- Oh, thanks. - How are you holding up?
- I'm great.
Yeah. - Oh, that's good.
- Just great, thank you. - Yeah.
- Thanks. It's good to see you.
- Leigh!
- Hey. - Remember this?
- [laughs] Oh, do I.
- What... what is he doing?
- It's a bit from high school where he does a stupid dance
until it's funny, and then it becomes stupid again...
- And stupid again... - And then it becomes...
both: Really funny.
- [laughs] - And then... yeah.
♪ ♪
- Hi. Uh, Schwab, here, help my mom.
- Sure. - There you go.
Tasks. Cool.
- [laughs] - Hi.
- Hey, it's the birthday girl.
- Hi. Hi.
- Or should I say,
teenage vampire? - Oh, wow.
Well, that's cool. You got me an insult
for my birthday. Thank you.
- Well, if you want to take it that way.
- Whatever. It's better than...
people calling me sweetie
and asking me how I'm holding up.
- I mean, I think that people just want
to know that you're okay,
and they know this is a weird birthday for you.
- Well, the good news is that I'm okay.
[laughs]
So, yeah. And we have a million snacks,
so, uh, get yourself something to eat.
- Okay.
- Have some. Treat yourself.
- Yeah, okay. - Cool.
I'll-m gonna talk... I'm gonna go say hi to...
I mean, I'll see you later.
♪ ♪
Hey.
- I don't believe exercise can be fun.
- I didn't either,
but then I started choreographing
these silly dances
to these songs I liked in seventh grade,
and I realized it can be almost fun.
- Well, what about the pain?
- Okay, in my dance class, we pose through the pain.
- [laughs]
- Uh, you're laughing, but I'm serious.
It works. - Okay.
I'll give it a go. - Yes!
♪ ♪
- Hey, guys.
♪ ♪
[sighs]
♪ ♪
Oh, damn it.
- Hey, Amy.
What's going on? - Um...
Jules has been sober for four months.
We're trying to make it to five.
- Oh, okay. Uh...
I'll help out. - No, I got this, really.
- No. - It's fine.
- Uh, look.
Found one.
- Thank you. - Mm-hm.
♪ ♪
[laughter]
- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, Jules!
- Where have you been? I haven't seen you in months.
Top you up?
- No, thanks. - Boo.
both: Come on. - I'm actually sober now.
So that's where I've been.
Um, but you guys enjoy.
- That's... that's great. - Good for you.
- Yeah. - Really great.
- Thanks. - Jules, there you are.
Sorry, can I steal this one for one quick sec?
Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Uh, bye.
- Want me to narc on them to your mom?
'Cause I will.
- Snitches get stitches.
- I will deal with a wound that requires stitches
for you, my dear.
- [laughs]
Stop worrying. I am so good right now.
I promise. You know, parties are...
fun sober.
People's jokes are still funny.
- [laughs] - Who knew?
- [sniffs]
- Look, there's Leigh. You should give her your gift.
- Oh.
Sure you're okay? - Yes.
I'm great.
♪ ♪
[sighs]
♪ ♪
- Hi. - Hi.
- A gift card! - No, it's a sweater.
- [laughs]
Aww. - There's more.
- Oh.
♪ ♪
- Mm-hmm.
- "Dear Leigh, my advice to you in this time of crisis
"is to go easy on your very handsome friend Drew,
"who loves you
"and only wants the best for you.
P.S., hot outfit." Thank you.
"P.P.S., please stop trolling me.
XO, Millie." Mm.
For the record, I'm not a troll.
- Mm-hm. - That was just meant to be
an inside joke with myself...
- Ah. - And then I
accidentally hit Send.
- Well, that's what you get for having
inside jokes with yourself
and not including me.
- I'm sorry. - Mm.
- It will never happen again.
- Mm-hm.
- Where's Ryan?
- Oh, he was tired after work,
but, uh, he did say happy birthday.
♪ ♪
- Did you...
You told him about what I said about him and that chef.
- I was upset... and he got it out of me.
- Right, and now he hates me.
- Me being honest with my fiancé
wasn't, like, a personal attack
against you. - I just don't understand
why you couldn't have kept that between us.
- Because he's my person, and I tell him everything.
That's how being married to someone works.
- I know how being married to someone works.
♪ ♪
- I feel like every time we see each other now,
we fight.
- I'm not trying to fight with you.
- I know.
♪ ♪
Okay, look, um,
this is supposed to be a party,
so let's just, like, try to have fun,
'cause that's the point of this whole thing.
- [sighs] - Anyway.
Why don't you go get yourself a soda?
Maybe you think you're mad at me,
and really, it's just low blood sugar?
- Mm.
- That's it. - That's it.
- Soda.
["Queens" by THEESatisfaction playing]
- ♪ Leave your face at the door ♪
♪ Turn off your swag ♪
- [sighs]
♪ From your limps to your Tims ♪
♪ ♪
- Recycling?
- Um, empty them out first.
♪ ♪
- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, this Syrah is too good to dump.
- You're a wine guy?
- I'm studying to be a sommelier.
- Really?
- Wine is bottled poetry.
- Yeah, I forget... who said that,
but it... it's true.
♪ ♪
Uh... - Uh...
- You're not the alcoholic.
- No, I'm... I'm the mom.
I have to make sure this party doesn't go off the rails.
- Everyone's fine.
Party doesn't need a mom.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Move your groove thing ♪
- Yeah.
♪ ♪
- Cheers, universe.
- ♪ Whatever you do don't funk with my groove ♪
- Mm. - Right?
- Mm. Am I supposed to be tasting,
um, blackberry and vanilla?
- Walnuts and smoke, yeah.
- [laughs]
- ♪ Don't funk with my groove ♪
- ♪ Sweat through your cardigans ♪
- You probably don't know this,
but I always had a crush on you.
- No, I knew. We all knew.
- Uh... uh, yeah.
Just being alone with you
in a dark corner
was basically my high school fantasy.
Yeah.
- Mm.
- ♪ Yourself ♪
- What else happens in your fantasy?
- [swallows]
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Frankie, hi. - [laughs]
- Hey. - Is, uh...
is now an okay time
to give you your present?
- Yeah.
- Do you remember,
we made these
for the cover of our binders
the night before we started the seventh grade?
[disquieting music]
You okay?
- I don't know.
[laughs]
- Look, I-I don't, um...
I didn't want this to be weird.
I just... I...
I missed you so much.
♪ ♪
Um, Leigh, I'm sorry I didn't go
to Matt's funeral.
Yeah, I just... I told myself
that you had this huge support system
and you wouldn't even notice I was there.
- What are you doing?
- I'm... I'm just trying to, um...
- Why are you bringing up my husband's funeral
at my birthday party?
- Because I feel terrible about not being there.
- [laughs] - You just... can you tell me
what I need to do to make it up to you.
I promise... - I don't know
what you should do. I'm s...
you abandoned me.
That was your choice.
And every day for the last four months,
you chose not to call or text,
and now... I don't know what you want to...
you want us to pretend like none of that happened?
I just can't do that. - No, I'm not...
I'm not pretending.
I'm sorry.
S-funerals are really hard for me.
- Funerals are hard for everyone.
♪ ♪
- Yeah, I was an idiot for coming.
- No, you're not an idiot. I told you to come.
I just wanted everything to be okay,
but it's...
it's...
not.
I... I'm not ready to forgive you.
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Yeah. - Whoo!
all: ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- Go Leigh! - Yes!
- Whoo. all: ♪ Happy birthday ♪
♪ Dear Leigh ♪
- Oh, wait, I... do... do you have to...
- Oh, I've seen her blow out every other birthday candle.
- Okay. - Mm, mm.
all: And many more!
[cheers and applause]
- Yeah!
- Thanks.
Oh, cool!
Let me clean this mess up so you guys can eat.
[laughter]
- Whoo! - Thanks.
- Okay. - Hi.
- Hi.
Hey.
[slow music]
- You guys want cake? - Yes!
- Hey, Jules, remember that time
we looked for a 24-hour Ralph's forever
because you said you wanted frosting?
- Oh, you downed that Big Gulp of vodka,
so you had to pee really bad,
but they wouldn't let you use the bathroom at Ralph's,
so you ended up peeing off the side of an overpass
and you hit a passing car.
- It was amazing.
[laughter] - I don't remember that.
- It's one of your best stories.
- How can you not remember that?
- Um, I'm gonna go get something.
♪ ♪
- Hey.
- Hi.
- What's going on?
- Uh, I don't know.
I think throwing a party was a really bad idea.
- Well, I'm having fun.
- That's good.
- Um...
I have to ask you something,
and I don't know how to do it.
- Okay.
Just ask.
♪ ♪
- Do you think Matt jumped off that cliff?
- What?
♪ ♪
No, no.
No, that'd be... that'd be crazy.
- Really?
You don't think it's crazier
that he did that hike 50 times
and that was the one time he fell?
Really?
- Did you actually invite me to your birthday party
so you could harass me about my brother's death?
- How about the fact that he was clinically depressed,
and he died in an accident
that could've easily been intentional?
♪ ♪
- You know what? I don't have to do this.
- Are you just not going to answer me?
- I don't know what you want me to say.
- I want you to tell me if you think he jumped.
- Maybe!
♪ ♪
I don't know. I wasn't there.
♪ ♪
But maybe.
♪ ♪
[laughs] Okay.
I'm leaving.
Happy birthday.
♪ ♪
- Amy, what is it?
- I just made out with The Schwab.
[laughs] - What?
No, what? - I did.
[laughter]
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
- She made out with The Schwab.
- No, shush!
- I'm sorry! It was just too good.
[laughter]
- And I just feel like
when I was drinking,
I never had to worry
about falling short,
because it was easy to think
that it was just the alcohol making me fail.
It was easy to think that if I got sober,
I would... do amazing.
I just feel like I'm failing at everything right now.
Like this thing happened at work.
I had a project I worked my ass off on
but my boss hates it.
[sighs] I don't know.
It just has not been a great week.
[dish shatters]
[intermittent shattering sounds]
- I'm supposed to make a moral inventory.
Every lie, every mistake, every insecurity.
- That sounds like literal hell.
- Which is why I'm watching "Real Housewives" instead.
- Every sober day is a miracle.
- Are you a friend of Bill's?
- Friend of Jason.
- Matt never wanted to talk about his childhood.
- People who want to talk about their childhoods are weird.
- Whatever. I'll just ask your mom.
- Don't... don't ask my mom about that.
Leave my mother out of it.
- Hi. - Hi.