My husband's body had been found near the hiking trail
at the bottom of a 42-foot drop.
He was our family, too.
We're allowed to feel heartbroken.
I hate when people use the word "condolences."
I hate it when people ask me if I was close to my brother.
Like they're trying to decide how sorry
they have to feel for me.
When I got diagnosed for depression,
it was one of the happiest days of my life.
Doctor told me I had a disease instead of a character flaw.
I wanna believe this was an accident, but I'm...
I just don't know.
I don't know what you want me to say.
I want you to tell me if you think he jumped.
Maybe!
I can't hang out with you anymore.
It's just too hard to be around you.
You have to show up for yourself.
What matters is that you do it.
Well, I have to stop being in pain every minute
of the day, 'cause I can't survive like this.
You have to go to the scariest place
to find out who you are and who you're gonna be.
- Hey, Matt, it's me. - I never really got what
you saw in her, to be honest, man.
But I get it, I guess. I mean, I... I get how
you fell in love with her 'cause...
'cause I think I am, too.
I thought it was okay for me to come over.
You invited yourself, so you forced it to be okay.
The things you said to Matt...
you should just say to me.
What I said to Matt, I said to him, not you.
Well, now I know, so why don't... why don't
we just be honest with each other and deal with it?
You were gone a while.
Well, you have no parking on your street.
- Found my phone, though. - Glove compartment?
- Cup holder. - Ding, ding, ding.
- We have to head out. - I just got back.
- Yeah, I know. - I have to be at the studio
at 5:00 a.m.
You can take a Lyft home if you want.
- Oh, no, no, it's okay. - We can... we can go.
Okay.
- I'll be outside. - All right.
What?
Why'd you tell your girlfriend I was talking... about her?
Dude, she knew.
You make it obvious every time we hang out.
Then stop making us hang out.
No, I need you guys to be friends.
- That's not gonna happen. - Okay, cool, bye, man.
- No, no, no, no, no, come on. - Don't go, don't go.
I gotta get up early for work, man.
- Well, fake sick. - I'll fake with my work.
Let's go to the beach.
We can't surf the Gold Coast if you never learn to surf.
- Uh-huh. - Tomorrow.
I'm teaching you. We're doing this.
- No, no. - A day with a sub
is a wasted day for my kids.
You're always talking about what lazy assholes
your kids are. Isn't every day a wasted day?
Uh, well, it's a little less wasted when I'm there.
Dude, you gotta grind, man. That's what grown-ups do.
You... you... you bust your ass and you stick with it
and then you build something that actually matters.
Crazy positives.
Everyone thinks you're a grinder.
The leadership skills you've been exhibiting...
and I know it's been some tough times here
the last couple months, but, uh, yeah... no one here
felt it at all, so, uh, we thought...
this made sense for your year-end bonus.
Check out all those stock options.
I quit.
You what?
Yeah.
- Hey. - Hey what?
I was just wondering if after this, you maybe wanted to...
Whoa, why are you thinking about after this?
I was just... if you wanted to grab food or...
No, I just want to do this.
Is that okay?
That is... that is definitely okay.
That is so much more than okay.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Are we good on time? - Yeah.
- My mom and sister are at work. - Perfect.
Oh, my God.
No, Jules has 20 more minutes of class.
When she gets out, you need to not be here.
- I won't be in 20 minutes. - No, no, no...
Hey, Sabrina's got a conference this weekend.
- Okay. - So I was thinking maybe
we could get out of town.
Like Ojai or Temecula,
find a B&B, do a wine tour.
Richard, no.
You're a nightmare on vacations.
How am I a nightmare?
Well... you only ever want to have room service
and you're horrible to share a bathroom with
and you never use the spit bucket...
- Who uses the spit bucket? - At wine tastings.
People who don't vomit on their wives at 3:00 in the afternoon.
- You are also a nightmare. - I am not.
But I still want to go with you.
So tell the girls you have
a silent meditation retreat and come away with me.
I just wanna spend some time with you.
- Oh, God. - And I promise...
- No. - I'll use the spit bucket.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Yes.
And pose.
Now give me all that booty.
Okay, that didn't even register on the Richter scale.
I wanna see tectonic plates. Let's level buildings, people!
From the top, full out. Don't hold back.
I know what those booties are capable of.
Yes!
Just find a spot on the floor, anywhere,
just spread out. So sorry for that wait, ladies.
- Okay, guys. - We'll finish
this combo tomorrow. Great job today, seriously.
Jules, my class starts at noon.
It's five after... oh, no, six after.
- Have a great class, Lacey. - Thanks.
So you skipped grief group for sex?
- It was my hour. - I did what I wanted with it.
Do you think you'll go next week?
- I don't know. - Group used to be
what I needed to get through the week,
but I... I need different things now.
I get it.
I was almost gonna tell Group about Trevor
but I didn't think they'd understand.
- They wouldn't. - Honestly,
me a year ago wouldn't have understood.
I would have judged you for dating someone
and I would've judged myself
for sleeping with my Postmates guy.
But I don't care what
that bitch would've thought, 'cause she had no idea
what was coming.
And this is my life
and I'm going to do things that make me feel good.
To having sex people would judge you for,
if only they knew about it.
Cheers.
Mm-hmm.
So, wait, uh, Matt's comic comes out this week?
- Tomorrow. - That's crazy.
You made his dream come true.
No, Matt made his dream come true.
I just didn't stop bothering his editor to publish
the unfinished manuscript.
Griffin's dream was to go to the Grand Canyon.
- That was his dream? - No, I know.
Uh... we have...
a half hour before class. You ready?
Your class is very hard and I'm never ready,
but let me pee and I'll be more ready.
Great.
What... Top 40 are we listening to this morning?
I wanna hear.
One more time.
Our next phrase is, "You're welcome."
You tell Mom about your trip yet?
Whenever Mom's involved with anything,
it becomes The Amy Show.
Yes, it does.
Have you looked into flights yet?
I feel like I need to learn some Vietnamese
before I can even think about flights.
Well, backpackers go to Vietnam all the time
without learning how to speak the language.
Yeah, but for those backpackers,
it's just a vacation,
and for me it's going back to the place
I was born, so... I just wanna be ready.
I've been, uh, waiting for you both to tell you
this thing that's really cool.
- Oh, what cool thing? - I love cool things.
My student Crystal is friends with Britt Dillon,
who owns The Sweat on West 3rd and Crystal showed
her Instagrams of my class.
And now this lady's coming
to my class tomorrow and if she likes it,
I think she's gonna ask me to teach
for her on Tuesday nights.
Oh, my goodness, that's great, Jules.
I wanna hug you before you get too famous!
I'm so proud of you.
Okay, even if I get too famous,
I'll tell my bodyguards to make an exception for you.
I really appreciate that.
I'm... gonna head out.
- You gonna see Matt's comic? - Mm-hmm.
- Want us to come? - No, I'm good.
- Welcome. - Hi.
♪ ♪
What do you think?
So is the idea that it's just, like, uh...
it's a mix of freestyling and posing?
Um, there's also sexy walks and butt dancing.
My students like expressing themselves
and making the combos their own.
Also, most of them aren't good enough
to do actual choreography.
Oh, got it.
What?
- I think it's really good. - I like it, it's fun.
I... I just feel like you have this crazy opportunity tonight
and... you should just, like, bring your A-game.
What game do you think I'm bringing right now?
I don't... it's, like, somewhere in the B range.
- The B range. - Okay, Jules,
you asked me what I thought. Do you want me to tell you
it's perfect or do you want me to tell you the truth?
I thought they were gonna be the same thing.
Hi.
Don't you need to go to your silent retreat?
- Uh, that's later tonight. - What's going on?
Apparently I have to redo my whole class in two hours.
Jesus, Jules, I didn't tell you it was in the F range.
A B and an F are the same thing, everybody knows that.
- Sweetheart. - Um, if you're not ready,
I'm... I'm sure that this woman can reschedule.
I... I'm ready.
Look, I'm just gonna redo the combo, okay?
- Okay. - I have to go meet Drew,
but Jules, hey.
I was really just trying to help.
- I know. - I just needed a second
to process and... you're right.
This is a B. It needs to be an A.
And you've got this.
- Yeah. - Yeah, you got this.
- Yeah. - Okay, see you later.
See ya.
And we are...
- published. - Yay.
I think dumb quizzes are your calling.
Please don't ever say that again.
You're my best dumb quiz writer.
I wanna be your best smart, real writer.
We don't have smart,
real writers on our site anymore.
No, no, no, no. It's just sad,
pandering clickbait.
But can't you, like, Trojan Horse pieces
so that they look like clickbait on the outside,
but they're actually really smart when you read them?
No, I can't, because I edit 50 posts a day
and I'm an empty husk of a human.
But our beauty vertical is expanding,
so if you wanna write, like, a makeup review
that takes down the patriarchy, be my guest.
Yeah, okay.
Send me makeup. I'll give that a try.
Done.
Don't spy on me.
Don't text Danny.
I just...
I haven't heard from him in a while
and I don't know what's going on.
- I do. - He's in love with you
and he feels appropriately terrible about it.
- No, he's not. - He's just in...
so much pain right now that he doesn't know
what he's feeling, which I get 'cause that was me
for, like, the last six months.
Yes, it was a stupid voicemail. It didn't mean anything.
- Okay. - Didn't mean anything.
- Look, can I just say... - Mm.
I feel like...
Matt's phone has only brought you trouble
and that maybe you should put it away.
I like looking at his photos and videos before bed,
'cause it helps me fall asleep.
Oh, you shouldn't be looking at anyone's phone before bed.
'Cause the blue light and the LED screens.
Also, you realize it's the 21st century
and you can put anything you want from Matt's phone
- on your computer, right? - Yeah, I know.
So...
What is this really about?
It's not really about anything.
I'm good.
What? I'm fine,
I'm moving forward with my life.
And you have more of my quizzes that you need to edit
'cause people need to know which Taylor Swift song
best describes how they lost their virginity.
- I'm using that. - Great.
Okay, back to editing.
- Don't text Danny! - I'm not gonna text Danny!
Uh... is... is Danny around?
- Oh, no. - We apartment swapped.
You what?
We're subletting from each other.
- Oh. - Yeah, I wanted to be closer
to work and he wanted to live by the beach.
- Okay. - Craigslist is awesome.
You know, people always talk about the serial killers,
but there's other stuff, too.
Yeah, I don't... I don't think Danny's a serial killer,
but I haven't seen him in a while so you never know.
Have a good one.
Yep.
- We gotta... we gotta surf soon. - Let's... let's get on this.
Yeah, I know, uh, it's just been so busy,
but, um... I don't know.
We'll... figure out a day.
Uh...
Hey, you know, Leigh's always been wanting
to learn how to surf. Maybe you could teach us both.
Stop with the Leigh already, man.
She's actually trying and maybe if you tried too...
How 'bout I just stay out of you guys' way until
the two of you break up and then you get
a new girlfriend that I actually like?
That's not happening.
Here's what's happening.
I'm gonna ask Leigh to marry me,
so you need to figure out a way to like her.
You... no.
Please. Don't do this.
She's gonna ruin you.
Leigh's going to be in my life.
I want you to be in my life. You need to figure out
how to have a relationship with her.
So what's your deal?
Let's see, I quit my job, got a motorcycle,
and I went on Tinder and swiped right on a girl
holding a baby llama. Here we are.
His name is Lima, 'cause that's where llamas are from.
- That's awesome. - You're awesome.
Do you need to get that?
No.
You have reached the voicemail box of...
Danny Greer.
At the tone, please record your voice message.
Danny...
We said we weren't going to hang out anymore.
You didn't tell me you were never going
to speak to me ever again.
It sucks that we were in each other's lives
and now you've dropped off the face of the earth.
I think... I think it sucks.
And you know who else would think it sucks?
Matt would think it sucks. He would hate it if he knew
you were doing this to me, so why don't you just
think about that the next time you decide
to ignore all of my messages.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
What's going on?
Well, Jules has this great opportunity
and she's really excited, but...
I have this horrible feeling that
it is not gonna turn out right and I am so afraid
of what is gonna happen when she gets her heart broken.
And Leigh says that she's moving on,
but it's only been six months so, I just...
They need me and I can't leave them.
- Okay, okay. - They need you, I get that.
But, Amy...
what do you need?
- Okay. - You guys got this.
Let's just take it from the walk, walk.
In five, six, seven, eight.
Walk, walk, step, step,
passé, and look.
Okay.
Great, let's just keep going.
Circle, two, back, four,
and five, down six, fan, kick.
Are we not doing any of the combo from yesterday?
You guys are just doing so awesome,
I thought I'd kick it up a notch.
I thought what we did yesterday was good.
Oh, I did, too, but... this'll be good.
It'll make more sense when I put it to music.
♪ ♪
In five, six, seven, eight.
Step, flick.
- I can't do this. - I know, me neither.
Okay, uh...
good job, you guys. Let's just break it down.
I'll go really slow, I promise, okay?
That voicemail you left me was messed up.
- Well, it was the truth. - Your truth, not mine, Leigh.
I don't wanna hear you talk about what
Matt would have or wouldn't have wanted
when we both know he wouldn't want any of this.
Well, I think Matt would've wanted us
to look out for each other.
The person who made us in-laws is dead.
We're not family anymore and we've never been friends.
I still think that we're something to each other.
What if I don't wanna be something to each other?
What if I'm trying to move on with my life,
but I keep not knowing what's going on with you
and I just need to know you're okay,
so that I can get on with everything?
What about that?
I don't wanna always be texting you.
How about you just sometimes text me?
I don't want to have to think about what to say.
You don't have to think about what to say.
Just, like... Why don't you send
me an emoji? I'll send you one back.
That way you know I'm okay and I'll know you're okay.
I'll think about it.
- What is there to think about? - It's an emoji.
Dude, I am asking you for so little.
Hey, you wanted to have a conversation.
Now we've had it. We're done here, Leigh.
Good night.
You haven't left for your retreat yet?
- I canceled last minute. - You want some tea?
Sure.
I have a weird question.
Oh, that's my favorite kind.
- Will you cut my hair? - Me?
You did it for me when I was little.
- And you hated it. - You always wanted
to go to a real person.
You're a real person and I would like
you to cut my hair.
- Why? - It's...
been six months since Matt died and they say you
grow half an inch every month. So that's, like, three inches
of grief hair and I don't want it on my head any more.
And I don't want a stranger to cut it.
- How was class? - Not great.
Are you okay?
No, but I'm hungry.
Are you making cookies?
That's for you.
You bought me cookie dough.
Well, I think if there was a salmonella outbreak,
we'd know about it.
Or you bought me cookie dough
because you knew I was going to tank my class.
- No. - No, no, no.
I was... I was just at the supermarket and, um...
I... I... well, I thought it could be
celebration cookie dough or consolation cookie dough.
I've never eaten cookie dough to celebrate.
I've only ever eaten it to hate myself.
- Sorry. - Mom was just trying
to do something nice for you.
Didn't work.
Hey, Jules.
Tonight didn't go your way and I'm sorry,
but that is not Mom's fault or mine.
No...
Actually, I think it's mine.
I trusted you and I should've maybe trusted myself.
But I can't stop seeing myself through your eyes,
this idiot child who is always going to screw everything up.
And the longer I stay here,
the less I'll be able to see myself any other way.
Where are you going?
- Richard and Sabrina's. - When will you be back?
I'm not sure I'm coming back.
So Richard texted and said that Sabrina and Jules
had been up all night talking
and apparently...
she's asked if she can stay there
until she gets a place of her own.
I mean, do you think this is real?
I don't know... I...
I feel like she's just figuring things out
and we need to let her.
So, sure about this?
- Oh, yeah. - I am ready.
Okay.
I don't know if it was an accident or a choice,
but whatever the hell it was, it was stupid.
It was just stupid because you had everything.
You had Leigh.
I never really got what you saw in her, to be honest, man.
But I get it, I guess.
I mean, I... I get how you fell in love with her,
because...
because I...
I know Christmas might be hard, but it's a time
for the whole family to come together
and, you know... Team Shaw.
- What are you doing? - I'm gonna jump in the pool.
Do it.
- He was... - in my dream last night.
- Matt? - It was really nice
to laugh with him again. It felt really real.
Do you dream about Matt?
'Cause I don't anymore.
Is there a way that you can
make your mind dream about someone?
You're hoping that Matt's gonna come
and visit you on your plane.
But if you wanna see him,
you're gonna have to find him on his plane.