>> when you're famous, you know, people think that you're just famous, and everything is great.
People think that you're just famous, and everything is great. But no.
Famous, and everything is great. But no. We go through things.
And they're real.
And they're there.
Like, we're human people.
Who cares that we're fa--
like, we're human people. Who cares that we're fa-- I don't --
who cares that we're fa-- I don't -- I hate fame, sometimes,
because people get it twisted.
We're human.
Because people get it twisted. We're human. I really want people to know...
The real me.
And the real me is...
A human being, you know?
And I have grown so much
a human being, you know? And I have grown so much over the years.
'cause I used to be
a little hothead, honey.
Y'all know keke was
the crazy girl, baby.
You jump in my face, child,
I'm gonna slap you down.
But I'm not like that in life.
And you know, things in my life
but I'm not like that in life. And you know, things in my life help you to grow.
♪
my mom is a beautiful, blond-haired, blue eyed white girl,
and my daddy is a beautiful,
brown-skinned, chocolate
indian/african-american man
who made some great people --
and not just physically,
but spiritually.
And not just physically, but spiritually. Because, spiritually, my parents
are very driven by the lord.
And so...
Are very driven by the lord. And so... It's kind of all we knew
and so... It's kind of all we knew growing up.
We went to school and church.
Growing up. We went to school and church. But my parents
we went to school and church. But my parents are so beautiful.
Unfortunately,
they're not together anymore.
But they were together
my whole life.
The biggest lesson
that I learned from my parents,
the biggest lesson that I learned from my parents, I'd have to say, is,
when you love someone,
do everything you can
to stick it out, and stay.
Do everything you can to stick it out, and stay. 'cause I can tell that
my parents love each other.
They still do.
My parents love each other. They still do. They flirt,
they still do. They flirt, and I'm like, "y'all are gross."
they flirt, and I'm like, "y'all are gross." when you have the one,
you have the one.
When you have the one, you have the one. And they taught me that.
You have the one. And they taught me that. Like, when you have the one,
and they taught me that. Like, when you have the one, you got the one.
And, you know, you do whatever
it is that you need to do
and, you know, you do whatever it is that you need to do to stick and stay.
It is that you need to do to stick and stay. I have four brothers.
To stick and stay. I have four brothers. And...
If I could go down the line,
and... If I could go down the line, it's cliff, keyver,
if I could go down the line, it's cliff, keyver, kendall, and ducky.
It's cliff, keyver, kendall, and ducky. And I love the entire hell
out of my brothers.
I will beat your ass
to my brothers.
Like, boom.
To my brothers. Like, boom. Don't mess with my brothers.
I used to protect them.
Now, they protect me.
And it's beautiful.
I love it.
Like...I've never had
any sisters, biologically.
And I wish that I had,
but I don't.
But having my brothers...
But I don't. But having my brothers... Three of them are gay,
but having my brothers... Three of them are gay, so we had barbies,
three of them are gay, so we had barbies, barbies days.
So we had barbies, barbies days. >> and we -- and we had fun.
Barbies days. >> and we -- and we had fun. Hell, it was amazing.
So, I really
hell, it was amazing. So, I really didn't need a sister.
It would have been nice
to have a sister,
it would have been nice to have a sister, but god didn't give me a sister.
To have a sister, but god didn't give me a sister. He gave me brothers
that liked dollies.
I was the boy of the house.
That liked dollies. I was the boy of the house. [ laughs ]
I'm still the boy of the house.
Oh, my god.
My husband, we always joke
oh, my god. My husband, we always joke with each other.
And zachariah, he's like,
"babe, you're you're the dad.
And I think I'm the mom."
I'm like, "yeah, it's okay.
I got it."
it just -- it works like that.
I don't know why, but it does.
It just -- it works like that. I don't know why, but it does. It's amazing.
One of my earliest memories
it's amazing. One of my earliest memories were singing with my granny,
one of my earliest memories were singing with my granny, my mom's mother.
Were singing with my granny, my mom's mother. And we were singing
"oh, when the saints
and we were singing "oh, when the saints go marching in."
one of my earliest childhood
memories is at church
with my family
and my church family.
With my family and my church family. And...
And my church family. And... I was 5.
And I remember thinking,
"lord, I just want to be saved,
and I remember thinking, "lord, I just want to be saved, and I just want to sing,
and sing for you."
and...
And sing for you." and... It happened.
And... It happened. Hello.
I'm saved.
I remember that was, like,
my first, like, time performing,
or whatever,
singing in front of people.
Or whatever, singing in front of people. And I was at church.
Singing in front of people. And I was at church. And I was not scared at all.
I was so excited.
And my first song
was called "beautiful."
and my first song was called "beautiful." and my daddy taught it to me.
Was called "beautiful." and my daddy taught it to me. I remember thinking to myself,
like, "ooh, I get to sing.
And I'm not scared.
Like, "ooh, I get to sing. And I'm not scared. And I'm happy.
I'm excited."
and I'm happy. I'm excited." and I sang that song,
and the whole church
went in an uproar.
And the whole church went in an uproar. They were like,
"this little girl
they were like, "this little girl is singing like that?"
and I was thinking,
"I didn't even do nothing.
And I was thinking, "I didn't even do nothing. What are you talking about?"
but now that I'm an adult,
what are you talking about?" but now that I'm an adult, and I hear children sing
like grown-ups,
and I'm like, "what?"
doing that as a little girl,
and...
Doing that as a little girl, and... It was regular.
And... It was regular. It was normal to me.
But to everybody else, like,
it was normal to me. But to everybody else, like, in the church, they're like,
but to everybody else, like, in the church, they're like, "oh, jesus, thank you, lord."
and you know -- "oh!" --
you know?
And you know -- "oh!" -- you know? And I'm just sitting there like,
"I didn't do nothing."
and I'm just sitting there like, "I didn't do nothing." when I was 10, I did...
Record for the first time.
When I was 10, I did... Record for the first time. And his name's r.H. Duncan.
He knew emanuel officer.
And they're great writers,
he knew emanuel officer. And they're great writers, and stuff.
And I remember I recorded
my first song,
and I remember I recorded my first song, and it was called "what if?"
and the feeling that I felt
while I was recording was like,
"ooh!
While I was recording was like, "ooh! I can do this like this,
and I could do this like that."
and "ooh, I can redo it.
And I could do this like that." and "ooh, I can redo it. I didn't like that,
but I can redo that."
it was amazing.
But I can redo that." it was amazing. I hated...Elementary school.
It was amazing. I hated...Elementary school. When I was in elementary school,
it was, like, the worst time
when I was in elementary school, it was, like, the worst time of my life because I was
a little biracial girl,
and people were so mean.
A little biracial girl, and people were so mean. Like, I wasn't black enough
for the black girls.
I wasn't white enough
for the white girls.
And I just -- I felt so out
of place, and it was so weird.
And I used to ask my parents,
like, "why?
Why did you do this to me?"
and they're like, "do what?"
why did you do this to me?" and they're like, "do what?" and I'm like,
"why would you make me
this way?"
and they're like,
"what are you talking about?"
and then, I'm like,
I'm -- I'm not --
I don't know what I am."
I didn't know.
I didn't know for a long time.
I'm just ke'tara shavon,
and that's just who I am.
And I've learned to just
love myself.
And it's not about
what other people think of me.
It's about what god
thinks of me,
it's about what god thinks of me, and it's about what my family
think, and how they love me.
And it's about what my family think, and how they love me. And if you don't love me
for who I am,
and if you don't love me for who I am, then, just, could you please
just get out of my way?
Then, just, could you please just get out of my way? You know?
Just get out of my way? You know? Just move,
you know? Just move, so I can enjoy my day.
If you're out of my way,
I can enjoy my day.
So, you know,
that is kind of all
so, you know, that is kind of all I can really remember
about elementary school.
And, you know,
it was pretty -- it was rough.
It was tough.
It was pretty -- it was rough. It was tough. I ain't gonna lie.
It was -- it was bad.
And I was in indiana,
it was -- it was bad. And I was in indiana, and it was, like, in the '80's,
and I was in indiana, and it was, like, in the '80's, in the '90's.
And it was, like, in the '80's, in the '90's. It was kind of tough.
In the '90's. It was kind of tough. I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to cry.
When I was in high school,
about 15 years old, um,
when I was in high school, about 15 years old, um, I recorded my first love
with avant.
First of all,
I was a little girl.
I'd never heard the song before
in my life.
I was a church girl --
am a church girl, still.
But all I knew was church songs.
Am a church girl, still. But all I knew was church songs. Jesus all the way, honey.
And so, he was like,
jesus all the way, honey. And so, he was like, "hey, kee, you know...
I got this song.
I want you to get on it."
I'll was like "okay.
Let me hear it.
And so, I listened to it,
let me hear it. And so, I listened to it, and was like, "oh.
Yeah, that's -- that's cute.
And was like, "oh. Yeah, that's -- that's cute. That's -- that's groovy.
I dig it.
It's dope.
Okay."
it's dope. Okay." he said, "I want you
okay." he said, "I want you to record it with me."
and I was like, "ugh."
and he was like, "what?"
I was like,
"it's like old people."
he was like, "when you put
your voice on there,
I promise you will sing
this forever."
and I was like, "okay."
so, I did it.
And I was like, "okay." so, I did it. Oh, my god.
So, I did it. Oh, my god. And I'm doing it forever.
I'm doing it forever.
I've been doing it forever.
Like, if I can explain,
from my heart,
like, if I can explain, from my heart, the feeling that I felt
when I was in the car,
and I was -- I think I was 18
at the time --
and...
At the time -- and... I heard me on the radio.
And... I heard me on the radio. I was like...
"who -- is that?
Is that me?"
I was like, "that's me.
Oh, my god.
I'm on the radio.
What?"
I never wanted to be famous.
I never wanted to be
on the radio for real.
I wanted to just sing.
On the radio for real. I wanted to just sing. Now, if I was famous
for acting, that's different.
But singing, I didn't want
to be famous for singing.
But I am.
To be famous for singing. But I am. He was like,
but I am. He was like, "oh, my god.
Girl, you just have no idea."
and I was like, "about what?"
girl, you just have no idea." and I was like, "about what?" he said,
"honey, this song is gonna go."
I was like, "okay."
so, I look up,
and it's been 21 years.
So, I look up, and it's been 21 years. And I'm still 28.
And it's been 21 years. And I'm still 28. That part -- period.
[ laughs ]
that part -- period. [ laughs ] yes, I did it
when I was first born, y'all.
Yes, I did it when I was first born, y'all. And it's still ringing.
When I was first born, y'all. And it's still ringing. And I'm still singing
and it's still ringing. And I'm still singing that same song.
Golly.
That same song. Golly. Where did time g--
golly. Where did time g-- I hate time.
Time sucks.
It flies by too fast.
♪ >> some of my musical
inspirations, I have to say, is whitney houston.
Inspirations, I have to say, is whitney houston. She's a beautiful soul.
Is whitney houston. She's a beautiful soul. I love mariah carey.
And...
My favorite is shania twain.
And my gospel favorite
my favorite is shania twain. And my gospel favorite is dorinda clark.
Like, you cannot come
for dorinda.
If you come for dorinda,
I will come for you.
I think, like, my musical me is,
like, in love with
her musical her.
Like, in love with her musical her. And it's like,
nobody can do better than her.
She ministers to my soul.
Nobody can do better than her. She ministers to my soul. And when she ministers
she ministers to my soul. And when she ministers to my soul,
and when she ministers to my soul, I just want to sing.
To my soul, I just want to sing. And I just want to just...
Open my whole flower.
Like, is -- I love her.
Yeah.
Yep.
♪
>> steve hough is a clown, a goofball, um, an amazing bass player,
amazing producer.
An amazing bass player, amazing producer. I have so much respect for him
because...
He...Just...
Because... He...Just... Does the dang thing.
Does that make sense?
Like, he just...
Does it.
If there's anything
does it. If there's anything he wants to do, he just does it.
My whole first album,
"soul sister,"
my whole first album, "soul sister," he did that whole album.
And that album is still feeding
me and my family to this day.
This is 2022.
Me and my family to this day. This is 2022. That album came out in 2001.
We're still eating from that.
Like, the guy is amazing.
So, when I first put out
like, the guy is amazing. So, when I first put out my album in 2001,
so, when I first put out my album in 2001, "soul sister," of course,
steve hough was a part of it.
But a lot of people
don't realize that
but a lot of people don't realize that randy jackson was, like,
the a&r.
Randy jackson was, like, the a&r. And now, randy jackson is, like,
randy jackson.
But people don't realize --
I've known randy forever,
but people don't realize -- I've known randy forever, so, when we click up,
it's like, we clown out.
So, when we click up, it's like, we clown out. But to everybody else,
we're like,
but to everybody else, we're like, "that's randy jackson."
and I'm like, "it's just randy."
you know?
And I'm like, "it's just randy." you know? To me, he's randy.
You know? To me, he's randy. He's a cool, sweet,
to me, he's randy. He's a cool, sweet, precious, precious soul.
Like, you can't mistake that guy
for anything else besides
like, you can't mistake that guy for anything else besides being precious.
For anything else besides being precious. He's wonderful.
Being precious. He's wonderful. And I'm just so happy
he's wonderful. And I'm just so happy that, um, he was a part
and I'm just so happy that, um, he was a part of my career, as well.
That, um, he was a part of my career, as well. Like, he helped
get me started, too.
Like, it's so crazy.
Get me started, too. Like, it's so crazy. And steve corbin.
Like, there's --
and steve corbin. Like, there's -- there's so many people
like, there's -- there's so many people that I could just name.
There's so many people that I could just name. I'm grateful for all these
people because...
They get overlooked,
and it's not fair.
So, if you could pull
all the people together
so, if you could pull all the people together that make us who we are,
they literally get up under us,
and they build us --
build us up,
when they're really
the ones standing there,
holding us together.
The ones standing there, holding us together. Like, if they weren't there,
we wouldn't be as high
like, if they weren't there, we wouldn't be as high as we are.
We wouldn't be as high as we are. I'm appreciative for that.
As we are. I'm appreciative for that. I can't speak for all these
uppity-ass people,
artists -- ugh -- that think
they're just so this
and so that.
They're just so this and so that. Baby, you didn't get you there,
sweetheart, alone.
It takes a team.
Sweetheart, alone. It takes a team. One of my craziest memories
it takes a team. One of my craziest memories is when randy jackson told me,
one of my craziest memories is when randy jackson told me, he said...
Is when randy jackson told me, he said... "now, you know,
the fame comes before
the fortune."
and I was like...
The fortune." and I was like... "well, that sucks."
he said, "I know.
You got to get famous first,
honey, then you'll get
you got to get famous first, honey, then you'll get your fortune."
I was like, "okay."
so, then, I get this big plaque.
It's a gold plaque.
So, then, I get this big plaque. It's a gold plaque. Then, I get a platinum plaque.
And I'm like, "ooh.
Okay."
and I'm like, "ooh. Okay." there the hell's my money?"
okay." there the hell's my money?" [ laughs ]
but, baby, when I tell you, when the coins started rolling in, I said,
"well, look at [indistinct]."
mm.
That is, like, one of my main
memories that I can think of.
Because I was so pissed off
at the fact that he said
because I was so pissed off at the fact that he said I have to be famous first,
before I can get the fortune.
I'm like...
Before I can get the fortune. I'm like... "I grew up poor, sir.
I want some money.
If I'm gonna be famous,
I want money."
if I'm gonna be famous, I want money." he said, "right.
You gotta be famous.
He said, "right. You gotta be famous. Then, you can get you money."
you gotta be famous. Then, you can get you money." I said, "well, [bleep]."
then, you can get you money." I said, "well, [bleep]." well, I'm famous,
and I got my money, honey.
Well, I'm famous, and I got my money, honey. Thank you, jesus.
And I got my money, honey. Thank you, jesus. Best memories ever.
>> after mci records, I did sign with cash money records.
And everything was wonderful
at the time.
But when that daggone --
what's her name, katrina,
but when that daggone -- what's her name, katrina, miss thing -- came in,
and blew the whole world away --
my whole world, anyways,
and just ruined everything.
My whole world, anyways, and just ruined everything. Like, all of my...
And just ruined everything. Like, all of my... My music,
like, all of my... My music, everything that I recorded,
my music, everything that I recorded, like, everything was ruined.
Everything that I recorded, like, everything was ruined. I was like, "why?
Like, everything was ruined. I was like, "why? What is going on?"
and they were such wonderful,
what is going on?" and they were such wonderful, sweet, genuine people.
And they were such wonderful, sweet, genuine people. But I don't think it was meant
because, like,
but I don't think it was meant because, like, it was so many things
that were set up so perfectly,
that just kind of...
So, I'm like, "whatever." but then, they got nicki minaj, so, honey, they didn't
give a damn about keke.
So, honey, they didn't give a damn about keke. They had her.
Give a damn about keke. They had her. And she did the damn thing.
And bless her.
I think she's a beautiful,
and bless her. I think she's a beautiful, wonderful person.
But it wasn't -- I don't --
it wasn't for me, with them,
but it wasn't -- I don't -- it wasn't for me, with them, so...
It wasn't for me, with them, so... I met nicki minaj
back in new york some years ago
with my lawyer,
londell mcmillan.
With my lawyer, londell mcmillan. I met her on a boat.
Londell mcmillan. I met her on a boat. And it's like a party boat,
for her birthday or something,
and it's like a party boat, for her birthday or something, in new york.
For her birthday or something, in new york. And...
In new york. And... She said, "yo, keke.
Oh, my god.
I love you.
Like, let me tell you,
like, right now,
like, let me tell you, like, right now, like, I saw you on 'divas,'
and it was like you was gonna
fall out the tv, yo.
And it was like you was gonna fall out the tv, yo. Like, I love you.
Fall out the tv, yo. Like, I love you. Like, you are amazing."
like, I love you. Like, you are amazing." and I said, "oh, my word, girl.
You think I'm amazing?"
she said, "oh, my god, keke,
you think I'm amazing?" she said, "oh, my god, keke, you don't understand.
She said, "oh, my god, keke, you don't understand. Like, I was watching you
on the tv,
like, I was watching you on the tv, on the box,
and you was, like,
coming out of the box."
I was like...
Coming out of the box." I was like... "really?"
she said, "oh, my god, yes.
I love you.
She said, "oh, my god, yes. I love you. Like, yours --
your voice is amazing,
like, yours -- your voice is amazing, but you on the tv, you --
yo, you need to be on tv,
like, all the time.
Yo, you need to be on tv, like, all the time. Like, I love your voice.
Like, all the time. Like, I love your voice. Like on tv, though, like --
like, I love your voice. Like on tv, though, like -- but I love you singing,
like on tv, though, like -- but I love you singing, but you on tv."
I was like,
"ooh, I love how she talks.
It's so cute.
I wonder if I can do that."
it's so cute. I wonder if I can do that." can I do that?
I don't know.
Can I do that? I don't know. [as nicki] "yo."
[ laughs ]
I love her.
She's a sweet little
sugar lump plum.
I swear.
Sugar lump plum. I swear. But yeah, that was, like,
amazing, 'cause I love her.
The girl can sing.
Amazing, 'cause I love her. The girl can sing. She can rap.
She's cute.
She fine.
Body banging.
Mercy lord.
I mean,
mercy lord. I mean, she's a little cutie patootie.
So, when my first album
came out, yes, I had two babies.
One was my album,
and one was my baby,
one was my album, and one was my baby, keyver.
And one was my baby, keyver. We call him "peeny weenie
leeney deeney beanie
we call him "peeny weenie leeney deeney beanie beanie bean."
and, um...
Beanie bean." and, um... Bean was a year old.
And, um... Bean was a year old. And I was 18,
bean was a year old. And I was 18, gonna be 19.
It's so funny because,
when I think about
it's so funny because, when I think about what they said to me --
"you need to get an abortion.
What they said to me -- "you need to get an abortion. You need to get rid of,"
you know, "that,
you need to get rid of," you know, "that, because it's gonna get it --
he's gonna get -- it..." --
they kept saying "it" --
"...Is gonna get in the way of,
you know,
what we're trying to do."
and I will never say
who said that,
but you know
who you are, suckers.
But you know who you are, suckers. But...
Who you are, suckers. But... I get where they were
but... I get where they were coming from,
but at the same time,
um, no.
But at the same time, um, no. Mnh-mnh.
Um, no. Mnh-mnh. "well, you know your career
mnh-mnh. "well, you know your career ain't gonna do this,
and ain't gonna do that
if you have that baby."
and I said, "that's fine.
If you have that baby." and I said, "that's fine. Okay.
And I said, "that's fine. Okay. And if it doesn't,
okay. And if it doesn't, I don't care."
and if it doesn't, I don't care." and I had my baby.
And then, I had my other baby --
which went gold,
and then, I had my other baby -- which went gold, and then it went platinum,
and then, it's been feeding us
forever.
And then, it's been feeding us forever. And bean is 22.
Forever. And bean is 22. Keyver -- he's 22 years old.
My faith in god is, like,
keyver -- he's 22 years old. My faith in god is, like, the biggest thing in my life,
my faith in god is, like, the biggest thing in my life, because faith has gotten me
through so many things.
Because faith has gotten me through so many things. It's gotten me through horrible
marriages, it's gotten me
it's gotten me through horrible marriages, it's gotten me through domestic violence,
it's gotten me through
losing a child.
It's gotten me through losing a child. It's gotten me through dealing
with a child with cancer.
It's getting me through
a situation
it's getting me through a situation with my -- my current baby
that I just had, ke'zyah jean.
With my -- my current baby that I just had, ke'zyah jean. And, um...
That I just had, ke'zyah jean. And, um... Without the faith of god,
and, um... Without the faith of god, I would have terminated
without the faith of god, I would have terminated my child,
like the doctors suggested
that I should do.
[ exhales ] and I thank god that I didn't make that decision,
'cause when I look at my sweet
little boy, he's so precious.
And I think, "oh, I could have
killed this little person
and I think, "oh, I could have killed this little person listening to these people."
but my faith...
Listening to these people." but my faith... I kept my faith.
But my faith... I kept my faith. By keeping my faith in god...
My baby is so beautiful,
by keeping my faith in god... My baby is so beautiful, and he's so healthy.
Y'all, they asked me
did I want a memorial box.
Before I even gave birth
to a baby, they said,
before I even gave birth to a baby, they said, "do you want a memorial box?"
"no.
I don't want a casket
for my baby.
He's not even born yet.
For my baby. He's not even born yet. Why would you ask me that?"
he's not even born yet. Why would you ask me that?" you know, and I understand
why would you ask me that?" you know, and I understand the situation.
You know, and I understand the situation. I do.
The situation. I do. Please understand that.
But at the same time,
please understand that. But at the same time, my faith...
It stood so strong, you know?
My faith... It stood so strong, you know? I just thank god that...
He's in our lives.
And I'm sorry for fussing.
Excuse me, but I just --
and I'm sorry for fussing. Excuse me, but I just -- when it comes to...My god,
excuse me, but I just -- when it comes to...My god, and my faith, and my family,
that is, like,
the biggest thing for me.
That is, like, the biggest thing for me. If I could never sing
another note,
if I could never sing another note, if I could never, um,
perform another movie,
or a show, or whatever...
Perform another movie, or a show, or whatever... You know...
Or a show, or whatever... You know... I have the lord,
you know... I have the lord, and I have my faith.
And I need people to understand
that, if you just -- if you know
and I need people to understand that, if you just -- if you know god, and if you believe in
the lord, have your faith,
because it really works.
The lord, have your faith, because it really works. It's a real thing.
Because it really works. It's a real thing. It's real.
They told me my baby
it's real. They told me my baby was gonna come out dead.
They offered me a freaking
casket for my unborn baby.
And here he is.
Casket for my unborn baby. And here he is. He's about to be a month old.
And he's...
In the best --
and he's... In the best -- he's wonderful.
He has a few things,
you know, he's on oxygen,
he has a few things, you know, he's on oxygen, but it's only, you know,
very small --
a very small amount.
Very small -- a very small amount. And he has a little tube
for feeding, in his nose,
and he has a little tube for feeding, in his nose, which...Won't be very long
because he likes to suck
on that binky, honey.
Because he likes to suck on that binky, honey. And I said, "child, it's green.
On that binky, honey. And I said, "child, it's green. If you keep sucking it like that
and I said, "child, it's green. If you keep sucking it like that is gonna be clear
if you keep sucking it like that is gonna be clear by the time you done."
but he -- that's the only thing.
By the time you done." but he -- that's the only thing. And I'll take that
for a beautiful, healthy baby.
>> when I was younger, yes, I said that I wanted 8 to 10 kids because I felt like
a total outcast growing up.
Kids because I felt like a total outcast growing up. And I felt like, if I could have
my own little city,
and I felt like, if I could have my own little city, my own little world,
in my own home,
that....
In my own home, that.... I'm good.
That.... I'm good. And they...
They keep me moving.
And I still feel that way.
Like...I don't need anybody.
I feel like I don't even --
like...I don't need anybody. I feel like I don't even -- if the whole world
just crumbled away --
no shade, I love everybody
that's out there, y'all,
don't get it twisted.
That's out there, y'all, don't get it twisted. But if y'all faded away, and I
had my house, with my children,
but if y'all faded away, and I had my house, with my children, and my husband, and my life now,
and my -- my parents,
my brothers --
yeah, I'm adding --
hey, my family, okay?
Yeah, I'm adding -- hey, my family, okay? I would be good.
Hey, my family, okay? I would be good. Like, I wouldn't need
nothing else.
I just wouldn't.
Nothing else. I just wouldn't. The unconditional love
that your children give you,
the unconditional love that your children give you, as a mother,
like, I could scream at them,
and just say,
"get away from me."
you know, "you're driving me
nuts."
but in the same breath,
they're just like,
"mommy, I love you."
and I'm just --
and they're like...
"I just said you were driving me nuts. I love you, too."
>> like, I'm so ridiculous
with my kids.
But it's just the unconditional
love part, it is truly amazing.
Let's talk about motherhood.
Love part, it is truly amazing. Let's talk about motherhood. I have 11 children,
let's talk about motherhood. I have 11 children, and they have all been created
and made in marriage.
And they have all been created and made in marriage. No ho here --
well, a little bit of a ho,
no ho here -- well, a little bit of a ho, but I'm a how in the bedroom.
Well, a little bit of a ho, but I'm a how in the bedroom. Should-- shouldn't a wife
be a ho to her husband?
If I was a husband,
I would want a ho at home.
Don't be no ho in these streets.
Don't be the -- don't have the
don't be no ho in these streets. Don't be the -- don't have the [indistinct] baby
don't be the -- don't have the [indistinct] baby [ laughs ]
be a whore at home, with me,
in the home.
Be a whore at home, with me, in the home. Yes.
In the home. Yes. I have 11 children.
Golly.
What was I thinking?
I always say,
what was I thinking? I always say, when I was a little girl,
that I wanted a lot of children.
When I was a little girl, that I wanted a lot of children. I used to always say, "mommy,
I'm gonna have between 8 and
and 10."
well, I'm at 11, so...
And 10." well, I'm at 11, so... We'll see what the rest brings
of life.
I think I'm gonna do one more.
Of life. I think I'm gonna do one more. I keep saying "one more,
one more,"
and I done did one more,
let's see -- wyatt, bella,
kendall, ke'riah, ke'zyah.
Let's see -- wyatt, bella, kendall, ke'riah, ke'zyah. That was four kids ago.
Kendall, ke'riah, ke'zyah. That was four kids ago. I love being a mama.
If I wasn't a mommy, um...
I don't think I would be
if I wasn't a mommy, um... I don't think I would be who I am today.
Started my career with children,
with a child,
started my career with children, with a child, and I'm still in my career
with 11 kids,
after they told me,
"well, if you have a baby,
you know, you're not gonna be
able to do what you need to do.
You know, you're not gonna be able to do what you need to do. You can't travel,
and you can't such and such,
you can't travel, and you can't such and such, and blah."
I said, "okay."
my mother looked at me
in my eyes.
My mother looked at me in my eyes. She said, "baby, you can do
whatever you want to do
she said, "baby, you can do whatever you want to do with or without a baby.
Whatever you want to do with or without a baby. She said,
"what do you want to do?"
she said, "what do you want to do?" I said, "well, I think I want
to travel now."
and, "you know,
this song is on the radio, and,
like, climbing up the charts."
she said, "girl, you better put
that child in that car seat,
and take your ass,
and you get on, and get."
this is what keeps me going.
And you get on, and get." this is what keeps me going. This is what makes me who I am.
This is what keeps me going. This is what makes me who I am. The girl that people see
this is what makes me who I am. The girl that people see on the stage, this is -- that --
the girl that people see on the stage, this is -- that -- that's what makes me sing
the way that I do,
because my feelings are so,
like, wrapped up in the love
and the emotion of music,
and everything.
And the emotion of music, and everything. And my kids,
they're the same way.
They love music.
They're the same way. They love music. And...Yeah.
[ giggles ] I gets so giggly when I think about the love of my life,
zackariah.
About the love of my life, zackariah. Like, when we were little kids,
I was so in love with this dude.
Like, he was way too old for me,
but I didn't give a...
I didn't care.
But I didn't give a... I didn't care. But my parents did.
So, they made us break up.
And it sucked so bad.
And when I saw them again
and it sucked so bad. And when I saw them again when I was 18, and I said,
and when I saw them again when I was 18, and I said, "would you marry a girl
like me?"
and he looked at me,
and he was like...
And he looked at me, and he was like... I was looking at him like,
"why are you
looking at me like that?"
'cause he was like...
I was like, "oh my -- oh, my g-- oh, my god." [ laughs ]
but I jumped out of his car,
and I, like, left.
But I jumped out of his car, and I, like, left. And...
And I, like, left. And... It's so crazy because,
and... It's so crazy because, look at all these years later,
it's so crazy because, look at all these years later, and...
Look at all these years later, and... Here we are, married,
and together, and, you know,
here we are, married, and together, and, you know, we've had our moments, but...
And together, and, you know, we've had our moments, but... I can't believe --
like, we let--
like, last night we were talking
about, like, "how did we end up
back together?"
like, what are the odds of that?
Back together?" like, what are the odds of that? Your first love ever.
Like, what are the odds of that? Your first love ever. Like, he was my first love ever.
How do we end up
like, he was my first love ever. How do we end up back together again?
And...
Back together again? And... We were talking about the baby,
and... We were talking about the baby, and I was like,
we were talking about the baby, and I was like, "babe, oh, my god,
can you believe that we have,
like, biological children
together?"
like...
Together?" like... He didn't have
any other children.
He's never been married.
Any other children. He's never been married. He's barely ever had
he's never been married. He's barely ever had a girlfriend.
He was celibate for, like,
seven years.
I was like, "dude, how did you
do that?"
"how did you do that? 'cause I couldn't." but now, no, celibacy is --
celibacy is none
of his vocabulary.
Celibacy is none of his vocabulary. [ laughs ]
♪
>> so, I got to ask, because,
you know, on social media,
the fans ask me all the time,
"if there was a reboot,
would you be a part of
'r&b divas' in 2022, '23?"
>> if there was a reboot of "r&b divas" '22, '23, I will not be a part.
Of "r&b divas" '22, '23, I will not be a part. I'm sorry.
I just don't feel like I'm being
shown as the person that I am.
And, you know, I'm [indistinct],
me and my husband.
I don't have time for all
the negative bull.
I really don't.
The negative bull. I really don't. I'm already a cussing preacher
on the low.
I don't need nobody making me
no more of a cusser,
or no more of a whatever.
No more of a cusser, or no more of a whatever. And I just --
as much as I love my girls,
and I just -- as much as I love my girls, and, you know, tv one,
they've been good to me.
And, you know, tv one, they've been good to me. I'm just really not interested
in, um...
Being the crazy girl,
'cause I'm not the crazy girl.
I'm god's girl.
And that's -- period.
>> I know what kind of person that I really am. And I saw the person that
they tried to portray me to be.
I do have that little --
that little demon
that likes to tickle my shoulder
every now and then,
and make me turn into shaqueda.
Every now and then, and make me turn into shaqueda. But I'm not that person.
And make me turn into shaqueda. But I'm not that person. And...
As much as I love,
and... As much as I love, you know, everybody on there,
as much as I love, you know, everybody on there, I just feel like they tried
to make me seem like I was
a troubled child, and I'm not.
To make me seem like I was a troubled child, and I'm not. That's where I first ever felt
an anxiety attack.
Yep.
An anxiety attack. Yep. I went through anxiety so bad.
And I had bubble gut.
I had uncontrollable
and I had bubble gut. I had uncontrollable emotional moments from that show
because...
Emotional moments from that show because... That's not me all the time.
Because... That's not me all the time. Everybody has
that's not me all the time. Everybody has a top-blowing moment.
It seemed like...
A top-blowing moment. It seemed like... Every time they filmed me,
it seemed like... Every time they filmed me, they -- they would get me to
every time they filmed me, they -- they would get me to a place where somebody would
say something, or do something
that would piss me off,
and then, my --
my top would blow.
And then, my -- my top would blow. And then, now you want
to record me.
I'm so glad those days are over. And...There were good moments because...
You know, it put me back on
my platform, or whatever.
And...
My platform, or whatever. And... The good moments, the happy
and... The good moments, the happy moments, the funny moments,
the good moments, the happy moments, the funny moments, who I really am.
Moments, the funny moments, who I really am. People got to see a little bit
of that crazy, silly girl.
But..
Of that crazy, silly girl. But.. I'm glad it's over.
I hate to say it like that,
but I'm glad those days are done
because I've grown so much
since then, and...
Because I've grown so much since then, and... Un-uh.
Since then, and... Un-uh. Nobody can --
un-uh. Nobody can -- you can't kick me off my square,
nobody can -- you can't kick me off my square, honey.
You can't kick me off my square, honey. My square is my square.
Honey. My square is my square. I'm gonna stand in my square.
You can't kick me off my square.
We're not like that
you can't kick me off my square. We're not like that all the time.
Like, we're actually like
cornballs, and mothers,
like, we're actually like cornballs, and mothers, and loving wives,
and loving mothers,
and loving friends.
And loving mothers, and loving friends. And...
And loving friends. And... I don't know why
and... I don't know why tv always wants to --
certain tv, should I say --
wants to portray women --
especially african-american
women, or women of color,
or women of, you know,
any other race --
like, why do y'all
got to make us look like
we just crazy,
and like we just fight all day,
we want to bit each other's head
off, or titties off,
or whatever.
Off, or titties off, or whatever. Like, stop.
Or whatever. Like, stop. Don't do that to us.
That's -- that's not who we are.
You know?
Everybody gets pissed off
you know? Everybody gets pissed off when you put them
everybody gets pissed off when you put them in a position to be pissed off.
When you put them in a position to be pissed off. But...
In a position to be pissed off. But... We got to get better.
We got to do better.
And I vowed -- you see, I have
we got to do better. And I vowed -- you see, I have not done no tv, no nothing.
Like, I vowed to to be the best
that I can be.
[ clears throat ]
and that was not the best me.
But that was also 10 years ago,
when I was, like, 13.
>> okay, so, I went through some horrible domestic violence, and it was...
Some horrible domestic violence, and it was... So horrible.
And it was... So horrible. Domestic violence is...
♪
you know, if you've been through it, and you know what it feels like,
and it's not good.
And you know what it feels like, and it's not good. And...
And it's not good. And... You feel like someone
and... You feel like someone is stealing...
Your soul.
Is stealing... Your soul. You feel like someone's stealing
your soul. You feel like someone's stealing who you are.
You feel like someone's
trying to control
you feel like someone's trying to control your every move,
your every breath,
your every word,
your every...Look,
your every...
Your every...Look, your every... Everything.
Your every... Everything. And it's horrible.
It's not a good feeling at all.
And so, I joined the national
it's not a good feeling at all. And so, I joined the national coalition against domestic
and so, I joined the national coalition against domestic violence...
Coalition against domestic violence... Movement because...
Violence... Movement because... I don't think it's fair that
movement because... I don't think it's fair that people -- I'm not going to say
"men,"
but I don't think it's fair
that people can just, like, kind
of take control of who you are.
That people can just, like, kind of take control of who you are. It's not fair.
Of take control of who you are. It's not fair. And...
♪
I'm sorry.
When you feel like you can trust someone, and they take away your power
as a person...
And they take away your power as a person... Your power as a as a human,
your power as a woman.
It's not a good feeling.
Your power as a woman. It's not a good feeling. It's really crappy.
And...
I thank god that I was able
and... I thank god that I was able to get out of that because...
It's...
To get out of that because... It's... Not a lot of women
it's... Not a lot of women are able to get out of that.
There's so many women that don't
get out,
there's so many women that don't get out, and they lose their lives.
Get out, and they lose their lives. And one of my best friends,
her name was miranda wilson,
and one of my best friends, her name was miranda wilson, and she lost her life
to domestic violence.
And she lost her life to domestic violence. And then, I went through it
myself.
It's horrible.
Myself. It's horrible. You literally feel like
it's horrible. You literally feel like you're in jail.
You feel like you're in a...
You're in jail. You feel like you're in a... In a -- in a -- in a cell,
you feel like you're in a... In a -- in a -- in a cell, mentally and emotionally.
And it's like you can't get out.
Mentally and emotionally. And it's like you can't get out. But god gave me the strength
and it's like you can't get out. But god gave me the strength and the power and the judge--
but god gave me the strength and the power and the judge-- the judgment of a judge to say,
"get out of there.
The judgment of a judge to say, "get out of there. And if you don't
get out of there,
and if you don't get out of there, I'm gonna take your children."
and I don't play with my kids,
so I got out of there.
Like...And so many women can't. With the national coalition against domestic violence,
with the national coalition against domestic violence, what we do is, we stand for
helping mothers, and families,
and help fathers,
and their children.
And help fathers, and their children. You know, sometimes women...
And their children. You know, sometimes women... [ mumbles ]
you know, sometimes women... [ mumbles ] people need help.
And so, like, we --
that's what we specialize in.
Like, you can get out of there.
That's what we specialize in. Like, you can get out of there. Just get out of the --
like, you can get out of there. Just get out of the -- find help,
just get out of the -- find help, find the right person.
Find help, find the right person. Find whoever you feel
is gonna be able to help you,
find whoever you feel is gonna be able to help you, and not give -- give you away
to the situation.
And not give -- give you away to the situation. You know, get out of there.
To the situation. You know, get out of there. You can get out of there
you know, get out of there. You can get out of there with children.
They have special, um...
With children. They have special, um... Places for mothers
they have special, um... Places for mothers and their children,
places for mothers and their children, and fathers and their children
in these situations.
And fathers and their children in these situations. And then, even in
same-sex marriages, you know,
and then, even in same-sex marriages, you know, people are being abused,
you know,
and they have -- they --
they have places for you to go.
And they have -- they -- they have places for you to go. Okay, so, my support about
the lgbtq+ community,
okay, so, my support about the lgbtq+ community, I feel like...
The lgbtq+ community, I feel like... Everybody is a person,
and you live your life
everybody is a person, and you live your life how you feel.
And you live your life how you feel. Like, you should live your life.
How you feel. Like, you should live your life. And I'm no judge.
I'm no god.
I have no heaven,
I have no hell,
to put anybody in.
And I think that
who is born...
Not liking what they like?
Who is born... Not liking what they like? Period.
You're born to like what you
period. You're born to like what you like, and it is what it is.
And at the end of the day,
people are people.
And I just --
I just love you for who you are,
and I just -- I just love you for who you are, not for what you have,
or what you don't have,
or who you aren't.
Or what you don't have, or who you aren't. I just --
I love you just the way
that god made you.
Understand that that person
is someone's son,
understand that that person is someone's son, or someone's daughter,
someone's friend,
someone's sister,
someone's brother,
someone's cousin.
Someone's brother, someone's cousin. Don't -- don't -- don't do that.
Someone's cousin. Don't -- don't -- don't do that. Love them because
don't -- don't -- don't do that. Love them because they're beautiful, and they're
love them because they're beautiful, and they're wonderfully made by god.
They're beautiful, and they're wonderfully made by god. And he created them just the way
that they have been created.
What's in my future
is so much stuff.
I have music coming.
Is so much stuff. I have music coming. I have...
A lot of stuff
I can't talk about
a lot of stuff I can't talk about 'cause I'm under contract.
Sorry.
I always have advice,
sorry. I always have advice, and I always have encouragement
for my fans, especially ones
that are aspiring to be artists,
and singers, and actors,
and all that.
And singers, and actors, and all that. I will say this first --
anybody who is aspiring to be
an artist, or fam-- whatever.
Anybody who is aspiring to be an artist, or fam-- whatever. I wasn't trying to do all that,
but once I got in it, I said,
"okay, I'm here now,
so I might as well do it."
but if you do want to do it,
and you have children,
or you may be pregnant,
or whatever,
if it's for you, it's for you,
and you will have it.
If it's for you, it's for you, and you will have it. And don't worry about
what people say.
If it's not for you,
it won't be for you.
You'll be singing and chasing a
dream for the rest of your life.
If it's for you, it will happen.
Dream for the rest of your life. If it's for you, it will happen. It will fall in your lap.
You don't have to chase it.
Do not chase after something.
If it's for you,
it will chase after you.
And I'll just say
that much.
Period.
'cause it's real.
'cause I didn't have to
chase that [bleep].
Everything came to me.
I don't understand people that,
like, chase after stuff.
I'm like, "why are you
chasing that?"
like, if it's for you
it will come for you.
You don't got to chase nothing.
You don't.