1 00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:12,745 All: [chanting] down with porn! 2 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,748 Down with porn! Down with porn! 3 00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,550 Down with porn! - Keep our kids safe! 4 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,286 Porn is bad! We hate porn! 5 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:24,289 All: Down with porn! - Porn is bad! 6 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,758 - It's a real shame. 7 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,359 Being exposed to smut as a child 8 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,227 Is what made me the man I am today. 9 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,495 - Why are we even here? 10 00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:31,696 - We're required to be on hand 11 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,298 For any protests that involve burning. 12 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,566 All: Down with porn! 13 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,900 - Hey, you know there's porn 14 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,970 On your phones and laptops, too, right? 15 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,773 [chanting stops] 16 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,309 - Burn the porn! All: Down with porn! 17 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,710 - We hate porn! - Down with porn! 18 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,313 - Unreal. There's always that one dumb guy 19 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,581 In every group, huh? 20 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,516 - Porn is bad! All: Down with porn! 21 00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,251 - Why won't this light? 22 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:54,452 It's satan! 23 00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,587 - Look at 'em, amateurs. 24 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,255 They didn't even bring lighter fluid. 25 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,057 - Yeah, well, in their defense, they're probably used 26 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,526 To burning schoolbooks, which go up a lot easier. 27 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,728 - I bet an m-80 will get this party started! 28 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,130 - What is he doing? All: Down with porn! 29 00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,733 - Hey, you're not permitted for explosives! 30 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,036 - Sir, sir, sir! - Hey, hey! 31 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:13,806 All: Oh! 32 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,476 [rock music] 33 00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,545 [children shouting] 34 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,614 ♪ ♪ 35 00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:26,751 - Yes, tits! - Yeah! 36 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,555 - All right, dick! - Yeah! 37 00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,557 - Well, if that's not a sign from god, 38 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,158 I don't know what is. 39 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,560 - Amen. - Amen. 40 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,297 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,099 - Fuck me. [all gasp] 42 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,567 - What? 43 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,570 [foreigner's "hot blooded"] 44 00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:51,376 ♪ ♪ 45 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,112 - ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 46 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,648 ♪ check it and see ♪ 47 00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,318 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 48 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,788 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 49 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,924 - Then he's like, "I'm so broke, 50 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,861 I can't even pay attention." [laughter] 51 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,595 Yes, I knew that joke, man. 52 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,130 - Hey, mr. Shabby shoes, what's going on 53 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,465 With the sole of those boots? 54 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,733 - Oh, the bottom's coming loose, 55 00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,201 But I got some glue in my locker. 56 00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,670 - Station doesn't pay for new boots? 57 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,404 - We're supposed to get a boot allowance, 58 00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,672 But chief can be a bit stingy. 59 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,140 [grunts goofily] money. 60 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,076 - What happens to granny if he loses his sole? 61 00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:27,079 Does he start listening to kenny g? 62 00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,748 - What the fuck did you just say to me? 63 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:30,883 - It was just a joke. I-- 64 00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,017 - Cap, permission to kick his ass. 65 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,554 - Okay, kick his ass. - Cap, no. 66 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,689 [rock music] 67 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,692 - You know, I actually really liked your joke, 68 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,960 But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take your boots. 69 00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,962 [chuckles] 70 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:47,165 But they don't fit because you're a tiny-boot bitch. 71 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,567 [laughter] - come on. 72 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,034 - I'm messing with you, man. 73 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,636 - He loves you, mickleberry. He does. 74 00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,571 - Morning! - Hey, chiefy! 75 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,106 - Chief! - Hey, listen... 76 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,308 Weather forecast is calling for a hell of a storm. 77 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,843 Could be severe flooding, so I decided 78 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,313 To hold the d shift over for double the personnel. 79 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,848 - Ah, double crews-- that doesn't happen every day. 80 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,718 It's gonna get cozy. - Do we like the d shift? 81 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,587 - What's not to like? They're exactly like you guys. 82 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,522 [laughs] have fun. - Always do. 83 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,257 - Yeah. - Do they look like us? 84 00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,793 - Nah, it's like a second-generation copy kind of. 85 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,528 - Yeah, like a poor man's version-- 86 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,530 Not rock star material like us. - Yeah. 87 00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,265 - That's why we're the a shift, right? 88 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,533 - I thought the letters were random. 89 00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,401 - Technically, yes. 90 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,670 But it's widely understood that we're the chief's top crew, 91 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,072 So count yourself lucky. 92 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,140 - Let's put it this way-- 93 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,874 If there was a tv show about station 24, 94 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,743 We'd be the shift they'd focus on. 95 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,077 - [snaps fingers] - bing. 96 00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,613 - Dibs on sexy dumb comic relief. 97 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,215 - Ah, man! All right, token woman. 98 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,550 - Ambiguous african. 99 00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,952 - Italian guy with sweet hair. 100 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,820 Come on, let's work. - Right. 101 00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:43,622 - Wait, guys, what would I be? 102 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,358 [indistinct chatter] 103 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,627 [chatter stops] 104 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,630 [tense music] 105 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:58,804 ♪ ♪ 106 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,577 - Hey! All: Hey! 107 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,713 - Aw, man, teddy dickosi. 108 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,182 That coif is looking pretty slick. 109 00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:13,185 What's your secret? - Confidentially, margarine. 110 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,653 - [laughs] I knew it. 111 00:04:14,789 --> 00:04:16,388 I can't believe it's not butter! 112 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,589 - I believe it. 113 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:21,326 [both laugh] 114 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,061 - Mm-hmm. Mm. 115 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:26,799 - Cousin terry! Ha ha! What's up? 116 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,333 - Cousin lucy. 117 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,802 Finally, we're on the same shift. 118 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,403 You know, it's too bad it wasn't last week. 119 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,271 You could've joined me and your dad for lunch. 120 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,008 We go out for mexican food first Tuesday of every month. 121 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,209 - Really? 122 00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:40,212 - We call it the two-terry taco Tuesday. 123 00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,880 [laughs] 124 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,482 What kind of special lunches do you do with your dad? 125 00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,818 - Oh, man, um... 126 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,220 He let me finish his meatball sub the other day. 127 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,955 - Oh, yeah, that sounds fun. 128 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,624 - It was a huge sub. 129 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,827 It was a submarine sandwich. - Yeah. 130 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,962 It's like a taco, but with bread. 131 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,366 - Probie, this is the d shift's medic, mcintosh jones. 132 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,767 - What up, granny smith? 133 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,569 - What up? [both laugh] 134 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,705 - Hey, call me gram gram. 135 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,973 - Both apple names, both grandma names? 136 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,309 - Welcome to the metaverse! 137 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,578 [both laughing] 138 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:19,518 ♪ ♪ 139 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,186 - What's the matter, ike? 140 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,655 Cia got you pushing too many pencils? 141 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,858 - [laughs] 142 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,926 I wasn't really trying. 143 00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:30,128 - Ah, sure you weren't, sure you weren't. 144 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,930 - I did arms this morning. That's why I'm just, like-- 145 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,533 - Ah, yes, excuses, excuses. 146 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,402 - You're looking good, brother. - Thank you, thank you. 147 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,871 - Ah, man, what are you benching these days about? 148 00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,473 - 300 pounds, but if that's too heavy, 149 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,007 You switch it to metric. 150 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,544 136 kilograms is much easier to lift. 151 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,545 - Ahh. - Obviously. 152 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,346 - Of course it is, obviously. 153 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,882 It's a lesser number. 154 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,150 Oh, man, why didn't I think of that? 155 00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,018 ♪ ♪ 156 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,353 - You must be the d-shift probie. 157 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,756 I'm andres mickleberry, the a-shift probie. 158 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,024 - Oh, hey, I'm andrea snorkleberry. 159 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,160 - For real? Mickleberry, snorkleberry? 160 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,828 - Yeah, dude! - When did you start? 161 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,163 - Four weeks ago. What about you? 162 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,965 - Three weeks. - Perfect. 163 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:09,501 Oh, my god. I have one week of seniority. 164 00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,437 Could you be a good kid and finish cleaning the sink? 165 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,838 Thank you so much. 166 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,441 You got this. 167 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,712 ♪ ♪ 168 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,114 - Colosplash. 169 00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,782 - Hey, chiefy. - Yeah. 170 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,917 - Listen, I'm guessing there's gonna be 171 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,251 A bit of a pissing match tonight 172 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,920 When it comes time to pick bunks. 173 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,388 - Why don't you share your bunk with your twin? 174 00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,390 - I will, and he'll love it, and I'll love it, 175 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,391 But I'm guessing the others might have a problem with it. 176 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,194 - Ah, you'll figure it out. Hey, you ever poop in a box? 177 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,396 - Not since April fools' day. - Good one. 178 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,265 Yeah, you know, my doctor told me that in lieu 179 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,267 Of my annual colonoscopy, I could use 180 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,271 This colosplash at-home colon-cancer-screening kit. 181 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,606 - What, they expect you to crap in that box, 182 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,207 And then what do you do with it? 183 00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:51,343 - You mail it to them. Look at this. It's tupperware. 184 00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:52,677 - What? - Yeah. 185 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,479 Specimen bag, "biohazard." 186 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,880 [chuckles] good for me. 187 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,482 - Get out. What kind of a world do we live in 188 00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,484 Where a grown man has to drop a crud in a box 189 00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,419 Like a common housecat and then mail it? 190 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,021 - I guess it beats a colonoscopy. 191 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,957 - Nah, nah, nothing beats a colonoscopy. 192 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,425 They give you sweet drugs, you pass out, 193 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,361 The camera might even poke you in the tingle button, 194 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,630 And when you wake up, they give you a cookie. 195 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,965 - I was not told of a cookie. 196 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,433 - They give you any cookie you want. 197 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,634 - Snickerdoodle? - Yeah. 198 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,701 - Chocolate chip? - Yeah. 199 00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:17,770 - Oatmeal? - Yeah. 200 00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:18,971 - Huh. - Hey, chief. 201 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,505 - Hey. - About the bunks tonight-- 202 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,775 - Share with eddie. - You're gonna love it. 203 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,177 - Huh, yeah, I will. Not as much as you. 204 00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,312 - [laughs] - you like to spoon? 205 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,314 - I like to spork. [laughter] 206 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,517 - "do not fill the collection bucket above the fill line." 207 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,987 Uh-oh. [chuckles] I guess that counts me out. 208 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,855 - Oh, chief, you're doing the colosplash kit? 209 00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:38,857 - Yeah. - Oh, smooth move, I did it. 210 00:07:38,993 --> 00:07:41,460 Yeah, by the way, I made brownies. 211 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,861 They're on the stove. 212 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,596 Those two statements were not connected. 213 00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,998 [laughter] 214 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,266 - Teddy, you're my guy! 215 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,134 - Wait, wait, wait, because he pooped in a box, too, 216 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,403 Suddenly he's your guy? 217 00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,405 - No, he's my guy 'cause he made me brownies. 218 00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:58,010 Now, if you'll excuse me, teddy--oops, I mean, eddie-- 219 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,545 Time to make the doughnuts. - Ugh. 220 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,746 - Colosplash! 221 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,482 [thunder rumbles] 222 00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,218 - Terry's nephew is also named terry? 223 00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,021 - Dad bullied my aunt jasmine into naming her son terry, 224 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,755 So he'd have a male namesake. 225 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:14,226 - Wow, sounds like something in his life is missing, huh? 226 00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,161 - Hey, look at this. See the green? 227 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,562 That's just the light stuff, right? 228 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,297 Here comes the big stuff. Here it is. 229 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,899 Given the trajectory of it, 230 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:22,567 I'd say it's gonna hit tacoma about 3:00 p.M. 231 00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,703 - You know, you should be a weatherman, uncle terry. 232 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,171 I mean, chief. 233 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,440 - Hey, let's forget about the formality, terry. 234 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,308 Call me uncle terry. - [laughs] okay. 235 00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:31,776 - Check out this, check out this. 236 00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,178 I got a little bit here, right? 237 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,713 [goofy voice] so the polar vortex 238 00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:36,581 Combined with a low-pressure system 239 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,051 Is gonna create a mega precipitation event 240 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,119 In the lower regions of tacoma. 241 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,523 - I love this weatherman bit, uncle! 242 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,191 [both laugh] 243 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,726 - [normal voice] that's good. That's good, all right. 244 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,194 [goofy voice] now let me throw it 245 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,663 Over to champ trophy at sports. 246 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,398 - [goofy voice] well, champ trophy here, dusty winds! 247 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,933 - [normal voice] dusty winds, I love it! 248 00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:57,602 - My, oh, my, the mariners had a big night! 249 00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,404 - [goofy voice] the mariners really rained 250 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,339 On the angels' parade last night. 251 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,141 - Well, it was a good thing it was raining 252 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,544 'cause the mariners' bats were on fire! 253 00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,612 They were as hot as some of the buildings 254 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,147 We have to go into sometimes! 255 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,149 [both laugh] - [normal voice] yeah. 256 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,485 We probably shouldn't joke about that, though. 257 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,754 - [laughter] 258 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:16,955 - You okay? 259 00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:18,423 You look like you've seen a ghost. 260 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:23,027 - Oh, my god, my dad's doing a bit. 261 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,162 - What? 262 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,764 He doesn't do bits. - I know! 263 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:28,032 - Although come to think of it, he was getting very chummy 264 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,568 With teddy dickosi a bit earlier. 265 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,236 - He was? - Super chummy. 266 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,971 - Maybe d shift is his favorite crew. 267 00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:35,039 - Shut up! What is wrong with you? 268 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,775 - That's stupid. Toilet duty. 269 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,110 - Guys. 270 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,978 [whispering] you got to see this. Come here. 271 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,313 [mouths words] - [sighs] 272 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,781 [laughter] 273 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,383 [upbeat music playing] 274 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,519 [cheering] 275 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,053 ♪ ♪ 276 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,323 - Yeah, right? Right, come on. 277 00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,057 Hey. - [whispering] what? 278 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,927 Terry didn't even dance at his own wedding. 279 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,596 In fact, he specifically asked for no music. 280 00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,131 - And playing the maracas? 281 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,933 I've never seen him play the maracas in my life. 282 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,667 - Hey, guys, you know what? 283 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,937 Since yesterday's incident reports were so well written-- 284 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,605 No typos, no passive verbs-- 285 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,074 I'm gonna give each of you an extra 100 bucks 286 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,143 For you boot allowance! 287 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,145 Enjoy! [all cheering] 288 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,079 - He's upping their boot allowance. 289 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:16,881 And I got the busted boot! 290 00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,084 - ♪ da, da, da, da, da, oh ♪ 291 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,953 ♪ da, da, da, da, da, hey ♪ 292 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:24,489 - Oh, my god, the d shift is his favorite crew. 293 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,492 [dramatic music] 294 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,428 ♪ ♪ 295 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,266 [upbeat rock music] 296 00:10:34,268 --> 00:10:38,203 - Huh, okay, colosplash, time to get to know each other. 297 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:43,208 [chuckles] oh, another thing in a thing, okay. 298 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,411 Oh, there's another thing in there. 299 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,415 And yet another container. 300 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,750 It's like a russian doll for dumps. 301 00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,418 [pounding on door] 302 00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,753 Oh, come on. 303 00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,888 [pounding on door] ocupado, bro! 304 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,957 - Terry, who's your favorite shift? 305 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,758 - Why are you bothering me with this now? 306 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,560 How do you know I'm not in the middle of a bowel movement? 307 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,830 - 'cause when you're in the middle of a bowel movement, 308 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,698 The walls tremble all over the station. 309 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,567 - [scoffs] ah, gross. [pounding on door] 310 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,102 - Hey, dad? 311 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,238 Who do you like better, a shift or d shift? 312 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,906 - Are you kidding me? You're here, too? 313 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,775 - Which shift do you like better? 314 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,844 Dad! - That's a ridiculous question. 315 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,578 I like all the shifts equally. 316 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,914 [pounding on door] - terry! 317 00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:26,118 Eddie, again, if you had to save one shift 318 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,121 From a burning building, which shift would it be? 319 00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,589 - I wouldn't have to save any of you from a burning building. 320 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,992 You're all firefighters. - [grunts] 321 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,862 [pounding on door] - but hypothetically speaking? 322 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,997 - Both of you know I don't engage in hypotheticals! 323 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,799 - Okay, but if you had to engage in hypotheticals 324 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:45,603 With just one shift, which shift would it be? 325 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,172 - Uh... 326 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,745 - Terry, we know you're in there. 327 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,613 - Would you two leave me the hell alone 328 00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,216 And give me some privacy? - Fine. 329 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,552 - That was not the validation I was looking for. 330 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,887 - No, it sucked. 331 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,955 We need to make sure that chief sees us 332 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,491 As the superior shift. 333 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,026 - Yes. - Let's go. 334 00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:11,229 [upbeat rock music] 335 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:18,170 ♪ ♪ 336 00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,309 - Come on, get your game on. 337 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,113 - Eddie, what do you want? 338 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,115 I'm trying to dry off my colosplash. 339 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,584 - Well, chief, I just wanted to show you what a crack team 340 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,252 You have here in the a shift. 341 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,453 - Chief, do you see how much cleaner 342 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,788 Our side of the truck is? 343 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,724 [chuckles] man, you could eat off this baby. 344 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:39,925 - Why would I eat off a truck? 345 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,927 - Huh? No, no, you wouldn't. 346 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,130 I mean, no, but, hypothetically-- 347 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,932 - What's with everyone and the hypotheticals? 348 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,201 - Chief doesn't engage in hypotheticals, ike. 349 00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,136 Even I knew that, you dimwit. 350 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,605 - Thank you, dex. - Yeah. [stammers] 351 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,073 That's what I said, dimwit. 352 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,742 - You're the dimwit. - You're a dimwit. 353 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,210 - You're the dimwit. - You're a dimwit. 354 00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,545 - Yeah. - What'd you say? 355 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,547 - Nothing. I-- - huh? 356 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,148 - [snapping fingers] 357 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,150 - [grunting] 358 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,819 - Hey, check out these sandbags, huh, chiefy? 359 00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,355 We are gonna kick the rain's ass today, huh? 360 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,358 - Funny, you guys make sandbags at the exact same pace. 361 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,760 - Well, I don't know about that. 362 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:15,894 - Keep it up. 363 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,162 I'm gonna go make a splash. 364 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,032 [chuckles] oh, boy. Oh, boy. 365 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,433 - Hey. 366 00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:24,302 Why you guys trying to show us up in front of the chief? 367 00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:26,304 - Ha! Show you up-- that's a good one. 368 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,241 Why would a shift care what chief thinks about d shift? 369 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,043 - Because we're his favorite shift. 370 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,644 - That's ridiculous. 371 00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:35,047 We're the a shift. - A. 372 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,915 - The letters don't mean anything, guy. 373 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,984 They just exist to identify the different shifts 374 00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,718 On the rotation schedule. 375 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,789 But I guess only a first-rate captain would know that. 376 00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,190 - Oh, yeah? 377 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,392 You don't cobra me, dickosi. I cobra you. 378 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,795 - Well, maybe I could convince uncle terry 379 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,663 To rethink this whole letter system 380 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:55,200 To more accurately reflect that we're his favorite shift. 381 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,270 After all, I'm like the son he never had. 382 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,872 - Not after I rip your fucking dick off. 383 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:04,810 [all ohing] 384 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,612 - Get back! - It's okay, it's okay. 385 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,080 - All right, let's just settle down with the dick ripping. 386 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,416 Listen, sorry to break it to you, 387 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,085 But my crew--we just got that something special. 388 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,088 In fact, if they were to make a show about station 24, 389 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,756 We'd be the stars. 390 00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,827 - Maybe on basic cable. - On a network nobody watches. 391 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,362 - Guys, this is ridiculous. 392 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,831 We're supposed to be professional. 393 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,099 You don't see me and snorkleberry 394 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,366 At each other's throats. 395 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,835 - Who the hell is snorkleberry? 396 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,437 - That's snorkleberry. 397 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,971 - My name is not 398 00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,441 Andrea snorkleberry, you dingbat. 399 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,176 I was just making fun of your stupid name. 400 00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,047 My name is isabella corazon. 401 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,650 - Good one, corzy. - Sick burn, probie! 402 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,652 - That's a beautiful name. 403 00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,655 And you all suck! - You suck! 404 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,922 - You suck! - You suck! 405 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,590 - You suck. - You suck. 406 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:56,061 - You're gonna rip my dick off? [all shouting] 407 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,396 - Hey, hey, hey, hey! What's going on in here? 408 00:14:58,532 --> 00:15:00,532 Last time I was here, you were nicely making sandbags. 409 00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:03,401 - Chief, uh, is that box currently filled? 410 00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:06,138 - Yeah, finally. - Man, that was really fast. 411 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,674 - I had to hustle back in here 'cause of you and you 412 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,543 And you all squabbling about who's my favorite shift. 413 00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:12,811 Both: Which is? 414 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,412 - I don't have a favorite shift. 415 00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,149 They're all the same. A, b, c, d, it's meaningless. 416 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,484 - Well, if it wasn't meaningless, 417 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,951 Which shift would you choose to be a? 418 00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,687 - Okay, that's it. 419 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,088 No more a, b, c, d. 420 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,622 I'm putting an end to the stupid system. 421 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,892 From now on, it's red shift, green shift, 422 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,626 Blue shift, gold shift. 423 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,029 That'll put an end to your childish bickering. 424 00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:32,964 ♪ ♪ 425 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,300 [groaning] 426 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,435 Oh, stupid box. 427 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,104 - We're gold shift. - No, we're gold shift. 428 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,772 - We're the gold shift. I call dibs on the gold shift. 429 00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:44,242 - Okay, okay, okay, hold on! Hold on, hold on a second. 430 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,912 As the captain of today's shift-- 431 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,246 - It's still our shift. 432 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:50,648 - I propose a head-to-head competition 433 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,852 To determine who is the top shift of this station. 434 00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:55,253 - You're going down. 435 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,189 - May the best shift win. 436 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,724 - Mm. - Come on. 437 00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:00,658 - I'm right here. - Come on. 438 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,528 - I'm gonna be over here. - You're a douchebag. 439 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,129 - All right, yeah. - It's on. 440 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:07,399 - Disappear. - It's on, man. 441 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,401 - I'm watching you. - All right. 442 00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,136 - Whoa, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 443 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,604 - I'm all right. I'm all right. 444 00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,540 - Hey, let's get back to work. - Get back. 445 00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:20,612 [all grunting] 446 00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:23,615 [rock music] 447 00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:30,889 ♪ ♪ 448 00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,568 - What's going on? We've been going at this for 20 minutes, 449 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,969 And nobody's moved an inch. 450 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,171 - Maybe both shifts are equal in every way. 451 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,974 - Psst, hey, guys, we should try the "squid game" strategy, 452 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,909 Where the whole team moves forward three steps 453 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,310 And the other team falls. 454 00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,780 - Spoiler alert-- I'm only on episode three. 455 00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,448 - Oh, is that the one with the cookies? 456 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,849 - Oh, come on! 457 00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,918 - And they took three steps forward 458 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,654 And caused the entire other team to fall down. 459 00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:05,523 - Hey, spoiler alert-- I haven't seen season one. 460 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,460 - It's really, really good, a must-watch. 461 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,861 - Okay, let's do this. 462 00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:14,532 Ready? One, two, three. 463 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,469 [all yelling] 464 00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:22,340 - Did you guys "squid game" us? 465 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,542 - Yeah. - Has everybody seen it? 466 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,345 - Fine, if a test of brawn won't settle this, 467 00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,815 Then let's pivot to a test of brains. 468 00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,150 - Damn it. - Damn. 469 00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,085 - If you're so close to the chief, 470 00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,087 Let's see who knows him best. 471 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,890 [upbeat music] 472 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,892 - Guys, come on, it's my lunch break here. 473 00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:42,560 I just stopped by to drop off terry's statins. 474 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,763 I'm not doing this. - Pretty please, aunt vicky. 475 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,498 - Please, come on. - Come on. 476 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,967 - You're the best judge for this, mom, please. 477 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,568 - Okay. - Yes! 478 00:17:50,704 --> 00:17:52,971 [cheering] 479 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,640 - Yes, vicky. - Come on, granny. 480 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,575 - All right, all right, let's get this split up here. 481 00:17:57,711 --> 00:17:59,511 - Let's go, granny. - Come on, granny. 482 00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:00,979 Come on, granny. 483 00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:06,652 - Okay, who is terry mcconky's sex-ception? 484 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,455 Both: Lucy lawless xena, warrior princess! 485 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,922 - Yeah! - Yes! 486 00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,658 - He tells you these things? 487 00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,059 - Go get 'em, ike. Go get 'em, ike. 488 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,461 - Oh, yeah, it's me. - Next, here we go. 489 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,129 - Come on. - Oh, yeah, here we go. 490 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,930 - Yeah. [chuckles] 491 00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,067 - How old is terry in dog years? 492 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,935 - Dogs age faster that humans. - If we know that terry... 493 00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,671 - But the average dog runs... - Hates dogs, we can assume... 494 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,272 - Twice as fast as the... - It's because dogs live... 495 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,007 - Average human... - Longer than terry... 496 00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,542 - At least in my experience... - Although, not as long... 497 00:18:30,678 --> 00:18:32,077 - Okay, okay. I just have an hour for lunch, 498 00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,412 So could we just call this a push? 499 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:38,083 Both: Seven. - Wow, that is correct. 500 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,885 Ish? Both: Yes! 501 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,887 - Take that! - Yes! 502 00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:43,221 - Yes! - Yes! 503 00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:44,490 - Really shocking. - That was awesome. 504 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,024 - Here we go. - Come on, cap. 505 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,559 - All right, here we go. - Here we go, cap. 506 00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,761 - What is number one on terry's bucket list? 507 00:18:49,897 --> 00:18:51,697 Both: Front-row seat, criss angel's "mindfreak." 508 00:18:51,832 --> 00:18:53,565 - Sadly, I know that to be true, 509 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,501 And that is a tie, okay? 510 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,102 - Whoo! - Yeah! 511 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,371 - All right, all right. - That's our captain! 512 00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:03,042 - This is the last question that I am reading. 513 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,913 - What is terry's favorite naptime snack? 514 00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:09,314 - Tea and pretzels. 515 00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:13,451 - We won! We won! - But what kind exactly? 516 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,120 - What? 517 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,855 - Country bumpkin brand sweet tea 518 00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:19,257 And flugelsohn brother pretzel rods, extra-salted! 519 00:19:19,393 --> 00:19:20,992 But I guess you would have known that 520 00:19:21,128 --> 00:19:22,460 If you were the son he never had. 521 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,530 All: Oh! Both: He said it first. 522 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,065 - She got more specific. She got more specific. 523 00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:30,668 - Whoa, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey! 524 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,470 Sorry to break up the fun here, guys, 525 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,739 But the storm moved up the coast-- 526 00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:34,806 Danger averted. 527 00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,274 D shift, you can go home. 528 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,610 - But, chief, we're just about to win the gold. 529 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,078 All: Yeah. - What do you mean? 530 00:19:40,214 --> 00:19:41,146 Dickosi, you guys are dismissed, go. 531 00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,548 Go, go, go. - [sighs] 532 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,082 - No, cap, we worked for the gold. 533 00:19:44,218 --> 00:19:45,351 - I said-- - hey. 534 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,952 What are you doing with these clowns? 535 00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:48,086 - Can I just give you your statins 536 00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,355 And go back to work, please? 537 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,156 - What's "the in-terry-gation"? - Uh-uh. 538 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,225 - What is this? What are you guys doing? 539 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,160 - [sighs] - where you going? 540 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,696 - Captain, captain. You were never gonna win. 541 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,767 None of us were. We're too evenly matched. 542 00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:04,836 There's no gold shift designation for either squad. 543 00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:09,507 The only gold is the shining glow we feel in our hearts, 544 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:14,246 That 24-karat pride we feel as firefighters 545 00:20:14,248 --> 00:20:17,983 Doing the best we can do for our community 546 00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,317 And our chief. 547 00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:21,987 - Amen, brother. [chuckles] amen. 548 00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:24,390 - You know, I couldn't have said it better myself, penisi. 549 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:28,059 Although I could have said it equally as well. 550 00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,595 [laughter] 551 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,863 - Son of a bitch. 552 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:34,332 - Cobra. - Oh! 553 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,202 [laughter] - oh, he got you. 554 00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:40,205 - Okay, all right, all right. - Truce? 555 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,274 - You work it out with dickosi? 556 00:20:42,276 --> 00:20:43,609 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we talked about it, 557 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,343 And we came to the agreement that the a team 558 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,678 Will now be known as the gold shift 559 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,346 And, also, you like us the best. 560 00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,015 - Good man, but you know 561 00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:52,017 Who I actually like best in this room? 562 00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:54,286 My one and only best gal. There she is. 563 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,289 - Aw, thank you. - Mwah. 564 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,491 And, honey, while I got you... - Yes. Mm-hmm? 565 00:20:59,493 --> 00:21:01,092 - Could you take this to the post office 566 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,761 On your way back to work? - Hell, no. 567 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,031 I'm not walking into the post office carrying that. 568 00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:07,633 - It's shit. - Although, you know, 569 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,035 I know someone who would carry it for you. 570 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,569 - Hmm? - Lucy lawless. 571 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,038 I bet she'd carry your poop. 572 00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,240 - Hmm. Hmm. - [gasps] 573 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,574 - Bye, honey. 574 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,043 Who told her about lucy lawless? 575 00:21:18,178 --> 00:21:20,111 - Granny told her. - Gram gram, you mean. 576 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,246 - It was gram gram. Gram gram told her. 577 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:22,848 - All right, well, you know what? 578 00:21:22,983 --> 00:21:27,052 Congratulations, mickleberry. You get the honors. 579 00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:28,520 - Oh! 580 00:21:28,656 --> 00:21:30,856 Holy crap, that's surprisingly heavy. 581 00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:33,124 - Taco Tuesday! [chuckles] 582 00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,393 All right, back to work, gold shift. 583 00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:37,329 - All right, that's right, gold shift. 584 00:21:37,465 --> 00:21:39,397 Sounds good. Let's go to work. 585 00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,367 - Ah, I need to take my statins. 586 00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:47,205 [upbeat rock music] 587 00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:48,806 - Chief, I know we worked it all out, 588 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,542 But I got to say, there's still some things 589 00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:52,878 We saw you do with the d shift that you never do with us. 590 00:21:53,013 --> 00:21:54,813 - Yeah, like the bits, the dancing, 591 00:21:54,948 --> 00:21:56,682 The boot allowance. - What are you talking about? 592 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,017 I do that stuff with all you guys. 593 00:21:59,019 --> 00:22:00,818 - That is not true. - Yes, it is true. 594 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,354 Ike, remember last week, you and I did 595 00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,222 The used-car salesman bit? 596 00:22:04,358 --> 00:22:06,224 - Oh, yeah. No, we did do that bit. 597 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,893 That's right. 598 00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,228 What's it gonna take to get you to drive away in this today? 599 00:22:10,364 --> 00:22:12,364 - You'd look pretty good in a toyota corolla, sir. 600 00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,500 - You don't like the color? We can paint it. 601 00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,102 - This car ain't gonna drive itself. 602 00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,037 - With the thing in the front. 603 00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:21,573 - And you, you and I danced the salsa. 604 00:22:21,575 --> 00:22:23,308 - First of all, it's sal-sa. 605 00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,177 - That's what I said, salsa. - It's sal-sa. 606 00:22:25,312 --> 00:22:26,712 - Also, last month, I told you, 607 00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:28,514 Your crew could increase their boot allowance. 608 00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,849 Both: What? - Oh, yeah, you're right. 609 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:32,718 You did. I forgot to tell you guys. 610 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:34,853 Ha ha! This whole thing could have been avoided. 611 00:22:34,988 --> 00:22:36,188 What are you gonna do? 612 00:22:36,323 --> 00:22:37,789 - You guys are just like my real daughters. 613 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,657 Each one thinks I treat the other one better. 614 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,527 That's the way kids are. - She is your real daughter. 615 00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,661 - You're not! - You are softer on my sisters. 616 00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:46,198 - See, this is what I'm talking about--look at this. 617 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,599 - Hey, mickleberry. - Mickleberry! 618 00:22:47,601 --> 00:22:49,401 I told you to mail that days ago. 619 00:22:49,403 --> 00:22:51,069 - I did, sir. 620 00:22:51,071 --> 00:22:53,205 It says "return to sender-- insufficient postage." 621 00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,806 It must have been too heavy. - [laughs] 622 00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:57,342 - Mama always said I could fill up the diaper. 623 00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,877 - [gags] - hey, screw it. 624 00:22:58,879 --> 00:23:00,278 I'm gonna go in for a colonoscopy. 625 00:23:00,414 --> 00:23:01,813 - You should. 626 00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:03,415 - What do you want me to do with this, sir? 627 00:23:03,551 --> 00:23:04,950 - Ugh. - You know what? 628 00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,485 We should stash it in the wall like a time capsule 629 00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:08,820 And wait for a future crew to find it. 630 00:23:08,956 --> 00:23:11,289 - [laughs] we should leave it for the d shift. 631 00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:12,858 - Oh, I know what to do. 632 00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:16,828 - Oh, oh, now we're talking. - What are you up to? 633 00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:18,496 - What are you doing? 634 00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:20,232 - Uh-oh. - What? 635 00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,834 - You're gonna put it in their fridge, aren't you? 636 00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:26,304 - Reverse psychology. [laughter] 637 00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:29,040 - They'll definitely eat it. 638 00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:33,512 I've fallen for that one. [laughter continues] 639 00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:37,715 We've had a lot of fun here today. 640 00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:40,118 But colorectal health is no joke. 641 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,519 Right, guys? 642 00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:43,255 - Wait. - What? 643 00:23:43,257 --> 00:23:44,390 - What are we doing? 644 00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:46,458 - Exactly-- we all should be asking, 645 00:23:46,594 --> 00:23:48,726 "what are we doing to prevent colon cancer?" 646 00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:52,931 Screening is an easy way to avoid serious health risks. 647 00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:55,267 - If you're age 50 or over, ask your doctor 648 00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,402 About which test is best for you. 649 00:23:57,537 --> 00:23:58,870 And who knows? 650 00:23:59,006 --> 00:24:02,274 Maybe your doctor will even poke your tingle button. 651 00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,609 - So go get screened. 652 00:24:03,744 --> 00:24:08,880 An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. 653 00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:11,016 - Okay, what is-- 654 00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:12,884 - Oh. - What is happening? 655 00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,687 I feel like I'm having a stroke.