1
00:00:11,411 --> 00:00:12,745
All: [chanting]
down with porn!
2
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,748
Down with porn!
Down with porn!
3
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,550
Down with porn!
- Keep our kids safe!
4
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,286
Porn is bad!
We hate porn!
5
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:24,289
All: Down with porn!
- Porn is bad!
6
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,758
- It's a real shame.
7
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,359
Being exposed
to smut as a child
8
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,227
Is what made me
the man I am today.
9
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,495
- Why are we even here?
10
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:31,696
- We're required to be on hand
11
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,298
For any protests
that involve burning.
12
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,566
All:
Down with porn!
13
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,900
- Hey, you know there's porn
14
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,970
On your phones
and laptops, too, right?
15
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,773
[chanting stops]
16
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,309
- Burn the porn!
All: Down with porn!
17
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:45,710
- We hate porn!
- Down with porn!
18
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,313
- Unreal. There's always
that one dumb guy
19
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,581
In every group, huh?
20
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,516
- Porn is bad!
All: Down with porn!
21
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,251
- Why won't this light?
22
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:54,452
It's satan!
23
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,587
- Look at 'em, amateurs.
24
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,255
They didn't even
bring lighter fluid.
25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,057
- Yeah, well, in their defense,
they're probably used
26
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,526
To burning schoolbooks,
which go up a lot easier.
27
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,728
- I bet an m-80
will get this party started!
28
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:06,130
- What is he doing?
All: Down with porn!
29
00:01:06,132 --> 00:01:08,733
- Hey, you're not permitted
for explosives!
30
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,036
- Sir, sir, sir!
- Hey, hey!
31
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:13,806
All: Oh!
32
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,476
[rock music]
33
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:20,545
[children shouting]
34
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:22,614
♪ ♪
35
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:26,751
- Yes, tits!
- Yeah!
36
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,555
- All right, dick!
- Yeah!
37
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,557
- Well, if that's not a sign
from god,
38
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,158
I don't know what is.
39
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,560
- Amen.
- Amen.
40
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,297
♪ ♪
41
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,099
- Fuck me.
[all gasp]
42
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,567
- What?
43
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,570
[foreigner's "hot blooded"]
44
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:51,376
♪ ♪
45
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,112
- ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪
46
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,648
♪ check it and see ♪
47
00:01:56,783 --> 00:02:00,318
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
48
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:03,788
♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪
49
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,924
- Then he's like,
"I'm so broke,
50
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,861
I can't even pay attention."
[laughter]
51
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,595
Yes, I knew that joke, man.
52
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,130
- Hey, mr. Shabby shoes,
what's going on
53
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,465
With the sole of those boots?
54
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,733
- Oh, the bottom's
coming loose,
55
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:16,201
But I got some glue
in my locker.
56
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,670
- Station doesn't pay
for new boots?
57
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,404
- We're supposed
to get a boot allowance,
58
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:20,672
But chief can be a bit stingy.
59
00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:22,140
[grunts goofily]
money.
60
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,076
- What happens to granny
if he loses his sole?
61
00:02:24,211 --> 00:02:27,079
Does he start listening
to kenny g?
62
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,748
- What the fuck
did you just say to me?
63
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:30,883
- It was just a joke.
I--
64
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,017
- Cap, permission
to kick his ass.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,554
- Okay, kick his ass.
- Cap, no.
66
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,689
[rock music]
67
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,692
- You know, I actually
really liked your joke,
68
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,960
But I couldn't pass up the
opportunity to take your boots.
69
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,962
[chuckles]
70
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:47,165
But they don't fit because
you're a tiny-boot bitch.
71
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:48,567
[laughter]
- come on.
72
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,034
- I'm messing with you, man.
73
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,636
- He loves you, mickleberry.
He does.
74
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:52,571
- Morning!
- Hey, chiefy!
75
00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,106
- Chief!
- Hey, listen...
76
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:56,308
Weather forecast is calling
for a hell of a storm.
77
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,843
Could be severe flooding,
so I decided
78
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,313
To hold the d shift over
for double the personnel.
79
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,848
- Ah, double crews--
that doesn't happen every day.
80
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,718
It's gonna get cozy.
- Do we like the d shift?
81
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,587
- What's not to like?
They're exactly like you guys.
82
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,522
[laughs] have fun.
- Always do.
83
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,257
- Yeah.
- Do they look like us?
84
00:03:12,259 --> 00:03:14,793
- Nah, it's like a
second-generation copy kind of.
85
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,528
- Yeah,
like a poor man's version--
86
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,530
Not rock star material like us.
- Yeah.
87
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:20,265
- That's why we're
the a shift, right?
88
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:21,533
- I thought the letters
were random.
89
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,401
- Technically, yes.
90
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,670
But it's widely understood that
we're the chief's top crew,
91
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,072
So count yourself lucky.
92
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,140
- Let's put it this way--
93
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,874
If there was a tv show
about station 24,
94
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,743
We'd be the shift
they'd focus on.
95
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,077
- [snaps fingers]
- bing.
96
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,613
- Dibs on sexy
dumb comic relief.
97
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,215
- Ah, man!
All right, token woman.
98
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:38,550
- Ambiguous african.
99
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,952
- Italian guy with sweet hair.
100
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:41,820
Come on, let's work.
- Right.
101
00:03:41,956 --> 00:03:43,622
- Wait, guys, what would I be?
102
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,358
[indistinct chatter]
103
00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,627
[chatter stops]
104
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:51,630
[tense music]
105
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:58,804
♪ ♪
106
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:05,577
- Hey!
All: Hey!
107
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,713
- Aw, man, teddy dickosi.
108
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,182
That coif
is looking pretty slick.
109
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:13,185
What's your secret?
- Confidentially, margarine.
110
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,653
- [laughs]
I knew it.
111
00:04:14,789 --> 00:04:16,388
I can't believe
it's not butter!
112
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,589
- I believe it.
113
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:21,326
[both laugh]
114
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,061
- Mm-hmm.
Mm.
115
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:26,799
- Cousin terry!
Ha ha! What's up?
116
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,333
- Cousin lucy.
117
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:29,802
Finally,
we're on the same shift.
118
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,403
You know, it's too bad
it wasn't last week.
119
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,271
You could've joined me
and your dad for lunch.
120
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,008
We go out for mexican food
first Tuesday of every month.
121
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,209
- Really?
122
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:40,212
- We call it
the two-terry taco Tuesday.
123
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,880
[laughs]
124
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,482
What kind of special lunches
do you do with your dad?
125
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,818
- Oh, man, um...
126
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,220
He let me finish
his meatball sub the other day.
127
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,955
- Oh, yeah, that sounds fun.
128
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,624
- It was a huge sub.
129
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,827
It was a submarine sandwich.
- Yeah.
130
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,962
It's like a taco,
but with bread.
131
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,366
- Probie, this is the d shift's
medic, mcintosh jones.
132
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,767
- What up, granny smith?
133
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,569
- What up?
[both laugh]
134
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,705
- Hey, call me gram gram.
135
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,973
- Both apple names,
both grandma names?
136
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,309
- Welcome to the metaverse!
137
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,578
[both laughing]
138
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:19,518
♪ ♪
139
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,186
- What's the matter, ike?
140
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,655
Cia got you pushing
too many pencils?
141
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,858
- [laughs]
142
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,926
I wasn't really trying.
143
00:05:28,062 --> 00:05:30,128
- Ah, sure you weren't,
sure you weren't.
144
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,930
- I did arms this morning.
That's why I'm just, like--
145
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,533
- Ah, yes, excuses, excuses.
146
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,402
- You're looking good, brother.
- Thank you, thank you.
147
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,871
- Ah, man, what are you
benching these days about?
148
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,473
- 300 pounds,
but if that's too heavy,
149
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,007
You switch it to metric.
150
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,544
136 kilograms
is much easier to lift.
151
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,545
- Ahh.
- Obviously.
152
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,346
- Of course it is, obviously.
153
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,882
It's a lesser number.
154
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,150
Oh, man,
why didn't I think of that?
155
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:54,018
♪ ♪
156
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,353
- You must be
the d-shift probie.
157
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,756
I'm andres mickleberry,
the a-shift probie.
158
00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,024
- Oh, hey,
I'm andrea snorkleberry.
159
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,160
- For real?
Mickleberry, snorkleberry?
160
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,828
- Yeah, dude!
- When did you start?
161
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,163
- Four weeks ago.
What about you?
162
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:06,965
- Three weeks.
- Perfect.
163
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:09,501
Oh, my god.
I have one week of seniority.
164
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:12,437
Could you be a good kid
and finish cleaning the sink?
165
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,838
Thank you so much.
166
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,441
You got this.
167
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:20,712
♪ ♪
168
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,114
- Colosplash.
169
00:06:22,249 --> 00:06:23,782
- Hey, chiefy.
- Yeah.
170
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,917
- Listen,
I'm guessing there's gonna be
171
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,251
A bit
of a pissing match tonight
172
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,920
When it comes time
to pick bunks.
173
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,388
- Why don't you share your bunk
with your twin?
174
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,390
- I will, and he'll love it,
and I'll love it,
175
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,391
But I'm guessing the others
might have a problem with it.
176
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,194
- Ah, you'll figure it out.
Hey, you ever poop in a box?
177
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,396
- Not since April fools' day.
- Good one.
178
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,265
Yeah, you know,
my doctor told me that in lieu
179
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,267
Of my annual colonoscopy,
I could use
180
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,271
This colosplash at-home
colon-cancer-screening kit.
181
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:47,606
- What, they expect you
to crap in that box,
182
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,207
And then what
do you do with it?
183
00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:51,343
- You mail it to them.
Look at this. It's tupperware.
184
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:52,677
- What?
- Yeah.
185
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,479
Specimen bag, "biohazard."
186
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,880
[chuckles]
good for me.
187
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,482
- Get out. What kind
of a world do we live in
188
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,484
Where a grown man has
to drop a crud in a box
189
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,419
Like a common housecat
and then mail it?
190
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,021
- I guess it beats
a colonoscopy.
191
00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,957
- Nah, nah,
nothing beats a colonoscopy.
192
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,425
They give you sweet drugs,
you pass out,
193
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,361
The camera might even poke you
in the tingle button,
194
00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:11,630
And when you wake up,
they give you a cookie.
195
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,965
- I was not told of a cookie.
196
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,433
- They give you
any cookie you want.
197
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:15,634
- Snickerdoodle?
- Yeah.
198
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,701
- Chocolate chip?
- Yeah.
199
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:17,770
- Oatmeal?
- Yeah.
200
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:18,971
- Huh.
- Hey, chief.
201
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,505
- Hey.
- About the bunks tonight--
202
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,775
- Share with eddie.
- You're gonna love it.
203
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,177
- Huh, yeah, I will.
Not as much as you.
204
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,312
- [laughs]
- you like to spoon?
205
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,314
- I like to spork.
[laughter]
206
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,517
- "do not fill the collection
bucket above the fill line."
207
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,987
Uh-oh. [chuckles]
I guess that counts me out.
208
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,855
- Oh, chief, you're
doing the colosplash kit?
209
00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:38,857
- Yeah.
- Oh, smooth move, I did it.
210
00:07:38,993 --> 00:07:41,460
Yeah, by the way,
I made brownies.
211
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:42,861
They're on the stove.
212
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,596
Those two statements
were not connected.
213
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,998
[laughter]
214
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,266
- Teddy, you're my guy!
215
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,134
- Wait, wait, wait, because
he pooped in a box, too,
216
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,403
Suddenly he's your guy?
217
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,405
- No, he's my guy
'cause he made me brownies.
218
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:58,010
Now, if you'll excuse me,
teddy--oops, I mean, eddie--
219
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,545
Time to make the doughnuts.
- Ugh.
220
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:01,746
- Colosplash!
221
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,482
[thunder rumbles]
222
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:06,218
- Terry's nephew
is also named terry?
223
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,021
- Dad bullied my aunt jasmine
into naming her son terry,
224
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,755
So he'd have a male namesake.
225
00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:14,226
- Wow, sounds like something
in his life is missing, huh?
226
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,161
- Hey, look at this.
See the green?
227
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,562
That's just
the light stuff, right?
228
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,297
Here comes the big stuff.
Here it is.
229
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,899
Given the trajectory of it,
230
00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:22,567
I'd say it's gonna hit tacoma
about 3:00 p.M.
231
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,703
- You know, you should be
a weatherman, uncle terry.
232
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,171
I mean, chief.
233
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:28,440
- Hey, let's forget
about the formality, terry.
234
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:30,308
Call me uncle terry.
- [laughs] okay.
235
00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:31,776
- Check out this,
check out this.
236
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,178
I got a little bit here, right?
237
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,713
[goofy voice]
so the polar vortex
238
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:36,581
Combined
with a low-pressure system
239
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:39,051
Is gonna create
a mega precipitation event
240
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,119
In the lower regions of tacoma.
241
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,523
- I love
this weatherman bit, uncle!
242
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,191
[both laugh]
243
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,726
- [normal voice] that's good.
That's good, all right.
244
00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,194
[goofy voice]
now let me throw it
245
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,663
Over to champ trophy at sports.
246
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,398
- [goofy voice] well,
champ trophy here, dusty winds!
247
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,933
- [normal voice]
dusty winds, I love it!
248
00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:57,602
- My, oh, my,
the mariners had a big night!
249
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,404
- [goofy voice]
the mariners really rained
250
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,339
On the angels' parade
last night.
251
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,141
- Well, it was a good thing
it was raining
252
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,544
'cause the mariners' bats
were on fire!
253
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,612
They were as hot
as some of the buildings
254
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,147
We have to go into sometimes!
255
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,149
[both laugh]
- [normal voice] yeah.
256
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:13,485
We probably shouldn't joke
about that, though.
257
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,754
- [laughter]
258
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:16,955
- You okay?
259
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:18,423
You look like
you've seen a ghost.
260
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:23,027
- Oh, my god,
my dad's doing a bit.
261
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,162
- What?
262
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,764
He doesn't do bits.
- I know!
263
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:28,032
- Although come to think of it,
he was getting very chummy
264
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,568
With teddy dickosi
a bit earlier.
265
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,236
- He was?
- Super chummy.
266
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:32,971
- Maybe d shift
is his favorite crew.
267
00:09:33,107 --> 00:09:35,039
- Shut up!
What is wrong with you?
268
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,775
- That's stupid.
Toilet duty.
269
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,110
- Guys.
270
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,978
[whispering]
you got to see this. Come here.
271
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,313
[mouths words]
- [sighs]
272
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,781
[laughter]
273
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,383
[upbeat music playing]
274
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,519
[cheering]
275
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,053
♪ ♪
276
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,323
- Yeah, right?
Right, come on.
277
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:53,057
Hey.
- [whispering] what?
278
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,927
Terry didn't even dance
at his own wedding.
279
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,596
In fact, he specifically
asked for no music.
280
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,131
- And playing the maracas?
281
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,933
I've never seen him play
the maracas in my life.
282
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,667
- Hey, guys, you know what?
283
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,937
Since yesterday's incident
reports were so well written--
284
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,605
No typos, no passive verbs--
285
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,074
I'm gonna give each of you
an extra 100 bucks
286
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,143
For you boot allowance!
287
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,145
Enjoy!
[all cheering]
288
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,079
- He's upping
their boot allowance.
289
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:16,881
And I got the busted boot!
290
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:19,084
- ♪ da, da, da, da, da, oh ♪
291
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,953
♪ da, da, da, da, da, hey ♪
292
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:24,489
- Oh, my god, the d shift
is his favorite crew.
293
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,492
[dramatic music]
294
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,428
♪ ♪
295
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,266
[upbeat rock music]
296
00:10:34,268 --> 00:10:38,203
- Huh, okay, colosplash,
time to get to know each other.
297
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:43,208
[chuckles] oh, another thing
in a thing, okay.
298
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,411
Oh, there's another thing
in there.
299
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,415
And yet another container.
300
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,750
It's like a russian doll
for dumps.
301
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,418
[pounding on door]
302
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,753
Oh, come on.
303
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:56,888
[pounding on door]
ocupado, bro!
304
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,957
- Terry,
who's your favorite shift?
305
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,758
- Why are you bothering me
with this now?
306
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,560
How do you know I'm not in
the middle of a bowel movement?
307
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,830
- 'cause when you're in
the middle of a bowel movement,
308
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,698
The walls tremble
all over the station.
309
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,567
- [scoffs] ah, gross.
[pounding on door]
310
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,102
- Hey, dad?
311
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,238
Who do you like better,
a shift or d shift?
312
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,906
- Are you kidding me?
You're here, too?
313
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,775
- Which shift
do you like better?
314
00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:18,844
Dad!
- That's a ridiculous question.
315
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,578
I like all the shifts equally.
316
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,914
[pounding on door]
- terry!
317
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:26,118
Eddie, again,
if you had to save one shift
318
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,121
From a burning building,
which shift would it be?
319
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,589
- I wouldn't have to save any
of you from a burning building.
320
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,992
You're all firefighters.
- [grunts]
321
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:36,862
[pounding on door]
- but hypothetically speaking?
322
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:38,997
- Both of you know I don't
engage in hypotheticals!
323
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,799
- Okay, but if you had
to engage in hypotheticals
324
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:45,603
With just one shift,
which shift would it be?
325
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,172
- Uh...
326
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,745
- Terry, we know you're
in there.
327
00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,613
- Would you two
leave me the hell alone
328
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:58,216
And give me some privacy?
- Fine.
329
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,552
- That was not the validation
I was looking for.
330
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:01,887
- No, it sucked.
331
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,955
We need to make sure
that chief sees us
332
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,491
As the superior shift.
333
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,026
- Yes.
- Let's go.
334
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:11,229
[upbeat rock music]
335
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:18,170
♪ ♪
336
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,309
- Come on, get your game on.
337
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,113
- Eddie, what do you want?
338
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,115
I'm trying to dry off
my colosplash.
339
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,584
- Well, chief, I just wanted
to show you what a crack team
340
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,252
You have here in the a shift.
341
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,453
- Chief, do you see
how much cleaner
342
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:36,788
Our side of the truck is?
343
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,724
[chuckles] man, you could eat
off this baby.
344
00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:39,925
- Why would I eat off a truck?
345
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:41,927
- Huh?
No, no, you wouldn't.
346
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:45,130
I mean, no, but,
hypothetically--
347
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,932
- What's with everyone
and the hypotheticals?
348
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,201
- Chief doesn't engage
in hypotheticals, ike.
349
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:51,136
Even I knew that, you dimwit.
350
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,605
- Thank you, dex.
- Yeah. [stammers]
351
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,073
That's what I said, dimwit.
352
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,742
- You're the dimwit.
- You're a dimwit.
353
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,210
- You're the dimwit.
- You're a dimwit.
354
00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,545
- Yeah.
- What'd you say?
355
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,547
- Nothing. I--
- huh?
356
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,148
- [snapping fingers]
357
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,150
- [grunting]
358
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,819
- Hey, check out
these sandbags, huh, chiefy?
359
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,355
We are gonna kick
the rain's ass today, huh?
360
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,358
- Funny, you guys make sandbags
at the exact same pace.
361
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,760
- Well, I don't know
about that.
362
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:15,894
- Keep it up.
363
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,162
I'm gonna go make a splash.
364
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,032
[chuckles]
oh, boy. Oh, boy.
365
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,433
- Hey.
366
00:13:21,569 --> 00:13:24,302
Why you guys trying to show us
up in front of the chief?
367
00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:26,304
- Ha! Show you up--
that's a good one.
368
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,241
Why would a shift care what
chief thinks about d shift?
369
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,043
- Because we're
his favorite shift.
370
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,644
- That's ridiculous.
371
00:13:32,780 --> 00:13:35,047
We're the a shift.
- A.
372
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,915
- The letters don't mean
anything, guy.
373
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,984
They just exist to identify
the different shifts
374
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,718
On the rotation schedule.
375
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,789
But I guess only a first-rate
captain would know that.
376
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,190
- Oh, yeah?
377
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,392
You don't cobra me, dickosi.
I cobra you.
378
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,795
- Well, maybe
I could convince uncle terry
379
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,663
To rethink
this whole letter system
380
00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:55,200
To more accurately reflect
that we're his favorite shift.
381
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,270
After all,
I'm like the son he never had.
382
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,872
- Not after I rip
your fucking dick off.
383
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:04,810
[all ohing]
384
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,612
- Get back!
- It's okay, it's okay.
385
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,080
- All right, let's just settle
down with the dick ripping.
386
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,416
Listen, sorry
to break it to you,
387
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,085
But my crew--we just got
that something special.
388
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,088
In fact, if they were to make
a show about station 24,
389
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:18,756
We'd be the stars.
390
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,827
- Maybe on basic cable.
- On a network nobody watches.
391
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:24,362
- Guys, this is ridiculous.
392
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,831
We're supposed
to be professional.
393
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,099
You don't see me
and snorkleberry
394
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,366
At each other's throats.
395
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,835
- Who the hell is snorkleberry?
396
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,437
- That's snorkleberry.
397
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,971
- My name is not
398
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,441
Andrea snorkleberry,
you dingbat.
399
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,176
I was just making fun
of your stupid name.
400
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:42,047
My name is isabella corazon.
401
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,650
- Good one, corzy.
- Sick burn, probie!
402
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,652
- That's a beautiful name.
403
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,655
And you all suck!
- You suck!
404
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,922
- You suck!
- You suck!
405
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,590
- You suck.
- You suck.
406
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:56,061
- You're gonna rip my dick off?
[all shouting]
407
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,396
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What's going on in here?
408
00:14:58,532 --> 00:15:00,532
Last time I was here, you were
nicely making sandbags.
409
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:03,401
- Chief, uh, is that box
currently filled?
410
00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:06,138
- Yeah, finally.
- Man, that was really fast.
411
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,674
- I had to hustle back in here
'cause of you and you
412
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,543
And you all squabbling
about who's my favorite shift.
413
00:15:11,679 --> 00:15:12,811
Both: Which is?
414
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,412
- I don't have
a favorite shift.
415
00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,149
They're all the same.
A, b, c, d, it's meaningless.
416
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,484
- Well,
if it wasn't meaningless,
417
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,951
Which shift would you choose
to be a?
418
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:21,687
- Okay, that's it.
419
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,088
No more a, b, c, d.
420
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,622
I'm putting an end
to the stupid system.
421
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,892
From now on,
it's red shift, green shift,
422
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,626
Blue shift, gold shift.
423
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,029
That'll put an end
to your childish bickering.
424
00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:32,964
♪ ♪
425
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,300
[groaning]
426
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,435
Oh, stupid box.
427
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,104
- We're gold shift.
- No, we're gold shift.
428
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,772
- We're the gold shift.
I call dibs on the gold shift.
429
00:15:40,908 --> 00:15:44,242
- Okay, okay, okay, hold on!
Hold on, hold on a second.
430
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,912
As the captain
of today's shift--
431
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,246
- It's still our shift.
432
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:50,648
- I propose
a head-to-head competition
433
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,852
To determine who is
the top shift of this station.
434
00:15:53,854 --> 00:15:55,253
- You're going down.
435
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,189
- May the best shift win.
436
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,724
- Mm.
- Come on.
437
00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:00,658
- I'm right here.
- Come on.
438
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,528
- I'm gonna be over here.
- You're a douchebag.
439
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,129
- All right, yeah.
- It's on.
440
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:07,399
- Disappear.
- It's on, man.
441
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,401
- I'm watching you.
- All right.
442
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:11,136
- Whoa, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
443
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,604
- I'm all right.
I'm all right.
444
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,540
- Hey, let's get back to work.
- Get back.
445
00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:20,612
[all grunting]
446
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:23,615
[rock music]
447
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:30,889
♪ ♪
448
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:42,568
- What's going on? We've been
going at this for 20 minutes,
449
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:43,969
And nobody's moved an inch.
450
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:46,171
- Maybe both shifts
are equal in every way.
451
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,974
- Psst, hey, guys, we should
try the "squid game" strategy,
452
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,909
Where the whole team moves
forward three steps
453
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,310
And the other team falls.
454
00:16:52,312 --> 00:16:54,780
- Spoiler alert--
I'm only on episode three.
455
00:16:54,915 --> 00:16:56,448
- Oh, is that the one
with the cookies?
456
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,849
- Oh, come on!
457
00:16:57,985 --> 00:16:59,918
- And they took
three steps forward
458
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,654
And caused the entire
other team to fall down.
459
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:05,523
- Hey, spoiler alert--
I haven't seen season one.
460
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,460
- It's really, really good,
a must-watch.
461
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,861
- Okay, let's do this.
462
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:14,532
Ready?
One, two, three.
463
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,469
[all yelling]
464
00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:22,340
- Did you guys "squid game" us?
465
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,542
- Yeah.
- Has everybody seen it?
466
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,345
- Fine, if a test of brawn
won't settle this,
467
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,815
Then let's pivot
to a test of brains.
468
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:32,150
- Damn it.
- Damn.
469
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,085
- If you're so close
to the chief,
470
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:36,087
Let's see who knows him best.
471
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,890
[upbeat music]
472
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,892
- Guys, come on,
it's my lunch break here.
473
00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:42,560
I just stopped by to drop off
terry's statins.
474
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,763
I'm not doing this.
- Pretty please, aunt vicky.
475
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:46,498
- Please, come on.
- Come on.
476
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,967
- You're the best judge
for this, mom, please.
477
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,568
- Okay.
- Yes!
478
00:17:50,704 --> 00:17:52,971
[cheering]
479
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,640
- Yes, vicky.
- Come on, granny.
480
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,575
- All right, all right,
let's get this split up here.
481
00:17:57,711 --> 00:17:59,511
- Let's go, granny.
- Come on, granny.
482
00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:00,979
Come on, granny.
483
00:18:02,116 --> 00:18:06,652
- Okay, who is terry mcconky's
sex-ception?
484
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,455
Both: Lucy lawless
xena, warrior princess!
485
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,922
- Yeah!
- Yes!
486
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,658
- He tells you these things?
487
00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,059
- Go get 'em, ike.
Go get 'em, ike.
488
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,461
- Oh, yeah, it's me.
- Next, here we go.
489
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,129
- Come on.
- Oh, yeah, here we go.
490
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,930
- Yeah.
[chuckles]
491
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:22,067
- How old is terry
in dog years?
492
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,935
- Dogs age faster that humans.
- If we know that terry...
493
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,671
- But the average dog runs...
- Hates dogs, we can assume...
494
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:27,272
- Twice as fast as the...
- It's because dogs live...
495
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,007
- Average human...
- Longer than terry...
496
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,542
- At least in my experience...
- Although, not as long...
497
00:18:30,678 --> 00:18:32,077
- Okay, okay.
I just have an hour for lunch,
498
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,412
So could we just call this
a push?
499
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:38,083
Both: Seven.
- Wow, that is correct.
500
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,885
Ish?
Both: Yes!
501
00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:41,887
- Take that!
- Yes!
502
00:18:42,022 --> 00:18:43,221
- Yes!
- Yes!
503
00:18:43,357 --> 00:18:44,490
- Really shocking.
- That was awesome.
504
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,024
- Here we go.
- Come on, cap.
505
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,559
- All right, here we go.
- Here we go, cap.
506
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:49,761
- What is number one
on terry's bucket list?
507
00:18:49,897 --> 00:18:51,697
Both: Front-row seat,
criss angel's "mindfreak."
508
00:18:51,832 --> 00:18:53,565
- Sadly, I know that
to be true,
509
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,501
And that is a tie, okay?
510
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,102
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
511
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,371
- All right, all right.
- That's our captain!
512
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:03,042
- This is the last question
that I am reading.
513
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,913
- What is terry's favorite
naptime snack?
514
00:19:08,048 --> 00:19:09,314
- Tea and pretzels.
515
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:13,451
- We won! We won!
- But what kind exactly?
516
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,120
- What?
517
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,855
- Country bumpkin
brand sweet tea
518
00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:19,257
And flugelsohn brother pretzel
rods, extra-salted!
519
00:19:19,393 --> 00:19:20,992
But I guess
you would have known that
520
00:19:21,128 --> 00:19:22,460
If you were the son
he never had.
521
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,530
All: Oh!
Both: He said it first.
522
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,065
- She got more specific.
She got more specific.
523
00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:30,668
- Whoa, hey, hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey!
524
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,470
Sorry to break up
the fun here, guys,
525
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,739
But the storm moved
up the coast--
526
00:19:33,874 --> 00:19:34,806
Danger averted.
527
00:19:34,942 --> 00:19:36,274
D shift, you can go home.
528
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:38,610
- But, chief, we're just about
to win the gold.
529
00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,078
All: Yeah.
- What do you mean?
530
00:19:40,214 --> 00:19:41,146
Dickosi, you guys
are dismissed, go.
531
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:42,548
Go, go, go.
- [sighs]
532
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,082
- No, cap,
we worked for the gold.
533
00:19:44,218 --> 00:19:45,351
- I said--
- hey.
534
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,952
What are you doing
with these clowns?
535
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:48,086
- Can I just give you
your statins
536
00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,355
And go back to work, please?
537
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,156
- What's "the in-terry-gation"?
- Uh-uh.
538
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,225
- What is this?
What are you guys doing?
539
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,160
- [sighs]
- where you going?
540
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,696
- Captain, captain.
You were never gonna win.
541
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,767
None of us were.
We're too evenly matched.
542
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:04,836
There's no gold shift
designation for either squad.
543
00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:09,507
The only gold is the shining
glow we feel in our hearts,
544
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:14,246
That 24-karat pride
we feel as firefighters
545
00:20:14,248 --> 00:20:17,983
Doing the best we can do
for our community
546
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,317
And our chief.
547
00:20:19,453 --> 00:20:21,987
- Amen, brother.
[chuckles] amen.
548
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:24,390
- You know, I couldn't have
said it better myself, penisi.
549
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:28,059
Although I could have said it
equally as well.
550
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:29,595
[laughter]
551
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,863
- Son of a bitch.
552
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:34,332
- Cobra.
- Oh!
553
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,202
[laughter]
- oh, he got you.
554
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:40,205
- Okay, all right, all right.
- Truce?
555
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,274
- You work it out
with dickosi?
556
00:20:42,276 --> 00:20:43,609
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we talked about it,
557
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,343
And we came to the agreement
that the a team
558
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,678
Will now be known
as the gold shift
559
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,346
And, also,
you like us the best.
560
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,015
- Good man, but you know
561
00:20:50,150 --> 00:20:52,017
Who I actually like best
in this room?
562
00:20:52,152 --> 00:20:54,286
My one and only best gal.
There she is.
563
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,289
- Aw, thank you.
- Mwah.
564
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,491
And, honey, while I got you...
- Yes. Mm-hmm?
565
00:20:59,493 --> 00:21:01,092
- Could you take this
to the post office
566
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,761
On your way back to work?
- Hell, no.
567
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,031
I'm not walking into
the post office carrying that.
568
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:07,633
- It's shit.
- Although, you know,
569
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,035
I know someone
who would carry it for you.
570
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,569
- Hmm?
- Lucy lawless.
571
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,038
I bet she'd carry your poop.
572
00:21:13,173 --> 00:21:15,240
- Hmm. Hmm.
- [gasps]
573
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,574
- Bye, honey.
574
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,043
Who told her
about lucy lawless?
575
00:21:18,178 --> 00:21:20,111
- Granny told her.
- Gram gram, you mean.
576
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,246
- It was gram gram.
Gram gram told her.
577
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:22,848
- All right,
well, you know what?
578
00:21:22,983 --> 00:21:27,052
Congratulations, mickleberry.
You get the honors.
579
00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:28,520
- Oh!
580
00:21:28,656 --> 00:21:30,856
Holy crap,
that's surprisingly heavy.
581
00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:33,124
- Taco Tuesday!
[chuckles]
582
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:35,393
All right, back to work,
gold shift.
583
00:21:35,529 --> 00:21:37,329
- All right,
that's right, gold shift.
584
00:21:37,465 --> 00:21:39,397
Sounds good.
Let's go to work.
585
00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,367
- Ah, I need
to take my statins.
586
00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:47,205
[upbeat rock music]
587
00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:48,806
- Chief, I know
we worked it all out,
588
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,542
But I got to say,
there's still some things
589
00:21:50,678 --> 00:21:52,878
We saw you do with the d shift
that you never do with us.
590
00:21:53,013 --> 00:21:54,813
- Yeah, like the bits,
the dancing,
591
00:21:54,948 --> 00:21:56,682
The boot allowance.
- What are you talking about?
592
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,017
I do that stuff
with all you guys.
593
00:21:59,019 --> 00:22:00,818
- That is not true.
- Yes, it is true.
594
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,354
Ike, remember last week,
you and I did
595
00:22:02,490 --> 00:22:04,222
The used-car salesman bit?
596
00:22:04,358 --> 00:22:06,224
- Oh, yeah.
No, we did do that bit.
597
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:07,893
That's right.
598
00:22:08,028 --> 00:22:10,228
What's it gonna take to get you
to drive away in this today?
599
00:22:10,364 --> 00:22:12,364
- You'd look pretty good
in a toyota corolla, sir.
600
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,500
- You don't like the color?
We can paint it.
601
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:17,102
- This car ain't gonna
drive itself.
602
00:22:17,237 --> 00:22:19,037
- With the thing in the front.
603
00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:21,573
- And you,
you and I danced the salsa.
604
00:22:21,575 --> 00:22:23,308
- First of all, it's sal-sa.
605
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:25,177
- That's what I said, salsa.
- It's sal-sa.
606
00:22:25,312 --> 00:22:26,712
- Also, last month,
I told you,
607
00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:28,514
Your crew could increase
their boot allowance.
608
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:30,849
Both: What?
- Oh, yeah, you're right.
609
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:32,718
You did.
I forgot to tell you guys.
610
00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:34,853
Ha ha! This whole thing
could have been avoided.
611
00:22:34,988 --> 00:22:36,188
What are you gonna do?
612
00:22:36,323 --> 00:22:37,789
- You guys are just like
my real daughters.
613
00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:39,657
Each one thinks
I treat the other one better.
614
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,527
That's the way kids are.
- She is your real daughter.
615
00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,661
- You're not!
- You are softer on my sisters.
616
00:22:43,797 --> 00:22:46,198
- See, this is what I'm
talking about--look at this.
617
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:47,599
- Hey, mickleberry.
- Mickleberry!
618
00:22:47,601 --> 00:22:49,401
I told you to mail that
days ago.
619
00:22:49,403 --> 00:22:51,069
- I did, sir.
620
00:22:51,071 --> 00:22:53,205
It says "return to sender--
insufficient postage."
621
00:22:53,340 --> 00:22:54,806
It must have been too heavy.
- [laughs]
622
00:22:54,942 --> 00:22:57,342
- Mama always said
I could fill up the diaper.
623
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,877
- [gags]
- hey, screw it.
624
00:22:58,879 --> 00:23:00,278
I'm gonna go in
for a colonoscopy.
625
00:23:00,414 --> 00:23:01,813
- You should.
626
00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:03,415
- What do you want me
to do with this, sir?
627
00:23:03,551 --> 00:23:04,950
- Ugh.
- You know what?
628
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,485
We should stash it in the wall
like a time capsule
629
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:08,820
And wait
for a future crew to find it.
630
00:23:08,956 --> 00:23:11,289
- [laughs] we should leave it
for the d shift.
631
00:23:11,291 --> 00:23:12,858
- Oh, I know what to do.
632
00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:16,828
- Oh, oh, now we're talking.
- What are you up to?
633
00:23:16,964 --> 00:23:18,496
- What are you doing?
634
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:20,232
- Uh-oh.
- What?
635
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,834
- You're gonna put it
in their fridge, aren't you?
636
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:26,304
- Reverse psychology.
[laughter]
637
00:23:26,306 --> 00:23:29,040
- They'll definitely eat it.
638
00:23:29,042 --> 00:23:33,512
I've fallen for that one.
[laughter continues]
639
00:23:35,849 --> 00:23:37,715
We've had a lot of fun
here today.
640
00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:40,118
But colorectal health
is no joke.
641
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,519
Right, guys?
642
00:23:41,655 --> 00:23:43,255
- Wait.
- What?
643
00:23:43,257 --> 00:23:44,390
- What are we doing?
644
00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:46,458
- Exactly--
we all should be asking,
645
00:23:46,594 --> 00:23:48,726
"what are we doing
to prevent colon cancer?"
646
00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:52,931
Screening is an easy way
to avoid serious health risks.
647
00:23:53,066 --> 00:23:55,267
- If you're age 50 or over,
ask your doctor
648
00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,402
About which test
is best for you.
649
00:23:57,537 --> 00:23:58,870
And who knows?
650
00:23:59,006 --> 00:24:02,274
Maybe your doctor will even
poke your tingle button.
651
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,609
- So go get screened.
652
00:24:03,744 --> 00:24:08,880
An ounce of prevention
is worth a pound of cure.
653
00:24:08,882 --> 00:24:11,016
- Okay, what is--
654
00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:12,884
- Oh.
- What is happening?
655
00:24:12,886 --> 00:24:14,687
I feel like
I'm having a stroke.