1 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,156 - Okay, listen up. 2 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,690 Finally, official department photos are next week. 3 00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,760 So mark your calendars. Make your preparations. 4 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,361 - Hey-o. - Mm. 5 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,763 - We need a week to prepare? - Well, you might. 6 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:32,564 But I don't because I'm noyce. 7 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,499 - [chuckles] noyce. 8 00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:37,302 - Hey, this is your first department photo, probie, hmm? 9 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,837 - Yeah. - It's important. 10 00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:40,172 We do it every few years, and we use it 11 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,040 For all kinds of professional things. 12 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,376 Id cards, press releases, newspaper articles. 13 00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:46,178 - Cool, how do I get my picture in the newspaper? 14 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:47,379 - You die. - What? 15 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:48,981 - These are also affectionately known 16 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,649 As the "firefighter death photo." 17 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,917 It's the picture they use for your obituary. 18 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,787 - So not to be taken lightly 19 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,721 Unless you want to end up 20 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,524 Like captain boris chaffee. 21 00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,059 Triple chin chaffee. 22 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:03,728 All: Triple chin chaffee. 23 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:04,863 [laughter] - there he is. 24 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,264 - He was a revered captain. 25 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:08,733 He died saving an entire school bus full of kids. 26 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,002 And he was pretty good-lookin', but... 27 00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:12,136 He did not take picture day seriously. 28 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:14,539 And this is how he will always be remembered. 29 00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,208 - It looks like he's wearing a necklace of chins. 30 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,943 - I always wondered if that bus landed on his face. 31 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,345 - All he had to do was hold that chin up. 32 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,746 - And grow a mustache for christ's sake. 33 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:22,747 - Come on. - I mean, come on. 34 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,282 - And close your mouth. 35 00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:25,484 - You know, he was actually kind of a dick. 36 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,219 - Yeah, with the smelliest feet. 37 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:29,087 - And he was a close-talker. - And terrible breath. 38 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,489 - Liar. - Big gambler. 39 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:31,956 - Philanderer. 40 00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:32,957 - Stole a lot of stuff from the station. 41 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,092 - But he did save those kids. 42 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,227 - That's true. - Yes, yes. 43 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,029 - Yes. May he rest in peace. 44 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,230 Both: Yeah, rest in peace. - Yeah. 45 00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,165 - Rest in peace. - Rest in peace. 46 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,036 [foreigner's "hot blooded"] 47 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:49,908 ♪ ♪ 48 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:52,310 - ♪ well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 49 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,847 ♪ check it and see ♪ 50 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:58,383 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 51 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:01,453 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 52 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,988 - Hey-o. 53 00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,657 Who's ready for picture day, huh? 54 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,792 - Yeah, chief, do you want some breakfast? 55 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,261 - Nope, I'm gonna stay lean today 56 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:10,863 For a good, professional photo. 57 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,264 - It's a good call, chief. - Oh. 58 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,465 - Oh, boy. 59 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,867 - What's wrong with your shoulder? 60 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:15,934 - I tweaked it pulling up my comforter. 61 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,269 - What, do you have, like, 62 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:18,537 A weighted blanket or something? 63 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:19,738 - Nah, just high-quality comforter. 64 00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:21,073 - It's time to switch 65 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:22,274 To the lightweight summer comforter. 66 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,275 - I don't know. I like to sweat. 67 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,409 - If I had a dime... 68 00:02:24,411 --> 00:02:25,410 - Hey, lucy, don't make fun 69 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,345 Of your dad's failing health. 70 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,982 - I'm not failing. Just got a bad shoulder. 71 00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:33,618 - [chuckling] okay. 72 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,819 - What is happenin' here? 73 00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,755 - Who you takin' to the prom, there, tin tin? 74 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,423 - Okay, settle down. 75 00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:40,825 Probie, this is exactly the picture day energy I like. 76 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:42,227 Huh? The hair, the teeth. 77 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,628 Look at him. Perfect. 78 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:45,497 - Yeah, yeah. The kid looks good. 79 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:47,499 The rest of you could learn something from the probie 80 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,033 And take some pride in your photo. 81 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,235 - For what? 82 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:51,236 They always get my lighting wrong, 83 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,637 And my pictures suck. 84 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,972 - What am I supposed to do, wear makeup? 85 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,107 - Do my hair? 86 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,841 - Maybe you should do your hair. 87 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,310 Your mother bought you that nice new blow-dryer online. 88 00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,844 - That thing's from europe. 89 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,313 And it doesn't even have the right plugs. 90 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,915 - A little effort would go a long way. 91 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,584 - If you care so much, where is all your effort, guy? 92 00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,252 - This face needs no effort, guy. 93 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,921 - It is very distinguished, cap. 94 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:10,322 - Thank you, mickleberry. 95 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,990 - Distinguished is just another word for old. 96 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:14,259 - Lucy, that's ageism. - Mm-hmm. 97 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,928 - At least your dad and I care. 98 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,462 Yes, he is over 50 99 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:20,064 With an uninsurable bmi and shoulder pain. 100 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:21,600 But the man is foregoing his breakfast 101 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:22,667 For the death photos. 102 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,469 That's sacrifice. 103 00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,672 - Hey! Dingleberry? Who did that? 104 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,141 [both chuckling] 105 00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:30,875 Was this you? - No, it wasn't me. 106 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,144 - Was that you? 107 00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:33,612 - No, I don't even know how to sew, chief. 108 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,280 That's crazy. - All right, listen up. 109 00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:36,815 These photos are gonna be professional. 110 00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,750 You're gonna sit up straight. You're gonna smile. 111 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,885 And don't be the jokester trying to sneak in 112 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:41,886 Dirty messages. 113 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,021 - Do not be the jokester. 114 00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:44,889 - All right. - Carry on. 115 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,626 You look good, mickleberry. 116 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:48,827 - I did do it. 117 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,295 - [chuckles] - I knew it. 118 00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,230 - I knew it. - I do know how to sew. 119 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:57,502 ♪ ♪ 120 00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,072 - What are you doing? - Oh, god! 121 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,307 - Are you putting on makeup? 122 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,977 - Wha-- [chuckles] 123 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,244 No. 124 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,445 I mean, yes. 125 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,848 I am putting on makeup, 126 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,383 Uh, to cover my hickeys. 127 00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,385 - On your forehead? - You should see her face. 128 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,987 - Barf. - Oh, whatever. 129 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:15,988 When two people love each other, 130 00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:17,055 That's what they do. 131 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,056 - Wait, you've never covered up 132 00:04:18,192 --> 00:04:19,524 Hickeys before. 133 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,993 - [gasps] because those are no hickeys. 134 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,327 Those are botox bruises. 135 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,128 - What? No way. 136 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,198 - Yeah, way, I watched four seasons 137 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,666 Of "botox bunnies" on trutv. 138 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:29,468 I know exactly what I'm looking at. 139 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,804 - Okay, fine. Yes, I got botox. 140 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,205 And it's not the first time. 141 00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,407 Only this time, I got triple the ccs. 142 00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:36,809 - Doesn't look any different. 143 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,210 - Ah, it hasn't kicked in yet. 144 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:41,746 But at any given moment, this face is gonna freeze, 145 00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,748 And these worry lines will be blasted 146 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,017 Back to 1986. 147 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,019 You should try it sometime. - I look just fine. 148 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,353 - Sure you do. 149 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,422 Whatever you do, don't tell your dad. 150 00:04:50,557 --> 00:04:52,224 - Why not? - Well... 151 00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,626 [chuckles] look at this harley clifford-jones. 152 00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:57,029 He's got rooster throat but a smooth forehead. 153 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:58,096 He's not fooling anyone. 154 00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,698 - Botox is for dorks. 155 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:00,833 - I totally agree. 156 00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,034 There's nothing more attractive 157 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,035 Than aging gracefully. 158 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,769 - Bullshit, penisi. 159 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,638 Botox is right up your alley. - That's ridiculous. 160 00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,774 - I bet you 5 grand you use it within the next ten years. 161 00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,109 - [chuckles] you're on. 162 00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:12,911 I will never do botox. 163 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,713 - Oh, ho. 164 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,248 - I am three weeks away from winning that bet. 165 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:17,315 And I want that money. 166 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,450 - Why are you risking it 167 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:19,451 With three weeks to go? 168 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:20,919 - I've actually been on botox 169 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,320 The last ten years. 170 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,788 In fact, I was on botox when we made the bet. 171 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,390 - You hypocrite. - Well... 172 00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,259 - You will be splitting this with me, 50-50. 173 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:28,593 - Bullshit. 174 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:29,862 - Well, do you want to win 2,500 175 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,730 Or lose 5 grand when I tell my dad? 176 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:34,733 - Oh, you are a rotten little street rat. 177 00:05:34,869 --> 00:05:36,669 Okay, fine. You're on. 178 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,803 But don't you say a word to anybody. 179 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:41,206 - Nice doing business with you, you vain asshole. 180 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,541 - Get out of here. 181 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,876 ♪ ♪ 182 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,210 - Goodness gracious. 183 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,678 Will you stop with the primping? 184 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,747 - Easy for you to say. When you're balding, 185 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,014 All you have to do is shave your head. 186 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,283 - Excuse you? 187 00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:53,017 - This could be my first and last 188 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:53,952 Department photo, granny. 189 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:55,087 - Yeah, it's about to be. 190 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,755 - [groaning] oh, god. 191 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,490 - Firefighting is a dangerous job. 192 00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,625 Chief was right to say, "take the photo seriously." 193 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,094 Especially when you're as old as he is. 194 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,362 - What? 195 00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:04,363 - You're constantly cheating death. 196 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,898 - He's right, chief. 197 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,232 You are much closer to death than all of us. 198 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,300 - We're the same age. 199 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:09,834 [grunts] - yeah, but...[sighs] 200 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,371 You're the old same age. I'm the young same age. 201 00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,838 My psyche's in a much better place 202 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,373 'cause I don't feel old. You know why that is? 203 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,509 - I know why. 204 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,712 - It's a little something called "dostadning." 205 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,315 - Dodadning? - Dostadning. 206 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,118 - Dodesting? - Dostadning. 207 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,653 - Tostitos? - It means "death cleaning." 208 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,456 It's a swedish custom my second wife taught me about. 209 00:06:31,458 --> 00:06:32,724 When you get to a certain age, 210 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,459 It's the process of unburdening yourself 211 00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,328 Of unnecessary belongings. 212 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,931 - Sounds like european bullshit to me. 213 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,132 - Oh, I read about that. 214 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,533 You get rid of your physical clutter, 215 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:42,867 And it eliminates your mental clutter. 216 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,202 You feel younger. - That's right, probie. 217 00:06:44,338 --> 00:06:45,537 Even the probie knows. 218 00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,071 - This whole thing sounds stupid. 219 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,407 Oh, god, ah. 220 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,344 - Oh, my god. - Ouch. 221 00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,546 - I have a delivery for granfield smith 222 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,348 From tacoma creative photo. 223 00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,749 - Oh, shoot. 224 00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,352 - Um... [laughs] 225 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,555 Wow, I asked you to deliver that outside. 226 00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:05,958 - What'd you get, granny? - Just some body cam stuff. 227 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,860 - Oh, cool, cool, cool. - [chuckles] 228 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:11,296 ♪ ♪ 229 00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:14,232 - [groaning] oh, boy. 230 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,901 - You know, you really should get that shoulder checked out. 231 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,903 - Ah, it's just old age. 232 00:07:18,905 --> 00:07:21,306 I know you're full of false bravado. 233 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,375 But does this old age talk ever bother you? 234 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:26,244 - Nah, I still kick so much ass. 235 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,846 You know, I meant what I said out there. 236 00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:29,047 I have no mental clutter, 237 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:30,382 And it keeps me feeling young. 238 00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,384 But you are clutter city. 239 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,186 You can't even let go of old electric razors. 240 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,587 - Why would I throw away good batteries. 241 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:39,123 - Well, you need a good dostadning. 242 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,459 You gotta declutter yourself. 243 00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,860 Throw away something you don't want anymore. 244 00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:43,928 - That's rough. 245 00:07:43,930 --> 00:07:46,264 Oh, you know that throw pillow you gave me? 246 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,666 - [chuckles] the one where I'm eating 247 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,334 The chicken wings on it? Yeah, yeah. 248 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:53,071 - This one. - [laughs] 249 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,206 "sit on this." 250 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,341 Oh, man. That thing is hysterical. 251 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:57,409 - It's pretty funny. 252 00:07:57,544 --> 00:07:59,011 I'm gettin' rid of it. 253 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,079 - Okay. 254 00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:02,547 Okay. How'd that feel? 255 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,882 - I feel like I just unbuckled my belt 256 00:08:04,018 --> 00:08:06,751 After a rack of ribs. [chuckles] 257 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,086 You were right. I never liked that pillow. 258 00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,621 But you did. So I held onto it. 259 00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,556 And, frankly, it was a burden. - Okay. 260 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,358 - [sighs] but now I feel lighter. 261 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,427 - That's what dostadning is all about. 262 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,896 - Then I'm dostadning -ing-ing-ing. 263 00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:19,364 - Yeah, you are. 264 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,368 - Okay. - [laughs] 265 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,371 [face creaking] 266 00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:32,310 ♪ ♪ 267 00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:33,812 Lucy. 268 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,582 - Oh, you look pleased with yourself. 269 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,984 - The botox kicked in while I was being smug. 270 00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,654 Now I'm stuck in "smug face." - what? 271 00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,057 - How the hell am I gonna hide this? 272 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,659 ♪ ♪ 273 00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,931 - I need to avoid terry until this wears off. 274 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,599 - You're gonna avoid him for the next three months? 275 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,601 You look like the cat that swallowed the canary. 276 00:08:56,603 --> 00:08:58,337 - You mean the cat that got the cream? 277 00:08:58,471 --> 00:08:59,538 - Don't you dare correct me 278 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,340 With that smug look on your face. 279 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,675 - Hey-o. - Cover me. 280 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,011 50-50, remember. - It's 60-40 now. 281 00:09:06,147 --> 00:09:08,680 - Such a street rat. 282 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,749 - Eddie, you look like the cat that caught the mouse. 283 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,818 - Gotta run. - Huh, okay. 284 00:09:14,421 --> 00:09:15,887 Ever get the feeling he's too cocky? 285 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,423 - Every single day. 286 00:09:18,359 --> 00:09:19,825 - Lucy... 287 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,627 I've decided to do the swedish dostadning. 288 00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,163 And in the interest of decluttering, 289 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,031 I've decided to get something off my chest. 290 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,232 - Okay. 291 00:09:27,368 --> 00:09:28,567 - You know how you always asked me 292 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:29,701 Why you didn't have a birthday party 293 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,036 Until you were seven? 294 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,037 - Yes, I recall. 295 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,705 - Well, in 1998, 296 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,507 Ken griffey jr. Led the american league 297 00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:36,908 With 55 home runs. 298 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,377 On September 25th, 299 00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:40,779 He was going for a career high 56. 300 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,581 And I had the tickets. - Oh. 301 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,650 - But, unexpectedly, vicky went into labor with you 302 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,252 And I had to give up those tickets. 303 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,720 [chuckles] 304 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,055 That night, when I was in the hospital, 305 00:09:50,191 --> 00:09:52,524 Ken griffey jr. Hit his 56th home run. 306 00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,593 And because of your birth, I missed it. 307 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:55,927 - I think you made the right call 308 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,662 Being there for you daughter-- 309 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,464 - And for seven long years, I held it against you. 310 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,133 It was a very difficult post-partum time for me. 311 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,802 But now I'm over it. 312 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,737 Whoo. [chuckles] 313 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:08,273 That feels great. Wow. 314 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,141 [chuckles] okay. 315 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,511 - Are you fucking kidding? 316 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,747 - Excuse me, hey, chief, did you want to see me or... 317 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:17,416 - Oh, yeah. Come on in, sit down. 318 00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:18,884 - Uh, was it just me 319 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,151 Or was it mickleberry and them too? 320 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,753 - Just you. 321 00:10:21,889 --> 00:10:24,556 - Um, if this is about all, like, the protein shake 322 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:26,024 And everything that was left out, 323 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,492 I think mickleberry might have got into that. 324 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:28,827 That might not... 325 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:29,828 - This is not about mickleberry. 326 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,096 This is something else. 327 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,298 As a result of my dostadning, 328 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,499 I've decided to give you 329 00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,701 One of my most prized possessions. 330 00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:38,904 My joke collection. - Why me? 331 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,773 - Well, I know you have trouble completing your jokes. 332 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,308 I thought this could help you out. 333 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,043 - I mean, I-- it's not that I have trouble 334 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,912 Completing jokes. It's that, you know, 335 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,248 Sometimes I'm trying to think of, like, the perfect-- 336 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,182 - [chuckles] my joke collection. 337 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,185 - Oh, whoa. [chuckles] cool. 338 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,588 What--it's gotta be, like, 50 popsicle sticks in here. 339 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:59,057 - Thousands. And I've sucked 'em all. 340 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,126 - Each one has a joke on it? - Yeah. 341 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,727 My kids didn't want them, so I figured 342 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,129 I'd give them to you. 343 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,731 - Ah, wait, your kids didn't want these? 344 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,266 - Yeah, weird, right? 345 00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:09,468 - So many. Okay, uh... 346 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:12,070 "what's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?" 347 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,605 Both: The pavement! 348 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:16,207 [both laugh] 349 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,543 - 'cause you're gonna fall off and hit your head. 350 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,345 - You picked the best one right off the bat. 351 00:11:20,481 --> 00:11:22,013 [laughs] - oh, that is so funny. 352 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,215 All right--wait, "what kind of a car 353 00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,084 Does an egg drive?" 354 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,620 "a yolkswagon." 355 00:11:28,755 --> 00:11:31,356 Yolkswagon? - Yolks-wagon? 356 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,292 - "a yo..." [laughs] 357 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,893 Yolkswagon. - [chuckles] 358 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:35,961 - Oh, man. 359 00:11:36,097 --> 00:11:37,562 - I didn't get it the first time either. 360 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,030 - Wait, do you want me to give you 361 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,499 A handful too and we can, like, go back and forth? 362 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:41,566 - No, no, I think that's-- that'll be all. 363 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,569 You're dismissed. 364 00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,571 - Ugh, so sticky. [chuckles] 365 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,239 You know what, chief? 366 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:50,041 I actually was having a hard time telling jokes. 367 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,576 - Don't draw it out. You can go. 368 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,044 - Do you want it open or closed? 369 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,246 - Uh, you can keep it open. - You got it, chief. 370 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:56,581 Yeah! - Yeah. 371 00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:57,849 [sighs] 372 00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:01,186 Dostadning. Dostadning. 373 00:12:01,322 --> 00:12:02,787 Doo-stadning. 374 00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:05,457 Dostadning. Wow. 375 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:10,261 ♪ ♪ 376 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:13,332 - This book is so, so sad. 377 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,334 I think I'm gonna cry. 378 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:16,735 - Hey, anybody know 379 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,137 When the photographer showin' up? 380 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,270 - Don't know, don't care. 381 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,673 - What you lookin' for? - What? 382 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,274 Uh, nothing. 383 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,076 Has anyone seen an international plug adapter? 384 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,612 - What do you need it for? - My radio. 385 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,414 - You still have a plug-in radio? 386 00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:31,416 Cool. - [chuckles] 387 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,619 "because they live in schools." 388 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:37,088 [snorts] this one gets me every time. 389 00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,024 - Ike, those popsicle sticks still look wet. 390 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,492 Please tell me you boiled them. 391 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,694 - Uh, no. I'm not gonna boil them, lucy. 392 00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,295 'cause that would erase the jokes. 393 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,631 The jokes are printed on here. You know that, right? 394 00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,299 Oh, here's one. Hey, here, I got one. 395 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,570 "what is a cow's favorite form of entertainment?" 396 00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:52,838 - Moo-vies. 397 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,306 - [laughs] - [laughs sarcastically] 398 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,442 - Hey, man, what's with that smug look on your face? 399 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,910 It hasn't changed for an hour. 400 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:00,512 - This is the way I always look. 401 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,781 - Hey, cap, did you get the botox for the picture? 402 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,183 - What? No, probie, be quiet. 403 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:05,384 - You did. You're frozen. 404 00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:06,518 - Whoops. [chuckles] 405 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,719 - Okay, fine. A little bit. 406 00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,054 - Look at you, 407 00:13:09,190 --> 00:13:12,391 Mr. "I don't care about the photo. I don't age." 408 00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:13,925 [scoffs] so disappointing. 409 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:14,994 - Okay, just keep it quiet. 410 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,728 - Wait, cap, I got one for you. 411 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,598 "what goes up but doesn't come down?" 412 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,267 "your age." [laughs] 413 00:13:22,403 --> 00:13:23,668 It's, like, the perfect one. 414 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,537 Literally the perfect one for this moment. 415 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:26,671 - [chuckles weakly] 416 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,273 - I feel like the strawberry ones 417 00:13:28,409 --> 00:13:29,741 Are always the funniest. 418 00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:31,476 - Hey, eddie, can I see you in my office? 419 00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:33,678 - Me? Now? 420 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,814 - Yeah, now. Stop being so smug. 421 00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,217 - But I'm not being smug. 422 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,551 Oh, boy. 423 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:44,289 ♪ ♪ 424 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,025 - Eddie, sit down. - Nah, I'ma stand. 425 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,492 - No, please, sit down. Come on. 426 00:13:47,628 --> 00:13:48,827 - No. I'd prefer to stand. 427 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,296 - Please. It's a dostadning thing. 428 00:13:51,432 --> 00:13:52,697 Come on. - [sighs] 429 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:54,499 - Sit down, come on. 430 00:13:54,635 --> 00:13:56,101 [exhales heavily] 431 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,304 I didn't think I'd be this nervous. 432 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,773 [chuckles] okay. 433 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,243 In an attempt to get my affairs in order, 434 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,978 Vicky and I have decided that in the event 435 00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,114 That something should happen to us, 436 00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:14,185 We would be honored if you would be the guardian... 437 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,954 Of our daughters. 438 00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:19,692 [exhales] 439 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,394 I'm being serious. 440 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,596 - Yeah, no, it's incredible. I'm humbled. 441 00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:25,597 - Do you understand the significance 442 00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:26,598 Of what I'm asking? 443 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,999 - Yeah. 444 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,000 - Then what's with the smug face? 445 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,201 - Mm-mm, I'm not smug. 446 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,004 I'm overjoyed. - This is overjoyed? 447 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,206 - That's not how I look. - This is your face. 448 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,809 - That's not how I look. - Okay, eh? 449 00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:39,744 That's exactly how you look. 450 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,412 [alarm blares] - mva. 451 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,815 Engine 24 and rescue... - Oh, gotta roll. 452 00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,550 We'll pick this up later. 453 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,288 - What's wrong with you, you smug piece of shit? 454 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,889 ♪ ♪ 455 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,624 - Damn it. I need to fix my hair again. 456 00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:53,959 The photographer will be here soon. 457 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,894 - Yeah, got time to go to the salon, bro. 458 00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:57,997 [both laugh] 459 00:14:58,699 --> 00:15:00,499 - Hey, hey. Luce, luce, luce. 460 00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,968 Hey, your dad is gonna want to talk to me again. 461 00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:06,838 I cannot accept his dostadning with my face like this. 462 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,507 - Well, at least your dostadning 463 00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:09,841 Was a heartfelt gesture. 464 00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:10,976 He told me a baseball game 465 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,444 Was more important than my birth. 466 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,113 - Yeah, he hated you forever for that one. 467 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,448 He used to cry every time he changed your diapers. 468 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,849 On the flip side, though, 469 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,118 He did give me the tickets to that game. 470 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,652 So thank you very much. 471 00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:22,787 - It's 70-30 now. - What? 472 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,123 I'm so mad right now. 473 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,657 - I actually can't even tell. 474 00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:26,925 - Oh, I am furious. 475 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,593 - Here, let me help. 476 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,530 ♪ ♪ 477 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:33,865 Your face feels like clay. - I know. 478 00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,066 - Okay, hold on, here we go. [face crackling] 479 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,802 Oh, okay. All right. 480 00:15:36,804 --> 00:15:37,936 We're getting a little traction. 481 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,604 - Oh. - Whoa. 482 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,473 - Okay, I feel like I felt my expression change. 483 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,075 - Well... 484 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:45,677 Your face is actually dead. 485 00:15:45,813 --> 00:15:47,146 [dramatic chord] 486 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,481 - Eddie, can we continue our conversation, please? 487 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:50,882 - [sighs] 488 00:15:50,884 --> 00:15:55,821 ♪ ♪ 489 00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:57,956 - Ooh. Hi, ike! 490 00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,558 - Oh. - Hi. 491 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:01,560 - Hey. How's it going? 492 00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,162 Uh, I--sorry. 493 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,365 Uh, guys, this is billie jean, my neighbor, billie jean. 494 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,033 - It's 3:00. 495 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,501 - Oh, yeah! No, no, no. 496 00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:10,969 I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's 3:00. 497 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:14,173 That--because, um, billie jean, wanted to, 498 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,374 Have a tour of the fire station. 499 00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:16,775 She's never been to a fire station before. 500 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:18,377 - Guilty. [both chuckle] 501 00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:19,711 - Okay. Yeah, let's do it. 502 00:16:19,847 --> 00:16:20,979 Um, just right this way. - Oh, okay. 503 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,183 - We can start in here. - Okay. 504 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,451 - Is billie jean his lover? - I don't know. 505 00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,187 It ain't none of my business. 506 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,722 ♪ ♪ 507 00:16:30,858 --> 00:16:32,124 - [exhales heavily] 508 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,126 I know I sprung a big ask on you before, 509 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,128 And I'm sorry about that. 510 00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:38,597 I should have given you time to think. 511 00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,331 - No, no. I'm honored, really. 512 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,333 - Well, it's just that we're friends 513 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,836 And, uh... 514 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,538 Am I catching you at a bad time here? 515 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,073 - Mm-mm. Why? 516 00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,474 - Seems like you don't care about what I'm saying. 517 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,142 - I do. I totally care. 518 00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,812 - All right, well, I'm trying to do a dostadning here, 519 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:54,880 And it seems like you're refusing 520 00:16:54,882 --> 00:16:56,347 My dostadning. 521 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,017 - No, I fully support the dostadning. 522 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,286 I'm the one who suggested the dostadning. 523 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,754 - Well, I'm not gettin' a very supportive vibe. 524 00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,556 Do you not care about my kids? 525 00:17:04,558 --> 00:17:06,625 - I do. I love your kids. 526 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,026 - You know what, eddie? 527 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,094 Don't be sarcastic about someone's kids. 528 00:17:09,230 --> 00:17:11,296 - I'm not. - That's it. 529 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,898 My offer is officially rescinded. 530 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,100 - What? No, terry. Don't rescind it. 531 00:17:15,236 --> 00:17:16,768 - Really? 532 00:17:17,638 --> 00:17:20,972 You know what, from now on, we keep our relationship 533 00:17:20,974 --> 00:17:23,042 Strictly professional, you heartless prick. 534 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,711 - Wait, terry. No, don't be mad. 535 00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:27,378 Te--no, terry. 536 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:28,914 Please come back. Let's talk about it. 537 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,549 I really want to talk about it. 538 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,386 [rock music] 539 00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:36,588 - He didn't just rescind the offer. 540 00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:37,989 He rescinded our friendship. 541 00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:39,925 - I know. I even saw him throw this out. 542 00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,793 - His bfff mug. 543 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:43,128 I gave him this. 544 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,796 It's his second favorite mug. 545 00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,064 How am I supposed to make amends 546 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,265 With my face looking like this? 547 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,133 - Tell him the truth. 548 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,336 - To the tune of $5,000? 549 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,469 No, thank you. 550 00:17:51,605 --> 00:17:53,872 This calls for extreme measures. 551 00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:55,673 Defib time. 552 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:56,875 - Oh, my god. 553 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,344 Uncle eddie, no, no, no, no, no. 554 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:01,479 [aed whines] wait, are you kidding? 555 00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:04,349 - Electricity reverses muscular paralysis. 556 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,284 I need you to zap the shit out of my face. 557 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,953 - I don't think this is a good idea. 558 00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:09,621 - I put it on the lowest setting. 559 00:18:09,623 --> 00:18:10,688 It's gonna be fine. 560 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,689 One time I even used these 561 00:18:11,825 --> 00:18:13,091 To wake up your father. 562 00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,492 There wasn't any lasting damage, so... 563 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,894 - But there was temporary damage? 564 00:18:16,029 --> 00:18:17,095 - You never wondered why there's a gap 565 00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,564 Between you and your sisters? 566 00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,166 - You put it on his nuts? - Yeah, it was hysterical. 567 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,168 We were laughing for days. Let's do this. 568 00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,903 - All right. Fuck it. 569 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:27,439 ♪ ♪ 570 00:18:27,441 --> 00:18:28,974 - Make it count. [aed whines, sizzles] 571 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,643 - Ah! - [groans] 572 00:18:31,645 --> 00:18:33,311 - Oh. [chuckles] 573 00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:37,082 Okay. That's an improvement-ish. 574 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,852 - And that you would even consider me 575 00:18:40,988 --> 00:18:43,855 To be the guardian of your children 576 00:18:43,991 --> 00:18:45,791 Is an honor. 577 00:18:45,926 --> 00:18:48,660 One I will never take lightly. 578 00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,796 - Well, you already did. Then you laughed at me. 579 00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,531 - I never laughed. - First you had your smug face. 580 00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:55,133 Then you looked like you didn't care. 581 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,602 - And do I still look like that? 582 00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:58,203 - You look like you're having a stroke. 583 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,939 - That's because my veins 584 00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:03,008 Are clotted with sadness. 585 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,409 - What are you doing with your face? 586 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,811 - Nothing. 587 00:19:05,946 --> 00:19:09,014 ♪ ♪ 588 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,949 [face crackles] 589 00:19:10,951 --> 00:19:12,217 - It's hard. - No, it's not. 590 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,419 - And your forehead's leaking. - It is? 591 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,222 - [gasps] you got the botox. - No, I didn't. 592 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,556 - Your face is pumped 593 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,092 So full of filler you can't emote. 594 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,760 - Fine. I admit it. 595 00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:23,495 I did do the botox. 596 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:26,498 And that's why you can't tell how much this means to me. 597 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,767 - Well, I'm happy you didn't dismiss me earlier. 598 00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:30,902 But I'm sad you felt the need to inject your face 599 00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:32,438 And look younger. 600 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,973 But then again, I'm happy that you owe me 5,000 bucks. 601 00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:36,241 [laughs] yes! 602 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,376 - That part makes me pretty sad. 603 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,578 But I am genuinely touched 604 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,914 That you've made me the guardian of your children. 605 00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,116 - [chuckles] well, hold on. 606 00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:45,451 I don't know if I can trust my kid 607 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,652 To someone who pumped their face 608 00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:48,119 Full of chemicals for vanity. 609 00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,388 - Well, terry, I think the old age thing 610 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:54,059 Affected me the same way it affected you. 611 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,662 - Hmm. - I'm sorry. 612 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,530 - What, are we hugging? - Yeah. 613 00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:00,932 - Okay. [grunts] 614 00:20:00,934 --> 00:20:02,468 [sighs] all right. 615 00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,869 Okay. [chuckles] 616 00:20:04,004 --> 00:20:07,539 - [sighs] - ow, my shoulder. [groans] 617 00:20:07,675 --> 00:20:08,674 Too hard. 618 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,142 - You know, I would probably cry 619 00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,877 If my tear ducts weren't paralyzed 620 00:20:12,012 --> 00:20:13,745 With frog poison. [knock at door] 621 00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:15,147 - The photographer's here. 622 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,948 - Oh, and I haven't even put my face on. 623 00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:18,750 - And I better take my face off. 624 00:20:18,886 --> 00:20:20,486 - Yeah. Okay. 625 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,087 $5,000. 626 00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,989 [chuckles] 627 00:20:25,559 --> 00:20:26,692 That's a lot of gear, huh? 628 00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:28,360 - What's the deal with those sunglasses? 629 00:20:28,362 --> 00:20:29,495 Are they blue-blockers? 630 00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:32,297 - He looks like german bono. 631 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,632 Oh, granny, need some help? 632 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,434 - No, I got it. - Probie, help him out. 633 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,635 - No, no, I'm good. 634 00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:38,970 - Let me just - no, don't touch-- 635 00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:40,972 Leave it alone. Hey! Argh. 636 00:20:41,108 --> 00:20:42,440 - Oh, well, well, well. 637 00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,176 Granny, what's with the lighting equipment? 638 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,711 - Okay, fine. 639 00:20:45,846 --> 00:20:47,312 White photographers from the department 640 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,647 Don't know how to light black people properly. 641 00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:51,717 So this year I'm gonna make myself look good. 642 00:20:51,852 --> 00:20:53,185 - You said the picture didn't matter. 643 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,853 - It doesn't. 644 00:20:54,855 --> 00:20:56,588 But black lighting does. 645 00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,857 ♪ ♪ 646 00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:00,526 - Oh, honey, new hairdo for the picture, huh? 647 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:01,793 Looks great. 648 00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,595 [whispering] always tell them they look great. 649 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:05,197 - Well, I tried to use that foreign blow-dryer 650 00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:07,399 Mom got me, and it just kept zapping me. 651 00:21:07,535 --> 00:21:09,201 - You look like simba. I love it. 652 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,203 - [growls] 653 00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,271 I just wanted to look good. 654 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,472 - Aw, poor baby. 655 00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,608 Just so you know, for these pictures, 656 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:18,143 We wear our hats. 657 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,277 - What? - We do? 658 00:21:19,413 --> 00:21:20,678 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. 659 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,615 - I spent $50 on this hair, chief. 660 00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:27,352 ♪ ♪ 661 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:30,088 - Hey-o. - Hey, guys. 662 00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:31,623 - Where'd you get the makeup? 663 00:21:31,759 --> 00:21:33,491 - Okay, my friend billie jean is a makeup artist. 664 00:21:33,627 --> 00:21:35,894 She did a little... - I thought she was your lover. 665 00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:37,295 - Uh, no, mickleberry. 666 00:21:37,431 --> 00:21:38,764 Billie jean is not my lover. 667 00:21:38,899 --> 00:21:40,232 She's just a girl 668 00:21:40,234 --> 00:21:41,499 Who happens to be a makeup artist. 669 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,034 - What kind exactly? 670 00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:44,970 - I don't know. I think, like, lots of kind-- 671 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:47,172 Like, professional kinds. 672 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,775 I think she works at a funeral parlor too. 673 00:21:49,910 --> 00:21:51,509 - Ah, that explains it. 674 00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,378 - You know, just because it's a death photo 675 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:55,513 Doesn't mean you have to look dead. 676 00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:58,584 - Well, I'm glad no one cares how they look for their photo. 677 00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:01,319 [laughter] 678 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,456 ♪ ♪ 679 00:22:04,592 --> 00:22:06,091 - Make love to the camera. 680 00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:10,128 [camera shutter snapping] 681 00:22:10,130 --> 00:22:11,797 - There's my girl. 682 00:22:12,933 --> 00:22:14,532 Here you go. 683 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,334 - "they use swine language"? 684 00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:18,336 I don't get it. 685 00:22:18,338 --> 00:22:19,404 - Okay, that should be a good one. 686 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,807 - You know what? I like this one. 687 00:22:21,942 --> 00:22:24,476 Thanks. 688 00:22:24,612 --> 00:22:25,811 Please press the lighting board cue 689 00:22:25,946 --> 00:22:27,012 Before you take the picture, all right? 690 00:22:27,147 --> 00:22:28,781 - Yeah. 691 00:22:30,884 --> 00:22:31,817 - [groans] 692 00:22:31,952 --> 00:22:33,752 - Aw, dad. 693 00:22:33,887 --> 00:22:36,288 - Looks sexy, chiefy. 694 00:22:36,290 --> 00:22:42,461 ♪ ♪ 695 00:22:43,964 --> 00:22:45,563 - Hey, eddie, mark your calendar. 696 00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:48,033 Two tickets, mariners-yankees, behind home plate 697 00:22:48,168 --> 00:22:49,234 For me and my little buddy. 698 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,235 - Aw. 699 00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,569 Oh, me and you, skipper? 700 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,171 - Well, you know, I had 5k to burn, 701 00:22:53,173 --> 00:22:54,772 So I figured what the heck? - Yeah, you're welcome. 702 00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:57,309 - Hey-o. Hey, pictures came in. 703 00:22:57,311 --> 00:22:59,044 - Hey, all right. - Oh, cool. 704 00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:00,779 - Crystal. Mcconky. 705 00:23:00,914 --> 00:23:02,247 Penisi. Mcconky. 706 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:05,383 Look at that, in order. - All right, death photo day. 707 00:23:05,519 --> 00:23:07,385 - This was the best choice? - Looks good. 708 00:23:07,521 --> 00:23:09,787 - I really can't die until I take another one. 709 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:12,590 - At least I'm not too dark. [chuckling] 710 00:23:12,592 --> 00:23:13,992 - That's kind of cool. 711 00:23:13,994 --> 00:23:15,593 I look a little bit sleepy or something. 712 00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:17,329 - [chuckles] - you look like a dead mime. 713 00:23:17,331 --> 00:23:18,664 - Oh, "what language do pigs speak?" 714 00:23:18,798 --> 00:23:21,934 "swine language." [laughs] 715 00:23:22,870 --> 00:23:24,736 - [laughs] I remember sucking that stick. 716 00:23:24,872 --> 00:23:27,339 - Was it strawberry? [chuckles] of course it was. 717 00:23:27,475 --> 00:23:29,007 'cause they're always the funniest. 718 00:23:29,143 --> 00:23:30,876 - Hey, at least I look young. 719 00:23:31,011 --> 00:23:32,478 I'm definitely getting botox again. 720 00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:33,611 - Let's see yours. - Hey, hey, let's see it. 721 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:34,746 - No. - Da-da-da-da. 722 00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,482 - I just had a bad hair day. 723 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:37,949 - [laughs] - whoa. 724 00:23:38,085 --> 00:23:39,551 [all chuckle] 725 00:23:39,553 --> 00:23:40,886 - Is that hair attached to your hat or something? 726 00:23:41,021 --> 00:23:42,354 - Oh. 727 00:23:42,490 --> 00:23:43,489 - This is actually the best photo 728 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:45,423 I've ever taken, look at that. 729 00:23:45,559 --> 00:23:46,825 Eh? - Yeah, chiefy, noyce. 730 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,894 - Aw, dad, you look so handsome. 731 00:23:49,029 --> 00:23:51,563 Look at that. [sighs] 732 00:23:54,368 --> 00:23:56,168 Who's hugh janus? 733 00:23:56,303 --> 00:23:57,836 Hugh janus. 734 00:23:57,838 --> 00:23:59,505 Hugh janus? Hugh jan-- 735 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,573 Hugh janus. - Hugh janus? 736 00:24:01,575 --> 00:24:04,776 - Huge anus? Who did that? 737 00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:06,778 - What, are we hugging? - Yeah. 738 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,246 - [grunts] 739 00:24:08,382 --> 00:24:09,748 [sighs] all right. 740 00:24:11,318 --> 00:24:13,852 [groaning] oh, my shoulder. 741 00:24:13,854 --> 00:24:15,621 Oh, god. 742 00:24:16,256 --> 00:24:17,322 - It was me. 743 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:18,656 [laughter] 744 00:24:18,792 --> 00:24:19,925 - Eddie! 745 00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:22,327 - He really got you.