1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,835 Dude stuck upside-down in the vent of a condom truck? 2 00:00:01,859 --> 00:00:03,206 No. This is a first. 3 00:00:03,231 --> 00:00:04,343 Yeah, so I just talked to that girl 4 00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:05,481 in the pink dress back there. 5 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:06,840 She and this guy were in a car, 6 00:00:06,865 --> 00:00:08,510 about to have sex, but they didn't have a condom. 7 00:00:08,534 --> 00:00:10,827 So he saw the truck and tried to climb on top 8 00:00:10,852 --> 00:00:13,022 and it just rolled down the hill until it hit this tree. 9 00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,817 Truck must've had some kind of special protection 10 00:00:14,841 --> 00:00:16,481 to prevent an accident. 11 00:00:16,732 --> 00:00:18,827 I guess that explains all the rubberneckers. 12 00:00:19,878 --> 00:00:22,036 We need to get this dick out before he causes more damage. 13 00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:24,199 This whole thing is really inconceivable. 14 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,003 Come on, probee, let's quit with the ribbing. 15 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:27,614 I bet you he's, uh... 16 00:00:28,911 --> 00:00:30,347 Come on, man. 17 00:00:30,484 --> 00:00:32,307 - I bet... - This is all you, Ike. 18 00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,210 - You got it, baby. - Oh, you're waiting for me? 19 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,569 I, uh, I don't have one. 20 00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:37,430 Well, if you try hard enough, it'll come. 21 00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,454 All right. Let's go. Let's bust a nut. 22 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,383 Let me out of here! 23 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,704 This truck just spilled its load. 24 00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:47,407 I guess that's where the rubbers meet the road. 25 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,820 Come on! Somebody! 26 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,005 - Still nothing. - Ike, it's condom puns. 27 00:00:53,030 --> 00:00:54,296 I'm so sorry, guys. 28 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,239 - Just work. - Uh. I'm gonna... 29 00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,330 It's disappointing. 30 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,427 Congratulations! It's a boy! 31 00:01:01,190 --> 00:01:02,911 There you go, sir. 32 00:01:02,936 --> 00:01:04,286 Dust him off. 33 00:01:04,311 --> 00:01:06,060 All right fellas, we got this all wrapped up. 34 00:01:06,084 --> 00:01:08,085 Whoa! Hey! 35 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,443 - What? - "Wrapped up." 36 00:01:09,468 --> 00:01:11,025 - What do you mean? - Come on. 37 00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:13,209 - Come on, guys. - Honestly, I'm ultrasensitive today. 38 00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:14,234 - Oh! - There's one! 39 00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:15,984 - That's gotta be one. - One what? 40 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,072 I can't tell if he's serious. 41 00:01:17,096 --> 00:01:19,822 One what? Wait, guys! What? 42 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,249 Guys, what? 43 00:01:38,617 --> 00:01:41,327 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 44 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,771 At long last, your party arrives 45 00:01:46,796 --> 00:01:50,336 at the lowest level of the lost mine of the Androsphinx. 46 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:53,098 The area is eerily quiet. 47 00:01:53,123 --> 00:01:55,951 There's a stench of dead creatures all around. 48 00:01:55,976 --> 00:01:57,896 You come to a locked wooden door. 49 00:01:57,921 --> 00:01:59,090 What do you do? 50 00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:00,155 - Let's break it down. - Yes. 51 00:02:00,179 --> 00:02:01,929 - Yeah. Break it down. - What do you use? 52 00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:03,398 - An ax. - Agreed. 53 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,661 As you deliberate, 54 00:02:04,686 --> 00:02:07,322 a gas ogre comes bursting through the door 55 00:02:07,347 --> 00:02:09,817 and lets out a grotesque roar. 56 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,317 Hey! 57 00:02:11,342 --> 00:02:13,106 That squirrel you ran over on Tuesday is still out there. 58 00:02:13,130 --> 00:02:15,371 - Go clean it up! - I didn't run it over, you ran it over. 59 00:02:15,395 --> 00:02:17,142 Don't you throw me under the bus. You ran over it. 60 00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:19,447 - You go clean it up. - Oh, man. 61 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,257 Myawani, clean up that squirrel. 62 00:02:21,282 --> 00:02:23,458 Wait, why do I have to clean up the squirrel? 63 00:02:23,483 --> 00:02:26,708 In the interest of saving time, dungeon master, 64 00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:29,658 I could go out and clean up said squirrel 65 00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:33,488 while you prepare for us to murder this gas ogre. 66 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,827 That would be wonderful. 67 00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:36,265 If it pleases dungeon master. 68 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,657 Thanks, Ike. I will remember that. 69 00:02:38,682 --> 00:02:40,009 Chief, Chief. Terry, Terry, Terry. 70 00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:42,147 Hey, where we going for your daughter's graduation dinner? 71 00:02:42,171 --> 00:02:43,378 Oh, Bleeder's Steakhouse. 72 00:02:43,403 --> 00:02:45,073 - Really? Bleeder's? - Yeah. 73 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,576 Isn't that your favorite restaurant? 74 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:48,248 Yeah, baby. Prime rib. 75 00:02:48,273 --> 00:02:49,946 Yeah, but it's your daughter's dinner. 76 00:02:49,971 --> 00:02:52,123 I know her first choice isn't Bleeder's. 77 00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,277 Well, I'm paying, so I'm choosing. 78 00:02:54,302 --> 00:02:56,285 Terry, the name is unappetizing. 79 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,526 What do you want me to do? The owner's name is Jimmy Bleeder. 80 00:02:58,550 --> 00:02:59,880 Yeah, but it's gross. 81 00:02:59,905 --> 00:03:01,849 So you want the guy to change the name of his restaurant 82 00:03:01,873 --> 00:03:03,033 to make you more comfortable? 83 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,227 I am certain you know what I mean. 84 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,662 No, I don't. The name of the place is Bleeder's. 85 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:09,116 Bleeder's Steakhouse. 86 00:03:09,141 --> 00:03:11,191 That's where we're going. And I'm paying. 87 00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:15,138 - Oh, shit. It's the commissioner. - Why would he come unannounced? 88 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,630 Okay. I don't know. I don't know. 89 00:03:27,469 --> 00:03:28,797 Hello, Commissioner. 90 00:03:29,151 --> 00:03:30,653 Hello, Dad. 91 00:03:31,771 --> 00:03:34,139 Inside. Office. Now. 92 00:03:39,127 --> 00:03:40,461 Uh... 93 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:41,859 Sit down. 94 00:03:42,382 --> 00:03:43,638 About a week ago, 95 00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:45,635 a guy broke in to a condom truck. 96 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,550 - Rescued him. - He's suing the city for 125 mil. 97 00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:49,804 What? Guy was a thief. 98 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:51,092 He's not gonna win. 99 00:03:51,117 --> 00:03:52,340 But here's the thing. 100 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,660 When there's a lawsuit, the incident report goes public. 101 00:03:55,685 --> 00:03:58,714 "Condom truck extrication incident report 102 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,316 "by Edward Penisi, Jr. 103 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,923 "It was a wet and stormy night. 104 00:04:03,948 --> 00:04:06,338 "A raincoat was needed. 105 00:04:06,363 --> 00:04:09,491 "Luckily, we came upon 106 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:10,951 a condom truck." 107 00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:13,116 Blah-blah-blah. "Sticky situation." 108 00:04:13,141 --> 00:04:14,342 Blah-blah-blah. 109 00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:16,943 "Erected a ladder." Blah-blah-blah. 110 00:04:16,968 --> 00:04:18,733 "Penetrated the back door." 111 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,838 Blah. Blah. Blah. 112 00:04:20,863 --> 00:04:22,173 Boy, that really sings, huh? 113 00:04:26,826 --> 00:04:28,746 The mayor's up my ass! 114 00:04:28,771 --> 00:04:30,579 Because you're my son 115 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,007 and you're my son-in-law, 116 00:04:32,032 --> 00:04:34,322 and when they read this thing, 117 00:04:34,347 --> 00:04:37,746 the TFD is going to look like a bunch of idiots! 118 00:04:38,580 --> 00:04:39,954 I told you a million times 119 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:42,125 not to screw around on your reports. 120 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:43,150 You read it, right? 121 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:44,559 I did, but I thought it was a joke, 122 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:45,677 'cause you're always joking. 123 00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:47,980 If you thought it was a joke, why did you submit it? 124 00:04:48,005 --> 00:04:49,333 Unless you weren't doing your job. 125 00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:50,984 It's not my job to rein in my captain. 126 00:04:51,556 --> 00:04:52,842 Enough! 127 00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:55,074 I pulled a bunch of reports from "A" Shift. 128 00:04:55,099 --> 00:04:57,488 They all stink! 129 00:04:57,513 --> 00:04:59,982 Lucy's are actually fantastic, 130 00:05:00,007 --> 00:05:02,525 but Ike Crystal, he writes like a third-grader. 131 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,019 Granville Smith, 132 00:05:04,044 --> 00:05:05,979 guy thinks he's F. Scott Fitzgerald. 133 00:05:06,004 --> 00:05:07,300 Andy... 134 00:05:07,325 --> 00:05:09,326 My... mayor... mywa... 135 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,932 - Myawani. - He hasn't done his reports 136 00:05:11,957 --> 00:05:13,250 in a month! 137 00:05:13,275 --> 00:05:16,300 The punishment: everyone but Lucy 138 00:05:16,325 --> 00:05:18,993 will redo their reports for the last two weeks. 139 00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:20,441 - Oh, come on. - All of them? 140 00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:21,560 Yeah. All of them. 141 00:05:21,585 --> 00:05:22,886 Okay, okay. 142 00:05:22,911 --> 00:05:24,680 Thank you very much, sir. 143 00:05:24,705 --> 00:05:26,340 I'm not done. 144 00:05:27,031 --> 00:05:29,971 What's this about a graduation dinner tonight? 145 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,755 Uh... it's happening? 146 00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:34,292 Vicky told me about it this morning. 147 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,569 You didn't invite me. 148 00:05:36,594 --> 00:05:38,275 The grandfather. 149 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:39,771 That's weird. I sent out an e-vite. 150 00:05:39,796 --> 00:05:41,350 - Did you not get the e-vite? - I did not. 151 00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,289 Maybe because I don't know what an e-vite is. 152 00:05:43,314 --> 00:05:44,687 How about an invite? 153 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,714 Like in my fucking mailbox 154 00:05:46,739 --> 00:05:48,340 or in my fucking ear. 155 00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,282 Maybe check your spam folder? 156 00:05:50,307 --> 00:05:52,527 Well. I'll be there. 157 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:53,738 And I'm paying. 158 00:05:53,763 --> 00:05:55,043 No, no, it's my daughter's dinner. 159 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,543 - I'm paying. - I'm the patriarch. I pay. 160 00:05:57,568 --> 00:06:00,168 I'm the patriarch of my daughter. So I'm paying. 161 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,587 I'm paying. Now get out. 162 00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:02,780 I gotta make a phone call. 163 00:06:02,805 --> 00:06:04,932 - This is my office. - It was mine first. 164 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,388 Why you gotta throw me under the bus? 165 00:06:07,412 --> 00:06:09,236 - You did it first. - I hate it when he's here. 166 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:10,376 Will you stick up for yourself? 167 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,349 - He neuters you every time. - He didn't neuter me. 168 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:13,450 He just kicked you out of your office. 169 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:14,786 - That's a neutering. - No, it's not! 170 00:06:14,810 --> 00:06:16,318 Hey, Terry. I'm gonna go to my office. 171 00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:17,342 What are you gonna do? 172 00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:18,486 - Fuck you. - Yeah. 173 00:06:20,148 --> 00:06:22,432 As you open the gas ogre's treasure chest, 174 00:06:22,457 --> 00:06:25,226 the party member in the rear of the formation 175 00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,195 - finds something. - That's me. I'm in the rear. 176 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,922 Yes, Ike the Sweet. 177 00:06:28,947 --> 00:06:30,464 And you find... 178 00:06:30,489 --> 00:06:32,025 A Helmet of Telekinesis. 179 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:33,385 - Oh, sweet! - Oh... 180 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,579 I see the future, right? 181 00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:35,624 I guess it pays 182 00:06:35,649 --> 00:06:37,945 to clean up the dungeon master's dead squirrel, huh? 183 00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,841 Currying favors for the dungeon master 184 00:06:39,866 --> 00:06:41,102 is always a good idea. 185 00:06:41,127 --> 00:06:42,997 Attention on deck! Commissioner Penisi. 186 00:06:43,022 --> 00:06:46,159 - Hi! - Look at this beautiful girl. 187 00:06:46,184 --> 00:06:47,676 Aw, hi, Gampy. 188 00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,237 That's "Commissioner Gampy" to you. 189 00:06:49,262 --> 00:06:51,520 At ease, men. Sit. 190 00:06:52,681 --> 00:06:54,668 - What's this? - Dungeons & Dragons, sir. 191 00:06:54,693 --> 00:06:55,925 Is it a board game? 192 00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,451 Kind of, yeah. Right. 193 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,592 Funny-looking dice. 194 00:06:58,617 --> 00:06:59,664 Is it a gambling game? 195 00:06:59,689 --> 00:07:01,398 Oh, no, no, no. Chief banned gambling, so... 196 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:02,490 No gambling. 197 00:07:02,515 --> 00:07:04,733 You banned gambling 198 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,794 in my station? 199 00:07:06,819 --> 00:07:08,420 - It was becoming a problem... - Terry. 200 00:07:08,445 --> 00:07:09,837 I'm lifting the ban. 201 00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,719 - With all due respect, sir... - I'm the commissioner. 202 00:07:11,743 --> 00:07:14,613 I am unbanning gambling in this station 203 00:07:14,638 --> 00:07:16,777 for the rest of historical time. 204 00:07:16,802 --> 00:07:18,095 Start gambling! 205 00:07:18,629 --> 00:07:20,965 What are you looking at him for? Now! 206 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:22,308 - Yeah. - I got 30 on me. 207 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,833 Hey, place your bets, guys. 208 00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:25,003 - That's fine. - I don't know, man. 209 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,387 - Happy gambling. - Thank you, sir. 210 00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:27,511 Nice to see you again. 211 00:07:27,536 --> 00:07:28,670 Okay, you know what? 212 00:07:28,695 --> 00:07:30,091 I hate to rain on your parade, 213 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,318 but per the commish, 214 00:07:31,343 --> 00:07:33,045 the incident reports are subpar. 215 00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,914 So everyone except Lucy has to redo their reports 216 00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:36,940 from the last two weeks. 217 00:07:36,965 --> 00:07:38,397 - Whoo-whoo-whoo! - But Chief, man, 218 00:07:38,422 --> 00:07:39,731 I worked my ass off on mine. 219 00:07:39,756 --> 00:07:41,257 Yours read like you're trying to get a book deal. 220 00:07:41,281 --> 00:07:42,774 I want 'em on my desk today. 221 00:07:42,798 --> 00:07:43,957 Kay, Chief. 222 00:07:43,982 --> 00:07:46,045 I guess we have to save this game for another day. 223 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,070 Well, hold on. 224 00:07:47,095 --> 00:07:49,487 Since I don't have anything to do, I can help with your reports. 225 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:50,694 Much obliged. 226 00:07:50,719 --> 00:07:53,855 I guess it does pay to please the dungeon master. 227 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,390 That's right. And don't you forget it. 228 00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:10,650 Boop. 229 00:08:12,281 --> 00:08:14,031 Campground's in flames, 230 00:08:14,056 --> 00:08:16,837 and I'm searching RVs. They're on fire. 231 00:08:17,431 --> 00:08:19,304 Smoke everywhere. 232 00:08:19,329 --> 00:08:20,764 Well, I ain't leaving. 233 00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:22,280 That's when I hear, 234 00:08:22,305 --> 00:08:24,141 "Help. Help." 235 00:08:24,898 --> 00:08:27,154 It's three little kids. 236 00:08:27,179 --> 00:08:28,948 He kicked you out of your office. 237 00:08:28,973 --> 00:08:30,641 And yet, here he is in the break room. 238 00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:32,763 - Does that piss you off? - Nope. Not at all. 239 00:08:32,788 --> 00:08:36,625 And that's when I see the propane tank on fire. 240 00:08:37,493 --> 00:08:39,295 I don't think. 241 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,391 I jump on those kids, 242 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:42,758 and boom. 243 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,418 My turnout was eviscerated, 244 00:08:44,443 --> 00:08:48,104 my back was opened up to the spine, but... 245 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:53,132 I saved those kids. 246 00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:54,517 Wow. 247 00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,455 Goosebump Olympics over here, right? 248 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,963 No, no. 249 00:08:58,547 --> 00:09:01,364 I was just doing my job. 250 00:09:01,389 --> 00:09:03,112 - Wow. - It's unbelievable. 251 00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:04,282 The fire gets bigger every time. 252 00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:06,959 "My spine. You can see my spine." 253 00:09:06,984 --> 00:09:09,080 If we could see your spine, you'd be dead. 254 00:09:09,105 --> 00:09:10,707 Show 'em your medals, Gampy. 255 00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:14,307 Hey, Terry. You're not doing anything. 256 00:09:14,332 --> 00:09:15,785 Why don't you leave your lemonade stand 257 00:09:15,809 --> 00:09:17,501 and grab the beef out of the oven. 258 00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:19,017 Don't do it. 259 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:20,265 Yes, sir. 260 00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:21,338 Big mistake. 261 00:09:21,363 --> 00:09:25,159 So this is Medal of Valor, Washington State. 262 00:09:25,184 --> 00:09:27,997 National Firefighters Association. 263 00:09:28,022 --> 00:09:31,150 - Firefighter of the Year 1975. - There's no potholders. 264 00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:33,860 Presidential Medal of Valor, President Ford. 265 00:09:33,885 --> 00:09:35,434 You have a Presidential Medal of Valor? 266 00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,459 Two, actually. That one's from Reagan. 267 00:09:37,484 --> 00:09:38,817 Oh, that's hot! 268 00:09:38,842 --> 00:09:40,636 - Come on! - You okay, Chief? 269 00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:42,487 Potholders. 270 00:09:42,722 --> 00:09:45,315 Okay... forget... Find a potholder... 271 00:09:46,650 --> 00:09:48,168 - Careful... - What? 272 00:09:48,193 --> 00:09:50,095 Whoa! 273 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,626 Beef tetra-Penisi. Dig in. 274 00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:53,969 This is my favorite thing he makes. 275 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:56,542 Hey, uh, what happened to your game? 276 00:09:56,567 --> 00:09:57,759 Oh, we have to finish these reports. 277 00:09:57,783 --> 00:09:59,579 Chief says they are due at the end of the day. 278 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:02,771 No, they don't have to be done today. 279 00:10:02,796 --> 00:10:05,465 Take your time. Play your game. 280 00:10:06,045 --> 00:10:08,587 Oh! And remember to gamble. 281 00:10:09,445 --> 00:10:10,914 I love you, Gampy. 282 00:10:10,939 --> 00:10:12,354 - He's so good. - He's like a superhero, right? 283 00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:13,616 - I know, right? - Hey, hey. 284 00:10:13,641 --> 00:10:15,959 - I want those reports EOD. - Didn't you hear the commish? 285 00:10:15,984 --> 00:10:17,145 He said that we don't have to do them right away. 286 00:10:17,169 --> 00:10:18,270 I said EOD. 287 00:10:18,295 --> 00:10:20,298 Terry, it's lunchtime. Come on. 288 00:10:20,323 --> 00:10:21,393 EOD! 289 00:10:21,418 --> 00:10:22,681 - Okay, okay. - Chief! 290 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,269 Whew... 291 00:10:28,752 --> 00:10:30,038 Whence last we played, 292 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,406 Ike had found the Helmet of Telekinesis. 293 00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:35,162 But Lucia has also found an item. 294 00:10:35,187 --> 00:10:37,141 - Nice! - Hold up, hold up, hold up. 295 00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:39,491 Why is it when people get you things or kiss your ass, 296 00:10:39,516 --> 00:10:40,584 they get something? 297 00:10:40,609 --> 00:10:42,512 - That's cheating! - Purely coincidence. 298 00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:44,015 Well, it don't feel like coincidence. 299 00:10:44,039 --> 00:10:45,943 It's just the roll of the dice, Granny. 300 00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:48,009 Oh, look. I believe it's your turn. 301 00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:49,269 Okay. 302 00:10:49,294 --> 00:10:50,762 I want to search for secret doors. 303 00:10:50,787 --> 00:10:51,998 - Yes. - Eh? 304 00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:55,224 Oh! Unfortunately, a grick was hiding in the corner 305 00:10:55,249 --> 00:10:56,868 and attacked Grandolph, 306 00:10:56,893 --> 00:10:58,295 killing him instantly. 307 00:10:58,923 --> 00:11:00,102 That's bullshit, man! 308 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,945 - You're corrupt! - No! Bye! 309 00:11:01,970 --> 00:11:03,081 Here's a little advice. 310 00:11:03,106 --> 00:11:05,560 Lucy is one level away from a resurrection spell. 311 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:07,855 Maybe if you finish my reports... 312 00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,310 I can speed that up. 313 00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:11,693 That's kind of an abuse of power. 314 00:11:11,717 --> 00:11:13,576 - Kinda is. - That's an abuse of power? 315 00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:15,035 - Kinda, I mean... - Ike! 316 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,595 I would love 317 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:19,868 a Le Pew sparkling water. 318 00:11:19,893 --> 00:11:20,957 No, I'm not gonna... 319 00:11:20,982 --> 00:11:22,325 You're two feet away from the... Don't, don't! 320 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,551 Don't! Don't touch my card. 321 00:11:23,576 --> 00:11:26,239 I'm going, okay? Stop! Don't touch it. 322 00:11:29,087 --> 00:11:30,420 Hey, Junior! 323 00:11:30,445 --> 00:11:32,247 Junior, come here, come here, come here. 324 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,051 Look what I found hiding in Terry's closet. 325 00:11:35,076 --> 00:11:37,593 That's every Penisi ever stationed here. 326 00:11:37,618 --> 00:11:39,219 - That's me, of course. - Yeah. 327 00:11:39,244 --> 00:11:40,912 Your grandpa, Giuseppe. 328 00:11:40,937 --> 00:11:43,108 That's Mario before him, 329 00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:44,339 Luigi, 330 00:11:44,364 --> 00:11:46,174 his dad, Geppetto, 331 00:11:46,199 --> 00:11:50,123 and your great-great-great-great-grandpa, Bosco. 332 00:11:50,148 --> 00:11:52,070 - Good looking bunch of guys. - They're all right. 333 00:11:52,094 --> 00:11:54,255 You know, you were conceived on this desk. 334 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,615 No, Dad, I didn't know that. 335 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,009 It was your mom's idea, may she rest in peace. 336 00:11:58,034 --> 00:11:59,553 You ever have sex on this desk? 337 00:11:59,578 --> 00:12:01,277 Yeah, I did. Recently, actually. 338 00:12:01,302 --> 00:12:02,914 - Good height. - Right? 339 00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,574 - Yeah. - Yeah, you see? 340 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,607 That's why you should be chief. 341 00:12:06,632 --> 00:12:08,261 - Come on. - Terry... 342 00:12:08,286 --> 00:12:10,121 he would never have sex on this desk. 343 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,877 Well, he's married to your daughter, my sister. 344 00:12:11,901 --> 00:12:14,752 You know what I mean. I mean, Terry's soft. 345 00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:16,646 You're more of a chief than he is. 346 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:18,128 - Okay. - You're smarter than him. 347 00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:19,288 - Yeah. - You're funnier. 348 00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:20,513 - Yes. - You're better-looking. 349 00:12:20,538 --> 00:12:21,975 - You're more charming. - Definitely. 350 00:12:21,999 --> 00:12:25,669 You have the heart of a chief, son. 351 00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:27,861 I see greatness in you. 352 00:12:27,886 --> 00:12:29,646 - You do? - Someday... 353 00:12:29,865 --> 00:12:32,501 This will be yours. 354 00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,421 My precious... 355 00:12:35,446 --> 00:12:37,323 He's been disrespecting me since day one. 356 00:12:37,348 --> 00:12:38,483 Remember at our wedding 357 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,220 when he got rid of the chicken alternative I suggested 358 00:12:40,244 --> 00:12:41,655 because he wanted everyone to eat beef? 359 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,227 It's a generational thing. 360 00:12:43,252 --> 00:12:45,077 He calls chicken "girl meat." 361 00:12:45,102 --> 00:12:47,239 - People like options at weddings. - He doesn't. 362 00:12:47,264 --> 00:12:48,532 And he was paying. 363 00:12:48,557 --> 00:12:49,640 That's a whole other thing. 364 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,910 - The paying. I'm sick of it. - He is a grandpa. 365 00:12:51,935 --> 00:12:54,485 It makes him feel like he's still running the house. 366 00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:56,139 It's not like he kicked you out of your office 367 00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:57,230 or anything. 368 00:12:57,255 --> 00:12:58,997 Okay. I gotta go. Love you. 369 00:13:03,685 --> 00:13:05,852 Hey, Granny. How are my reports going? 370 00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:08,118 I'm making progress. 371 00:13:08,143 --> 00:13:10,119 Oh, cool, cool. Heh. 372 00:13:10,738 --> 00:13:12,622 Let me see what you got. 373 00:13:13,221 --> 00:13:14,807 It's a little wordy. 374 00:13:14,832 --> 00:13:16,936 It doesn't really sound like me, but... 375 00:13:16,961 --> 00:13:18,521 maybe you can take another whack at it? 376 00:13:18,546 --> 00:13:19,751 "Maybe you can do it yourself. 377 00:13:19,775 --> 00:13:21,235 Huh. Neh. Heh." 378 00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:23,507 Maybe I could. 379 00:13:23,532 --> 00:13:25,700 But maybe Grandolph's resurrection 380 00:13:25,725 --> 00:13:28,274 hits a couple of unforeseen speed bumps. 381 00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:31,761 I'm just kidding. 382 00:13:31,786 --> 00:13:33,890 I'm sure the resurrection will be fine. 383 00:13:34,052 --> 00:13:36,120 But just do a good job, okay? 384 00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:39,493 - Okay? - Okay. 385 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,730 You can say it like me, if you want. 386 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:42,207 Mm-kay? 387 00:13:42,232 --> 00:13:44,530 Huh. You don't want to imitate me now? 388 00:13:44,555 --> 00:13:46,101 That's strange. 389 00:13:47,571 --> 00:13:49,615 - Mm-kay? - Okay! 390 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,208 Not "okay." 391 00:13:52,552 --> 00:13:53,919 Mm-kay. 392 00:13:55,719 --> 00:13:58,187 I found these jammed in your closet. 393 00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,839 That Durabran girl is hot! 394 00:14:00,864 --> 00:14:03,009 And the "wake up your wife" thing, 395 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:04,449 it's hysterical! 396 00:14:04,474 --> 00:14:06,176 I always thought it was funny. 397 00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:08,003 By the way, your life would be a lot easier 398 00:14:08,028 --> 00:14:10,906 if Eddie, Jr. wasn't there to undermine you all the time. 399 00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:12,332 You think the crew respects you 400 00:14:12,357 --> 00:14:14,990 when he tells fat jokes to your face? 401 00:14:15,015 --> 00:14:18,124 No. And did you know he screws on your desk? 402 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:19,419 Screws what? Women? 403 00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:21,613 No, no. He screws furniture together. 404 00:14:21,638 --> 00:14:23,297 - Yes, women! - Who did he screw? 405 00:14:23,322 --> 00:14:24,456 He wouldn't say. 406 00:14:24,481 --> 00:14:26,339 But talk about insubordination. 407 00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:28,063 God. I don't believe it. 408 00:14:28,088 --> 00:14:29,589 He's disgusting! 409 00:14:29,614 --> 00:14:32,376 But you, I see greatness in you. 410 00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:34,491 You can be commissioner someday... 411 00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:36,836 if Eddie, Jr. doesn't drag you down with him. 412 00:14:36,861 --> 00:14:38,526 And about the bill tonight? 413 00:14:39,013 --> 00:14:40,799 - You can pay. - I can? 414 00:14:40,824 --> 00:14:42,809 - Absolutely. - Thanks, Commissioner. 415 00:14:43,079 --> 00:14:44,374 Call me "Dad." 416 00:14:44,399 --> 00:14:46,368 Okay! Dad. 417 00:14:47,951 --> 00:14:49,563 - Great. - See you tonight, son. 418 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:50,922 That's great. 419 00:14:54,132 --> 00:14:56,229 'Sup, my nerds. Guess what? 420 00:14:56,410 --> 00:14:57,744 I finished your reports. 421 00:14:57,769 --> 00:14:59,709 Your timing is excellent, Granny, 422 00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:02,704 because Lucia has reached level five. 423 00:15:02,729 --> 00:15:05,586 And I would like to resurrect Grandolph. 424 00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:07,684 Oh, yes, and thank you. 425 00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:10,545 This spell will consume a diamond 426 00:15:10,570 --> 00:15:12,762 worth 500 gold pieces. 427 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,818 I have such a diamond, Dungeon Master. 428 00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:19,372 I submit this diamond for Grandolph's life. 429 00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:21,473 Grandolph's soul... 430 00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:23,964 Can you hear me? 431 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,926 Yes... I... can... 432 00:15:26,951 --> 00:15:29,922 Are you willing to rejoin your body? 433 00:15:29,947 --> 00:15:32,845 Yes, Dungeon Master... 434 00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:35,407 Grandolph's wounds close. 435 00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,070 - He lives! - Yeah! 436 00:15:37,095 --> 00:15:39,049 Oh, baby! 437 00:15:39,074 --> 00:15:40,399 Do a dance of joy. 438 00:15:42,388 --> 00:15:43,753 Come again? 439 00:15:43,778 --> 00:15:45,697 Entertain me with a dance. 440 00:15:45,722 --> 00:15:47,248 Just get it over with. 441 00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:49,735 Yes, yes. 442 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,095 Ellen hands, please, Ellen hands. 443 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:53,335 More Ellen. 444 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:54,906 Yes, Granny. Push the fruit. 445 00:15:54,931 --> 00:15:57,093 Ah, yes, yes. Push that fruit away. 446 00:15:57,118 --> 00:15:59,372 Bountiful harvest. There's too much fruit. 447 00:15:59,397 --> 00:16:01,328 - Push it away. - That's really weird, man. 448 00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:03,432 Push the fruit! 449 00:16:03,457 --> 00:16:04,807 Dear God. Mercy. 450 00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:06,752 Playing Doorbells & Dingleberries? 451 00:16:06,777 --> 00:16:07,959 Oh! 452 00:16:08,392 --> 00:16:09,797 No, it's, uh... 453 00:16:09,822 --> 00:16:11,155 It's Dungeons & Dragons, sir. 454 00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,340 - Did you bet on it? - Oh, no. 455 00:16:12,365 --> 00:16:14,071 - Still no gambling here. - God damn it! 456 00:16:14,096 --> 00:16:16,931 I said gamble! That's what firefighters do! 457 00:16:16,974 --> 00:16:18,109 We gamble! 458 00:16:18,134 --> 00:16:19,481 And if you're not gambling, 459 00:16:19,506 --> 00:16:20,680 then you're not playing! 460 00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:21,730 Hey, what's going on in here? 461 00:16:21,754 --> 00:16:24,725 I have never seen a softer group 462 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:25,904 in my life! 463 00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:27,483 This is on you two. 464 00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:31,046 The captain and the chief of the pussies. 465 00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:34,246 We need to talk. 466 00:16:35,992 --> 00:16:38,082 I want you to go in that office and tell your father to leave. 467 00:16:38,106 --> 00:16:39,417 If you want him out of your office, 468 00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:41,109 you tell him, Chief. 469 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,427 - You're afraid. - I'm afraid? 470 00:16:42,452 --> 00:16:44,187 You're soft. And by the way? 471 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,376 I'd be a better chief than you. I have the heart of a chief. 472 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,545 You're the one dragging me down. 473 00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:49,294 Ha! You're the chief of the pussies. 474 00:16:49,319 --> 00:16:51,117 Also, if you want to pay for dinner, 475 00:16:51,142 --> 00:16:52,903 - you just pay. - I am. 476 00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,014 - I told him, and he agreed. - Oh. 477 00:16:55,039 --> 00:16:56,372 But that shouldn't matter to you 478 00:16:56,397 --> 00:16:58,603 - because you're not invited anymore. - Oh. 479 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:00,017 - You're disinviting me? - Yeah. 480 00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:02,391 Well, you be very careful right now, Terry McConky, 481 00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:03,694 'cause I'll make you regret that. 482 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,607 I regret inviting you in the first place. 483 00:17:12,066 --> 00:17:14,488 Happy eighth grade graduation. 484 00:17:14,997 --> 00:17:16,719 When your mother was in the eighth grade, 485 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:19,300 we didn't celebrate eighth grade graduation. 486 00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:21,050 Didn't have cell phones, either. 487 00:17:21,075 --> 00:17:22,152 But these days, 488 00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:25,062 everybody's gotta have a trophy. 489 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,588 - Am I right? - Hey. 490 00:17:26,843 --> 00:17:28,235 - We're ready to order. - Oh, wonderful. 491 00:17:28,259 --> 00:17:29,773 Looks like we arrived just in time. 492 00:17:29,798 --> 00:17:31,275 What are you doing here? I disinvited you. 493 00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:32,879 Yeah. Vicky re-invited me. 494 00:17:32,904 --> 00:17:34,206 How could you disinvite him? 495 00:17:34,231 --> 00:17:35,599 This is a family dinner. 496 00:17:35,624 --> 00:17:37,350 Vicky also told me I could bring a date. 497 00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:38,465 So this is Penny. 498 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,887 Penny is a professional competitive eater. 499 00:17:40,912 --> 00:17:42,827 Oh, like the hot dog guys? 500 00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:46,021 Yeah. She eats massive amounts of food professionally. 501 00:17:46,046 --> 00:17:47,449 And she's in training. 502 00:17:47,474 --> 00:17:49,010 - Nice to meet you all. - Nice to meet you. 503 00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,375 Hey, Penny. 504 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,201 Oh, thank you. 505 00:17:52,301 --> 00:17:53,760 Professional eater. 506 00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:56,127 - That's great. - I'm starving. 507 00:17:56,237 --> 00:17:57,237 Dig in. 508 00:17:57,262 --> 00:17:58,430 Okay... my bread. 509 00:17:59,147 --> 00:18:01,283 Okay. That's my water. 510 00:18:01,905 --> 00:18:03,929 Maybe we could get her... uh. 511 00:18:05,822 --> 00:18:07,482 All right, why don't we start with the young lady? 512 00:18:07,506 --> 00:18:08,941 I will start... 513 00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:10,476 with the fried "calamar" 514 00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:12,487 and raviole al spinaci. 515 00:18:12,512 --> 00:18:15,557 And each of my girls will have a "spaghett" Bolognese. 516 00:18:15,582 --> 00:18:17,517 I'll also have the fried "calamar," 517 00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:19,342 followed by the veal "scallopeen" 518 00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:21,566 and a personal pizza alla "pepperone." 519 00:18:21,591 --> 00:18:22,926 I'll start with the "prosciut," 520 00:18:22,951 --> 00:18:26,848 then I'll have the spaghettini alla quattro formaggio, al dente. 521 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,595 For me, a bufala "moo-zarell" 522 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,497 followed by a stringozzi puttanesca 523 00:18:30,522 --> 00:18:32,594 with a side of risotto Parmigiano. 524 00:18:32,619 --> 00:18:35,000 Ooh, let's get some gabagool for the table, hmm? 525 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:36,702 - Gabagool? Gabagool? - Yeah. 526 00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:38,489 Gabagool galore. 527 00:18:38,514 --> 00:18:40,147 - The young lady? - To start, 528 00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:41,644 I'll have the left side of the menu... 529 00:18:41,668 --> 00:18:42,899 - Yeah. - And for the main course, 530 00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,519 - I'll have the right side. - Wonderful. 531 00:18:44,544 --> 00:18:47,242 - How about for you, sir? - I will just have the prime rib. 532 00:18:47,784 --> 00:18:49,886 - And some more bread. - Okay. 533 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:51,192 And another water. 534 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,737 Hey, thanks for picking up the check. 535 00:18:52,762 --> 00:18:54,096 I'll have a Dewar's Platinum. 536 00:18:54,121 --> 00:18:55,484 - Want to make it a double? - Make it a double. 537 00:18:55,508 --> 00:18:56,808 Great idea. 538 00:18:58,653 --> 00:19:01,355 The Dungeon Master grows impatient! 539 00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,594 - He's nuts! - We've gotta take him down. 540 00:19:03,618 --> 00:19:04,831 Just having this conversation right now 541 00:19:04,855 --> 00:19:06,184 could get our characters killed! 542 00:19:06,209 --> 00:19:08,608 Have you found a sub for Lucy yet? 543 00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:11,037 Not yet, Dungeon Master! 544 00:19:11,966 --> 00:19:13,168 I know. 545 00:19:13,672 --> 00:19:14,954 Oh, I got it. 546 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,289 What... don't... 547 00:19:18,213 --> 00:19:19,654 Hey, there he is. 548 00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:20,762 How goes it? 549 00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:22,299 Cool, cool. Good to see you, Tolthar. 550 00:19:22,324 --> 00:19:24,719 - You look awesome. - I know. 551 00:19:24,744 --> 00:19:26,737 Tolthar, Granny. Granny, Tolthar. 552 00:19:26,762 --> 00:19:27,973 Oh, Tolthar was with me the night that 553 00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:29,549 that girl turned me into a werewolf. 554 00:19:29,574 --> 00:19:31,042 Super Blue Blood Moon. 555 00:19:31,067 --> 00:19:32,854 - Was a weird night. - That was a weird one. 556 00:19:32,879 --> 00:19:34,324 I woke up naked next to a Wookie. 557 00:19:34,349 --> 00:19:36,144 - What? - Not a real Wookie. 558 00:19:36,169 --> 00:19:37,764 - A cosplay. - Aw. 559 00:19:37,789 --> 00:19:39,114 Still crazy. Over here. 560 00:19:39,139 --> 00:19:40,822 - Yeah. - Okay. 561 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,149 That's your thing, huh? 562 00:19:42,174 --> 00:19:43,744 Well, it was that night. 563 00:19:45,197 --> 00:19:47,515 Andy, you remember my buddy, Tolthar. 564 00:19:47,540 --> 00:19:48,603 Oh, yeah. 565 00:19:48,628 --> 00:19:50,302 So they got you to replace Lucy. 566 00:19:50,327 --> 00:19:51,811 I didn't realize you played D&D. 567 00:19:51,836 --> 00:19:53,538 - I dabble. - Aw, man. 568 00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:55,298 I'll try not to kill you too quickly. 569 00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:56,989 Oh, okay. Thanks. 570 00:19:57,361 --> 00:20:00,326 So there's Terry and Junior, 571 00:20:00,351 --> 00:20:02,655 and they're walking with the firefighters 572 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,615 in The St. Patrick's Day parade, 573 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,268 drunk as monkeys. 574 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,262 So drunk, they don't realize they're now walking 575 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,796 with a high school marching band. 576 00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:14,261 These two, they just keep on marching. 577 00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:15,542 Hey, sweetheart. 578 00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:16,916 When the check's ready, bring it to me. 579 00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,418 Hey, Dad, Dad, Dad. You said I could pay. 580 00:20:18,442 --> 00:20:19,679 I'm changing it up a little. 581 00:20:19,704 --> 00:20:20,972 And I'm not your dad. 582 00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:25,232 You enter and see the Androsphinx from behind. 583 00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:26,787 It spins, surprising you. 584 00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:28,148 Now, claw attack. 585 00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:30,089 And it kills you all. 586 00:20:30,114 --> 00:20:31,874 - Dead? We just started! - See? 587 00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,431 Nice playing with you guys. 588 00:20:33,456 --> 00:20:34,957 Nice seeing you again. 589 00:20:34,982 --> 00:20:37,800 Um, if we saw the Androsphinx from behind, 590 00:20:37,825 --> 00:20:39,302 how did it surprise us? 591 00:20:39,327 --> 00:20:41,129 It spun quickly? 592 00:20:41,181 --> 00:20:43,804 But if a player catches a monster from behind, 593 00:20:43,829 --> 00:20:45,652 we would get the first attack. 594 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:48,112 You've read "The Dungeon Master's Guide," yes? 595 00:20:48,137 --> 00:20:49,976 Yes. I've read it. 596 00:20:50,001 --> 00:20:51,996 Fine. You get first attack. 597 00:20:52,021 --> 00:20:54,566 Androsphinx is basically invincible, 598 00:20:54,591 --> 00:20:56,325 so... go for it. 599 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,319 Okay. I cast a time stop spell. 600 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:00,179 And then I use Nolzur's Marvelous Pigments 601 00:21:00,204 --> 00:21:01,937 to paint a lake around the Androsphinx 602 00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:02,963 in which it drowns. 603 00:21:02,988 --> 00:21:04,514 Nice! 604 00:21:04,539 --> 00:21:06,127 The Androsphinx can't swim. 605 00:21:06,152 --> 00:21:07,853 - It's dead, bitch. - Fish food, bitch. 606 00:21:08,052 --> 00:21:09,397 Yeah! 607 00:21:09,422 --> 00:21:11,323 Anyway, enjoy splitting that treasure. 608 00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:14,572 Oh, and lose my number, you fucking nerds. 609 00:21:14,597 --> 00:21:16,312 - All right, man. - Unless you do this again, 610 00:21:16,336 --> 00:21:18,019 because I really do enjoy D&D. 611 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,680 - Good to see you, Tolthar! - Likewise. 612 00:21:19,705 --> 00:21:21,576 - He's so good at D&D. - He really is. 613 00:21:21,601 --> 00:21:23,708 - You're a dick, Andy! - You're a real dick! 614 00:21:23,733 --> 00:21:25,312 What I can't figure out is 615 00:21:25,337 --> 00:21:28,260 how you're able to stand up without a backbone. 616 00:21:28,285 --> 00:21:30,685 - Can you step in here? - I've had a lifetime of this. 617 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:32,225 He'll make his point soon enough. 618 00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,451 Hey, Vick. 619 00:21:33,476 --> 00:21:35,021 Did you know that Terry 620 00:21:35,046 --> 00:21:36,815 let me kick him out of his office 621 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,274 without putting up a fight? 622 00:21:38,299 --> 00:21:39,803 I'm sure he had his reasons. 623 00:21:39,828 --> 00:21:41,289 Oh, I'll tell you his reasons. 624 00:21:41,314 --> 00:21:42,536 No balls. 625 00:21:42,561 --> 00:21:43,964 Well, he's got a ball. 626 00:21:43,989 --> 00:21:45,801 One ball. He's got a ball, 627 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:47,027 Eddie, Jr.'s got a ball. 628 00:21:47,052 --> 00:21:48,473 Between them, they got a pair of balls. 629 00:21:48,497 --> 00:21:49,688 Enough! 630 00:21:49,713 --> 00:21:51,364 Harry lost that nut saving my life. 631 00:21:51,389 --> 00:21:52,591 And Eddie lost his nut 632 00:21:52,616 --> 00:21:53,915 the second time I saved his life. 633 00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:54,983 Terry's a great chief. 634 00:21:55,007 --> 00:21:56,346 There's no one I'd rather report to. 635 00:21:56,370 --> 00:21:58,346 And Eddie's a great captain. His crew loves him. 636 00:21:58,371 --> 00:22:00,491 And there's no one I'd rather be in the trenches with. 637 00:22:03,220 --> 00:22:04,922 You know, when I showed up at work today, 638 00:22:04,947 --> 00:22:07,783 I saw a chief and a captain 639 00:22:07,808 --> 00:22:09,890 who loved to throw each other under the bus, 640 00:22:09,915 --> 00:22:11,550 neither acting like a leader. 641 00:22:11,584 --> 00:22:13,385 So I devised a plan... 642 00:22:13,420 --> 00:22:16,022 To make me your common enemy, 643 00:22:16,047 --> 00:22:17,715 hoping that you'd band together, 644 00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:19,743 and look what happened. 645 00:22:19,768 --> 00:22:21,502 You're acting like a team. 646 00:22:21,527 --> 00:22:23,405 Looks like I did my job again. 647 00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:25,161 You're supporting each other. 648 00:22:25,186 --> 00:22:26,766 You'll be better men, now. 649 00:22:26,791 --> 00:22:28,076 You're welcome. 650 00:22:30,828 --> 00:22:32,979 - Wanna get out of here? - I thought you'd never ask. 651 00:22:33,004 --> 00:22:34,237 You got room for a hot dog? 652 00:22:34,262 --> 00:22:35,585 As long as I soak it in water. 653 00:22:35,856 --> 00:22:36,856 That's gross. 654 00:22:36,881 --> 00:22:38,151 What is happening? 655 00:22:38,176 --> 00:22:39,677 Two things. 656 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,385 You're paying for dinner. 657 00:22:42,410 --> 00:22:44,078 And I'm Eddie Penisi. 658 00:22:44,116 --> 00:22:45,961 ♪ Eddie Senior! ♪ 659 00:22:45,986 --> 00:22:47,528 Son of a bitch. 660 00:22:47,553 --> 00:22:49,164 I'll just leave this here. Take your time. 661 00:22:49,188 --> 00:22:50,188 Oh. 662 00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:53,651 - Wanna split it? - Nope. 663 00:22:59,526 --> 00:23:01,497 The fog takes the form 664 00:23:01,522 --> 00:23:03,908 of a female nothic. 665 00:23:03,933 --> 00:23:07,203 You may ask one question of me, 666 00:23:07,228 --> 00:23:10,756 and one question only! 667 00:23:11,006 --> 00:23:12,674 Hey, I've got a question. 668 00:23:12,699 --> 00:23:14,139 When can I play with you guys again? 669 00:23:14,168 --> 00:23:16,153 Did you wash my car? Did you do her laundry? 670 00:23:16,178 --> 00:23:17,862 - Did you shine his shoes? - Yes. 671 00:23:17,887 --> 00:23:19,989 Why don't you start on our station tasks? 672 00:23:20,014 --> 00:23:21,184 Is that cool with you, Cap? 673 00:23:21,209 --> 00:23:23,113 Yeah, you know, I'll defer to the chief on this one, 674 00:23:23,137 --> 00:23:24,619 since he's in charge of this house. 675 00:23:24,644 --> 00:23:25,912 This is Cap's shift. 676 00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,664 I defer to him, and I support his decision. 677 00:23:27,689 --> 00:23:29,791 No, sir, please. You decide. 678 00:23:29,816 --> 00:23:32,603 No. Whatever's cool with him is cool with me. 679 00:23:32,628 --> 00:23:35,154 Okay. Then Andy can do everyone's tasks. 680 00:23:37,406 --> 00:23:39,122 I really like our new synergy. 681 00:23:39,147 --> 00:23:40,736 The station really hums when we support each other. 682 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:41,997 - Doesn't it? - Yeah. 683 00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:43,180 Speaking of humming... 684 00:23:43,205 --> 00:23:44,667 did you have sex on my desk? 685 00:23:44,692 --> 00:23:47,550 In light of our new, honest relationship, 686 00:23:47,575 --> 00:23:48,931 yes, I did. 687 00:23:48,956 --> 00:23:50,538 Son of a bitch, Eddie. 688 00:23:50,571 --> 00:23:51,748 That's sacred ground in there. 689 00:23:51,772 --> 00:23:53,183 You don't have sex on the chief's desk. 690 00:23:53,207 --> 00:23:55,042 - Somebody's got to do it. - Who was it? 691 00:23:55,067 --> 00:23:56,144 You know I don't kiss and tell. 692 00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,544 Was it that woman from Animal Control? 693 00:23:57,568 --> 00:23:59,488 That was in your car. I really should call her. 694 00:23:59,513 --> 00:24:00,715 Angela the ambulance driver. 695 00:24:00,747 --> 00:24:02,025 That was on your couch at Christmastime. 696 00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:04,265 - I should call her, too. - Patty from the tax office. 697 00:24:04,290 --> 00:24:06,165 That was in your garage on St. Paddy's Day. 698 00:24:06,190 --> 00:24:07,438 Ha! I'm not calling her. 699 00:24:07,463 --> 00:24:08,998 - Who was it? - I'm not telling. 700 00:24:09,023 --> 00:24:10,034 - Tell me. - I'm not telling. 701 00:24:10,058 --> 00:24:12,123 This relationship is over! 702 00:24:12,148 --> 00:24:13,893 Ask me if I care. 703 00:24:13,918 --> 00:24:15,463 You don't care about anything but yourself. 704 00:24:15,487 --> 00:24:17,385 - I don't care about shit. - That's exactly what I'm talking about! 705 00:24:17,409 --> 00:24:18,815 I like it when things go back to normal. 706 00:24:18,839 --> 00:24:20,697 It feels like all is right in the world. 707 00:24:20,934 --> 00:24:22,683 Oh! Critical hit! 708 00:24:22,708 --> 00:24:26,603 - You're gonna wash my desk! - Andy, go wash Chief's desk. Now.