♪♪
[ Crite snarling]
Wow.
This is awesome. Seriously, how'd you make this?
We didn't make it. It's a real video.
That's hairy thing attacked us last night.
You should put this on YouTube.
My nephew, he made one of those cute horror videos.
You put that up. [Chuckles] Oh, man!
That got a lot of views, didn't it?
-Yeah, yeah. -You're not listening.
'Course, his did have better special effects.
-That's right. -Here, give me the phone.
Let me see if I can pull that up here.
This has no Internet. -Yeah, it has no Internet.
Give me that. -That thing is real!
It attacked us! -Hey! Take it down, son.
-We were at a party last night. -Okay, yeah.
See, right there -- Your story doesn't hold up.
You two nerds at a party? Mnh.
Yeah! Dana invited us.
The girl from the -- the shelter!
Oh, shit.
Wait, Sheriff, what if that thing
is what killed the animals at the shelter?
-What if there are more of them? -I'm sorry, are you two boys
saying that you killed
those helpless animals at the shelter
for your video project? -Ooh.
Dude, let's get the hell out of here.
Yeah, we're sorry. We didn't mean
to waste your time. -No.
Uh, we just wanted to show you our...movie.
Yeah, i-in case you could get it to your nephew.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. I'll, uh --
I'll see what I can do. -All right.
-God damn kids. -Uh, speaking of which,
I'm gonna go drop some kids off at the pool.
I'm gonna shit in the pool.
[ Telephone rings ] Sheriff Miller.
Desk Officer: Sheriff, I have the manager
of Mike's Bowling Alley on the line.
Says a customer got attacked
by a hairy bowling ball with teeth.
♪♪
[ Cage rattles ]
Aww!
Is somebody hungry?
Someone sounds hungry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Uh-oh, ohh!
Eat it. That's it.
Oh, look at that beauty.
Want more?
Yeah -- oh! Oh!
Don't eat my finger!
-[ Snarls ] -Okay, okay.
Don't get a tummy ache!
♪♪
[ Growling ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Body thuds ]
Hey, did you hear something?
Oh, babe.
You're so hot when you hear things.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Both moan ]
[ Snarls ]
[ Screeches ]
-[ Snarls ] -Okay.
I definitely heard something. What is that?
[ Sighs ]
♪♪
Murray?
Is everything okay down there?
♪♪
Murray?
♪♪
Where are you?
♪♪
Murray?
[ Breathing heavily ]
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God.
♪♪
[ Sobs ]
[ Crite snarls ]
♪♪
No...
No! No!
[ Breathing heavily ]
Murray's dead.
Whoa, what?
They're back!
[ Crite snarls ]
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
[ Weapon beeps ]
[ Warbling, chimes ]
Holt?!
Aaah!
Ugh!
Ugh, watch where you're aiming that thing!
There!
♪♪
[ Laughs ]
[ Weapon warbles, chimes ]
Aaah!
[ Snarls ]
[ Weapon warbles ]
[ Growls ]
[ Weapon chimes ]
[ Whirring ]
There! There, there!
♪♪
Shit!
[ Snarls ]
♪♪
[ Breathing heavily ]
♪♪
Who the hell are you?
I was sent to destroy the Crites.
By the delivery service?!
I am a bounty hunter, hired on official papers
by the Federation of Now Fax Bar Domeda.
This is my cover.
I have traveled many light years to get here
and assumed the form of the man you know as Holt
three weeks ago. -Assume the form --
Wh-- Ugh!
What do you mean?
Oh.
Ohhh.
You've encountered the Crites before?
Yes.
A long time ago.
But if they came back to find me,
why did they just leave?
Unless they weren't...
here for me.
♪♪
[ Sighing ] Oh.
Oh.
The Crite captain took an interest in that photograph.
Ohhh, my God.
[ Frame clatters ] Oh, my God.
Come on!
♪♪
[ Crite snarls ]
♪♪
[ Tires squeal ]
Take the next right. -I am familiar with the location
of Sotto Valley High School,
having made several deliveries there.
Why are you talking to me like a God damn robot?
Didn't I mean anything to you?
I mean, I thought the sex was pretty good, right?
♪♪
Oh, my God.
Were you faking your orgasms?
Only 7/10s of them.
That thing you did with your...
tongue...
was insane.
Oh.
Yeah.
So, for three weeks, you were just pretending
to have sex with me, when really you were just...
waiting for that?
-Correct. -Okay, yeah.
Several months ago, the Federation intercepted
a Crite transmission referencing a mission of utmost secrecy,
a mission that could change the course of the war.
The "war"?
And the only concrete information we had
was a name and a place --
Veronica Stewart,
Livingston, Iowa.
I was the closest bounty hunter to your solar system
and was dispatched to watch over you
until the Crites arrived.
Thanks...I guess.
I don't know why I keep involving myself
in these long-distance relationships.
You know, not really working out for me.
A second team of agents was dispatched to track the Crites,
but their ship went down over Australia 24 hours ago.
So, basically, you're the only thing
standing between us and the Crites?
This appears to be the case.
♪♪
Your son, what is it the Crites want with him?
How the fuck should I know?
-Are you sure? -I-I have no idea.
That's not -- Just, you know what, drive.
Okay?
Just [Groans] drive.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
♪♪