♪ and tuca and bertie, tuca and bertie ♪
♪ tu-tu-tuca ♪
-♪ tuca ♪ -♪ and bertie. ♪
(vocalizing)
(inhales)
(exhales)
Good morning, sweety-tooks.
(gulps) mmm!
Thanks for the b-fast, b-friend.
Oops, I got to run.
I'm late.
Have a good day at work. Love you.
(smooching) love you!
(ducks quacking)
-(deep quack) -if you look to your left,
You'll see the majestic goobleyheim museum.
Built in 1919,
The year people stopped giving a (bleep)
When (bleep) was built.
(laughs) boring!
Let's talk tuca!
-(airhorn sounding) -(tourists cheering)
To your right, you'll see the remains
Of parakeet park, where I used to give out
-Unsolicited haircuts. -Tourists: Wow.
Of course, that was before tropical storm pantalones.
I named her myself.
Also, I will be giving all of you haircuts later.
-(whoops) -yeah.
Can I get bangs?
You're all getting bangs.
Consider this the bang boat.
-(tourists cheering) -yay! Bang boat!
(quacking)
Ahoy! If you look yonder,
You'll see the most interesting place in bird town.
My apartment building.
-Tourists: Ooh! -Yah, ducky, yah!
-(quacks) -(car alarm sounding)
Now we're gonna hang out with my friend bertie for a while.
Uh, hi, everyone.
Just getting some work done here.
You don't need to explain yourself to them, bertie.
Oh, it's okay, I don't mind.
I'm just listing my baking business on the yack app.
The one-stop shop for telling businesses
How much you love 'em.
Ooh, I already got my first yack review.
Uh, let's see.
Hmm, that's not really...
Ooh, another one.
Okay.
Can you believe people used to live like this?
-Hey! -Whoa!
Hey, everyone.
I-I didn't know there would be
A whole tour group in here.
(chuckling)
I specifically told you not to be around right now.
Whoops, I just happen to be
Carrying this casserole dish.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!
(laughter)
No, don't laugh at that.
Way too broad.
I prefer my humor to be much more sophisticated.
(farts, laughs)
Ah, ready for my ribbon cutting?
Yep, let's go.
I know what happens when a ribbon isn't cut
Before beginning construction.
Ghosts happen, bertie.
Mean ones.
♪ ♪
This was the site where I renovated my home.
A real fixer-upper.
But the flood washed all that hard work away.
(groans)
(whispers): Keep it together, speckle.
(exhales)
Then I realized
The thing that needs fixing-upping
Is bird town.
We've all seen how the flood has exacerbated
Our city's housing crisis.
Those tents are unsightly.
We need to sweep these streets.
Shut up, you rich nimby jerk.
-What? -Have some freakin' compassion.
-(phone rings) -(stammers)
What's that, I'm getting a huge settlement
From that time a bus ran over my dingus?
Put it all on stocks.
Hey, those tents are unsightly!
We need to sweep these streets.
So I sold my land back to the city.
And they approved my bid for an apartment complex
Dedicated to affordable housing.
Because when life gives you lemons,
You take those lemons, you dip them in brown sugar,
Sear them until caramelized, you zest the rinds,
And then serve them as a garnish...
(clears throat) or lemonade.
You-you can make lemonade, too.
I helped him write that part of his speech.
Wowza! What a scoop.
♪ ♪
Snip, snip! (laughs)
(crowd clapping)
(smooches)
Speckle, that was great.
Right? I can't believe it.
And tomorrow night I'm being honored at the architects' gala.
And you're a gal-a who has-a
Sold the muffins-es-a.
Well, only one.
The rest got burnt while I was figuring out
If I'm a c corp or a b corp.
Well, you're an a-plus corp in my book.
Speckle, I'm just excited to be your plus-one.
♪ ♪
Tuca, I'm so excited to be your plus-one!
Really? It's just a work mixer, but okay.
I'm excited that you're excited about this thing
That I'm not that excited about.
It's weird being employed at one job for this long.
I even had to take a sexual harassment course.
That's how I met figgy.
Welcome to the sexual harassment seminar.
We'll be covering professional boundaries in the workplace.
I guess you're my only attendee today.
Yep.
It's just you and me alone
In this room, discussing inappropriate,
Hr-forbidden workplace behavior.
(both moaning)
I want to climb up you and eat all your fruit
And build a (bleep) tree house in your head.
-Ooh. Yeah. -Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
I learned nothing, bertie.
-Nothing! -Hot.
Oh, a new yack review.
Wait.
Sweet beak sucks.
I ordered a blueberry muffin,
But the berries were purple. One star!
"thank you for your feedback.
Please call me at the following number to discuss further."
Blend with ice, soda, no alcohol.
Top with a twist from any fruit. (chuckles)
I'm easy. And serve with a silly straw.
Extra silly.
There she is!
Our terrific toucan!
The pride of bird town tours.
(laughing)
Her tours make zero sense, and the tourists love it.
That's what I love about this job.
I keep doing it wilder and stupider,
-But no one has fired me yet. -Fire you?
You're a keeper. We're thinking promotion.
A promotion already?
Don't you want to wait to see if I drown any tourists?
Or teach your ducks jazz?
Oh, tucy, tucy, tucy, you drive a hard bargain.
But, okay, we'll double it.
-Two promotions. -Huh?
Come on, I-I gave you my phone number minutes ago.
-(phone rings) -hello! Oh!
I'm so glad you called so I can explain
How much I value customers like you and...
Automated voice: Congratulations, you have won a great prize.
(groans)
Bertie, good news.
My boss just made the stupid mistake of believing in me.
Ha! Let's go pre-spend all the money I'm gonna make
Before he definitely fires me.
Ooh, I want a fun hat.
♪ ♪
(sighs)
-Aah! -♪ what do you think ♪
♪ of my deluxe tux ♪
♪ for the gala mañana? ♪
Hmm.
Oh.
Very handsome. (humming)
(shouting)
Wow, I have all this cool work stuff happening,
Tuca's thriving at her new job.
Is it weird for you that tuca and I are both doing so great?
Do you think I'm not doing great?
-Uh... -Tourist: Ooh!
What's he gonna say next?
Aah!
Oh, a straggler.
All right, get out.
Out! There's a fudge shop down the street.
Ooh, antiquated confections!
(sighs)
Bertie, I am...
So sorry.
What I said came out really wrong.
No, you're right.
Everyone's leveling up around me.
I'm spending so much energy baking my business,
I-I feel like I have no business baking.
Ah, sweetie.
I feel stuck.
Sometimes I compare myself
To people I admire, like, like...
Chef winter garcia.
The lady from the pastry box? (laughs)
She's really into her own face.
She's incredible.
Oh, how'd you do it, winter?
How'd you get your product
On every dessert aisle shelf in bird town?
Will you be my mommy?
Chew up your knowledge and spit it
Down my hot throat like I'm your baby bird.
Yeah, I think that's enough cinnamon roll...
Play for now.
I got to take some bigger swings
If I want to get anywhere with my business, speckle.
But how?
(grunting)
(screams)
I freakin' got it.
What if I catered your gala tomorrow?
But we already have a caterer booked.
-Call them and cancel. -Ah, uh...
Do it, speckle. Do the nepotism.
-Okay. -Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
♪ ♪
♪ what are dreams? ♪
♪ are they simply fantas... ♪
Uh, I'll get right to it.
I'm catering a gala in...
...12 hours, and I need to hire someone right away.
You would handle the business side of things,
While I focus on what I was born to do.
Bake till my booties quake.
Mm, business? (laughs)
Let's stop it right there, no.
I'm looking to do more hands-on baking.
Okay, well, sounds like you're not quite what I'm looking for.
I'm sorry? (stammers)
I thought you wanted to hold the door open
For emerging female talent.
But if you want to pull the ladder up behind you,
Instead of sending the elevator back down
Through the glass ceiling for the next generation...
-Aren't we the same age? -Ageist, too, I see.
Where's human resources?
Well, thank you, but I'm looking
For someone better positioned for this role.
Wait, I uplift other women.
I swear. I'd make a great mentor.
I have tons of experience, I show up early,
Finish late, my greatest flaw is I'm a "birdfectionist"!
Great, I'm hired.
I'll start around 10:00-ish, and I need
An extra hour for my lunch break.
-Okay... -Self-care time.
Uh... Good.
♪ ♪
(ducks quacking)
Welcome to tuca-stan.
I see a lot of returning faces.
And a few first-timers.
Who here is a tuca tour virgin?
Any actual virgins?
-(baby cooing) -nerd alert!
(laughter)
(baby whimpers)
-(quacks) -there she is!
The element most essential to our success.
(singsongy): Tuca!
Wow.
-Ooh, yes, yes! -(cheering, clamoring)
(laughs) nah!
-I'm not essential. -You sure are.
With all the new business you're bringing in.
Guys, when you find a basket like tuca,
You'd better put all your eggs in it.
(laughs, whoops)
He's kidding.
He's gonna fire me any minute now,
Just like all my bosses at every job I've ever had.
As if! I depend on you, tuca.
I just took out a huge loan to buy five more duck boats.
Also, one of the duck boats is real sick,
So I took out another huge loan
-To pay his medical expenses. -(coughing, wheezing)
No! Why would you do that?
Anyways, I staked my whole future
On you, tuca.
And if you let me down,
I'm ruined.
Have fun out there. Enjoy the tour, everyone.
-(laughs) -(quacking)
(coughing)
(laughs, whoops)
No pressure.
(all gasp)
Uh...
Tuca, can you save us, please?!
(laughs) butt.
I'm tuca.
I'm distracted because I'm unreliable,
And no one should trust me.
(crying)
Hello? Are you gonna tell us about more stuff?
Why do you all trust me to guide you?
A baby could do a better job.
-(baby cooing) -(tuca panting)
Yah, ducky, yah!
(coughing, wheezing)
Hey, tyler, thanks for...
Taking care of that.
But maybe you could try following the frosting pattern.
Stop micromanaging me!
-(crying) -okay, yeah.
-Of course. -(knocking)
Hello, we're with the internal revenue service.
Are you bertie songthrush?
Uh... Yes.
Hey, what are you doing?
You did not file your bird town business tax,
So we must confiscate your pastries into our bellies.
What? I-I didn't even get a warning!
Error-- I personally called you several times.
Congratulations, you have won a great prize.
The prize of being audited by the irs.
Hello? Hello? Why do they always hang up on me?
-(gulping) -tyler?
I asked you to file that business tax thing this morning.
(mouth full): Sorry. Mmm.
This is so good.
What?!
They ate all the pastries?
Bertie, are you serious?! You know what this means?!
This means it's fine.
(laughs) not like...
I promised the investors tasty treats!
They hate liars, bertie.
But I can explain it in a nice way.
And I'm sure their lawyers will
Milk me for every cent! I'm ruined!
This is bad, bertie!
This will really dick everything up!
But that's okay, it's okay.
'cause it's okay.
Speckle, I'm so sorry, okay?
I-I'm gonna fix it. You just focus
On being the best damn architect in the world, okay?
Don't worry.
(entry bell dings)
What do I do now? I'm bored.
Here, play this baking game.
♪ make those treats. ♪
Hey, bertie, I was just...
Look, tuca, I hired an employee.
No, get out.
I can immediately see what's going on here.
Bertie, blink twice if this lady sucks.
Ah, you got me.
I'm terrible. (laughs)
♪ I suckity-suck. ♪
God, she sucked so bad.
She sucked all of the suckies
Out of the... (sighs)
Tuca, thanks.
At least you look as hot as a steering wheel in July.
-Damn, bertie. -Aah, the gala.
I have to finish up getting ready.
(muffled): Tuca, why are you home so early?
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Yep, I'm just being tuca.
The sabotage is coming from inside the house.
You're still seeing figgy tonight, right?
Um...
Help me! Falling in love
With a careless toucan was a deadly mistake!
Nope, I'm blowing off my boyfriend
Just like I did with my job.
Double blow-off, baby!
(whoops) yeah!
Instead I'm going to crash
Speckle's fancy party.
♪ I'm not invited, but I'm showing up anyway. ♪
Yah!
Okay.
(quacking)
-(lively chatter) -(piano music playing)
(quacks)
Hey!
Look at me, I'm unemployable,
Undependable, professionally and romantically unviable.
Hey, I'm so glad tuca could make it.
I think she's going through some stuff right now.
(tuca laughing)
She'll talk when she's ready.
(sighs) they're not totally original,
But at least I gave chef winter garcia's
Pastries a little zhuzh.
Oh, my god! Chef winter garcia is here?!
Oh, wow!
That's the thing about fancy galas.
You never know what kind of swanky people are gonna show up.
Mommy.
No! Oh!
This is so messed up.
(spits)
Oh, god, let me vanish, please.
Hey, don't worry.
People love the tasty treats, bertie.
Look at all those happy investors.
Mmm.
I should go say hi.
-Want to come with? -No.
They don't want to talk to me.
-You go mingle. -Yeah.
I guess everyone here just wants to network
With important, successful people.
I mean, if you had your own gala
Celebrating you, I'm sure they'd be interested.
I mean, not "if."
"when" you have you own gala.
Uh, you know, that's...
(whooping) he stepped in it again.
How's he gonna get out of this one?
Okay, how about you head back to your hotel?
Ooh, yes!
I love flying thousands of miles
To sleep in a big bed.
Eh, tourists.
-That's a fine puff you're poking there. -(gasps)
Chestnut extract did enhance the flavor.
But you could have also gone almond.
Oh, well, what about a bit of bourbon?
(whoops) now you're speaking my native tongue.
Not literally-- that'd be bird chirps.
(chirping)
My bird chirps are rusty, but, um...
(squawking)
(laughs)
I thought you hated what I did.
I saw you spit it out.
I'm a pastry expert.
It's like being a sommelier.
I have to spit it out, or else I'd live
My life pastry drunk.
-Bertie songthrush, right? -Yes!
And you used to work for... Pastry pete.
-Oh, uh... -Oof.
But, hey, now you've started your own bakery.
-Sweet beak, right? -Yes.
I've eaten your work.
You put so much of yourself into it.
In a way, I've also eaten you.
And I like you. You're good.
Oh, my god, is this a dream?
Am I actually in bed peeing tiny little drops of pee?
(laughs) listen.
My winter snacks pastries are flying off the shelves
Of every grocery outlet in bird town.
They're selling like hot cakes, frozen cakes,
And shelf-stable, room-temperature cakes.
But like a soufflé in a pizza oven,
I'm afraid we're expanding too fast.
I need a smart cookie to help come up with new pastry ideas
While I handle the business side.
(gasps) "smart cookie," there's an idea.
-Should I write it down? -I already wrote down
Your smart cookie idea and built on it.
Popular cookie, emo cookie,
Cookie who's still in the process of finding itself.
(laughs) wonderful, but let me finish.
If you work for me, I need you to be all in.
-No more sweet beak. -Oh.
But, well, I-I always wanted to run my own bakery.
And you did, and now that you know what that's like,
Maybe you'd like to do this other thing.
Look, sometimes as you get older,
All you can see are the doors closing.
But here is an open door.
Don't get hemmed in by the dreams you had in your 20s.
That's the advice I'd give myself at your age.
Think on it.
(sighs)
-♪ ♪ -(laughing)
Forward, forward, side, ha!
Thank you for safely guiding us through these dance moves.
Uh...
-(dramatic music playing) -(faint screaming)
Don't follow me!
Trusting me with any responsibility
Is a path to disappointment and destruction.
Do your own thing!
All right, yeah.
I'm gonna do a side, side, forward--
Ow! (crying)
Oh, no!
Oh, we are all doomed!
(quacking)
(shouting, clamoring)
Oh, no, this is real bad!
Boss, what are you doing here?
Tuca, I was cleaning up after a tour,
When they all went nuts
Searching for their little friend.
Everyone knows ducks are pack animals!
Just sick, vicious beasts!
I'm sorry I abandoned the tourists on a boat.
But that's just what I do-- I'm tuca!
(crying)
-Mm, mm, mm. -Quack, quack, quack.
-Sup? -Bertie-ertie!
I knew this would happen.
This is why I should never say yes to anything.
I let everyone down just like I always do.
You've never let me down.
-Really? -No, actually...
You've let me down a lot, but it's okay.
You know, we all screw up.
I almost totally beefed it on catering this party.
Oh, my god, tuca, you're not gonna prevent bad stuff
By saying no to any good stuff that comes your way.
Leveling up is scary, but it's not as scary as never trying.
Isn't it better to take the leap?
Yeah, you know what?
I will take that job.
I thought this was a pep talk for me.
Oh, right, yeah-- tuca,
You are so good at guiding people.
That's true. I just guided you to an epiphany
Without even trying.
-I'm amazing. -Lawrie: I second that notion.
I know I messed everything up today.
But I want my job back.
Well, you actually helped me with one little thing.
You cured my duck of his illness
By taking him out of the water.
Turns out he was just seasick.
-(sneezes) -aah!
This is dry-clean only!
Ah, it's okay.
It's fine.
I'm willing to give you another chance.
I guess I don't get that double promotion anymore, do I?
No, now you just get the single promotion.
I accept the consequences of my actions.
(sighs)
(shouting)
I...
Accept your proposal.
Great, we'll get to work soon.
For now, enjoy the party.
(exhales)
Okay.
(exhales)
Come on, guys, this way.
(grunting) follow me.
(grunts) yes, I said follow me.
No, for real, follow me, follow.
Aying)
♪ ♪
(crying): Oh, it's so beautiful!
-I agree. -(wailing)
(dogs barking)