1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,466 Tuca ♪ 2 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,068 ♪ and tuca and bertie, tuca and bertie ♪ 3 00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,737 ♪ tu-tu-tuca ♪ 4 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,672 -♪ tuca ♪ -♪ and bertie. ♪ 5 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,742 (vocalizing) 6 00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,082 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,289 Leaf-raking is such a stupid sport. 8 00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,424 We could've spent this Sunday relaxing, but... 9 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,827 Today's a big deal. It's regionals. 10 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,765 It's all regionals. It's a very regional game. 11 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:35,233 Can I have some candy? 12 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,302 Check it out. They invented a new kind of candy 13 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,638 That looks and tastes exactly like carrot sticks. 14 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,639 Mmm. 15 00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:42,975 ♪ ♪ 16 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,709 You sure you want to go, tuca? 17 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,179 It's okay to still be mourning figgy. 18 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,581 (gasps) wait, figgy died? 19 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,784 No. I just broke up with him. 20 00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,386 Oh. So he's just dead to us? 21 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,722 Goodbye, potential friendship. 22 00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,792 ♪ ♪ 23 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,463 Guys, it's not a big deal. 24 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,532 I haven't thought about figgy in hours. 25 00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,802 I've been way too busy doing a lot of un-figgy things, 26 00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,471 And I'm ready to rebound with lots of un-figgy folks. 27 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:16,408 And maybe I'll scoop up a hot un-figgy at this game. 28 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,943 Okay, everybody in. Hurry up. 29 00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,414 We're running late to this ridiculous waste of time. 30 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,483 Hmm. Oh! 31 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,551 Here. 32 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,488 Ooh. Nice spatial reasoning. 33 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,023 -(tires screeching) -♪ whoo! ♪ 34 00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:32,957 ♪ go, go ♪ 35 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:37,363 ♪ go, go, go, go, go, go, go. ♪ 36 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,299 (grunts) 37 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,767 -Whee! -(groans) 38 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,102 Here we are. 39 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,505 The only activity less exciting than watching paint dry. 40 00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:50,175 Paint-watching is an entirely different sport. 41 00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:53,778 My game is happening in there. 42 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,914 (cheering) 43 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,516 Meh. 44 00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:01,186 -Oh, my god. Thomas aukberg! -(camera shutter clicks) 45 00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,987 (cheering) 46 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,190 Announcer man: Welcome to the bird town 47 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,192 Leaf-raking championships. 48 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:11,396 Dapper dog: Ah, the drama of the slatted broom. 49 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,665 Clearing away the colorful skein of autumn 50 00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:16,668 To make way for the frosty rime of winter. 51 00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:21,206 Today I'm joined by my new co-announcer dapper dog. 52 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,609 Enchanté. I love a good game of lawn harrowing. 53 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,479 Such a rustic and scrapy croquet. 54 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,882 Who will win the coveted golden rake? 55 00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,216 Defending champions 56 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,685 The bird town west hot ciders 57 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,554 Or the bird town east autumn warriors? 58 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,222 Mmm. 59 00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:40,492 Tuca: (grunts) e'scusi. E'scusi. 60 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,761 Damn, bertie, I hope this game's short, 61 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,629 'cause I want to get my rebound bang on, 62 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,699 And I'm surrounded by nuggos. 63 00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:51,369 A nuggo is a uggo who's "not ugly" in a hot way. 64 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,638 Oh. 65 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,174 Give it up for our players. 66 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,310 -(cheering) -tom mackinaw. 67 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,644 Well, hello. 68 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,246 Announcer man: Tomathan mckinley. 69 00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,781 Um, yes, please. 70 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,583 Announcer man: Tomuel mcthomas. 71 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:08,253 Ew. Okay. Steep drop in quality. 72 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,788 Yo, coach, trade this dud. 73 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:10,722 Hmm. 74 00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:12,657 They all look the same to me. 75 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,459 You've been in a relationship too long, bertie. 76 00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,994 Your senses have been dulled. 77 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:20,064 You must hone your palate by sniffing strangers' boxers. 78 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,600 (shudders) 79 00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,869 And here he is, folks, heavyweight of the hot ciders. 80 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,939 -It's tomcholas tomanielson. -(cheering) 81 00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,741 Oh, daddy! 82 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,209 -Hi, daddy! -I saw him first. 83 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,812 That's him. That's my rebound. 84 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,548 Pearl: Why stop at just one? 85 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,352 Why not rebound with the entire team? 86 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,886 Hmm? 87 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:45,290 Many have tried, yet no one has gone the full mile. 88 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:48,693 But you, yes, you could be the one. 89 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,831 Come, you must meet the elder council of the stadium. 90 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,969 A group of old people deciding what I should do with my body? 91 00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:00,973 Sounds fresh and original. I'm in. Bye, y'all. 92 00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:04,777 -I'm following this lady. -Well, have fun. Stay hydrated. 93 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,945 Ooh, look. There's thomas. 94 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,714 No! Ow! 95 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,650 -Oof, that's got to hurt. -Ooh. 96 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,386 Haven't seen an injury like this since 97 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:17,589 Tom-tom-tom-tom-to... 98 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:22,060 ...Tom-tom-tom sat on his rake in '86. 99 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,595 Daddy, are you okay? 100 00:04:23,798 --> 00:04:26,198 I'm fine. I'm oka... Oh! 101 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:30,935 Ow! It's way worse now. I made it so much worse. 102 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:31,870 I'm not okay. 103 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,073 -Oh, no. -Oh, good. Let's go home. 104 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,009 (squeaking) 105 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,278 This puts the autumn warriors in a tight spot for, 106 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,815 As we all know, a replacement player must be found 107 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:46,218 Within 90 seconds, or the entire game is forfeited. 108 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,620 Drama. 109 00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:51,490 Terry, you have to fill in for me! 110 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,025 If you've ever loved me, here, 111 00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,626 Please take my rake! 112 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,230 Damn it. This is also how he proposed to me. (sighs) 113 00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,964 Bertie, can you watch tulip? 114 00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,967 Oh, oh, no, I don't know how to talk to children. 115 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,570 -Hello, how do you do? -What? 116 00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,306 See? I've got zero natural ability with kids. 117 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:12,444 Oh, my god, what if I kill her? What if I kill your kid? 118 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:16,314 What if I... (gasps) do it on purpose? 119 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,850 (chuckles) it's okay. 120 00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:21,119 We'll watch tulip. If she dies, I'll take the heat. 121 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,587 Well, I don't have time 122 00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,389 To second-guess this clearly terrible idea. 123 00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,591 (kisses) good luck. 124 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,261 Announcer man: And it looks like thomas aukberg 125 00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,662 Will have a replacement. 126 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:32,665 Standing in for him is his wife 127 00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,132 -Terry! -(cheering) 128 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,435 Let's get this bullshit over with. 129 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,606 (whistle blows) 130 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,476 Announcer man: And straight out of the gate, 131 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,211 Here's tomanielson 132 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,214 Demonstrating his signature one-handed technique. 133 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,916 (blower whirring) 134 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,152 (indistinct chatter) 135 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,754 (grunts) 136 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,890 Yes! 137 00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:59,624 Hey, see your mama out there? 138 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,626 What do you think, is she gonna rake the most leaves? 139 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:02,961 -Yeah. -Hmm. 140 00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,898 Child-friendly topics of conversation. 141 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,433 Hey. Wh-what-what's your favorite vehicle 142 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,569 Used for municipal purposes? 143 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,437 You into garbage trucks or...? 144 00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,240 -Hey, bertie, you okay? -Are you supposed to do eye contact 145 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,708 Or no eye contact with kids? 146 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:20,645 Just relax. Hey, tulip, look what I can do. Uh... 147 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,813 (giggling) 148 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,315 Ooh. 149 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:24,316 (giggling) 150 00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:25,650 Ooh. Ooh, let me try. 151 00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:29,722 Tulip, look what I found in your ear. 152 00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:32,124 How did that get there? 153 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,326 Is my head full of quarters? 154 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:39,464 How will my head survive in an increasingly cashless society? 155 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,400 Food. Bribe. Change of subject. 156 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,603 Tulip, look! Do you eat solids yet? What do you want? 157 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,538 -I-I'll get it for you. -Hot dogs. 158 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,873 Ice cream. Everything! 159 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,075 -Love it. No problem. -Yay! 160 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,278 Hey, maybe we should set some boundaries. 161 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,480 It's something I've learned to do with wealthy clients. 162 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,349 But I want greek columns. 163 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,883 (shushing) 164 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,686 Hey, let's finish your gazebo first, okay, champ? 165 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,221 You can't spoil them, bertie. 166 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,424 It starts with greek columns. Then, before you know it, 167 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,626 They're asking for tunisian columns. 168 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,428 -(munching) -aw, man. Bertie. 169 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,965 Oh, come on. When I was her age, my parents were so checked out, 170 00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,699 We never did anything fun together. 171 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,901 What if we indulge tulip a little, 172 00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,171 Let her have a good time? It's just for a few hours. 173 00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:22,841 (sighs) okay. We can be fun adults. 174 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,311 Exactly. But we can't kill her. 175 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,781 This is her? 176 00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:30,115 Yup. I'm tuca. 177 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,250 I'm ready to have sexual intercourse 178 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,786 With a pile of rakesmen. 179 00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:36,855 Oh, everyone who goes to a game thinks it's so easy 180 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,257 To bang an entire team of athletes. 181 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,326 But nobody's done it. 182 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,195 I got close years ago. 183 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,530 Now I can barely look at a hot dog wiener 184 00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,000 Without bursting into tears. 185 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,133 (sobbing) 186 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,869 I pray every day that people will order 187 00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,673 The chicken tenders... But they never do. 188 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,740 (crying) 189 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,209 Well, I came in here 190 00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,678 With hubristic notions and swinging hips. 191 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,815 Now I can't even slide a key into a lock 192 00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:05,417 Without remembering I'm a failure. 193 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,886 A jingling, jangling failure. 194 00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,955 Oh, and I can't even back up into a tight spot. 195 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,625 Don't even ask me to drive a stick shift. 196 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:16,294 Wait, please listen. 197 00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,497 My sisters of the stadium, 198 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:22,234 Tuca is the one. She can do it. 199 00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,301 It's too hard. 200 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,171 Hey, everybody! I know I can do this. 201 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,507 And I can help you all get your grind back, too. 202 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,042 Here's some of my stats. 203 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:33,645 When I was 22, I (honk) a (boing) out of a (boing). 204 00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:37,049 My record for most (squeak) in a night is 74. 205 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,719 One time I (whistle) while skydiving (whistle) 206 00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,388 Into a giant, juicy (boing). 207 00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,656 It was an (bleep). 208 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,092 Plus, look at this. 209 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,901 She is... The one. 210 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,140 And now each team must pay a youth to rake for them. 211 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:05,210 Can they finish the task and maintain clean piles 212 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,414 Despite their juvenile lassitude? 213 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,417 (crowd cheering) 214 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,553 Come on. Please rake the leaves. Please. 215 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,955 (laughing) 216 00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,157 Ha. I had to buy our son the same thing. 217 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,159 Oh, yeah. You just got to do whatever you can 218 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,560 To keep them happy. (chuckles) 219 00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:23,629 And alive. 220 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,431 Anything that works, am I right? 221 00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,099 (chuckles) that is correct. 222 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:30,769 Before I had kids, I was so careful and nervous around them. 223 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,037 But now I'm like you guys. 224 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,306 I'm all, "just have fun, kiddo. 225 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,574 "go ahead and shove dirt straight down your gullet. 226 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:37,909 See if I care." 227 00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,178 It's nice to meet other cool parents. 228 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,448 Most adults are so uptight. 229 00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,182 Us? Cool? 230 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,384 And how old is she? Your daughter? 231 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,988 Oh. Tulip's actually, she's, um... 232 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,057 Our daughter, yes! 233 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:57,395 And she's five, six, seven-- six and a half-- three-quarters. 234 00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,198 6 3/4. Eh. 235 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,468 Yup. Tulip's our own little hatchling. 236 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:07,272 And my name is... Ch-christopher, with a "v." 237 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,075 And... Tulip's a musical prodigy. 238 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,144 -Wow. -Eh. 239 00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:13,345 She plays the horn. 240 00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,612 Oh. Which one? 241 00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,882 Well, you know, the one that has a lot of, uh, buttons, 242 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,416 And you can wear it as pants. 243 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:23,489 And it goes, "wam, bwam." you know that one? 244 00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:24,823 Impressive. 245 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,493 It's so nice to hang out with other parents. 246 00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:30,696 -Oh, absolutely. -So nice. 247 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,431 New friends. 248 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,568 ♪ I know I'm set for glory ♪ 249 00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:40,105 -Mmm. Uh... (laughs) -♪ nothing's gonna stop me now ♪ 250 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,841 ♪ here's my story ♪ 251 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,309 Uh-huh. 252 00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:46,178 ♪ and no one's gonna tell me how ♪ 253 00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,280 -♪ I gotta do it right ♪ -(laughing) 254 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,717 ♪ I'm gonna shine bright tonight. ♪ 255 00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,551 (all laughing) 256 00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:57,389 Tuca, you've done so much to help us. 257 00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,858 Now there's just the matter of humping that team. 258 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,728 No! We can't let her do it. She'll get hurt. 259 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:06,398 But she's the one. She can get us out of here. 260 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,601 She must save herself. No one will ever free us. 261 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,469 She'll be sucked into the curse. 262 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,005 -What now? -Ah, we got to tell her. 263 00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:19,611 Fine. Okay. Tuca, there's a curse on this stadium. 264 00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,348 An entire team must get screwed, 265 00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:25,817 And six full orgasms must be achieved. 266 00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,085 And good ones, too. 267 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,687 None of those weird little numb ones. 268 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,557 If there aren't six players laid 269 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:35,493 And six female climaxes achieved before night falls on game day, 270 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,429 Anyone who attempts to break the curse 271 00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:40,032 Is trapped in the stadium forever. 272 00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,300 Oh, we've been here for decades. 273 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,035 We sleep on the field. 274 00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,637 (crickets chirping) 275 00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:46,704 (snoring) 276 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,308 So, anyone have a new crush? 277 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,311 Nobody has ever successfully broken the curse. 278 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,514 If you try and fail, you'll be stuck here with us, 279 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,985 And you'll have to work at the gift shop. 280 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,987 Well, it's the crappiest job 281 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,122 Because you have to sell collectibles 282 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,258 To the worst kind of nerd... 283 00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,594 -Jock nerds. -(cawing) 284 00:12:08,596 --> 00:12:09,727 Damn. 285 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,796 I'm not worried. 286 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,530 -None of this worries me. -Really? 287 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,667 Six orgasms is nothing to me. I can be super horny. 288 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,436 Just watch. 289 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,408 -(gasps) -ho-ho-ho! 290 00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,277 (buzzing) 291 00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,347 She's even more the one than she was before. 292 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,950 The one-iest one. 293 00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,919 She is ready. 294 00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:39,024 Yeah, tommy. Good raking technique. Keep up the pace. 295 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,426 Eyes on the leaves, boys. 296 00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:44,095 I'm seeing clusters, and I want to see piles. 297 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:46,097 -(cheering) -good work. Good hustle. 298 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,900 (whoops) rake it, honey! Ow. 299 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,368 (panting) 300 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,536 (grunts) 301 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,571 Ow! 302 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,841 (laughs) nice! 303 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,176 This game is so dumb. 304 00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,911 So, yeah, me and bertie and tulip 305 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,648 All live in, like, a big house, but it's tasteful. 306 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:06,985 And we grow all our own salads, because I can keep plants alive. 307 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,522 And we own a swimming pool full of candy. 308 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:11,790 We do. 309 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,191 Yes, we do. 310 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,860 You know, work keeps me pretty busy, 311 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,128 Since I run everything at, uh, 312 00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,797 My own restaurant. 313 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,199 Bertie's family restaurant. 314 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,669 Yeah, and I'm a stay-at-home dad. 315 00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:26,338 The second I looked into little tulip's eyes, 316 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,941 I knew I was no longer just a person. 317 00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:32,077 I was now a father. 318 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,813 You love being a father. 319 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,350 Yeah. It just gives my days so much structure and meaning. 320 00:13:38,352 --> 00:13:40,886 -It's so fulfilling. -Um, wow. 321 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,921 And I'm a... A mom. 322 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,224 Look at you. You've got it all. 323 00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,293 (chuckles nervously) sure do. 324 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:52,197 Wow. We're both in telemarketing. 325 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,766 Announcer man: Now our players are doing 326 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:57,235 What every raker must do mid-rake-- 327 00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,038 Pause to stare into middle distance 328 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,908 And marvel at the slow passage of time. 329 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,110 Another summer come and gone. 330 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,579 Soon we will be as the leaves, 331 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,716 Our days of splendor long forgotten. 332 00:14:10,718 --> 00:14:12,317 Watch us tumble, tumble, 333 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:17,122 Tumble on our irreversible descent to earth. 334 00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,991 And now for our halftime show: 335 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:22,728 A dead rabbit slowly decomposing. 336 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,297 (cheering) 337 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,600 There it is, the players' lair. 338 00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,268 Halftime is starting. 339 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,538 -(slaps) -go get those hot ciders, tuca. 340 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,939 All six of 'em. 341 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,341 Thank you for believing in me 342 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,876 And my ability to bounce from wiener to wiener. 343 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,545 I won't let you down. 344 00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,949 Oh. It's you! 345 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,483 Oh-ho-ho. Howdy. 346 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,353 Gosh. You're glowing like a porch light, 347 00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,621 And I feel like a big old June beetle. 348 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:51,757 Yeah. Come to tuca. 349 00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:54,492 Yes, ma'am. I am down to sashay. 350 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,895 (grunting rhythmically) 351 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,630 (laughing) 352 00:14:58,832 --> 00:14:59,697 Whoa, tulip. 353 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,166 E-easy girl. (chuckles nervously) 354 00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,568 (growling) 355 00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,436 Here. Do you want to play a game on my phone? 356 00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,905 -(synthesizer music playing) -ah... 357 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,307 Clickity-clicks. Lighty-lights. 358 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,643 In-app purchasy-purchases. 359 00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:14,712 Uh, you know, a-actually, I'm gonna take that back. 360 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,114 (crunch) 361 00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,583 Ow! Okay. It didn't break the skin. 362 00:15:17,785 --> 00:15:19,585 I think it was just a warning. Huh. 363 00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:21,119 (screaming) 364 00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,520 I want phone! 365 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,723 My phone baby! Give me back my baby! 366 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,659 -(crying) -hey, kiddo. 367 00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,527 Let's just save some of this energy 368 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,063 For horn rehearsal tonight. 369 00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:35,267 Or, as us horn parents say, "rehornsal." 370 00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:36,468 -(groans) -(giggling) 371 00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:37,869 Speckle, let her have some fun. 372 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,805 Come on, she'll burn this energy off eventually. 373 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,139 You push her too hard. 374 00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,208 She can have fun doing something calmer 375 00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,676 And less bite-y. 376 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,678 Look at gavin. 377 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,280 ♪ ♪ 378 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:51,549 (giggles) watch me swim. Whee! 379 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:55,020 Ah. Now do you see why we need more boundaries with her? 380 00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,155 It's basic parenting. 381 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,290 (screaming) 382 00:15:58,492 --> 00:16:01,093 Oh, no. We killed her! 383 00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,427 (giggling) 384 00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:05,197 Ah! She's still alive! 385 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,833 (moaning) 386 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,102 Announcer man: Things are heating up. Oh, it's on, folks. 387 00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:11,769 It's happening. 388 00:16:11,772 --> 00:16:13,105 (moaning) 389 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,775 Figgy? 390 00:16:17,778 --> 00:16:19,478 Figgy! 391 00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,125 Figgy! 392 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:37,863 (grunts) 393 00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,865 Announcer man: Oh, this is not pretty, folks. 394 00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:42,134 It looks like they still haven't gotten over their last loss. 395 00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,535 Hey, maybe we should stop. 396 00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:47,506 No! Pushing... Through... It. 397 00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,008 Uh, no offense, ma'am, 398 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,743 But that pelvis sounds like a broken woodchipper, and, uh, 399 00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,545 It's making my pecker freeze up something fierce. 400 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,680 (sighs) 401 00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,081 Let me just think some horny thoughts. 402 00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,617 Sex. Sex with people. 403 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,888 Ooh, sex with objects. Sexy sex. 404 00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,823 (engine stalling) 405 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,692 Announcer man: And you hate to see this, folks. 406 00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:09,695 They're really forcing an unnatural play here, 407 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,897 -And it is not flowing. -(groaning) 408 00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:13,899 (crying): I can't do it! 409 00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:16,135 (wailing) 410 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,905 (crowd cheering) 411 00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,375 Where is she? 412 00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,511 See? I knew this would happen. 413 00:17:25,513 --> 00:17:27,045 She's halfway through an epic sugar bender. 414 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,980 She's gonna crash and tank her rehornsal tonight. 415 00:17:29,183 --> 00:17:32,918 She could use a little support from her father right now. 416 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,522 Oh, easy for you to say. 417 00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:40,058 You're busy working long hours while I raise our child! 418 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,727 That is so unfair! 419 00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:45,063 Who do you think pays for all that horn tutoring, huh? 420 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,198 (panting) 421 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,333 -(grunts) -(crowd cheering) 422 00:17:48,336 --> 00:17:50,068 -Whoa! -Tulip? 423 00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,069 -(giggles) -tulip. 424 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,604 Whee! Whoa! 425 00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:54,339 (panting) 426 00:17:54,342 --> 00:17:56,274 -Wow! -Damn it! 427 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,676 Look at me, mommy. I can fly. 428 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,612 Wait, why are we fighting about this? 429 00:18:00,614 --> 00:18:02,480 Tulip's not even really our kid. 430 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,482 (crickets chirping) 431 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,219 Well, what about when we do have kids? 432 00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:08,820 How is this going to work 433 00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,889 If we have totally conflicting parenting philosophies? 434 00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:13,359 I didn't realize we were going to have kids. 435 00:18:13,561 --> 00:18:16,094 Well, I don't want to, but you clearly do. 436 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:20,165 You said that stuff about how meaningful fatherhood is to you. 437 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,367 I thought we were making shit up! 438 00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:24,370 You said you could keep plants alive! 439 00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:25,837 But what if I'm holding you back 440 00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,773 From a happy life of having children? 441 00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:29,441 You're so good with them. 442 00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:32,177 I just assumed you wanted some of your own. 443 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:35,781 -Not at all! -Nor I, neither! 444 00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:37,383 So we agree! 445 00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:41,052 Same page, all the way! 446 00:18:41,055 --> 00:18:42,421 (both sigh) 447 00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:45,991 (crowd cheering) 448 00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:47,393 (tulip giggles) 449 00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,995 -Tulip. -(whistle blows) 450 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,331 ♪ ♪ 451 00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,066 (giggles) 452 00:18:54,268 --> 00:18:55,934 -Ah...! -Whoa! 453 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,003 (crowd cheering) 454 00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:04,276 (buzzing) 455 00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:05,677 ♪ ♪ 456 00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:09,281 And the autumn warriors win the game! 457 00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,417 (chanting): Terry! Terry! 458 00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:13,485 Sweetie. You did it! 459 00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:18,323 Yep. This was your dream, and it was easy. 460 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,561 I (bleep) it up. And not in a hot way. 461 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,898 Part of me wanted it so bad, but I just couldn't. 462 00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,567 Aw, yeah. It happens. 463 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,170 Your body can be in pristine condition, 464 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,972 But if your mind isn't right... 465 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,307 I failed. 466 00:19:35,309 --> 00:19:37,575 My goal was to do the entire team, 467 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,111 And none of them got done. 468 00:19:39,313 --> 00:19:42,047 Actually, tuca, listen. 469 00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:44,582 (moaning) 470 00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,319 The entire team is getting did. 471 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,387 And it's all because of you. 472 00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,589 (moaning) 473 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,859 Tuca, you helped us realize 474 00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:57,329 We've been holding ourselves back all these years. 475 00:19:57,331 --> 00:19:59,064 We could've been hotdogging each other 476 00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:01,599 And entire teams all along. 477 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,068 We were locked in the past. 478 00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,803 That's how we failed ourselves and lost our way. 479 00:20:05,806 --> 00:20:08,140 But you were the key to our slots, tuca. 480 00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:09,141 (whoops) 481 00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:10,542 Thank you for showing us 482 00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:13,211 How to believe in ourselves again, tuca. 483 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,147 The curse is almost... 484 00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:17,949 (moaning) 485 00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:23,155 Okay, whew, that was six. The curse is broken now! 486 00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:27,092 Oh, wow. It smells funny in here. 487 00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,826 Wow, this is real nice. 488 00:20:28,829 --> 00:20:30,628 I'm enjoying this postgame orgy. 489 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,630 Good for you, dude. 490 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,432 Hey, whose butt is that? 491 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,767 Oh... (laughs) not a butt. 492 00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:37,569 Just some ice cream. I'm gonna eat these later. 493 00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:39,905 Oh, sounds good. 494 00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:40,972 More ice cream? 495 00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:43,441 Hi. (laughs) I'm a butt. 496 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,077 Got to get back to work now. 497 00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,180 I guess I'm finally admitting to myself 498 00:20:48,382 --> 00:20:50,315 That I'm really sad about breaking up with figgy. 499 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:53,451 Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't (bleep). 500 00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,054 Look down. 501 00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,123 You're back in action. 502 00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:01,659 Yeah, but now I got no one to do it with. 503 00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:05,197 Not no one. Look down again. 504 00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:06,865 (both grunting) 505 00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:12,071 And that's how I think sex works. 506 00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,339 Oh. 507 00:21:14,342 --> 00:21:16,342 So... Sorry we lied. 508 00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:18,276 Oh, it's no biggie. 509 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,545 We were lying, too. 510 00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:20,879 We're grifters. 511 00:21:20,881 --> 00:21:23,415 Here you go. I grifted your wallet. 512 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,751 Wow. What? Is this even your son? 513 00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:28,486 Oh, yeah. He's top of his class at grifting school. 514 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,155 Actually, dad, I made that up. 515 00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:33,358 I've just been going to the arcade this whole time. 516 00:21:33,361 --> 00:21:35,293 It was a grift. 517 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,895 Aw. That's our boy. 518 00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:39,364 (chuckles) excellent grift, son. 519 00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,066 -(sighs) -ooh-wee. 520 00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:42,300 Oh. 521 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:47,172 Wait, where are you going? The curse has been lifted. 522 00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:49,441 We know. But we still live here. 523 00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:50,776 This is our home. 524 00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,578 It's so dark out there. 525 00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:54,980 I can't sleep without the stadium lights 526 00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,448 Beaming down on me. 527 00:21:56,450 --> 00:22:00,052 Plus, this way, we can keep (bleep)ing more teams. 528 00:22:00,254 --> 00:22:02,254 (cheering) 529 00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:03,422 Yeah, baby! 530 00:22:05,593 --> 00:22:07,793 ♪ we're raking it up ♪ 531 00:22:07,795 --> 00:22:09,395 ♪ raking it up tonight ♪ 532 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,933 ♪ we're raking it up ♪ 533 00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:17,169 ♪ till the feeling's right ♪ 534 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,141 ♪ oh, I want you to rake me there ♪ 535 00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:24,943 ♪ rake it all night ♪ 536 00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:26,411 ♪ it's just not fair ♪ 537 00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:28,614 ♪ oh, baby ♪ 538 00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:30,916 ♪ raking it up ♪ 539 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,687 ♪ oh, baby ♪ 540 00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,856 ♪ raking me down. ♪ 541 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,627 (squishing) 542 00:22:41,629 --> 00:22:44,963 Dang it. I'm never invited to these. 543 00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:47,599 (dogs barking)