1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,466
Tuca ♪
2
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,068
♪ and tuca and bertie,
tuca and bertie ♪
3
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:04,737
♪ tu-tu-tuca ♪
4
00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:07,672
-♪ tuca ♪
-♪ and bertie. ♪
5
00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:09,742
(vocalizing)
6
00:00:14,949 --> 00:00:17,082
♪ ♪
7
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:24,289
Leaf-raking is such
a stupid sport.
8
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,424
We could've spent
this Sunday relaxing, but...
9
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,827
Today's a big deal.
It's regionals.
10
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,765
It's all regionals.
It's a very regional game.
11
00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:35,233
Can I have some candy?
12
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:37,302
Check it out. They invented
a new kind of candy
13
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,638
That looks and tastes
exactly like carrot sticks.
14
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,639
Mmm.
15
00:00:41,976 --> 00:00:42,975
♪ ♪
16
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:44,709
You sure you want to go, tuca?
17
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,179
It's okay to still be
mourning figgy.
18
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,581
(gasps)
wait, figgy died?
19
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,784
No. I just broke up with him.
20
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:54,386
Oh. So he's just dead to us?
21
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,722
Goodbye, potential friendship.
22
00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,792
♪ ♪
23
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,463
Guys, it's not a big deal.
24
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:07,532
I haven't thought about figgy
in hours.
25
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,802
I've been way too busy
doing a lot of un-figgy things,
26
00:01:09,804 --> 00:01:12,471
And I'm ready to rebound with
lots of un-figgy folks.
27
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:16,408
And maybe I'll scoop up
a hot un-figgy at this game.
28
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,943
Okay, everybody in. Hurry up.
29
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:22,414
We're running late to this
ridiculous waste of time.
30
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,483
Hmm. Oh!
31
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:26,551
Here.
32
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,488
Ooh. Nice spatial reasoning.
33
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,023
-(tires screeching)
-♪ whoo! ♪
34
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:32,957
♪ go, go ♪
35
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:37,363
♪ go, go, go, go, go, go, go. ♪
36
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,299
(grunts)
37
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:42,767
-Whee!
-(groans)
38
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,102
Here we are.
39
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,505
The only activity less exciting
than watching paint dry.
40
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:50,175
Paint-watching
is an entirely different sport.
41
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:53,778
My game is happening in there.
42
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,914
(cheering)
43
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,516
Meh.
44
00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:01,186
-Oh, my god. Thomas aukberg!
-(camera shutter clicks)
45
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,987
(cheering)
46
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,190
Announcer man:
Welcome to the bird town
47
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,192
Leaf-raking championships.
48
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:11,396
Dapper dog:
Ah, the drama
of the slatted broom.
49
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,665
Clearing away the colorful
skein of autumn
50
00:02:13,668 --> 00:02:16,668
To make way for
the frosty rime of winter.
51
00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:21,206
Today I'm joined by my new
co-announcer dapper dog.
52
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:24,609
Enchanté. I love
a good game of lawn harrowing.
53
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:27,479
Such a rustic
and scrapy croquet.
54
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,882
Who will win the coveted
golden rake?
55
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,216
Defending champions
56
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:32,685
The bird town west hot ciders
57
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,554
Or the bird town
east autumn warriors?
58
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:37,222
Mmm.
59
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:40,492
Tuca:
(grunts) e'scusi. E'scusi.
60
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,761
Damn, bertie, I hope
this game's short,
61
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,629
'cause I want to get
my rebound bang on,
62
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,699
And I'm surrounded by nuggos.
63
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:51,369
A nuggo is a uggo
who's "not ugly" in a hot way.
64
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,638
Oh.
65
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,174
Give it up for our players.
66
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,310
-(cheering)
-tom mackinaw.
67
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,644
Well, hello.
68
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,246
Announcer man:
Tomathan mckinley.
69
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,781
Um, yes, please.
70
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,583
Announcer man:
Tomuel mcthomas.
71
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:08,253
Ew. Okay. Steep drop in quality.
72
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:09,788
Yo, coach, trade this dud.
73
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:10,722
Hmm.
74
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:12,657
They all look the same to me.
75
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,459
You've been in a relationship
too long, bertie.
76
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,994
Your senses have been dulled.
77
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:20,064
You must hone your palate
by sniffing strangers' boxers.
78
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,600
(shudders)
79
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:24,869
And here he is, folks,
heavyweight of the hot ciders.
80
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,939
-It's tomcholas tomanielson.
-(cheering)
81
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,741
Oh, daddy!
82
00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:31,209
-Hi, daddy!
-I saw him first.
83
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,812
That's him. That's my rebound.
84
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,548
Pearl:
Why stop at just one?
85
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,352
Why not rebound
with the entire team?
86
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,886
Hmm?
87
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:45,290
Many have tried, yet no one
has gone the full mile.
88
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:48,693
But you, yes,
you could be the one.
89
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,831
Come, you must meet the
elder council of the stadium.
90
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,969
A group of old people deciding
what I should do with my body?
91
00:03:57,171 --> 00:04:00,973
Sounds fresh and original.
I'm in. Bye, y'all.
92
00:04:00,975 --> 00:04:04,777
-I'm following this lady.
-Well, have fun. Stay hydrated.
93
00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,945
Ooh, look. There's thomas.
94
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,714
No! Ow!
95
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,650
-Oof, that's got to hurt.
-Ooh.
96
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,386
Haven't seen an injury
like this since
97
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:17,589
Tom-tom-tom-tom-to...
98
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:22,060
...Tom-tom-tom
sat on his rake in '86.
99
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,595
Daddy, are you okay?
100
00:04:23,798 --> 00:04:26,198
I'm fine. I'm oka... Oh!
101
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:30,935
Ow! It's way worse now.
I made it so much worse.
102
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:31,870
I'm not okay.
103
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,073
-Oh, no.
-Oh, good. Let's go home.
104
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,009
(squeaking)
105
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,278
This puts the autumn warriors
in a tight spot for,
106
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,815
As we all know, a replacement
player must be found
107
00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:46,218
Within 90 seconds,
or the entire game is forfeited.
108
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,620
Drama.
109
00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:51,490
Terry, you have
to fill in for me!
110
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,025
If you've ever loved me, here,
111
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,626
Please take my rake!
112
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:58,230
Damn it. This is also how
he proposed to me. (sighs)
113
00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,964
Bertie, can you watch tulip?
114
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,967
Oh, oh, no, I don't know
how to talk to children.
115
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,570
-Hello, how do you do?
-What?
116
00:05:05,572 --> 00:05:08,306
See? I've got zero
natural ability with kids.
117
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:12,444
Oh, my god, what if I kill her?
What if I kill your kid?
118
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:16,314
What if I... (gasps)
do it on purpose?
119
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:17,850
(chuckles) it's okay.
120
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:21,119
We'll watch tulip. If she dies,
I'll take the heat.
121
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,587
Well, I don't have time
122
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,389
To second-guess
this clearly terrible idea.
123
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,591
(kisses)
good luck.
124
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,261
Announcer man:
And it looks like thomas aukberg
125
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,662
Will have a replacement.
126
00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:32,665
Standing in for him is his wife
127
00:05:32,867 --> 00:05:34,132
-Terry!
-(cheering)
128
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,435
Let's get this bullshit
over with.
129
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,606
(whistle blows)
130
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,476
Announcer man:
And straight out of the gate,
131
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,211
Here's tomanielson
132
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:49,214
Demonstrating his signature
one-handed technique.
133
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:50,916
(blower whirring)
134
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,152
(indistinct chatter)
135
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,754
(grunts)
136
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,890
Yes!
137
00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:59,624
Hey, see your mama out there?
138
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,626
What do you think, is she
gonna rake the most leaves?
139
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:02,961
-Yeah.
-Hmm.
140
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,898
Child-friendly
topics of conversation.
141
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,433
Hey. Wh-what-what's
your favorite vehicle
142
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,569
Used for municipal purposes?
143
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,437
You into garbage trucks or...?
144
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:15,240
-Hey, bertie, you okay?
-Are you supposed to do
eye contact
145
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,708
Or no eye contact with kids?
146
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:20,645
Just relax. Hey, tulip,
look what I can do. Uh...
147
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,813
(giggling)
148
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,315
Ooh.
149
00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:24,316
(giggling)
150
00:06:24,318 --> 00:06:25,650
Ooh. Ooh, let me try.
151
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:29,722
Tulip, look what I found
in your ear.
152
00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:32,124
How did that get there?
153
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,326
Is my head full of quarters?
154
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:39,464
How will my head survive in an
increasingly cashless society?
155
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,400
Food. Bribe. Change of subject.
156
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,603
Tulip, look! Do you eat
solids yet? What do you want?
157
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,538
-I-I'll get it for you.
-Hot dogs.
158
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,873
Ice cream. Everything!
159
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,075
-Love it. No problem.
-Yay!
160
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,278
Hey, maybe we should
set some boundaries.
161
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,480
It's something I've learned
to do with wealthy clients.
162
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,349
But I want greek columns.
163
00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:58,883
(shushing)
164
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,686
Hey, let's finish
your gazebo first, okay, champ?
165
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,221
You can't spoil them, bertie.
166
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,424
It starts with greek columns.
Then, before you know it,
167
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,626
They're asking
for tunisian columns.
168
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,428
-(munching)
-aw, man. Bertie.
169
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,965
Oh, come on. When I was her age,
my parents were so checked out,
170
00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:14,699
We never did
anything fun together.
171
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,901
What if we indulge tulip
a little,
172
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:19,171
Let her have a good time?
It's just for a few hours.
173
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:22,841
(sighs)
okay. We can be fun adults.
174
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,311
Exactly. But we can't kill her.
175
00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,781
This is her?
176
00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:30,115
Yup. I'm tuca.
177
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,250
I'm ready to have
sexual intercourse
178
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,786
With a pile of rakesmen.
179
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:36,855
Oh, everyone who goes to a game
thinks it's so easy
180
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,257
To bang an entire team
of athletes.
181
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,326
But nobody's done it.
182
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,195
I got close years ago.
183
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,530
Now I can barely
look at a hot dog wiener
184
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:48,000
Without bursting into tears.
185
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:49,133
(sobbing)
186
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,869
I pray every day
that people will order
187
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:54,673
The chicken tenders...
But they never do.
188
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,740
(crying)
189
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,209
Well, I came in here
190
00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,678
With hubristic notions
and swinging hips.
191
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,815
Now I can't even
slide a key into a lock
192
00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:05,417
Without remembering
I'm a failure.
193
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,886
A jingling, jangling failure.
194
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,955
Oh, and I can't even back up
into a tight spot.
195
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,625
Don't even ask me to drive
a stick shift.
196
00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:16,294
Wait, please listen.
197
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,497
My sisters of the stadium,
198
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:22,234
Tuca is the one. She can do it.
199
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,301
It's too hard.
200
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:26,171
Hey, everybody!
I know I can do this.
201
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,507
And I can help you all
get your grind back, too.
202
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,042
Here's some of my stats.
203
00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:33,645
When I was 22, I (honk)
a (boing) out of a (boing).
204
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:37,049
My record for most (squeak)
in a night is 74.
205
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,719
One time I (whistle)
while skydiving (whistle)
206
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:43,388
Into a giant, juicy (boing).
207
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,656
It was an (bleep).
208
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,092
Plus, look at this.
209
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,901
She is... The one.
210
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,140
And now each team must pay
a youth to rake for them.
211
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:05,210
Can they finish the task
and maintain clean piles
212
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,414
Despite their
juvenile lassitude?
213
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,417
(crowd cheering)
214
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:15,553
Come on.
Please rake the leaves. Please.
215
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:16,955
(laughing)
216
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:19,157
Ha. I had to buy our son
the same thing.
217
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,159
Oh, yeah. You just got to do
whatever you can
218
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,560
To keep them happy.
(chuckles)
219
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:23,629
And alive.
220
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,431
Anything that works, am I right?
221
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,099
(chuckles)
that is correct.
222
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:30,769
Before I had kids, I was so
careful and nervous around them.
223
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,037
But now I'm like you guys.
224
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,306
I'm all, "just have fun, kiddo.
225
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,574
"go ahead and shove dirt
straight down your gullet.
226
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:37,909
See if I care."
227
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,178
It's nice to meet
other cool parents.
228
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,448
Most adults are so uptight.
229
00:09:42,450 --> 00:09:44,182
Us? Cool?
230
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,384
And how old is she?
Your daughter?
231
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,988
Oh. Tulip's actually,
she's, um...
232
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,057
Our daughter, yes!
233
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:57,395
And she's five, six, seven--
six and a half-- three-quarters.
234
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,198
6 3/4. Eh.
235
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,468
Yup. Tulip's our own
little hatchling.
236
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:07,272
And my name is...
Ch-christopher, with a "v."
237
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,075
And... Tulip's
a musical prodigy.
238
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,144
-Wow.
-Eh.
239
00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:13,345
She plays the horn.
240
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:14,612
Oh. Which one?
241
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,882
Well, you know, the one that has
a lot of, uh, buttons,
242
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,416
And you can wear it as pants.
243
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:23,489
And it goes, "wam, bwam."
you know that one?
244
00:10:23,491 --> 00:10:24,823
Impressive.
245
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,493
It's so nice to hang out
with other parents.
246
00:10:27,495 --> 00:10:30,696
-Oh, absolutely.
-So nice.
247
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,431
New friends.
248
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,568
♪ I know I'm set for glory ♪
249
00:10:36,570 --> 00:10:40,105
-Mmm. Uh... (laughs)
-♪ nothing's gonna stop me now ♪
250
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,841
♪ here's my story ♪
251
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,309
Uh-huh.
252
00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:46,178
♪ and no one's gonna
tell me how ♪
253
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,280
-♪ I gotta do it right ♪
-(laughing)
254
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,717
♪ I'm gonna
shine bright tonight. ♪
255
00:10:51,719 --> 00:10:53,551
(all laughing)
256
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:57,389
Tuca, you've done
so much to help us.
257
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:59,858
Now there's just the matter
of humping that team.
258
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,728
No! We can't let her do it.
She'll get hurt.
259
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:06,398
But she's the one.
She can get us out of here.
260
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,601
She must save herself.
No one will ever free us.
261
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,469
She'll be sucked into the curse.
262
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:14,005
-What now?
-Ah, we got to tell her.
263
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:19,611
Fine. Okay. Tuca, there's
a curse on this stadium.
264
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,348
An entire team must get screwed,
265
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:25,817
And six full orgasms
must be achieved.
266
00:11:25,819 --> 00:11:27,085
And good ones, too.
267
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,687
None of those
weird little numb ones.
268
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,557
If there aren't six players laid
269
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:35,493
And six female climaxes achieved
before night falls on game day,
270
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,429
Anyone who attempts
to break the curse
271
00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:40,032
Is trapped
in the stadium forever.
272
00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,300
Oh, we've been here for decades.
273
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,035
We sleep on the field.
274
00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,637
(crickets chirping)
275
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:46,704
(snoring)
276
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,308
So, anyone have a new crush?
277
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,311
Nobody has ever successfully
broken the curse.
278
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,514
If you try and fail,
you'll be stuck here with us,
279
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,985
And you'll have
to work at the gift shop.
280
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,987
Well, it's the crappiest job
281
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,122
Because you have to sell
collectibles
282
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,258
To the worst kind of nerd...
283
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,594
-Jock nerds.
-(cawing)
284
00:12:08,596 --> 00:12:09,727
Damn.
285
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,796
I'm not worried.
286
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,530
-None of this worries me.
-Really?
287
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,667
Six orgasms is nothing to me.
I can be super horny.
288
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,436
Just watch.
289
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,408
-(gasps)
-ho-ho-ho!
290
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,277
(buzzing)
291
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:29,347
She's even more the one
than she was before.
292
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,950
The one-iest one.
293
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,919
She is ready.
294
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:39,024
Yeah, tommy. Good raking
technique. Keep up the pace.
295
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,426
Eyes on the leaves, boys.
296
00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:44,095
I'm seeing clusters,
and I want to see piles.
297
00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:46,097
-(cheering)
-good work. Good hustle.
298
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:48,900
(whoops)
rake it, honey! Ow.
299
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,368
(panting)
300
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,536
(grunts)
301
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,571
Ow!
302
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,841
(laughs)
nice!
303
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:58,176
This game is so dumb.
304
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,911
So, yeah,
me and bertie and tulip
305
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,648
All live in, like,
a big house, but it's tasteful.
306
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:06,985
And we grow all our own salads,
because I can keep plants alive.
307
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,522
And we own a swimming pool
full of candy.
308
00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:11,790
We do.
309
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,191
Yes, we do.
310
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,860
You know, work keeps me
pretty busy,
311
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,128
Since I run everything at, uh,
312
00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,797
My own restaurant.
313
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,199
Bertie's family restaurant.
314
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,669
Yeah, and I'm
a stay-at-home dad.
315
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:26,338
The second I looked
into little tulip's eyes,
316
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:29,941
I knew I was no longer
just a person.
317
00:13:30,144 --> 00:13:32,077
I was now a father.
318
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,813
You love being a father.
319
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:38,350
Yeah. It just gives my days
so much structure and meaning.
320
00:13:38,352 --> 00:13:40,886
-It's so fulfilling.
-Um, wow.
321
00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:42,921
And I'm a... A mom.
322
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:46,224
Look at you. You've got it all.
323
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,293
(chuckles nervously)
sure do.
324
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:52,197
Wow. We're both
in telemarketing.
325
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,766
Announcer man:
Now our players are doing
326
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:57,235
What every raker must do
mid-rake--
327
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:00,038
Pause to stare
into middle distance
328
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,908
And marvel at the slow
passage of time.
329
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,110
Another summer come and gone.
330
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,579
Soon we will be as the leaves,
331
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,716
Our days of splendor
long forgotten.
332
00:14:10,718 --> 00:14:12,317
Watch us tumble, tumble,
333
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:17,122
Tumble on our irreversible
descent to earth.
334
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,991
And now for our halftime show:
335
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:22,728
A dead rabbit
slowly decomposing.
336
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:25,297
(cheering)
337
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:28,600
There it is, the players' lair.
338
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:30,268
Halftime is starting.
339
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,538
-(slaps)
-go get those hot ciders, tuca.
340
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:33,939
All six of 'em.
341
00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:35,341
Thank you for believing in me
342
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,876
And my ability to bounce
from wiener to wiener.
343
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,545
I won't let you down.
344
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,949
Oh. It's you!
345
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,483
Oh-ho-ho. Howdy.
346
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,353
Gosh. You're glowing
like a porch light,
347
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:49,621
And I feel
like a big old June beetle.
348
00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:51,757
Yeah. Come to tuca.
349
00:14:51,759 --> 00:14:54,492
Yes, ma'am. I am down to sashay.
350
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,895
(grunting rhythmically)
351
00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,630
(laughing)
352
00:14:58,832 --> 00:14:59,697
Whoa, tulip.
353
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,166
E-easy girl.
(chuckles nervously)
354
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:02,568
(growling)
355
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,436
Here. Do you want to play
a game on my phone?
356
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:06,905
-(synthesizer music playing)
-ah...
357
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,307
Clickity-clicks. Lighty-lights.
358
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,643
In-app purchasy-purchases.
359
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:14,712
Uh, you know, a-actually,
I'm gonna take that back.
360
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:16,114
(crunch)
361
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,583
Ow! Okay. It didn't
break the skin.
362
00:15:17,785 --> 00:15:19,585
I think it was just
a warning. Huh.
363
00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:21,119
(screaming)
364
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,520
I want phone!
365
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,723
My phone baby!
Give me back my baby!
366
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,659
-(crying)
-hey, kiddo.
367
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,527
Let's just save
some of this energy
368
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,063
For horn rehearsal tonight.
369
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:35,267
Or, as us horn parents say,
"rehornsal."
370
00:15:35,469 --> 00:15:36,468
-(groans)
-(giggling)
371
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:37,869
Speckle, let her have some fun.
372
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,805
Come on, she'll burn
this energy off eventually.
373
00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:41,139
You push her too hard.
374
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,208
She can have fun doing
something calmer
375
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:44,676
And less bite-y.
376
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:46,678
Look at gavin.
377
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,280
♪ ♪
378
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:51,549
(giggles)
watch me swim. Whee!
379
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:55,020
Ah. Now do you see why we need
more boundaries with her?
380
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,155
It's basic parenting.
381
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,290
(screaming)
382
00:15:58,492 --> 00:16:01,093
Oh, no. We killed her!
383
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,427
(giggling)
384
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:05,197
Ah! She's still alive!
385
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,833
(moaning)
386
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,102
Announcer man:
Things are heating up.
Oh, it's on, folks.
387
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:11,769
It's happening.
388
00:16:11,772 --> 00:16:13,105
(moaning)
389
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,775
Figgy?
390
00:16:17,778 --> 00:16:19,478
Figgy!
391
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,125
Figgy!
392
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:37,863
(grunts)
393
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,865
Announcer man:
Oh, this is not pretty, folks.
394
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:42,134
It looks like they still haven't
gotten over their last loss.
395
00:16:42,336 --> 00:16:43,535
Hey, maybe we should stop.
396
00:16:43,537 --> 00:16:47,506
No! Pushing... Through... It.
397
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,008
Uh, no offense, ma'am,
398
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,743
But that pelvis sounds like
a broken woodchipper, and, uh,
399
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,545
It's making my pecker
freeze up something fierce.
400
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,680
(sighs)
401
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,081
Let me just think
some horny thoughts.
402
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,617
Sex. Sex with people.
403
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,888
Ooh, sex with objects. Sexy sex.
404
00:17:02,890 --> 00:17:04,823
(engine stalling)
405
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,692
Announcer man:
And you hate to see this, folks.
406
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:09,695
They're really forcing
an unnatural play here,
407
00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,897
-And it is not flowing.
-(groaning)
408
00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:13,899
(crying):
I can't do it!
409
00:17:13,901 --> 00:17:16,135
(wailing)
410
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,905
(crowd cheering)
411
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:23,375
Where is she?
412
00:17:23,377 --> 00:17:25,511
See? I knew this would happen.
413
00:17:25,513 --> 00:17:27,045
She's halfway through
an epic sugar bender.
414
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,980
She's gonna crash
and tank her rehornsal tonight.
415
00:17:29,183 --> 00:17:32,918
She could use a little support
from her father right now.
416
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,522
Oh, easy for you to say.
417
00:17:36,724 --> 00:17:40,058
You're busy working long hours
while I raise our child!
418
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:41,727
That is so unfair!
419
00:17:41,729 --> 00:17:45,063
Who do you think pays
for all that horn tutoring, huh?
420
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,198
(panting)
421
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,333
-(grunts)
-(crowd cheering)
422
00:17:48,336 --> 00:17:50,068
-Whoa!
-Tulip?
423
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:51,069
-(giggles)
-tulip.
424
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,604
Whee! Whoa!
425
00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:54,339
(panting)
426
00:17:54,342 --> 00:17:56,274
-Wow!
-Damn it!
427
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,676
Look at me, mommy. I can fly.
428
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,612
Wait, why are we
fighting about this?
429
00:18:00,614 --> 00:18:02,480
Tulip's not even really our kid.
430
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,482
(crickets chirping)
431
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:07,219
Well, what about
when we do have kids?
432
00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:08,820
How is this going to work
433
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:10,889
If we have totally conflicting
parenting philosophies?
434
00:18:10,891 --> 00:18:13,359
I didn't realize
we were going to have kids.
435
00:18:13,561 --> 00:18:16,094
Well, I don't want to,
but you clearly do.
436
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:20,165
You said that stuff about how
meaningful fatherhood is to you.
437
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,367
I thought
we were making shit up!
438
00:18:22,370 --> 00:18:24,370
You said you could
keep plants alive!
439
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:25,837
But what if I'm holding you back
440
00:18:25,839 --> 00:18:27,773
From a happy life
of having children?
441
00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:29,441
You're so good with them.
442
00:18:29,643 --> 00:18:32,177
I just assumed you wanted
some of your own.
443
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:35,781
-Not at all!
-Nor I, neither!
444
00:18:35,983 --> 00:18:37,383
So we agree!
445
00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:41,052
Same page, all the way!
446
00:18:41,055 --> 00:18:42,421
(both sigh)
447
00:18:43,257 --> 00:18:45,991
(crowd cheering)
448
00:18:45,993 --> 00:18:47,393
(tulip giggles)
449
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,995
-Tulip.
-(whistle blows)
450
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,331
♪ ♪
451
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,066
(giggles)
452
00:18:54,268 --> 00:18:55,934
-Ah...!
-Whoa!
453
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,003
(crowd cheering)
454
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:04,276
(buzzing)
455
00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:05,677
♪ ♪
456
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:09,281
And the autumn warriors
win the game!
457
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,417
(chanting):
Terry! Terry!
458
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:13,485
Sweetie. You did it!
459
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:18,323
Yep. This was your dream,
and it was easy.
460
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,561
I (bleep) it up.
And not in a hot way.
461
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,898
Part of me wanted it so bad,
but I just couldn't.
462
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,567
Aw, yeah. It happens.
463
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,170
Your body can be
in pristine condition,
464
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,972
But if your mind isn't right...
465
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,307
I failed.
466
00:19:35,309 --> 00:19:37,575
My goal was to do
the entire team,
467
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,111
And none of them got done.
468
00:19:39,313 --> 00:19:42,047
Actually, tuca, listen.
469
00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:44,582
(moaning)
470
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:47,319
The entire team is getting did.
471
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,387
And it's all because of you.
472
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,589
(moaning)
473
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,859
Tuca, you helped us realize
474
00:19:53,861 --> 00:19:57,329
We've been holding
ourselves back all these years.
475
00:19:57,331 --> 00:19:59,064
We could've been
hotdogging each other
476
00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:01,599
And entire teams all along.
477
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,068
We were locked in the past.
478
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:05,803
That's how we failed ourselves
and lost our way.
479
00:20:05,806 --> 00:20:08,140
But you were the key
to our slots, tuca.
480
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:09,141
(whoops)
481
00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:10,542
Thank you for showing us
482
00:20:10,544 --> 00:20:13,211
How to believe in
ourselves again, tuca.
483
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,147
The curse is almost...
484
00:20:15,349 --> 00:20:17,949
(moaning)
485
00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:23,155
Okay, whew, that was six.
The curse is broken now!
486
00:20:23,357 --> 00:20:27,092
Oh, wow.
It smells funny in here.
487
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:28,826
Wow, this is real nice.
488
00:20:28,829 --> 00:20:30,628
I'm enjoying this postgame orgy.
489
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,630
Good for you, dude.
490
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,432
Hey, whose butt is that?
491
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,767
Oh... (laughs) not a butt.
492
00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:37,569
Just some ice cream.
I'm gonna eat these later.
493
00:20:37,571 --> 00:20:39,905
Oh, sounds good.
494
00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:40,972
More ice cream?
495
00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:43,441
Hi. (laughs) I'm a butt.
496
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,077
Got to get back to work now.
497
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,180
I guess I'm finally
admitting to myself
498
00:20:48,382 --> 00:20:50,315
That I'm really sad about
breaking up with figgy.
499
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:53,451
Yeah, but that doesn't mean
you can't (bleep).
500
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,054
Look down.
501
00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,123
You're back in action.
502
00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:01,659
Yeah, but now I got
no one to do it with.
503
00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:05,197
Not no one. Look down again.
504
00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:06,865
(both grunting)
505
00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:12,071
And that's
how I think sex works.
506
00:21:13,140 --> 00:21:14,339
Oh.
507
00:21:14,342 --> 00:21:16,342
So... Sorry we lied.
508
00:21:16,544 --> 00:21:18,276
Oh, it's no biggie.
509
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:19,545
We were lying, too.
510
00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:20,879
We're grifters.
511
00:21:20,881 --> 00:21:23,415
Here you go.
I grifted your wallet.
512
00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:25,751
Wow. What?
Is this even your son?
513
00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:28,486
Oh, yeah. He's top of his class
at grifting school.
514
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,155
Actually, dad, I made that up.
515
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:33,358
I've just been going
to the arcade this whole time.
516
00:21:33,361 --> 00:21:35,293
It was a grift.
517
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:36,895
Aw. That's our boy.
518
00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:39,364
(chuckles)
excellent grift, son.
519
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,066
-(sighs)
-ooh-wee.
520
00:21:41,101 --> 00:21:42,300
Oh.
521
00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:47,172
Wait, where are you going?
The curse has been lifted.
522
00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:49,441
We know. But we still live here.
523
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:50,776
This is our home.
524
00:21:50,978 --> 00:21:52,578
It's so dark out there.
525
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:54,980
I can't sleep without
the stadium lights
526
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,448
Beaming down on me.
527
00:21:56,450 --> 00:22:00,052
Plus, this way, we can keep
(bleep)ing more teams.
528
00:22:00,254 --> 00:22:02,254
(cheering)
529
00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:03,422
Yeah, baby!
530
00:22:05,593 --> 00:22:07,793
♪ we're raking it up ♪
531
00:22:07,795 --> 00:22:09,395
♪ raking it up tonight ♪
532
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,933
♪ we're raking it up ♪
533
00:22:15,135 --> 00:22:17,169
♪ till the feeling's right ♪
534
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,141
♪ oh, I want you
to rake me there ♪
535
00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:24,943
♪ rake it all night ♪
536
00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:26,411
♪ it's just not fair ♪
537
00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:28,614
♪ oh, baby ♪
538
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:30,916
♪ raking it up ♪
539
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,687
♪ oh, baby ♪
540
00:22:35,689 --> 00:22:37,856
♪ raking me down. ♪
541
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,627
(squishing)
542
00:22:41,629 --> 00:22:44,963
Dang it.
I'm never invited to these.
543
00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:47,599
(dogs barking)