1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,903 -♪ ♪ -(water splashing) 2 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,507 (vacuum whirring) 3 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,434 (both sigh) 4 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,023 ♪ tuca and bertie and tuca and bertie and bertie and tuca ♪ 5 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,824 ♪ and tuca and bertie, tuca and bertie ♪ 6 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,559 ♪ tu-tu-tuca ♪ 7 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,229 -♪ tuca ♪ -♪ and bertie. ♪ 8 00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:32,564 (vocalizing) 9 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,154 -(beeps) -anti-cramp pills for tuca. 10 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,640 -(groans) -hmm. 11 00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,776 Your prescription has expired, so you'll have to visit a doctor 12 00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,694 to confirm you have a thing you already know you have. 13 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,914 But I'm in pain now! Look at my face. 14 00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:50,532 (sobbing) 15 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,286 sorry, can't do anything without a fresh, ripe prescription. 16 00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:55,537 Whatever, I'm not going 17 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,256 all the way to the hospital for that. 18 00:00:57,341 --> 00:00:58,990 Okay, have a happy fledging day. 19 00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,210 Have you called your mother yet to thank her for fledging you? 20 00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:04,596 Nope, she's dead, but fledge you for asking. 21 00:01:04,682 --> 00:01:06,381 That's right, it's a day-ruiner. 22 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,134 Now you feel as shitty as I do. Kablam! 23 00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:11,854 -(grunting rhythmically) -hmm. 24 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:13,972 (chewing noises) 25 00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:15,224 (sighs) oh! 26 00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,675 I know what'll make me feel better: 27 00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,343 Buying some crap I don't need. 28 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,412 (groans) moms don't want balloons. 29 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,281 They just want their autonomy back. 30 00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:23,782 Get out of here. 31 00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:29,955 Ooh! Flowers always make me happy. 32 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,541 -(clamoring) -let go! 33 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,377 -I need these for my mom. -Let go. 34 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,296 My mother needs flowers! 35 00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,030 Without today's blossoms... 36 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:43,302 (deep voice): Mater will perish, so says the curse. 37 00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:45,220 Damn it! Is anything in this store 38 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,889 not about this stupid holiday? 39 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,258 Don't worry, tomorrow this will all be on sale, 40 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,926 and we'll start selling cadaveri candy. 41 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,177 Cadaveri candy? 42 00:01:52,263 --> 00:01:54,263 It's only eggprill. What's next? 43 00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:57,232 Selling molting day gifts in the month of jam? 44 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,774 I'll help you clean after I finish this job application. 45 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,911 Hey, what's the etiquette on using a boss as a reference 46 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,747 after you told them to go snorkeling in your turds? 47 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,283 -Uh... -Damn this holiday. 48 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,785 What kind of sick society celebrates motherhood? 49 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,922 Tuca, I told you not to shop for mylar balloons today. 50 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,456 (belches) 51 00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,426 my mom will be here any minute. You could join us. 52 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,261 Oh, yeah, it could be fun. Please! 53 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,246 Nice try, bertie. I'm not gonna be the buffer 54 00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,631 for your awkward mom hang. 55 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,084 Even though your mom lo-lo-lo-lo-loves me. 56 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:36,605 Fine, but I've got a plan for a smooth fledging day. 57 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,774 We'll get a quick lunch, quick mani-pedis, 58 00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,526 and if we run out of stuff to talk about, 59 00:02:40,611 --> 00:02:42,394 I'll switch to the fail-safe: 60 00:02:42,479 --> 00:02:45,063 Shit-talking my mom's nutty neighbor. 61 00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:48,817 We'll rip her to shreds like two lionesses devouring a gazelle. 62 00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,486 Our conversation will flow like blood. 63 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,322 I feel like you've mentioned you'd like to have 64 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,040 a deeper connection with her. 65 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,125 Why don't you ask your mom some questions about herself? 66 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,544 -Get her to open up. -Ooh! 67 00:02:58,629 --> 00:03:00,495 Ask her what her biggest disappointment is, 68 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,631 and if she doesn't answer, you'll know that it's you. 69 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,917 No. The more we avoid feelings, the better. 70 00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:08,337 This woman does not experience emotions the same way we do. 71 00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,421 Look how she texts. 72 00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:10,889 I wrote, "I love you, mom! 73 00:03:10,975 --> 00:03:13,342 And then, two whole days later, she responded, 74 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,143 "there is a sale on pants." 75 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,396 what pants? For me, for you? 76 00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,097 I'm only interested in a pants sale 77 00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:21,233 if they're half off. Get it? They're shorts. 78 00:03:21,318 --> 00:03:23,569 (laughing) 79 00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:30,025 (laughing): Even for me, that's a good one. 80 00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,244 Shorts. Whew. 81 00:03:32,329 --> 00:03:34,246 -(sighs) -(knocking) 82 00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:36,281 hi, mom, here, ooh, let me take that. 83 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:37,866 Hi. I brought a bunch of your things. 84 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:41,753 Ew! My childhood mementos. Take it back, take it back! 85 00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:43,839 -All right, I'll just throw them away. -No! 86 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,090 They are precious to me, 87 00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:47,209 but only when they're in my childhood bedroom. 88 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,928 They depreciate the moment you drive them off the lot! 89 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:52,664 Well, we needed to clear space so we can use it for storage. 90 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,683 Mom, your house is piled with clutter. 91 00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,602 The last thing you need is to store more junk. 92 00:03:56,687 --> 00:03:58,971 Tuca, I heard about your health issues. 93 00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:00,505 I brought you some tea. 94 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,641 It's supposed to help with cramps. 95 00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,811 Ooh! Is that ginger? It's already working. 96 00:04:05,896 --> 00:04:06,895 Thanks, anna! 97 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,363 Could I get some of that specialty? 98 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,698 I get cramps, too. 99 00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,117 Because you eat too many spicy chips. 100 00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:13,735 -(bertie grunts) -(chewing) 101 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,287 (laughing) 102 00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:17,039 aw! 103 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,909 (laughter) 104 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,411 bertie: Hmm. 105 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,998 Uh, would you take a picture of me and my wonderful daughter 106 00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,699 who I am very proud of? 107 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,585 I'm the one who's so proud 108 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:35,057 of the super emotionally available woman who fledged me. 109 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:39,261 -Say "healthy relationship." -both: Healthy relationship. 110 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,647 -(phone camera clicks) -oh! Here. 111 00:04:41,732 --> 00:04:43,565 -Aw! -Aw, isn't that nice? 112 00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,651 -Gosh, we're so happy. -(groans) 113 00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,853 so, how's that nutty neighbor of yours doing? 114 00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:50,355 Is she still keeping her molting day lights up 115 00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,941 all year round, like a wild animal? 116 00:04:53,744 --> 00:04:55,894 Actually, carlotta and I are friends now. 117 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,363 We bonded because we both have adult daughters 118 00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:00,082 who are unmarried. 119 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,734 Oh, well, uh, how's your garden? 120 00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,954 My tomato plant died, so I stopped gardening. 121 00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:09,124 (regurgitating) 122 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,463 -others: Aw! -(groans in disgust) 123 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,766 and would you like to take part in the regurgitation ritual, 124 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,102 to thank your mom for all the times 125 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,804 she regurgitated for you when you were a baby? 126 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,422 We have a special fledging day menu 127 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,109 that includes a regurgitation cake. 128 00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,860 -Uh... -Um... 129 00:05:28,946 --> 00:05:31,063 No, thank you. We'll just be gurgitating today. 130 00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:34,950 Very good. Two non-barf meals coming right up. 131 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,068 Hmm. 132 00:05:36,153 --> 00:05:38,837 (regurgitating noisily) 133 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,139 ♪ ♪ 134 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,608 what boring porn site are you on? 135 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,212 Oh, actually, I'm updating my website and my résumé. 136 00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,463 Speckle, no! 137 00:05:49,299 --> 00:05:53,335 Due to budgetary cuts, we can't afford computers for the school. 138 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,721 -Ho! -(gasping) 139 00:05:57,141 --> 00:05:59,808 -(cheering, gasping) -(gasps) darn. 140 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,794 Aw, man, I use that for work! 141 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,680 -And for looking at boring porn. -Stop trying to be productive. 142 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,766 This period, right after you get canned, 143 00:06:07,851 --> 00:06:09,568 is a beautiful, magical time 144 00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:10,902 where nothing matters and you can be 145 00:06:10,988 --> 00:06:13,805 a thick, warm loaf of laziness. 146 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:17,542 Take it from me, a bird who's been fired from over 50 jobs. 147 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,028 I don't know how not to be productive. 148 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,830 Look, I even made a vision board. 149 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,832 See? This is me, but I have a job. 150 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,251 And here are some waterfalls that I thought looked pretty. 151 00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:28,754 -Uh-- dang it. -Speckle, 152 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,372 you're gonna be my project today. 153 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,706 I'm projecting. 154 00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,793 During this special period of unemployment, 155 00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,294 your body will be changing, 156 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,297 emitting new scents, growing hair in new areas. 157 00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:40,715 (sniffs) oh. 158 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,018 -You'll have wild mood swings. -No, I won't! 159 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,137 You'll tell people to get off your case. 160 00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:47,022 Actually, you are standing on my briefcase. 161 00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,724 And you'll experience strange new urges. 162 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,010 (gasps) should I go to grad school? 163 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,344 No notes. 164 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,448 I'm your loaf coach, and it's time to slob you up. 165 00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:59,151 ♪ ♪ 166 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,882 my masterpiece is complete. 167 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,967 Bertie: Look, mom! 168 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,136 Here's what I've been working on at wintersnacks. 169 00:07:18,222 --> 00:07:22,707 So, you don't run your own bakery anymore? 170 00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,160 No, I closed it. Remember? 171 00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,478 But it's great. 172 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,612 I've had all these successes 173 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,013 since joining winter's company. 174 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,283 I made a salad that's bad for you. 175 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,751 Hmm. 176 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,986 Look, check out these ingredients. 177 00:07:35,072 --> 00:07:37,222 "trace amounts of blueberry extract." 178 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,074 yeah, that-that's me! I did that. 179 00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:42,494 Winter agreed with my opinion that it adds a little something. 180 00:07:42,579 --> 00:07:44,562 So, anyways, if you eat this, 181 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,164 you're eating something I worked on. 182 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,666 Well, I wouldn't eat it. 183 00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:49,868 It has a high glycemic index. 184 00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:51,369 (groans) 185 00:07:51,455 --> 00:07:54,239 what about all those cute little bird pastries you used to sell? 186 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,008 Mom, I tried having my own bakery, but I wasn't ready. 187 00:07:57,094 --> 00:07:59,961 It's a relief to not be the public face of something. 188 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,631 Here, look at all these mean comments 189 00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,049 wintersnacks gets online. 190 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,646 See? None of this is directed at me. 191 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,698 Nobody cares who I am, and it's great. 192 00:08:19,783 --> 00:08:21,283 I don't have to take out loans, 193 00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,318 or worry about inspections or insurance 194 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,736 or whether my employees hate me 195 00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,655 or are projecting weird mommy issues onto me. 196 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,240 I can just bake. 197 00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:30,876 Well, I just don't see what you get out of it. 198 00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:32,010 (groans) 199 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,879 bertie, you should make these. 200 00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,447 Mom, that food already exists. 201 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,631 I don't need to make it. 202 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,416 I bet the mother of whoever made it 203 00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:39,885 is very proud. 204 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,004 Yeah, mom. I'm sure they are. 205 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,389 (screams) 206 00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,476 great lazing in there, specko. 207 00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,461 You look completely worthless. 208 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,796 Oh, you think that's good? 209 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,098 Watch this. 210 00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:55,650 I don't even have to use my hands. 211 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,574 I was wrong. You're not worthless. 212 00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:05,360 -You're a delicious picante dip. -Thanks. 213 00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:08,613 What are you gonna do, speckle? 214 00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:12,534 (groaning): I'm so tired. 215 00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,819 Bravo! Excellent work. 216 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,988 So, what do I do now? 217 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,507 Now you invest too much money in a bunch of hobbies 218 00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,792 that you'll never keep up with. 219 00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:22,877 Here, find some stupid activities 220 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,846 to get you overly invested in. 221 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,683 Ooh, they have the architecture pen I've been looking for. 222 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,887 It's a normal pen, but it says "architecture rules" on it. 223 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,639 (chuckles) all the pros have one. 224 00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:36,358 No work. Hobbies only. 225 00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,510 Now put in your credit card and get the instant delivery. 226 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,845 You need it now, speckle. 227 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:43,315 Your very self-worth depends on it. 228 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,484 (groaning) 229 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,571 here's your order. I'm so sorry I'm late. 230 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,122 Happy fledging day. 231 00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:52,991 What did you get? A skateboard, 232 00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:56,361 a classic guitar, a how to learn spanish series. 233 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,463 And is that a jujitsu gi? 234 00:09:58,548 --> 00:10:00,715 -Yes. -Excellent work. 235 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,301 Woman: Hey, where's my delivery? 236 00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,970 I'm coming! Coming! 237 00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,471 (panting, grunting) 238 00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:09,140 -(screaming) -(thuds) 239 00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:12,377 no, no, no, no, no. You must never practice 240 00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,511 any of these hobbies. 241 00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:14,929 Only buy increasingly expensive 242 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,714 accessories and upgrades for them. 243 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,217 But I enjoy doing things, 244 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,386 and I still need something to define me. 245 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,105 What am I? A guitarist, a skateboarder? 246 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,557 Someone who fights people in a robe? (cries) 247 00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,694 I miss when my whole deal was just being an architect. 248 00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:31,062 -Speckle. -Ow! 249 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,081 You need to learn that a job is just a job. 250 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,750 It can't define you, and it'll never love you back. 251 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,869 No matter how good of a job it is. 252 00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:40,738 I have a great job, and you think I give a shit? 253 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,123 I'm supposed to be there right now. 254 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,075 And to your left you'll see the bank 255 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,011 where I opened a joint checking account 256 00:10:46,096 --> 00:10:48,179 with my pet jaguar. 257 00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:50,098 (screaming) 258 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,749 you think I'm worried about it? 259 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,084 Nothing bothers me. 260 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,353 -Ouch! -Uh, you okay, tuca? 261 00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:58,056 I'm fine. I'm gonna go sit on my fire escape 262 00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:00,308 and hit people with water balloons full of soup. 263 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,261 -It helps distract me from the pain. -Okay. 264 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,564 Your job is to stay put, stay lazy and remember: 265 00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:09,484 These hobbies are for you to feel guilty about. 266 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,403 No touching. 267 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,826 -Ow! -Uh-uh. 268 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,179 Ortunity. 269 00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,214 One of your dad's coworker's cousins says 270 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,249 they need a cook for her kid's day care. 271 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,352 You'd have to put peanut butter on the celery. 272 00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,853 You can do that, right? 273 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,755 Mom, I already have a job. 274 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,691 I work for chef winter garcia. 275 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,275 At least at a day care, everyone would know 276 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,277 you made the food, unlike with winter. 277 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,645 I like working for winter. 278 00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,147 Well, what's so great about a woman 279 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:42,317 who can't even come up with her own pastry ideas? 280 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,703 Well, hmm, just for starters, she's a fierce, 281 00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,371 shrewd, independent business owner. 282 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,823 She's emotionally intelligent, communicative. 283 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,493 Plus, she's really organized, tidy. 284 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,961 She's a great role model. 285 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,797 She's become a real mother figure to me. 286 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,449 -Oh. -I mean, uh... 287 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,919 She's a fine non-mommy boss. 288 00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:04,288 It's a decent workplace. Wow, here we are at the spa. 289 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,623 Time to get mani-pedis. 290 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,559 Healthy mother-daughter activity. 291 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,960 (entry bell chimes) 292 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,628 two mani-pedis, please. 293 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,679 This is a bathhouse. 294 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,565 We don't mani any pedis here, 295 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,983 but we can scrub all the dead feathers 296 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,467 off your body while you wince in pain. 297 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,938 Oh, no, this spot isn't for hands and feet. 298 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,657 This is for butts and boobs! 299 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,576 -(heart thumping fast) -what should we do? Should we leave? 300 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,977 I-it might not be your thing. 301 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,862 It can be my thing if you want it to. 302 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,249 I can do whatever. I'm open and communicative. 303 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,535 Besides, it's a "buy one, get one" deal. 304 00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,987 -How could I refuse a bogo? -Okay. 305 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,872 Then we're doing this. 306 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,541 Not too late to say no. 307 00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,594 Here's everything you need and please sign this waiver. 308 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,095 In case of a fire, you agree 309 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,131 you'll have to run barebutt into the street. 310 00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:48,332 No returning to the lockers for belongings or clothes. 311 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,019 -Barebutt. -Uh... 312 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,138 ♪ ♪ 313 00:12:56,226 --> 00:12:57,675 (sighs) 314 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,694 mom, you can take that off. 315 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,313 It's not a big deal. Everyone else is nude. 316 00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:05,700 It's just that you haven't seen my body in a long time, 317 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,652 and it's different now. 318 00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:09,287 Mom, it's okay. 319 00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,793 (chirping) 320 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,997 (ladies laugh) 321 00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:28,006 uh, did you say "grandchildren"? 322 00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:29,390 Cheep-cheepity chirp chirp. 323 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,758 (laughs) 324 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,895 what the...? Uh, that is not what I meant to say. 325 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,897 (anna and ladies laugh) 326 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,935 (sighs) 327 00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,387 -skateboard: Yo, yo, specks! -Oh, shit! 328 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,556 Skateboard: You should totally ride me right now. 329 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,660 Your 30s is the best time to learn a sport for teenagers. 330 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,863 Dang, I'm already overestimating how cool I would look. 331 00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,365 No, tuca said I can't touch you. 332 00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:56,167 -Guitar: Hey, specks. -(chords strumming) 333 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,369 why don't you learn a quick chord progression, huh? 334 00:13:58,455 --> 00:14:02,340 You can take me to parties. You'll be a living jukebox. 335 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,575 -(twangs) -(moans) 336 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,927 no practicing. 337 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,545 -I promised tu... -Book: Ábreme. 338 00:14:07,631 --> 00:14:08,596 Aprende de mi. 339 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,765 Uh, what does that mean? 340 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,617 Book: Exactamente. 341 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,135 Buenos días. 342 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,754 Book: Sí. Sí, señor speckle. 343 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,723 (spanish accent): Oh, no. 344 00:14:18,808 --> 00:14:21,226 ♪ ♪ 345 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,491 (sighs) this is so nice. 346 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,243 You like this adult ball pit? 347 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:41,129 -You're having a good time? -Yes. Are you? 348 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:44,082 I actually am. You know, we should do this more often. 349 00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,617 Make this our fledging day tradition, huh? 350 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,553 Just tossing an idea out there. 351 00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,121 Feel free to shoot it down. 352 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,455 Then maybe one fledging day, 353 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,508 your daughter will take you here. 354 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,226 Okay. 355 00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:56,678 Mom, about that. 356 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,129 I'm not planning on having a daughter 357 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,431 or a son or any kids at all. 358 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,135 (sobbing) 359 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,654 oh, my god, mom. You can't do that in here. 360 00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,773 It disintegrates the balls. 361 00:15:08,858 --> 00:15:12,827 You're not having kids? 362 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,996 Ugh, I knew this would happen. 363 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,949 I'm just so happy for you. 364 00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:22,120 I'm really glad you know what you want. 365 00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,422 What? So you're not mad 366 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,758 that you'll never be a grandma and you'll never get 367 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,293 to pinch cheeks and knit sweaters 368 00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:30,545 and palm your grandkids a wad of cash and wink, 369 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:33,548 but then when they look at it, it's, like, two bucks? 370 00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,849 Of course not, bertie. 371 00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,834 I'm just always so worried about you, 372 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,636 and I want you to have everything 373 00:15:38,722 --> 00:15:40,221 and fly so far. 374 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,506 But I had a whole life before you, 375 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,142 and sometimes I wonder. 376 00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:46,894 You see, I was really hot, bertie. 377 00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,529 I had a great ass. 378 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,848 -Oh, my god. -And I love your father so much, 379 00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,533 but he isn't very romantic, 380 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,986 and his ass is a five at best. 381 00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:56,788 -Whoa. -And an ex-flame of mine 382 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,574 wants to meet me for drinks in bird town tonight. 383 00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:00,792 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 384 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,193 And I don't know what to do. 385 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,995 It would be nice to see him and catch up, 386 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,463 and maybe he'd pay attention to me 387 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,498 and compliment me a little. That's all I want. 388 00:16:07,584 --> 00:16:09,384 But I'm just so confused. 389 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,502 (sobbing) 390 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,539 mom, you can meet him for a drink. 391 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,675 It's not a big deal. It's just a drink. 392 00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:19,060 You have to live a little. 393 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,212 Really? I don't even know what to say to him. 394 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,182 I can help you. Ooh! I'll be your flirt coach. 395 00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:27,018 -Could tuca come? -No. 396 00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:29,354 (tuca laughing) 397 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:33,441 (groans) 398 00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,576 (grunting) 399 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,698 there you go, sweetie. Got to buckle up for mommy. 400 00:16:40,784 --> 00:16:42,566 Let's keep you nice and safe. 401 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,868 (tuca groans loudly) 402 00:16:43,953 --> 00:16:45,370 huh? 403 00:16:45,455 --> 00:16:47,205 Goddamn it! 404 00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:49,924 Speckle: ♪ hola, mi amor ♪ 405 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,760 ♪ ¿tienes algo de mostaza? ♪ 406 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,046 ♪ me llamo speckle ♪ 407 00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:58,749 ♪ esa es mi casa ♪ 408 00:16:58,852 --> 00:16:59,801 ♪ bicicleta ♪ 409 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,386 ♪ biblioteca ♪ 410 00:17:01,471 --> 00:17:06,757 ♪ mochila, mochila, mochila. ♪ 411 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,477 -(cheering and applause) -boo! 412 00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,479 At least you still don't know jujitsu! 413 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,897 Yeah, you suck! 414 00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:14,732 (speckle grunting) 415 00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,200 (grunts, chokes) 416 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,436 well done. Nice anaconda hold. 417 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,205 What the heck? You're the worst layabout ever. 418 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,257 And the worst at following my advice. 419 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,343 And you're excellent at spanish. 420 00:17:25,428 --> 00:17:26,594 Gracias. 421 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,946 (speaking spanish) 422 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,788 -what does that mean? -Oh, I have no idea. 423 00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,058 I-I'm sorry, tuca. I can't help it. 424 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,676 My parents raised me to be industrious 425 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,311 and productive above all else. 426 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,480 Well, I was brought up to lounge and loiter. 427 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,932 My mom was so busy working all the time to support us 428 00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:49,400 that I was left alone. 429 00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,519 -A total latchtree kid. -Oh. 430 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,021 Then she died, and everything was such a mess. 431 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,858 What good was all of her hard work anyways? 432 00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,026 (crying): What good was any of it 433 00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,644 if it didn't even save her life? 434 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,081 And what good are my stupid pain pills 435 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,083 if I'm gonna feel worse every month? 436 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,702 My mom's dead, I'll always be in pain, 437 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,004 and nothing matters. Who cares?! 438 00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:13,324 Tuca, I care. 439 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,161 ♪ tu eres importante ♪ 440 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,380 ♪ para mi. ♪ 441 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,883 (grunts) perdóname. 442 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,269 (whispering): Okay, mom. I came up with a great plan. 443 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,004 Pay close attention, okay? 444 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,056 Listen up. I'm gonna sit here, 445 00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:30,641 and I'm gonna tell you what to say to him. 446 00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:32,610 -Good plan. -(door opens, bell jingles) 447 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,278 oh! He's here. 448 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,948 It's okay. Just say what I say. 449 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,117 Hello... 450 00:18:39,903 --> 00:18:41,852 I already forgot his name. 451 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,955 -Hello, alfred. -Anna. 452 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,156 -(kisses) -oh, good, good. 453 00:18:45,241 --> 00:18:46,574 And now maybe something flirty, 454 00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,960 like, "oh, a fox in the henhouse." 455 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,628 or... No, no, no, no, wait. 456 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:54,632 Maybe, "what is a fox like you doing in a henhouse like..." 457 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,534 anna, I'm dying. 458 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,919 -(gasps) -(gasps) 459 00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,053 (whispers): What do I say? 460 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,805 Tell him not to. Tell him not to! 461 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,541 Look, anna, there's something I never got to say to you 462 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,344 all those years ago before you married henry. 463 00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:09,180 Will you let me do you in the (bleep)? 464 00:19:09,265 --> 00:19:10,398 -(screams) -whoa! 465 00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,017 -No. -Please, anna. Before I die. 466 00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,385 -(screams) -wait. 467 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,320 Is that your daughter in the next booth? 468 00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,773 Uh, no. I'm a stray dog. (barks) 469 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,658 -abort mission. -Anna, 470 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:21,993 I'm too horny to care 471 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,861 that your adult daughter is watching this. 472 00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:25,279 You're my last hope, anna. 473 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:28,866 Grant a dying man his deathbed ass wish. 474 00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:31,118 Ew! Mom, make him stop! 475 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,371 I don't know how. He's become so much hornier 476 00:19:33,456 --> 00:19:35,239 now that he's aged 40 years. 477 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,074 Yes, I have. Like a cheese. 478 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,594 Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! 479 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,513 I'll never stop thinking about your juicy butt-meat. 480 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,432 I want to stick a quarter in your (bleep) 481 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,384 and treat you like a parking meter, anna. 482 00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:48,519 -Oh, my god! -Even when I'm a ghost, 483 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,638 -I'll be haunting your ass. -Bertie: Wait. 484 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:54,192 I know what to do. Mom, look at me. 485 00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:01,315 Oh. I see you're celebrating fledging day. 486 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,235 I apologize. There's nothing more beautiful 487 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,370 than a love between a mother and daughter, 488 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,105 not even (bleep) sex. 489 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,491 Don't worry about me. I'll just go home 490 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,326 and pray that the angels in heaven 491 00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,296 have cheeks half as tight as yours. 492 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,636 That is so beautiful. 493 00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:25,456 Here's your prescription. It'll run out in a month, 494 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,559 and then it'll be even more difficult to renew. 495 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,678 We'll put the prescription up really high, 496 00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,146 and you'll have to climb a ladder, 497 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,898 and each time you reach for it, 498 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,267 we'll yank, yank, yank. 499 00:20:36,352 --> 00:20:38,653 (chuckles) it's a standard procedure. 500 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,137 (tuca sighs) 501 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,073 figgy: Hey, sweetie-tooks. 502 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,242 -Figgy? -It's nice to see you. 503 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:45,826 What are you doing here? 504 00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,497 I actually... I have root rot. 505 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,982 Oh! Are you okay? 506 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,318 Yeah, I'll live. This should dry out in a month. 507 00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,787 But I can't drink anything in the meantime. 508 00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:59,173 I-I've actually been wanting to ask you for advice 509 00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,793 on how not to go crazy while staying sober. 510 00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,178 Nah, you won't go crazy. 511 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,846 I've got lots of good ideas. 512 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,466 Not that you should care. It's only a month. 513 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,434 Then I'll revert back to my old habits, 514 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,136 so none of this really matters. 515 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,838 It does matter! 516 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,474 And it's really selfish of you to not take care of yourself. 517 00:21:16,559 --> 00:21:19,360 -Hmm, hmm, hmm! -(figgy sighs) 518 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,813 -hmm! -(phone chimes) 519 00:21:27,403 --> 00:21:28,853 (both laughing) 520 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,738 it was so gross. 521 00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,707 Yeah, but it was kind of nice for once 522 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:36,527 having a man look at my ass and think, "ayooga!" 523 00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,746 -ew, mom! (chuckles) -(laughs) 524 00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:42,667 well, I guess I'd better head back home to your father. 525 00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:44,585 Yeah. 526 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,424 Can I keep one? 527 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,176 Of course you can. 528 00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:55,379 -I'm gonna put this in your room. -Uh, okay, mom. 529 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,381 But they're only shelf-stable for a few months. 530 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,100 I'm saving it. 531 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,652 Thanks, mom. Love you. 532 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:02,903 Mmm. 533 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,942 (sighs) 534 00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,468 -book: Hola, señorita. -(screams) what the...?! 535 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,805 ("carnaval artificial" by random recipe playing) 536 00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:24,075 (singing in spanish) 537 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,767 (grunting) 538 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,770 (sighs) it's just not the same. 539 00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:55,473 (dogs barking)