1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,903
-♪ ♪
-(water splashing)
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,507
(vacuum whirring)
3
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,434
(both sigh)
4
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,023
♪ tuca and bertie and tuca and
bertie and bertie and tuca ♪
5
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,824
♪ and tuca and bertie,
tuca and bertie ♪
6
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,559
♪ tu-tu-tuca ♪
7
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,229
-♪ tuca ♪
-♪ and bertie. ♪
8
00:00:30,314 --> 00:00:32,564
(vocalizing)
9
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,154
-(beeps)
-anti-cramp pills for tuca.
10
00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:41,640
-(groans)
-hmm.
11
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,776
Your prescription has expired,
so you'll have to visit a doctor
12
00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:45,694
to confirm you have a thing
you already know you have.
13
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,914
But I'm in pain now!
Look at my face.
14
00:00:48,999 --> 00:00:50,532
(sobbing)
15
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,286
sorry, can't do anything without
a fresh, ripe prescription.
16
00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:55,537
Whatever, I'm not going
17
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,256
all the way to the hospital
for that.
18
00:00:57,341 --> 00:00:58,990
Okay, have a happy fledging day.
19
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:01,210
Have you called your mother yet
to thank her for fledging you?
20
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:04,596
Nope, she's dead,
but fledge you for asking.
21
00:01:04,682 --> 00:01:06,381
That's right,
it's a day-ruiner.
22
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,134
Now you feel as shitty as I do.
Kablam!
23
00:01:09,220 --> 00:01:11,854
-(grunting rhythmically)
-hmm.
24
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:13,972
(chewing noises)
25
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:15,224
(sighs) oh!
26
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:16,675
I know what'll make me
feel better:
27
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,343
Buying some crap
I don't need.
28
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,412
(groans)
moms don't want balloons.
29
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,281
They just want
their autonomy back.
30
00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:23,782
Get out of here.
31
00:01:26,403 --> 00:01:29,955
Ooh! Flowers always
make me happy.
32
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,541
-(clamoring)
-let go!
33
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,377
-I need these for my mom.
-Let go.
34
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,296
My mother needs flowers!
35
00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:39,030
Without today's blossoms...
36
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:43,302
(deep voice): Mater will perish,
so says the curse.
37
00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:45,220
Damn it! Is anything
in this store
38
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,889
not about
this stupid holiday?
39
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,258
Don't worry, tomorrow
this will all be on sale,
40
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,926
and we'll start selling
cadaveri candy.
41
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,177
Cadaveri candy?
42
00:01:52,263 --> 00:01:54,263
It's only eggprill.
What's next?
43
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:57,232
Selling molting day gifts
in the month of jam?
44
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,774
I'll help you clean after
I finish this job application.
45
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,911
Hey, what's the etiquette
on using a boss as a reference
46
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,747
after you told them
to go snorkeling in your turds?
47
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:14,283
-Uh...
-Damn this holiday.
48
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,785
What kind of sick society
celebrates motherhood?
49
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,922
Tuca, I told you not to shop
for mylar balloons today.
50
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,456
(belches)
51
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,426
my mom will be here any minute.
You could join us.
52
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,261
Oh, yeah, it could be fun.
Please!
53
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,246
Nice try, bertie.
I'm not gonna be the buffer
54
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:29,631
for your awkward mom hang.
55
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:33,084
Even though
your mom lo-lo-lo-lo-loves me.
56
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:36,605
Fine, but I've got a plan
for a smooth fledging day.
57
00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,774
We'll get a quick lunch,
quick mani-pedis,
58
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,526
and if we run out
of stuff to talk about,
59
00:02:40,611 --> 00:02:42,394
I'll switch to the fail-safe:
60
00:02:42,479 --> 00:02:45,063
Shit-talking
my mom's nutty neighbor.
61
00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:48,817
We'll rip her to shreds like two
lionesses devouring a gazelle.
62
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,486
Our conversation will flow
like blood.
63
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,322
I feel like you've mentioned
you'd like to have
64
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,040
a deeper connection with her.
65
00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:57,125
Why don't you ask your mom
some questions about herself?
66
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:58,544
-Get her to open up.
-Ooh!
67
00:02:58,629 --> 00:03:00,495
Ask her what
her biggest disappointment is,
68
00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:02,631
and if she doesn't answer,
you'll know that it's you.
69
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,917
No. The more we avoid feelings,
the better.
70
00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:08,337
This woman does not experience
emotions the same way we do.
71
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:09,421
Look how she texts.
72
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:10,889
I wrote, "I love you, mom!
73
00:03:10,975 --> 00:03:13,342
And then, two whole days later,
she responded,
74
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,143
"there is a sale on pants."
75
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,396
what pants? For me, for you?
76
00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,097
I'm only interested
in a pants sale
77
00:03:19,183 --> 00:03:21,233
if they're half off.
Get it? They're shorts.
78
00:03:21,318 --> 00:03:23,569
(laughing)
79
00:03:27,524 --> 00:03:30,025
(laughing):
Even for me, that's a good one.
80
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:32,244
Shorts. Whew.
81
00:03:32,329 --> 00:03:34,246
-(sighs)
-(knocking)
82
00:03:34,331 --> 00:03:36,281
hi, mom, here,
ooh, let me take that.
83
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:37,866
Hi. I brought
a bunch of your things.
84
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:41,753
Ew! My childhood mementos.
Take it back, take it back!
85
00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:43,839
-All right,
I'll just throw them away.
-No!
86
00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,090
They are precious to me,
87
00:03:45,175 --> 00:03:47,209
but only when they're
in my childhood bedroom.
88
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,928
They depreciate the moment
you drive them off the lot!
89
00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:52,664
Well, we needed to clear space
so we can use it for storage.
90
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,683
Mom, your house is piled
with clutter.
91
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:56,602
The last thing you need
is to store more junk.
92
00:03:56,687 --> 00:03:58,971
Tuca, I heard about
your health issues.
93
00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:00,505
I brought you some tea.
94
00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:02,641
It's supposed to help
with cramps.
95
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,811
Ooh! Is that ginger?
It's already working.
96
00:04:05,896 --> 00:04:06,895
Thanks, anna!
97
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,363
Could I get
some of that specialty?
98
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,698
I get cramps, too.
99
00:04:09,817 --> 00:04:12,117
Because you eat
too many spicy chips.
100
00:04:12,202 --> 00:04:13,735
-(bertie grunts)
-(chewing)
101
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,287
(laughing)
102
00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:17,039
aw!
103
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:20,909
(laughter)
104
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,411
bertie:
Hmm.
105
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,998
Uh, would you take a picture
of me and my wonderful daughter
106
00:04:26,083 --> 00:04:27,699
who I am very proud of?
107
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:30,585
I'm the one who's so proud
108
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:35,057
of the super emotionally
available woman who fledged me.
109
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:39,261
-Say "healthy relationship."
-both: Healthy relationship.
110
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,647
-(phone camera clicks)
-oh! Here.
111
00:04:41,732 --> 00:04:43,565
-Aw!
-Aw, isn't that nice?
112
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,651
-Gosh, we're so happy.
-(groans)
113
00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,853
so, how's that nutty
neighbor of yours doing?
114
00:04:47,938 --> 00:04:50,355
Is she still keeping
her molting day lights up
115
00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,941
all year round,
like a wild animal?
116
00:04:53,744 --> 00:04:55,894
Actually, carlotta and I
are friends now.
117
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,363
We bonded because
we both have adult daughters
118
00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:00,082
who are unmarried.
119
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,734
Oh, well, uh, how's your garden?
120
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,954
My tomato plant died,
so I stopped gardening.
121
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:09,124
(regurgitating)
122
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,463
-others: Aw!
-(groans in disgust)
123
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,766
and would you like to take part
in the regurgitation ritual,
124
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:20,102
to thank your mom
for all the times
125
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,804
she regurgitated for you
when you were a baby?
126
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,422
We have a special
fledging day menu
127
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,109
that includes
a regurgitation cake.
128
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,860
-Uh...
-Um...
129
00:05:28,946 --> 00:05:31,063
No, thank you.
We'll just be gurgitating today.
130
00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:34,950
Very good. Two non-barf meals
coming right up.
131
00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,068
Hmm.
132
00:05:36,153 --> 00:05:38,837
(regurgitating noisily)
133
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,139
♪ ♪
134
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,608
what boring porn site
are you on?
135
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,212
Oh, actually, I'm updating
my website and my résumé.
136
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,463
Speckle, no!
137
00:05:49,299 --> 00:05:53,335
Due to budgetary cuts, we can't
afford computers for the school.
138
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,721
-Ho!
-(gasping)
139
00:05:57,141 --> 00:05:59,808
-(cheering, gasping)
-(gasps) darn.
140
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,794
Aw, man,
I use that for work!
141
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,680
-And for looking at boring porn.
-Stop trying to be productive.
142
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,766
This period,
right after you get canned,
143
00:06:07,851 --> 00:06:09,568
is a beautiful, magical time
144
00:06:09,653 --> 00:06:10,902
where nothing matters
and you can be
145
00:06:10,988 --> 00:06:13,805
a thick,
warm loaf of laziness.
146
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:17,542
Take it from me, a bird who's
been fired from over 50 jobs.
147
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:20,028
I don't know
how not to be productive.
148
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:21,830
Look, I even made
a vision board.
149
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,832
See? This is me,
but I have a job.
150
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:26,251
And here are some waterfalls
that I thought looked pretty.
151
00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:28,754
-Uh-- dang it.
-Speckle,
152
00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:30,372
you're gonna be my project
today.
153
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,706
I'm projecting.
154
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,793
During this special period
of unemployment,
155
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:36,294
your body will be changing,
156
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:39,297
emitting new scents,
growing hair in new areas.
157
00:06:39,383 --> 00:06:40,715
(sniffs) oh.
158
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,018
-You'll have wild mood swings.
-No, I won't!
159
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,137
You'll tell people
to get off your case.
160
00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:47,022
Actually, you are
standing on my briefcase.
161
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,724
And you'll experience
strange new urges.
162
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,010
(gasps)
should I go to grad school?
163
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,344
No notes.
164
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,448
I'm your loaf coach,
and it's time to slob you up.
165
00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:59,151
♪ ♪
166
00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,882
my masterpiece is complete.
167
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,967
Bertie:
Look, mom!
168
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,136
Here's what I've been working on
at wintersnacks.
169
00:07:18,222 --> 00:07:22,707
So, you don't run
your own bakery anymore?
170
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,160
No, I closed it. Remember?
171
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,478
But it's great.
172
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,612
I've had all these successes
173
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,013
since joining winter's company.
174
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,283
I made a salad
that's bad for you.
175
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,751
Hmm.
176
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,986
Look, check out
these ingredients.
177
00:07:35,072 --> 00:07:37,222
"trace amounts
of blueberry extract."
178
00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,074
yeah, that-that's me!
I did that.
179
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:42,494
Winter agreed with my opinion
that it adds a little something.
180
00:07:42,579 --> 00:07:44,562
So, anyways,
if you eat this,
181
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,164
you're eating
something I worked on.
182
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,666
Well, I wouldn't eat it.
183
00:07:47,751 --> 00:07:49,868
It has a high glycemic index.
184
00:07:49,953 --> 00:07:51,369
(groans)
185
00:07:51,455 --> 00:07:54,239
what about all those cute little
bird pastries you used to sell?
186
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,008
Mom, I tried having my own
bakery, but I wasn't ready.
187
00:07:57,094 --> 00:07:59,961
It's a relief to not be
the public face of something.
188
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,631
Here, look at
all these mean comments
189
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,049
wintersnacks gets online.
190
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,646
See? None of this
is directed at me.
191
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,698
Nobody cares who I am,
and it's great.
192
00:08:19,783 --> 00:08:21,283
I don't have to take out loans,
193
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,318
or worry about inspections
or insurance
194
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,736
or whether my employees hate me
195
00:08:24,821 --> 00:08:26,655
or are projecting
weird mommy issues onto me.
196
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,240
I can just bake.
197
00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:30,876
Well, I just don't see
what you get out of it.
198
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:32,010
(groans)
199
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,879
bertie, you should make these.
200
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,447
Mom, that food already exists.
201
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,631
I don't need to make it.
202
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,416
I bet the mother
of whoever made it
203
00:08:38,502 --> 00:08:39,885
is very proud.
204
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,004
Yeah, mom.
I'm sure they are.
205
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,389
(screams)
206
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,476
great lazing in there, specko.
207
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,461
You look completely worthless.
208
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,796
Oh, you think that's good?
209
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,098
Watch this.
210
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:55,650
I don't even have
to use my hands.
211
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,574
I was wrong.
You're not worthless.
212
00:09:02,659 --> 00:09:05,360
-You're a delicious picante dip.
-Thanks.
213
00:09:06,997 --> 00:09:08,613
What are you gonna do, speckle?
214
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:12,534
(groaning):
I'm so tired.
215
00:09:12,652 --> 00:09:14,819
Bravo! Excellent work.
216
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,988
So, what do I do now?
217
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,507
Now you invest too much money
in a bunch of hobbies
218
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,792
that you'll never keep up with.
219
00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:22,877
Here,
find some stupid activities
220
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,846
to get you overly invested in.
221
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,683
Ooh, they have the architecture
pen I've been looking for.
222
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,887
It's a normal pen, but it says
"architecture rules" on it.
223
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,639
(chuckles)
all the pros have one.
224
00:09:34,725 --> 00:09:36,358
No work. Hobbies only.
225
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:39,510
Now put in your credit card
and get the instant delivery.
226
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,845
You need it now, speckle.
227
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:43,315
Your very self-worth
depends on it.
228
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,484
(groaning)
229
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,571
here's your order.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
230
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,122
Happy fledging day.
231
00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:52,991
What did you get?
A skateboard,
232
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:56,361
a classic guitar,
a how to learn spanish series.
233
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,463
And is that a jujitsu gi?
234
00:09:58,548 --> 00:10:00,715
-Yes.
-Excellent work.
235
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,301
Woman:
Hey, where's my delivery?
236
00:10:03,387 --> 00:10:04,970
I'm coming! Coming!
237
00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,471
(panting, grunting)
238
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:09,140
-(screaming)
-(thuds)
239
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:12,377
no, no, no, no, no.
You must never practice
240
00:10:12,479 --> 00:10:13,511
any of these hobbies.
241
00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:14,929
Only buy increasingly expensive
242
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,714
accessories and upgrades
for them.
243
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:19,217
But I enjoy doing things,
244
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,386
and I still need
something to define me.
245
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,105
What am I?
A guitarist, a skateboarder?
246
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,557
Someone who fights people
in a robe? (cries)
247
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,694
I miss when my whole deal was
just being an architect.
248
00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:31,062
-Speckle.
-Ow!
249
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,081
You need to learn
that a job is just a job.
250
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,750
It can't define you,
and it'll never love you back.
251
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,869
No matter
how good of a job it is.
252
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:40,738
I have a great job,
and you think I give a shit?
253
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,123
I'm supposed to be there
right now.
254
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,075
And to your left
you'll see the bank
255
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,011
where I opened
a joint checking account
256
00:10:46,096 --> 00:10:48,179
with my pet jaguar.
257
00:10:48,265 --> 00:10:50,098
(screaming)
258
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,749
you think I'm worried about it?
259
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,084
Nothing bothers me.
260
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,353
-Ouch!
-Uh, you okay, tuca?
261
00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:58,056
I'm fine. I'm gonna go
sit on my fire escape
262
00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:00,308
and hit people with
water balloons full of soup.
263
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,261
-It helps distract me
from the pain.
-Okay.
264
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:06,564
Your job is to stay put,
stay lazy and remember:
265
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:09,484
These hobbies are for you
to feel guilty about.
266
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,403
No touching.
267
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,826
-Ow!
-Uh-uh.
268
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,179
Ortunity.
269
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,214
One of your dad's
coworker's cousins says
270
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,249
they need a cook
for her kid's day care.
271
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,352
You'd have to put
peanut butter on the celery.
272
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,853
You can do that, right?
273
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,755
Mom, I already have a job.
274
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,691
I work for chef winter garcia.
275
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,275
At least at a day care,
everyone would know
276
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,277
you made the food,
unlike with winter.
277
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,645
I like working for winter.
278
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,147
Well, what's so great
about a woman
279
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:42,317
who can't even come up
with her own pastry ideas?
280
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,703
Well, hmm, just for starters,
she's a fierce,
281
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:46,371
shrewd,
independent business owner.
282
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,823
She's emotionally intelligent,
communicative.
283
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,493
Plus, she's really organized,
tidy.
284
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:52,961
She's a great role model.
285
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,797
She's become
a real mother figure to me.
286
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,449
-Oh.
-I mean, uh...
287
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,919
She's a fine non-mommy boss.
288
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:04,288
It's a decent workplace.
Wow, here we are at the spa.
289
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,623
Time to get mani-pedis.
290
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,559
Healthy mother-daughter
activity.
291
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,960
(entry bell chimes)
292
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,628
two mani-pedis, please.
293
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,679
This is a bathhouse.
294
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,565
We don't mani any pedis here,
295
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,983
but we can scrub
all the dead feathers
296
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:16,467
off your body
while you wince in pain.
297
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,938
Oh, no, this spot isn't
for hands and feet.
298
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:22,657
This is for butts and boobs!
299
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,576
-(heart thumping fast)
-what should we do?
Should we leave?
300
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,977
I-it might not be your thing.
301
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,862
It can be my thing
if you want it to.
302
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:31,249
I can do whatever.
I'm open and communicative.
303
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,535
Besides,
it's a "buy one, get one" deal.
304
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,987
-How could I refuse a bogo?
-Okay.
305
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,872
Then we're doing this.
306
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,541
Not too late to say no.
307
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:42,594
Here's everything you need
and please sign this waiver.
308
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,095
In case of a fire, you agree
309
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,131
you'll have to run barebutt
into the street.
310
00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:48,332
No returning to the lockers
for belongings or clothes.
311
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,019
-Barebutt.
-Uh...
312
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,138
♪ ♪
313
00:12:56,226 --> 00:12:57,675
(sighs)
314
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,694
mom, you can take that off.
315
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,313
It's not a big deal.
Everyone else is nude.
316
00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:05,700
It's just that you haven't seen
my body in a long time,
317
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,652
and it's different now.
318
00:13:07,737 --> 00:13:09,287
Mom, it's okay.
319
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,793
(chirping)
320
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,997
(ladies laugh)
321
00:13:25,922 --> 00:13:28,006
uh, did you say "grandchildren"?
322
00:13:28,091 --> 00:13:29,390
Cheep-cheepity chirp chirp.
323
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,758
(laughs)
324
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,895
what the...? Uh,
that is not what I meant to say.
325
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,897
(anna and ladies laugh)
326
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,935
(sighs)
327
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,387
-skateboard: Yo, yo, specks!
-Oh, shit!
328
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,556
Skateboard:
You should totally ride me
right now.
329
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:48,660
Your 30s is the best time
to learn a sport for teenagers.
330
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,863
Dang, I'm already overestimating
how cool I would look.
331
00:13:51,948 --> 00:13:54,365
No, tuca said I can't touch you.
332
00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:56,167
-Guitar: Hey, specks.
-(chords strumming)
333
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:58,369
why don't you learn
a quick chord progression, huh?
334
00:13:58,455 --> 00:14:02,340
You can take me to parties.
You'll be a living jukebox.
335
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:04,575
-(twangs)
-(moans)
336
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,927
no practicing.
337
00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:07,545
-I promised tu...
-Book: Ábreme.
338
00:14:07,631 --> 00:14:08,596
Aprende de mi.
339
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,765
Uh, what does that mean?
340
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,617
Book:
Exactamente.
341
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,135
Buenos días.
342
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,754
Book:
Sí. Sí, señor speckle.
343
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,723
(spanish accent):
Oh, no.
344
00:14:18,808 --> 00:14:21,226
♪ ♪
345
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,491
(sighs)
this is so nice.
346
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,243
You like this adult ball pit?
347
00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:41,129
-You're having a good time?
-Yes. Are you?
348
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:44,082
I actually am. You know,
we should do this more often.
349
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:46,617
Make this
our fledging day tradition, huh?
350
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,553
Just tossing an idea out there.
351
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,121
Feel free to shoot it down.
352
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,455
Then maybe one fledging day,
353
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,508
your daughter
will take you here.
354
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,226
Okay.
355
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:56,678
Mom, about that.
356
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,129
I'm not planning
on having a daughter
357
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,431
or a son or any kids at all.
358
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,135
(sobbing)
359
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,654
oh, my god, mom.
You can't do that in here.
360
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,773
It disintegrates the balls.
361
00:15:08,858 --> 00:15:12,827
You're not having kids?
362
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,996
Ugh, I knew this would happen.
363
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,949
I'm just so happy for you.
364
00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:22,120
I'm really glad
you know what you want.
365
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,422
What? So you're not mad
366
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,758
that you'll never be a grandma
and you'll never get
367
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,293
to pinch cheeks
and knit sweaters
368
00:15:28,378 --> 00:15:30,545
and palm your grandkids
a wad of cash and wink,
369
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:33,548
but then when they look at it,
it's, like, two bucks?
370
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,849
Of course not, bertie.
371
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,834
I'm just always so worried
about you,
372
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,636
and I want you
to have everything
373
00:15:38,722 --> 00:15:40,221
and fly so far.
374
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,506
But I had a whole life
before you,
375
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,142
and sometimes I wonder.
376
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:46,894
You see, I was really hot,
bertie.
377
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,529
I had a great ass.
378
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,848
-Oh, my god.
-And I love your father so much,
379
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,533
but he isn't very romantic,
380
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,986
and his ass is a five at best.
381
00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:56,788
-Whoa.
-And an ex-flame of mine
382
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,574
wants to meet me for drinks
in bird town tonight.
383
00:15:59,692 --> 00:16:00,792
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
384
00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,193
And I don't know what to do.
385
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,995
It would be nice to see him
and catch up,
386
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,463
and maybe
he'd pay attention to me
387
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,498
and compliment me a little.
That's all I want.
388
00:16:07,584 --> 00:16:09,384
But I'm just so confused.
389
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,502
(sobbing)
390
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,539
mom, you can meet him
for a drink.
391
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,675
It's not a big deal.
It's just a drink.
392
00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:19,060
You have to live a little.
393
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,212
Really? I don't even know
what to say to him.
394
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,182
I can help you. Ooh!
I'll be your flirt coach.
395
00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:27,018
-Could tuca come?
-No.
396
00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:29,354
(tuca laughing)
397
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:33,441
(groans)
398
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:35,576
(grunting)
399
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,698
there you go, sweetie.
Got to buckle up for mommy.
400
00:16:40,784 --> 00:16:42,566
Let's keep you nice and safe.
401
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,868
(tuca groans loudly)
402
00:16:43,953 --> 00:16:45,370
huh?
403
00:16:45,455 --> 00:16:47,205
Goddamn it!
404
00:16:47,290 --> 00:16:49,924
Speckle:
♪ hola, mi amor ♪
405
00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,760
♪ ¿tienes algo de mostaza? ♪
406
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,046
♪ me llamo speckle ♪
407
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:58,749
♪ esa es mi casa ♪
408
00:16:58,852 --> 00:16:59,801
♪ bicicleta ♪
409
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,386
♪ biblioteca ♪
410
00:17:01,471 --> 00:17:06,757
♪ mochila, mochila, mochila. ♪
411
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,477
-(cheering and applause)
-boo!
412
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:11,479
At least
you still don't know jujitsu!
413
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,897
Yeah, you suck!
414
00:17:12,982 --> 00:17:14,732
(speckle grunting)
415
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,200
(grunts, chokes)
416
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,436
well done. Nice anaconda hold.
417
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,205
What the heck?
You're the worst layabout ever.
418
00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,257
And the worst
at following my advice.
419
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,343
And you're excellent at spanish.
420
00:17:25,428 --> 00:17:26,594
Gracias.
421
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,946
(speaking spanish)
422
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:37,788
-what does that mean?
-Oh, I have no idea.
423
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,058
I-I'm sorry, tuca.
I can't help it.
424
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,676
My parents raised me
to be industrious
425
00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:43,311
and productive above all else.
426
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,480
Well, I was brought up
to lounge and loiter.
427
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:47,932
My mom was so busy working
all the time to support us
428
00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:49,400
that I was left alone.
429
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:51,519
-A total latchtree kid.
-Oh.
430
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,021
Then she died,
and everything was such a mess.
431
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,858
What good was
all of her hard work anyways?
432
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,026
(crying):
What good was any of it
433
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,644
if it didn't even save her life?
434
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,081
And what good
are my stupid pain pills
435
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,083
if I'm gonna feel worse
every month?
436
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,702
My mom's dead,
I'll always be in pain,
437
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,004
and nothing matters. Who cares?!
438
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:13,324
Tuca, I care.
439
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,161
♪ tu eres importante ♪
440
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,380
♪ para mi. ♪
441
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,883
(grunts)
perdóname.
442
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,269
(whispering): Okay, mom.
I came up with a great plan.
443
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,004
Pay close attention, okay?
444
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:29,056
Listen up. I'm gonna sit here,
445
00:18:29,175 --> 00:18:30,641
and I'm gonna tell you
what to say to him.
446
00:18:30,727 --> 00:18:32,610
-Good plan.
-(door opens, bell jingles)
447
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,278
oh! He's here.
448
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:36,948
It's okay. Just say what I say.
449
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,117
Hello...
450
00:18:39,903 --> 00:18:41,852
I already forgot his name.
451
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,955
-Hello, alfred.
-Anna.
452
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,156
-(kisses)
-oh, good, good.
453
00:18:45,241 --> 00:18:46,574
And now maybe something flirty,
454
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,960
like,
"oh, a fox in the henhouse."
455
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,628
or... No, no, no, no, wait.
456
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:54,632
Maybe, "what is a fox like you
doing in a henhouse like..."
457
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,534
anna, I'm dying.
458
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,919
-(gasps)
-(gasps)
459
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,053
(whispers):
What do I say?
460
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,805
Tell him not to.
Tell him not to!
461
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,541
Look, anna, there's something
I never got to say to you
462
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,344
all those years ago
before you married henry.
463
00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:09,180
Will you let me do you
in the (bleep)?
464
00:19:09,265 --> 00:19:10,398
-(screams)
-whoa!
465
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,017
-No.
-Please, anna. Before I die.
466
00:19:13,102 --> 00:19:14,385
-(screams)
-wait.
467
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,320
Is that your daughter
in the next booth?
468
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,773
Uh, no. I'm a stray dog.
(barks)
469
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,658
-abort mission.
-Anna,
470
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:21,993
I'm too horny to care
471
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,861
that your adult daughter
is watching this.
472
00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:25,279
You're my last hope, anna.
473
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:28,866
Grant a dying man
his deathbed ass wish.
474
00:19:28,952 --> 00:19:31,118
Ew! Mom, make him stop!
475
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,371
I don't know how.
He's become so much hornier
476
00:19:33,456 --> 00:19:35,239
now that he's aged 40 years.
477
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,074
Yes, I have. Like a cheese.
478
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,594
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!
479
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,513
I'll never stop thinking
about your juicy butt-meat.
480
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,432
I want to stick a quarter
in your (bleep)
481
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,384
and treat you
like a parking meter, anna.
482
00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:48,519
-Oh, my god!
-Even when I'm a ghost,
483
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,638
-I'll be haunting your ass.
-Bertie: Wait.
484
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:54,192
I know what to do.
Mom, look at me.
485
00:19:57,981 --> 00:20:01,315
Oh. I see you're celebrating
fledging day.
486
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:04,235
I apologize.
There's nothing more beautiful
487
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,370
than a love between a mother
and daughter,
488
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,105
not even (bleep) sex.
489
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,491
Don't worry about me.
I'll just go home
490
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,326
and pray
that the angels in heaven
491
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:15,296
have cheeks
half as tight as yours.
492
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,636
That is so beautiful.
493
00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:25,456
Here's your prescription.
It'll run out in a month,
494
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,559
and then it'll be
even more difficult to renew.
495
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,678
We'll put the prescription up
really high,
496
00:20:30,796 --> 00:20:32,146
and you'll have
to climb a ladder,
497
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,898
and each time you reach for it,
498
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,267
we'll yank, yank, yank.
499
00:20:36,352 --> 00:20:38,653
(chuckles)
it's a standard procedure.
500
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,137
(tuca sighs)
501
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,073
figgy:
Hey, sweetie-tooks.
502
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,242
-Figgy?
-It's nice to see you.
503
00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:45,826
What are you doing here?
504
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:49,497
I actually... I have root rot.
505
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,982
Oh! Are you okay?
506
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:54,318
Yeah, I'll live.
This should dry out in a month.
507
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,787
But I can't drink anything
in the meantime.
508
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:59,173
I-I've actually been wanting
to ask you for advice
509
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:02,793
on how not to go crazy
while staying sober.
510
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:04,178
Nah, you won't go crazy.
511
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,846
I've got lots of good ideas.
512
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,466
Not that you should care.
It's only a month.
513
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,434
Then I'll revert back
to my old habits,
514
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,136
so none of this really matters.
515
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:13,838
It does matter!
516
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,474
And it's really selfish of you
to not take care of yourself.
517
00:21:16,559 --> 00:21:19,360
-Hmm, hmm, hmm!
-(figgy sighs)
518
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,813
-hmm!
-(phone chimes)
519
00:21:27,403 --> 00:21:28,853
(both laughing)
520
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,738
it was so gross.
521
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,707
Yeah, but it was
kind of nice for once
522
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:36,527
having a man look at my ass
and think, "ayooga!"
523
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,746
-ew, mom! (chuckles)
-(laughs)
524
00:21:38,864 --> 00:21:42,667
well, I guess I'd better head
back home to your father.
525
00:21:42,752 --> 00:21:44,585
Yeah.
526
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,424
Can I keep one?
527
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:52,176
Of course you can.
528
00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:55,379
-I'm gonna put this
in your room.
-Uh, okay, mom.
529
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,381
But they're only shelf-stable
for a few months.
530
00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,100
I'm saving it.
531
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,652
Thanks, mom. Love you.
532
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:02,903
Mmm.
533
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,942
(sighs)
534
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,468
-book: Hola, señorita.
-(screams) what the...?!
535
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,805
("carnaval artificial"
by random recipe playing)
536
00:22:21,107 --> 00:22:24,075
(singing in spanish)
537
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,767
(grunting)
538
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,770
(sighs)
it's just not the same.
539
00:22:52,855 --> 00:22:55,473
(dogs barking)