1 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,422 ♪ Tuca and Bertie and Tuca and Bertie and Bertie and Tuca ♪ 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,090 ♪ And Tuca and Bertie, Tuca and Bertie ♪ 3 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:08,800 ♪ Tu-Tu-Tuca ♪ 4 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,594 -♪ Tuca ♪ -♪ And Bertie. ♪ 5 00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,805 (vocalizing) 6 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,979 Tuca, I'm unsure about Speckle. 7 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,149 This morning, I found him staring out the window 8 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:27,986 while eating an entire pack of frozen hot dogs. 9 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:33,783 (gulps) 10 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,785 Uh... Why don't we stop that? 11 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,412 O-O-O-Okay, okay. 12 00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:38,872 He's depressed. 13 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,915 Yeah, he didn't even laugh when I farted earlier, 14 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,126 and it was an objectively funny fart. 15 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,461 Here, I recorded it. 16 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:46,463 DOTTIE: Um, Bertie, Tuca, 17 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,256 can you hags pause the heart-to-heart? 18 00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,632 We're in the middle of my wedding. 19 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,134 (fart recording plays) 20 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:53,303 Sorry. (chuckles, groans) Please, continue. 21 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:57,432 I take thee, Dottie, to be my wife at this wedding, 22 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,517 which establishes my alibi 23 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,269 for Novembird the 8th, 24 00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,646 for richer, for poorer, in sickness, 25 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,399 and in court testifying that I could not have been involved 26 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,235 in any heists on our wedding day, Your Honor. 27 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,697 Oh, Gordon. (chuckles) You're so corny. 28 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,367 I pronounce you bird-husband and bird-wife. 29 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,787 You may now kiss your lovebird. 30 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,121 -Mwah. -(cheering) 31 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,706 And cue the doves. 32 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,876 (band playing) 33 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,670 (cheering) 34 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:32,175 You look so handsome tonight. 35 00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:36,262 And you're so talented at so many things, 36 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,847 like sudoku. 37 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,558 You're sudo-cool. 38 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,519 I-I'm having a hard time figuring out 39 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,020 how to cheer you up, Spec. 40 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,271 Doesn't matter. 41 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,898 The world is hard, 42 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,401 so you might as well give up and drink an equally hard alcohol. 43 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,362 That's a cucumber berry sparkler. 44 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,530 Ah... 45 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,615 Ooh, that's smooth. 46 00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:57,200 Tooks, do you want a drink? 47 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,660 I'm gonna have a virgin cocktail. 48 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,537 I'll have the same, booze-free, 49 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:02,580 but that doesn't mean it has to be a virgin. 50 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,707 I want a drink that fucks, Figgy. 51 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,835 (laughs) 52 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,420 So, Figgy is your date? 53 00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:10,672 Not like that. 54 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:12,382 I'm just a friend who helps him stay sober. 55 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,301 Come on, I could make dumplings with the steam 56 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,344 from your chemistry. 57 00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:17,720 You don't feel anything? 58 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:20,223 Nah, I'm completely ambivalent 59 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,808 about his strong, leafy body 60 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:24,102 and how hot he looks in that suit 61 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,229 and his intoxicating musk 62 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:29,607 of wood and figs and that mirthful gleam 63 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,609 dancing in the shine of his fruits. 64 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,111 Got it. 65 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,781 For once, I'm not horny. I'm cool as ice. 66 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,157 (gasps) 67 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,826 I only care about one thing: 68 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:42,954 dancing it up at this wedding before my body betrays me. 69 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:46,165 My monthly hell cramps are due to start any moment. 70 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,462 Time to get jiggy with that Figgy, 71 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,797 platonically. 72 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:56,050 Hey, bro. Aw, thanks for coming to my wedding, 73 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,970 even though you're busy doing nothing 74 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,513 since you got fired. 75 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,433 -Oh! -Of course. Happy to be here. 76 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,685 Hey, you'll be back on your feet soon. 77 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,520 You're a good man-robin. (chuckle) 78 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,230 You have to be if all your ex-girlfriends 79 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,858 formed a club celebrating your clown ass. 80 00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:14,485 (laughter) 81 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,571 I'm sorry, what? 82 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,823 A club of Speckle's ex-girlfriends? 83 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:21,159 Yeah, those are some of the women I dated before you. 84 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:25,079 Sheila, Partridgina, Lou, Hummy, Rat-Face. 85 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,081 All our relationships ended cordially, 86 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,541 then they found each other on my social, 87 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,126 became best friends, and formed a club. 88 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,922 I thought all exes did that. Didn't yours? 89 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,632 Uh... 90 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,133 So, you dated Bertie? 91 00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,594 For three months in college. You? 92 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,512 We had to kiss in a high school play. 93 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:42,972 I guess, for her, that counts. 94 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,142 Okay, I-I'm not immediately freaking out 95 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,519 about how hot and cool your exes are 96 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,146 and how I measure up. 97 00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:51,981 This is fine. 98 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,318 It's not fine! You said Speckle's exes were mean girls. 99 00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,611 Why are they here? 100 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:58,571 Oh, they're witches, 101 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,365 but I knew their gifts would be better 102 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,824 than anything on my registry. 103 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,493 Love the dress, Dottie. 104 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,079 You elevate off-the-rack like no other bird. 105 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,580 (laughter) 106 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,833 You know I roll classy, you whores. (chuckles) 107 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,210 They're so mean. 108 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:15,129 I need to know their whole deal immediately. 109 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,466 Dating Speckle was great, and we'll always love him, 110 00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,343 but ultimately he wasn't the right fit for any of us. 111 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,679 The best thing he did was lead me to this 112 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,639 gorgeous group of goddesses. 113 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,516 We're a sisterhood of mutual support. 114 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:30,186 Hype women, but also just really good hangs. 115 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:31,688 We share a farm box. 116 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:34,691 Our group chat gives us life. 117 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,276 It got us through two divorces, a miscarriage, 118 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,195 a bankruptcy, and a murder. 119 00:04:39,278 --> 00:04:40,154 (gunshot) 120 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:41,322 Acquitted! (chuckles) 121 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,615 -(cheering, laughter) -Yeah! 122 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,492 It was in self-defense. 123 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,868 (groans) 124 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,745 So, learning of this group's existence 125 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,331 and then facing them without any warning 126 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,749 is a lot. 127 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,711 Don't be jealous. You won this prize, 128 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,880 -this dead albatross of a man. -Not my point. 129 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,258 This raises a lot of questions, such as: 130 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:02,510 If they're so great, why are you with me? 131 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:05,054 Are you slumming it? Am I your rock bottom? 132 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:08,266 I know myself, and I'm not gonna relax until I get answers. 133 00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:11,394 I got to infiltrate. Will you be okay? 134 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,021 I ate all the rolls. 135 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,441 Uh, hold that thought. I'll be right back. 136 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,735 (electronic dance music playing) 137 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,111 Ooh, baby, nope. 138 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:23,781 Find a neutral place to rest eyes. 139 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,117 Okay. Ooh, boy. 140 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,535 You okay, Tucatooks? 141 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:29,495 Uh, yeah. Wow. 142 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,247 Look at her in that crazy hat. 143 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,875 I love hat people. Think she'll let me borrow it? 144 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,128 -(gasps) -Mmm. Oh. (moaning) 145 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:38,838 Are they... pollinating? 146 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,673 That's my ex frenching that frog. 147 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,592 (gasps) Oh! (moans) 148 00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,260 And she's gorgeous. 149 00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,095 Ah, this is kind of weird. 150 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,057 But, yeah, who cares? (laughs) Not you. 151 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,600 Right, not weird at all. 152 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,477 Not gonna lie, it's kind of tough 153 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,103 being here right now, seeing her. 154 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,106 If it helps, it's tough for me to be here, too, 155 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,608 with the open bar and everything. 156 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,610 But you always seemed so chill 157 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,570 being around booze while not drinking. 158 00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,614 For a night or two, sure, but staying dry 159 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:07,200 for an entire month has been a challenge. 160 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,535 Maybe it was a mistake to come. 161 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,079 Can't you just ignore it? 162 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,789 Yo, can I get your fingerprints on this real quick? 163 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,791 -Awesome. -Whoops! 164 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,250 (groans) 165 00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,461 Want to dance? (laughs) 166 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,629 I... Uh... 167 00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,297 Don't worry, I'm here to help. 168 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:23,091 (shouting) 169 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,759 -Ah! -(screams) 170 00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:26,844 Get lost, you hoppy nerd. 171 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:30,056 Try not to think about liquor. Focus on the music. 172 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,974 ♪ Yes, it's true, yes, it's true ♪ 173 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,268 ♪ I love you, I love you ♪ 174 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:36,395 ♪ Yes, I do, yes, I do ♪ 175 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,481 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 176 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,483 ♪ I love you, I love you... ♪ 177 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,443 Barf. This is the cover version. 178 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,736 Un momento. 179 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,239 -Hey, DJ, you're fired. -(record scratch) 180 00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:47,698 You don't have that authority. 181 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,118 (laughs) I'm the best friend of the girlfriend 182 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,452 of the bride's brother. 183 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,788 (grunts) Apologies for my audacity. 184 00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:56,374 I did not know to whom I was speaking. 185 00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:59,418 Hey, cluckers, get ready to get poultried. 186 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,504 It's time to do the chicken slide. 187 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,881 (cheering) 188 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,675 ♪ Bird Town is the place to be ♪ 189 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,552 ♪ And I've got a new dance for y'all to see ♪ 190 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,595 ♪ So buckle up, get ready to ride ♪ 191 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,514 ♪ 'Cause we're gonna do the chicken slide ♪ 192 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,809 ♪ The chicken slide ♪ 193 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:18,229 ♪ Oh, we do the chicken slide ♪ 194 00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:21,649 ♪ Now the chicken slide is a very cool dance ♪ 195 00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,234 ♪ And you can do it in your underpants... ♪ 196 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,361 Oh, I can never grow a garden like this. 197 00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:27,989 Don't be intimidated. It's easy to compost, 198 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,574 and there are so many worms looking 199 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,534 -for that kind of work nowadays. -(sighs) 200 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,452 Hi. Hi there. 201 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,664 Hi. Sorry, but the normal way ex clubs work 202 00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,876 is that current girlfriends are barred from them. (chuckles) 203 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,085 I thought everyone knew that. 204 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,546 Bummer, but good for you and Speckle. 205 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,048 You two make sense together. 206 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,342 What does that mean? Is that a compliment? 207 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,969 Yeah, we're totally here for you. 208 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,095 If you ever break up. 209 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,681 Um... I'll be right back. 210 00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:55,683 Anyways, here's the location and time 211 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,227 of the secret sample sale for that ethical purse designer. 212 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:02,690 For every purse they sell, they send a purse to college. 213 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:04,400 (awkward chuckle) 214 00:08:04,483 --> 00:08:06,736 ♪ Everybody do the chicken slide, that's right... ♪ 215 00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,697 -Where did you get that can? -I brought it. 216 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,491 Okay. 217 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,410 Speckle, I need to fake break up with you 218 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:16,162 to get into your ex-girlfriends' club. 219 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,247 Whatever you want. I don't have the will 220 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,665 to stop anything from happening. 221 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,834 I am pure inertia. 222 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,878 The breakup is just pretend. 223 00:08:23,961 --> 00:08:25,254 (laughs) 224 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,256 Isn't everything? 225 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,507 (laughs) 226 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:31,552 No, Speckle, we can't stay together. 227 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,804 I'm breaking up with you. 228 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:37,391 I'll be back in five minutes to re-up this relash. 229 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,893 -Love you. -(sighs) 230 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:42,230 Well, I did it. I broke up with Speckle. 231 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,357 Yeah, I dumped the light of my life, 232 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,400 fire of my loins, the peanut butter 233 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,526 to my almond butter. 234 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,111 I like to blend them. 235 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,989 Great, we were just discussing Sheila getting tenured. 236 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,367 Ooh, well, what do you teach? 237 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,618 Leather jackets. 238 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,286 Like, how to make them, 239 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,413 or the history of them, 240 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,706 -or...? -Yes. 241 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,083 Take a seat, Bertie, 242 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,460 and help us affirm the shit out of Sheila. 243 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,295 ♪ Chicken slide ♪ 244 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,216 ♪ Oh, we do the chicken slide ♪ 245 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:16,180 (slow, distorted): ♪ The chicken slide ♪ 246 00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:21,852 Sorry, technical difficulties. The tempo is off. 247 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,521 And we're back. 248 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,567 (laughs) Excuse me for a moment. 249 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,781 (screams) Skort-crabs. 250 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:36,617 Ugh, the crab boil wasn't supposed to start 251 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,536 until after the speeches. 252 00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,038 ♪ The chicken slide. ♪ 253 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,419 And I sprained my toe while saving 254 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,628 that nest of baby squirrels, but I still won 255 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,005 the snowboarding championships. 256 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,381 -Oh, my God. -So cool. -(laughs) 257 00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:51,966 Wow, so inspiring. 258 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,677 So, anyways, why did all of you break up with Speckle? 259 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,096 Well, um, he was too scared to leave our block. 260 00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,889 I turned seven, and I needed to explore 261 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,224 the big bad neighborhood. 262 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,352 Eh, you were kids. That's totally benign. 263 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,646 And, you two, did you do the dumping, 264 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,481 or was it mutual or... 265 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,275 -I'm gay. -Same, gay. 266 00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,902 I'm straight, but not for Speckle. 267 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,697 Wow. Okay. And, Partridgina. 268 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,741 Look, I'm not proud of it, but I cheated on Speckle 269 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,701 -with his first building. -Building? 270 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,454 Speckle's a great architect, and once it was finished, 271 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,415 it and I, we... couldn't deny our feelings. 272 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:27,710 It was just so tall and brutalist. 273 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,838 Those elevator shafts. (moans) 274 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,340 And then I got pregnant. 275 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,717 Go play with your siblings. 276 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,260 (Partridgina grunts) 277 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,430 You didn't mind how Speckle was as an architect? 278 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:40,848 So consumed? 279 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,224 His passion was one of the things 280 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,226 -that drew me to him. -Me, too. 281 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,021 I love that about him. Uh, loved. 282 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:50,232 I thought he tied too much of his self-worth to his job. 283 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,859 Whenever he got insecure about it, 284 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,736 he'd get so dark. 285 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,446 It eventually broke us. 286 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,282 -Oh. -Why did you break up with him, Bertie? 287 00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,409 Well, I... got a new job, 288 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:03,287 and he lost his job, so... 289 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,415 You must have gotten tired of being the breadwinner. 290 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,377 Uh-huh. I'm the breadwinner. 291 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,795 (glass clinking) 292 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,797 Hi, everybody. 293 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,090 (slurring): I'm Spurkle. 294 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,133 The bride brother. 295 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,094 Reese says it's time to speech. 296 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,846 You're bossy, Reese. 297 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,598 Get out of my face. 298 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:25,726 Dottie and Gordon. Where's Gordon? 299 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,436 Doesn't matter, right? 300 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,940 'Cause, you guys, life is like a construction site. 301 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,025 It's so much work, and it's dirty, 302 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,069 and it's full of rusty nails. 303 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:37,780 ♪ Architecture analogy. ♪ 304 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,199 Yeesh, and I thought Speckle was depressed 305 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,325 when we were together. 306 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:45,037 Anyways, Dottie, good sister. 307 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,415 Gordon, nice man, 308 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,000 but a little bit 309 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,419 suspicious. 310 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,837 Bye-bye. 311 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,296 (microphone feedback) 312 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,673 (applause) 313 00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,134 Speckle, I figured out why you're depressed. 314 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:01,178 You're stressed about money, but I can support us. 315 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,013 I'm a breadwinner now. 316 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,890 -♪ All about that money ♪ -♪ Oh, make it grain. ♪ 317 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,810 You're right. I wasn't even thinking about money, 318 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,146 but you'll need to support us, 319 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,524 which will put pressure on you and limit your career ambitions. 320 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,192 I've become a mooch. 321 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,611 I'm dead weight, a leech. 322 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:18,988 Oops. 323 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,991 Hey, everyone. Not that it matters anymore, 324 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,951 because we are definitely broken up, 325 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:27,246 but if you ever succeeded in cheering Speckle up, 326 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,497 how did you do that? 327 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,041 No wrong answers. We're in brainstorm mode. 328 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,335 Speckle's always his best self after a breakup. 329 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,670 After we split, 330 00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,255 Speckle devoted himself to cold-calling 331 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,299 every architecture firm on his dream list, 332 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:39,508 and he got hired. 333 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,885 When we broke up, he started taking 334 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,511 long tricycle rides around the neighborhood. 335 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,971 I think it's what made him fall in love with houses. 336 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,848 It's a good thing you broke it off, Bertie. 337 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,516 That means he'll be on the upswing. 338 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,186 No, girl, it's the best thing you could have done for him. 339 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,021 What?! 340 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,356 Can I get everyone's attention? 341 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,816 Hello? 342 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,109 -(microphone feedback) -(groans) -It's that time. 343 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,736 Time to catch the lizard. 344 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,614 Can I get all the single ladies to the dance floor? 345 00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,657 -(applause) -Now, whoever catches the lizard 346 00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,410 gets to eat the lizard and also get married next. 347 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:09,121 But it's mostly about that sweet lizard meat. 348 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,498 (cheering) 349 00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,334 Oh, whoa there. Oh-oh, settle down, sucker. 350 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,128 (overlapping shouting) 351 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,089 Hey, Tuca, you know how I said Speckle is depressed? 352 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,133 I remember everything you say, Bertie. 353 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,427 I put it in my mental Bertie book. 354 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,638 Like that time you said you'd catch the wedding lizard 355 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,056 and let me have all the meat. 356 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,349 I never said that. 357 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,851 In fact, if I catch it, I will devour it. 358 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:32,561 Can we talk about Speckle? 359 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,773 His exes think the only way to cheer him up is to dump him. 360 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:39,527 Of course. Speckle's a silly bitch who loves drama. 361 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,237 What if they're right? 362 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,032 What if I think I'm helping him but I'm just holding him back? 363 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,826 Huh. I'm in a similar mess with Figgy. 364 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,787 Is it helpful for me to support him 365 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,830 while all I can think about is banging him 366 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,541 under that banquet table? 367 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,168 That's right, I did a masterful job 368 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,295 of hiding it, but I want to hang a tire swing 369 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,257 from his head and swing into him crotch first, Bertie. 370 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,093 (sighs) What are we gonna do with these dudes? 371 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,844 I have no answers. 372 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:09,056 Sorry to eavesdrop, but when I'm feeling confused, 373 00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,432 I buy a new hat. 374 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,643 Also, you should support your partners 375 00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,520 through the rocky times. 376 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,397 What are you even doing at this wedding? 377 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:19,400 I'm Beth, Gordon's dentist and doubles partner. 378 00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,485 Then it makes a lot of sense that you were invited. 379 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,778 Please continue. 380 00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,822 Okay, for example, my girlfriend Kara, 381 00:14:24,905 --> 00:14:28,242 she had huge issues when we started dating. 382 00:14:28,325 --> 00:14:29,535 -No kidding. -What? 383 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,371 No quitting... telling this anecdote. 384 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,415 I won't. I just started. 385 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,876 Kara was really controlling and unapologetic, 386 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,796 but then she had an aha moment. 387 00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,965 She admitted she was about to ghost me, 388 00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,466 but she couldn't go through with it. 389 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,302 -Oh? -She said that, 390 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:49,221 although she can seem nonchalant about other people's feelings, 391 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,849 on the inside she's very chalant. 392 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:55,269 So, we went to therapy and worked through her issues. 393 00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:57,605 I bet she hated being dragged to a shrink. 394 00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,064 It was her idea. 395 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,274 Isn't that neat? 396 00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,484 That's the thing about people. 397 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,322 You can't force them to change, but sometimes they just do. 398 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,740 (ship horn blows) 399 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,658 -(cheering, applause) -BETH: Ooh, that goose 400 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,493 finally caught the lizard. 401 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,078 Now we can move on to cake. 402 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,497 Good luck with your fellas. 403 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,374 (groans) 404 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,585 (dance music playing) 405 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,380 I'm glad you're back. Eesh. 406 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,923 I am feeling really twitchy. 407 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,675 I've never raw-dogged a wedding before. 408 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,761 I mean, been sober at one. (groans) 409 00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,263 I'm always trying new slang when I'm feeling uncomfortable. 410 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,932 Anyways, this cake is bitchin'. (gasps) 411 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,352 Oh, I can't wait until I can drink again. 412 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,771 Okay, but what if you didn't drink again? 413 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,023 Just quit. You can do it. I quat. 414 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,233 You have no idea what I see 415 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,444 when I look out at this room, do you? 416 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,738 About $40,000 of wasted money? 417 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:50,199 No. Look. 418 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,540 We see things very differently. 419 00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,668 What do you see? Show me. 420 00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,131 Huh. 421 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,383 I think I get it now. 422 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,093 You feel the same way about alcohol 423 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:10,844 as I do about juicy butts. 424 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,138 I do, unfortunately. 425 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,807 You shouldn't be in a relationship 426 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,392 while you're dealing with this. 427 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,559 Ah, yes. 428 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,436 That's why I'm so glad you were firm 429 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,605 about us being just friends. 430 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,899 I was firm, wasn't I? 431 00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:25,234 Yup, and 432 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,070 as a certified harassment prevention instructor, 433 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,489 I'm amazing at keeping boundaries. 434 00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,991 As soon as you said, "Just friends," 435 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,035 that set it in stone. 436 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,205 I'll never view you as anything other than platonic. 437 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,707 I don't even see you. 438 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:43,127 Yup. That's great. 439 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,754 That's exactly what I want. 440 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,881 (crying) 441 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,262 (burps) Does anyone want the rest of my cake? 442 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,431 I'm full. 443 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,974 Never mind, I changed my mind. 444 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,309 -I'm gonna eat it. -I'll share that cake with you. 445 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,103 Wait, I thought you were with my building. 446 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,646 I sent you a wedding present, no? 447 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,691 A-And we loved the curtains, but we've separated, 448 00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,860 and not just because it's built downtown. 449 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,653 There were structural problems. 450 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,238 It couldn't please me sexually. 451 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:14,116 (whispers): Too much elevator, not enough shaft. 452 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,994 Honey, mama's talking to her friend. (grunts) 453 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,581 Now that you're not with Bertie anymore, 454 00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,624 maybe we can get back together. 455 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:26,128 No! Excuse me, 456 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,838 -step off. -What? 457 00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:29,590 -You broke up with him. -Yes, 458 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:32,718 -but he has to be single so he can be happy. -What? 459 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:36,138 And I want to say, "Back off, he's my man," 460 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,390 but I'm only stopping this dalliance for the sake 461 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,100 of restoring Speckle's mental health. 462 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,226 I'm confused. 463 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,146 I'm not single, I'm with you. 464 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,564 But maybe if you weren't, 465 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,608 you wouldn't be depressed anymore. 466 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:50,611 Maybe we need to break up for real. 467 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:53,363 (crying) 468 00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,824 PARTRIDGINA: You didn't really break up? 469 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,743 -Wow. -She lied. 470 00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,369 You have some nerve. 471 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,997 You're no longer invited to any of our country lake houses 472 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,999 or city pied-à-terres. 473 00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:05,834 No! 474 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,880 I think I might know what's going on. 475 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:13,008 I'm sorry. I can't help how I feel. 476 00:18:13,091 --> 00:18:15,177 Me neither. The truth is, 477 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:17,679 -I don't want to be friends. -No? 478 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,724 I'm observing very poor boundaries by saying this, 479 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:24,186 and I should probably report and fire myself, but... 480 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,562 I want you. 481 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,356 The thought of being with you is the only thing 482 00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,732 getting me through tonight. 483 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,276 I want you, too. (moans) 484 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:34,238 I want to strip your bark, tap your sap, 485 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:35,739 pour it on pancakes, 486 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,201 and then eat those pancakes with a side of bacon. 487 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,369 Oh, God. 488 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,538 (both moaning) 489 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,623 FIGGY: Oh, my God. 490 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:46,750 I'm sorry, Speckle. 491 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,294 I let myself get distracted by your ex-girlfriends 492 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,505 because I didn't know how to help you. 493 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:53,215 (sighs) Join the club. 494 00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,259 Not their club. The club where I'm here, 495 00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:58,345 feeling helpless. Definitely the worse club. 496 00:18:58,428 --> 00:18:59,930 I don't think so. 497 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,723 Bertie, I... 498 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,350 Hold on. 499 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:06,061 -(others groan) -I'm cutting you off, Speckle. 500 00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,730 Wait, no, this is the real speech, I promise. 501 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,941 (sighs) Bertie, it wasn't because 502 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,151 of my previous relationships that I was depressed, 503 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,280 and it wasn't because of the breakups that I got better. 504 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:19,533 I just get depressed sometimes, and, Bertie, 505 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:22,244 with you as my foreman, 506 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:25,372 I will rebuild my self-esteem 507 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,915 and we will house 508 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,126 many more good memories. 509 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,670 I... Uh... 510 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,922 Sorry, I returned to the construction site analogy. 511 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,301 I'm too depressed to think of anything else. 512 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,177 (microphone feedback) 513 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,680 I loved it. Mwah. 514 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:44,933 I didn't. (scoffs) That wasn't about my wedding at all. 515 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,102 It seems like you're really good for Speckle, 516 00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,980 and we love Speckle, so... 517 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,565 We're cool with you. 518 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,902 Aw, thanks. D-Does this mean I get to stay in the club? 519 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,322 Nope, sorry, but I'll give you the address of that sample sale. 520 00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,449 You need it. (laughs) 521 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,117 Yes! 522 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,535 Hey. 523 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,790 Ow. 524 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,129 Oh, no, let's get you home. 525 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,882 I'm fine. The party is just getting started. 526 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,467 -(groans) -Tuca! 527 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,676 Hey, I'm a nurse. 528 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,638 -Kara? -It's your cramps, right? 529 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,139 -I remember. -Yeah. 530 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,642 This happens every month, no big deal. 531 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,394 You need to go to a doctor. Your signs are wild. 532 00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,812 -(phone beeps) -It's gotten worse, huh? 533 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:33,357 Mm-hmm. 534 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,151 -(siren chirps) -Her blood pressure's 160. 535 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,819 Her heartbeat is inconsistent. 536 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,323 And my booty won't quit. (groans) 537 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,616 Figgy, 538 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:44,826 we could be together, and I can help you. 539 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,079 We can make this work, right? 540 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,011 (groaning) 541 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,430 Oh, no, Tuca. 542 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:06,848 (groans) 543 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:09,351 Can you give Speckle a ride? He shouldn't drive. 544 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:13,021 Aw, yeah, bro trip in the autobrobile. 545 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,483 (laughs) Oh, wow, I'm laughing again. 546 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,026 (laughs) 547 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,071 Oh, sorry, my emotions are inappropriate 548 00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,115 for the situation at hand. 549 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,283 (crying) 550 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:32,290 Gordie, there you are. 551 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:35,043 Hey, babe, this diversion is probably a good time 552 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,837 -for us to jet. -Why do we need to jet? 553 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,257 I may have ripped off the caterer to pay for the venue. 554 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:41,717 Don't be mad. 555 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,386 I couldn't afford to give you the wedding you deserve. 556 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,222 Babe, I can't change you, and I don't want to. 557 00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:49,683 I want to con with you by your side. 558 00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:52,728 So, honesty hour, I ripped off the venue 559 00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:53,937 to pay for the caterer. 560 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,772 So, nobody got paid, 561 00:21:55,856 --> 00:21:58,066 and we got a dope-ass wedding? 562 00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,943 Um, hell yeah. 563 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:04,031 Oh, Gordie. (moaning) 564 00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:07,451 ♪ ♪ 565 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:15,667 ♪ ♪ 566 00:22:42,277 --> 00:22:45,113 ♪ The chicken slide ♪ 567 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,742 ♪ Oh, we do the chicken slide ♪ 568 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:52,913 ♪ The chicken slide ♪ 569 00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:56,917 ♪ Oh, we do the chicken slide. ♪ 570 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:05,008 (dogs barking)