1
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:13,181
["Le reveur (Der Träumer)"
by Peggy Brown Singers playing]

2
00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,161
[singers vocalizing]

3
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,168
Oh! Fuck. [sighs]

4
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,505
Shit. [exhales]

5
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,147
[zipper sticks]

6
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No, no.

7
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[scoffs] No, not again. No.

8
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[grunts]

9
00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,160
[exhales]

10
00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:19,372
[taps buttons]

11
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[elevator bell dings]

12
00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,731
-[woman on TV] The environment's…
-[Jen] Hey, Char, what is this?

13
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:48,317
-What are you watching?
-[woman] I'm different. I wanna go home.

14
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That's my only objective. Get home.

15
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-It'll be five years and nine months.
-[sighs]

16
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I'm more than ready to go home.

17
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You don't appreciate
what you have until you don't have it.

18
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You shouldn't have gotten caught, Connie.

19
00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:01,914
-[clicks]
-[TV turns off]

20
00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:04,041
I was watching that.

21
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,669
No, you weren't.
Nobody should be watching that.

22
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[sighs] Okay.

23
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[exhales] All right.

24
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:13,467
What-- what are you doing?

25
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:15,761
My zipper is stuck,
so I need some help, please.

26
00:02:15,845 --> 00:02:18,598
[hesitates] Well, uh, you… you can--

27
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:22,935
OMG, don't make this awkward, Charlie.
Just zip up the dress.

28
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-[sighs]
-Okay.

29
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[Charlie sighs]

30
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,112
Are you sure you don't want me
to come to the funeral?

31
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:35,531
Uh, I don't wanna go,
so why would I make you go?

32
00:02:35,615 --> 00:02:37,241
I'm just going to say goodbye.

33
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,951
To Steve?

34
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No, to Ben.

35
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I mean, he doesn't live here.

36
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So, after today,
I won't-- I won't need to see him anymore.

37
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[Charlie huffs]

38
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-Which is good, honestly.
-[zipping]

39
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Because… that family is just… [chuckles]

40
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[sighs] They are… a riptide.

41
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It's just really hard to be-- [scoffs]

42
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,184
It's just-- oh, fu--

43
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Good talking with you, kid.

44
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So glad I'm raising an empath.

45
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What?

46
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:17,490
[doctor] Unfortunately,
the biopsy confirmed

47
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,492
that it is cervical cancer,

48
00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,494
and it has spread to your liver.

49
00:03:21,577 --> 00:03:24,330
And when we see these masses
so far from where they started,

50
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:27,208
it means we're looking at
a stage four diagnosis.

51
00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,751
[melancholy music plays]

52
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[doctor's voice fades]
I know this is hard to hear,

53
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,463
but there is a path forward.

54
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:36,425
Surgery isn't an option,
but we will start with chemotherapy,

55
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and if that is successful,
you'll move on to radiation.

56
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:41,097
[sound of waves lapping]

57
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,682
[doctor, faintly] One step at a time.

58
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,601
[doctor, faintly] Judy?

59
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,895
-Judy?
-Is that your boat?

60
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:51,357
Yeah. Yeah, it is.

61
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,818
It's beautiful. I always wanted a boat.

62
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-That's a catamaran, right?
-[doctor] Yeah.

63
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-I know this is a lot to process.
-Hmm.

64
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:02,243
[doctor] So, if you have
any questions, I'm…

65
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:05,955
[inhales, exhales]

66
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,082
What if I had never gotten those scans?

67
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,500
What do you mean?

68
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,920
I just mean that
if I had never gotten in that accident,

69
00:04:13,004 --> 00:04:15,965
I wouldn't even know that I have… it.

70
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:17,967
Well, then it's a good thing you did.

71
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Because now you do know,

72
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,305
and we can get started treating it
as quickly as possible.

73
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Right, but I just-- I feel fine.

74
00:04:25,141 --> 00:04:27,727
I mean, I feel a little sore
from the accident, but…

75
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I definitely don't feel anything

76
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like what you're say-- saying that it is.

77
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I get that this is hard to accept.

78
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No, it… it's not that.
Really, I… Thank you. [chuckles]

79
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:43,159
But I just-- I th--
I think I need another scan.

80
00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,619
I just-- I feel like
maybe the biopsy was faulty

81
00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:47,955
or maybe, like,
the needle lady did something wrong.

82
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Because, honestly,

83
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this whole thing just,
like, came out of nowhere.

84
00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:57,256
So I think maybe it's…
just like a mistake, right?

85
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Death comes for us all.

86
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But our ability to live fully

87
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,138
lies in our willingness to accept

88
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that death is a part of life.

89
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:11,103
When the unspeakable happens,
when someone is taken too young

90
00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:14,940
or by unthinkable violence,
as Jesus himself was,

91
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it shakes our very foundation.

92
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:20,780
[Pastor Wayne] In these darkest of times,

93
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we must look to God's light
and to one another

94
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for comfort and community
so we may begin to heal together.

95
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Amen.

96
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:35,002
Let's go say goodbye to Ben
and then get the fuck out of here.

97
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:36,754
[sighs]

98
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,589
-Oh, do I have to take you to work?
-What?

99
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,091
What did the mechanic say?

100
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,759
-What?
-About your car?

101
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:45,554
Oh. Oh, yeah, right.
He said it's fine. It's totally fine.

102
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,933
-Are you okay?
-No, this is really intense.

103
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,227
Yeah, this is a fuck ton of awful.

104
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,687
All right, why don't I just slip out,

105
00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:56,399
and we can send them some flowers
and a nice note?

106
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,109
Don't you think
that's a little impersonal?

107
00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,527
Look, that's kind of the point.

108
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I mean, I'm the last person
who should be personal--

109
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-[Ben] Hey.
-[Jen gasps] Hey.

110
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Thank you both so much for coming.
It really--

111
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:07,910
-Yeah. Oh, gosh.
-It really means a lot.

112
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,995
-We wouldn't have missed this.
-Of course, no, yeah.

113
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:13,999
-We had to be here. This is what we do.
-We wanna say goodbyes and stuff.

114
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[groans] I'm so sorry. I love you.

115
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[groans, sighs] Thank you, Jude.

116
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,924
-All right, me…
-[Ben] Aww.

117
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Oh, I'm sure my mother
would love to see you.

118
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,640
Oh, she would?

119
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[Eileen screaming]

120
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[Eileen sobs]

121
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Might wanna give it a beat.

122
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,066
-Yeah.
-[Eileen continues screaming]

123
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We're gonna say goodbye to Eileen,
and then we are out of here.

124
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:46,991
I don't know if you've noticed,

125
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,243
but Eileen is standing
right next to the casket.

126
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:52,121
Yeah, I noticed that.
It's not sitting well.

127
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,666
-Who's the guy in the wheelchair?
-[Judy] That's the dad. Jim.

128
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,294
What? The dad's in a wheelchair?

129
00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:00,254
-What happened?
-They never talk about it.

130
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,715
I've never seen him without that blanket,
so it can't be good.

131
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,593
Oh, gosh. Yeah, well,
it can't be as bad as an open casket.

132
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:08,679
Why would you do that?
It's like, no one wants to be remembered

133
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,056
looking like yourself,
but make it marzipan.

134
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,224
[Judy groans]

135
00:07:12,725 --> 00:07:16,103
You know what? If I die before you,
keep my shit locked down.

136
00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:18,689
You're not dying. No one is dying.

137
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,650
-[Kaley] Hey, girl.
-Hey, girl.

138
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:23,444
So tragic, right, girl?

139
00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:24,403
Right, girl.

140
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He never got to see the Northern Lights
or open that hotel.

141
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,700
Or go on safari to Africa and…

142
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,912
-And kill an elephant.
-Ah!

143
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,498
That is so awful.

144
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,833
-He just had so much life left to live.
-[Jen] Mm-hmm.

145
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:41,170
Makes you really wanna
carpe diem the day, right, girl?

146
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,464
-Right, girl.
-[man] Right this way, girls.

147
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Okay.

148
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,384
-[groans]
-[Judy] I know.

149
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:50,638
-[Judy groans]
-[Jen] I know.

150
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:51,805
[Judy] Oh, God.

151
00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,766
-Okay, we don't have to look.
-[Judy] I can't.

152
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,267
-I'm looking.
-Me too.

153
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,979
-I'm so confused.
-[Jen] What is happening?

154
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:00,856
-Isn't it horrible?
-[Jen yelps]

155
00:08:00,940 --> 00:08:02,441
The body was NSFF.

156
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:03,859
What the-- what does that mean?

157
00:08:03,943 --> 00:08:05,611
-Not suitable for a funeral.
-[Jen gasps]

158
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,821
You can't pour soup into a suit.

159
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:08,739
[Jen groans]

160
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,742
Apparently, the FBI
is still scrubbing the body,

161
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,453
well, the husk of it, for evidence.

162
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:15,829
-God, really?
-[Lorna] Mm-hmm.

163
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:18,666
-[Judy whimpers]
-Judy, I see you came.

164
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,209
Of course, Eileen.

165
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,461
Oh, I'm so sorry.

166
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,129
[Eileen groans, gasps]

167
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:28,092
-It doesn't feel real.
-None of it does.

168
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,806
-I always loved this suit on him.
-Hmm.

169
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,516
He looked so good in blue.

170
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,185
Oh, he does, doesn't he?

171
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:39,770
[laughs softly]

172
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,610
[Eileen murmurs, chuckles]

173
00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,446
Poor thing.

174
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,241
Such a devastating time for her.
And for me.

175
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,576
Mm. Here we go.

176
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:56,453
-She decided not to sell the mansion.
-Oh.

177
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,205
Said she couldn't let go
of one more thing,

178
00:08:58,289 --> 00:09:00,874
which of course I understand.

179
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,794
-I wrote the book on loss.
-Actually a lot of books on loss.

180
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,547
-But it would've been so much money.
-Mm-hmm.

181
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:08,882
I could truly have had systemic wealth.

182
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:12,011
God, I'm so sorry for your financial loss.

183
00:09:12,094 --> 00:09:13,721
Thank you. [murmurs]

184
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:17,016
-I have to get out of here.
-I'm right behind you.

185
00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,059
Oh, Jen, so kind of you to come.

186
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:21,312
-[whispers] Save yourself.
-[mouths] Thank you.

187
00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:23,230
-[Eileen groans]
-Eileen.

188
00:09:23,314 --> 00:09:27,651
[sighs] My condolences,
really, just all of the condolences.

189
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,069
Thank you, dear.

190
00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:31,739
We're going to be heading back
to the house with a small group.

191
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,949
I-- I was hoping you'd care to join.

192
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:36,577
Oh, no, I really can't.

193
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,579
-I have--
-I know it'd mean a lot to Benji.

194
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,539
He's having such a hard time.

195
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,752
[voice breaks] He could
really use a good friend.

196
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,962
[Jen] Oh, Eileen, come here.

197
00:09:47,046 --> 00:09:49,173
[Eileen sobbing]

198
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,382
[Jen] Okay.

199
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:52,718
[Eileen blubbers]

200
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,678
-[continues sobbing]
-Let it out.

201
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:06,023
[emotional music plays]

202
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,032
[exhales]

203
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,784
[sniffles]

204
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:38,639
Oh, shit.

205
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:39,723
[Flo] Ay, Dios mío.

206
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,351
-Give me a break.
-You just got back from the hospital.

207
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:45,020
You're supposed to be on bed rest.
You cannot leave.

208
00:10:45,104 --> 00:10:48,107
Those doctors don't know
what they're talking about.

209
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:51,694
I can't get fresh air?
This place smells like death.

210
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:53,696
Why don't you watch some TV or something?

211
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,614
I mean, we can find you a telenovela.

212
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,783
-That's racist.
-Really?

213
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,911
Hey! Teri, I can tap you out if you want.

214
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:01,870
Are you sure?

215
00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:02,955
Happy to.

216
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,331
[gasps, mouths] Thank you.

217
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,127
By the way, great top.
I love that neckline on you.

218
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:10,003
Are you serious? I got this on sale.

219
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,338
-What?
-[Teri] Mm-hmm.

220
00:11:11,422 --> 00:11:12,923
-Look at you, smart shopper!
-Thank you.

221
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,550
Yeah! Thank you!

222
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:18,429
[forced laughter]

223
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:23,767
-What the hell are you doing?
-Getting you out of here.

224
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,812
-This place does smell like death.
-It does, right?

225
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,192
-Heard it was a crime of passion.
-Yeah.

226
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,986
They're saying he was stabbed in the head.

227
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:35,946
Can you imagine a more painful way to go?

228
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,240
[Jen, under breath]
Get me the fuck out of here.

229
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,158
Hey.

230
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,704
Hey! Did my mother guilt you
into coming to the after-party?

231
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,790
Oh, God, no. No, no.
No, I mean, that's not the--

232
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,167
No, there's no guilt.

233
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,252
-No, I'm-- I'm happy to be here.
-Yeah, not guilt…

234
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,255
-I'm not happy to be here. [chuckles]
-Yeah, no. Well-- yeah.

235
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:55,424
-Of course you're not happy.
-Because it's, uh--

236
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,467
Yeah, who's happy?

237
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:57,718
Not me! [groans]

238
00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,220
-Yeah. Anyhoo, I, um…
-[groans]

239
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,682
I'm assuming you're gonna be
going back to San Fran now that-- that--

240
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,726
No, actually, um,

241
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,187
they asked me to stick around
while the FBI,

242
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,355
uh, do their thang.

243
00:12:10,439 --> 00:12:12,191
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-So…

244
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,818
-That thang.
-Who's this?

245
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,822
Oh, sorry. Uh, this is my father Jim.
Dad, this is my…

246
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:21,200
My friend Jen.

247
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,117
[Jen gasps]

248
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:23,285
Happy to meet you.

249
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,245
I'm so sorry for your loss, Jim.

250
00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:26,330
Me too.

251
00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,417
Your children
aren't supposed to go before you.

252
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:33,587
It's… not right.

253
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:36,799
No, it's not.

254
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,884
Ben, would you take my plate for me?

255
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,177
Sure, Dad. [chuckles]

256
00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,723
He's a good boy.

257
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,517
Yeah, he is.

258
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:50,479
I'm so happy he finally met a nice girl.

259
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,106
Oh, no, no. I'm not, um--

260
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,317
No, we're just friends.

261
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,278
Friends are good too.

262
00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,615
Oh, no. That is my butt.
That is my butthole.

263
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:03,909
Would you excuse me? I just--

264
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:07,871
I just need to, um,
get the fuck away from you.

265
00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:12,167
[melancholy music plays]

266
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,295
Where the fuck is the bathroom?

267
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,812
What the fuck?

268
00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,191
What-- oh!

269
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,861
[grunts] No, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.

270
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,029
No, no, no, no, no.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

271
00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,531
[whimpers]

272
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,700
[whimpers]

273
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:47,661
[sighs] Okay…

274
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,664
[sighs] Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

275
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,332
-[inhales]
-[line ringing]

276
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:54,126
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

277
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:55,669
[gasps]

278
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,133
-You've reached Ben. Leave a message.
-Oh, fuck.

279
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,053
Okay.

280
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,180
I'm in hell.

281
00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:13,937
None of you move, please.

282
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:17,274
Oh, come on now.
You don't know Celia Cruz? [chuckles]

283
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,152
-The Queen of Salsa?
-I gotta get into that. I love salsa.

284
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,154
Jesus, Mom.
We've been looking for you all over.

285
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,281
-Hi, Michelle.
-Judy, where were you?

286
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,575
Oh, we just took a stroll
on the boardwalk. She's fine.

287
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,160
You could have fucking told somebody.

288
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,622
You're right. Sorry.
Your hair looks longer. It's nice.

289
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:32,998
Thanks. I gave up.

290
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,584
What is this? What are you-- [sniffs]

291
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,252
Mom, are you drinking a margarita?

292
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:38,462
I was.

293
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,590
She cannot mix alcohol
with her meds, Judy.

294
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,759
-She told me she wasn't taking any meds.
-She lied.

295
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,261
-Really?
-Great. Now she's wasted.

296
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,138
[Judy grunts]

297
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,226
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

298
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,062
I just wanted
to take her for some fresh air.

299
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,647
She's been in the hospital for so long.

300
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,774
Yeah, because she's immunocompromised.

301
00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,817
She just had her second stroke, Judy.

302
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:03,445
What? I… [sighs] I had no idea.

303
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,448
I'm so sorry. I will--
It-- it won't happen again.

304
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,116
No, it won't.

305
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:15,707
Hey, Judy, wait.

306
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:20,796
Can you just tell me
if she had anything else to eat or drink?

307
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,590
Oh, um… [clicks tongue]

308
00:15:23,674 --> 00:15:25,884
Just the one weak margarita. No salt.

309
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:29,388
And I did buy her one
very small cup of soft serve.

310
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,514
'Cause it's soft serve.

311
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:33,433
[sighs] She loves soft serve.

312
00:15:33,517 --> 00:15:35,352
Who doesn't? Right?

313
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,562
She also asked
for a cherry on top, but I said no.

314
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:39,773
'Cause I know that
they never wash those cherries.

315
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:43,944
-Yeah, those cherries are toilet fruit.
-Oh, the grossest.

316
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,321
Don't they, like,
stay in your stomach for, like, 200 years?

317
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,076
I'm so sorry, Michelle.

318
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,953
I know you must think
I'm a horrible person

319
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,872
after everything that Perez--
I mean, uh, Ana, said.

320
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,875
I texted you a bunch.
I don't know if you got 'em.

321
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:00,877
I did.

322
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,755
Oh, okay. Okay.

323
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:05,882
Cool.

324
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,512
I really hope your mom is okay.

325
00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:14,266
It was nice to see you.

326
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:23,942
Hey, she-- she's gonna be fine.
She had a really great time, by the way.

327
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,027
Really?

328
00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:29,614
Yeah, I haven't seen her smile in forever.
It's almost kind of jarring.

329
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,158
I had never seen her teeth before.

330
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,160
-[laughs]
-They looked good! [chuckles]

331
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:35,579
-[Michelle chuckles]
-You look good.

332
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,832
Think it's just the teeth.
They run in the family.

333
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,334
The rest of me
is falling apart at the seams,

334
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,211
I think is the medical term.

335
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,797
[sighs] I know it can't be easy
with your mom.

336
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,302
It very literally keeps me up at night.

337
00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:55,182
I never knew that I could be
this fucking stressed out about anything.

338
00:16:58,727 --> 00:16:59,936
If you're up for it,

339
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,939
I know somewhere
we can get a weak margarita.

340
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:05,192
Don't you have to work?

341
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,401
Oh, no, I just got fired.

342
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,112
-Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
-No.

343
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,781
-No. Don't be.
-I can go talk to them.

344
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,824
-That's not--
-Do not be sorry.

345
00:17:12,908 --> 00:17:13,909
I actually, um…

346
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,119
I actually think it's for the best.

347
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,706
Especially if it means
that I get to have a drink with you.

348
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:25,879
Not a murderer, right?

349
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:30,133
No! God, no. [chuckles]

350
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,135
I mean, sometimes my jokes kill.

351
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,555
I'll go get my jacket.

352
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,933
[Ben] Do you know what room you're in?

353
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,976
Um…

354
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,604
Yeah, it seems like some sort of, um,

355
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:46,233
Victorian nightmare space?

356
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,319
[inhales] Ah. Okay. I'm coming.

357
00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:53,365
No.

358
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:56,785
No. Oh.

359
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,247
[sighs] Okay, what…

360
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,791
This is the twin doll room.

361
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,628
-Because my mother collects twin dolls.
-So there are two of them. Okay.

362
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,131
I just-- because I really thought
I was, like, going… wah!

363
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,090
-[chuckles]
-No, no.

364
00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:12,467
-[chuckles]
-And what… why…?

365
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,011
Excellent question.
It all started when we were young.

366
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,805
Steve and I always
had to have the same toy.

367
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:21,226
And then we grew out of dolls,
and my mom… didn't.

368
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:22,144
Okay.

369
00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:23,895
Just curious.

370
00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,274
Uh, do they actually come as--
as a twin set,

371
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,775
or did she buy…

372
00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:31,444
-No one actually knows.
-Oh, got it. Got it.

373
00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:33,947
[whispers] Uh, and are… are--

374
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:36,449
Excuse me, are they supposed to blink?

375
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:40,203
Because I'm-- I'm pretty sure
a couple of them blinked.

376
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,830
[exhales] Yeah, I don't…

377
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,915
I don't know. Maybe.

378
00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,168
Maybe.

379
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:48,336
[melancholy music plays]

380
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:51,882
How you doing?

381
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,550
Hmm?

382
00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,429
I'm… [sighs]

383
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,099
I wouldn't say
I'm living my best life, you know.

384
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,352
That makes sense.

385
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:05,937
Yeah.

386
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,733
I've just been trying to…
[sniffles, clears throat]

387
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,360
…keep it all together for my parents,
you know?

388
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:15,572
But I'm not sure how much longer
I'm gonna be able to do that. [shudders]

389
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:20,202
Well, maybe you-- you need to let it out.

390
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,247
How do you do that?

391
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,333
[loud heavy metal music playing]

392
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:29,961
[indistinct death growl vocals playing]

393
00:19:30,545 --> 00:19:32,339
-[Ben clears throat]
-What do you think?

394
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,258
Uh, they're talented.

395
00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:36,259
-Uh…
-You hate it.

396
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,844
No, no, no. I ju-- I--

397
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,556
[exhales] Maybe I just don't get it?
Uh, what? Do you just--

398
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,725
Do you just kind of scream along with 'em?

399
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,604
Yeah, or just have them scream for you.

400
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:51,983
-Maybe you just need, like, a deeper cut.
-[music stops]

401
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:55,111
[Jen] Hmm. Let's see. Something good.

402
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:59,199
Yeah, you know, I-- I'm actually more
of a classic country kinda guy.

403
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,409
-Ugh.
-Oh.

404
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,453
-Really?
-[laughs]

405
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,205
Willie Nelson? Dolly Parton?

406
00:20:06,081 --> 00:20:07,999
I-- I mean, sure…

407
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:10,460
Here.

408
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,545
[heavy metal music playing]
♪ Die, motherfucker ♪

409
00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,089
[indistinct death growl vocals]

410
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,633
♪ Die, motherfucker
I will never be your slave ♪

411
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:20,553
♪ Die, motherfucker… ♪
[death growl vocals continue]

412
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:23,890
I used to listen to this a lot
after Ted died.

413
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:26,726
Why?

414
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:28,645
I don't know.

415
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,149
It sounded like… like how I felt.

416
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,444
I was-- I was angry.

417
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,782
Can I play you something?

418
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:43,326
[Michelle sighs] Okay.

419
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,829
Let's see what the future holds.

420
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,876
Oh, the death card. [sniffles]

421
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,920
-That's weird.
-I mean, it's not literal.

422
00:20:54,004 --> 00:20:56,715
It's more like…
about a big life change, you know?

423
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,133
Yeah, yeah, no, no, I know.

424
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:01,261
It's just, uh, whew!
He looks a-- a little deathy.

425
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:05,390
[laughs] What, the, uh, skeleton
on horseback holding a scythe?

426
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:07,100
Not comforting?

427
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,810
-Not so much.
-[laughs]

428
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:13,315
-Okay…
-Ooh, that's a lot of knives.

429
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,025
-Wow!
-And a noose.

430
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:15,984
Yeah, that's a noose.

431
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,653
-You got a lot of shit going on right now.
-Yeah.

432
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:21,031
Uh, that's an accurate deck.

433
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,992
-Do you wanna talk about it?
-No, I wanna drink about it.

434
00:21:25,368 --> 00:21:26,745
Okay, let's drink about it.

435
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:33,043
I think that card was meant for me anyway.

436
00:21:33,126 --> 00:21:34,961
-The restaurant closed last week.
-What?

437
00:21:35,045 --> 00:21:35,920
Yeah.

438
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,047
-No!
-Mm-hmm.

439
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,798
That place was so beautiful.

440
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:42,218
Thanks, but, you know,
it's like how they always say.

441
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,304
When one door closes,

442
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:47,766
then God just flattens
the fuck out of your town.

443
00:21:47,849 --> 00:21:49,267
-Oh.
-And you gotta move out west.

444
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,019
-Really? Is that what they say?
-[laughs]

445
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:52,354
No, I don't know, probably not.

446
00:21:52,437 --> 00:21:55,857
-I'm really bad at remembering quotes.
-[laughing]

447
00:21:55,940 --> 00:22:00,528
Okay, well, since God
just fucking flattened your town,

448
00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,322
what, uh, are you gonna do next?

449
00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:05,033
Well… [clicks tongue]

450
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:08,370
It's, um, it's early days, but…

451
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:10,663
Um…

452
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,457
-What? What?
-[blubbers]

453
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,418
I don't know. I'm having trouble
saying this out loud. It's funny.

454
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:17,379
Um, okay.

455
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:23,426
There is an opportunity in Sonoma for me

456
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:26,638
to possibly open up my own restaurant.

457
00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,640
What? Michelle!

458
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,433
-Judy!
-[gasps]

459
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:33,561
I know. It's a really great space,
and it's attached to an organic winery.

460
00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:37,107
I love organic wine! I think.
I don't know if I've ever had it.

461
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:38,441
[both laugh]

462
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,736
I mean, nothing's signed yet,
but it feels good to say it.

463
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,948
It felt good to hear it. Ah!

464
00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:49,452
So what about you?

465
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:52,539
[sighs, scoffs] What about me?

466
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,876
Well, your life is… kind of wide open now.

467
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:01,965
So, if you could do anything
that you wanted to do, what would you do?

468
00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:09,722
[Michelle] Mm.

469
00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:14,018
[moaning]

470
00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:17,397
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

471
00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,691
Do we know what we're doing?

472
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:22,986
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not really in a place to like…

473
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,196
Oh, God. No, no, no, not me either.

474
00:23:27,115 --> 00:23:28,533
[both] Okay.

475
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:33,997
[laughing]

476
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,708
["I Fall to Pieces"
by Patsy Cline playing]

477
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:39,627
So like, you just-- you just sit around

478
00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,504
and just cry to this?

479
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,340
[laughing]

480
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,926
Are you kidding? Definitely yes.

481
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:47,886
Oh.

482
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:49,471
[both chuckle]

483
00:23:49,554 --> 00:23:53,475
-No, it's not that I… always cry to it.
-Mm-hmm.

484
00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:54,642
Sometimes I…

485
00:23:55,393 --> 00:23:57,729
-I sing along.
-Oh.

486
00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:00,023
[music continues]

487
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:03,860
[sings along to song] ♪ I fall ♪

488
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:07,322
♪ To pieces ♪

489
00:24:09,199 --> 00:24:14,704
♪ How can I be just your friend? ♪

490
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,251
♪ You want me to act ♪

491
00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:23,213
♪ Like we never kissed ♪

492
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:24,506
[Ben stops singing]

493
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,008
[song continues]
♪ You want me to forget… ♪

494
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:30,512
Yeah, I can see why you… why you like it.

495
00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:32,722
Yeah.

496
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:37,227
♪ And I've tried and I've tried… ♪

497
00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:39,938
Uh, you know what, um,

498
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:43,733
what else would help when…
when Ted died was--

499
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:46,694
is-- is getting up and-- and moving.

500
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,905
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.

501
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,032
I mean, any physical activity

502
00:24:51,115 --> 00:24:55,036
can just be a… a release, you know?

503
00:24:56,246 --> 00:24:57,121
In fact… [chuckles]

504
00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:58,081
…one time,

505
00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:01,334
I smashed a car with a golf club.

506
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,670
-That felt really good.
-[gasps]

507
00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:05,588
Really?

508
00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:06,631
-Wow.
-Yeah.

509
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:07,715
I hope it was your car.

510
00:25:07,799 --> 00:25:10,009
Uh, no. No.

511
00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:14,347
I thought it was the guy who hit Ted.

512
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:16,808
It wasn't. [chuckles]

513
00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:19,185
But I mean,
I didn't know that at the time.

514
00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:21,312
Oh, got-- gotcha.

515
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:22,564
[Jen] Mm-hmm.

516
00:25:22,647 --> 00:25:24,274
I know that's hard.

517
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,317
The not knowing.

518
00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:29,070
Yeah, I know you know.

519
00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:30,905
Sorry.

520
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:35,702
[exhales sharply] No, I'm sorry.

521
00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:38,830
Why? You didn't hit him.

522
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:42,917
No, but I…

523
00:25:44,794 --> 00:25:46,170
I hit you.

524
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,340
What? Uh…

525
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:51,509
-I don't understand.
-[sighs]

526
00:25:52,802 --> 00:25:55,972
-That's 'cause it doesn't make sense.
-Hmm?

527
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:59,142
But… it was me.

528
00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:01,686
I was--

529
00:26:02,604 --> 00:26:04,188
I was driving the car

530
00:26:04,856 --> 00:26:06,232
that hit you and Judy.

531
00:26:08,776 --> 00:26:11,154
I-- I'd just gotten the call about Steve,

532
00:26:11,779 --> 00:26:14,907
and I started drinking, and I--

533
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,827
I couldn't stop.

534
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,706
I got in my car, and I-- I took off.

535
00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:24,042
And I didn't…

536
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,169
I didn't stop.

537
00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:28,296
And I get it.

538
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,299
You never wanna see me again.

539
00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:33,217
[inhales]

540
00:26:33,301 --> 00:26:35,219
But I had to tell you.

541
00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:41,059
♪ You want me to act
Like we've never kissed… ♪

542
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:43,603
[Jen moans]

543
00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:49,692
I don't wanna jinx it, but I think
I might actually get some sleep tonight.

544
00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:51,402
I'm so glad.

545
00:26:51,486 --> 00:26:52,487
[Michelle chuckles]

546
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:55,490
You really are a happy-maker.
You know that?

547
00:26:56,449 --> 00:26:57,784
You're a happy-maker.

548
00:26:58,576 --> 00:26:59,661
Seriously.

549
00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:01,454
Thank you.

550
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,122
For what?

551
00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:07,794
I didn't know how badly I needed tonight.

552
00:27:09,087 --> 00:27:11,631
It's, like, weirdly cathartic.

553
00:27:15,009 --> 00:27:16,010
Yeah.

554
00:27:18,721 --> 00:27:22,308
[soft melancholy music plays]

555
00:27:30,817 --> 00:27:31,901
I have cancer.

556
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:44,038
[scoffs]

557
00:28:13,693 --> 00:28:15,111
[whispers] I have cancer.

558
00:28:16,738 --> 00:28:18,239
["I Fall to Pieces" continues playing]

559
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:23,661
-[Jen moaning softly]
-♪ You walk by and I fall to pieces ♪

560
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:26,080
[Ben whispers] Wow.

561
00:28:26,164 --> 00:28:32,128
♪ You walk by and I fall to pieces… ♪

562
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,338
-[Jen moans, gasps]
-[Ben shushes]

563
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:40,344
[theme music playing]

564
00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:15,439
[cat meows]