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["Le reveur (Der Träumer)"
by Peggy Brown Singers playing]
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[singers vocalizing]
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Oh! Fuck. [sighs]
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Shit. [exhales]
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[zipper sticks]
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No, no.
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[scoffs] No, not again. No.
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[grunts]
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[exhales]
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[taps buttons]
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[elevator bell dings]
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[woman on TV] The environment's…
-[Jen] Hey, Char, what is this?
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What are you watching?
-[woman] I'm different. I wanna go home.
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That's my only objective. Get home.
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-It'll be five years and nine months.
-[sighs]
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I'm more than ready to go home.
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You don't appreciate
what you have until you don't have it.
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You shouldn't have gotten caught, Connie.
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-[clicks]
-[TV turns off]
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I was watching that.
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No, you weren't.
Nobody should be watching that.
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[sighs] Okay.
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[exhales] All right.
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What-- what are you doing?
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My zipper is stuck,
so I need some help, please.
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[hesitates] Well, uh, you… you can--
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OMG, don't make this awkward, Charlie.
Just zip up the dress.
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-[sighs]
-Okay.
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[Charlie sighs]
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Are you sure you don't want me
to come to the funeral?
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Uh, I don't wanna go,
so why would I make you go?
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I'm just going to say goodbye.
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To Steve?
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No, to Ben.
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I mean, he doesn't live here.
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So, after today,
I won't-- I won't need to see him anymore.
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[Charlie huffs]
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-Which is good, honestly.
-[zipping]
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Because… that family is just… [chuckles]
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[sighs] They are… a riptide.
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It's just really hard to be-- [scoffs]
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It's just-- oh, fu--
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Good talking with you, kid.
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So glad I'm raising an empath.
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What?
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[doctor] Unfortunately,
the biopsy confirmed
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that it is cervical cancer,
48
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and it has spread to your liver.
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And when we see these masses
so far from where they started,
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it means we're looking at
a stage four diagnosis.
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[melancholy music plays]
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[doctor's voice fades]
I know this is hard to hear,
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but there is a path forward.
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Surgery isn't an option,
but we will start with chemotherapy,
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and if that is successful,
you'll move on to radiation.
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[sound of waves lapping]
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[doctor, faintly] One step at a time.
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[doctor, faintly] Judy?
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-Judy?
-Is that your boat?
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Yeah. Yeah, it is.
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It's beautiful. I always wanted a boat.
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-That's a catamaran, right?
-[doctor] Yeah.
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-I know this is a lot to process.
-Hmm.
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[doctor] So, if you have
any questions, I'm…
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[inhales, exhales]
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What if I had never gotten those scans?
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What do you mean?
68
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I just mean that
if I had never gotten in that accident,
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I wouldn't even know that I have… it.
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Well, then it's a good thing you did.
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Because now you do know,
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and we can get started treating it
as quickly as possible.
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Right, but I just-- I feel fine.
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I mean, I feel a little sore
from the accident, but…
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I definitely don't feel anything
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like what you're say-- saying that it is.
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I get that this is hard to accept.
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No, it… it's not that.
Really, I… Thank you. [chuckles]
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But I just-- I th--
I think I need another scan.
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I just-- I feel like
maybe the biopsy was faulty
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or maybe, like,
the needle lady did something wrong.
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Because, honestly,
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this whole thing just,
like, came out of nowhere.
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So I think maybe it's…
just like a mistake, right?
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Death comes for us all.
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But our ability to live fully
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lies in our willingness to accept
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that death is a part of life.
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When the unspeakable happens,
when someone is taken too young
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or by unthinkable violence,
as Jesus himself was,
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it shakes our very foundation.
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[Pastor Wayne] In these darkest of times,
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we must look to God's light
and to one another
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for comfort and community
so we may begin to heal together.
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Amen.
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Let's go say goodbye to Ben
and then get the fuck out of here.
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[sighs]
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-Oh, do I have to take you to work?
-What?
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What did the mechanic say?
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00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,721
-What?
-About your car?
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Oh. Oh, yeah, right.
He said it's fine. It's totally fine.
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-Are you okay?
-No, this is really intense.
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Yeah, this is a fuck ton of awful.
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All right, why don't I just slip out,
105
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and we can send them some flowers
and a nice note?
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Don't you think
that's a little impersonal?
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Look, that's kind of the point.
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I mean, I'm the last person
who should be personal--
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-[Ben] Hey.
-[Jen gasps] Hey.
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Thank you both so much for coming.
It really--
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-Yeah. Oh, gosh.
-It really means a lot.
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-We wouldn't have missed this.
-Of course, no, yeah.
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-We had to be here. This is what we do.
-We wanna say goodbyes and stuff.
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[groans] I'm so sorry. I love you.
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[groans, sighs] Thank you, Jude.
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-All right, me…
-[Ben] Aww.
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Oh, I'm sure my mother
would love to see you.
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Oh, she would?
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[Eileen screaming]
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[Eileen sobs]
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Might wanna give it a beat.
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-Yeah.
-[Eileen continues screaming]
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We're gonna say goodbye to Eileen,
and then we are out of here.
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I don't know if you've noticed,
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but Eileen is standing
right next to the casket.
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Yeah, I noticed that.
It's not sitting well.
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-Who's the guy in the wheelchair?
-[Judy] That's the dad. Jim.
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What? The dad's in a wheelchair?
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-What happened?
-They never talk about it.
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I've never seen him without that blanket,
so it can't be good.
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Oh, gosh. Yeah, well,
it can't be as bad as an open casket.
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Why would you do that?
It's like, no one wants to be remembered
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looking like yourself,
but make it marzipan.
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[Judy groans]
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You know what? If I die before you,
keep my shit locked down.
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You're not dying. No one is dying.
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-[Kaley] Hey, girl.
-Hey, girl.
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So tragic, right, girl?
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Right, girl.
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He never got to see the Northern Lights
or open that hotel.
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Or go on safari to Africa and…
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-And kill an elephant.
-Ah!
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That is so awful.
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-He just had so much life left to live.
-[Jen] Mm-hmm.
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Makes you really wanna
carpe diem the day, right, girl?
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-Right, girl.
-[man] Right this way, girls.
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Okay.
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-[groans]
-[Judy] I know.
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-[Judy groans]
-[Jen] I know.
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[Judy] Oh, God.
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-Okay, we don't have to look.
-[Judy] I can't.
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-I'm looking.
-Me too.
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-I'm so confused.
-[Jen] What is happening?
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-Isn't it horrible?
-[Jen yelps]
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The body was NSFF.
156
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What the-- what does that mean?
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-Not suitable for a funeral.
-[Jen gasps]
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You can't pour soup into a suit.
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[Jen groans]
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Apparently, the FBI
is still scrubbing the body,
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well, the husk of it, for evidence.
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-God, really?
-[Lorna] Mm-hmm.
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-[Judy whimpers]
-Judy, I see you came.
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Of course, Eileen.
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Oh, I'm so sorry.
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[Eileen groans, gasps]
167
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-It doesn't feel real.
-None of it does.
168
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-I always loved this suit on him.
-Hmm.
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He looked so good in blue.
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Oh, he does, doesn't he?
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[laughs softly]
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[Eileen murmurs, chuckles]
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Poor thing.
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Such a devastating time for her.
And for me.
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Mm. Here we go.
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-She decided not to sell the mansion.
-Oh.
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Said she couldn't let go
of one more thing,
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which of course I understand.
179
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,745
-I wrote the book on loss.
-Actually a lot of books on loss.
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00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,504
-But it would've been so much money.
-Mm-hmm.
181
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,837
I could truly have had systemic wealth.
182
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God, I'm so sorry for your financial loss.
183
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Thank you. [murmurs]
184
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-I have to get out of here.
-I'm right behind you.
185
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Oh, Jen, so kind of you to come.
186
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-[whispers] Save yourself.
-[mouths] Thank you.
187
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-[Eileen groans]
-Eileen.
188
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[sighs] My condolences,
really, just all of the condolences.
189
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,032
Thank you, dear.
190
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,700
We're going to be heading back
to the house with a small group.
191
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,909
I-- I was hoping you'd care to join.
192
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,530
Oh, no, I really can't.
193
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,537
-I have--
-I know it'd mean a lot to Benji.
194
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,499
He's having such a hard time.
195
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,709
[voice breaks] He could
really use a good friend.
196
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,922
[Jen] Oh, Eileen, come here.
197
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,133
[Eileen sobbing]
198
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:50,343
[Jen] Okay.
199
00:09:51,799 --> 00:09:52,679
[Eileen blubbers]
200
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,638
-[continues sobbing]
-Let it out.
201
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,980
[emotional music plays]
202
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,987
[exhales]
203
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:16,740
[sniffles]
204
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,603
Oh, shit.
205
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:39,679
[Flo] Ay, Dios mío.
206
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,314
-Give me a break.
-You just got back from the hospital.
207
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,981
You're supposed to be on bed rest.
You cannot leave.
208
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:48,061
Those doctors don't know
what they're talking about.
209
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,647
I can't get fresh air?
This place smells like death.
210
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,654
Why don't you watch some TV or something?
211
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,566
I mean, we can find you a telenovela.
212
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,735
-That's racist.
-Really?
213
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,873
Hey! Teri, I can tap you out if you want.
214
00:11:00,951 --> 00:11:01,831
Are you sure?
215
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,911
Happy to.
216
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,285
[gasps, mouths] Thank you.
217
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,081
By the way, great top.
I love that neckline on you.
218
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,957
Are you serious? I got this on sale.
219
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,304
-What?
-[Teri] Mm-hmm.
220
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,879
-Look at you, smart shopper!
-Thank you.
221
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:14,513
Yeah! Thank you!
222
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:18,390
[forced laughter]
223
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,719
-What the hell are you doing?
-Getting you out of here.
224
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,768
-This place does smell like death.
-It does, right?
225
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,146
-Heard it was a crime of passion.
-Yeah.
226
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,943
They're saying he was stabbed in the head.
227
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,896
Can you imagine a more painful way to go?
228
00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:38,196
[Jen, under breath]
Get me the fuck out of here.
229
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,120
Hey.
230
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,657
Hey! Did my mother guilt you
into coming to the after-party?
231
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,754
Oh, God, no. No, no.
No, I mean, that's not the--
232
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,121
No, there's no guilt.
233
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,207
-No, I'm-- I'm happy to be here.
-Yeah, not guilt…
234
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,212
-I'm not happy to be here. [chuckles]
-Yeah, no. Well-- yeah.
235
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,375
-Of course you're not happy.
-Because it's, uh--
236
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,424
Yeah, who's happy?
237
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,677
Not me! [groans]
238
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,178
-Yeah. Anyhoo, I, um…
-[groans]
239
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,643
I'm assuming you're gonna be
going back to San Fran now that-- that--
240
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,683
No, actually, um,
241
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:08,136
they asked me to stick around
while the FBI,
242
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,307
uh, do their thang.
243
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,146
-Oh, yeah, sure.
-So…
244
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,783
-That thang.
-Who's this?
245
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:18,777
Oh, sorry. Uh, this is my father Jim.
Dad, this is my…
246
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,164
My friend Jen.
247
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,070
[Jen gasps]
248
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,238
Happy to meet you.
249
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,195
I'm so sorry for your loss, Jim.
250
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,286
Me too.
251
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:30,373
Your children
aren't supposed to go before you.
252
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,539
It's… not right.
253
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,760
No, it's not.
254
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,839
Ben, would you take my plate for me?
255
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,134
Sure, Dad. [chuckles]
256
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,684
He's a good boy.
257
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,469
Yeah, he is.
258
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,438
I'm so happy he finally met a nice girl.
259
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:53,059
Oh, no, no. I'm not, um--
260
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,273
No, we're just friends.
261
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,237
Friends are good too.
262
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,574
Oh, no. That is my butt.
That is my butthole.
263
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,873
Would you excuse me? I just--
264
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,829
I just need to, um,
get the fuck away from you.
265
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:12,119
[melancholy music plays]
266
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,251
Where the fuck is the bathroom?
267
00:13:30,267 --> 00:13:31,767
What the fuck?
268
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:36,152
What-- oh!
269
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,822
[grunts] No, no. Oh, no, no, no, no.
270
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,991
No, no, no, no, no.
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
271
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,490
[whimpers]
272
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,660
[whimpers]
273
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:47,620
[sighs] Okay…
274
00:13:48,702 --> 00:13:50,622
[sighs] Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.
275
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,294
-[inhales]
-[line ringing]
276
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,083
Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
277
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:55,632
[gasps]
278
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,089
-You've reached Ben. Leave a message.
-Oh, fuck.
279
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,009
Okay.
280
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,135
I'm in hell.
281
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,888
None of you move, please.
282
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:17,228
Oh, come on now.
You don't know Celia Cruz? [chuckles]
283
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,114
-The Queen of Salsa?
-I gotta get into that. I love salsa.
284
00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,112
Jesus, Mom.
We've been looking for you all over.
285
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,244
-Hi, Michelle.
-Judy, where were you?
286
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,531
Oh, we just took a stroll
on the boardwalk. She's fine.
287
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,115
You could have fucking told somebody.
288
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,580
You're right. Sorry.
Your hair looks longer. It's nice.
289
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,962
Thanks. I gave up.
290
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,539
What is this? What are you-- [sniffs]
291
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,214
Mom, are you drinking a margarita?
292
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,423
I was.
293
00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:41,552
She cannot mix alcohol
with her meds, Judy.
294
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,720
-She told me she wasn't taking any meds.
-She lied.
295
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,219
-Really?
-Great. Now she's wasted.
296
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,104
[Judy grunts]
297
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:53,182
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
298
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,017
I just wanted
to take her for some fresh air.
299
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,602
She's been in the hospital for so long.
300
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,727
Yeah, because she's immunocompromised.
301
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,774
She just had her second stroke, Judy.
302
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,398
What? I… [sighs] I had no idea.
303
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,405
I'm so sorry. I will--
It-- it won't happen again.
304
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:08,068
No, it won't.
305
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,660
Hey, Judy, wait.
306
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,749
Can you just tell me
if she had anything else to eat or drink?
307
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,547
Oh, um… [clicks tongue]
308
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,841
Just the one weak margarita. No salt.
309
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,345
And I did buy her one
very small cup of soft serve.
310
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,468
'Cause it's soft serve.
311
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,394
[sighs] She loves soft serve.
312
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,314
Who doesn't? Right?
313
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:37,522
She also asked
for a cherry on top, but I said no.
314
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,733
'Cause I know that
they never wash those cherries.
315
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:43,904
-Yeah, those cherries are toilet fruit.
-Oh, the grossest.
316
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,284
Don't they, like,
stay in your stomach for, like, 200 years?
317
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,033
I'm so sorry, Michelle.
318
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:52,906
I know you must think
I'm a horrible person
319
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,833
after everything that Perez--
I mean, uh, Ana, said.
320
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,833
I texted you a bunch.
I don't know if you got 'em.
321
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:00,827
I did.
322
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,707
Oh, okay. Okay.
323
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:05,838
Cool.
324
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,472
I really hope your mom is okay.
325
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,218
It was nice to see you.
326
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:23,897
Hey, she-- she's gonna be fine.
She had a really great time, by the way.
327
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:24,983
Really?
328
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,568
Yeah, I haven't seen her smile in forever.
It's almost kind of jarring.
329
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:31,115
I had never seen her teeth before.
330
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:33,118
-[laughs]
-They looked good! [chuckles]
331
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,540
-[Michelle chuckles]
-You look good.
332
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,792
Think it's just the teeth.
They run in the family.
333
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,292
The rest of me
is falling apart at the seams,
334
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,165
I think is the medical term.
335
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,752
[sighs] I know it can't be easy
with your mom.
336
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,263
It very literally keeps me up at night.
337
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:55,140
I never knew that I could be
this fucking stressed out about anything.
338
00:16:58,684 --> 00:16:59,894
If you're up for it,
339
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,896
I know somewhere
we can get a weak margarita.
340
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,151
Don't you have to work?
341
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,362
Oh, no, I just got fired.
342
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,066
-Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
-No.
343
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,743
-No. Don't be.
-I can go talk to them.
344
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,781
-That's not--
-Do not be sorry.
345
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,865
I actually, um…
346
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,076
I actually think it's for the best.
347
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:19,662
Especially if it means
that I get to have a drink with you.
348
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,838
Not a murderer, right?
349
00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:30,090
No! God, no. [chuckles]
350
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,094
I mean, sometimes my jokes kill.
351
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,508
I'll go get my jacket.
352
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,891
[Ben] Do you know what room you're in?
353
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,930
Um…
354
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,557
Yeah, it seems like some sort of, um,
355
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:46,194
Victorian nightmare space?
356
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,280
[inhales] Ah. Okay. I'm coming.
357
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:53,318
No.
358
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,742
No. Oh.
359
00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,204
[sighs] Okay, what…
360
00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:02,747
This is the twin doll room.
361
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:06,587
-Because my mother collects twin dolls.
-So there are two of them. Okay.
362
00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:09,088
I just-- because I really thought
I was, like, going… wah!
363
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,051
-[chuckles]
-No, no.
364
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,420
-[chuckles]
-And what… why…?
365
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,968
Excellent question.
It all started when we were young.
366
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,762
Steve and I always
had to have the same toy.
367
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:21,175
And then we grew out of dolls,
and my mom… didn't.
368
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,096
Okay.
369
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:23,845
Just curious.
370
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,226
Uh, do they actually come as--
as a twin set,
371
00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,734
or did she buy…
372
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,396
-No one actually knows.
-Oh, got it. Got it.
373
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,904
[whispers] Uh, and are… are--
374
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:36,407
Excuse me, are they supposed to blink?
375
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:40,164
Because I'm-- I'm pretty sure
a couple of them blinked.
376
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:41,794
[exhales] Yeah, I don't…
377
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,866
I don't know. Maybe.
378
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,134
Maybe.
379
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,288
[melancholy music plays]
380
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:51,842
How you doing?
381
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:53,509
Hmm?
382
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,393
I'm… [sighs]
383
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,057
I wouldn't say
I'm living my best life, you know.
384
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:04,310
That makes sense.
385
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:05,893
Yeah.
386
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,690
I've just been trying to…
[sniffles, clears throat]
387
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,323
…keep it all together for my parents,
you know?
388
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:15,531
But I'm not sure how much longer
I'm gonna be able to do that. [shudders]
389
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:20,159
Well, maybe you-- you need to let it out.
390
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:24,200
How do you do that?
391
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,288
[loud heavy metal music playing]
392
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:29,923
[indistinct death growl vocals playing]
393
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,302
-[Ben clears throat]
-What do you think?
394
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,215
Uh, they're talented.
395
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,219
-Uh…
-You hate it.
396
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,800
No, no, no. I ju-- I--
397
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,512
[exhales] Maybe I just don't get it?
Uh, what? Do you just--
398
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,677
Do you just kind of scream along with 'em?
399
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,563
Yeah, or just have them scream for you.
400
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,939
-Maybe you just need, like, a deeper cut.
-[music stops]
401
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:55,074
[Jen] Hmm. Let's see. Something good.
402
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:59,163
Yeah, you know, I-- I'm actually more
of a classic country kinda guy.
403
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,369
-Ugh.
-Oh.
404
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,406
-Really?
-[laughs]
405
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,163
Willie Nelson? Dolly Parton?
406
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,958
I-- I mean, sure…
407
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,424
Here.
408
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,500
[heavy metal music playing]
♪ Die, motherfucker ♪
409
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,046
[indistinct death growl vocals]
410
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,589
♪ Die, motherfucker
I will never be your slave ♪
411
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:20,513
♪ Die, motherfucker… ♪
[death growl vocals continue]
412
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:23,848
I used to listen to this a lot
after Ted died.
413
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,679
Why?
414
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:28,596
I don't know.
415
00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:33,107
It sounded like… like how I felt.
416
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,404
I wasI was angry.
417
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:40,744
Can I play you something?
418
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,280
[Michelle sighs] Okay.
419
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:45,787
Let's see what the future holds.
420
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,834
Oh, the death card. [sniffles]
421
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,877
-That's weird.
-I mean, it's not literal.
422
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,671
It's more like…
about a big life change, you know?
423
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,085
Yeah, yeah, no, no, I know.
424
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:01,223
It's just, uh, whew!
He looks a-- a little deathy.
425
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:05,351
[laughs] What, the, uh, skeleton
on horseback holding a scythe?
426
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,061
Not comforting?
427
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:08,770
-Not so much.
-[laughs]
428
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,271
-Okay…
-Ooh, that's a lot of knives.
429
00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:14,977
-Wow!
-And a noose.
430
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:15,935
Yeah, that's a noose.
431
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,614
-You got a lot of shit going on right now.
-Yeah.
432
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,994
Uh, that's an accurate deck.
433
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:23,951
-Do you wanna talk about it?
-No, I wanna drink about it.
434
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,695
Okay, let's drink about it.
435
00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:33,000
I think that card was meant for me anyway.
436
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,923
-The restaurant closed last week.
-What?
437
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:35,882
Yeah.
438
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,001
-No!
-Mm-hmm.
439
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:38,757
That place was so beautiful.
440
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,179
Thanks, but, you know,
it's like how they always say.
441
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,259
When one door closes,
442
00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:47,724
then God just flattens
the fuck out of your town.
443
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,216
-Oh.
-And you gotta move out west.
444
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:50,978
-Really? Is that what they say?
-[laughs]
445
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,309
No, I don't know, probably not.
446
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,814
-I'm really bad at remembering quotes.
-[laughing]
447
00:21:55,897 --> 00:22:00,487
Okay, well, since God
just fucking flattened your town,
448
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,279
what, uh, are you gonna do next?
449
00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:04,993
Well… [clicks tongue]
450
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:08,333
It's, um, it's early days, but…
451
00:22:09,619 --> 00:22:10,619
Um…
452
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,411
-What? What?
-[blubbers]
453
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,377
I don't know. I'm having trouble
saying this out loud. It's funny.
454
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,339
Um, okay.
455
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:23,380
There is an opportunity in Sonoma for me
456
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,597
to possibly open up my own restaurant.
457
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,598
What? Michelle!
458
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,390
-Judy!
-[gasps]
459
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:33,524
I know. It's a really great space,
and it's attached to an organic winery.
460
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:37,062
I love organic wine! I think.
I don't know if I've ever had it.
461
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,397
[both laugh]
462
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,692
I mean, nothing's signed yet,
but it feels good to say it.
463
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,907
It felt good to hear it. Ah!
464
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:49,413
So what about you?
465
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,501
[sighs, scoffs] What about me?
466
00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:56,826
Well, your life is… kind of wide open now.
467
00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:01,917
So, if you could do anything
that you wanted to do, what would you do?
468
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:09,684
[Michelle] Mm.
469
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:13,983
[moaning]
470
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,348
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
471
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:19,654
Do we know what we're doing?
472
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:22,942
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm not really in a place to like…
473
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,146
Oh, God. No, no, no, not me either.
474
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,492
[both] Okay.
475
00:23:32,619 --> 00:23:33,949
[laughing]
476
00:23:34,037 --> 00:23:36,667
["I Fall to Pieces"
by Patsy Cline playing]
477
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:39,578
So like, you just-- you just sit around
478
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:41,458
and just cry to this?
479
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:44,295
[laughing]
480
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,881
Are you kidding? Definitely yes.
481
00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:47,837
Oh.
482
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,426
[both chuckle]
483
00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:53,431
-No, it's not that I… always cry to it.
-Mm-hmm.
484
00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:54,595
Sometimes I…
485
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:57,690
-I sing along.
-Oh.
486
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,979
[music continues]
487
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:03,823
[sings along to song] ♪ I fall ♪
488
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:07,280
♪ To pieces ♪
489
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:14,656
♪ How can I be just your friend? ♪
490
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:20,207
♪ You want me to act ♪
491
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,172
♪ Like we never kissed ♪
492
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,463
[Ben stops singing]
493
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,966
[song continues]
♪ You want me to forget… ♪
494
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:30,468
Yeah, I can see why you… why you like it.
495
00:24:31,678 --> 00:24:32,678
Yeah.
496
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:37,183
♪ And I've tried and I've tried… ♪
497
00:24:37,267 --> 00:24:39,897
Uh, you know what, um,
498
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,686
what else would help when…
when Ted died was--
499
00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:46,653
is-- is getting up and-- and moving.
500
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,855
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
501
00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,985
I mean, any physical activity
502
00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:54,992
can just be a… a release, you know?
503
00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:57,083
In fact… [chuckles]
504
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:58,042
…one time,
505
00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:01,291
I smashed a car with a golf club.
506
00:25:01,374 --> 00:25:03,634
-That felt really good.
-[gasps]
507
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:05,551
Really?
508
00:25:05,629 --> 00:25:06,589
-Wow.
-Yeah.
509
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:07,671
I hope it was your car.
510
00:25:07,756 --> 00:25:09,966
Uh, no. No.
511
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:14,300
I thought it was the guy who hit Ted.
512
00:25:15,555 --> 00:25:16,765
It wasn't. [chuckles]
513
00:25:16,848 --> 00:25:19,138
But I mean,
I didn't know that at the time.
514
00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,273
Oh, got-- gotcha.
515
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,523
[Jen] Mm-hmm.
516
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:24,234
I know that's hard.
517
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:26,268
The not knowing.
518
00:25:27,776 --> 00:25:29,026
Yeah, I know you know.
519
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:30,861
Sorry.
520
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:35,661
[exhales sharply] No, I'm sorry.
521
00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:38,793
Why? You didn't hit him.
522
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,865
No, but I…
523
00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:46,131
I hit you.
524
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:49,301
What? Uh…
525
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:51,471
-I don't understand.
-[sighs]
526
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:55,929
-That's 'cause it doesn't make sense.
-Hmm?
527
00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:59,099
But… it was me.
528
00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:01,642
I was--
529
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,151
I was driving the car
530
00:26:04,813 --> 00:26:06,193
that hit you and Judy.
531
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:11,113
I-- I'd just gotten the call about Steve,
532
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:14,856
and I started drinking, and I--
533
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:17,782
I couldn't stop.
534
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:21,662
I got in my car, and I-- I took off.
535
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:24,001
And I didn't…
536
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:26,132
I didn't stop.
537
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:28,248
And I get it.
538
00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:31,258
You never wanna see me again.
539
00:26:31,965 --> 00:26:33,165
[inhales]
540
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,178
But I had to tell you.
541
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:41,020
♪ You want me to act
Like we've never kissed… ♪
542
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,555
[Jen moans]
543
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:49,654
I don't wanna jinx it, but I think
I might actually get some sleep tonight.
544
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:51,363
I'm so glad.
545
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:52,443
[Michelle chuckles]
546
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,448
You really are a happy-maker.
You know that?
547
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:57,736
You're a happy-maker.
548
00:26:58,533 --> 00:26:59,623
Seriously.
549
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:01,410
Thank you.
550
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,077
For what?
551
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,750
I didn't know how badly I needed tonight.
552
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,594
It's, like, weirdly cathartic.
553
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:15,966
Yeah.
554
00:27:18,678 --> 00:27:22,268
[soft melancholy music plays]
555
00:27:30,774 --> 00:27:31,864
I have cancer.
556
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:43,999
[scoffs]
557
00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:15,070
[whispers] I have cancer.
558
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,195
["I Fall to Pieces" continues playing]
559
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:23,619
-[Jen moaning softly]
-♪ You walk by and I fall to pieces ♪
560
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,036
[Ben whispers] Wow.
561
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:32,091
♪ You walk by and I fall to pieces… ♪
562
00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:34,298
-[Jen moans, gasps]
-[Ben shushes]
563
00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:40,299
[theme music playing]
564
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,398
[cat meows]