1 00:00:00,368 --> 00:00:01,334 (cow mooing) (crickets chirping) 2 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,144 (glass shattering) 3 00:00:03,144 --> 00:00:06,227 (dramatic whooshing) 4 00:00:13,585 --> 00:00:16,910 (birds chirping) 5 00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:18,476 - [Woman] You don't actually believe him, do you? 6 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:19,643 - [Man] Never. 7 00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:31,170 - Delaney, speaking as your professor, 8 00:00:31,170 --> 00:00:33,110 you're one of the brightest student 9 00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:35,223 I have ever had the pleasure of teaching. 10 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,470 But speaking as your advisor, 11 00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:44,010 your tendency to procrastinate really worry me. 12 00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:49,000 You have to defend your dissertation before the year is over 13 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,033 and you have a lot of more work to do. 14 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,718 Please, don't fuck this up. 15 00:00:54,718 --> 00:00:55,640 (Delaney sighs) 16 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,563 - I promise, Dr. Scherer, I won't fuck it up. 17 00:01:00,466 --> 00:01:01,299 - Okay. 18 00:01:01,299 --> 00:01:04,549 (light dramatic music) 19 00:03:06,868 --> 00:03:09,535 (Delaney sighs) 20 00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:15,674 - [Woman] Hey, how has that show gone tonight? 21 00:03:15,674 --> 00:03:18,507 (muffled talking) 22 00:03:20,365 --> 00:03:25,365 (car horn honking) (brakes squeaking) 23 00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:39,151 (light dramatic music) 24 00:03:55,072 --> 00:03:57,822 (pen scratching) 25 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,323 - Good evening. - Hi, there. 26 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:08,010 Kinda dead in here tonight, huh? 27 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,830 - It's not so unusual for a Sunday night. 28 00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:11,893 Not at this hour. 29 00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,490 What can I do for ya? 30 00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:16,880 - Well, I'm on the verge of finishing up 31 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,450 a big project. - Uh huh. 32 00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:21,030 - In a bit of a celebratory mood. 33 00:04:21,030 --> 00:04:24,120 So, if you could recommend a nice sparkling wine, 34 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,420 one that's nice and dry, not at all sweet, 35 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:27,620 if you know what I mean? 36 00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,380 - I know exactly what you mean. 37 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:30,650 - Good. 38 00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:33,270 Got anything that come close to that, I'll have it. 39 00:04:33,270 --> 00:04:34,103 - I have just the thing. 40 00:04:34,103 --> 00:04:35,470 Oh, would you like to start a tab? 41 00:04:35,470 --> 00:04:37,113 - Oh, yeah, absolutely. 42 00:05:00,962 --> 00:05:04,094 (static buzzing) 43 00:05:04,094 --> 00:05:06,344 (rumbling) 44 00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:31,040 - This, my friend, is the best damn Prosecco 45 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,603 you are ever gonna drink. 46 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:38,150 It's made from this Italian guy who uses the exact same 47 00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:42,880 varietal and the exact same wine making process 48 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,050 that his family has used since the 18th century. 49 00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:49,120 In other words, that's what Prosecco used to taste like 50 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,103 before they started adding sugar to it. 51 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,180 When you drink that, you're literally gonna be tasting 52 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,910 the same exact thing that people hundreds 53 00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:00,313 of years ago were tasting. 54 00:06:01,950 --> 00:06:04,580 Now, let me know what you think of that. 55 00:06:11,773 --> 00:06:13,490 - That is delicious. 56 00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:14,440 - Glad you like it. 57 00:06:15,973 --> 00:06:18,260 - You know, to be able to return to the past 58 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:19,310 is a wonderful thing. 59 00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:22,670 - Indeed. (Paul humming) 60 00:06:22,670 --> 00:06:25,170 (light music) 61 00:06:44,908 --> 00:06:47,575 (clears throat) 62 00:06:49,635 --> 00:06:52,635 (keyboard clicking) 63 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:04,110 (pages rustling) 64 00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:06,860 (pen scratching) 65 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:56,013 (light dramatic music) 66 00:07:58,290 --> 00:08:01,040 (static buzzing) 67 00:08:10,441 --> 00:08:12,173 - Pardon me, uh-- - Mm hm? 68 00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:14,630 - [Paul] Yeah, hey, would you mind if 69 00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:15,980 I joined you at your table? 70 00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:19,610 - Uh, why would you want to? 71 00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:23,870 - [Paul] Well, I couldn't help but notice 72 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,150 we're the only two people here, you know? 73 00:08:26,150 --> 00:08:28,940 So, I thought that maybe having 74 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:31,543 a little chat was our destiny. 75 00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:36,650 - You're kinda cute, but I'm sure you can see 76 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:37,500 that I'm working. 77 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,760 - I can see that. 78 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,810 I sure can. 79 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:43,260 As a matter of fact, I was working too. 80 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:44,950 - Hm? - Yeah. 81 00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:45,783 Who would have thought? 82 00:08:45,783 --> 00:08:48,458 I was just over there typing on my laptop and I looked up 83 00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:50,327 and I noticed that you were writing longhand, 84 00:08:50,327 --> 00:08:53,940 and I thought, maybe there's a connection here, you know? 85 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:58,130 We both like to write, we both like to go to bars alone 86 00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:01,340 on a Sunday night, (chuckling). 87 00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:02,290 So, so I thought at the very least 88 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:04,463 we could have a nice conversation, huh? 89 00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:08,133 What do you say, can I buy you a drink? 90 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,850 - I already have a drink. 91 00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:12,683 - Yeah. 92 00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:15,093 That's true. 93 00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:18,230 I'll buy the next round. 94 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,630 - Do people still say that? 95 00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:24,660 Can I buy you a drink? 96 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:25,670 Do they use that line? 97 00:09:25,670 --> 00:09:27,703 I mean, what is this, the 1970s? 98 00:09:27,703 --> 00:09:29,571 Are you gonna ask me what my sign is next? 99 00:09:29,571 --> 00:09:31,615 - No, no. 100 00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:32,948 It's not a line. 101 00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,333 Not coming from me. 102 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:37,390 Not coming from me, it's not a line. 103 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:38,490 - Oh, yeah? 104 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,270 Would you walk into a bar and approach a man who was 105 00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,373 a total stranger and offer to buy him a drink? 106 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,783 - Of course, yeah, definitely. 107 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,440 I mean, if I thought that he looked interesting. 108 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,570 - And you think I look interesting? 109 00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:01,860 - [Paul] I sure do, yeah. 110 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,910 - [Delaney] Mm hm. 111 00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:04,743 - Mm hm. 112 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:06,560 So what do you say? 113 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,590 Just one drink, a couple of harmless 114 00:10:09,590 --> 00:10:10,790 minutes of conversation. 115 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,420 - Okay. 116 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:26,240 Take a seat, but just for this one drink. 117 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,810 I'm not gonna let one turn to two and two turn to 3:00 a.m., 118 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:31,260 you know what I'm sayin'? 119 00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:34,050 - Oh yeah, I know, I know what you're sayin'. 120 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,750 Um, and I can assure you that the prospect of hooking up 121 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:40,620 with you is just the very last thing on my mind. 122 00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,453 - Really? 123 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,870 As long as there have been bars, 124 00:10:44,870 --> 00:10:47,050 there have been men approaching women in bars with 125 00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:49,330 the soul intention of trying to get in their pants. 126 00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:52,710 So, forgive me if I seem a little skeptical. 127 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:55,710 - [Paul] That's not just skeptical, that's cynical. 128 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:57,230 - Well, if I sound cynical that might just be 129 00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:59,590 because I have been approached by men like you, 130 00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:03,172 repeatedly over the course of my adult life. 131 00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,280 - [Paul] Hey, you shouldn't judge all men based 132 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,077 on our worst specimens, you know? 133 00:11:08,690 --> 00:11:09,773 - Not all men, huh? 134 00:11:10,773 --> 00:11:13,160 Hm, okay, I see. 135 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,140 So, if you're not hoping to get in my pants, 136 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,280 then what are you hoping to accomplish 137 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,880 in our very brief time together? 138 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,560 - Well, I thought that we could just learn a little bit 139 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,323 about each other and then maybe if we're lucky, 140 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,010 if we're lucky, (Delaney laughing) 141 00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:34,700 I'll realize that you are someone worth getting to know. 142 00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,670 - Mm hm. - And then maybe you 143 00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:39,118 realize that I'm someone worth getting to know. 144 00:11:39,118 --> 00:11:39,951 - Mm hm. - And then maybe after 145 00:11:39,951 --> 00:11:41,990 our brief time together we'll realize that 146 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,050 we wanna get to know each other better, huh? 147 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:50,030 So then, who knows, in a couple days maybe we could 148 00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:53,820 get together again for a proper date, 149 00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:56,333 a meal and some more conversation. 150 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,200 - So, what you're saying is you wanna try 151 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:02,926 to get in my pants in a few days. 152 00:12:02,926 --> 00:12:06,420 - Oh, no, that's not what I'm saying. 153 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,790 I don't wanna sleep with you, okay? 154 00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,230 As a matter of fact, I wouldn't sleep with you tonight 155 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,480 even if you begged me to. 156 00:12:12,370 --> 00:12:13,740 - Yeah, right. 157 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,260 - I'm being serious. 158 00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,720 I'm, I'm serious. 159 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,783 Just try begging me and see what I have to say in response. 160 00:12:22,031 --> 00:12:22,980 (Delaney sighs) 161 00:12:22,980 --> 00:12:23,813 - No. 162 00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:26,900 - Hey, I'm trying to prove a point 163 00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:28,570 about my integrity here, okay? 164 00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:31,510 So, just try it and see what happens, okay? 165 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:32,563 - Okay. - Okay. 166 00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:36,393 - Will you please come home and sleep with me? 167 00:12:36,393 --> 00:12:38,733 - [Paul] That did not sound like begging to me. 168 00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:42,603 - Okay, I beg you to come home with me and sleep with me. 169 00:12:42,603 --> 00:12:44,623 Will you please do it? 170 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:49,087 - Yeah, yeah, sure. 171 00:12:49,087 --> 00:12:50,823 If you insist, all right, definitely. 172 00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,720 (Paul chuckling) 173 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,150 - Should I start laughing now or should 174 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,120 I wait till it gets funny? 175 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,360 - [Paul] I mean, okay. 176 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,440 It's just a little joke. 177 00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,640 - Mm hm. - All right? 178 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,010 It was funny though. 179 00:13:01,010 --> 00:13:04,403 In all seriousness, let's get to know each other. 180 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:07,100 - Okay. - What are you working on? 181 00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,690 - I'm working on my dissertation. 182 00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:10,830 - [Paul] No way, in longhand, that's awesome. 183 00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:12,760 - Yeah, I do all my rough drafts in longhand. 184 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,610 I don't switch to the computer till 185 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:16,330 it's time to start rewriting. 186 00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,780 - I used to be like that. - Hm? 187 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:20,283 - I sure did and then I met someone. 188 00:13:21,413 --> 00:13:23,010 A very special person who convinced me 189 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:26,740 to keep up with times, if you know what I mean? 190 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,453 - Yeah, yeah, I know. 191 00:13:29,727 --> 00:13:30,840 - [Paul] Where do you go to school? 192 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,030 - U of C. 193 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,393 - [Paul] Oh wow, that's like Ivy League of the Midwest, huh? 194 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,293 - That's what they say. - Yeah. 195 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,140 Are you gonna make everybody call 196 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:43,040 you a doctor when you get your PhD? 197 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,630 - Fuck yeah I am. 198 00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:46,850 I haven't gone through 10 years of college and taken out 199 00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,763 tens of thousands of dollars in student loans for nothing. 200 00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:51,723 - Hm. 201 00:13:54,470 --> 00:13:56,280 What's the topic of your dissertation? 202 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:00,780 - Um, 19th century Russian literature. 203 00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:01,680 - No. 204 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:02,513 No way. 205 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,910 Are you seriously? 206 00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:09,333 This is uh, I love 19th century Russian literature. 207 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,550 - Really? - Yeah. 208 00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:16,210 I'm crazy about Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy, obviously. 209 00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:17,130 - Obviously. 210 00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:20,120 - [Paul] But I also really love Gogol. 211 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,113 - Gogol? - Mm hm. 212 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,920 - Okay, well, now I have to admit I am impressed. 213 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,390 - I think that Dead Souls is the funniest fuckin' 214 00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:28,390 book I've ever read. 215 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:30,453 - [Delaney] Is that right? 216 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:32,967 - Yeah, it really appeals to my sense of the absurd. 217 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:35,360 - [Delaney] Were you a lit major too? 218 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,853 - No, uh, no. 219 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:41,633 More or less self educated, but I am a writer. 220 00:14:43,070 --> 00:14:44,307 - Of course you are. - Yeah. 221 00:14:44,307 --> 00:14:46,010 And I take a whole lot of inspiration 222 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,710 from these 19th century dudes. 223 00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,590 I'm all about studying the masters. 224 00:14:49,590 --> 00:14:52,300 - That's a wise policy. - Yeah. 225 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,940 But you know, the thing that I like 226 00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:58,033 the most about 19th century Russian literature? 227 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:00,400 - Please tell me. 228 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,843 - Just the scope of it, you know? 229 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:09,720 All those novels are just so big and epic and objective 230 00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,480 and third person, but then you read a book 231 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,830 like The Brothers Karamazov, you know? 232 00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:19,360 And you really feel like you get a sense of the society 233 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,913 that these characters lived in, from top to bottom. 234 00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:25,120 And fiction writing today is just the opposite. 235 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,970 It's all first person and small scale and focused on 236 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:33,953 the subjective experiences of the individual and what not. 237 00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,833 - And let me guess, you wanna write the kind of novels 238 00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:41,590 that would bring this 19th century Russian perspective 239 00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,030 back into style? 240 00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:45,510 - Well, maybe not that perspective exactly, 241 00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:48,080 but something similar. 242 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,400 Something that takes into account the fact 243 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,300 that we're all living on the internet. 244 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:57,720 - It's funny, I feel like I have to leave my house these 245 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,370 days if I wanna get any work done or get any privacy. 246 00:16:01,730 --> 00:16:02,580 Isn't that crazy? 247 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,860 I actually leave my phone at home and come to bars 248 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:09,040 like this one just so I can write. 249 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,260 - [Paul] Yeah, it used to just be the opposite. 250 00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:12,093 - Exactly. 251 00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:17,420 You know, it's funny you should 252 00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:19,133 mention The Brothers Karamazov. 253 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,910 That's what my dissertation's about. 254 00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:25,030 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 255 00:16:25,030 --> 00:16:25,880 - How about that. 256 00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:30,160 - It's specifically about the concept of moral legacy, 257 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:35,160 you know, the idea that like, an entire system of moral 258 00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:38,530 essence can be passed down from one person to another. 259 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:41,570 So, I'm examining the various ways that characters 260 00:16:41,570 --> 00:16:42,620 do that in the novel. 261 00:16:46,770 --> 00:16:48,380 You know what I'm saying, right? 262 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:49,593 - Oh yeah, yeah. 263 00:16:50,570 --> 00:16:51,920 Yes. 264 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:53,120 Yeah. 265 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,610 Uh, it's actually my favorite Dostoyevsky novel, 266 00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:57,690 if you can believe it. 267 00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:59,430 It's just, I read it back in high school. 268 00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:02,623 So, I don't really remember the specifics all that well. 269 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,770 - You haven't read it, have you? 270 00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:08,520 - No, I have, I have. 271 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,800 I certainly have, it's just it's been like 10 years. 272 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,708 - [Delaney] You know what I think? 273 00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:13,541 - What? 274 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:16,970 - I think you are a bullshit artist 275 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:20,700 and a wannabe ladies man, but the sensitive, liberal kind. 276 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,280 That kind that likes to call himself a feminist 277 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,130 'cause he thinks it'll help him get laid. 278 00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:27,330 I think that the minute you came over to this table, 279 00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:28,163 you were gonna tell me whatever 280 00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:29,660 you thought I wanted to hear. 281 00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:32,203 Like, if I said I was veterinarian, for instance, 282 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,110 I bet you would have become the world's biggest animal lover 283 00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:36,510 right here on the spot, am I right? 284 00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:37,660 - I am the world's biggest animal lover-- 285 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:40,270 - You would have told me whatever you thought 286 00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,010 I wanted to hear so that you could get my phone number 287 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:44,260 before we parted ways tonight. 288 00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:46,723 Am I right? 289 00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:49,610 - You're not right. 290 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,343 In fact, you're wrong. 291 00:17:52,828 --> 00:17:53,661 - Hm. - Hm. 292 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,333 - Okay. 293 00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:59,520 Then I propose we play a little game. 294 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:04,381 It's called strip literary trivia. 295 00:18:04,381 --> 00:18:06,073 - Strip. 296 00:18:06,073 --> 00:18:09,340 Strip, strip literary trivia? 297 00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:10,173 - [Delaney] Yeah. 298 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,006 You ever play a strip poker? 299 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:15,963 - Oh, yeah, I mean once like uh, it was a long time ago. 300 00:18:17,457 --> 00:18:18,920 With my babysitter. 301 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,760 - [Delaney] Your babysitter? 302 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,173 - It was totally innocent. 303 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,500 I was nine, she was 16 and we both put on like 304 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,250 a ton of extra clothes before, you know? 305 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:34,250 Like scarves and hats and two extra pair of socks each. 306 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,150 So, even though we played poker for like two hours, 307 00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:38,650 neither one of us even got close to gettin' naked. 308 00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:41,463 It was totally innocent. 309 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:46,233 - Wow, she sounds like the world's worst babysitter. 310 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,630 Anyway, the game I'm proposing we play 311 00:18:49,630 --> 00:18:54,630 is kinda like strip poker, except instead of playing cards, 312 00:18:56,070 --> 00:18:58,183 I want you to try to name all the Brothers Karamazov. 313 00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:01,970 For every brother you name correctly, 314 00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:04,033 I will remove one article of clothing. 315 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,550 For every brother you name incorrectly, 316 00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:10,183 you will remove an article of clothing. 317 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,330 - I just, I don't know, you know? 318 00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:16,530 It's like I said, it's been a long time and so-- 319 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,430 - What's the matter, you scared? 320 00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:23,120 - Scared, no, no, no. 321 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,700 No, not scared, no. 322 00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:29,200 But, this is a public place, you know? 323 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,940 - The owner is behind the bar. 324 00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:33,070 He's the only one working tonight. 325 00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,810 He's not gonna leave that bar unmanned and come over here. 326 00:19:35,810 --> 00:19:36,643 - Yeah. 327 00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:43,080 (bartender sighs) 328 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,630 What if somebody else comes in? 329 00:19:46,870 --> 00:19:48,310 - That's just a chance you have to take. 330 00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:49,358 (Paul groaning) 331 00:19:49,358 --> 00:19:51,350 - Gee, I don't, I don't know. 332 00:19:51,350 --> 00:19:52,630 You know, that's, I don't, that's. 333 00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:54,070 - Oh, my God. 334 00:19:54,070 --> 00:19:57,070 You said it was your favorite Dostoyevsky novel. 335 00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,590 If you can't name all the Brothers Karamazov, 336 00:19:58,590 --> 00:20:02,523 then are admitting to me that you are a total fucking poser. 337 00:20:07,753 --> 00:20:09,510 - Okay, do you take off your shoes 338 00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:11,730 one at a time in strip literary trivia? 339 00:20:11,730 --> 00:20:14,030 Or do they count as a single unit of clothing? 340 00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:15,700 - [Delaney] Jesus Christ, do you buy your shoes one 341 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,430 at a time or do you buy them together? 342 00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:19,080 - Ah, I see. - Shoes count as a single 343 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,453 unit of clothing, goofball. 344 00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,880 - Do your glasses count as a unit of clothing? 345 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:24,713 - No. 346 00:20:25,654 --> 00:20:29,070 If you play your cards right, I'll be sitting in front 347 00:20:29,070 --> 00:20:32,380 of you in just a few minutes time, completely naked. 348 00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:33,713 Except for these glasses. 349 00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,830 - Okay, I'll play. 350 00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,893 - Okay, name a Brother Karamazov. 351 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,910 - [Paul] Wait, what's your name? 352 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,523 - I'm Delaney. - Delaney? 353 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,590 - Yeah, it's my mother's maiden name. 354 00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,230 - Oh, that is the best. 355 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:52,110 That is just the coolest thing ever. 356 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:55,163 I love it when last names become first names, you know? 357 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:56,873 I'm Paul. 358 00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:03,363 - Okay, Paul, name a Karamazov brother. 359 00:21:04,770 --> 00:21:06,643 - Okay, okay. 360 00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:12,707 The first name that springs to mind is Alyosha, huh? 361 00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:16,930 He's the hero of this motherfuckin' book 362 00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,780 and I've never forgotten it. 363 00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:20,130 - All right. 364 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:24,253 For that correct answer, I will remove my shoes. 365 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,300 Now, name another brother. 366 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:40,720 - All right, the second name that springs to mind is uh, 367 00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:45,807 you know, I just, I can't, I can't remember. 368 00:21:45,807 --> 00:21:47,307 - [Delaney] There's a 30 second time limit. 369 00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:49,267 - Huh, come, what? 370 00:21:49,267 --> 00:21:50,717 You can't just make up rules as we're going along. 371 00:21:50,717 --> 00:21:52,720 - [Delaney] Those are the official rules. 372 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:53,553 - Yeah, okay. 373 00:21:53,553 --> 00:21:55,050 - [Delaney] You now have 20 seconds. 374 00:21:55,050 --> 00:21:55,883 - Shit. 375 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:01,093 Okay, um, is there a brother named Andre? 376 00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:03,290 - [Delaney] Wrong. 377 00:22:03,290 --> 00:22:04,890 Take off an article of clothing. 378 00:22:06,050 --> 00:22:08,940 - All right, I'm gonna take off my shoes. 379 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:09,773 - Hm. 380 00:22:13,620 --> 00:22:15,160 Okay, name another brother. 381 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,310 You have 30 seconds. - Fuck, okay. 382 00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:19,690 Huh. 383 00:22:19,690 --> 00:22:21,510 All right, what are some Russian names? 384 00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:23,870 Just, any, Putin, is that it? 385 00:22:23,870 --> 00:22:25,651 That's yeah, Vladimir, sure. 386 00:22:25,651 --> 00:22:27,223 (Delaney giggling) Vladimir? 387 00:22:28,370 --> 00:22:30,413 - No, take off an article of clothing. 388 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:36,040 - I'm gonna take off my socks. 389 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:38,960 They don't smell bad. - Mm hm. 390 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,237 - I promise. 391 00:22:40,237 --> 00:22:41,753 - Okay. - Okay. 392 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:48,903 - Stylish socks, Paul. 393 00:22:50,230 --> 00:22:51,280 Name another brother. 394 00:22:52,810 --> 00:22:57,810 - Okay, all right, if memory serves, I believe that there 395 00:22:58,090 --> 00:23:01,293 may have been some self reflexivity on Dostoyevsky's part. 396 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,600 And he very well may could have named 397 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,050 one of those brothers Fyodor. 398 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:10,093 - Wrong. 399 00:23:10,093 --> 00:23:11,580 (chuckling) 400 00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:12,480 - Goddammit, shit. 401 00:23:13,617 --> 00:23:16,600 - Fyodor was the name of the father of the Karamazov clan. 402 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,760 - The dad, shit. - Mm hm. 403 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,360 Take off an article of clothing. 404 00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:23,323 - All right. 405 00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:26,540 So, Fyodor was the dad, huh? 406 00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:29,210 - Twist. - Yeah, that's right. 407 00:23:29,210 --> 00:23:30,773 Yeah, of course, the dad. 408 00:23:31,805 --> 00:23:32,638 Dad. 409 00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,200 - All right. - All right. 410 00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:46,993 - Name another brother if you can. 411 00:23:50,610 --> 00:23:51,783 - Okay, I'm gonna take my time. 412 00:23:51,783 --> 00:23:53,250 I'm gonna take my time with this one. 413 00:23:53,250 --> 00:23:54,083 - [Delaney] Okay. 414 00:23:55,370 --> 00:23:56,220 - Taking my time. 415 00:24:05,258 --> 00:24:06,703 - You have 15 seconds. (Paul hushes) 416 00:24:06,703 --> 00:24:09,427 - Hold on, is it Hassad, Richard? 417 00:24:09,427 --> 00:24:11,307 No, it's not Richard. - Five seconds. 418 00:24:11,307 --> 00:24:14,490 - Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. 419 00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:15,323 Ivan. 420 00:24:17,290 --> 00:24:20,993 Ivan. - You are correct. 421 00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:27,030 - I knew that. 422 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:27,863 I knew it. 423 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,780 You thought that I didn't know, but I certainly did. 424 00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:33,750 Don't fuck with me. - All right, oh, okay. 425 00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:34,610 Okay, Paul, let's just cool it 426 00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:35,986 with the testosterone a little bit. 427 00:24:35,986 --> 00:24:37,740 - Okay. - Okay? 428 00:24:37,740 --> 00:24:39,070 - Okay, sure, yeah. - Okay? 429 00:24:39,070 --> 00:24:39,980 - Sorry. 430 00:24:39,980 --> 00:24:44,037 - Especially because I'm about to remove my blouse. 431 00:24:47,412 --> 00:24:50,662 (light dramatic music) 432 00:25:03,592 --> 00:25:05,110 - Ah, okay. 433 00:25:05,110 --> 00:25:08,350 Well, you know, Delaney, I just, I have so much respect for 434 00:25:08,350 --> 00:25:11,200 you that I'm just, I'm really having a hard time looking. 435 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,670 I'm just trying to look everywhere except 436 00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:17,060 at your breasts right now. 437 00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:18,053 - It's okay, Paul. 438 00:25:19,510 --> 00:25:21,060 You can look wherever you want. 439 00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:24,380 The whole point of this game is to look. 440 00:25:26,595 --> 00:25:28,678 - Just look, it's a game. 441 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:30,494 Hm. 442 00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:32,570 That's a nice bra. 443 00:25:33,430 --> 00:25:34,760 - [Delaney] Really? 444 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,570 What do you like about it? 445 00:25:36,570 --> 00:25:41,083 - Well, it's uh, it's just, it's surprising to me. 446 00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:43,423 - [Delaney] How so? 447 00:25:43,423 --> 00:25:47,373 - I just, I didn't expect, I didn't expect it to be so sexy. 448 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:50,313 You know, considering the rest 449 00:25:50,313 --> 00:25:53,503 of your attire is so conservative. 450 00:25:54,670 --> 00:25:55,920 - I have no clue what you're talking about. 451 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,900 - Well, you just had this like sexy librarian thing 452 00:25:57,900 --> 00:25:58,733 going on and it's-- 453 00:25:58,733 --> 00:25:59,566 - Okay, let's get back to the game, Paul. 454 00:25:59,566 --> 00:26:00,700 - Okay, sure. - Okay, name another brother. 455 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:01,910 You have 30 seconds. 456 00:26:01,910 --> 00:26:03,430 - Whoa, I, okay, hold on. 457 00:26:03,430 --> 00:26:06,163 I just, I can't um, I can't think about anything-- 458 00:26:06,163 --> 00:26:06,996 - You have 20 seconds. 459 00:26:06,996 --> 00:26:08,840 - All right, just put your shirt back on. 460 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:09,673 That'd be great. 461 00:26:09,673 --> 00:26:11,530 Just take a timeout, put the shirt back on, 462 00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:12,363 time back in, it'll come to me. 463 00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:13,480 - You have 10 seconds. 464 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:14,990 - Well, I mean, is it Bob? 465 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:16,400 Is Bob? 466 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,683 - Bob Karamazov? 467 00:26:19,284 --> 00:26:20,203 Short for Robert? 468 00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,073 - Bobby, maybe? 469 00:26:25,630 --> 00:26:28,993 - No, take off an article of clothing. 470 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,200 I guess my pants are coming off. 471 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,660 Okay. 472 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:37,843 See if I can do this without standing up. 473 00:26:38,904 --> 00:26:40,766 (belt clinking) 474 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:41,599 (zipper buzzing) 475 00:26:41,599 --> 00:26:43,200 Just give me a second. 476 00:26:44,412 --> 00:26:47,162 (chair creaking) 477 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:52,793 Tight, they're tight around my calf. 478 00:27:00,624 --> 00:27:02,304 You good, you good? 479 00:27:02,304 --> 00:27:04,054 - You're doing great. 480 00:27:16,270 --> 00:27:17,880 All right. 481 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,353 It's do or die time, Paul. 482 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:21,780 Name another brother. 483 00:27:21,780 --> 00:27:22,843 - This is crazy. 484 00:27:24,350 --> 00:27:25,183 - Hm? - Yeah. 485 00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:26,733 - You have 20 seconds. 486 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,270 - You know, this is a lot like the story of the guy 487 00:27:31,270 --> 00:27:33,570 who buys the magic carpet, but he's told that it'll 488 00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:36,400 only fly if he doesn't think of an ass. 489 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,530 So, of course, all he can do is think of an ass. 490 00:27:38,530 --> 00:27:39,780 - [Delaney] You have 10 seconds. 491 00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:41,240 - That's right, yeah, well, 492 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,590 it's not gonna fly 'cause thinking of that ass. 493 00:27:44,570 --> 00:27:45,403 - Time's up. 494 00:27:46,740 --> 00:27:48,470 What's your final answer? 495 00:27:48,470 --> 00:27:52,033 - My final answer is that I'm an ass. 496 00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:55,943 - [Delaney] Take off an article of clothing. 497 00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:01,290 - All I have left is my underwear. 498 00:28:01,290 --> 00:28:04,343 - Take it off and put it on the table. 499 00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:07,670 - Are you serious? 500 00:28:08,590 --> 00:28:10,340 - I'm as serious as a heart attack. 501 00:28:11,550 --> 00:28:12,400 Now, take it off. 502 00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:21,300 - Just for the record, this was a lot more fun 503 00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:23,454 when I played with the babysitter. 504 00:28:23,454 --> 00:28:26,704 (light dramatic music) 505 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:50,470 - What the hell? 506 00:28:52,121 --> 00:28:54,733 - The other Karamazov brothers are Dmitri and Pavel. 507 00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:56,413 Have a good night. 508 00:28:56,413 --> 00:28:57,800 Thank you so much, bye. 509 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:00,520 - Delaney, hey wait a second there. 510 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,370 Delaney, hey come on. 511 00:29:01,370 --> 00:29:02,347 We're just playing a game, man, okay? 512 00:29:02,347 --> 00:29:04,010 This is just a game. 513 00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:05,640 Delaney'll tell you, Delaney. 514 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,650 Uh, I almost guessed Dmitri too, if you can believe it. 515 00:29:09,650 --> 00:29:12,450 So, uh, yeah. 516 00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:14,010 I guess I'm ready to close my tab. 517 00:29:14,010 --> 00:29:15,760 - Uh, she didn't pay her tab. 518 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,810 Are you gonna pick up her drinks as well? 519 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,500 - Yes, yeah, yeah, I'd be happy to. 520 00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:24,440 - Okay, I'll go get your bill. 521 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,870 - All right. - And do me a favor 522 00:29:25,870 --> 00:29:28,300 and put your damn clothes back on. 523 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:29,133 - Sure. 524 00:29:32,380 --> 00:29:34,443 I guess I'm gonna have to pay. 525 00:29:47,843 --> 00:29:50,093 (groaning) 526 00:29:57,317 --> 00:29:58,851 (muffled talking) 527 00:29:58,851 --> 00:30:01,601 (static buzzing) 528 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,860 (light music) 529 00:30:10,273 --> 00:30:13,023 (birds chirping) 530 00:30:55,060 --> 00:30:57,110 (door creaking) 531 00:30:57,110 --> 00:30:59,777 (keys jingling) 532 00:31:01,230 --> 00:31:02,993 - [Andy] Hurry up, slowpoke. 533 00:31:02,993 --> 00:31:04,403 - I'm hurrying. 534 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,081 - Hey, hey. - Huh? 535 00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:15,605 (chuckling) 536 00:31:15,605 --> 00:31:16,438 - Oh, my God. - Watch it. 537 00:31:16,438 --> 00:31:19,773 - Sorry, sorry. (Rob laughing) 538 00:31:21,885 --> 00:31:24,718 (muffled talking) 539 00:31:27,050 --> 00:31:28,490 - Beautiful day, huh? 540 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:30,433 - Gorgeous. 541 00:31:31,730 --> 00:31:33,869 Absolutely gorgeous. 542 00:31:33,869 --> 00:31:34,828 (Rob gasping) 543 00:31:34,828 --> 00:31:36,870 - And here's the first one. 544 00:31:36,870 --> 00:31:38,260 - First one what? 545 00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:39,560 - Dog. 546 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,900 - Oh, yeah. 547 00:31:40,900 --> 00:31:44,410 There's so many in this damn neighborhood, it's like 548 00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:45,310 a requirement if you-- - Come on, Storm nugget. 549 00:31:45,310 --> 00:31:47,250 - Wanna live here something. - Let's go. 550 00:31:47,250 --> 00:31:50,847 - We don't have one, yet. 551 00:31:50,847 --> 00:31:51,680 - Yet? 552 00:31:53,410 --> 00:31:57,740 Oh, that's that dog whose name I can never remember. 553 00:31:57,740 --> 00:32:00,360 - I think it's something like Snake Eyes. 554 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:01,560 - It's not Snake Eyes. 555 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,710 - I know it's not, but it's something like that. 556 00:32:04,710 --> 00:32:07,305 Hi there, little guy. 557 00:32:07,305 --> 00:32:08,786 - [Sydney] Hey, guys. 558 00:32:08,786 --> 00:32:09,635 (chuckling) 559 00:32:09,635 --> 00:32:10,468 - Hi. 560 00:32:10,468 --> 00:32:12,200 - Hey. - Hey. 561 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:13,390 - What's his name again? 562 00:32:13,390 --> 00:32:14,580 - He's Storm, I'm Sydney. 563 00:32:14,580 --> 00:32:16,530 - Storm, that's right. - Yeah. 564 00:32:16,530 --> 00:32:17,690 - Hi there, Storm. 565 00:32:17,690 --> 00:32:19,710 How are you? 566 00:32:19,710 --> 00:32:21,930 Oh, you're a good little guy, aren't you? 567 00:32:21,930 --> 00:32:23,000 Yes, you are. 568 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,660 - Well, he's not always good. 569 00:32:24,660 --> 00:32:27,800 Believe me, he can get into some serious mischief. 570 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,120 - [Rob] Where have you been? 571 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,990 Have you been to the lake? 572 00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:34,250 - Yeah, he was frolicking in the sand all morning. 573 00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:35,892 Now, he is worn out. 574 00:32:35,892 --> 00:32:36,890 - [Rob] Oh. 575 00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:38,190 - That's what we're about to do. 576 00:32:38,190 --> 00:32:39,430 - You're gonna frolic in the sand? 577 00:32:39,430 --> 00:32:40,883 - Yes, absolutely. 578 00:32:40,883 --> 00:32:42,930 (chuckling) - How old is he? 579 00:32:42,930 --> 00:32:44,240 - He just turned two. 580 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,890 - Oh, he's still a puppy, huh? 581 00:32:45,890 --> 00:32:46,890 - [Sydney] Uh, not quite. 582 00:32:46,890 --> 00:32:49,680 I mean, he quit growing about six months ago. 583 00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,810 - He doesn't know anything about dogs. 584 00:32:51,810 --> 00:32:52,643 - Yeah, I do. 585 00:32:52,643 --> 00:32:54,280 I had a dog when I was a kid. 586 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,113 - You did? 587 00:32:55,113 --> 00:32:58,940 - Yeah, just because I didn't have 500 of 'em like you, 588 00:32:58,940 --> 00:33:01,010 doesn't mean I'm not a dog person. 589 00:33:01,010 --> 00:33:03,470 - Trust me, he's a cat person. 590 00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:05,250 - Well, maybe he can be both? 591 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,300 - Both? 592 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:07,800 There's no such thing. 593 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,590 It's like with The Beatles and The Stones, you know? 594 00:33:09,590 --> 00:33:11,140 Everyone has a preference. 595 00:33:11,140 --> 00:33:13,140 - Hey, I like both The Beatles and The Stones. 596 00:33:13,140 --> 00:33:14,040 - Hm. - Yeah, but I bet 597 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,750 you like one more. 598 00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:17,750 - That's true, I do prefer The Beatles. 599 00:33:17,750 --> 00:33:19,510 - And he prefers cats. 600 00:33:19,510 --> 00:33:22,970 - Okay, Rob, say goodbye to Storm. 601 00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:25,340 - Oh, goodbye, Storm. 602 00:33:25,340 --> 00:33:26,173 - Bye, guys. 603 00:33:26,173 --> 00:33:27,169 - Bye. - Bye. 604 00:33:27,169 --> 00:33:28,002 - [Sydney] Come on. 605 00:33:28,002 --> 00:33:29,220 - See ya. (Rob giggling) 606 00:33:29,220 --> 00:33:31,887 (Andy laughing) 607 00:33:34,020 --> 00:33:35,590 - Have you ever noticed that pet owners 608 00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:37,973 often look exactly like their pets? 609 00:33:38,930 --> 00:33:42,023 - [Andy] I don't know, I've never really thought about it. 610 00:33:43,670 --> 00:33:46,180 I guess I have noticed that rich people 611 00:33:46,180 --> 00:33:48,093 seem to like Golden Retrievers. 612 00:33:48,093 --> 00:33:50,010 (both laughing) 613 00:33:50,010 --> 00:33:51,980 - I think it's because people tend to pick pets 614 00:33:51,980 --> 00:33:54,040 that they feel some kind of deep connection 615 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,140 to when they first look at them. 616 00:33:55,140 --> 00:33:58,000 It's like they're seeing themselves or something. 617 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,943 - You think that woman looked like her dog? 618 00:34:02,210 --> 00:34:05,203 According to that logic, shouldn't she be black? 619 00:34:06,272 --> 00:34:09,143 - Well, she does always wear black clothing. 620 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:10,853 - That's true. 621 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:16,937 And hey, what's this business about we don't have a dog yet? 622 00:34:18,050 --> 00:34:21,010 - Oh, well, I just thought that maybe you wouldn't mind 623 00:34:21,010 --> 00:34:23,360 having one in the not too distance future. 624 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,160 Especially since you had one growing up and you are 625 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,030 apparently both a cat person and a dog person. 626 00:34:29,030 --> 00:34:32,750 - We had a dog from the time I was five until I was 10. 627 00:34:32,750 --> 00:34:36,573 She was a Cocker Spaniel and her name was Fancy. 628 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,740 - Well, now, I have to admit. 629 00:34:39,740 --> 00:34:42,270 That is a fabulous name. 630 00:34:42,270 --> 00:34:43,720 - Thank you. - Mm hm. 631 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:44,553 - I named her. (Rob gasping) 632 00:34:44,553 --> 00:34:45,386 Uh huh. 633 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,930 - What happened to her? 634 00:34:47,930 --> 00:34:49,000 - She got hit by a car. 635 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,380 - Oh, that's so sad. 636 00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:55,060 - Yeah, so, we didn't get a dog after that, 637 00:34:55,060 --> 00:34:57,030 and my parents are primarily cat people. 638 00:34:57,030 --> 00:34:58,743 So, we had cats growing up. 639 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:03,220 But, let me tell you something. 640 00:35:03,220 --> 00:35:07,910 I think that cats and dogs can peacefully coexist. 641 00:35:09,180 --> 00:35:10,340 - Is that right? 642 00:35:10,340 --> 00:35:11,450 - Yeah. 643 00:35:11,450 --> 00:35:14,490 You know, in fact, I hate the phrase fighting like cats 644 00:35:14,490 --> 00:35:18,930 and dogs because cats and dogs aren't mortal enemies. 645 00:35:18,930 --> 00:35:21,120 If you raise them right, they'll get along just fine. 646 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,750 Fancy got along just fine with three cats. 647 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:27,003 - So, you believe in nurture over nature? 648 00:35:28,570 --> 00:35:29,433 - I guess I do. 649 00:35:30,530 --> 00:35:32,353 Or maybe I'm just an optimist. 650 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,118 - You are an optimist, I love that about you. 651 00:35:35,118 --> 00:35:36,890 (Andy laughing) 652 00:35:36,890 --> 00:35:38,760 But, maybe we should have talked about whether we wanted 653 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,620 to have cats or dogs as pets before we moved in together. 654 00:35:41,620 --> 00:35:45,200 - [Andy] Hey, maybe we should have waited longer 655 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,290 than three months before we moved in with each other. 656 00:35:48,290 --> 00:35:50,487 - [Rob] Hey, when you know, you know. 657 00:35:50,487 --> 00:35:55,487 - I guess. (light music) 658 00:36:00,854 --> 00:36:03,604 (train whirring) 659 00:36:11,213 --> 00:36:13,200 - Ooh, here comes another one. 660 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,493 (Rob gasping) - Oh, boy. 661 00:36:15,590 --> 00:36:16,423 - I have never-- - Come on. 662 00:36:16,423 --> 00:36:20,060 - [Rob] Seen this dog before, have you? 663 00:36:20,060 --> 00:36:21,823 - [Andy] No, I don't think so. 664 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,819 - Oh, it's a Shih Tzu. 665 00:36:25,819 --> 00:36:28,364 Hey there, sweet thing. 666 00:36:28,364 --> 00:36:29,583 How is it going? 667 00:36:30,780 --> 00:36:31,810 Do you mind if I pet her? 668 00:36:31,810 --> 00:36:33,032 - Not at all, she loves the attention-- 669 00:36:33,032 --> 00:36:34,430 - Come here, come here. 670 00:36:34,430 --> 00:36:36,510 - I'm curious how you knew she was a female though. 671 00:36:36,510 --> 00:36:37,770 - Yeah, how did you know? 672 00:36:37,770 --> 00:36:40,293 It's not like she has a pink collar or anything. 673 00:36:41,170 --> 00:36:42,080 - Oh, I don't know. 674 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,420 I guess she just has a feminine look about her. 675 00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:46,403 - Yeah, she does. 676 00:36:47,250 --> 00:36:48,500 Do you wanna pet her too? 677 00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:50,333 - Sure. 678 00:36:51,580 --> 00:36:52,413 - Oh. 679 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:55,230 - What's her name? 680 00:36:55,230 --> 00:36:56,290 - [Tess] Sophie. 681 00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:59,660 - Aw. - Oh, she looks like a Sophie. 682 00:36:59,660 --> 00:37:01,073 - That she does. 683 00:37:02,230 --> 00:37:03,970 I'm Tess, by the way. 684 00:37:03,970 --> 00:37:05,600 - I'm Rob, this is Andy. 685 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:06,810 - [Tess] Nice to meet you guys. 686 00:37:06,810 --> 00:37:11,570 - See, this is the kind of dog I could see us maybe getting. 687 00:37:11,570 --> 00:37:13,190 Nice and small. 688 00:37:13,190 --> 00:37:14,960 - He wants a dog that's the size of a cat 689 00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,960 because he's a cat person. 690 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,430 - Not exclusively. 691 00:37:18,430 --> 00:37:19,970 - Well, if you're in the market for a dog, 692 00:37:19,970 --> 00:37:21,250 Shih Tzu's are really great. 693 00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:24,000 They're very low maintenance and very sweet and loving. 694 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,590 - [Rob] Hear that? 695 00:37:26,590 --> 00:37:30,930 - I'll take it under advisement. 696 00:37:30,930 --> 00:37:32,030 - Take it under advisement. 697 00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:34,460 What are you a judge in a fucking court of law? 698 00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:35,293 - Hey. 699 00:37:35,293 --> 00:37:36,880 - Another good thing about Shih Tzu's is, 700 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,320 they don't really bark all that much. 701 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:39,950 - Ooh, that's good to know. 702 00:37:39,950 --> 00:37:41,760 I don't want a yappy dog in our home. 703 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,710 - That's 'cause you're a yappy dog. 704 00:37:43,710 --> 00:37:45,810 Our house isn't big enough for two of you. 705 00:37:46,660 --> 00:37:49,123 Well, it was nice to meet you, Sophie. 706 00:37:49,970 --> 00:37:51,870 And you too, Tess, I'm sure we'll see you around. 707 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:54,295 - Oh yeah, we're always out walking, so. 708 00:37:54,295 --> 00:37:55,638 (chuckling) 709 00:37:55,638 --> 00:37:56,573 - Come on, Soph. - All right. 710 00:37:56,573 --> 00:37:58,090 All right. - Nice talking to you boys. 711 00:37:58,090 --> 00:37:59,255 - Bye. - You too. 712 00:37:59,255 --> 00:38:00,088 Bye. - See ya. 713 00:38:00,088 --> 00:38:00,921 - Come on. 714 00:38:06,357 --> 00:38:09,230 - Do you think it was rude that I asked her what her 715 00:38:09,230 --> 00:38:12,400 dog's name was, but I didn't ask her what her name was? 716 00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:13,250 - Of course I do. 717 00:38:14,270 --> 00:38:16,620 Did you notice she looked exactly like her dog? 718 00:38:18,310 --> 00:38:21,182 - I did, actually. 719 00:38:21,182 --> 00:38:23,932 (light music) Hm. 720 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,670 (birds chirping) 721 00:38:46,409 --> 00:38:48,826 (Andy sighs) 722 00:38:50,035 --> 00:38:51,100 Oh, hey. 723 00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:52,828 Oh, my God, look at that. 724 00:38:52,828 --> 00:38:54,410 - What? 725 00:38:54,410 --> 00:38:55,940 - It's a kitty. 726 00:38:55,940 --> 00:38:56,830 - Where? 727 00:38:56,830 --> 00:38:58,230 - Over there in that window. 728 00:38:59,418 --> 00:39:02,440 - Oh, Jesus, how can you even see that from here? 729 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:03,423 - I don't know. 730 00:39:03,423 --> 00:39:06,093 I must have like cat radar or something. 731 00:39:07,870 --> 00:39:09,810 Let's go pay him a visit. 732 00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:10,823 Come on, come on. 733 00:39:14,333 --> 00:39:15,166 - Okay. 734 00:39:16,994 --> 00:39:17,827 - Oh. 735 00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:23,683 Oh, isn't he adorable? 736 00:39:26,270 --> 00:39:27,220 Don't you think so? 737 00:39:28,180 --> 00:39:29,393 - Yeah, he's all right. 738 00:39:30,430 --> 00:39:34,140 - Hey, I said that I was willing to have a dog. 739 00:39:34,140 --> 00:39:35,640 Are you willing to have a cat? 740 00:39:36,930 --> 00:39:37,830 - I guess I would. 741 00:39:39,260 --> 00:39:40,780 - Really? 742 00:39:40,780 --> 00:39:43,430 - Yeah, I don't see why we couldn't have one of each. 743 00:39:45,677 --> 00:39:47,900 - You know what I love about city cats? 744 00:39:47,900 --> 00:39:48,850 - What? 745 00:39:48,850 --> 00:39:52,600 - I love that city cats like sitting in the window 746 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,790 and staring out at the world. 747 00:39:54,790 --> 00:39:59,340 It's like, everything that's happening out here is their 748 00:39:59,340 --> 00:40:02,020 favorite TV show and they can just tune in 749 00:40:02,020 --> 00:40:03,610 whenever they want. 750 00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,920 - Yeah, I suppose it's like a reality show that runs 751 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,180 for 24 hours a day, except nothing exciting ever happens. 752 00:40:09,180 --> 00:40:12,930 - No, I disagree with that. 753 00:40:12,930 --> 00:40:17,160 I mean, they can see squirrels and birds 754 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:19,490 and that's like porn for a cat. 755 00:40:19,490 --> 00:40:22,020 And the weather is always changing and the lighting's always 756 00:40:22,020 --> 00:40:25,960 changing and there's cars going by and people going by. 757 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,760 Like, special guest stars like you and me. 758 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,140 - Well, at least I'm special guest star in somebody's life. 759 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,910 Have you ever thought about the fact that to cats, 760 00:40:37,910 --> 00:40:40,393 we humans must seem like giants? 761 00:40:41,350 --> 00:40:46,350 - No, Rob, not just giants, but Gods. 762 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:49,673 - Shut up. 763 00:40:52,870 --> 00:40:54,379 - All right. 764 00:40:54,379 --> 00:40:56,053 Aw, let's go. 765 00:41:01,410 --> 00:41:02,723 - Hey. - Yeah, what's up? 766 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:05,870 - I wanted to talk to you. 767 00:41:05,870 --> 00:41:07,870 - Okay, what's going on? 768 00:41:07,870 --> 00:41:09,840 - I was gonna wait until we got to the beach, 769 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:14,840 but I figure, what the hell, might as well get it out now. 770 00:41:15,661 --> 00:41:16,819 (car alarm blaring) (Rob gasping) 771 00:41:16,819 --> 00:41:20,183 - Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 772 00:41:24,397 --> 00:41:26,240 (car beeping) 773 00:41:26,240 --> 00:41:27,547 Sorry. - Sorry. 774 00:41:32,663 --> 00:41:35,163 (light music) 775 00:41:50,190 --> 00:41:51,627 Well, here we are. 776 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,963 - Yup, here we are. 777 00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:59,453 - I love that we live so close to this lake. 778 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:04,361 - We should come here on a regular basis all summer long. 779 00:42:04,361 --> 00:42:05,194 - Yeah. 780 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,410 I think Chicago is the greatest city in the US, 781 00:42:11,410 --> 00:42:13,150 but I don't think I would feel that way 782 00:42:13,150 --> 00:42:14,753 if it wasn't for the lake. 783 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,353 Lake Michigan really defines this city. 784 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,720 Like, you have this massive body of water to the east 785 00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:28,720 and it's so huge that all you see is water and sky 786 00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:32,200 when you look in that direction. 787 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,330 But then when you turn around to the west, 788 00:42:34,330 --> 00:42:36,203 you have this huge metropolis, 789 00:42:37,350 --> 00:42:42,203 and Lake Shore Drive separates the two. 790 00:42:43,240 --> 00:42:44,073 - That's right. 791 00:42:45,220 --> 00:42:47,060 It starts out north on Hollywood, 792 00:42:47,060 --> 00:42:48,960 water is on the driving side. 793 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:50,800 Concrete mountains rearing up, 794 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,600 throwing shadows just about five. 795 00:42:53,677 --> 00:42:54,510 Hm. 796 00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:59,573 - So, what did you wanna talk to me about earlier? 797 00:43:01,660 --> 00:43:03,050 - I... 798 00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:07,563 Wanted to ask you. 799 00:43:09,930 --> 00:43:10,763 - Rob, spit it out. 800 00:43:10,763 --> 00:43:12,173 You're, you're scaring me. 801 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:20,080 - Do you want to get married? 802 00:43:22,540 --> 00:43:25,590 - Are you asking me like a hypothetical question? 803 00:43:25,590 --> 00:43:29,730 Like, do you think like it would be a good idea 804 00:43:29,730 --> 00:43:32,203 or are you asking me for real? 805 00:43:33,540 --> 00:43:35,640 - I'm asking you if you wanna get married. 806 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,950 - Yes, yes, I wanna get married. 807 00:43:41,950 --> 00:43:44,793 - Shit, I shoulda done this first. 808 00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:52,350 Andy, will you marry me? 809 00:43:52,350 --> 00:43:53,503 - Yes, yes! 810 00:43:58,881 --> 00:43:59,798 Oh, my God. 811 00:44:00,990 --> 00:44:01,890 It fits perfectly. 812 00:44:01,890 --> 00:44:04,724 I, I can't believe this. 813 00:44:04,724 --> 00:44:07,390 (light music) (Andy gasping) 814 00:44:07,390 --> 00:44:08,910 For Christ's sake, you scared me. 815 00:44:08,910 --> 00:44:12,473 I thought you were gonna say you were sick or something. 816 00:44:13,340 --> 00:44:15,210 - I picked up the ring from the jewelers yesterday 817 00:44:15,210 --> 00:44:16,930 and I've had it in my pants pocket ever since. 818 00:44:16,930 --> 00:44:18,590 I've never felt so nervous having something 819 00:44:18,590 --> 00:44:20,930 in my pocket before in my life. 820 00:44:20,930 --> 00:44:23,053 - I didn't think that you were serious. 821 00:44:24,980 --> 00:44:26,620 You're supposed to get down on your knee 822 00:44:26,620 --> 00:44:29,170 and take out the box before you ask me. 823 00:44:29,170 --> 00:44:31,020 - I know, I fucked it all up. 824 00:44:31,020 --> 00:44:32,480 I didn't think about the order in which I was 825 00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:33,413 supposed to do all that. - No. 826 00:44:33,413 --> 00:44:34,780 - I am sorry. 827 00:44:34,780 --> 00:44:37,000 - It's okay, it's perfect. 828 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:40,310 But I was thinking, is he asking me to marry him 829 00:44:40,310 --> 00:44:42,750 without getting me a ring? 830 00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:46,210 Because if I say yes, then he can run out 831 00:44:46,210 --> 00:44:47,430 and get one real quick. 832 00:44:47,430 --> 00:44:50,193 But if I say no, then he doesn't have to get one. 833 00:44:51,790 --> 00:44:53,990 - Yeah, that's probably what I shoulda done. 834 00:44:56,577 --> 00:44:58,910 (chuckling) 835 00:45:00,296 --> 00:45:01,129 - Oh. 836 00:45:02,950 --> 00:45:03,783 I love you. 837 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:05,783 - I love you too. 838 00:45:15,110 --> 00:45:18,683 - So when did you know you wanted to ask me? 839 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,320 - I decided pretty much as soon as we moved in together. 840 00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:26,030 - Well, that's good 'cause if you didn't, 841 00:45:26,030 --> 00:45:27,420 I was gonna ask you. 842 00:45:27,420 --> 00:45:28,600 - Really? 843 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:29,433 - Yeah. 844 00:45:30,490 --> 00:45:32,690 Now we have to get you a ring. 845 00:45:32,690 --> 00:45:33,523 - Sounds good. 846 00:45:34,370 --> 00:45:36,840 I have to admit, I was a little nervous earlier 847 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,955 when you were expressing some skepticism about dogs. 848 00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:43,000 - I wasn't expressing skepticism. 849 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:47,160 - Even so, you were making me have second thoughts, 850 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,193 but when you said you could envision us having a Shih Tzu, 851 00:45:51,220 --> 00:45:53,423 I breathed a huge fucking sigh of relief. 852 00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:58,886 - Well, yeah, I'm glad that I said the right thing. 853 00:45:58,886 --> 00:46:01,515 - Oh, me too. 854 00:46:01,515 --> 00:46:02,740 - Huh. 855 00:46:02,740 --> 00:46:05,520 Well, I breathed a sigh of relief when you said 856 00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,870 that you were willing to have a cat. 857 00:46:07,870 --> 00:46:08,913 - Is that so? 858 00:46:10,220 --> 00:46:11,053 - Yeah. 859 00:46:14,780 --> 00:46:16,530 - So, are you ready to go home now? 860 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:18,313 - No. 861 00:46:19,850 --> 00:46:21,730 (Andy sighs) 862 00:46:21,730 --> 00:46:23,490 I know there's a whole bunch of phone calls 863 00:46:23,490 --> 00:46:27,040 that we need to make, but I think I just wanna 864 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,623 sit here with you and take in the lake. 865 00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:33,883 - Sounds like heaven. 866 00:46:38,862 --> 00:46:41,362 (light music) 867 00:46:49,774 --> 00:46:52,524 (waves crashing) 868 00:47:41,576 --> 00:47:43,840 - Motherfucker! (fist thudding) 869 00:47:43,840 --> 00:47:46,060 - Baby, this is, oh, I can, this is not what it looks like. 870 00:47:46,060 --> 00:47:46,893 I can explain everything. 871 00:47:46,893 --> 00:47:48,344 - Explain who the fuck is this? 872 00:47:48,344 --> 00:47:49,177 In my bed? 873 00:47:49,177 --> 00:47:50,832 - Jesus Christ, Wyatt, you didn't tell me 874 00:47:50,832 --> 00:47:51,668 you lived with her. 875 00:47:51,668 --> 00:47:53,230 - You didn't tell her that you lived with me? 876 00:47:53,230 --> 00:47:55,030 Who the fuck are you? 877 00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:56,120 - I'm getting the fuck outta here, that's who I am. 878 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,290 - Yeah, you are. - Honey, uh, just, 879 00:47:58,290 --> 00:47:59,280 I'll call you, okay? 880 00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:00,113 Just, I'm sorry. 881 00:48:00,113 --> 00:48:01,040 Okay, listen to me. 882 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,210 She is a coworker of mine. 883 00:48:03,210 --> 00:48:05,190 She needed help with a special project 884 00:48:05,190 --> 00:48:06,284 and so I invited her over here-- 885 00:48:06,284 --> 00:48:07,680 - Special project? 886 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,717 Oh, I bet you just gave her some help with that, huh? 887 00:48:09,717 --> 00:48:10,830 - Listen. 888 00:48:10,830 --> 00:48:12,990 We were not doing anything wrong, okay? 889 00:48:12,990 --> 00:48:15,440 I know it looks weird from your perspective, 890 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:17,590 but I swear to God it was totally innocent. 891 00:48:17,590 --> 00:48:18,475 Just let me explain everything. 892 00:48:18,475 --> 00:48:19,775 - Explain, no fucking way. 893 00:48:19,775 --> 00:48:20,699 You're not gonna explain shit. 894 00:48:20,699 --> 00:48:21,532 You're gonna get the fuck out of here, 895 00:48:21,532 --> 00:48:23,130 and you're never coming back. 896 00:48:23,130 --> 00:48:26,140 - Okay, okay, I know you are upset. 897 00:48:26,140 --> 00:48:28,468 Okay, so I'm just gonna get dressed and then I'll leave. 898 00:48:28,468 --> 00:48:29,301 (Julie scoffs) 899 00:48:29,301 --> 00:48:31,060 And then in a few hours when you are calmed down 900 00:48:31,060 --> 00:48:32,970 and ready to talk about this rationally, 901 00:48:32,970 --> 00:48:35,210 you just give me a call and we'll talk about it, okay? 902 00:48:35,210 --> 00:48:37,597 - To think I brought you cupcakes from Jilly May's. 903 00:48:37,597 --> 00:48:39,170 I thought I was gonna surprise you 904 00:48:39,170 --> 00:48:40,320 with your favorite dessert. 905 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,810 I guess I'm the one who got the surprise. 906 00:48:41,810 --> 00:48:43,102 You know what you're gonna do? 907 00:48:43,102 --> 00:48:44,420 You're gonna eat these cupcakes right now 908 00:48:44,420 --> 00:48:45,891 you lying, cheating motherfucker. 909 00:48:45,891 --> 00:48:47,307 (cupcake thudding) (Julie groaning) 910 00:48:47,307 --> 00:48:48,386 Eat it! 911 00:48:48,386 --> 00:48:50,136 That's right, eat it! 912 00:48:53,256 --> 00:48:55,923 (Wyatt sighing) 913 00:49:01,690 --> 00:49:02,803 - You done now? 914 00:49:04,190 --> 00:49:05,240 Make you feel better? 915 00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:11,026 - No, I'm most certainly not done. 916 00:49:11,026 --> 00:49:13,776 (Julie groaning) 917 00:49:15,030 --> 00:49:17,060 Now you can get the fuck out of here. 918 00:49:17,060 --> 00:49:18,230 - Baby, can I just get the rest of clothes please? 919 00:49:18,230 --> 00:49:19,400 - No, you can't get your clothes first. 920 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:20,470 I'll throw 'em out the window and you can 921 00:49:20,470 --> 00:49:22,277 pick 'em up off the goddamn ground. 922 00:49:22,277 --> 00:49:26,676 (door slamming) (dramatic music) 923 00:49:26,676 --> 00:49:29,171 (buckle clanking) (chest creaking) 924 00:49:29,171 --> 00:49:30,004 Take it. 925 00:49:31,421 --> 00:49:32,254 Take it. 926 00:49:34,550 --> 00:49:36,133 Take it all, Wyatt. 927 00:49:38,262 --> 00:49:41,012 Take your whole fucking wardrobe. 928 00:49:41,012 --> 00:49:43,262 Fuck you. - Okay, thank you. 929 00:50:21,987 --> 00:50:24,317 - You know what else I want you to take with you? 930 00:50:24,317 --> 00:50:27,861 I want you to take this fucking Blu-ray player with you. 931 00:50:27,861 --> 00:50:28,986 - [Wyatt] No, no, no. 932 00:50:28,986 --> 00:50:32,670 (Blu-ray player crashing) 933 00:50:32,670 --> 00:50:35,150 - This is the year 2018, Wyatt. 934 00:50:35,150 --> 00:50:38,270 Who uses physical media anymore? 935 00:50:38,270 --> 00:50:40,683 You need to keep up with the times, motherfucker. 936 00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:45,000 (Wyatt sighs) 937 00:50:48,670 --> 00:50:50,260 Hi, is this Speedy Locksmith? 938 00:50:50,260 --> 00:50:52,860 Uh, yeah, my name is Julie Nerlove, 939 00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:55,230 I need the locks on my apartment changed. 940 00:50:55,230 --> 00:50:56,390 I have this psycho ex-boyfriend 941 00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:58,190 and I need them changed immediately. 942 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,743 Uh, yeah, I'll hold. 943 00:51:07,756 --> 00:51:10,947 (Julie sighs) 944 00:51:10,947 --> 00:51:14,530 (muffled children talking) 945 00:51:16,270 --> 00:51:17,510 Oh, my God. 946 00:51:17,510 --> 00:51:18,950 Oh, my God, dude. 947 00:51:18,950 --> 00:51:20,529 Fucking ew. 948 00:51:20,529 --> 00:51:22,947 (Julie shrieking) 949 00:51:22,947 --> 00:51:25,697 (dramatic music) 950 00:51:43,973 --> 00:51:46,890 (lighter clicking) 951 00:52:09,677 --> 00:52:11,533 And those were my good sheets, too. 952 00:52:13,150 --> 00:52:15,333 Super high thread count. 953 00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:20,302 (Julie sighs) 954 00:52:32,992 --> 00:52:35,909 (lighter clicking) 955 00:52:45,198 --> 00:52:47,698 (Julie sighs) 956 00:52:51,454 --> 00:52:54,371 (lighter clicking) 957 00:53:04,835 --> 00:53:07,752 (lighter thudding) 958 00:53:09,037 --> 00:53:11,537 (Julie sighs) 959 00:53:14,276 --> 00:53:16,240 (Julie moaning) 960 00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,343 I love coffee. 961 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:23,480 Like, I'm obsessed with it. 962 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:29,080 So much so that I don't trust people who don't drink it, 963 00:53:30,470 --> 00:53:34,513 and I'm mildly skeptical of people who use cream and sugar. 964 00:53:36,620 --> 00:53:38,463 Wyatt uses cream and sugar. 965 00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,383 Should have been a red flag. 966 00:53:43,190 --> 00:53:46,750 I'm sorry, I feel the need to apologize. 967 00:53:46,750 --> 00:53:50,780 I really do because that scene that you just witnessed was 968 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,333 really out of character for me. 969 00:53:57,809 --> 00:54:00,917 I mean, it was pretty dramatic, right? 970 00:54:03,419 --> 00:54:06,930 I'm not talking about the profanity, 971 00:54:06,930 --> 00:54:09,530 I've always had kind of a potty mouth. 972 00:54:09,530 --> 00:54:12,080 I mean, motherfucker is probably 973 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,640 my favorite word of all time. 974 00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:17,250 It usually has a positive connotation when I use it. 975 00:54:17,250 --> 00:54:19,943 Like, I'll say like, I love that motherfucker. 976 00:54:23,410 --> 00:54:25,823 Obviously, that wasn't the case today. 977 00:54:28,844 --> 00:54:30,620 (Julie sighs) 978 00:54:30,620 --> 00:54:35,060 Anyway, I actually hate dramatic people. 979 00:54:35,060 --> 00:54:36,140 And the people I hate most of all 980 00:54:36,140 --> 00:54:38,430 are the ones who say they hate drama, 981 00:54:38,430 --> 00:54:41,230 because I think that they secretly love it. 982 00:54:41,230 --> 00:54:42,700 And if you truly hated drama, 983 00:54:42,700 --> 00:54:43,533 you'd be better at avoiding it. 984 00:54:43,533 --> 00:54:44,366 You know what I mean? 985 00:54:48,670 --> 00:54:49,503 Anyway. 986 00:54:52,170 --> 00:54:55,500 If you were to ask anyone who knows me well, 987 00:54:55,500 --> 00:54:57,860 they'd tell you that my behavior 988 00:54:57,860 --> 00:55:02,860 just now was extremely atypical. 989 00:55:04,070 --> 00:55:08,310 Besides, I think my reaction was fitting given 990 00:55:08,310 --> 00:55:11,846 the dramatic nature of the scene that I just walked in on. 991 00:55:11,846 --> 00:55:14,203 Catching my boyfriend in bed with another woman. 992 00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:20,130 That is a first time that anything 993 00:55:20,130 --> 00:55:22,853 like that has ever happened to me. 994 00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:29,643 I left work early. 995 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:35,763 Normally, I'd call him, let him know. 996 00:55:38,220 --> 00:55:42,383 This time, I thought I'd surprise him with cupcakes. 997 00:55:54,610 --> 00:55:55,443 Well. 998 00:56:00,490 --> 00:56:04,643 You know, you saw what happened. 999 00:56:08,380 --> 00:56:09,680 The tail end of it anyway. 1000 00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:19,160 I'm guessing maybe you were interested in watching precisely 1001 00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:24,073 because it was so dramatic, huh? 1002 00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,210 I guess I should feel a little bit grateful for that. 1003 00:56:30,830 --> 00:56:35,180 I mean, it is a little flattering 1004 00:56:35,180 --> 00:56:37,180 that you were interested in watching me. 1005 00:56:38,430 --> 00:56:43,430 Because there are so many people and places and things 1006 00:56:46,430 --> 00:56:48,200 you could be looking at right now, 1007 00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:53,200 but for some reason you found me interesting. 1008 00:56:55,970 --> 00:56:59,929 Or watchable, 1009 00:56:59,929 --> 00:57:04,907 or maybe even attractive. 1010 00:57:11,090 --> 00:57:12,010 There's something about the way 1011 00:57:12,010 --> 00:57:14,343 you're looking at me that I like. 1012 00:57:16,353 --> 00:57:21,353 I feel like your gaze is caressing me. 1013 00:57:26,150 --> 00:57:31,150 It's not like a skeevy look or anything. 1014 00:57:31,820 --> 00:57:36,820 It's more like a loving look. 1015 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:43,783 One that makes me feel uh, 1016 00:57:46,730 --> 00:57:47,763 appreciated. 1017 00:57:50,420 --> 00:57:51,920 I'm gonna give you an analogy. 1018 00:57:53,420 --> 00:57:58,420 Have you ever heard the phrase, the camera loved so and so? 1019 00:57:59,700 --> 00:58:03,310 You hear people say that about the movie stars, you know? 1020 00:58:03,310 --> 00:58:08,310 Like, the camera loved Marlene Dietrich or whoever. 1021 00:58:08,730 --> 00:58:12,063 Well, I feel like that phrase is only half true. 1022 00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,070 I don't think the camera can love someone unless 1023 00:58:15,070 --> 00:58:17,423 that person also loves the camera. 1024 00:58:19,420 --> 00:58:23,023 I guess this is my roundabout way of saying that, 1025 00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:30,273 the truth is, I find you attractive too. 1026 00:58:34,530 --> 00:58:38,073 I've always found voyeurism a little bit sexy. 1027 00:58:40,950 --> 00:58:43,710 Not that I'm particularly kinky or anything. 1028 00:58:43,710 --> 00:58:47,023 Mind you my taste is sex is pretty vanilla, actually. 1029 00:58:48,151 --> 00:58:52,003 Who knows, that's why Wyatt had that other woman over here. 1030 00:58:52,890 --> 00:58:54,500 Anyway, am I saying too much? 1031 00:58:54,500 --> 00:58:55,333 I hope not. 1032 00:58:55,333 --> 00:59:00,040 I just, I think it's best to be honest and straight forward. 1033 00:59:02,607 --> 00:59:03,750 (Julie sighs) 1034 00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:06,403 I'm one of those my life is an open book kinda people. 1035 00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,320 Also, when I say I'm attracted you I hope you don't think 1036 00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:16,293 that means you're some kind of rebound or something. 1037 00:59:18,110 --> 00:59:19,620 Well, (stuttering), I don't mean, I mean, 1038 00:59:19,620 --> 00:59:22,810 I don't think of you as an old basketball or anything. 1039 00:59:22,810 --> 00:59:26,930 It's just that I've always been a serial monogamist. 1040 00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:27,810 Do you know what that means? 1041 00:59:27,810 --> 00:59:28,900 It means I kinda go from 1042 00:59:28,900 --> 00:59:30,660 one long term relationship to another. 1043 00:59:30,660 --> 00:59:31,683 I can't help it. 1044 00:59:32,830 --> 00:59:33,770 When I meet someone I like, 1045 00:59:33,770 --> 00:59:35,570 I just want it to be all or nothing. 1046 00:59:36,910 --> 00:59:39,250 Hope you don't think that's weird. 1047 00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:42,765 I just, (sighs), feel very open with you. 1048 00:59:42,765 --> 00:59:44,683 Like I could tell you anything. 1049 00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:49,270 That is not something I say to just anyone. 1050 00:59:49,270 --> 00:59:51,023 I promise, it's not typical. 1051 00:59:52,090 --> 00:59:54,140 And there have been some dry spells 1052 00:59:54,140 --> 00:59:56,830 in between relationships, believe me. 1053 00:59:56,830 --> 00:59:58,500 So, don't let that serial monogamy talk 1054 00:59:58,500 --> 00:59:59,743 freak you out too much. 1055 01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:02,073 When the chemistry is there, 1056 01:00:02,073 --> 01:00:05,423 I just don't think there's any sense in denying it. 1057 01:00:06,910 --> 01:00:09,770 And the chemistry that I feel with you right now 1058 01:00:09,770 --> 01:00:11,223 seems to be very genuine. 1059 01:00:13,270 --> 01:00:17,053 So, let's not deny it. 1060 01:00:19,281 --> 01:00:20,540 Would you like to dance to me? 1061 01:00:20,540 --> 01:00:23,010 I mean, I love to sing and dance. 1062 01:00:23,010 --> 01:00:25,030 Even though I might not be very good at it. 1063 01:00:25,030 --> 01:00:26,260 That's something you should know about me. 1064 01:00:26,260 --> 01:00:28,970 I think that all of life's big occasions should be 1065 01:00:28,970 --> 01:00:31,440 celebrated with song and dance numbers. 1066 01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:34,410 That's a good way of remembering things, you know? 1067 01:00:34,410 --> 01:00:36,680 I mean, if we were to sing and dance together right now, 1068 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:40,350 it could be a good way for us to commemorate 1069 01:00:40,350 --> 01:00:43,403 the end of my relationship with that asshole. 1070 01:00:44,550 --> 01:00:45,523 And who knows, I, 1071 01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:52,500 maybe it could also be a way for us to commemorate 1072 01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:55,323 the beginning of something new. 1073 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:58,633 Something new between us. 1074 01:01:00,810 --> 01:01:04,630 Well, I don't wanna count my chickens 1075 01:01:04,630 --> 01:01:06,550 before they hatch or anything, but... 1076 01:01:10,390 --> 01:01:12,140 I could see myself falling for you. 1077 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:17,683 Come on, let's dance. 1078 01:01:21,180 --> 01:01:24,310 This is one of my favorite songs. 1079 01:01:24,310 --> 01:01:27,393 It's Eva Taylor singing Baby, Won't You Please Come Home. 1080 01:01:28,410 --> 01:01:30,510 I used to sing this is the metro in Paris. 1081 01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:41,240 ("Baby, Won't You Please Come Home" by Eva Taylor) 1082 01:01:49,500 --> 01:01:51,062 ♪ I've got the blues ♪ 1083 01:01:51,062 --> 01:01:53,645 ♪ I feel so lonely ♪ 1084 01:01:53,645 --> 01:01:57,872 ♪ I'd give the world if I could only ♪ 1085 01:01:57,872 --> 01:02:02,085 ♪ Make you understand ♪ 1086 01:02:02,085 --> 01:02:06,214 ♪ It surely would be grand ♪ 1087 01:02:06,214 --> 01:02:10,044 ♪ I'm going to telegraph you baby ♪ 1088 01:02:10,044 --> 01:02:13,207 ♪ Ask you won't you please come home ♪ 1089 01:02:13,207 --> 01:02:16,197 ♪ 'Cause when you're gone ♪ 1090 01:02:16,197 --> 01:02:21,197 ♪ I worry all day long ♪ 1091 01:02:22,031 --> 01:02:26,722 ♪ Oh, baby, won't you please come home ♪ 1092 01:02:26,722 --> 01:02:30,826 ♪ 'Cause your mama's all alone ♪ 1093 01:02:30,826 --> 01:02:34,410 ♪ I have tried in vain ♪ 1094 01:02:34,410 --> 01:02:39,180 ♪ Never more to call your name ♪ 1095 01:02:39,180 --> 01:02:43,223 ♪ When you left you broke my heart ♪ 1096 01:02:43,223 --> 01:02:46,878 ♪ But that will never make us part ♪ 1097 01:02:46,878 --> 01:02:49,214 ♪ Every hour in the day ♪ 1098 01:02:49,214 --> 01:02:51,554 ♪ You will hear me say ♪ 1099 01:02:51,554 --> 01:02:54,386 ♪ Baby, won't you please come home ♪ 1100 01:02:54,386 --> 01:02:55,867 ♪ Cruel papa ♪ 1101 01:02:55,867 --> 01:03:00,117 ♪ Baby, won't you please come home ♪ 1102 01:03:48,822 --> 01:03:53,270 ♪ Oh, papa, won't you please come home ♪ 1103 01:03:53,270 --> 01:03:57,462 ♪ 'Cause your mama's all alone ♪ 1104 01:03:57,462 --> 01:04:01,036 ♪ I have cried in vain ♪ 1105 01:04:01,036 --> 01:04:05,686 ♪ Never more to call your name ♪ 1106 01:04:05,686 --> 01:04:09,720 ♪ When you left you broke my heart ♪ 1107 01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,337 ♪ But that will never make us part ♪ 1108 01:04:13,337 --> 01:04:15,424 ♪ Ever since you've been gone ♪ 1109 01:04:15,424 --> 01:04:17,999 ♪ All my things are in parts ♪ 1110 01:04:17,999 --> 01:04:20,433 ♪ Baby, won't you please come home ♪ 1111 01:04:20,433 --> 01:04:22,263 ♪ You old mean thing ♪ 1112 01:04:22,263 --> 01:04:24,617 ♪ Daddy, won't you please come home ♪ 1113 01:04:24,617 --> 01:04:26,315 ♪ But you're a sweet thing ♪ 1114 01:04:26,315 --> 01:04:30,565 ♪ Baby, won't you please come home ♪ 1115 01:04:34,537 --> 01:04:36,103 (Julie laughing) 1116 01:04:36,103 --> 01:04:38,588 (buzzing) 1117 01:04:38,588 --> 01:04:41,088 (light music) 1118 01:06:30,686 --> 01:06:33,936 (light dramatic music)