1
00:00:09,421 --> 00:00:11,981
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

2
00:00:13,261 --> 00:00:15,061
Hey, Mom.

3
00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:18,581
Sorry I'm late. Forgot what cabs are
like upstate.

4
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:20,181
I'm in no rush.

5
00:00:22,741 --> 00:00:24,901
Oh, fuck me, look at you.

6
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:28,421
How do you get more beautiful with
age? Is it just you?

7
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:30,821
Ruth can't fly. Course.

8
00:00:30,901 --> 00:00:32,381
I'm only her mother.

9
00:00:32,461 --> 00:00:35,701
She's about to give birth.
Already?

10
00:00:35,781 --> 00:00:37,261
I guess you'll have to do.

11
00:00:42,021 --> 00:00:46,221
So how are you feeling?
That feels like a leading question.

12
00:00:46,301 --> 00:00:48,781
I feel ready to go.

13
00:00:48,861 --> 00:00:50,941
I've been here for six weeks, alone.

14
00:00:51,021 --> 00:00:53,381
Mom, I live in London.

15
00:00:53,461 --> 00:00:56,301
I have a job. I called the centre.

16
00:00:56,381 --> 00:00:58,021
I arranged for you to come here.

17
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,301
They actually said that it was

18
00:00:59,341 --> 00:01:01,637
better to come see you on your way
out than on your way in.

19
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:04,141
Well, I'm sure they know best.

20
00:01:04,221 --> 00:01:06,701
So how, was it? How was what?
This place.

21
00:01:06,781 --> 00:01:09,341
Did they take care of you?
It was fine.

22
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:13,701
Well, you're welcome.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

23
00:01:13,781 --> 00:01:15,181
Did you want a thank you?

24
00:01:17,061 --> 00:01:19,341
I am. I'm so, so grateful.

25
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,821
I really, really am. I...

26
00:01:21,901 --> 00:01:24,181
I'm just tired, you know?

27
00:01:24,261 --> 00:01:27,501
This place is a fuck of a long way
from Manhattan.

28
00:01:27,581 --> 00:01:29,421
I suppose you did that on purpose.

29
00:01:30,701 --> 00:01:33,461
So how are you feeling? Peachy.

30
00:01:45,941 --> 00:01:47,381
I have a theory that cats are the

31
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:49,941
most successfully-evolved creatures
on the planet.

32
00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:51,781
They do whatever they like.

33
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,501
They go wherever they like.

34
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,781
I mean, even a dog you've got

35
00:01:54,861 --> 00:01:56,581
to put on a lead. You ever tried

36
00:01:56,661 --> 00:01:57,821
to put a lead on a cat?

37
00:01:57,901 --> 00:01:59,181
I have.

38
00:01:59,261 --> 00:02:00,821
Tea? Do you have coffee?

39
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,381
They can do whatever they like, and

40
00:02:02,461 --> 00:02:03,981
then they have these human slaves.

41
00:02:04,061 --> 00:02:05,981
Who follow them around and give 'em

42
00:02:06,061 --> 00:02:07,661
a warm bed and regular meals

43
00:02:07,741 --> 00:02:10,341
and clean up their shit.

44
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,581
Mike, why are you called
American Mike?

45
00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:15,661
There were two Michaels in my class
at school.

46
00:02:16,741 --> 00:02:17,741
Is that it?

47
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:19,501
Er, I used to have terrible

48
00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:21,501
chapped hands when I was a kid.

49
00:02:21,581 --> 00:02:23,701
My mum made me wear these

50
00:02:23,781 --> 00:02:25,861
black leather gloves.

51
00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:28,181
Gary Goodman said they looked like

52
00:02:28,261 --> 00:02:29,981
the gloves that OJ Simpson

53
00:02:30,061 --> 00:02:31,341
used to murder his wife.

54
00:02:31,421 --> 00:02:33,501
Anyway, bit of bad news.

55
00:02:33,581 --> 00:02:35,061
Doctor Dick's having his

56
00:02:35,141 --> 00:02:36,501
gall bladder removed.

57
00:02:36,581 --> 00:02:38,141
So I'm a little bit behind

58
00:02:38,221 --> 00:02:40,061
on my supply. What?

59
00:02:40,141 --> 00:02:42,021
No, don't panic. I've got a plan B.

60
00:02:42,101 --> 00:02:43,277
I just might not be able to get 'em

61
00:02:43,301 --> 00:02:44,581
to you till this afternoon.

62
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:45,941
I got the rest of it.

63
00:02:46,021 --> 00:02:47,821
Got you some extra Ambien cos you

64
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,341
said the last lot weren't working,

65
00:02:49,421 --> 00:02:50,701
but I don't need to tell you how

66
00:02:50,741 --> 00:02:52,221
easy this stuff is to get hooked on.

67
00:02:52,301 --> 00:02:53,661
So only use it when you

68
00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:56,341
absolutely need to. Promise?
Promise.

69
00:02:58,581 --> 00:03:00,421
Thanks for the, tea.

70
00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:02,901
Text me when that stuff gets in,
yeah? Right.

71
00:03:10,101 --> 00:03:11,621
Robyn, you son of a bitch.

72
00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:14,501
This is Melissa. How's London?
Is it raining?

73
00:03:14,581 --> 00:03:17,381
So, listen, I got your message
about Gabriel Cole.

74
00:03:17,461 --> 00:03:20,181
I don't wanna get into it
on the phone, but he had a thing

75
00:03:20,261 --> 00:03:22,821
with one of the girls in the office
here, and he got intense.

76
00:03:22,901 --> 00:03:26,461
Put it like this - he's a man who
likes to get his own way.

77
00:03:29,541 --> 00:03:30,701
Hey.

78
00:03:32,141 --> 00:03:35,661
Mmm, naughty. I have to work.

79
00:03:44,861 --> 00:03:47,621
HE URINATES
Don't mind me. Stay tonight.

80
00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:50,581
I can't. Stay tonight.

81
00:03:50,661 --> 00:03:53,381
Gabriel, I've been here for two
nights in a row. I need to go home.

82
00:03:53,461 --> 00:03:55,661
I need clothes. I'll buy you new
clothes.

83
00:03:55,741 --> 00:03:58,541
I don't need new clothes,
I need my clothes.

84
00:03:58,621 --> 00:04:01,061
Well, see,
they will be your clothes.

85
00:04:06,141 --> 00:04:07,861
Where, were we? Wash your hands.

86
00:04:34,181 --> 00:04:37,821
Ladies, this is William Pendelton
and Beth Fennell.

87
00:04:37,901 --> 00:04:39,781
Sorry.

88
00:04:41,701 --> 00:04:45,981
William is planning to run for mayor
at the next London election,

89
00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:48,341
and wants us to handle his campaign.

90
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,821
Look, I'm gonna cut to the chase.

91
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:55,141
I want to be party leader in
six years, Prime Minister in eight.

92
00:04:55,221 --> 00:04:58,421
That's the golden goose we're
fattening up here.

93
00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:00,701
London Mayor is the first step to
making that happen.

94
00:05:00,781 --> 00:05:02,981
We don't really do campaign
politics. Exactly.

95
00:05:03,061 --> 00:05:05,821
That's why you're perfect. Politics
doesn't do politics any more.

96
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:08,061
It's all about PR.

97
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,861
The last thing people want these
days is a politician.

98
00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:12,141
Give them the stats, Beth.

99
00:05:12,221 --> 00:05:15,181
Greater London represents 73
UK constituencies.

100
00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:18,781
It's also home to 59% of the
black population of the UK.

101
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:21,861
If we could engage those voters, we
would have a significant advantage.

102
00:05:21,941 --> 00:05:25,341
And I have something none
of my fellow candidates can offer.

103
00:05:25,421 --> 00:05:27,341
I'm urban.

104
00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:29,541
The mistake everyone is
making these days is

105
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,301
pandering to the old people,
who are living too long

106
00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:35,381
and growing more and more
conservative-slash-racist with age.

107
00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:38,381
You don't need to be a genius to
figure out there will be

108
00:05:38,461 --> 00:05:40,341
a tipping point. Old people die.

109
00:05:40,421 --> 00:05:42,181
Young people come of age.

110
00:05:42,261 --> 00:05:44,821
We believe within the next
seven years,

111
00:05:44,901 --> 00:05:47,901
as generation alpha reaches voting
age, the pendulum will swing

112
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,661
significantly enough to
command a majority.

113
00:05:49,741 --> 00:05:53,781
And then all hail Mayor William,
who shalt be king hereafter.

114
00:05:56,581 --> 00:05:57,861
HE CLEARS THROAT

115
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,901
Look, look, these kids have grown
up woke.

116
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:04,421
They spent their whole teenage years
listening to the adults

117
00:06:04,501 --> 00:06:07,901
argue about Brexit and #MeToo
and Trump and climate change,

118
00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:09,581
whilst not doing a thing about it,

119
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,101
and, as a result, they're
frustrated. They're angry.

120
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:15,501
Which means they'll vote.
And the good thing about these kids?

121
00:06:15,581 --> 00:06:16,781
All they care about is image.

122
00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:19,701
When was the last time you saw
a young person reading a manifesto?

123
00:06:19,781 --> 00:06:22,941
Personality, not policy, wins
the day.

124
00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:25,397
So long as they can feel like
they're being progressive enough

125
00:06:25,421 --> 00:06:27,221
to shout about it on social media,

126
00:06:27,301 --> 00:06:29,341
they will literally
take to the streets for you.

127
00:06:29,421 --> 00:06:33,301
And what's more progressive than
voting for the brown guy?

128
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,221
Not to mention Beth here,
campaign manager.

129
00:06:37,301 --> 00:06:39,581
She's a woman, and she's disabled.

130
00:06:40,541 --> 00:06:42,021
Show them your arm.

131
00:06:42,101 --> 00:06:43,501
No.
SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

132
00:06:43,581 --> 00:06:45,461
Please stop doing this in meetings.

133
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,581
So, what do you think?

134
00:06:52,181 --> 00:06:54,661
Do you even have tea? I have wine.

135
00:06:56,661 --> 00:07:00,181
So, how's London?

136
00:07:00,261 --> 00:07:02,581
It's great, actually.
You really like it there, don't you?

137
00:07:02,661 --> 00:07:04,781
Yeah, I do. Isn't it cold?

138
00:07:04,861 --> 00:07:06,501
No colder than here.

139
00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:09,501
On the shelf to left of the fridge.
The little tin.

140
00:07:11,421 --> 00:07:13,181
This isn't tea. It's herbal.

141
00:07:13,261 --> 00:07:15,261
Mom, I literally just
picked you up from treatment.

142
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:16,861
Not for pot.

143
00:07:16,941 --> 00:07:19,181
Come on, baby, please!

144
00:07:19,261 --> 00:07:21,221
It relaxes me.

145
00:07:23,381 --> 00:07:25,181
That's my girl.

146
00:07:26,221 --> 00:07:28,741
So, what do you wanna do today?

147
00:07:30,301 --> 00:07:33,061
I kind of have to work.
You just got here.

148
00:07:33,141 --> 00:07:36,021
Mom, the world can't just stop
every time you do this.

149
00:07:36,101 --> 00:07:37,781
What's that supposed to mean?

150
00:07:37,861 --> 00:07:39,661
It's not supposed to mean anything.

151
00:07:39,741 --> 00:07:41,021
Every time I do this?

152
00:07:41,101 --> 00:07:45,101
I'm sorry, am I inconveniencing you?

153
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:48,621
Please don't. Wait a minute.
Do you think that I was crying wolf?

154
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:53,301
Because let me tell you something,
sweetheart, I goddam meant it, OK?

155
00:07:56,741 --> 00:07:59,061
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just...

156
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,501
I'm anxious, you know.

157
00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:07,941
It's these new meds they have me on.
They make me, ugh.

158
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,221
It's OK.

159
00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:11,301
SHE EXHALES

160
00:08:20,101 --> 00:08:22,821
God, you are so pretty.

161
00:08:22,901 --> 00:08:25,461
Not as pretty as you. That's true.

162
00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:27,301
But you sure are pretty.

163
00:08:32,101 --> 00:08:33,381
Are you angry?

164
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,861
No. It's OK.

165
00:08:38,941 --> 00:08:41,181
You're allowed to be angry.
I'm not angry.

166
00:08:43,341 --> 00:08:46,741
Is Ruth angry? A little.

167
00:08:46,821 --> 00:08:48,581
Ruth doesn't do "a little".

168
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:52,901
Wonder where she got that from.
Ooh! Guilty.

169
00:08:52,981 --> 00:08:56,821
I'm sorry, we can't all be
emotionally detached.

170
00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:59,901
So, let's do something fun.

171
00:08:59,981 --> 00:09:03,061
What's fun? Ooh, let's go for
a carriage ride in Central Park.

172
00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,421
Mom, I'm not paying 100 bucks

173
00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:06,781
for some tired old horse to
drag us around the park.

174
00:09:06,861 --> 00:09:09,821
Fine, I'm just trying to come up
with things to do.

175
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:12,261
When do we see each other?
We should do something nice.

176
00:09:12,341 --> 00:09:15,101
You should rest.
I've been resting, for six weeks.

177
00:09:15,181 --> 00:09:17,581
Let's go shopping. For what?
I don't know.

178
00:09:17,661 --> 00:09:19,381
Ooh. Let's get manicures.

179
00:09:19,461 --> 00:09:21,621
I have been dying to get a manicure.

180
00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:23,181
I don't want a manicure.

181
00:09:23,261 --> 00:09:26,861
For Christ's sake, Robyn,
can you just help me out here?

182
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,821
You're so fucking negative.

183
00:09:31,301 --> 00:09:32,541
I'm sorry.

184
00:09:32,621 --> 00:09:35,301
I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry.

185
00:09:35,381 --> 00:09:37,781
I'm sorry. It's just... Come on.

186
00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:40,821
Everything is just...

187
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:45,781
Everything is just, kind of a lot.

188
00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:57,357
I guess if we're focusing on London
for now we need to show people

189
00:09:57,437 --> 00:10:00,277
that you're not just another
polished politician in a cheap suit.

190
00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:03,597
You need to show them your London.
Talk about your, your ends.

191
00:10:03,677 --> 00:10:05,557
Well, I didn't actually
grow up in London.

192
00:10:05,637 --> 00:10:08,317
I'm from Buckinghamshire.
I'm not going to lie.

193
00:10:08,397 --> 00:10:10,677
I went to prep school with
the majority of the cabinet.

194
00:10:10,757 --> 00:10:14,477
King's scholarship to Eton, four
years, classics at Balliol, Oxford.

195
00:10:14,557 --> 00:10:17,197
I know I'm not exactly, you know,
Eminem,

196
00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:19,757
but I've had my fair share of
scrapes.

197
00:10:19,837 --> 00:10:22,437
I've eaten my share of jerk chicken.

198
00:10:22,517 --> 00:10:25,077
OK, let's focus on your heritage.

199
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:27,797
Where are your grandparents from?
Er, Cambridgeshire.

200
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,397
Other side? Oh, right.

201
00:10:30,477 --> 00:10:32,157
Er, Ghana. Have you been? Er, no.

202
00:10:32,237 --> 00:10:34,677
No, my mother moved before I
was born.

203
00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:36,213
She didn't really have any
family left out there.

204
00:10:36,237 --> 00:10:37,717
Well, we're gonna need to find
some.

205
00:10:37,797 --> 00:10:40,117
Second, third, fifth cousins,
it doesn't matter.

206
00:10:40,197 --> 00:10:42,237
We're gonna need photos of you
with them out there.

207
00:10:42,317 --> 00:10:45,037
The more, you know,
Comic Relief-y the better. Got it.

208
00:10:45,117 --> 00:10:48,477
You're going to have to
talk about YOUR black experience.

209
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:53,317
The only thing is, I don't think my
black experience was that... black.

210
00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:54,837
Look, Will, I don't care if you were

211
00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:57,197
born on the moon with a
silver tablespoon up your arse.

212
00:10:57,277 --> 00:11:00,077
You are a black man
and you have experience,

213
00:11:00,157 --> 00:11:04,317
whether it's being called brother
or having your fist bumped

214
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,933
instead of your hand shook, being
asked where you're really from,

215
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,333
slowing down your walk home
so people don't think you're going

216
00:11:09,357 --> 00:11:12,877
to mug them, being told your hair is
fun, having people tell you how much

217
00:11:12,957 --> 00:11:15,637
they love R&B or Supermalt or
jollof rice.

218
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,997
You are authentic, whether you know
it or not.

219
00:11:19,077 --> 00:11:22,037
We just need to get under the,
the skin of it.

220
00:11:22,117 --> 00:11:25,437
I mean, I will say that at school
there was always the assumption

221
00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:28,517
that I'd be excellent at athletics,
you know, and I'm not,

222
00:11:28,597 --> 00:11:30,357
so, you know, that was difficult.

223
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:32,357
Ooh, wait, I think we've got it.

224
00:11:32,437 --> 00:11:34,477
We're positioning him
as a crusader, right?

225
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:37,237
An outsider who stands up for what's
right in the face of adversity.

226
00:11:37,277 --> 00:11:40,837
There's a UK First protest growing
outside Finsbury Park police

227
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,317
station as we speak.

228
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,517
They're angry because their

229
00:11:43,597 --> 00:11:46,477
colleague has been arrested for
religiously aggravated harassment?

230
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,557
Posted a poo through
the door of a mosque.

231
00:11:48,637 --> 00:11:51,597
Anyway, imagine black and white
image, nose-to-nose

232
00:11:51,677 --> 00:11:54,917
with the fascists. No fear for his
own personal safety.

233
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:56,437
Outmanned, outnumbered.

234
00:11:56,517 --> 00:11:59,237
Our hero delivers
an impassioned speech,

235
00:11:59,317 --> 00:12:01,477
telling the protestors
he understands why they're angry

236
00:12:01,517 --> 00:12:03,917
but it's the politicians
who are really to blame.

237
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:06,917
The politicians he happens to be the
antidote to. A speech for the ages.

238
00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:08,757
All captured in a flurry of
camera phones.

239
00:12:08,837 --> 00:12:11,557
And as a result
he is viciously attacked.

240
00:12:11,637 --> 00:12:13,437
Sorry, what? Hate crime. Nice.

241
00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:14,797
Police pull him from the affray.

242
00:12:14,837 --> 00:12:16,877
Footage on repeat on every
rolling news station.

243
00:12:16,957 --> 00:12:20,317
The man who stood up against the
rising tide of the far right.

244
00:12:20,397 --> 00:12:22,877
You'll be a hero. A symbol. Martyr.

245
00:12:22,957 --> 00:12:25,477
Just so I'm clear, we're saying
he should go and get beaten up?

246
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:28,197
Look, couldn't I just present a
MOBO or something?

247
00:12:28,277 --> 00:12:29,797
We'll set the whole thing up.
Fake it.

248
00:12:29,877 --> 00:12:32,077
We'll hire an actor for you to
confront at the protest.

249
00:12:32,157 --> 00:12:34,477
Actually, this could work very well
for us.

250
00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:35,837
Focus groups were saying William

251
00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:37,957
needs to score better on the
masculinity front, too.

252
00:12:38,037 --> 00:12:39,757
I'm sorry, what? Fun.

253
00:12:39,837 --> 00:12:43,437
We're going to need to move quickly
if we want to turn this around.

254
00:12:43,517 --> 00:12:47,557
William? You think it'll give me,
you know, Idris vibes?

255
00:12:47,637 --> 00:12:49,077
Definitely. For sure. Absolutely.

256
00:12:49,157 --> 00:12:50,237
Without a doubt. OK, fine.

257
00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:52,837
But just make sure
they avoid the face.

258
00:13:06,397 --> 00:13:08,237
SHE GASPS Holy flaps.

259
00:13:08,317 --> 00:13:10,557
This place is meant to be insane.

260
00:13:10,637 --> 00:13:13,757
They give you, like, this personal
shopper who just, like, brings

261
00:13:13,837 --> 00:13:16,717
you dresses whilst you sip champagne
and enjoy Himalayan salt foot rubs.

262
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,197
God, I wish I could date
a gazillionaire.

263
00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:20,837
You're his Pretty Woman.

264
00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:22,997
Pretty Woman is about a prostitute.

265
00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:24,957
Oh. Still. Why are you dressed like

266
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,877
you're about to show me where
the exits are?

267
00:13:26,957 --> 00:13:29,157
My mum and dad are coming down to
take me for dinner.

268
00:13:29,237 --> 00:13:31,517
I got it from samples. Is it OK?
Depends.

269
00:13:31,597 --> 00:13:33,733
Do your parents think you're
a contestant on The Apprentice?

270
00:13:33,757 --> 00:13:35,333
Tanya Bert just called.
She's freaking out.

271
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,053
Something about a tweet
taken out of context.

272
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,717
I'd better get round there.
Eve, will you run point on William?

273
00:13:39,797 --> 00:13:41,997
Melody, can you find us
an actor for the demonstration?

274
00:13:42,077 --> 00:13:44,917
Try the people we used for the
Cumberbatch mugging.

275
00:13:44,997 --> 00:13:48,877
FYI, Honey Pup have sent a selection
of products as a thank you

276
00:13:48,957 --> 00:13:50,917
for helping with their launch.

277
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,293
You might want to head over there

278
00:13:52,317 --> 00:13:54,317
before the vultures plunder all the
quality merch.

279
00:13:54,397 --> 00:13:55,877
Come on, Band Camp.

280
00:13:55,957 --> 00:13:59,357
If anyone ever needed a free
high-end sex toy, it's you.

281
00:13:59,437 --> 00:14:01,797
Are you coming? No, I'm good for
love eggs.

282
00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:03,133
I'd better get round to Tanya's.

283
00:14:03,157 --> 00:14:05,237
Why aren't you securing my spot?

284
00:14:05,317 --> 00:14:06,997
No-one takes anything till
I'm there.

285
00:14:07,077 --> 00:14:08,837
Mark the thieves' hands with a
Sharpie.

286
00:14:10,757 --> 00:14:13,037
It's not like you to
turn down a free butt plug.

287
00:14:13,117 --> 00:14:14,957
I've got butt plugs
coming out of my ass.

288
00:14:16,597 --> 00:14:18,357
Nice shoes.

289
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:23,677
So, are you and Gabriel...?
It's just a bit of fun.

290
00:14:23,757 --> 00:14:25,037
Right...

291
00:14:25,117 --> 00:14:27,797
Oh, Christ, what is it, Rob?

292
00:14:27,877 --> 00:14:29,277
Are you sure he's a good guy?

293
00:14:29,357 --> 00:14:31,557
Sure, cos that's my type, right?
Good guys.

294
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:36,277
I mean, that really worked out
well for me last time, didn't it?

295
00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:39,477
I'm sorry, that wasn't fair.
No, it's just I...

296
00:14:39,557 --> 00:14:42,117
Look, Rob, I appreciate
the sentiment,

297
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:46,677
and I'm glad that we can be pals
again, but I'm just not sure

298
00:14:46,757 --> 00:14:50,077
that we're at that point of doing
the whole boy-talk thing yet.

299
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:54,397
Sure. Look, go deal with Tanya.
I'll get things moving here.

300
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,997
We'll see you at the rally and I'll

301
00:14:56,077 --> 00:14:58,797
see if I can save you some
nipple clamps, OK?

302
00:14:58,877 --> 00:15:00,237
SHE SIGHS

303
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:05,757
OK, ladies.

304
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:08,077
We're doing this in order of need
and experience.

305
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,477
I'm afraid I'm trumping on both
counts.

306
00:15:10,557 --> 00:15:12,437
Got one, got one.

307
00:15:12,517 --> 00:15:15,077
Doesn't work? Ooh, these are good.

308
00:15:15,157 --> 00:15:17,117
Sandra, order of need.

309
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:22,597
Hello, again. Oh, hi.

310
00:15:22,677 --> 00:15:24,437
Um, how are you? I'm good.

311
00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:26,493
Yeah, just thought I'd come for a
mooch, see if I could pick up

312
00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:28,597
something for me and the boy. Great.

313
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,237
What sort of stuff was he into
when you guys were together?

314
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:33,117
Would he wear a vibrating cock ring?

315
00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:35,877
You'd have to ask him.

316
00:15:35,957 --> 00:15:38,437
Oh, my God. I've got one of these
bad boys. They're amazing.

317
00:15:38,517 --> 00:15:39,637
Have you tried them?

318
00:15:39,717 --> 00:15:42,557
I've never actually had
a vibrator before.

319
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,837
That explains so much. Excuse me?

320
00:15:47,917 --> 00:15:50,597
OK, you're taking this. Um...

321
00:15:50,677 --> 00:15:52,197
I'm not really sure I need this.

322
00:15:52,277 --> 00:15:55,477
Honestly, I couldn't live without
one if I was single. Trust me.

323
00:15:55,557 --> 00:15:58,797
Warm and constant, glass of pinot,
The Weekend on Spotify.

324
00:15:58,877 --> 00:16:01,717
You'll never want to
leave your house again.

325
00:16:01,797 --> 00:16:04,477
Yoink. That's Christmas sorted.

326
00:16:04,557 --> 00:16:05,757
As you were.

327
00:16:08,877 --> 00:16:10,557
'Scuse me.

328
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,517
THEY CHUCKLE

329
00:16:16,877 --> 00:16:18,877
PHONE VIBRATES AND RINGS

330
00:16:18,957 --> 00:16:20,437
OK, listen to this. Day care for

331
00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:22,717
Teddy is going to cost
eleven hundred a month.

332
00:16:22,797 --> 00:16:25,197
A nanny to pick up Kelly from
school and then watch them

333
00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,237
until 5:30, that's £10 an hour.

334
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:30,157
Travel for me at peak is £13 a day,

335
00:16:30,237 --> 00:16:32,437
so that's £1,588 a month.

336
00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:34,957
Starting salary is 22K, minus tax,

337
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:40,477
so that will leave me with a very
healthy profit of £49.06 a week.

338
00:16:40,557 --> 00:16:42,757
I mean, I actually don't know how
single parents do it.

339
00:16:42,837 --> 00:16:45,437
Having a job is literally going
to bankrupt me.

340
00:16:45,517 --> 00:16:47,477
Not to mention, I have actually

341
00:16:47,557 --> 00:16:49,637
nothing that is appropriate
to wear in an office.

342
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,157
All of my clothes are, like, pyjamas

343
00:16:51,237 --> 00:16:53,797
covered in barf or dresses I haven't
worn since I was 21.

344
00:16:53,877 --> 00:16:57,717
Can I wear red to an office,
or will I look like a handmaiden?

345
00:16:57,797 --> 00:17:00,437
Ruth, it's a job, not a date.

346
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:02,237
Relax. You dress yourself every day.

347
00:17:02,317 --> 00:17:04,837
Just dress like you're meeting
Mark's parents.

348
00:17:04,917 --> 00:17:07,397
OK, well now I'm nervous.
Look, I've got to go.

349
00:17:07,477 --> 00:17:08,757
I love you, OK?

350
00:17:11,637 --> 00:17:12,837
Blessed be the fruit.

351
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:22,797
So, was it helpful? What?
Are you asking me if I'm fixed?

352
00:17:22,877 --> 00:17:25,717
Cos, honey, you know
it doesn't work like that.

353
00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:27,557
I wasn't asking that. You're asking

354
00:17:27,637 --> 00:17:30,997
me for reassurances I can't give
you. Robyn, please don't

355
00:17:31,077 --> 00:17:32,957
put pressure on me.

356
00:17:33,037 --> 00:17:36,237
Sorry. I'm not putting pressure
on you.

357
00:17:37,837 --> 00:17:40,437
What do you weigh? Why?

358
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,437
I'm making conversation.

359
00:17:45,037 --> 00:17:46,957
Did they make you do
a lot of talking?

360
00:17:47,037 --> 00:17:49,757
You mean therapy? Oh, Christ!

361
00:17:49,837 --> 00:17:54,077
Every day we had to sit in that room
and listen to each other make up

362
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:57,877
interesting excuses for why
we're all such fuck-ups.

363
00:17:59,357 --> 00:18:03,037
Please promise me
you'll never go to therapy.

364
00:18:03,117 --> 00:18:04,557
What? Why?

365
00:18:04,637 --> 00:18:08,677
I can't bear the thought of you
paying money just to sit in a room

366
00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:11,077
and have someone try to convince you
it's all my fault.

367
00:18:12,997 --> 00:18:16,517
Anyway, it's all Jared's fault,
that motherfucker!

368
00:18:19,597 --> 00:18:21,957
You haven't heard from him?

369
00:18:22,037 --> 00:18:23,157
Dad? Yeah.

370
00:18:25,157 --> 00:18:27,677
No. Why, have you? No. I...

371
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:32,717
Just wondered,
me being in the hospital.

372
00:18:34,477 --> 00:18:36,517
How would he know? I don't know.

373
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:40,597
People hear about things,
don't they? People talk.

374
00:18:40,677 --> 00:18:42,237
Facebook, I don't know.

375
00:18:47,237 --> 00:18:50,957
The therapist told me I'm grieving
for the loss of my daughters.

376
00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:52,397
What?

377
00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:57,557
I'm not having this conversation
again. My abandonment issues.

378
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,797
Empty nest syndrome.

379
00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:01,077
You never had a nest, Mom.

380
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:03,317
I'm just telling you what she said.

381
00:19:03,397 --> 00:19:05,077
So this is our fault?

382
00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:06,677
I'm not saying that.

383
00:19:06,757 --> 00:19:08,637
I'm not doing this.

384
00:19:08,717 --> 00:19:12,717
Look, I didn't ask you to put me
in that godawful place.

385
00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:15,477
That awful place cost me
nearly half my savings.

386
00:19:15,557 --> 00:19:17,437
Sam and I were
saving for a down payment.

387
00:19:17,517 --> 00:19:19,837
Well, it's very sweet of you to
lay that at my feet.

388
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:22,237
I'm not laying anything at your
feet, I just...

389
00:19:22,317 --> 00:19:24,837
It doesn't matter. Christ!

390
00:19:24,917 --> 00:19:27,277
You've still got that nasty temper,
I see.

391
00:19:27,357 --> 00:19:28,877
What do you want from me?

392
00:19:30,117 --> 00:19:32,797
If you don't want to be here
then just do it.

393
00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:34,957
It's not that hard to fucking die.

394
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:38,037
Not even you can get it wrong,
four times.

395
00:19:39,277 --> 00:19:44,397
I will not feel responsible for you.

396
00:19:44,477 --> 00:19:47,717
You cannot keep doing this shit to
try to get us to come back.

397
00:19:50,157 --> 00:19:52,717
Why do you think
we left in the first place?

398
00:19:55,037 --> 00:19:58,037
Oh, honey. Oh, baby.

399
00:19:58,117 --> 00:19:59,957
Oh, oh, baby.

400
00:20:00,037 --> 00:20:01,797
Shh, shh.

401
00:20:03,557 --> 00:20:04,997
Mamma's here.

402
00:20:44,517 --> 00:20:45,877
SHE SIGHS

403
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,277
SHE RETCHES

404
00:21:03,037 --> 00:21:04,757
WATER RUNS

405
00:21:10,829 --> 00:21:16,349
So, I'm in Waitrose,
buying stuff for dinner.

406
00:21:16,429 --> 00:21:19,309
I'm making French beans and
mangetout with hazelnuts and orange.

407
00:21:19,389 --> 00:21:20,589
What the hell is mangetout?

408
00:21:20,669 --> 00:21:22,269
You know, the peas.

409
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:23,789
The little peas in suits.

410
00:21:23,869 --> 00:21:27,229
Oh, you mean snow peas. I've no idea
what Americans call them,

411
00:21:27,309 --> 00:21:29,469
but we call them mangetout,
and so does Ottolenghi.

412
00:21:29,549 --> 00:21:31,029
What? The recipe.

413
00:21:31,109 --> 00:21:34,069
It's from the Ottolenghi cookbook
that Addy got me for Christmas.

414
00:21:34,149 --> 00:21:36,829
We're trying to do the whole vegan
thing, you know, save the planet.

415
00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:38,965
OK, Tanya, I think we're getting
a little side-tracked here.

416
00:21:38,989 --> 00:21:41,749
OK, so I got the French beans
and the hazelnuts and the orange

417
00:21:41,829 --> 00:21:44,709
and the chives, and I'm going for
the mangetout, or snow peas,

418
00:21:44,789 --> 00:21:47,165
and they're all out, except for one
soggy pack which is all brown

419
00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:48,789
and past its sell-by-date.

420
00:21:48,869 --> 00:21:51,029
You know, this is Waitrose.

421
00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:53,005
I mean, at certain supermarket
chains you'd expect this

422
00:21:53,029 --> 00:21:54,909
sort of bull dust, but Waitrose?

423
00:21:54,989 --> 00:21:58,749
Tanya. So, I complain to the shop
assistant. He apologises.

424
00:21:58,829 --> 00:22:00,965
I snap a pic and throw it up on
Twitter, thinking I might get

425
00:22:00,989 --> 00:22:02,469
some free vouchers or something,

426
00:22:02,549 --> 00:22:04,189
just saying, "This is disgusting,

427
00:22:04,269 --> 00:22:07,029
"what is the world coming to?
Shame on you, Waitrose."

428
00:22:07,109 --> 00:22:08,669
"Hashtag brown man get out"?

429
00:22:08,749 --> 00:22:10,669
No, mangetout!

430
00:22:10,749 --> 00:22:13,229
"Hashtag brown mangetout."

431
00:22:14,949 --> 00:22:17,549
Oh, Jesus! It was an innocent
mistake.

432
00:22:17,629 --> 00:22:19,229
It wasn't my fault people
read it wrong.

433
00:22:19,309 --> 00:22:20,669
Why haven't you deleted the tweet?

434
00:22:20,749 --> 00:22:23,909
I tried to explain it, but it's hard
to do in 280 characters.

435
00:22:23,989 --> 00:22:26,429
I just kept getting these angry
messages. I freaked out.

436
00:22:26,509 --> 00:22:28,949
I couldn't look at it any more.
Where's your phone now?

437
00:22:29,029 --> 00:22:32,189
I panicked and hid it in the teapot.
OK.

438
00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:34,829
We will just have to tell people
that your account was hacked.

439
00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:37,589
Hacked? Who's gonna hack my account
to tweet about peas?

440
00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:39,109
Well, do you have a better idea?

441
00:22:39,189 --> 00:22:41,469
It's not my job to have a better
idea, it's yours.

442
00:22:41,549 --> 00:22:44,309
I'm clinging onto this Springwatch
contract by a thread.

443
00:22:44,389 --> 00:22:46,509
If the BBC sack me for...
OK, I get it.

444
00:22:46,589 --> 00:22:48,629
Just give me the phone.
I'll draft something.

445
00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:52,789
Oh, what do they want?

446
00:22:52,869 --> 00:22:54,549
Oh. What?

447
00:22:54,629 --> 00:22:58,069
That's weird. 14,027 followers?

448
00:22:58,149 --> 00:23:01,549
Why is that weird? Because I
only had 9,500 this morning.

449
00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:03,869
PHONE VIBRATES AND RINGS
Just a sec.

450
00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:07,229
Yeah. I've got an actor. It's Matt.
We've used him before.

451
00:23:07,309 --> 00:23:09,589
Yep, I remember Matt.
Eve's written it up. We're gonna

452
00:23:09,669 --> 00:23:12,429
jump it in an Uber with William to
Finsbury Park Police Station.

453
00:23:12,509 --> 00:23:14,149
Matt's gonna be there at three.

454
00:23:14,229 --> 00:23:16,510
Eve wants you to brief him
while I meet the photographers.

455
00:23:16,549 --> 00:23:19,709
Three? I just got here. OK.

456
00:23:20,829 --> 00:23:23,869
I'm gonna have to go. What? Now?

457
00:23:23,949 --> 00:23:26,149
It's an emergency.
Well, what do you bloody call this?

458
00:23:26,229 --> 00:23:27,509
I'm gonna text you what you need

459
00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:30,949
to tweet, and then after you post it
just sit tight. OK? No, Robyn.

460
00:23:31,029 --> 00:23:33,389
I'll call you when I get off
the Tube.

461
00:23:33,469 --> 00:23:35,109
INDISTINCT SHOUTING

462
00:23:35,189 --> 00:23:39,389
No more mosques! No more mosques...

463
00:23:42,149 --> 00:23:44,469
No more mosques! No more mosques!

464
00:23:46,869 --> 00:23:49,349
Christ's sake. What? My keys.

465
00:23:49,429 --> 00:23:52,269
Gabriel's taken my bloody keys.
What? He's done it before.

466
00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:54,349
It's cos he wants me
to go back to his.

467
00:23:54,429 --> 00:23:56,469
Yeah, that's weird.

468
00:23:56,549 --> 00:23:57,709
Go find Robyn.

469
00:24:00,029 --> 00:24:02,949
This is exciting, isn't it?
Political espionage.

470
00:24:03,029 --> 00:24:04,389
Feel like we're in Bodyguard.

471
00:24:04,469 --> 00:24:06,549
Look, are we 100% sure this is
a vote winner?

472
00:24:06,629 --> 00:24:08,989
Are you kidding me? This is gold.

473
00:24:09,069 --> 00:24:10,389
It's like This is England 2020.

474
00:24:10,469 --> 00:24:13,309
Not a flat white in sight.
Ironically.

475
00:24:13,389 --> 00:24:15,589
Do you remember your safe word?
Er, marmalade.

476
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,469
THEY CHATTER INDISTINCTLY

477
00:24:18,549 --> 00:24:20,869
HELICOPTER WHIRS

478
00:24:23,069 --> 00:24:25,189
OK, got the scripts.

479
00:24:25,269 --> 00:24:27,069
All OK? Yeah, fine.

480
00:24:27,149 --> 00:24:28,909
Just...

481
00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:31,949
By the way, I wanted to say thank
you. For what?

482
00:24:32,029 --> 00:24:33,749
Telling Eve about my appointment.

483
00:24:33,829 --> 00:24:35,189
Oh, yeah, right.

484
00:24:35,269 --> 00:24:37,549
But also, don't look at my stuff.

485
00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:38,869
OK.

486
00:24:38,949 --> 00:24:41,589
Melody? Matt?

487
00:24:41,669 --> 00:24:44,349
You're not Matt. No.
Sorry, Matt couldn't make it.

488
00:24:44,429 --> 00:24:46,509
He had an audition come
through for Call the Midwife,

489
00:24:46,589 --> 00:24:47,869
so he asked me to cover for him.

490
00:24:47,909 --> 00:24:51,429
I'm Leon, his flatmate.
Um, but, but you're...

491
00:24:51,509 --> 00:24:54,629
Did he tell you about the gig? Are
you sure you're comfortable with it?

492
00:24:54,709 --> 00:24:56,389
Look, a job's a job, innit?

493
00:24:56,469 --> 00:24:59,029
I was just doing this profit share
underneath Waterloo,

494
00:24:59,109 --> 00:25:00,949
so, I'm a bit broke.

495
00:25:02,109 --> 00:25:05,309
Still waiting to hear back from a
bit on Doctor Who, semi-regular.

496
00:25:05,389 --> 00:25:08,309
This, gay blue alien who has
a thing for one of her assistants.

497
00:25:08,389 --> 00:25:10,949
Down to the last two,
but they said I'd hear yesterday,

498
00:25:11,029 --> 00:25:13,429
so I think they've given
it to the other fucker.

499
00:25:13,509 --> 00:25:15,069
Oh, kill me.

500
00:25:15,149 --> 00:25:16,869
You do know it's quite physical?

501
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,149
Look, babe, I've played a bad boy
a ton.

502
00:25:19,229 --> 00:25:21,909
At drama school we did this
production of Macbeth all

503
00:25:21,989 --> 00:25:23,349
set on a council estate.

504
00:25:23,429 --> 00:25:26,949
I played one of the witches and
we were like these chavs on BMXs.

505
00:25:27,029 --> 00:25:29,309
We did a six-day-long
form improvisation.

506
00:25:29,389 --> 00:25:30,749
We went a bit mental.

507
00:25:30,829 --> 00:25:32,989
Day five we killed a fox.

508
00:25:33,069 --> 00:25:36,149
My point is, is that I've got it,
the full immersion.

509
00:25:36,229 --> 00:25:38,469
You're not gonna use my face or
anything, right?

510
00:25:38,549 --> 00:25:40,845
Cos I did this advert for
Wall's sausages and we said that we

511
00:25:40,869 --> 00:25:43,669
can't do anything that contradicts
the brand values.

512
00:25:43,749 --> 00:25:45,909
I'm not entirely familiar
with their value system,

513
00:25:45,989 --> 00:25:50,509
but I think it's probably best
if we obscure your face, either way.

514
00:25:50,589 --> 00:25:53,389
I'm gonna go meet the photographer.

515
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:54,749
Here's your script.

516
00:25:54,829 --> 00:25:57,029
PHONE RINGS

517
00:25:57,109 --> 00:25:59,669
How are you getting on?
Uh, change of plan.

518
00:25:59,749 --> 00:26:02,149
Matt is now Leon.
He's wearing a red hoodie.

519
00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:05,109
Red hoodie, OK.
I've gotta go. It's Tanya.

520
00:26:05,189 --> 00:26:06,709
PHONE RINGS

521
00:26:06,789 --> 00:26:08,749
19,000. What?

522
00:26:08,829 --> 00:26:11,309
I've got 19,000 followers.
PHONE CHIMES

523
00:26:11,389 --> 00:26:13,589
Well, 19,810...
PHONE CHIMES

524
00:26:13,669 --> 00:26:14,949
..11, actually.

525
00:26:15,029 --> 00:26:18,349
OK, I've sent you the apology.
All you have to do is just...

526
00:26:18,429 --> 00:26:20,645
I'm wondering whether an apology
might not be the way to go.

527
00:26:20,669 --> 00:26:22,389
What do you mean?
PHONE VIBRATES

528
00:26:22,469 --> 00:26:26,309
Oh, sorry, I have to put you on
hold. Yes? We're on.

529
00:26:26,389 --> 00:26:27,989
The eagle has left the nest.

530
00:26:28,069 --> 00:26:30,429
I repeat, the eagle has left the
nest.

531
00:26:30,509 --> 00:26:32,869
OK, now, go. Now, now, now. Go.

532
00:26:34,429 --> 00:26:36,509
Tanya, what do you mean,
not the way to go?

533
00:26:36,589 --> 00:26:39,189
I just think a lot of people have
been touched by what I've said.

534
00:26:39,269 --> 00:26:41,109
About the snow peas?!

535
00:26:41,189 --> 00:26:44,269
My agent just called. They're
enquiring about Question Time.

536
00:26:44,349 --> 00:26:46,349
You're gonna have to speak up.
I can't hear you.

537
00:26:46,429 --> 00:26:49,949
They're looking for an alternative
POV to talk about the protests.

538
00:26:50,029 --> 00:26:52,709
They think I could be the palatable
face of the far right.

539
00:26:52,789 --> 00:26:54,869
That does not sound like a
good thing.

540
00:26:54,949 --> 00:26:58,029
You always said I needed
more of a persona, a brand.

541
00:26:58,109 --> 00:27:00,469
I meant like the woman who wears
wacky earrings,

542
00:27:00,549 --> 00:27:02,269
not the woman who burns crosses.

543
00:27:02,349 --> 00:27:06,029
Every drama needs an antagonist,
Robyn. It's like panto.

544
00:27:06,109 --> 00:27:08,349
Speaking of which,
I've just been offered two of those.

545
00:27:08,429 --> 00:27:11,349
Tanya, people think you're a
fascist! No, that's not true.

546
00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:12,709
Listen to my Twitter feed.

547
00:27:12,789 --> 00:27:14,269
"Finally, someone with the stones

548
00:27:14,349 --> 00:27:16,629
"to say what we're all feeling.
GGoodman77."

549
00:27:16,709 --> 00:27:19,829
"Need ppl like you to
fight for our free spitch."

550
00:27:19,909 --> 00:27:22,109
She must mean speech.

551
00:27:22,189 --> 00:27:25,069
"Loved you on Strictly. SOP1982."

552
00:27:25,149 --> 00:27:28,189
She thinks I'm Rachel Riley.
Hm. Like.

553
00:27:28,269 --> 00:27:30,109
THEY CHANT No more mosques!

554
00:27:30,189 --> 00:27:31,909
No more mosques! No more mosques!

555
00:27:34,829 --> 00:27:37,549
No more mosques! No more mosques!
No more mosques! No more mosques...

556
00:27:39,989 --> 00:27:41,989
Muslim paedos off our streets!

557
00:27:42,069 --> 00:27:44,549
Muslim paedos off our streets...

558
00:27:44,629 --> 00:27:46,629
I've connected with the zeitgeist,
Robyn.

559
00:27:46,709 --> 00:27:49,029
I mean, how often can you say that?

560
00:27:49,109 --> 00:27:51,029
You were talking about mouldy peas.

561
00:27:51,109 --> 00:27:56,829
Regular guest slots on LBC, reality
TV... a column on the Mail Online.

562
00:27:56,909 --> 00:28:00,069
Muslim paedos off our streets!

563
00:28:00,149 --> 00:28:01,429
PHONE RINGS

564
00:28:01,509 --> 00:28:03,309
OMG, it's me agent.

565
00:28:03,389 --> 00:28:04,949
Hey, lovely, talk to me.

566
00:28:05,029 --> 00:28:07,269
Oh, my God. What did they say?

567
00:28:07,349 --> 00:28:09,749
I can't hear you, I'm at this thing.

568
00:28:09,829 --> 00:28:12,389
LOUD CHANTING CONTINUES

569
00:28:16,709 --> 00:28:18,349
MULTIPLE CAMERA CLICKS

570
00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:25,949
Uh, wh... why are you doing this?

571
00:28:26,029 --> 00:28:28,069
What do you hope to achieve?

572
00:28:28,149 --> 00:28:29,989
Piss off, mate.

573
00:28:30,069 --> 00:28:33,589
I know you feel angry,
and you feel confused,

574
00:28:33,669 --> 00:28:37,869
and the world is a terrifying,
scary place right now,

575
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:41,389
and when the world feels like that,
all we want to do is lock the doors

576
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:43,869
and protect ourselves from what's
on the other side.

577
00:28:43,949 --> 00:28:47,709
But the truth is, what is
on the other side of those doors is

578
00:28:47,789 --> 00:28:51,029
the only thing that can save us,
each other.

579
00:28:51,109 --> 00:28:52,869
We are not enemies.

580
00:28:52,949 --> 00:28:55,189
You're looking in the wrong
direction.

581
00:28:55,269 --> 00:28:56,749
HE SCREAMS EXCITEDLY

582
00:28:56,829 --> 00:28:58,629
Doctor Who! Semi-regular.

583
00:28:58,709 --> 00:29:01,549
..they want you to be angry.

584
00:29:01,629 --> 00:29:03,389
They want you to be numb.

585
00:29:03,469 --> 00:29:06,629
They want you to blame those below,
because while you're busy

586
00:29:06,709 --> 00:29:09,949
looking down, it is those above who
are stealing from you.

587
00:29:10,029 --> 00:29:13,349
Stealing your rights, stealing your
liberties, they are stealing

588
00:29:13,429 --> 00:29:16,149
your privacy and they are stealing
your peace of mind.

589
00:29:16,229 --> 00:29:19,749
They are stealing your compassion
and your communities.

590
00:29:19,829 --> 00:29:23,829
But let me tell you, it is only
as a global community that we can

591
00:29:23,909 --> 00:29:26,909
beat the existential threat that we
all face.

592
00:29:26,989 --> 00:29:30,869
That's it. We don't make the world
better by looking down.

593
00:29:30,949 --> 00:29:33,589
We make the world better by
looking up. Hm?

594
00:29:35,869 --> 00:29:37,549
Brown man get out.

595
00:29:37,629 --> 00:29:38,949
Ha-ha. Brown man get out.

596
00:29:39,029 --> 00:29:40,669
PEOPLE CHANT Brown man get out.

597
00:29:40,749 --> 00:29:43,829
Brown man get out.
Brown man get out.

598
00:29:43,909 --> 00:29:46,989
Brown man get out!
Brown man get out...

599
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:50,909
Marmalade.

600
00:29:50,989 --> 00:29:52,589
SHE GASPS

601
00:29:54,349 --> 00:29:56,429
SHOUTING

602
00:29:58,789 --> 00:30:01,989
INDISTINCT SHOUTING

603
00:30:08,469 --> 00:30:09,949
Broken nose. Three broken ribs.

604
00:30:10,029 --> 00:30:12,589
Bruising to the arms, face and head.

605
00:30:12,669 --> 00:30:16,109
Eight broken fingers
and a ruptured spleen.

606
00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:21,749
He's predicted to win the
mayoral elections by a landslide.

607
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:30,189
Do you know that polar bears can
smell a seal from over a mile away?

608
00:30:30,269 --> 00:30:34,589
They can even smell it through
three feet of ice.

609
00:30:36,709 --> 00:30:41,229
I'm not sure exactly what
happened here,

610
00:30:41,309 --> 00:30:45,989
but if there is a problem
in my office,

611
00:30:46,069 --> 00:30:48,349
I will smell it...

612
00:30:48,429 --> 00:30:51,549
..and I will deal with it.

613
00:30:51,629 --> 00:30:52,949
Leave.

614
00:30:55,829 --> 00:30:57,029
Robyn.

615
00:31:00,389 --> 00:31:04,149
If there's something you want
to tell me, I will listen.

616
00:31:04,229 --> 00:31:05,869
I am invested in you.

617
00:31:10,069 --> 00:31:11,389
No.

618
00:31:15,269 --> 00:31:18,229
Cleaning chocolate off his balls
with hand sanitiser

619
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:19,989
and a used tissue.
LAUGHTER

620
00:31:20,069 --> 00:31:23,909
Well, he was due on stage to
present in, like, five minutes,

621
00:31:23,989 --> 00:31:26,509
and Caroline would have killed me
if he hadn't...

622
00:31:26,589 --> 00:31:28,509
Oh.

623
00:31:28,589 --> 00:31:31,509
I'm envious of you. You know that?

624
00:31:31,589 --> 00:31:34,789
I wanted to do what you do.

625
00:31:34,869 --> 00:31:38,229
Travel, have a career,
an exciting life.

626
00:31:39,589 --> 00:31:42,469
But... I had you.

627
00:31:43,829 --> 00:31:45,309
I was a baby.

628
00:31:45,389 --> 00:31:47,309
I was a firework.

629
00:31:47,389 --> 00:31:50,469
White fire. Everyone wanted me.

630
00:31:50,549 --> 00:31:53,149
Mm-hm. And then...

631
00:31:53,229 --> 00:31:56,989
SHE CLICKS FINGERS
..just like that, decision was made.

632
00:31:57,069 --> 00:31:59,389
It was his parents who made us

633
00:31:59,469 --> 00:32:02,789
go through with it, you know,
the marriage.

634
00:32:05,109 --> 00:32:07,669
I'm sorry I was such a
horrible mother.

635
00:32:08,869 --> 00:32:12,269
Mom. I just wasn't built for it,
you know.

636
00:32:15,549 --> 00:32:17,109
I hated it.

637
00:32:17,189 --> 00:32:20,389
Not you. God no, I loved you.

638
00:32:20,469 --> 00:32:23,629
God, I loved you, and little Ruthy.

639
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:24,749
I...

640
00:32:26,389 --> 00:32:27,869
I hated it.

641
00:32:29,869 --> 00:32:34,029
There was never very much of me
in the first place,

642
00:32:34,109 --> 00:32:37,789
motherhood just took it all.

643
00:32:37,869 --> 00:32:41,389
Before I realised,
it was like I didn't exist any
more.

644
00:32:42,749 --> 00:32:44,069
Anyway, I don't know.

645
00:32:44,149 --> 00:32:45,589
SHE CHUCKLES

646
00:32:45,669 --> 00:32:49,709
Life is exhausting
if you're not very good at it.

647
00:32:49,789 --> 00:32:52,429
Nobody is. That's not true. You are.

648
00:32:52,509 --> 00:32:54,189
You are good at it.

649
00:32:54,269 --> 00:32:56,789
You have no idea how good at it
you are.

650
00:32:56,869 --> 00:32:59,869
You were better at it at
12 years old than I ever was.

651
00:32:59,949 --> 00:33:01,429
Well, kind of had to be.

652
00:33:03,669 --> 00:33:06,069
Maybe that was my little gift
to you.

653
00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:14,149
Hey, so, I was thinking, maybe you
could fly back to London with me.

654
00:33:14,229 --> 00:33:18,109
You could be there for Ruth,
help take care of Kelly.

655
00:33:18,189 --> 00:33:23,309
You'd have to crash with me and Sam,
but, change might do you good.

656
00:33:23,389 --> 00:33:25,029
That would be wonderful.

657
00:33:29,989 --> 00:33:32,909
Still can't believe I'm
a grandmother.

658
00:33:32,989 --> 00:33:34,869
How the hell did that happen?

659
00:33:35,949 --> 00:33:36,989
I love you, Mom.

660
00:33:38,229 --> 00:33:40,989
Baby, I love you.

661
00:33:41,949 --> 00:33:44,109
You're my little sunflower.

662
00:33:44,189 --> 00:33:45,709
Hm-hm.

663
00:33:49,893 --> 00:33:57,893
Gabriel? I thought
we were meeting at the restaurant.

664
00:34:01,733 --> 00:34:05,533
If this is some kind of weird
surprise, you'd best know that

665
00:34:05,613 --> 00:34:07,173
I don't always react well.

666
00:34:07,253 --> 00:34:11,173
My mum threw a surprise party for my
11th, and when they jumped out

667
00:34:11,253 --> 00:34:13,653
from behind the curtains
I punched my grandad in the face.

668
00:34:14,973 --> 00:34:16,173
In here.

669
00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:21,253
Wow.

670
00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:24,173
Howard Hughes, as I live
and breathe.

671
00:34:24,253 --> 00:34:27,653
Are you going to say hello?

672
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:29,213
Or look at me?

673
00:34:30,173 --> 00:34:31,533
I'm sorry, I'm just...

674
00:34:34,733 --> 00:34:36,013
Honey.

675
00:34:37,693 --> 00:34:41,053
Um... I got the new dress you
requested.

676
00:34:41,133 --> 00:34:44,893
Is that one of the ones
I picked out? I went off-piste.

677
00:34:44,973 --> 00:34:46,453
You like? Sure.

678
00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:52,013
Are you going to be wearing that to
the restaurant? It's just that

679
00:34:52,093 --> 00:34:56,213
the whole Shia LaBeouf, haven't
showered in a week, took a dump

680
00:34:56,293 --> 00:34:59,893
in a bag and sold it on eBay thing
is just a little... 2014.

681
00:34:59,973 --> 00:35:01,893
I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of
a crisis.

682
00:35:01,973 --> 00:35:04,133
I'm not gonna be able to make
it to the restaurant.

683
00:35:04,213 --> 00:35:06,973
I'm sorry? It's the prototype.

684
00:35:07,053 --> 00:35:09,973
I've been going over these
schematics again and again,

685
00:35:10,053 --> 00:35:11,813
and, and, and they don't work.

686
00:35:11,893 --> 00:35:12,893
They won't work.

687
00:35:12,933 --> 00:35:14,613
I've got to get the weight down,

688
00:35:14,693 --> 00:35:17,173
and if I don't get the weight down,
everything here is fucked.

689
00:35:17,253 --> 00:35:18,453
I have a similar crisis about

690
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,813
getting the weight down pre-Ibiza
every year.

691
00:35:20,893 --> 00:35:23,613
The key is no carbs for a week
and bring a one-piece.

692
00:35:23,693 --> 00:35:26,013
Eve, this isn't a joke.
I cleared all my plans.

693
00:35:26,093 --> 00:35:28,413
I didn't ask you to cancel
your plans.

694
00:35:28,493 --> 00:35:31,413
Oh, come on, don't ask me
to choose between you and my work.

695
00:35:31,493 --> 00:35:33,733
I'm not. You know how important
this is to me.

696
00:35:33,813 --> 00:35:36,253
I'm trying to create something
truly innovative here,

697
00:35:36,333 --> 00:35:37,893
and everybody wants me to fail.

698
00:35:37,973 --> 00:35:40,893
The press, well,
they think I'm crazy.

699
00:35:40,973 --> 00:35:44,093
Nobody seems to understand how
important this work is but me.

700
00:35:44,173 --> 00:35:45,773
OK. Look, you're clearly otherwise

701
00:35:45,853 --> 00:35:49,213
occupied, so I think that I will
just... No, no, wait.

702
00:35:49,293 --> 00:35:52,573
I said I couldn't make it to the
restaurant, but...

703
00:36:00,653 --> 00:36:03,253
Why is there a gang of Japanese
people hiding in your kitchen?

704
00:36:03,333 --> 00:36:06,853
I figured, since I couldn't make
it to the restaurant,

705
00:36:06,933 --> 00:36:09,213
I would bring the restaurant to us.

706
00:36:17,773 --> 00:36:19,453
Gabriel, this is insane. No.

707
00:36:19,533 --> 00:36:21,213
This is Yoshikasu san.

708
00:36:21,293 --> 00:36:23,973
He is perhaps the finest sushi chef
in the Western hemisphere.

709
00:36:24,053 --> 00:36:25,933
He and his team have elegantly

710
00:36:26,013 --> 00:36:28,973
prepared tonight's dinner,
just for you.

711
00:36:29,053 --> 00:36:33,573
So, please, take a seat,
enjoy the view, have some sake,

712
00:36:33,653 --> 00:36:36,853
and I will be with you as soon
as I am done.

713
00:36:36,933 --> 00:36:38,173
OK?

714
00:37:04,533 --> 00:37:06,853
So, you've been here before?

715
00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:08,373
No, I haven't.

716
00:37:08,453 --> 00:37:10,453
It's a really nice treat, thank you.

717
00:37:10,533 --> 00:37:13,733
Sounds like you're out every night
anyway, from what you're saying.

718
00:37:13,813 --> 00:37:17,133
I don't know where you find the
money to be eating out all the time.

719
00:37:17,213 --> 00:37:19,973
Pret a Manger is not eating out,
Mum. It is to me.

720
00:37:20,053 --> 00:37:22,293
Let her live her life, Linda.

721
00:37:22,373 --> 00:37:23,933
You're only young once.

722
00:37:25,893 --> 00:37:29,613
So, have you seen much of this
Craig?

723
00:37:29,693 --> 00:37:31,453
We broke up, remember? I told you.

724
00:37:31,533 --> 00:37:34,093
Oh, well, I'm sure there's another
handsome young chap

725
00:37:34,173 --> 00:37:35,453
just around the corner, eh?

726
00:37:35,533 --> 00:37:38,173
I'm actually just really
happy on my own at the moment.

727
00:37:38,253 --> 00:37:40,653
Hope you're not on those apps.
Mum, I'm 25.

728
00:37:40,733 --> 00:37:42,413
I appreciate that.

729
00:37:42,493 --> 00:37:44,613
All I'm saying is,
you want to be careful.

730
00:37:44,693 --> 00:37:47,693
I was a magnet for lesbians
when I was your age.

731
00:37:50,693 --> 00:37:52,773
I was, um, wondering if you've any

732
00:37:52,853 --> 00:37:55,213
plans to come back up and stay
for a bit?

733
00:37:55,293 --> 00:37:58,133
I mean, your room is just sitting
there how you left it.

734
00:37:58,213 --> 00:38:00,349
You know I work every day.
By the time I get up to yours

735
00:38:00,373 --> 00:38:02,709
I'd have to turn back round again
and leave. Yeah, well, it would

736
00:38:02,733 --> 00:38:05,773
just be nice to see our daughter,
that's all. You're seeing her now.

737
00:38:09,093 --> 00:38:10,693
What's going on?

738
00:38:12,493 --> 00:38:14,333
Your father's cancer has come back.

739
00:38:14,413 --> 00:38:16,973
What do you mean? I thought
they got it all out.

740
00:38:18,053 --> 00:38:19,453
They did.

741
00:38:20,933 --> 00:38:22,413
It's come back.

742
00:38:29,133 --> 00:38:30,613
I'm so sorry.

743
00:38:37,813 --> 00:38:39,293
MELODY SOBS

744
00:38:39,373 --> 00:38:40,813
Here. I'm sorry.

745
00:38:48,533 --> 00:38:50,293
Hey.

746
00:38:50,373 --> 00:38:53,613
Sorry I'm late,
it's just had a bit of a day at...

747
00:38:53,693 --> 00:38:55,693
Hey.

748
00:38:55,773 --> 00:38:58,293
Sam, what are you doing here?
He told me your news.

749
00:38:58,373 --> 00:38:59,573
Sorry, I assumed that...

750
00:38:59,653 --> 00:39:04,013
That you would have told me,
but of course you didn't.

751
00:39:04,093 --> 00:39:06,573
Look, I just want to apologise for
the other night.

752
00:39:06,653 --> 00:39:10,773
You caught me off-guard, you know,
I was hurting, I was angry.

753
00:39:10,853 --> 00:39:12,093
I don't think I really realised

754
00:39:12,133 --> 00:39:14,773
just how fucked up things had
gotten between us. OK.

755
00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:18,133
Look, Rob, I haven't forgiven you.
OK? That's something that you

756
00:39:18,213 --> 00:39:21,573
need to earn and that we can both
work on, you know, but this baby...

757
00:39:21,653 --> 00:39:24,013
No. Rob, this is what we both
wanted, and... No.

758
00:39:24,093 --> 00:39:26,973
Maybe everything that happened...
No, you're too late, Sam.

759
00:39:28,693 --> 00:39:31,253
You're too late. What do you mean?

760
00:39:31,333 --> 00:39:33,773
Why, what happened?

761
00:39:33,853 --> 00:39:36,293
Rob. What did you do? Robyn.

762
00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:37,693
Rob...

763
00:40:13,453 --> 00:40:16,253
SHE SHRIEKS

764
00:40:20,373 --> 00:40:22,173
SHE SOBS

765
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,533
VIBRATING

766
00:40:26,693 --> 00:40:28,773
VIBRATING CONTINUES

767
00:40:40,773 --> 00:40:43,013
VIBRATING CONTINUES

768
00:40:47,213 --> 00:40:49,373
VIBRATING CONTINUES

769
00:40:51,293 --> 00:40:53,373
SHE SOBS

770
00:40:54,533 --> 00:40:57,573
I think it just captured what
a lot of people were thinking.

771
00:40:57,653 --> 00:41:00,093
There's a lot of people out there
who look around them

772
00:41:00,173 --> 00:41:02,813
and feel that England just
isn't their country any more.

773
00:41:02,893 --> 00:41:04,693
That doesn't make them fascists.

774
00:41:04,773 --> 00:41:06,253
Their grandparents fought the

775
00:41:06,333 --> 00:41:08,413
fascists to defend this great
island.

776
00:41:08,493 --> 00:41:10,813
All they want to do now is
defend it again.

777
00:41:10,893 --> 00:41:13,813
Can you turn that off, please?
Depressing, isn't it?

778
00:41:16,253 --> 00:41:19,173
You staying in the hotel? Uh-huh.

779
00:41:20,253 --> 00:41:21,613
Gonna buy me a drink?

780
00:41:23,133 --> 00:41:24,293
OK.

781
00:41:25,653 --> 00:41:28,853
Double Grey Goose, rocks,
three limes, please.

782
00:41:44,053 --> 00:41:48,493
Blush by Wolf Alice

783
00:41:53,973 --> 00:41:55,173
Having a good night?

784
00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:57,813
Peachy.

785
00:42:27,333 --> 00:42:28,733
Can I see your room?

786
00:42:48,013 --> 00:42:51,173
Brooklyn Bridge, please,
and take the long way.

787
00:43:15,813 --> 00:43:17,933
SHE SNIFFLES