-Who wants park-colored pancakes? -I do.
-Here you go. -I'll still eat it.
Owen, please don't throw food at our children.
Sorry. Sorry, I'm just a little excited this morning.
-Because of your conference thingy? -It's not just a thingy.
It's the annual New York City Park Manager's Conference.
New York City has over 1,700 parks.
Once a year,
all of the park managers gather at a mid-level hotel chain.
It's a great day of speeches, friendship, and sharing stories about pigeon control.
So, are you excited to see your old crew?
Yep! Gannon, Ned and Alonzo.
We've all been so busy, we haven't had time to catch up.
But today's the day we'll finally get the band back together.
Owen and Gannon and Ned and Alonzo met back in the day
at Flushing Meadows Park in Queens,
working together as newbies on the park scene.
They used to make up games Like "speed rake" and "name that scat"
Owen was a scat master
He could always tell When it was mouse, not bat
They even shared a cat
Owen on Monday, Tuesday
Alonzo on Wednesday, Thursday
Gannon on Friday, Saturday
Ned on Sunday
One time, they coached a sewer rat Through labor and got scabies
Worth it
Now every time they see a rat They wonder if it's one of their babies
Maybe
At one point, they all dated Different people named Adrian
And the only one who married one Was Gannon
In the park that he managed
And the guys were his best men
Singing in four-park harmony
In four-park harmony
Singing in four-park harmony
Four-park harmony
The days were long And their bond grew strong
And every night Together they would run
When it came to best friends They were the best
Better than me and Owen even
And they all agreed To go get matching tattoos
Of a park ranger badge on their butts
But Ned went first And the pain was too much
Told the tattooer to stop At first touch of the needle
Well, it just made a dot
So, the other guys all got Matching dot tattoos too
In time, they all moved up the ranks And each got their own parks
Now, after all these years They're back together
It feels like they never were apart
And they're singing In four-park harmony
Singing in four-park harmony
Four-park harmony
-Now they're singing, yeah -Four-park harmony
-Like no time has passed
Four-park harmony Four-park harmony
-Harmony -Four-park harmony
-They're the park top brass, singing
Four-park harmony
Four-park harmony!
Friendship.
And now, not only do they run all their own parks,
they also serve together on the Park Manager Executive Committee,
which is like the supreme court of park managers,
but without the powdered wigs.
And your mom is one lucky lady. She's coming with me this year.
Marriage, so, you guys are gonna be hanging with Aunt Abby today.
Pancakes and Aunt Abby?
This is a perfect day.
You're lucky you're coming. You'll get to witness my little prank.
The guys got me so good last year, so this year I'm giving it back to them big-time.
What'd they do? Bad-mouth a bird?
Well, we all agreed to sneak out of last year's conference to go get a beer,
but they gave me the address of a cupcake shop instead.
I can't wait to be an adult so I can get why that's funny.
So, this year, I'm gonna show up with this box of week-old cupcakes.
I can't wait to watch them eat these.
Wow, you guys really know how to party, huh?
Wait, those cupcakes have been sitting in our house for a week?
Yep, yep. Pretty stale.
You monster!
Wait. Oh, my gosh. It's the mayor. Hello?
Owen, mayor I have your attention, please? This is the mayor.
I was talking to the Park Commissioner about your "I Heart The Park" program,
-and she's intrigued. -That's great!
Well, somebody's excited.
But she thought it would be wise for you to first get approval
from the Park Manager Executive Committee.
Well, that will not be a problem.
I happen to serve on the committee myself and know the other members quite well.
-I'm actually seeing them today. -Oop-- Shoot.
I need to find some tape. Gotta go.
Helen, what do you see?
Some dandruff, a lot of split ends, a little bit of popcorn--
Not my head. The floor.
I see the floor.
Exactly. When was the last time you had the floors professionally polished?
I think it was the time you fired our floor polisher for using our toilet.
Well, get him back.
I'm heading to the hotel spa to get a corn removed from my pinkie toe.
And I want these floors shiny
by the time I'm done.
Okay, kids. Talk to me like I've never lived in New York before,
and tell me what you'd like to do today.
We could go try the $1,000 burrito at that YouTube guy's restaurant.
Should we take a helicopter tour?
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have said anything you wanna do
because your Aunt Abby might be a little low on cash at the moment.
But once I get a job, we can do all those things, I promise.
I just need to clear a whole day so I can apply all over the city.
-Why can't that be today? -You guys would do that with me?
Of course! There's "help wanted" signs on every block.
-We're gonna turn you into a working girl. -Doesn't mean what you think, but thanks.
The first part of the day is the speakers.
This year, we have "The Wonderful World of Wastewater,"
"Thank You Very Mulch" and "Worms of Endearment."
There's a barbecue for lunch.
Gannon, Ned and Alonzo! It's cupcake time!
Okay, while you do that, I'm gonna check out the breakfast spread
before my nap-- I mean, before the very exciting speeches.
Glad I'm here.
Hey, check it out. Welcome cupcakes. Damn it, I love this conference!
Well, no sign of the golden boy yet. We're still in the clear.
You mean, Golden Owen.
Maybe he got stuck at his beloved Central Park, since it's so important.
That guy doesn't know what it's like to manage a real park.
Yeah. Last week I had more sofas dumped in my park than visitors.
You know, it's too bad, 'cause he used to be cool.
If we see him, just try not to engage.
All right, enough about him. I'm about to eat this cupcake.
Nope, this thing's nasty.
Let's see. Job, job. Looking for a job for my aunt.
-Do you know how to do LASIK? -I do not. But I have played laser tag.
A family-run funeral home.
We'll call that plan B.
Let's narrow this down. What kind of experience do you have?
Tons! I worked at a women's clothing store called Cutie 21,
I waitressed at Delicio's all through college
and I was a receptionist at Maxine Jackson's Waxing Wagon for a summer.
Remember, this is New York.
When you apply for a job, they're looking to see if you have that killer instinct.
Give me your best killer face.
There it is.
Well, the good news is I only had to bite into three Danishes to find raspberry.
The bad news is some woman mistook me for the manager of Drumgoole Plaza.
She kept calling me Bev. So, I guess I'm Bev now.
Wait, are you okay?
Not really. When I was hiding to prank the guys,
I heard them calling me "Golden Owen" behind my back.
I guess they think I don't have to work that hard and that I'm full of myself.
No, Owen. I'm sure they didn't mean it.
They did, Paige.
I just don't understand what happened.
Sure, we haven't hung out in a while, but we email about stuff all the time.
-Okay. Could I maybe see those emails? -Here.
-Yeah, it's not great. -What's not great?
Well, most of the emails are from you, and they're all about Central Park.
That can't be true.
"Record recycling day at Central Park. $20,000 anonymous donation. What!"
Those were emails about how the park set a one-day record for recycling
and got an anonymous donation for $20,000, and then--
Yeah, no, I get it.
But it looks like nobody replied, so then you wrote a follow-up email that says,
"Making sure you guys got my emails,"
and then Alonzo wrote back one word, "Yep."
That's just Alonzo.
Owen, I know these guys have been your friends for a long time,
but they might not still see your friendship the way you do.
Well, I had no idea they felt that way. Oh, no.
I just remembered I need them to sign off on my "I Heart The Park" campaign today.
How am I supposed to do that if they don't even wanna be near me?
Well, apparently that's because you only just wanna talk about Central Park.
So, maybe talk about something else?
Okay. So, talk to them about their parks?
I'd just stay away from parks in general.
Sweetie, to them you're Golden Owen.
Well, what do we talk about?
Their lives. Their interests.
Do they have any hobbies? What are they into these days?
Bottled beer?
Also, Gannon is definitely a big fan of sports guys.
Yep. Sports guys.
And Alonzo broke both his arms one time. That's not a hobby, though.
Okay, I think you're gonna need some help.
Are you sure? It's your first conference. I want you to have the full experience.
Oh, no. As much as I wanna watch a sexy-slug slideshow,
I think it's more important that I help you.
I'm a reporter. I'll research the guys and I'll feed you information.
That could actually work. I love your redheaded brain.
I'm all finished up.
Those floors are as shiny as a Long Island prom dress.
-Can you see your face? -Every pore.
Thanks for coming on such short notice.
-I'm glad there are no hard feelings. -None at all.
Are you-- None?
Who hasn't been fired by Bitsy Brandenham?
Seriously, no hard feelings.
You're the best, Mauricio.
Wow. Shiny.
Wait, what's happening?
Mauricio lied. He did have hard feelings.
Whoa, Nellie!
Nope.
Touché, Mauricio. Touché. Help!
There they are. What am I gonna say?
Okay. So far I've found out
that Alonzo posts a lot of photos of his heritage farm upstate
and a lot of photos of his baby nephew. #Walter.
And Gannon is very into his saltwater aquarium.
Aquariums and heritage farms?
I don't really know anything about either of those things.
It's okay. I'll sit next to you and slip you little notes.
That'll never work.
It will. I dated a guy for a whole year of high school like this.
You dated a guy for a year in high school?
Yes. He was so cute. We'll talk about that later. Go!
-Owen! -Tillertown!
-The O-ster! -Hey, guys!
-I brought Paige with me this year. -Hi!
-I told you she was real. -Good to finally meet you.
Paige! You look just like your picture in the paper. Except not in black and white.
My wife refuses to come.
You guys should sit with us. Now you can catch up. Sit, sit! Have a seat.
Great, yeah. Great.
So, Owen, how's the big CP?
Who cares about work, right? Snooze!
To be honest, I've been focused on other things.
-What kind of other things? -You know, d-- like--
-Aquariums. -Right. Yeah.
I'm thinking about getting a porcupine puffer fish.
I have a porcupine puffer fish.
Yep. Yeah. They're so cute with all those needles.
I didn't know you were an aquarium guy.
I'm not yet. But I sure would love to be, someday.
Well, let me know when you wanna dive in.
I can give you all kinds of advice.
It's starting!
And now, please welcome the state's leading worm expert, Theresa Chin!
All right, I'm gonna fill you in on the dirt.
"Help wanted"? Well, "help" has arrived.
-Let's go get you a job, Aunt Abby. -And me some ice cream!
These are ice cream flavors?
Cacio e pepe? Popcorn with hot sauce? What the fresh hell is this place?
Hello. May I please have an application?
I own this place. I am the application.
Great. Well, I have tons of customer service experience and--
Is it ice cream experience?
No, not exactly, but--
What are your favorite flavors? Top three. Go! Say them.
Let's see. Cookies and cream, strawberry cheesecake, coffee--
-Uh-uh, incorrect. -Incorrect? How can I be incorrect if--
If you don't know, you're not Scoops, I Did It Again material.
Okay, then. Thank you for your open mind.
Come on, kids.
And just for your information, jerk chicken is not a flavor of ice cream.
All right. Maybe if I backstroke.
Damn it. Elevator.
Wait, no. That's Bitsy. Bitsy. No, don't come in!
What? You don't tell me what to do. I tell you-- Helen!
What in the world?
Well, don't just lay there like a turd in a litter box. Get us out of here.
I can't. They'll just have to find us when they bring back the furniture.
Are you insane? I can't lie here all night!
-Well, you're free to leave. -Damn it!
So, Owen, break any records at Central Park lately?
Who knows? Sure wish I could take a break though.
Am I right? Must be nice to have that farm upstate.
That's odd. I don't remember telling you about my farm.
Oh, yeah, you told me, with your mouth-- Words. It's a heritage farm, right?
Yeah. It's my happy place.
Growing food that doesn't taste like it came from a factory farm.
-But I'm probably boring you. -No, not at all!
I actually love talking about farming heritages.
Do you know what I love most about it?
Argh, one second. Sorry, one bar.
-Hey, Bev! There you are. -I'm actually not Bev. Really--
You are so funny.
Hey, have you tried the brownies over at the dessert table yet?
-No, but that's okay. I'll get some later. -Come on, they're going fast!
-Sorry! -No, you can't leave me.
Owen, you okay?
You were saying, what you love most about heritage farming is…
It's… Bulls. Love those heritage bulls.
-What do you love about them? -Riding them.
-Wow. -Riding the bulls? You ride bulls?
Yeah. Yeah. I just jump right on top of 'em and ride. Yeehaw!
Hi. I was just wondering if the position is still open?
Do you have boutique experience?
Yes, I do. No, yeah.
I worked at Cutie 21 in Oshkosh, Wisconsin,
which had a lot of the same clothes as this place. Just two years later.
Well, do you have any special skills?
Sure, name 'em. But also, what do you mean?
Special skills.
Like, for instance, Dalton's a ballet dancer
and Mariana over there created her own cryptocurrency called "Money-ana."
Renfro has made five documentaries and has been the subject of two others.
And Jamal is famous in another country. I'm not sure which one.
Okay. I haven't done anything like that,
but I've got all kinds of other skills.
I can dress a mannequin Before you even look at your watch
I can fold these tricky blouses Even though they come with a crotch
I can hang these earrings Onto every hook
I can make a customer smile With one friendly look
See?
I'll bowl you over With my keen eye for sizing
I've got an expertise For pants organizing
Bet I could turn this boutique Into a palace
With my many talents My many talents
-That's her being humble. -It's true.
She can bend her elbow backward
She can hide a coin in your ear
Nimble on a unicycle
Also an adept puppeteer
She's a storyteller And she takes requests
She remembers every dog's name
Which makes her the best
So, let me impress you With my customer service
I've never shoplifted So please don't be nervous
If there's a problem I will rise to the challenge
With my many talents My many talents
"To be eligible for a return, your item must be unused
and in the same condition you received it.
After 50 days we can only provide store credit with any returned item
with proof of purchase." Have a blessed day.
See how I wowed you With my memorization?
I never call out sick Or take a vacation
Read one accounting book So know how to balance
With my many talents
I can pay for that if you give me the job.
My many talents
That went well.
Anyway. So, what about you, Ned? How's your life stuff?
-How's my life stuff? -Yeah. How's your life stuff?
Sorry, one second.
Owen. Owen.
Life stuff, you know. Like--
How's your pot habit?
What?
Pottery. I meant pottery.
Well, I'm still throwing, but only on the weekends.
-It's how I relax. -I love that. That's fascinating.
-Tell me more. -I mean, I just did.
But, boy, you sure are fascinated today, aren't you, Owen?
I'm just trying to catch up. We talk about work so much,
I just wanna get real with each other, you know?
Uh-huh. Yeah.
You know, it has been nice to be real with you today, Owen. For a change.
Okay?
It's just, you know what-- I'm just gonna say it.
Sometimes we feel like you got this big job at Central Park
and now it's all you ever wanna talk about.
But that's no excuse for how we've been treating you.
And talking about you behind your back. A lot.
I mean, at the end of the day, you're still our ol' pal, Owen.
We go way back and you're getting a puffer fish.
The truth is, maybe we were a little jealous of you,
and that's not fair. And we're sorry.
Wow, that's sweet. But actually, guys, maybe I'm the one who should apologize.
What do you say you let us make it up to you by buying you a beer?
Hey, Alonzo's favorite Western bar is right around the corner.
-That's a great idea. -I'm in.
Let me guess. Is it Prank's Western Bar and Cupcake Bakery?
Because I'm not falling for that again.
-Yeah. Sorry about that. -But honestly, Owen.
No pranks this time, just wanna hang. Like the good old days.
Yeah. Okay, let's do it.
I just need to find Paige. There she is.
Looks like she's going to town on those brownies.
I told you, Bev. It doesn't even taste like cricket flour.
Wait, what?
Look at that. Not a cupcake shop. They really like me.
I'm so glad you got to reconnect with your pals.
It looks like you're gonna get them to sign your "I Heart The Park" thingy.
-There's our guy, Mr. Bull Rider. -We signed you up, cowboy.
-Oh, no. -Can't wait to see you up there.
Uh-huh. Yep, it's gonna be fun.
My mother was right.
I'm gonna die flat on my back next to a worthless bag of bones.
Wait, hold on. I have an idea.
Are you going to let me start cutting off little pieces of you to eat
to keep me alive before help arrives?
What? No. I used to hustle pool back in Weehawken.
If I can push you just right, I should be able to bank you off those walls,
down the hall, and into my bathroom.
-Your bathroom? Gross. -It's really our only option.
Fine. But stay away from my face. It's my moneymaker.
I know what I'm doing.
Off the wall. Down the hall. Into the bathroom.
-Yes. -I'm in.
Now use the toilet phone to call for help.
No. First I'm gonna call that floor polish guy and fire him again.
Yep, great. I'll just wait here till you're done.
My leg. I heard it pop. Oh, no.
All right, Rodee-Owen. You're up next.
Okay. Guys, I wasn't completely honest with you today.
Earlier, I heard you were calling me "Golden Owen"
and I realized what you actually think of me.
And then I kind of exaggerated my interest
in aquariums and pottery and heritage farms,
because I was desperate to repair our friendship.
Owen. Wow. That means so much, buddy.
But I also need you guys to sign a waiver
for my Central Park "I Heart The Park" campaign. Today.
So let me get this straight. All of this was for your dumb park? Unbelievable.
No, I care about you as friends. But isn't it okay tha--
Owen, don't you realize how easy your job is compared to ours?
But it's not. It's really not.
I got 18,000 trees 18,000 piles of leaves
I got the sweatiest back of summertime
We're talking Fifty million sight-seeing
Big city lights-dreaming People who depending on me
And the mud on my boots It comes from kicking up truth
-I got so many critters, I got a zoo -I got so many critters, got a zoo
And no, I'm not a martyr Motivated born self-starter
Man, I'm working hard just like you
Working, working, working real hard
-When you're managing the Central Park -Central Park
-Working, working, working -Working, working, working real smart
We'll tell the family we'll be home after dark
-Yeah, we're working real hard -Working, working real hard
I've been working real hard
Where's the mud on your boots? Just trade 'em in for some shoes
Your biggest stress Is pitching marathon cups
You say you're working harder An alpaca's full-time barber
You'd better take a rest for a few
He thinks he's working Working, working real hard
He's managing the Central Park
He thinks he's working Working, working real smart
He'll tell the family He'll be home after dark
-Yeah, we're working real hard -Working real hard
Owen Tillerman, please report to the bull.
You know what, I'm gonna do this. I'm Owen Tillerman.
What level of difficulty would you like to set the bull at, partner?
The most difficulty.
But you have to make me a deal.
If I can ride that bull for the full eight seconds,
you all have to sign the waiver.
You got a deal, Golden.
Climb into bed with my shorts all torn Pull my bootstraps tight
Grab the bull by the horn
-Working, working, working real hard -Working, working
When you're managing the Central Park
My back. My butt.
No, that's your cutest part. But I'm-- Also, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine. Let's head home.
-Here you go. -Wait, you signed it?
Here's the thing, Owen. I think we've been wrong about you.
That was pretty impressive, and pretty dumb.
You should've seen yourself. That was so stupid.
-You tried to ride a bull. -We missed you, Owen. Really.
It was good to see the carefree guy you used to be is still alive and bucking.
We should get together more often
and not just wait for this conference each year.
-I'd like that. -I'm glad I came,
and that you guys all worked things out.
This actually went really well.
Yeah, really well.
Look who I found. It's the real Bev.
-You lied to me. -I never lied to you.
Wait, you thought I was her? That woman looks nothing like me.
-I see it. -Okay, I see it too.
A pleasure meeting you.
So sorry you didn't get the job. I would've hired you.
And who cares if you don't know how to samba with a mannequin?
This city is just so different than Oshkosh. I don't think I'm prepared.
There are millions of jobs here. The right one is out there for you.
Thanks.
You know what? Let's pop into this fancy hotel.
Let me buy you a round of Shirley Temples for your help.
-You don't have to ask me twice. -Hi, Ricky.
Good afternoon, Cole.
-Wait, they know you by name here? -It's a whole thing.
How hard do you guys think it is
to operate one of those construction cranes?
Lionel, I had my vacation approved months ago.
I'm sorry, but the Sapperstein wedding, Guthrie bat mitzvah
and Vaillancourt gender reveal gala don't care about your travel plans.
Well, you'll have to do it without these two hands,
because I'm going to Jamaica 'cause Jamaican me crazy.
-Oh, boy. -You look like you're in the weeds.
Well, my best server just quit and took his notepad with him
and I have no idea where these drinks go.
Table over there gets the martinis, seat three has extra olives.
That guy in the booth gets the scotch neat,
and the booth in the corner gets the two lagers
-and the gimlet with two limes. -Wow. You got skills.
Once a waitress, always a waitress, I guess.
And this guy right here is gonna walk if you don't drop his check.
And this customer right here needs a job.
-Let's see you on your feet. -Wait, seriously? Now?
Oh, my gosh. Okay. Great.
-Sorry, this smells like Jasper. -Tuna fish and cologne?
-Go, Aunt Abby. -Our natural born killer.
What? Is Abby gonna get a job at the Brandenham? Who knows?
Find out next time. Who am I kidding? She got it.
I got 18,000 trees 18,000 thousand piles of leaves
I got the sweatiest back of summertime
We're talking 50 million Sight-seeing, big city lights-dreaming
-People who depending on me -People who depending on me
-Working, working, working real hard -Working real hard
When you're managing the Central Park
-Working, working, working real smart -Working real smart
We'll tell the family We'll be home after dark
-Yeah, we're working -Working
-Real hard -Working, working, working real hard
-I been working real hard -Working, working, working real hard