Wherever you are in the world, we'll find you.
Money Candy. Let's go.
Girl, it's no mystery
Morning coffee
Yeah
Shining light
That's right
How does Min-Jun do that?
He probably learned that move when he studied abroad in Florence.
Also, he's classically trained in ballet and in samba and in being awesome.
Yeah, he is. Here comes my favorite part.
No, scratch that. All of it's my favorite.
Baby, I'm in love with you
Can't stop till you make it all right
Fill me up with your
I will find you
Gotta meet you now
I will find you
Gotta hold you now
I will find you
I love Money Candy!
One of our children was just injured, right?
That has to be a broken leg.
I think that's the sound of them just really loving Money Candy.
Okay, that might be a broken leg.
Come back
Magical
What I'd give to live In the second, minute
Baby, I'm in love with you
Can't stop till you make it all right
Fill me up with your
I will find you
Gotta meet you now
I will find you
Gotta hold you now
I will find you
Gotta hug you now
So I've got huge news.
Money Candy, the biggest K-pop group in the world,
is in New York City. I know!
They're performing at Madison Square Garden tonight,
and the whole city is a-titter, especially Molly and Cole.
It's not like they have tickets,
but knowing they're breathing the same air as Money Candy is exciting.
Okay, I just had a crazy idea.
-Breakfast pizza? -No.
What if we bought them tickets to the concert?
I'm pretty sure they're very, very, very expensive.
No, I know, but we've both just been so busy lately.
It'd be fun to surprise them.
And if we pull this off, we'd be like hero parents.
Just imagine their faces.
They're so happy, and their rooms are clean.
And they made us dinner. Okay, I'm in. Let's do it.
No, not again.
Abby.
Thank goodness it's just you. Come in.
Who were you expecting? Santa?
-Why would he be upset to see Santa? -Great point.
It's just the public bathrooms closest to the castle are out of order,
so people have been knocking all day and asking to pee.
So what's up, Abs? Why are you here?
I mean I'm fine-- It's fine you're here.
Are you returning my shoes you borrowed?
Nope, don't see them. That's okay.
My roommate DJ Hiney-- Can I have a bite of this?
Is having a friend over,
and there's literally not room for another person in our apartment.
We learned that the hard way when the Mandelbaums' granddaughter came.
Grandma, where are you?
-I'm over here. -I'm stuck.
Follow my voice.
I was wondering if I could hang with you and Owen this afternoon?
Oh, my God. They're listening to Money Candy?
Never mind, scratch that. I'm gonna hang with Molly and Cole. Bye!
Okay, so now we gotta get a ticket for her too.
Getting expensive. There go my custom orthotics.
Come on.
No, you may not pee in my family's home.
Okay.
Elwood, how we doing with the bathroom?
We're getting a lot of pee-ers dropping by.
Still clogged, boss.
Also, I dropped my wrench in the toilet, so I guess, more clogged?
Okay, just keep at it,
and don't drop anything else into it if you can.
I won't. Except for the walkie-talkie.
Can you hear me? It's so wet.
I'm in great shape. Look at me.
You're a peak physical specimen.
Shampagne, are you okay?
My God, you could've been squashed into a dogskin rug.
Yep, that'd be so awful.
Don't ever do that again. I can't lose you.
I mean, you ruined my favorite plant.
What's wrong with you?
And why would you eat an orchid
when Helen sous vides a filet mignon for you twice a day?
Yes, I don't just order a bologna sandwich from room service.
We have many more of these plants in housekeeping.
I'll replace it with a new one. You won't even notice.
They're basically clones.
Clones, you say?
Yes. That's what I just said.
Shush. What makes you think I was talking to you?
-This line is not short. -But it's totally worth it.
Right, we're amazing parents.
Wow. I didn't realize how cool they were.
They're like supes cool.
OMG, why am I talking like a teenager now?
Who's this one? And why does he have better hair than me?
No, he doesn't, sweetie.
You don't have to say that, Owen.
Okay, his hair is better, but he's probably not as good of a mom.
I gotta know about these guys.
Okay. That's Min-Jun Pak.
He's known as the best singer in the group.
And his favorite animal is the porcupine. Fun.
I feel like the kids might've told us about these guys.
Mom, Ki-Moon uses charcoal toothpaste. Isn't that cool?
Where's my backpack?
Did you know Min-Jun's favorite animal is a porcupine? Bye, Dad.
-What's wrong? -Did you know
that Min-Jun has a pet rabbit named Bunny Candy?
Okay, I found a breakdown of everyone's roles.
Min-Jun is the best singer.
B is the second-best singer.
Ki-Moon is the best rapper.
Bugs is the best dancer. And QT is the best looking.
That's a real role in the band?
And their driver's name is Craig. Craig the driver.
I could look at Ki-Moon's smile for days.
Are you pumped for the "C-Cert"? Is that what kids call concerts?
It's not, actually. But we are excited.
Tonight's gonna be our fifth time seeing them.
We flew in from Boise.
That's some serious dedication.
It's 'cause they're-- What's a reference old people get?
The Beatles plus Elvis? Or the automobile plus the baked potato?
I resent that, but helpful context.
-Man, it's a really catchy song. -Really catchy.
I think I'm gonna--
Try it, try it. It's really fun.
All right, I'll give it a shot.
Yeah. That was fun.
Are we Money Candy fans now?
Yay!
-Ow! Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. -Dance through it.
Money Candy cures all!
-Looks like we're next. -Get ready to make the kids' year.
Okay, people, I'm all out of pink light sticks
and medium shirts with Min-Jun's face on it,
but I got everything else,
including money made of candy and candy made of money.
-So what about you? What do you want? -Hon?
I'm not seeing any tickets for sale. I think this is the merch line.
No. This is the knockoff merch line. That's the official merch line.
Right, so which is the line to buy tickets then?
It's the one in your imagination.
I'm just playing, but seriously, there is no ticket line, sir.
Then how do people get tickets?
-They buy them online… -We can do that.
-…at 4:00 a.m… -Okay.
-…seven months ago. -I feel like you didn't need to pause.
While we're here, should we get the kids a T-shirt?
Okay, what do you want? I got all the guys' faces.
I got one with Ki-Moon's cat.
I got an in memoriam hoodie for QT's grandma. Rest in peace, grandma.
I like the one with the whole group. We'll take two.
That's a great choice. That'll be $225…
$225?
-…each. -Again with the pauses!
-Okay, how much is this key chain? -That's $99.
What's the cheapest thing you have?
Forty dollars for these nail clippers that say "Money Cand."
They're too small to fit the "y."
We'll take it.
-Don't spill it. Don't spill it. -Helen!
-I spilled it. -You're such a klutz.
You know what I've been thinking?
The selfishness of the poor?
Always. But look at this.
It really looks like my old plant.
It's a different plant, but it's the same plant.
Have you been dipping back into the absinthe?
I've decided I need an extra Shampagne,
in case the original Shampagne ever breaks.
So you want me to go to the puppy mill?
No, you monster. Puppy mills are terrible.
I'm going to do something much better.
-I'm getting him cloned. -What?
Yeah, this is Helen's worst nightmare
Another Shampagne Who would stand to inherit
Bitsy's estate before she does
Just a bunch of Shampagnes Rubbing their cute little tummies
All over Bitsy's monies
Okay, show starts in three hours.
Let's see what the "Money Fandies" are saying online about the concert.
I wanna put your phone so close to my face,
it feels like I'm actually there.
That doesn't make me feel so good.
Yeah. A real punch in the old gut.
It's DJ Hiney.
He wants to know if it's okay that his friend ate all my almond butter.
No! It's obviously not.
Is everything okay, Abby?
-Obviously not. -Is his friend allergic to almonds?
No, look.
-Are you kidding me? -What? Huh? What? Huh?
-Is that Min-Jun? -Yes, that's Min-Jun!
See, DJ Hiney and Min-Jun go way back.
They met at a festival in Busan when the group was just starting off.
Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-Wha-What's up?
Why didn't you tell me that someone from Money Candy was coming over?
You like their music, yes?
Yeah, yeah, I do. I do like their music. Everybody does!
Hi, Molly here. Abby's niece/ world's biggest Money Candy fan/
how could you do this to me? Sorry.
How long ago did Min-Jun leave? Do you know where he went?
I have to meet him.
He said he's going to meet up with some of his supercool, wussup bandmates
to look at the city before big show.
Could you call him and find out where they're going?
Or somehow stop him and trap him!
That's impossible. Money Candy is super privacy.
They have security up the shnorgin moogin'.
They even have faker decoys sometimes.
I only hear from Min-Jun when Min-Jun wants to hear from me.
You are doing the dishes for a month, Hiney. A month!
Man, I can't believe this.
I know. We almost kind of sort of got to meet Money Candy.
Okay, this may sound crazy, but what if we go look for them?
We all know the city. The kids know Money Candy.
We know Min-Jun's favorite animal. Porcupine. It feels possible.
Look at you. If we can pull this off, we'll truly be the best parents ever.
Okay, here's the deal.
We're gonna get out there and try to find Money Candy.
-How does that sound? -Really?
-Best parents ever. -We know.
Let's go!
All right, so how do we find them?
Here's what I'm thinking. Actually, I have no idea.
I just thought that by the time we ran out here
and I started talking it would come to me.
Look, we just have to think like Money Candy, okay?
If we were Money Candy…
-First of all, you'd need way better hair. -I know, sweetie, I know.
But if we were Money Candy and had a few hours to kill in New York,
-where would we go? -Maybe a bookstore?
I love checking out bookstores when I travel.
No, Dad. We're talking about what Money Candy would do,
not what you, a 50-year-old manager of a park, would do.
-Fifty? -Forty-nine?
-Fifty-four? -Why'd you go up?
Let's just go to some super cool places and see if we get lucky.
Shoe store. All right, spread out and see if you spot 'em.
Clear! They're not here. Let's move out!
Pizza place.
Clear. Damn that 'roni smells good.
Should we maybe grab something to go? No! Keep your head in the game, Abby.
-Hotel. -They are definitely staying here.
You can tell by how cool everything is.
-Look at the bell carts. -Follow my lead.
Hello, good miss. We're here to see my five cousins visiting from Korea.
Can I have a name, please?
Ki-Moon An.
We don't have anyone by that name.
They're probably using aliases.
This happens at the Brandenham all the time.
Do you have anyone by the name of Todd Spain?
-No, ma'am. -Ki-Moon Spain?
-Terrence Medallion? -French Fry?
Johan St. Cool?
I assure you, there is no one here by any of those names.
Pinocchio McGillicutty?
Oh, no, Bitsy, look. These couches are mauve.
I know how much you hate mauve. We should probably go home.
My God. You should clone somebody else to talk for you. So annoying.
Miss Brandenham? Welcome.
Thank you so much for your interest in the cloning process.
Her lab coat looks too clean. Like, maybe she's a fake scientist?
-Let's get out of here. -Shush.
Let's take a little toursie.
So as I'm sure you know, cloning your pet is like having an identical twin
that's born at a later date. And the process is really quite simple.
We take an eensy tissue sample from your baby.
Shampagne's not a baby. He's nine years old.
Red flag. She doesn't know what babies are.
-Shush. -We take the tissue sample
from your adult dog, do some science-y razzmatazz,
then we turn it into an embryo
and implant it into a sweet, surrogate doggy mama.
I'm sure you must have a very long waiting list.
-Yes. We certainly do. Years. -That's a shame.
However, if you're willing to pay a little bit extra,
you'll be able to cut the line.
Me likey cutting lines.
No, we love-- We do whatever we can to make our wealthy clients happy.
We work with only the best of the best, like yourself. I can't name names,
but one of our clients rhymes with "Schmarbra Schmeisand."
-Babs? Really? -Schmabs. Yeah.
Bitsy? Can I speak with you for a sec?
He's a one-of-a-kind individual
Just like fine art, keep the original
Ask a critic The difference is critical
'Cause we wouldn't own a print 'Cause it's pitiful
And you can copy his body for sure
But the thing you can't copy Is his personality
And the money you spent on his training To make him behave
Is like double my salary
Think about it, please
Might be a trapdoor Might not be as obedient as yours
New dog might snap in a bad storm
And making noise In apartments is bad form
A clone dog might bark At the night sky
If it soils your carpet I might die
It won't be Shampagne If he's untrained
If it's a clone Then it's sparkling white wine
In my mind, it's a question of value
I don't know if round two Of your hound will astound you
But don't figure it out When he's got his little mouth
On your thousand-dollar house shoes 'Cause it's just too late
It's too late at that point
No dang way, the real McCoy It don't grow that way
Everybody knows You can't clone Shampagne
Looks the same But that's no Shampagne
No ma'am, no dang way
The real McCoy don't grow that way
Everybody knows You can't clone Shampagne
Looks the same But that's no Shampagne
No ma'am, no dang way
The real McCoy don't grow that way
Everybody knows You can't clone Shampagne
The right reasons for the right reasons In the right season then it might be him
And it might be a skunk You might have a stink
It might be a ferret It might be a parrot, it might be a mink
Speaking of champagne, I need a drink
I've seen the movies You get a homunculus
It's gonna grow And it's gonna eat one of us
Let's both be honest You might be the one
Not to be rude but we've seen you run
There's someone's opinion We're missing
He whispered "I don't want a sibling"
He really can't look At the terms and conditions
He makes a good point I think we should listen
He doesn't wanna fight the group But it's twice the poop
And we know You don't like to scoop
That's his thesis If he had hands he would write the proof
You got the perfect version at home
You wanna bring this uncertainty home?
Be on the phone with emergency rooms
'Cause who knew you were allergic To clones?
Doggy breath is twice as hot
Now you get twice the shots Just to get another dog
As it goes on, he could be a little Hellspawn you don't even like a lot
Then you might want another one And another one
And then maybe a sister or brother one And then maybe a muscly buffer one
Then a buttered one Then you want to invent or discover one
And another one, and another one
And then maybe a spring Or a summer one
A scholarly one and a dumber one
And another one, and another one
-And a-- Huh? -Annoying scientist woman?
It's actually Ariana, but I love nicknames.
I'd like to clone my dog.
-Guess what? -No. I hate games.
We can fit you in today.
Three, two, and kicked out of the hotel.
I'll have you know that you have very good security.
Okay, so plan A did not work. That's fine. We can still do this, right?
I've been tracking social media, but I've got nothing.
No clue where they are.
But, I did come across some fun fan fiction
where Money Candy stops the White House from being blown up by aliens.
-Kinda like Independence Day. -Like what now?
Maybe I am 54.
Not helpful, Ki-Moon. Another cat picture?
But so schmoopy, look at those little whiskers.
Okay, let's check B's profile.
Shoot, just a throwback from their first concert.
How could he post a throwback at a time like this? Rude.
Just a selfie in some new shades from Min-Jun. Not helpful.
Look at the reflection in his glasses. Zoom in.
-Zooming. -Enhance.
-That's not a thing. -Wait.
-I know that tree. -You do?
-Yes, it's in Sheep Meadow. -Dad, yes!
Finally, that big, beautiful nature brain is paying off.
Finally?
Get excited, Miss Brandenham.
Not only are you about to open the door to endless Shampagnes…
-Oh, God. -…but all our clients love getting
to relive those adorable puppy years with each new clone.
I predict you're gonna get addicted to the cuteness high.
TM. We've trademarked that phrase.
Bitsy, do you really wanna go through with this?
Sure, they'll be cute little puppies born here in Brooklyn
that look exactly like Shampagne,
but this lady keeps talking about all her other clients.
Do you really wanna be just another picture on the wall,
smiling, holding her freaky science dog?
-You're right. -I think you might look back and regret--
Wait, I'm what?
Come, Shampagne, we're leaving.
And hopefully, someone won't be so talky on the way home.
Okay, team, we've got a situation.
Owen, don't tell me it's another Razor scooter gang.
I just can't scoot that fast.
Do you think they actually have razors? 'Cause that would be scary.
Stop guessing things, there's no time!
-Sorry, boss. -My bad.
Okay, stop apologizing.
I need you two to fan out and look for the K-pop band Money Candy.
Money Candy's here?
I love Money Candy.
I need you to radio me immediately if you spot 'em. Got it?
-Fran, you head to Bank Rock Bridge. -On it.
Elwood, I need you to swing by the castle and grab my wading boots
in case Money Candy's canoeing on the lake.
What about the bathroom, though? It's still clogged.
Nothing else matters right now! Go!
Where are you, Min-Jun? We're coming for you.
Sorry, that sounded creepy. I meant it in a fun way.
-Wait, what's all that screaming? -A murder?
Money Candy!
My God, we found them.
Thank you, guys. I can't believe it.
Is it my imagination, or is the air around them better?
No, you're totally right.
Smells like fresh strawberries and movie popcorn?
-I'm gonna remember this day forever. -Nice work.
Owen? I know you said nothing else matters right now,
but I think maybe somebody broke into your house.
What?
I saw someone going in. I ran away and now I'm hiding in a drainpipe,
but you might wanna go check on things.
-Oh, no. That's not good. -Dang, and we were so close.
Owen, let's go to the house
and yell at whoever is messing with the best damn day of this family's life.
-Yep. -Abby, you stay with the kids.
Make sure to get lots of photos so I can see their happy little faces.
Call us right after and tell us everything, okay? Everything.
All right, bye-bye. Sorry about the house.
Hope it's okay. Let's go!
Owen, come on.
Hey, I'm coming, I'm just extremely scared.
-Why are you so not scared? -Wait. Shh. I think someone's still here.
Taking off my shoe. Just in case.
I'm just gonna dial 9-1, so we're only one button away.
I dialed 9-1-1.
-Hanging up, hanging up. -I've got a plan.
Hello? Robbers? Anyone in here?
-That's your plan? -I didn't say it was a good plan.
You're tall. Can you see them? What's the sitch up there?
I can't tell. I think we need to start doing some light elbowing.
-Sorry. -Little elbow.
-Excuse me. -Watch out.
-Don't wanna get poked. -Wait.
I just realized I don't know what I'm gonna say.
Be cool. Let's just be cool, Molly, okay?
I can't believe we're this close to…
-Wait. You gotta be kidding me. -No!
-They're not Money Candy. -Nope. They're decoys.
Is anybody in here? This is our house.
Castle. It's more of a castle.
Anyway, we live here!
-Ki-Moon? -Min-Jun?
-Hey. 'Sup. -That's us.
I hope you don't mind we had to break into your house.
The bathrooms were out of order and we really had to pee.
Of course. It's a great place to pee.
I pee here every day.
We endorse five different drink companies. It can be a lot on the bladder.
-You get it. -Oh, my gosh, totally.
-You do? -No.
Hello?
Dad? Bad news. It was decoys. We still don't know where they are.
Yeah, about that. I might have an idea where they are.
-Don't even think about it. -Actually, scratch that.
Did I say I might have-- I meant I don't have an idea.
Good news, though. There was no break-in. It was just raccoons.
Two very big, strong raccoons.
And then they ate
some different temperature porridges, like Goldilocks.
-What? -Okay, gotta go.
Love you. Bye.
You taste like manna from heaven. And sidewalk.
Can I just say I'm shocked you listened to me?
What? Why would you say that?
It just-- It seemed like you really took what I said to heart.
Oh, no. I stopped listening after you said "Brooklyn."
I can't have a dog from Brooklyn. Ew.
You know the story of how I found Shampagne,
-I've told you a thousand times. -More.
I was on a shopping spree in Paris,
and I was approached by a breeder who had an elite litter
sired by the great-great-great-great-grandson
of Louis XIV's shihtz-a-doodle, Doodly XIV.
I paid an ungodly amount of money for him.
You can't simply clone a perfect, purebred pedigree
in the filthy streets of Brooklyn. No, thank you.
If I ever wanted a mutt from a trash pile,
I'd get it from-- Where were you born again?
-Weehawken. -Disgusting. Weehawken.
Okay, I get it. Nothing from Brooklyn.
-Ever, ever, ever. -Ever! Or Weehawken.
We've got to tell our kids you're here. This would make their lives.
We know, we know, and we're sorry, but it's just too risky.
If people find out, we'll be fan-rounded.
That's a cool word I made up for being surrounded by fans.
-That is really cool. -We love the fans.
We want them to be happy in life and study hard in school.
But if the fans in the park find us, we'll never make it to our show in time,
and then the fans at the show will be sad.
It's a real "catch-Money Candy."
That's a cool name I made up for a catch-22 that involves us.
Amazing.
The other guys were smart and stayed back at the hotel,
but we really wanted to see Central Park.
You did? I-- You're here, so--
I guess so, but-- Wow! Thank you.
I'm the manager of Central Park, by the way. Owen.
-Just the person we need. -You need me?
Yeah, we have to be at the 67th Street exit
in 23 minutes.
You think you can help us get out of the park undetected?
And maybe get us some of those famous hot dogs?
Let me consult with my associate for a moment.
-Associate? -I was trying to be cool, didn't work.
If we get them out of the park,
maybe we could get their autographs for the kids.
-Are autographs still a thing? -I don't think so.
But if Money Candy is involved,
-the kids will love it. -All right. We'll do it.
You guys okay with leaves?
I once had 72 gold leaves glued to my skin for a music video.
-You guys get it. -Totally.
-You do? -No. But let's go!
You won't find us
These are for me. They're not for famous musicians
-or anything like that. -Thanks.
We found hot dogs
Is the president in town today?
-Nope. That's just for us. -Wow.
-Thanks for getting us out on time. -Yeah, about that, we wanted to ask--
Would you and your family like tickets to the show?
Yes. Yeah. We would like that, very much.
Yep, yep, that is so much better than what we were gonna ask for.
-We got tickets, we got tickets! -Oh, my gosh.
Is that only five tickets?
That's cool. I'm actually busy tonight.
I have plans to not see Money Candy.
Yeah. All booked up. Busy guy over here.
-Hey, there's my favorite family. -Hi, parents.
-Get up, everyone. Come on. -Too sad to move.
-You do the honors. -I think you're gonna wanna see this.
If you don't mind directing your attention upwards for a moment.
-What? Tickets? -Are you serious?
-How did you get tickets? It's impossible. -It's pretty crazy, actually.
No, I am not kidding you.
Money Candy.
We are the greatest parents in the history of the world.
And this is how it happened.
We both went down to the venue
We were just trying to get tickets
But we found out they were sold out
In a couple of minutes
Just when we thought we were failures We came back home and found
A wonderful surprise Right inside of our house
Inside the bathroom that we all use
Where I take time-outs from all of you
It was no burglar or raccoon
It was Ki-Moon and Min-Jun
Sorry, if I'm honest I'm a little skeptical
It sounds too good to believe
Nothing this exciting Has ever happened here before
Our idols came To relieve themselves?
Ki-Moon may have used the towel
Min-Jun may have tinkled on the seat
I'm kind of freaking out right now
'Cause Money Candy peed In our bathroom
Money Candy peed in our bathroom
Wait, Money Candy peed In our bathroom?
It was number one, not a number two
Money Candy peed in our bathroom
-Sure. -So creative. I love your imaginations.
-Wait, you don't believe us? -I don't think so, sister.
It really happened. I swear.
However you got them, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I can't believe we get to see Money Candy!
Min-Jun just looked at me! He looked right at me!
Baby, I'm in love with you
Can't stop till you make it all right Fill me up with your
I will find you
Come back
I will find you