1 00:00:12,692 --> 00:00:13,627 Mm. 2 00:00:18,838 --> 00:00:20,809 Gave us a load of free ones 'cause I told them that it's-- 3 00:00:20,842 --> 00:00:22,210 -Told them what? -Mm-mm. 4 00:00:25,183 --> 00:00:27,655 Just... how much we like condiments. Mm. 5 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:34,669 [clears throat] 6 00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,310 -This is nice. -Hmm. 7 00:00:38,343 --> 00:00:39,680 [worker] Two haddock, one saveloy! 8 00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:41,817 Oh. Oh, this is good fish. 9 00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,522 Mmm. 10 00:00:45,525 --> 00:00:47,094 Mmm. 11 00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:49,599 Batter's good and all. 12 00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:54,877 And the chips. 13 00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:57,783 -Good chips. Good, um-- -Good color. 14 00:00:57,816 --> 00:01:00,120 Thank you. Not too pale. 15 00:01:00,153 --> 00:01:01,557 Look, you all wanted me to do something, 16 00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:03,427 so this is something we're doing, so let's just 17 00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,699 get this done and forget about it, okay? 18 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,535 Move on. Great. 19 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,642 But, Mum, your 50th birthday, though, isn't-- 20 00:01:10,675 --> 00:01:13,246 Can you... You don't need to keep saying it. 21 00:01:13,279 --> 00:01:14,482 -What? -The fucking number, Luke. 22 00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:16,485 You know what? Fucking 50. 23 00:01:19,191 --> 00:01:21,462 Can you pass me one of the 5 billion vinegars, please? 24 00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:26,473 Thanks very much. For fuck's sake. 25 00:01:26,507 --> 00:01:29,847 [worker] Uh, two fish pies, one cod roe! 26 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,151 Would have thought you'd have a bit of fish today, Luke. 27 00:01:32,184 --> 00:01:33,755 -Special occasion. -He's a vegetarian. 28 00:01:33,788 --> 00:01:36,226 Mm. Fish, though. I mean... 29 00:01:36,259 --> 00:01:37,929 Fish actually grieve their dead. 30 00:01:37,962 --> 00:01:40,300 -Do they? -They release a stress hormone. 31 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,803 Jesus Christ, Luke. 32 00:01:42,371 --> 00:01:45,779 Sorry. Hasan says it's your 50th, love. 33 00:01:45,812 --> 00:01:46,914 Happy birthday. 34 00:01:46,947 --> 00:01:48,685 -Well... -[Hasan] Happy birthday! 35 00:01:48,718 --> 00:01:51,691 The big 5-0! Yay! 36 00:01:51,724 --> 00:01:53,293 Hey, thanks, everyone. 37 00:01:53,326 --> 00:01:55,163 [Hasan] One steak pie, two cod! 38 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,958 -You gonna try 'em on? -I'm mid gingernut. 39 00:02:08,991 --> 00:02:12,733 Well, I can't stand looking at those other things anymore. 40 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,404 They turn my stomach. 41 00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:17,475 There's nothing wrong with these. 42 00:02:17,509 --> 00:02:20,749 They make you look like you never bathe, 43 00:02:20,782 --> 00:02:23,688 like a hippie or a squirrel. 44 00:02:23,721 --> 00:02:25,959 You can wear your new shoes to your 80th party, Granddad. 45 00:02:25,992 --> 00:02:27,896 There's not enough time to break them in. 46 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:30,266 Brogues are notoriously stiff. 47 00:02:31,135 --> 00:02:33,440 No one's ever run a marathon in Brogues. 48 00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,612 We're getting our photo taken tomorrow. 49 00:02:35,645 --> 00:02:38,684 They've got a photographer coming in. Professional. 50 00:02:38,717 --> 00:02:42,491 He took one of those photos of Dodi and Diana on the boat, 51 00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,462 but he mainly does this sort of thing now. 52 00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:45,965 -[doorbell rings] -I'll get it. 53 00:02:49,371 --> 00:02:50,273 [door opens] 54 00:02:52,311 --> 00:02:53,479 Hello. 55 00:02:54,014 --> 00:02:56,185 Oh. Holly. I'm here to do Jim's hair. 56 00:02:58,691 --> 00:03:01,429 Am I coming in, or is he gonna stick his head 57 00:03:01,462 --> 00:03:02,766 around the door, and I'll do it here? 58 00:03:02,799 --> 00:03:03,734 Oh, sorry. 59 00:03:09,613 --> 00:03:12,886 Uh... Okay. Your vehicle breaks down in a tunnel. 60 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,656 -Spooky. -What would do you do first? 61 00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:16,694 A, get out of the car and stand behind it 62 00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:18,631 to show other drivers that you're not moving? 63 00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,869 Obviously not. That is... That's mental. 64 00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:22,806 B, switch on your hazards and call your breakdown company. 65 00:03:22,839 --> 00:03:24,408 [horn honks] 66 00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:27,983 -All right, shit. -Okay. Please pass, Luke. 67 00:03:28,016 --> 00:03:30,287 Please. I just... I don't wanna be one of those mums 68 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,623 that gives birth on the floor of a bus. 69 00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:33,861 Don't worry. I will pass. 70 00:03:35,932 --> 00:03:37,301 -Love you. -Love you, too. 71 00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:38,369 Okay. 72 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:44,015 [exhales deeply] Thanks for this. 73 00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:46,554 You're welcome, mate. Mate, do... do you want to drive? 74 00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:49,024 Um, no, I should--I'll keep revising in the car. 75 00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,398 -Right. -[sighs] 76 00:03:52,431 --> 00:03:53,366 Okay. 77 00:03:55,638 --> 00:03:57,542 It's quite a process. 78 00:03:57,575 --> 00:03:59,946 She's gonna blast me ends in a minute with the men's dryer. 79 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,656 I got a special hair dryer for the guys. 80 00:04:05,257 --> 00:04:07,361 They got stronger hair, haven't they, men? 81 00:04:07,394 --> 00:04:08,865 Only need a little breeze for the ladies. 82 00:04:08,898 --> 00:04:10,502 Knock 'em over, otherwise. 83 00:04:10,535 --> 00:04:12,639 I'm just gonna walk round the perimeter. 84 00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:15,310 One of the great English walks, that. 85 00:04:18,349 --> 00:04:19,485 [Ava] Bye, Granny. 86 00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:23,561 -15 and some shrapnel. -Oh. 87 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,565 I'm afraid the accumulator didn't come up, though. 88 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,302 Hey, 15 quid's not bad at all. Thanks, Holly. 89 00:04:28,904 --> 00:04:31,944 I can't get to the bookies' now, so Holly goes for me. 90 00:04:31,977 --> 00:04:34,582 Okay. This whole thing makes more sense now. 91 00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:36,787 What? 92 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:38,658 He's only got, like, eight hairs. 93 00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:40,427 -Ooh. -And I'm working my magic 94 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,666 on all eight of them, thank you very much. 95 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,970 -She can do yours after. -But only eight? 96 00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,507 Yeah, you've got to pick your favorites. 97 00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:47,842 [chuckles] 98 00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:52,685 You got great hair. I could do yours for real. 99 00:04:53,219 --> 00:04:54,822 I'm always after people to practice on for sixth form. 100 00:04:56,693 --> 00:04:58,396 Thank you, Holly. 101 00:04:58,429 --> 00:05:01,570 Holly's helpin' organize my 80th birthday party. 102 00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:03,975 You two should swap numbers. 103 00:05:04,008 --> 00:05:06,780 Chat sausage rolls and quiche and whatnot. 104 00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:10,453 Yeah, go on then. Stick your number in there. 105 00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:14,796 -[sighs] Buckle up, Jim. -[hair dryer turns on] 106 00:05:18,871 --> 00:05:20,909 And you've come to us via the... 107 00:05:20,942 --> 00:05:22,712 -[watch beeps] -...inimitable Darren? 108 00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:25,618 Ah, yeah. There can only be one Darren, thank God. 109 00:05:25,651 --> 00:05:26,954 [both chuckle] 110 00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,626 -[watch beeps] -And he's your business partner? 111 00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:33,033 -Silent partner? -I mean, silent's the goal. 112 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,404 Yeah, if I can get him to shut up for five minutes. 113 00:05:35,437 --> 00:05:37,842 [both chuckle] 114 00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:39,846 -Oh, your coffee. -Gosh. 115 00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:43,019 Mm. 116 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:44,956 Wow. Thanks. 117 00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:47,728 Thank you. Thanks. 118 00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:50,033 Ooh. 119 00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,870 Is that for me, too? Thanks. Thanks. 120 00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:55,009 It's lovely. 121 00:05:57,548 --> 00:05:58,482 Thanks. 122 00:05:59,451 --> 00:06:00,754 Thanks. Thank you. 123 00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:04,562 -[watch beeps] -Please. 124 00:06:07,602 --> 00:06:10,642 So, we're super keen to throw open the doors here, 125 00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:14,650 get as much wisdom in the room as possible. 126 00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:15,818 Sorry. You okay? 127 00:06:15,851 --> 00:06:17,187 Yeah. Yeah, no, I was... 128 00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:19,091 I'm just gonna let it cool down for a bit 129 00:06:19,124 --> 00:06:21,062 'cause it's very, very, very hot. [chuckles] 130 00:06:21,095 --> 00:06:23,701 -What we're excited by... -[watch beeping] 131 00:06:23,734 --> 00:06:27,842 ...is the sheer breadth of your experience. 132 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,813 We think that that is something 133 00:06:29,846 --> 00:06:32,985 -we could really feed from here. -[watch beeps] 134 00:06:33,419 --> 00:06:36,059 Great. Well, I would love to, um... 135 00:06:36,092 --> 00:06:39,766 well... [stammers] feed you, I suppose. [chuckles] 136 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:40,969 -[chuckles] -That's great. 137 00:06:41,002 --> 00:06:42,471 -Mm. -Yeah. She's great. 138 00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:43,540 -Yeah. -[watch beeps] 139 00:06:50,588 --> 00:06:52,090 Mmm, that smells complicated. 140 00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:54,529 -How was it? -I got it. They love me. 141 00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:56,934 -Oh! Great. Well done. -[laughs] 142 00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,002 They offered me the job on the spot. 143 00:06:58,036 --> 00:07:00,541 They didn't even wanna see the other candidates. 144 00:07:00,574 --> 00:07:02,812 Ah, mate, well, that calls for a drink. 145 00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:04,649 Uh, Luke has some good news, too. 146 00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:07,121 -Oh, yeah. -I, uh, I passed my theory. 147 00:07:07,154 --> 00:07:09,826 Oh, Luke, that's amazing. You must be so relieved. 148 00:07:09,859 --> 00:07:11,496 -Yeah, I am. -Oh. 149 00:07:11,530 --> 00:07:12,699 Still gotta do my practical, though. 150 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,235 Oh, you'll be fine. 151 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,838 [Paul] Um, Maya, is apple juice all right for you? 152 00:07:15,871 --> 00:07:17,174 [Maya] Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 153 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:17,975 Did you get one of these? 154 00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,015 What am I looking at? 155 00:07:21,048 --> 00:07:23,754 It's a walking holiday, Paul. Look at them. 156 00:07:23,787 --> 00:07:25,591 They seem very happy. 157 00:07:25,624 --> 00:07:26,960 This is my demographic now, 158 00:07:26,993 --> 00:07:29,231 these guys. Swimming costume off. 159 00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:31,904 I'm going on holiday in a fucking cagoule now, am I? 160 00:07:31,937 --> 00:07:33,641 Look, just chuck it. 161 00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:35,878 It's junk. I get that stuff all the time. 162 00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,651 -Am I on some sort of register? -Fuckin' hope not. 163 00:07:38,684 --> 00:07:40,120 Oh, they're gonna try and sell me a little chair 164 00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:41,690 for the shower next, aren't they? 165 00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:43,694 Oh, sounds fucking lovely, to be fair. 166 00:07:43,727 --> 00:07:46,065 -[sighs] -I'll take them. 167 00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:47,936 -Yeah. -Ah, shit, just remembered. 168 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:51,142 I've got to get more booze for Dad's thing. Drink up. Drink up. 169 00:07:51,175 --> 00:07:52,712 You know he started having his hair done regularly? 170 00:07:52,745 --> 00:07:54,014 -Mm. -Can you get a blue rinse 171 00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:55,217 for a bald head? 172 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,087 Holly says no one has them anymore. 173 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,991 They all get this demi wave thing because 174 00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:02,030 your hair thins as you age. You lose, like, 70% volume. 175 00:08:02,063 --> 00:08:03,768 Holly says it's better just to chop it off 176 00:08:03,801 --> 00:08:05,738 after a certain point. It's just wisps otherwise. 177 00:08:05,771 --> 00:08:07,942 -Right. Uh-- -Holly's granddad's hairdresser. 178 00:08:07,975 --> 00:08:09,980 Well, not just Granddad's. She does all of them. 179 00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:12,217 She's paying her way through sixth form. 180 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:13,987 She's full-time now. Well, four days a week. 181 00:08:15,825 --> 00:08:19,165 Right. A toast... [chuckles] to Mum and Luke. 182 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,701 -Aw. -Mum and Luke. 183 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:21,937 Yes. 184 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:23,808 Hey, mate, play your cards right, 185 00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:25,043 you'll be driving her to work on her first day. 186 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,216 [photographer] Lovely. 187 00:08:28,249 --> 00:08:30,755 Just look over to me again, Bobby. 188 00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:32,725 How long is this gonna take? 189 00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:36,099 Well, they can't rush it, Jim. It's a proper portrait. 190 00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:39,105 Portrait? Who am I, Henry the fucking VIII? 191 00:08:39,138 --> 00:08:40,541 Hello. 192 00:08:40,942 --> 00:08:43,581 I don't know why you won't put your new shoes on. 193 00:08:43,614 --> 00:08:46,620 Jesus, Jackie, they're not gonna get me shoes in it, are they? 194 00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:49,158 -It'll be from the knees up. -But what if it isn't? 195 00:08:49,191 --> 00:08:51,095 What if it's, you know, what's it called? 196 00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:54,201 -Full frontal? -Full length. 197 00:08:54,770 --> 00:08:56,573 -All right, Holly. -Hello. 198 00:08:57,274 --> 00:08:59,010 I'm gonna give Leslie a quick zhuzh. 199 00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:03,119 She doesn't need a zhuzh. She needs a defibrillator. 200 00:09:03,152 --> 00:09:04,790 -Hmm. -[photographer] Lovely bow tie. 201 00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:08,196 Be nice for Luke and Ava to have a proper photo of us. 202 00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:12,772 They've already got one of us in Mitcham at the carvery. 203 00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:14,776 [scoffs] What, and you'd want that printed 204 00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:17,147 alongside your obituary, would you? 205 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:19,753 [gasps] Look, Jimmy's getting his shoe in it. 206 00:09:19,786 --> 00:09:21,189 Big smile! Excellent. 207 00:09:21,222 --> 00:09:22,826 Oh, I don't know why you won't put your shoes-- 208 00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:24,729 Because they're me last shoes, aren't they? 209 00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,702 I've had these ones seven years, 210 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,304 so the next pair will be me last. 211 00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:33,312 -They're a dead man's shoes. -Just a pair of shoes. 212 00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:36,085 It's the pair of shoes I'm gonna be buried in. 213 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,622 [photographer] Thank you. How's everything? 214 00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:41,697 Well, I'm not burying you in those old ones. 215 00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:46,038 I'd rather you went in barefoot or in my slippers. 216 00:09:46,573 --> 00:09:50,180 I can't put the new ones on, Jackie. Not yet. 217 00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:53,821 [photographer] Right. Let's try a fun one, shall we? 218 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,158 -[laughs] That's brilliant. -Oh, for crying out loud. 219 00:09:56,191 --> 00:09:57,260 [photographer] Can I have the next victim, please? 220 00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:04,775 [door opens, indistinct conversations] 221 00:10:06,111 --> 00:10:07,949 Hey. Are... Are they finished? 222 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,285 Oh, no, they're still queuing. 223 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:11,389 Is Mr. January doing his nude shots? 224 00:10:11,422 --> 00:10:14,161 [laughs] Yes. It's getting very steamy in there. 225 00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:16,332 -[chuckles] -I was gonna get a tea 226 00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,637 -if you want one. -Sure. 227 00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:34,703 Susie's back in town! Hooray! [laughs] 228 00:10:34,736 --> 00:10:36,439 What was it? A wedding? Any good? 229 00:10:36,472 --> 00:10:38,844 Oh, six out of 10. Could do better. 230 00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:41,382 Ooh. God, you forget the vicar might be judging you. 231 00:10:41,415 --> 00:10:43,787 Well, they didn't bring out those canapés quick enough. 232 00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,156 It's like, I'm not saying long, lads. 233 00:10:45,189 --> 00:10:47,393 -Get the arancini balls movin'! -[chuckles] 234 00:10:49,498 --> 00:10:51,737 I only started coming for a bit of extra cash, 235 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,943 but turns out I love old people. 236 00:10:54,976 --> 00:10:57,916 They are excellent, the ones I know, anyway. 237 00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:01,022 They're just so good at chilling. Look at 'em. 238 00:11:01,055 --> 00:11:05,096 They've been there for hours, just lookin', thinkin', 239 00:11:05,129 --> 00:11:06,800 appreciatin' the small things, you know? 240 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,138 Is it possible that they can't actually get up? 241 00:11:09,171 --> 00:11:10,942 Maybe we should check their pulses. 242 00:11:10,975 --> 00:11:13,914 [laughs] Are you disrespecting Gwen and Michael? 243 00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:15,450 You're lucky Gwen ain't got her hearing aids in. 244 00:11:15,483 --> 00:11:16,719 [laughs] 245 00:11:18,322 --> 00:11:20,427 That's all I want. You know, simple stuff. 246 00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,899 Nice house. 247 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,735 Nice girlfriend. Nice dog. 248 00:11:28,142 --> 00:11:31,917 I've always wanted a dog, but it wouldn't be fair on it. 249 00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:33,186 Living in a city? 250 00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:35,089 -No, living with my dad. -[laughs] 251 00:11:36,425 --> 00:11:41,235 -So, what you do for fun? -I don't know. 252 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,441 I've never been great at having fun. 253 00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:47,781 -Maybe I'm too serious. -Uh, bollocks. You're hilarious. 254 00:11:48,182 --> 00:11:50,788 But I mean, you should have a hobby. 255 00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:53,794 -Like what? -I don't know. Pick one. 256 00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,798 Uh... roller skatin'? 257 00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,334 -Roller skatin'? -Yeah. 258 00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,271 I haven't been either, so... 259 00:11:59,304 --> 00:12:01,041 we could... break our legs together? 260 00:12:02,978 --> 00:12:05,784 They're probably done by now, and I said I... I should go in. 261 00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:09,491 Yeah, okay. Well, I'll... see you at the party, then. 262 00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:10,994 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 263 00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,313 Bag. [chuckles] 264 00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:26,092 -[bartender] Afternoon, love. -Hi, can I-- 265 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,862 -What can I get you? -A red wine, please. 266 00:12:27,895 --> 00:12:30,233 [cellphone rings] 267 00:12:30,266 --> 00:12:32,037 [sighs] 268 00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:35,410 Hi, Darren. Yeah. No, yeah, it went brilliantly, thanks. 269 00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:38,148 Yeah. Oh, did they? Oh, that's good. 270 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:41,956 Sorry. What do you mean? 271 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,564 Are you joking me? 272 00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,369 You better be fucking joking me, Darren. 273 00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:50,373 [inhales and exhales deeply] 274 00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,516 I don't even think I should look, really, 275 00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:56,118 you know, until I've passed. 276 00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:57,889 Well, you're not gonna jinx yourself by staring 277 00:12:57,922 --> 00:12:59,157 at a Renault Clio for 10 minutes. 278 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,534 Sort of want to know who the owner was. 279 00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:05,036 Yeah, you probably don't. 280 00:13:05,069 --> 00:13:06,439 -How we gettin' on? -Jesus. 281 00:13:06,472 --> 00:13:08,076 Uh, yeah, just looking. Cheers. Yeah. 282 00:13:08,109 --> 00:13:10,313 Yeah, for you, is it? Little back and forth to uni? 283 00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:12,885 Just want the safest one, really. 284 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:14,956 -It's, uh, it's for a baby. -Don't let a baby drive it, 285 00:13:14,989 --> 00:13:16,092 for God's sake. They haven't really got 286 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,962 the hand-eye coordination for that. 287 00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:19,364 -Well, that's exciting stuff. -Hmm. 288 00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:20,266 Yeah. Congratulations. 289 00:13:22,237 --> 00:13:23,607 So, we're just gonna have a little, uh, mooch about. 290 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,343 You're gonna wanna look at boot space. 291 00:13:25,376 --> 00:13:27,080 -Gotcha. -Yeah. Babies need a lot of kit. 292 00:13:27,113 --> 00:13:28,349 -Right. [chuckles] -Honestly, whether you're 293 00:13:28,382 --> 00:13:30,053 going out for three hours or three weeks, 294 00:13:30,086 --> 00:13:31,623 -it's the same amount of stuff. -Yeah. 295 00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:34,194 -Come on. Let's have a look. -Why did you... 296 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,604 No, we're not buying this one. 297 00:13:38,637 --> 00:13:40,106 You could fit in there, you could, 298 00:13:40,139 --> 00:13:41,375 and he's gonna want to, isn't he, Dad, hey? 299 00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:44,181 Get a bit of peace and quiet. Come on. 300 00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:45,884 Let's have a poke around at her insides, shall we? 301 00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:50,460 -I'm gonna fucking kill him! -Well, I'll be your alibi. 302 00:13:50,493 --> 00:13:52,999 Well, they'll believe me because privilege. 303 00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:56,038 -And he definitely knew before? -Yeah, they told him 'cause 304 00:13:56,071 --> 00:13:58,577 they've had shit from their HR guys about ageism or whatever, 305 00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:02,250 so he's wheeled me in like a rescue hag. 306 00:14:02,283 --> 00:14:05,591 They just needed someone over my... my age. 307 00:14:05,624 --> 00:14:08,196 -Over 50? -[groans] 308 00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:09,666 [chuckles] You're gonna have to say it at some point. 309 00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,335 Let's get another 50 bottles of this, then. 310 00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,606 -All right, I'm on it. -Nearly done. 311 00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,380 Did anything grab you back there? 312 00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:20,286 Quite like the idea of being locked in a boot. 313 00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,257 [chuckles] No, me, too. 314 00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:24,494 A cross between a spa and a kidnapping. 315 00:14:25,029 --> 00:14:27,100 -You're driving. -What? 316 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:27,968 -Ta. -No... 317 00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:39,525 [sighs] 318 00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:45,170 -You all right? -Yeah. Just, um... sometimes 319 00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,107 feel like my elbows get in the way. Where... Where... 320 00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:49,011 -Where do you put yours? -Where do I put them? 321 00:14:49,044 --> 00:14:50,413 -Yeah. -In the glove compartment. 322 00:14:50,446 --> 00:14:52,652 That way I know where they are. Oh, right. 323 00:14:52,685 --> 00:14:54,989 He's... He's letting you out, so do you want to go right here? 324 00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:55,957 -Yeah. -Great. 325 00:14:57,427 --> 00:14:58,696 [Paul] Good, good, good. Thanks, mate. 326 00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,368 Lovely. 327 00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,576 Very good. Very good, mate. 328 00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:05,944 Just pick up your speed a little bit. 329 00:15:06,445 --> 00:15:08,149 Uh, this is a really fast road. 330 00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:10,153 It's not really fast. It's a... It's a 30, 331 00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:12,390 so just... yeah, put... put your foot down, mate. 332 00:15:12,423 --> 00:15:14,127 Dad, I can't. I need... I need to stop. 333 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,131 Luke, Luke, just calm down. Keep going straight along this road. 334 00:15:16,164 --> 00:15:18,069 -Shit. I can't. Dad, I can't. -No, you don't... Just... 335 00:15:18,102 --> 00:15:20,006 -I... I need to pull over. -Luke, you don't have 336 00:15:20,039 --> 00:15:22,010 -to pull over, darling. -Listen to what I'm telling you. 337 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:23,412 Dad, I can't do it! 338 00:15:23,445 --> 00:15:26,485 Luke, calm the fuck down just for a second, mate. 339 00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,022 -There's no need to pull over. -I'm not doing that. 340 00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:29,525 Luke, carry on now. Don't fucking stop. 341 00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:32,998 [horn honks in distance] 342 00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:38,008 -[car door closes] -[exhales deeply] 343 00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:45,389 -You all right? -[sighs] Can't do it, Dad. 344 00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:47,695 Well, it would help if you sat in the actual car. 345 00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:49,498 No, I mean, I can't do any of it. 346 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,368 I'm not... I'm not ready. 347 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,572 Well, you're gonna have to be, aren't you, Luke? 348 00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:54,241 Because it's happening, son, 349 00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,580 and it's happening pretty fucking soon. 350 00:15:56,613 --> 00:15:59,586 So I just... I learn to drive, and then I get a car, 351 00:15:59,619 --> 00:16:02,156 and then... I'm just a dad then, am I? 352 00:16:02,423 --> 00:16:03,560 Basically, yes. 353 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,668 It's scary. I know. I'm still scared. 354 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,070 That bit never goes. 355 00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,780 -All right, what should I say? -Short and sweet. 356 00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,584 Just, "Fuck off." 357 00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:18,222 -Yeah. -Subject heading. nothing else. 358 00:16:18,255 --> 00:16:21,061 Perfect. That'll just really freak 'em out. 359 00:16:21,094 --> 00:16:23,399 Your skills are wasted on Jesus. 360 00:16:23,432 --> 00:16:25,604 "Fuck off." 361 00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,574 -Send. -[cellphone clatters] 362 00:16:29,779 --> 00:16:33,452 You don't have to feel ready for it, 'cause no one does. 363 00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:36,425 You just... uh... You just do it. 364 00:16:36,458 --> 00:16:38,664 You get up in the morning, 365 00:16:38,697 --> 00:16:41,135 and you... you just do it best you can. 366 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,038 And some days it will be... 367 00:16:43,907 --> 00:16:46,546 Uh... well, it'll be fucking horrific... 368 00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:48,416 [laughs] to be honest with you. 369 00:16:48,449 --> 00:16:51,556 You'll wanna put your head through a wall, but... 370 00:16:51,589 --> 00:16:54,361 much of the time... 371 00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:56,365 it'll feel magical, mate. 372 00:16:56,398 --> 00:16:59,137 Like you're gonna meet this little person, 373 00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,576 and you are going to lose your mind 374 00:17:01,609 --> 00:17:03,478 in the most brilliant way. 375 00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:05,651 And listen, don't forget, mate, 376 00:17:05,684 --> 00:17:08,724 me and Mum will be with you every step of the way. 377 00:17:08,757 --> 00:17:10,660 We can still be the grownups when you need us to be. Okay? 378 00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:16,371 [cellphone chimes] 379 00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:21,115 Now, come on. 380 00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,652 Mum said she's had three bottles of wine 381 00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:24,087 and not enough crisps. 382 00:17:25,423 --> 00:17:26,860 [whimsical music playing over computer] 383 00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:28,262 -Mm, this bit. Wait, hang on. -[cat meows on video] 384 00:17:29,765 --> 00:17:31,769 [laughs] Yeah, this is it. 385 00:17:31,970 --> 00:17:33,573 [cellphone buttons clicking] 386 00:17:33,606 --> 00:17:35,878 [whimsical music, meowing continues on video] 387 00:17:35,911 --> 00:17:38,516 -Who are you messaging? -No one. 388 00:17:39,852 --> 00:17:41,690 You're... You're smiling at your phone. 389 00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:43,894 It's just for Granddad's thing. 390 00:17:43,927 --> 00:17:45,162 Someone from the sheltered housing. 391 00:17:48,369 --> 00:17:51,141 She's called Holly. She's the hairdresser there. 392 00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:55,216 -She's very funny. -[laughs] Oh, my God. 393 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,822 -What? -You like her. 394 00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,458 What? I don't... No! Stop it. 395 00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:01,629 -Ava! -It's really nothing, Grace. 396 00:18:01,662 --> 00:18:02,798 Don't make it weird. 397 00:18:04,935 --> 00:18:08,844 [cellphone buttons resume clicking] 398 00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:09,812 [messaging bloops] 399 00:18:12,618 --> 00:18:14,454 I mean, you are literally 400 00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:16,492 holding your phone to your heart. 401 00:18:16,526 --> 00:18:17,828 -[cellphone clatters] -[chuckles] 402 00:18:26,411 --> 00:18:28,750 -Hi, darling. -Hi! 403 00:18:28,783 --> 00:18:31,455 -Nice time? -Ah, so nice. 404 00:18:31,488 --> 00:18:32,591 How's Susie? 405 00:18:32,624 --> 00:18:34,360 -So nice! -Good. 406 00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:36,599 So nice. 407 00:18:36,632 --> 00:18:38,469 [seat belt clunking] 408 00:18:38,503 --> 00:18:39,872 [Ally grunts] 409 00:18:39,905 --> 00:18:41,375 You all right? 410 00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,680 -Fine. -[seat belt clacking] 411 00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:46,585 -I'm just gonna hold it. -No, don't hold it. Just... 412 00:18:47,286 --> 00:18:50,894 Ooh! You coming in for a little kissy? 413 00:18:50,927 --> 00:18:53,399 No, 'cause you're 40% proof, aren't you, babe? 414 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:54,969 Right. Can I just get under your ass? Thank you. 415 00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:57,608 Oh, don't go in it. Ahh! 416 00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,745 -[laughs] -[sighs and chuckles] 417 00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:02,718 -Okay. -[seat belt clicks] 418 00:19:03,386 --> 00:19:06,760 -[sighs] I quit that job. -Excuse me? 419 00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:08,530 Yeah, I'm not doing that, 420 00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:10,768 looking at me like I'm fucking 90, 421 00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:11,770 and I don't want to work there, anyway. 422 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:14,909 They've got weird space coffee. 423 00:19:14,942 --> 00:19:18,449 It's very hot in here. Where's the wind-y window thingy? 424 00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:20,687 There isn't a windy-- When did you quit this job? 425 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,858 Just now. I wrote a really good email. 426 00:19:22,891 --> 00:19:25,630 Susie edited-it-it... it. 427 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:29,371 -Susie edited it. -Susie did? 428 00:19:29,404 --> 00:19:30,541 -Yeah. -Great. 429 00:19:30,574 --> 00:19:32,410 Two piss-heads are better than one. 430 00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,916 -Oh, my God! Luke is driving! -Yeah, uh... 431 00:19:34,949 --> 00:19:36,953 Yep. Don't put him off. He's doing really well. 432 00:19:36,986 --> 00:19:39,324 -Can you slow it down a second? -Yeah, please. 433 00:19:39,357 --> 00:19:41,696 [moans] I feel a bit sick. 434 00:19:41,729 --> 00:19:44,267 [laughs] 435 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,373 One, two, three, four, five, six. 436 00:19:47,741 --> 00:19:49,579 I love toast. 437 00:19:49,612 --> 00:19:51,682 Give me some toast. I love toast. 438 00:19:57,895 --> 00:19:59,297 I haven't got time to wait for that. 439 00:19:59,330 --> 00:20:00,299 I'll be dead soon, won't I? 440 00:20:00,332 --> 00:20:01,702 Everything's... Oh. 441 00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:05,476 Yes, Queens! 442 00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:06,946 Hi, Ally. 443 00:20:06,979 --> 00:20:08,015 -[laughs] -Steady. 444 00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:09,719 [Ally] It's fun. 445 00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:11,288 Is she okay? 446 00:20:11,321 --> 00:20:13,960 Yeah. She's just feeling a bit 50. 447 00:20:14,895 --> 00:20:17,768 Oh. [moans] 448 00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,571 Oh, God. 449 00:20:28,890 --> 00:20:31,595 [chuckles] Fuck. And there it is. 450 00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:34,868 The reason that we don't drink like that anymore. 451 00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:38,577 Oh, God. Was I horrific? 452 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,581 Yeah. No. You--You were very merry, actually, 453 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,317 for someone who's just told their new boss 454 00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,389 to fuck off and done a little sick out the car. 455 00:20:45,422 --> 00:20:47,694 -Fuck. What is wrong with me? -Ah, nothin'. 456 00:20:48,362 --> 00:20:51,503 I hate turning 50. I wanna turn back. 457 00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:54,876 Look, I... I wasn't keen on 50 when it hit either, 458 00:20:54,909 --> 00:20:57,548 but I know this is a cliché. 459 00:20:57,581 --> 00:20:59,050 It's a lot better than the alternative. 460 00:20:59,785 --> 00:21:00,987 Mm. 461 00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:06,498 Everything's going too fast. I can't... 462 00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,102 -Yeah. -[sighs] 463 00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:10,741 I sort of feel like we've had the good bit. 464 00:21:10,774 --> 00:21:12,511 Do you know what I mean? But... 465 00:21:13,245 --> 00:21:15,349 I don't know what I'm doing anymore. 466 00:21:17,053 --> 00:21:19,024 -I miss Luke. -Mm-hmm. 467 00:21:19,057 --> 00:21:23,365 I mean, I'm gonna be a fucking grandma. 468 00:21:23,398 --> 00:21:24,902 That just sounds weird. 469 00:21:24,935 --> 00:21:30,078 That's like saying I'm gonna be a... horse or something. 470 00:21:31,549 --> 00:21:33,452 -Nay. -[laughs] 471 00:21:33,485 --> 00:21:36,593 [laughs] Fuck off. Ow. I can't laugh. 472 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:37,961 Ow. [laughs] 473 00:21:40,432 --> 00:21:42,938 Right, I'm going to pop out and pick up some things 474 00:21:42,971 --> 00:21:44,508 for Dad's birthday do, okay? 475 00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:47,815 So, just sleep, Shergar. Sleep. 476 00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,518 [chuckles] 477 00:21:49,551 --> 00:21:50,485 Fuck off. 478 00:21:58,001 --> 00:21:59,739 [clicks tongue] 479 00:21:59,772 --> 00:22:00,907 [sighs] 480 00:22:03,445 --> 00:22:06,084 [grunting] 481 00:22:09,057 --> 00:22:10,425 [grunts] 482 00:22:15,704 --> 00:22:16,772 [wheezes] 483 00:22:22,016 --> 00:22:23,620 [exhales deeply] 484 00:22:23,653 --> 00:22:26,559 Pushes all the air out of me, tying me laces. 485 00:22:27,928 --> 00:22:29,430 [grunts] 486 00:22:33,138 --> 00:22:35,109 You look very handsome. 487 00:22:35,142 --> 00:22:36,411 [exhales deeply] 488 00:22:37,614 --> 00:22:38,549 Shall we? 489 00:22:43,492 --> 00:22:44,895 -[Ally] God, it's so quiet. -[Luke] Mm. 490 00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:47,033 Old people generally are, I think. 491 00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,437 -Luke, do you wanna open it? -Yes. 492 00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:51,008 -After you. -Right. Thanks. 493 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,145 -Surprise! -[cheering] 494 00:22:53,178 --> 00:22:55,817 -Oh! -Happy 130th. 495 00:22:56,118 --> 00:22:57,921 Oh, my God. 496 00:22:57,954 --> 00:23:02,497 Wow. Okay. Okay. 497 00:23:02,531 --> 00:23:03,933 Two "okay"s? That's potentially not okay. 498 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:05,604 This is very brave, Paul. 499 00:23:05,637 --> 00:23:07,507 Yeah, the fucking adrenaline walking up the street. 500 00:23:08,175 --> 00:23:10,647 -[sighs] -Uh, look, 80 plus 50. That's... 501 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,083 -130, yeah. -Yeah. 502 00:23:12,116 --> 00:23:15,022 -That number's not bad, is it? -Um... 503 00:23:15,055 --> 00:23:16,925 -Ava. -[Ava] Hello. 504 00:23:17,928 --> 00:23:19,632 Do you hate it? 505 00:23:19,665 --> 00:23:23,138 No, no, I don't hate it. I love it. It's... It's... 506 00:23:23,171 --> 00:23:25,476 It's brilliant. Thank you. 507 00:23:25,510 --> 00:23:27,648 -Happy birthday, Mum. -Oh, thanks. [chuckles] 508 00:23:27,681 --> 00:23:30,052 [applause] 509 00:23:30,085 --> 00:23:32,758 -Happy birthday. -[chuckles] 510 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:35,162 Happy birthday, Jim. [laughs] 511 00:23:35,195 --> 00:23:37,033 Happy birthday, Ally. [chuckles] 512 00:23:37,066 --> 00:23:39,170 They get better as you get older. 513 00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:41,676 -That's a lie. They get worse. -[chuckles] 514 00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:43,513 -Happy birthday, darling. -Oh, thank you. 515 00:23:43,546 --> 00:23:46,552 -Mm. -Thanks so much. Oh. Hey! 516 00:23:46,585 --> 00:23:49,090 Well done, darling, putting on a brave face. 517 00:23:49,123 --> 00:23:50,660 [lowered voice] Put me in one of these places, 518 00:23:50,693 --> 00:23:53,799 -I'll fucking kill you. -Wow. Good to know. Okay. 519 00:23:55,804 --> 00:23:58,843 [sighs] 520 00:23:58,876 --> 00:24:01,214 Thank you. [chuckles] I love you. 521 00:24:01,247 --> 00:24:02,917 I love you, too. 522 00:24:04,588 --> 00:24:06,559 -[resident] Whoa! -[residents gasp] 523 00:24:06,592 --> 00:24:08,228 Yeah. All right. Don't all pretend like you're not 524 00:24:08,261 --> 00:24:10,833 all at it like rabbits. I saw it on Panorama. 525 00:24:11,735 --> 00:24:15,744 Hey, um, listen, I'm... I'm so sorry for quitting that job. 526 00:24:15,777 --> 00:24:18,282 You just... You can't put a price on pride. 527 00:24:18,315 --> 00:24:21,120 No, I know. But if you could put a price on it... 528 00:24:21,689 --> 00:24:23,926 [inhales sharply] 15 grand for two months' work. 529 00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:26,999 -Really? -Yeah. 530 00:24:27,032 --> 00:24:28,035 You can't be angry with me, though, 531 00:24:28,068 --> 00:24:30,540 'cause it's my party. 532 00:24:30,573 --> 00:24:31,709 -Okay. -[laughs] 533 00:24:31,742 --> 00:24:33,245 [grunts] 534 00:24:33,278 --> 00:24:35,550 -Uh, I'm gonna pick up tea. -Okay. 535 00:24:35,583 --> 00:24:36,619 -Or a sherry. -[Ally laughs] 536 00:24:36,652 --> 00:24:37,821 Hi, Mum. 537 00:24:38,523 --> 00:24:41,294 [exhales deeply] 80. Bloody hell. 538 00:24:41,327 --> 00:24:43,532 It's a lot of years. 539 00:24:43,766 --> 00:24:47,975 [mouth full] It goes by very fast, Ava. Lightnin' speed. 540 00:24:48,008 --> 00:24:49,310 You can't hang about. 541 00:24:49,343 --> 00:24:52,584 Got to grab life by the short and curlies, 542 00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:54,287 if I'm still allowed to say that. 543 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,256 I think you are. 544 00:24:55,289 --> 00:24:58,897 [singer vocalizing] 545 00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:02,537 [vocalizing continues in distance] 546 00:25:04,608 --> 00:25:07,012 [vocalizing grows louder] 547 00:25:08,315 --> 00:25:09,618 [vocalizing continues in distance] 548 00:25:19,972 --> 00:25:21,140 Hey. 549 00:25:21,742 --> 00:25:24,180 Hey. Sorry. Just had to get away 550 00:25:24,213 --> 00:25:26,151 from the intense partying for a bit. 551 00:25:26,184 --> 00:25:28,021 Holly, would you like to go on a date with me? 552 00:25:29,725 --> 00:25:31,762 Yeah. I'd... I'd like that a lot. 553 00:25:32,329 --> 00:25:33,732 Good. 554 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:35,603 May I kiss you? 555 00:25:37,072 --> 00:25:38,709 You absolutely fucking may.