They love all the different stuff you've worked on.
-Did you tell them I can do it? -Yep, but not for three weeks
'cause you've got this other gig.
Are they okay with that?
They are happy to work around your availability.
Good. I do... I do like freelancing, but, you know,
sometimes I miss being in the same place every day,
seeing the same people, you know, work friends.
Yeah. You're always the new boy as a freelancer, aren't you?
Or girl, in your case.
Lady.
-Woman? -Woman.
Right. Business chat done. Let's go grab that lunch.
Grab, uh, oh, dear. Um...
Have we got lunch booked for today?
Yes, straight after coffee. A nice, fun lunch.
Oh, bugger. I've said I'd go on a cheese barge with Siobhan.
You go up and down the canal eating cheeses.
It's very well reviewed.
Oh, o-okay, well, no... no worries.
Sorry. Um, do you wanna come?
Ah, no. I'm fine.
I don't wanna be the gooseberry on a cheese barge.
[chuckles] Well, I'd better get going then.
Um, sorry again about lunch.
No worries. Off you go.
-Go. Go get... Bye. -Ciao. Ciao.
Okay. See ya.
-[sighs] -[line rings]
[automated voice] Please leave a message after the tone.
-[tone beeps] -Hi, Susie's voicemail.
Um, I was just wondering if you fancied a night in London
or lunch or something one weekend.
So, uh, so, yeah, let me know if and when you're free.
Sending loads of love. [chuckles] Speak soon.
Oh, it's Ally, by the way. I should have led with that.
-[chuckles] -[tone beeps]
[automated voice] To rerecord your message, press...
[cellphone clatters]
Ally.
-[gasps] Oh, my God! Evelyn. Hi! -How are you?
[laughs] I am fine. Are you fine?
I... I'm really fine. Um, look, there's somewhere
I actually have to be in the next five minutes,
-but-- -Me, too. Absolutely.
-Give me your phone. -Oh.
And I'll give you my new number.
-We must meet up. -Yeah, we must.
I know people always say that, but I... I actually mean it.
And we can drink now 'cause our kids are 18,
and no one's breastfeeding, hopefully. [laughs]
-God, it's been ages. -What, like, years and years.
Yeah. Oh, should I dig out Shiloh and, um, Bexy's number,
and we can have a full-on reunion?
-Yeah, that--sure. Great. -Yeah!
-Ally, it's so good to see you. -So good to see you.
-I gotta fly. -No, you go, go, go, go.
-No... Okay. -No, you're fine, yeah.
-Bye. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye.
[Milk & Sugar's "Hi-A Ma (Pata Pata)" playing]
Oh, shit.
[song continues playing]
Not fucking bad.
[song continues playing]
[song fades]
Mmm.
Back off those fucking muffins, Worsleys!
Yeah, yes, I know, it's like what I was saying...
Can we leave those? Yes.
[Ava] Mm-hmm.
What are you doing?
You've never cleaned that before.
Which is why I am now giving it the deep clean it deserves.
You don't need to deep clean the house.
You've literally never done that.
This is crazy cleaning, like in a documentary.
Oh, shit, that's rank. Look.
They're not gonna peer inside the kettle.
God, I've really neglected this kettle.
-[clacking] -Mum, stop cleaning.
It's freaking me out.
Apart from saying hi to Evelyn for two seconds,
I haven't seen these women for 17 years.
I want to impress them.
They'll be impressed by your charisma, not your kettle.
No arseholes.
-What? -Well, usually there's
an arsehole with a group of friends, but not with this lot.
There were 10 of us all pregnant at the same time.
Only four of us got on, so we used to meet up
and cry together about breastfeeding
and eat loads of sugar.
Why aren't you still friends with them now, then?
We just stopped seeing each other. It all got too busy.
But anyway, my... my point is, is that I can't go into my 50s
with Darren as my only friend.
And even he stood me up the other day,
and Darren's never stood me up before.
I mean, Darren's meant to be a permanent fixture.
Darren is the Hootenanny.
Oh, fuck! This is sheer hell.
I am never doing this again. Ahh.
You've got Susie, Mum. Reading isn't that far.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
I will make the effort to go to Reading at some point.
-[knock on door] -[Paul] Aves, you ready to go?
What's happening? Ally, are you still being weird?
Did you ever meet Mum's gang?
We weren't a gang. We didn't shoot rival mums.
No, I can barely remember them, to be honest.
You met them a few times. We had that lovely picnic
at Regents Park.
If you guys wanna help, you're very welcome to.
[sighs] I've got a cramp.
No. Mmm...
Hey, what do you think?
I still think it needs something.
Hmm.
A tablecloth?
Maya's family always have a tablecloth.
-Do they? -Yeah.
I mean... [exhales]
I'm not being an evangelist for tablecloths--
No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's go look at some tablecloths, then.
-What, together? -Yeah. I don't know
what I'm looking for. You're the tablecloth guy.
-[music plays over loudspeaker] -These are all too fussy.
It's like putting knickers on a table.
-That one's quite plain. -Plain is good.
I want my muffins to shine.
Can you get me one of those?
Thank you.
[gasps] Oh, what's that? I like that.
-Thank you. -Cheers.
-Thanks. -[sighs]
Um, you won't be embarrassed of me,
the 18-year-old baby daddy?
No, never.
Just that it might make you look like a, um--
-Like what? Like a shit mum? -No, I wasn't gonna say that.
Well... [scoffs] it might.
[scoffs] No, 'cause I'm not a shit mum, and anyway,
they're not like that. That's the point.
-"There are no arseholes." -No arseholes.
So, uh, how long are you with us again?
-Uh, just for one more night. -Right.
Yeah. Maya's cousins go back up to Glasgow tomorrow, I think,
so we get our bedroom back.
But I just, I really like being back in my old room
with my D&D all set up and the house just all quiet.
Mm. Well, there's gonna be four women cackling away
in the house today, so...
-Cackling, Mum? -Yeah.
[scoffs] I've never, ever heard you cackle.
I... I am a cackler.
-You're not a cackler. -I am.
Especially with these girls.
Maybe I'll go and get that pint with Gaz
-he keeps bothering me about. -Gaz? Really? What, Cokey Gaz?
He's a dick, Luke. We don't like him.
Well, no, he's off the coke now.
But he is... he's still a dick, so I'll just... stay in.
[exhales]
Well, I guess one harmless pint in the afternoon
-would be fine, wouldn't it? -[elevator bell dings]
[elevator door opens]
[sighs]
[indistinct conversation]
-Hi! -Hi!
Two at once! Instant party! Come in, come in. [laughs]
Bloody hell, it's gorgeous.
Many, many, many stairs, and glass.
So much glass and far too many sofas.
No one needs that many sofas. Stop talking, Ally. [laughs]
[gasps] I don't know why you didn't ever come here.
Oh, Evelyn came, and you went to hers once, right?
Oh. Oh, yes, that's right, yeah.
Yeah.
[laughter]
I walked out of the house one night
and checked straight into a Travelodge...
-[laughs] -...and ate cheese on the floor
in front of the telly for two days.
-[laughter continues] -Shit.
-Did you feel angry? -Oh, I felt mad, Bexy,
like mad as shit.
I slid down a wall once, you know, like...
You know how people do that in films?
-[laughing] Yes. -Like... Like Bette Davis.
Ah, I can't even remember why.
-[laughter] -Well, I was 39.
30-fucking-nine?
Oh, my God, that's so fucking unfair.
-Yeah. -I thought I was young.
Fuck the menopause.
[laughter]
Oh, this is what I've missed, us just being like this.
I love it so much. Right, I wanna know about your kids.
Tell me everything.
But first, would you like to have some wine?
Oh, no, thank you. It's a bit early.
Cup of tea would be nice, though.
Sure. Um, Shiloh, wine?
Um... Ooh. Tea for me too, please.
[chuckles]
You've gone to so much effort.
A tablecloth. It's very posh.
I don't think I've ever owned a tablecloth. [laughs]
Oh, no, I haven't gone to any effort.
-This--We always eat like this. -[song continues playing]
I've gone to so much fucking effort!
-[laughter] -We never eat like this,
and I bought that tablecloth this morning. [laughs]
I just wanted you to think that I was amazing.
Well, you are amazing.
I've always thought you were amazing.
I mean, you always made us...
well, I can't speak for you, Rebekah,
but you've always made me laugh.
You're Rebekah now? You're not Bexy anymore?
No. No one wants to be a five-foot, 50-year-old Bexy.
-[chuckles] -[doorbell rings]
Ooh! Evelyn.
-Hi! -Hello again!
Oh!
The reunion's happening. Come and see everyone.
When did you last see, um, Bex-- Re--
Sorry. Rebekah and Shiloh?
Oh, I couldn't... I couldn't honestly...
And look, they're... they're here.
-Put your stuff there. -Okay.
[indistinct conversation]
Here we are. Do feel free to try a muffin. [chuckles]
So, tell me about the kids.
Well, I never see Gem.
He's always, always out. You know, comes in at 6 a.m.,
and he wants to go everywhere, do everything.
Australia, Thailand, Texas.
-Texas? -Yeah. Austin.
"Austin's buzzing," he says. Like... [scoffs]
He really loves his life, but I do want him to start to focus.
-Like, you know, go to uni. -Yeah, but Shy, he's 18.
They should be doing that stuff. What were we doing at 18?
I'm not gonna tell you what I was doing.
-[laughter] -[Rebekah] Exactly.
-These are the fun years. -[Shiloh] Yeah!
[Rebekah] Make mistakes while they're still at home.
-Ally, have you got any wine? -Lord, yeah. [laughs]
I'm just gonna pop out for a quick rollie,
then I'd love a massive wine.
[footsteps approach]
-Here we go. [laughs] -Ah, thank you.
Oh, rollies and wine. You're my kinda gal.
I've never said "gal" before in my whole life.
Ah. It's so weird, all being together again,
but, like, nice weird.
Do you remember when we went to that breastfeeding clinic,
and I got stuck in the loo,
and the lactation consultant had to break me out?
Yeah. Well, sort of.
[laughs] We laughed about it for ages.
Do you know, I thought that was Shiloh.
No, it was me! [chuckles]
-Do you want one? -Oh, God, um, always, but, uh,
I went down a Google hole about smoking on HRT, so...
Oh, yeah. That's why I don't do HRT.
-'Cause I love smoking. -[laughs]
Only joking. No, I am doing it, but I'm doing it naturally,
you know, mushroom tea, seeds, all that crap.
And smoking. God, I'm a massive hypocrite.
[chuckles] I think I would have killed Paul
if I wasn't on HRT.
[exhales] Oh, um, you... you still with Paul, then?
I am, yeah.
Are you... Are you still with Abigail?
-I am. -She's so great.
-She is. -How is she?
[inhales deeply]
Very good, thank you. Yeah. [exhales deeply]
[inhales] I was telling my, um, kids how...
how brilliant you all are,
what a shame it is that we fell out of touch.
Do you know how... you know how in every group
-there's always a-- -[cellphone chiming]
That's Paul. I better... I better take this because
he's with his parents.
Just check everything's all right.
-Hi, love. Two secs. -[footsteps depart]
[Evelyn] ...just such a total arsehole.
-Who? -My boss.
-My boss is such an arsehole. -Awful person.
Oh, right. Do... Do you know them?
No, no. Just... just from what Shy was saying.
Right. Yeah.
So, you're happy, Ally?
Yeah. I mean... [laughs]
Yeah, I mean, it hasn't always been happy,
and we won't always be happy.
There's always fucking challenges, aren't there?
What... What sort of challenges?
Oh, just the normal stuff. The normal...
every family... stuff.
[door closes in distance]
Oh, that'll be Lukey. Luke.
[raises voice] Hi, love! Uh, we're just upstairs.
Give me a shout if you want anything.
-'Kay! -Oh, is he coming up to say hi?
Luke, come up and say hi!
So many stairs. [laughs]
Here he is.
Uh, this is Luke.
Although you've all met, obviously.
-Hello. -[Rebekah] Hello.
Hi. You're so tall, Luke.
-Am I? -[laughter]
We remember you as a teeny-tiny baba.
-Oh, don't embarrass him. -It's so good to see you.
Yeah, you... you, too.
How was Gaz and the pub?
Uh, yeah, I didn't end up seeing him in the end.
I just, um, just went for a nice stroll in the park.
Okay.
I'll make a cup of tea and go down and play, if that's okay?
Yes, absolutely. Yeah.
Cool. See you all.
-[Shiloh] See you! -[Rebekah] Bye.
-See you then. -Bye.
-Oh, he's adorable. -What a lovely young man.
"A nice stroll in the park."
[chuckles] What's he playing down there?
Uh, PlayStation or D&D.
It's Dungeons & Dragons.
It's like... it's roleplay.
Improvisation with elves.
Like in Stranger Things.
-Oh! -Oh.
[Evelyn] Yes, of course.
[Shiloh] That's really sweet that he still does that.
-[Evelyn] Oh, yeah. -Better that
than growing up too fast. You're very lucky.
It's not that sweet.
I think that lots of 30-year-olds play D&D, too.
Well, at least you know he's safe,
not like Sammy. I wish Sammy was innocent like that still.
My Gem's the same. His social life is crazy.
-Crazy. [chuckles] -What's Luke up to next?
He's down to the last few candidates for a place
on a music production course in Manchester.
It's a very, very prestigious course.
It's life-changing, potentially.
-Wow! -Yeah.
Good for him!
I went to the Adelphi. Manchester.
-Time of my life. -[chuckles]
-Frankie's off to uni. -[Luke] Mum?
Oh! Fucking hell. You made me jump, Luke. [chuckles]
-Yeah? -Can I have a quick word?
Yeah.
-Why are you lying, Mum? -I'm not lying.
-It's true about the course. -"What's Luke up to next?"
I'd have thought "becoming a dad"
would probably be the answer to that one.
I'm sorry. I was trying to--
Be someone else? Pretend that I'm someone else?
No, no, you're perfect just the way you are. I just...
[sighs] It's me. It's me that's not. I'm so sorry.
I knew you were embarrassed of me.
I'm not, Luke. I'm just a wanker.
I'm a massive, fucking wanker.
Sorry about that. Where were we?
-Um... Frankie and... -Ah, yeah, well,
she's got this hideous boyfriend, Sid.
Oh, he's dreadful. He likes himself
-way more than he likes Frankie. -[laughter]
How do you know that?
Um...
Ally--
You're still friends, aren't you?
Yes.
[inhales deeply] Yes. I'm gonna have a fucking muffin.
We've been friends since we last saw you.
[mouth full] Right, well, why did you pretend you weren't?
Well, we... we didn't want to. It was just you assumed.
Well, you could have corrected me.
Uh, excuse me, you two. Hello. Pipe up, please.
I'm so sorry, Ally.
[chuckles] Have you really been friends the entire time?
-Fucking hell. -You weren't on Facebook.
I'm still not on Facebook. Is that why we're not friends?
'Cause I'm not on fucking Facebook?
No. That... [sighs]
So, how often do you meet up?
Oh, fine. Leave this all to me. Yeah, cheers, girls.
Look, we used to meet up every week,
but now it's just every few months.
But, look, it was so good to bump into you.
But it was clear that you thought
that we weren't all still in touch.
But why did you bother coming?
You could have said you were busy.
-Oh, my God. -What is it?
I am... the arsehole.
What?
I'm the arsehole. That's why there isn't
an arsehole in the group, because I'm her.
You're not an arsehole, Ally. We really wanted to see you,
and we planned to tell you that we were still friends,
but... it just seemed...
I don't know... [sighs] so mean.
It's a bit mean to come to my house and lie to me.
That's mean.
-It is. -It is.
It really is.
So, why did you stop inviting me to things?
You're lovely, Ally.
[voice breaking] Why did you stop inviting me to things?
-Let's just say it. -Just say what?!
So, this is the picnic that you're talking about? [exhales]
Yeah. We were all hanging out in Regents Park.
Really sunny day.
Yeah, I remember. It was a beautiful day.
Paul and my David went to watch the bubble man
with the big wand thing.
Paul had put some money in the hat,
but the bubble man said, "Sorry, no more bubbles."
Right.
But Paul said he'd paid for bubbles.
But the bubble man insisted
and said he'd give Paul the money back.
-David was mortified. -And then... Paul...
[inhales sharply] called the bubble man a cunt.
Right, but was he one?
Well, he actually called him a bubble cunt.
I mean, I thought it was quite funny.
But, it was Abigail. She--
Ally, they were holding our babies.
So? They didn't understand, did they?
And it sounds like the bubble guy was being a cunt.
If someone's paid for bubbles, then give them
some fucking bubbles. It's not hard.
The point is, Paul said it often.
He was always swearing or shouting, raging away.
We just found it a bit much. He...
He was a bit much.
Right. But it was only one time.
There were some other times, Ally.
But you like me?
We thought if we'd came,
maybe you'd have split up, or he'd changed.
Oh, we did almost split up, actually.
And he can be an arsehole, but so can I.
He's al-- He's also... He's a fucking wonderful person,
and he doesn't shout that much anymore.
[sighs]
God, he's my best... he's my best mate.
And it's not like I'm Kate fucking Middleton, is it?
You have said "fuck" about 60 times.
[Evelyn] It's not about swearing.
I remember Paul didn't seem to like us much either.
That's just a thing that he does.
[sighs] Well, I'm gutted.
I'm gutted, too. All these years,
I could have been making you shit muffins.
Fuck it. Come on. Let's just start again,
pick up from where we left off.
That's nice of you. It is, but I...
I can't pretend that Paul doesn't exist, because he does,
and he will probably say "cunt" in front of a baby again
because he loves the word "cunt."
And maybe even Luke's baby...
[raises voice] because Luke is having a baby.
Yeah, I've been talking shit all day, too.
That's what Luke is up to next.
He is becoming an 18-year-old dad.
He doesn't live here anymore.
He just comes back to chill out
and be a Dungeon Master.
So, we've all been lying.
[clicks tongue] But I've been the best at it.
Let's do this again. I mean, not exactly this,
but let's not leave it so long.
Yeah. Okay. See ya.
-Okay. Bye, Ally. -Bye.
[under breath] Yeah, he can be an arsehole.
But I love my arsehole!
[under breath] Sorry, kids.
-[mouth full] No, I didn't. -Yeah, you did.
When I was really little.
I'm pretty sure it was only last year.
-Oh, ha ha. [laughs] -[laughs]
[Luke and Ava continue conversation indistinctly]
-Hey, hon. -Hey.
[inhales deeply] What you looking at?
Houses. We're moving to Reading.
-[scoffs] Reading? -Mm-hmm.
Right. But you... you know Susie's not staying in Reading.
-She's coming back. -But she can't come back yet.
She can't just up and leave her parish, Paul.
Okay, so we're... we're temporarily moving to Reading?
Yes. No. I don't know.
Would... Would you like me to drive you to Reading tomorrow?
Yes, please.
-Or you could even drive. -I could.
[Ava] It's 26 minutes from Paddington to Reading, Mum.
-I just looked. -There you go.
-Thank you. -[sighs deeply]
I'm gonna get another one of your muffins.
They're fucking incredible.
-Having another one? -[Paul] I'm coming in again.
-[Ava] He's having another one. -[Paul] All right.
[inhales and exhales deeply]
[under breath] Fucking arsehole.