[laughter]
[pop music playing]
[indistinct conversations]
[music continues]
[indistinct conversations, laughter continue]
[music continues]
[sobbing]
[Paul] It's okay.
It's all right. Just let it out.
-[Luke sobs] -[Paul] Okay.
-Hey. -[Paul] Hi. You all right?
-[Luke] Yeah. -I ordered you, uh,
an espresso and a croissant. Is that okay?
Oh, yeah, thanks. I'll need that.
We had a killer night with Jay last night.
-He's just not sleeping at all. -Hmm.
And then he was sick in his fucking car seat
on the way back from shopping, and it went all down the side.
Yeah. No, I can... I can imagine, you know?
-[scoffs] Sorry. -Look, I know you're meant
to be heading back to Manchester tomorrow,
but I just... [inhales deeply] um...
I needed to tell you something.
Okay.
If you want to defer your place for two years,
then you can.
What?
An old mate of mine works at your college,
and, yes, there will be a place for you in two years
if you need to drop out now.
-[laughs] -[chuckles]
That's amazing news. Oh, my... Thank you so much.
No, you're welcome. Yeah.
This is a lifesaver. [laughs]
-I need to call Maya. -Yeah, go ahead.
[sighs] Dad, you are an absolute star.
You are an absolute, fucking star. [laughs]
You dick, Paul. You total fucking bastard.
He was gonna quit completely, Ally,
if they wouldn't let him defer.
But deferring, quitting, it's the same thing.
He'll get a job now, and he'll never go back to studying.
Well, things might be different in two years.
How? He will still be a dad. He'll be a dad to a toddler,
so he'll wanna be away in Manchester
even less than he does now.
No, you don't know that for sure.
-I do know that. -Okay.
Luke has just thrown his future away.
Actually, you know what, Paul?
You have just thrown his future away.
-Oh! Fuck off. -You fuck off.
I did what I thought was best for Luke.
Yeah, and you completely ignored
what I thought was best for Luke.
Yes.
Jesus Christ.
You unilaterally made a decision that we had not agreed on.
I don't know where this is coming from, right?
-I was in the car with him. -[Ally] Yeah.
You weren't. He was gonna quit college.
I had to make a decision there and then.
A unilateral decision. You could have called me
before you spoke to this Andrew bloke.
Yeah, I could have done, but I--
But you decided to unilaterally do
-what you wanted to do. -You're overusing
-the word "unilateral." -I know I am.
[footsteps descend stairs]
[Ally] Hi. Hi, Grace. Uh, I didn't know...
I had no idea you were here.
Yeah, Ava and I have been here most of the morning. [sighs]
Oh, um, I didn't hear a peep out of either you or Ava.
[Grace] We've just been reading.
I don't think we've said much to each other
apart from "hi" and "goodbye." [chuckles] It's nice.
That is nice, actually.
Anyway, Ava's meeting Holly for lunch, so I'm off.
Aw.
-Thank you for having me. -Yeah. Very welcome.
-I've been the perfect hostess. -[cellphone chimes]
-[laughter] -See you soon.
-[Paul] Cheers. -[Ally] See you, lovely.
-Grace, bye now. -[Ally] Bye-bye.
[sighs]
[front door opens and closes]
-Got a text from Dad. -Is everything all right?
Yeah, I don't know. His predictive text
is always so fucking mad.
Uh, "You mama lost the god on and week need to help a time."
-Yeah, that is nonsense. -Mm. [inhales deeply]
Might be about your mum's health.
-Hmm? What do you mean? -Your dad
popped around when you were in Manchester.
He, um, he was worried about your mum
'cause she didn't know where she was the other day.
-Wh-- Why didn't he tell me? -He didn't want to worry you.
I said that I would tell you if it came up because
we don't tell lies to each other.
Hmm. Uh, I'll go and see what's what.
Send my love.
-[front door closes] -[exhales deeply]
[Holly] Brighton is like all the best parts of London
squashed together, and there's a beach.
Do you think you might go back there to do any more shifts?
Better than that. They reckon there might be
a permanent position for me there very soon.
So, you might move down to Brighton?
It's not that far. Less than an hour on the train.
Should we go now?
Cheeky trip to Brighton? Come on. I'm so bored.
-I wanna do something. -I'm not sure. [chuckles]
Ava, come on. We never do anything these days.
We do. This is doing something.
This is just more sitting about. Let's go to Brighton right now.
We can go out tonight and stay in a shitty B&B
like we're nans. [laughs]
-Sure. Yeah. Okay. Great. -[laughs]
Finish your chips. You're full.
-I do not want any more chips. -[Holly laughs]
"You mama lost the god on and week need to help a time."
-Is that what I wrote? -Yes.
I put it through an Enigma machine,
but it blew up and metal springs went everywhere. [sighs]
-[folds glasses] -What I meant to say was,
"Your mum had left the gas on, and we need to talk."
Left the gas on? For how long?
-Five hours. -Christ. [inhales deeply]
I knew she'd been getting a bit forgetful, but...
Like I said to Ally,
I think she's gone the same way me mum did.
[clicks teeth] Okay.
Do we need to take her and get a diagnosis or...
No, she won't see any doctors.
She doesn't want it confirmed.
She's terrified, Paul.
[clicks teeth] So, uh, what can I do to help?
-What do you both need? -I'm gonna care for her.
Do all the cookin' and the cleanin'
and the washin' and all that.
Dad, that's lovely, but you can't do any of those things.
You've never cooked anything except toast
in your entire life.
Well, I thought you could teach us.
You're a great cook.
I'd have to start from scratch, though. The absolute basics.
Yeah. Yeah, let's try that.
-You've never chopped an onion? -No.
What did you eat when Mum was in the hospital
-giving birth to me? -[inhales deeply]
Chips from the fish shop. Toast.
Cheese roll at the pub.
Battered saveloy from the fish shop.
Lots of cream crackers and butter.
Mince and potatoes at the pub.
That does sound brilliant, actually.
Well, uh, look, here... here's an onion.
Everything starts with an onion.
Everything? Not literally everything.
No, the First World War didn't start with an onion.
That was more complicated,
but lots and lots of meals start with an onion.
So, what do I do with it?
And don't say, "Shove it up your arse."
[laughs] Well, if... if that option's off the table,
then, uh, you want to start by just slicing the top off.
Which is the top? The hairy bit?
Ah, no, the other end.
The... The hairy bit's the root. So, if you...
-Ooh, not that much. [laughs] -[knife clatters]
-Sorry. -That's okay. It's all right.
Uh... uh... so if...
Yeah. Turn it round, and, um, we're gonna
cut the, uh, the root off.
-[Jim] The hairy bit? -[Paul] The hairy bit, yeah.
Yeah, but, um, you know, try...
try and cut off as little as possible.
Well, that's not enough, Dad. [chuckles] That's...
Yeah, bit more in.
That's far too fucking much, isn't it?
-Sorry. Sorry, Paul. -It's all right. It's all right.
Tr--Try taking the skin off
Yeah, so you can use your fingers.
You know, you can use your finger.
Put the knife down. Yeah, brilliant.
[Paul] Just the outer layer. That's quite a lot of layers.
-Sorry, sorry. -Fucking hell. [laughs]
-What's happening? -Oh, my. Oh.
Paul's teaching us how to cook.
What made you think that was a good idea?
Christ Almighty. You'll cock it up, Jim.
Paul will shout at you. You'll tell him to eff off.
There's knives lying about. One of you will commit murder.
If you want to learn to cook, Jim, Ava will teach you.
So, do I just chop up what's left?
-No, step away from the onion. -[knife clatters]
y to see you, Paul.-Yeah, you too, Mum.
Dad mentioned that, uh... things, uh, that...
that it's been a bit difficult at the minute.
Well, I'm going doolally, Paul, like Jim's mum did.
Round the bend and up the pictures.
I'm tending to stay
-around here these days. -Mm-hmm.
I can get a bit discombobulated if I go out.
Okay.
But you... you... you still seem like you, though.
-Yeah, most of the time I am. -Mm.
Then sometimes...
like yesterday,
Jim told me I kept looking for the dog, for Biddy.
Yeah, I was upset that
-I couldn't find her anywhere. -Mm.
I suppose I must have thought she needed feeding
or... or taking for a walk.
You do know that Biddy died in, like, 1981, right? [laughs]
-No, I know, love. -Whew! [chuckles]
-Yeah, I do know. -Yeah.
But also...
sometimes, I... I just don't.
I love you, Mum. Always love you.
I love you, too, sweetheart.
[laughs]
[Sunil] It's just a small one-bed place.
Yeah, but it's in a sweet little street in Streatham Hill.
Lots of window boxes
and Neighbourhood Watch stickers. [chuckles]
-I think it'd be really good... -Yeah.
...for Luke and Maya to have their own place, wouldn't it?
-They need privacy and space. -[Paul] Mm-hmm.
The rent won't be cheap, though. We can contribute.
-[Meena chuckles] -There's no need, really.
You're paying for Jay's naming party.
Yeah, but that's hardly comparable. [laughs]
You're welcome to contribute, Ally, but we're more than happy
to cover it all ourselves, aren't we?
Wow, thank you. Yeah, that'd be... that'd be amazing.
The landlord's a mate, so it's only hugely expensive
rather than hideously.
[laughter]
Luke was telling me that he's joined an agency
for catering shifts.
-Catering? -You know, waiting tables,
kitchen portering, that sort of stuff.
Yeah, no, I... I know... I know what it is.
He just... He didn't mention that.
-Well, it's flexible. -Yeah.
Ideally, he can do shifts that fit in with the baby
and Maya's studying.
Right, because he's not doing any studying himself.
Mm.
Has everybody had enough to eat?
-It was great. Thank you, Meena. -I'm fine, thanks.
-Okay. -Mm.
-[Sunil clears throat] -Brilliant.
Of course we should pay towards the rent.
They said they'd cover it.
That's 'cause they're polite people.
I'm worried about our money, Ally.
Dad's not gonna be able to look after Mum much longer.
So, that means we're gonna have to pay for carers
and possibly a nursing home.
That's, what, 70 grand a year, minimum? It's mad money.
Yeah, we're not there yet, are we?
Plus, Luke and Maya are gonna need to be subbed,
apart from the rent. That's energy bills, phone,
Council Tax, then Ava's gonna go off to uni.
-Never thought of you as mean. -The fuck?
[Paul] Uh, I just don't want us to have to work till we're 75.
I... I would like to stop working at some point.
You enjoy your job.
Yeah, I enjoy Taramasalata, hon,
but I don't want to be compelled to eat it until I die.
Well, if you don't want to pay towards the rent,
then that's fine, but I will.
Oh, smooth. Yeah, so I look like the cunt.
Fab. Thanks, man.
-[Ava] Oh, hi. -Hey.
I was just going to see Granddad,
give him his first cookery lesson.
-Ah. Well, have fun. -Thank you.
-Is everything all right? -No, not really. [exhales]
-I'm sorry. -Oh...
So, I forgot to got to ask. How was Brighton?
Yeah. Great.
I haven't been there for ages. Had you planned to go or...
No, no, it was totally spontaneous.
Holly said, "Let's go," and we went.
Oh, she really knows how to sweep someone off their feet.
It looks like she's going to move down to Brighton for good.
Oh. Wow. How do you feel about that?
I don't know.
Well, if you really love each other,
-then you'll make it work. -Yeah.
Mum, who was the first person you ever said "I love you" to?
Steve Watts. We were 15 and a half.
-Did you mean it? -No. I mean, in that moment,
yes, yes, I did.
Well, it's the most powerful thing you can ever say, I think.
Mm.
I want to really mean it when I say it.
And you will, sweetheart.
And you'll know when it feels right to say it, too.
-Yeah, I will. -[Ally] Mm.
Thanks, Mum.
[chuckles]
-I love you. -I love you.
-[chuckles] -See ya later.
See ya.
Time for your lesson, Granddad.
-Right you are. -Good luck.
-Thanks. -I meant Ava.
[Jim] This is like I've learned a magic trick.
I've baked a spud and made an omelet. [laughs]
[Ava] You and Granny should share it.
[Ava] Granny?
Granny?
She's not here.
No one's seen her. She hasn't been in the lounge all day.
She hasn't been outside of here on her own for weeks
because it worries her. She can forget where she is.
How long since you last saw her?
How long did that potato take?
80 minutes.
-Hey, any news? -No, she's not here.
Right. Dad, any idea where she might have gone?
Anything she said that might give a clue?
She has been talking a lot recently
about our old dog Biddy.
Should we go and have look up where we scattered the ashes?
-Yeah. Okay. Thank you. -You're welcome.
[Jim] She loved that dog.
-Yeah, me, too. -Can't see Granny.
[Jim] This was the spot where we scattered Biddy.
-[Paul] Yeah. -[Jim] She loved to swim.
Your mum got very upset
because some ducks tried to eat the ashes.
[cellphone ringing]
It's... It's Alison.
Hey, Alison. Any news?
Oh, brilliant.
[sighs] Fantastic. Thank you so much.
-She's back at home. -Thank God.
Yeah, we're headed back now. See you soon.
I only popped up the supermarket for a few odds and sods.
Yeah, we were worried, Mum.
I'm not completely barmy yet, Paul.
I have still got some marbles,
and I can still go out and about if I fancy it.
I need some independence,
and you all need to calm down a bit.
Maybe we did overreact a bit, but it's difficult.
It absolutely fucking is,
'cause she's been out and got confused before now.
She said so herself, so it's reasonable to be worried.
Hang on, is that an omelet?
-And I did a baked spud. Look. -[Paul chuckles]
Yes, you did. Good work, Heston.
[Ava chuckles]
[Jay crying]
[sighs] Do... Do we try just leaving him?
You mean controlled crying? No, I... I can't do that.
No, I just... I mean,
maybe we don't immediately go pick him up.
He's six months now, should be sleeping more than this.
Fucking torture.
[Jay continues crying in distance]
[sighs heavily]
[crying continues]
I can't stand it. [sighs]
[crying continues]
Fucking hell.
[crying continues]
[pop music playing over speakers]
Top up?
[music continues]
-Hi, Ally. -Oh.
I just wanted you to be the first to know
that Siobhan and I are engaged to be married...to each other.
-Oh! That's amazing news. -[laughs]
Well, how... how... how's she getting on with the twins?
Oh, brilliantly. They love her.
Oh, wow. So, what's her secret?
Very early on, she yelled at them a few times
to, "Go on, fucking fuck yourselves
to the top of the fucking Shard." [laughs]
And now they're as good as gold.
[laughs] Wow. Well, she's a natural mother.
-Yeah. -So, when's the wedding?
Uh, soon. Just a registry office.
I did the big wedding thing when Karen and I first got together.
Stately home, string quartet, fireworks, ABBA.
So, did ABBA play at your wedding?
No, ABBA tribute. "Bjorn Yesterday."
-[chuckles] -[Darren] Very good.
The Benny one, um, looked like he should be on a register,
-but they sounded great. -That's what matters. [laughs]
[chuckles]
[pop music continues playing]
-One thing... -Hmm.
...about this, you know, whatever it is I've got,
is that it makes your memories of years ago very sharp.
-Mm-hmm. -Well, I was just thinking
about a girl I was at primary school with, Angela Barker,
and we used to call her...
♪♪ Angela Barker, squashed tomater ♪♪
Why?
I don't know.
I mean, it's not very funny, is it?
And she didn't look like a tomato.
She was a pretty little thing.
That's probably why we called her names--jealous.
Her parents were Methodists.
Right. [chuckles]
I'm rambling. [laughs]
Well, you've always done that, Mum.
There's no change there, eh? [chuckles]
-How's Dad's cooking coming on? -Oh, very good. Yeah, he made
a lovely roast chicken breast yesterday...
-Mm. -...with oven chips
and broccoli. Mm, beautiful.
Hang on. Sorry. [chuckles] Dad cooks broccoli?
I know. [laughs]
It's a bit like saying Dad does modern dance.
[laughs] Fuckin' hell.
-Oh. Now, here we go. -[Luke sighs]
I've never done that before. I didn't think it would work.
Uh, so...
Uh, so we thought about having a... a naming ceremony for Jay,
uh, with speeches and everything.
-Poems and readings. -Yeah.
-But then we... we thought,
you know, we might be parents, but we're still teenagers,
and we would hate to sit through all that bollocks.
[laughter]
But this is still a naming party,
and the only formal thing we'll ask you to do right now
is to raise a glass... [chuckles]
-Thank you. -[Luke] Okay.
[Maya] And toast to our beautiful baby,
Jay Nikam-Worsley.
[all] Jay Nikam-Worsley.
-[glasses clink] -[guest] Aw.
-[guest #2] Whoo-hoo! -[guest #3 whistles]
[cheering]
[applause]
[Ava] I was, um, watching you and Granny the other day,
just sitting together, not saying anything.
Does that happen more now that Granny's getting ill?
No, no.
We've always done it.
That's true love, isn't it?
Being in the same room and not needing to say a word.
You don't have to be spouting sonnets
in a gondola in Venice to be romantic.
You can stay in your own front room in Stockwell
with a Daily Mirror and your gob shut.
[both chuckle]
Shall I go and get the cake?
[cellphone rings]
[Ava] Hi, Holly. How's it going?
[chuckles] Yeah.
Well, I'm... I'm sorry, hon, that things have all
got a bit, uh, drastic between us.
[pop music playing over speakers]
-It's just that I-- -No, look, I get it. I do.
We spent years looking after the kids.
Now we're looking after our mums,
but we're still looking after our kids, so...
-when is it gonna be our time? -Never.
-No. -It's never our time.
Well, it was our time in our 20s, and no one told us.
-[chuckles] -I think the government
should hand out a leaflet to everyone
as they're turning 24, saying, "This is it, folks.
This is the time. You better enjoy it, for Christ's sake."
[Jay wailing in distance]
Wouldn't do those two poor bastards much good, would it?
[wailing]
[Paul] No.
[Jay continues wailing]
Uh, I'm gonna get a bit of food.
-You all right? -Uh, yeah, fine, thanks. Fine.
Well, this is all very splendid, isn't it?
Mm. Yeah, but everyone's a bit fraught underneath it all.
Oh, you and Paul bickering again?
No, we're not bickering.
We're having a massive fucking row.
[laughs]
-Come on. -Of course, sorry.
Jim and Jackie are having problems with Jackie's health,
and Luke and Maya seem exhausted,
and Ava's finding out about love with Holly.
Very complicated lives.
-Whereas you... -[laughter]
I avoid relationships like the plague.
As a result, I am as happy as Larry,
live in a beautiful house, and I'm loaded.
Wow. There is a moral in there somewhere.
[laughs]
-[crying] -Oh, dear. What's the matter?
-[Jim] What is it, little fella? -[Maya] Hey, Jay.
[wailing continues]
Now, I wanted to give you this.
[wailing continues]
-[Jim] It's a cake. -[wailing continues]
-Aw. -A naming day cake.
Granddad made it.
-Oh, wow. -[Maya] That's amazing.
-Thank you, Jim. Wow. -[chuckles]
Thanks.
-[Jay continues wailing] -[Ava] Sorry. Excuse me.
I just have to go tell someone I love them.
[Jay continues wailing]
-[Maya] Hey. Shh, please. -[cake tin clatters]
I'm going to, uh, I'm gonna take him out in his buggy,
-try and get him to sleep. -[Maya] Okay, okay, okay.
-[wailing continues] -Come on.
-[Grace] Ava. Hi. -Grace.
[chuckles] I just texted you.
I need to leave now to get to my sister's dinner.
It's been a lovely party.
Okay. I just wanted to, uh, say something before you go.
Um...
I wanted to say I love you.
And I'm sorry to spring it on you in a mad way.
And I don't know if you like girls or boys or both
or neither, but I just need to tell you I love you,
and I love being with you, but more than just a friend.
I thought I loved Holly, and she thought she might love me,
but I don't think we do,
but it made me realize that I love you.
And you don't have to respond to this.
In fact, don't until you've thought about it,
but I love you, and that's it, and thank you.
But you've not got that kind of money, Paul.
Yeah, we'll... we'll find it. Whatever you need.
You know, carers, a home.
You coming to live with us, you know?
We'll... We'll make it work, right?
-You're not on your own, Dad. -Thanks, son.
Is it me, or is it a bit parky in here?
Well, I'm warmed by booze, so I'm not the one to ask.
I think my cardie's in your car, Paul.
You couldn't fetch it for me, could you?
-Yeah. Yeah, of course. -Thanks.
You know, I might try baking bread now I've done a cake.
Oh, well, the world's your oyster.
Might do oysters as well, fuck it.
Maybe you should sit down.
That's it. Come on.
[Jackie] We can look after each other. [chuckles]
-Come on. Shh, shh, shh, shh. -[wailing]
Stop it now. Come on. Let's stop crying now.
-Just go to sleep. -[continues wailing]
Yeah. Just please go to sleep, Jay.
[Jay continues wailing]
Just go to fucking sleep, Jay!
-[Jay crying] -[panting]
[Jay continues crying]
How could I shout at him like that?
Easily, mate.
Easily.
They drive you to the edge of sanity
and then push you off the fucking cliff.
[babbling]
You don't even know you have that rage inside you,
-and then suddenly... -[punches palm]
...wallop.
-Please don't tell Maya. -No, I'm not going to.
I think you need a break, mate...
...to recharge
and, you know, recalibrate.
Why don't me and Mum take Jay for a couple of days?
-No, it's okay. -You... You still see him
in the days if... if you want to.
But, you know, just a couple of nights
and a couple of evenings to yourselves.
You know, have... have a pizza,
have a lie-in. [scoffs]
-I'll speak to Maya. -Mm-hmm.
Look, mate, I... I...
I really do know that you feel like you're
in the fucking middle of the spin dryer
with everything in the world,
but... I'm telling you, mate, a couple of nights, just rest.
It'll do wonders. Trust me.
Thank you. Really, thanks. Thank you.
It's okay. [chuckles]
[Jay cooing]
[Jay crying in distance]
[sighs]
[crying continues]
It's just after 3:00.
Whose turn is it to get up? [sighs]
[inhales deeply] I think it's mine.
No, it's... I think it's my turn, isn't... isn't it?
It's fine. You just, uh, go back to sleep.
[sighs]
Well, I'm awake now anyway, so...
So am I. [inhales deeply]
[grunts]
[sighs]
Shall we both go?
-[Jay continues crying] -[chuckles]
[Paul grunts]
[Ally] Coming, Jay.
[Paul sighs] Noisy little fucker.
[Paul sighs]