1 00:00:06,521 --> 00:00:09,741 [window motor whirring] 2 00:00:20,622 --> 00:00:21,710 Luke, can you stop doing that, mate? 3 00:00:25,105 --> 00:00:27,281 What the fuck is wrong with you, Luke? 4 00:00:28,673 --> 00:00:31,850 I'm asking you a question. What the fuck is wrong with you? 5 00:00:31,894 --> 00:00:35,028 -Sorry. It was just a bit... -No, sure. 6 00:00:35,071 --> 00:00:37,204 [clears throat] Thank you. Appreciate it. 7 00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,603 -Shall we put some music on? -Yeah. 8 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:48,084 -Mmm. -[speaks indistinctly] 9 00:00:49,781 --> 00:00:52,132 -You in? -Yeah. 10 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:53,872 -[blues music playing] -[chuckles] 11 00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:56,571 -Nice one, mate. -Yeah. 12 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,401 It's going to be a good day. 13 00:01:01,271 --> 00:01:03,404 ♪ I just can't help it 14 00:01:03,447 --> 00:01:07,364 ♪ When we dance real close, you see ♪ 15 00:01:07,408 --> 00:01:09,497 ♪ I just can't help it 16 00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,716 [Ally] Ahh-- Ooh! 17 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,370 Ah, here it comes. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. 18 00:01:13,414 --> 00:01:16,721 -Get the sign up, Luke. [cheering] 19 00:01:16,765 --> 00:01:18,897 -Isn't this a bit stupid? -Yeah, it is 20 00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:20,856 but so are lots of things, and we do them anyway. 21 00:01:20,899 --> 00:01:22,945 -Hey! [laughs] -Hey! 22 00:01:24,686 --> 00:01:26,253 Ohh! 23 00:01:26,296 --> 00:01:27,732 -Darling! -Welcome back home, Mom! 24 00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:29,908 [Paul] Nice to see you. Nice to see you. 25 00:01:29,952 --> 00:01:31,823 Hi, Alex! How was the honeymoon? 26 00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:36,611 It was amazing. We had a villa with a pool. 27 00:01:36,654 --> 00:01:38,874 The views were breathtaking. 28 00:01:38,917 --> 00:01:42,834 -And Croatia looked okay too. -Oh, you old dog! 29 00:01:42,878 --> 00:01:44,923 Croatia has had such a troubled history. 30 00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:47,143 -But it's so lovely and sunny. -That's what-- that's what matters. 31 00:01:47,187 --> 00:01:51,016 We took a boat trip to the island of Brac. 32 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:54,846 Amazing. Sky and sea almost the same color. 33 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:57,022 Come and have a coffee and tell us all about it. 34 00:01:57,066 --> 00:01:58,241 Hey, Alex, can I help with the cases? 35 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,156 No, I think I'm good. 36 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,115 Maybe if you just bring in Leah's handbag. 37 00:02:02,158 --> 00:02:03,507 Oh, yes. Yeah, sure. 38 00:02:07,424 --> 00:02:10,601 Fuck. Shit. Shit. 39 00:02:10,645 --> 00:02:14,779 Fucking hell. Ooh. Ally! 40 00:02:14,823 --> 00:02:16,477 -Ally! -Yeah? 41 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,305 -[wheezing] -Oh! 42 00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:20,742 So, we meet again, Mr. Bond. 43 00:02:20,785 --> 00:02:23,005 No, no, seriously. I've done my back. Can you help me, please? 44 00:02:23,048 --> 00:02:25,181 God, I'm so sorry. Luke, get the bag! 45 00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:27,531 -Hold me up. -Yeah, okay. Get your Dad's bag. 46 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,708 -Ow! Fucking hell, Luke! -Sorry, I was just trying to-- 47 00:02:30,752 --> 00:02:32,797 I don't care! All right, I don't care! Okay. 48 00:02:32,841 --> 00:02:35,800 Nobody touch me. Nobody touch me. Thank you very much. 49 00:02:35,844 --> 00:02:37,541 [inhales] 50 00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:39,935 [groaning] 51 00:02:39,978 --> 00:02:42,807 This is the worst it's ever been. 52 00:02:42,851 --> 00:02:45,288 It's like having a hot poker running 53 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,030 from my arsehole to my eyebrows. 54 00:02:48,073 --> 00:02:50,641 -Is this the one? -That's it. Granny's drug bag. 55 00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:53,035 Jesus Christ, Mom! Are you an army medic? 56 00:02:53,078 --> 00:02:56,212 You don't get to my age without accumulating a few pills and potions. 57 00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:57,996 This one's very nice. Very mellow. 58 00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,998 Goes well with a white wine. 59 00:03:00,042 --> 00:03:01,609 And this one's an absolute beast. 60 00:03:01,652 --> 00:03:03,263 Don't walk too far on that. 61 00:03:03,306 --> 00:03:05,352 It turns the world into a sort of maze. 62 00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:07,571 Stop it, Mom! Paul, you need to see a doctor. 63 00:03:07,615 --> 00:03:10,487 An actual doctor. Not Dr. Trainspotting here. 64 00:03:10,531 --> 00:03:14,926 I can't go to the doctor if I can't fucking move, can I? 65 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:18,016 Mm. Ah! I'm so sorry about this, Leah. 66 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:19,409 This was meant to be your-- 67 00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:21,846 Fucking Ada! Your moment. 68 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:24,936 -[groans] -Oh. So the honeymoon. 69 00:03:24,980 --> 00:03:26,416 How was it? 70 00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:27,722 Awful. 71 00:03:27,765 --> 00:03:29,811 -What? -[Leah] Alex is too nice. 72 00:03:29,854 --> 00:03:32,422 He's lovely to everybody all the fucking time. 73 00:03:32,466 --> 00:03:34,598 Always smiling, always chatting, 74 00:03:34,642 --> 00:03:36,774 listening to everyone's boring life stories. 75 00:03:36,818 --> 00:03:38,254 It can't have been that bad. 76 00:03:38,298 --> 00:03:39,951 It was. I'm married to Jesus 77 00:03:39,995 --> 00:03:41,344 and now I know why they crucified him. 78 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,433 Stop it, Mom! He's gonna hear you. 79 00:03:43,477 --> 00:03:45,522 No, he won't. He's out there putting his silly car to bed. 80 00:03:45,566 --> 00:03:47,959 He wouldn't hear a suicide bomb. 81 00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:51,136 Oh, there he goes. Testing the horn. 82 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:53,530 What's the time? We need to go and get Ava from church group. 83 00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:56,533 -No, no, stay there. -No, it's fine. I think I'll be okay. 84 00:03:56,577 --> 00:03:59,057 Just give me some... I don't wanna be late for her. 85 00:03:59,101 --> 00:04:01,190 [Leah] Take lots more codeine, Paul. 86 00:04:01,234 --> 00:04:03,801 200 milligrams. Just an aperitif. 87 00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:06,021 I'll take these out. These and painkillers. 88 00:04:06,064 --> 00:04:07,501 you'll start talking to your own ghost. 89 00:04:07,544 --> 00:04:10,678 Otherwise, pick and mix, whatever it takes. 90 00:04:10,721 --> 00:04:12,984 -Stop dealing drugs, Mom. -Phew! 91 00:04:13,028 --> 00:04:14,986 Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 92 00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:26,694 So has, um--God. Has Leah been on opioids 93 00:04:26,737 --> 00:04:28,696 the whole time I've known her? 94 00:04:28,739 --> 00:04:30,567 Christ, what would she be like if she hadn't been? 95 00:04:30,611 --> 00:04:33,178 Oh, shit, it's gone five. I'm gonna drop you guys off 96 00:04:33,222 --> 00:04:35,050 and then I'm gonna go and get Ava from church group. 97 00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:37,574 Luke, don't forget to do the dishwasher. It's your job. 98 00:04:37,618 --> 00:04:39,881 -[groans] Oh, God almighty! -Speed bump! Sorry. 99 00:04:39,924 --> 00:04:41,448 -Not your fault. -I was going a bit fast. 100 00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:42,797 Okay, it's your fault. 101 00:04:50,195 --> 00:04:54,112 -Luke! Luke! -Yeah. 102 00:04:54,156 --> 00:04:57,420 [groans] Mate, can you get me a glass of water? 103 00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,816 -Okay. How's your back? -Oh, still shit, if I'm honest. 104 00:05:01,859 --> 00:05:06,342 I don't think Granny Leah's magic drug bag is working. 105 00:05:06,386 --> 00:05:10,868 Cheers, mate. Could you do the dishwasher, as well, Mom said... 106 00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:13,044 [Luke] Can I do it later? I've got to do my history project. 107 00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:15,482 Oh, yeah. No problem. 108 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:18,572 Luke, grab a drink, will you? Come and hang out for a bit. 109 00:05:18,615 --> 00:05:21,357 -There's only beers in here. -Have a beer then. You're nearly 15. 110 00:05:21,401 --> 00:05:24,229 -I'm 13. -I know. 111 00:05:27,755 --> 00:05:29,060 Attaboy. 112 00:05:30,584 --> 00:05:32,020 Cheers. 113 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:36,241 -Sit down. -But my project. 114 00:05:36,285 --> 00:05:38,592 Don't worry about that. I'll help you. 115 00:05:40,594 --> 00:05:43,336 Ahh. Sit down. Watch a bit of telly. 116 00:05:43,379 --> 00:05:46,643 Chill out, man. Chillax. 117 00:05:46,687 --> 00:05:49,951 People used to say that, didn't they? Twat-people. 118 00:05:49,994 --> 00:05:53,868 Come on. I won't bite. I've just having some trouble with me coccyx. 119 00:05:53,911 --> 00:05:55,478 Mmm! Missus. 120 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,002 Where's the zapper? 121 00:06:01,266 --> 00:06:03,965 Oh, Daffy. A little bit of Daffy. 122 00:06:04,008 --> 00:06:06,837 A little bit of Daffy. 123 00:06:06,881 --> 00:06:09,536 Here's one. What do you call an exploding duck? 124 00:06:09,579 --> 00:06:13,148 -What? -It's a joke. Ask me. 125 00:06:13,191 --> 00:06:16,586 Oh, I don't know. What do you call an exploding duck? 126 00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:19,197 A fire-quacker. [laughs] 127 00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:24,246 [wheezing laugh] 128 00:06:24,289 --> 00:06:26,988 [laughing louder] 129 00:06:27,031 --> 00:06:31,384 Oh, God. That is fucking funny. 130 00:06:31,427 --> 00:06:35,779 He's a fucking fire-quacker. Oh, man. 131 00:06:35,823 --> 00:06:39,392 Yeah. Better have another... 132 00:06:39,435 --> 00:06:42,090 Although to be fair, I'm not sure they're working... 133 00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:45,572 [grunts] ...at all. 134 00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:48,749 Placebos, I think. 135 00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:52,187 [sniffles] Placebos. 136 00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:58,889 P-- Plah-seee-bohz. 137 00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:04,112 Here are. The Queen! 138 00:07:21,999 --> 00:07:25,481 Right. I think we're on. There we go. 139 00:07:25,525 --> 00:07:27,178 It's "Hamilton" in the making. 140 00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:29,920 -Love it! -[laughs] 141 00:07:29,964 --> 00:07:32,575 Nice turn and corner. 142 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,882 You might get a permanent job here, you know-- 143 00:07:34,925 --> 00:07:36,492 Mom! 144 00:07:36,536 --> 00:07:38,146 -Hi! -Hi. 145 00:07:38,189 --> 00:07:39,452 Did you have a good time? 146 00:07:39,495 --> 00:07:41,366 [laugh] 147 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:46,807 Well, the fire alarm went off and Ava said, as a joke, 148 00:07:46,850 --> 00:07:48,939 that it meant the rapture was about to happen 149 00:07:48,983 --> 00:07:53,161 and one of the other kids burst into tears. 150 00:07:53,204 --> 00:07:55,729 I had to assure them there's no such thing as a rapture alarm. 151 00:07:55,772 --> 00:07:58,166 If there was I think it would make a different sound. 152 00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:00,777 Yeah, like, less electronic, more angelic. 153 00:08:00,821 --> 00:08:02,562 Yeah. 154 00:08:02,605 --> 00:08:06,653 Um, Ava, Why don't you run and grab your bag. 155 00:08:08,568 --> 00:08:11,962 -Nice to see you again. -Yeah. You too. 156 00:08:12,006 --> 00:08:15,966 So, um, how's Ava getting on, you know, with the... 157 00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:18,316 With the what? 158 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,970 Well, when I got my first period, 159 00:08:20,014 --> 00:08:22,364 I stayed in bed for a week with a ton of Dairy Milk. 160 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:26,542 She hasn't told you, has she? 161 00:08:28,849 --> 00:08:30,851 Told who what? 162 00:08:32,766 --> 00:08:35,203 Why didn't you tell me? 163 00:08:35,246 --> 00:08:37,205 I didn't want to be another worry. 164 00:08:37,248 --> 00:08:40,643 -You've got lot of problems. -Yeah, no, I know I have, 165 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,864 but I'm always here to talk to you, okay? Whatever else is going on. 166 00:08:45,518 --> 00:08:47,781 Okay. Thanks. 167 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,395 -Did it help, talking to Susie? -Yeah. 168 00:08:53,438 --> 00:08:56,920 Good. I'm so pleased. 169 00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,792 [blowing raspberry] 170 00:08:58,835 --> 00:09:01,185 [Paul] Oh, is that? No. 171 00:09:01,229 --> 00:09:03,100 Right, so you press that to shoot. 172 00:09:03,144 --> 00:09:04,885 -This one? Whoa. -Yeah. 173 00:09:04,928 --> 00:09:06,234 -No! -No! 174 00:09:06,277 --> 00:09:09,063 -You've shot yourself. -Fuckin' hell! 175 00:09:09,106 --> 00:09:10,543 -[Ally] Hi. -Hey! 176 00:09:10,586 --> 00:09:12,414 -Hi! -Hi! 177 00:09:12,457 --> 00:09:13,633 Luke, is that a beer? 178 00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:15,112 Yeah, Dad said I could have it. 179 00:09:15,156 --> 00:09:16,723 Dad's off his head on back pills. 180 00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:18,289 Go and get your stuff ready for tomorrow, please. 181 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,900 -Can I finish my beer? -No. 182 00:09:19,943 --> 00:09:23,294 You've got school tomorrow. And you're a child. 183 00:09:23,338 --> 00:09:25,340 Pew! Ava, how was church group? 184 00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,647 -It's fine. -Oh. 185 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:33,914 Hey, I'm all right. 186 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,921 [groaning and gasping] 187 00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:42,923 -Is Ava okay? -She's got her period. 188 00:09:42,966 --> 00:09:45,142 Oh, wow. Well, good for her. 189 00:09:45,186 --> 00:09:48,406 Last week and she didn't even mention it. 190 00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:50,844 -Who to? -To me! Her mom! 191 00:09:50,887 --> 00:09:53,586 Oh, Jesus, Paul, make a doctor's appointment. 192 00:09:53,629 --> 00:09:55,500 This is weird as hell having you back in the house, 193 00:09:55,544 --> 00:09:57,677 but ripped to the tits on expired valium. 194 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,593 It's just for a few days. A distraction from the pain 195 00:10:00,636 --> 00:10:04,379 while nature does its healing thing. 196 00:10:04,422 --> 00:10:06,381 Then Bob's your uncle. 197 00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:09,079 Isn't that a weird phrase. "Bob's your uncle." 198 00:10:09,123 --> 00:10:11,038 Oh, for... Luke! 199 00:10:11,081 --> 00:10:13,823 You haven't emptied the fucking dishwasher! 200 00:10:16,913 --> 00:10:18,872 "Bob's your uncle." 201 00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:20,743 -[clanking] -[murmuring] 202 00:10:24,921 --> 00:10:28,316 We're up shit creek, in a pedalo, with no feet. 203 00:10:28,359 --> 00:10:29,796 We mustn't give up, though, Darren. 204 00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,754 No. Absolutely not. We plough on. 205 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,539 No, soldier on. It's sexier. 206 00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:36,585 I can't believe Ava didn't tell me. 207 00:10:36,629 --> 00:10:41,068 Oh, I mean, I guess I don't have a right to know. Or do I? 208 00:10:41,111 --> 00:10:44,985 Well, I don't know the menstrual status of any of the women in my life. 209 00:10:45,028 --> 00:10:47,422 Sort of a "don't ask, don't tell" situation. 210 00:10:47,465 --> 00:10:49,859 I feel like the U.S. military under Clinton. 211 00:10:49,903 --> 00:10:51,905 I mean, I know a lot of parents do make a big deal out of it. 212 00:10:51,948 --> 00:10:53,863 Americans, mainly, mmm. 213 00:10:53,907 --> 00:10:55,386 They celebrate everything, don't they? 214 00:10:55,430 --> 00:10:57,824 Gender reveals, Sweet 16, "prom." 215 00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:00,043 I mean, kids can't go for a shit these days 216 00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:03,873 without their parents turning up with a pinata and a petting zoo. 217 00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:06,528 -Ah-ha! -What? 218 00:11:06,571 --> 00:11:08,008 We could asked the staff to resign, 219 00:11:08,051 --> 00:11:10,140 then go self-employed, and we could... 220 00:11:10,184 --> 00:11:12,229 No, that's a tiny bit... 221 00:11:12,273 --> 00:11:13,970 -Illegal? -Tiny bit. 222 00:11:23,153 --> 00:11:26,026 -[Ally] Ava! Food! -[Ava] I'm not hungry! 223 00:11:26,069 --> 00:11:28,071 Well, everyone's here and I'd like you to join us, please. 224 00:11:28,115 --> 00:11:31,335 We've got profiteroles! Your favorites. 225 00:11:31,379 --> 00:11:33,294 She's been having a bit of a rough week. 226 00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:36,950 Here they come. Hopalong Cassidy and his mate! 227 00:11:36,993 --> 00:11:38,865 [Jim] Hey, if ever I get that bad, 228 00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:41,345 just shove us down the stairs and be done with it. 229 00:11:41,389 --> 00:11:43,652 I might not be many things, but I am mobile. 230 00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:45,567 Ah, fuck me. That's good. 231 00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:48,178 -Still on my pills, Paul? -[Ally] Yes, he is. 232 00:11:48,222 --> 00:11:51,878 And he needs to pack it in and go and see a proper doctor. 233 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:54,881 It's lovely having you all under one roof again. 234 00:11:54,924 --> 00:11:57,274 Paul's been helping Luke with his history project. 235 00:11:57,318 --> 00:11:59,973 -The Vietnam War. -Oh, is that interesting, Luke? 236 00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:02,932 It blows your mind. All those lives lost. 237 00:12:02,976 --> 00:12:05,065 It goes to show that violence never makes things better. 238 00:12:05,108 --> 00:12:08,329 Yeah, well, not necessarily, I mean, look at World War II. 239 00:12:08,372 --> 00:12:10,766 Violence made things better there. 240 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:15,118 And, well, actually, you punching me in the face, 241 00:12:15,162 --> 00:12:17,947 that made things better in the end, didn't it? 242 00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:21,472 [heavy breathing] 243 00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:24,519 No? Right. 244 00:12:24,562 --> 00:12:26,347 -Paul, enough with the cheese. -Yeah? 245 00:12:26,390 --> 00:12:28,479 You've already got plenty of cheese. Put the cheese down. 246 00:12:31,744 --> 00:12:33,484 You okay? 247 00:12:36,313 --> 00:12:39,664 Luke, I'm sorry, mate. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 248 00:12:39,708 --> 00:12:42,972 I've had quite a lot of Tramadol. Didn't want to embarrass you. 249 00:12:43,016 --> 00:12:45,409 -My apologies. -So, let's change the subject then. 250 00:12:46,541 --> 00:12:48,935 I hear you've had a bit of a rough week, Ava. 251 00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,635 -You told granddad? -No, I didn't. I promise. 252 00:12:53,678 --> 00:12:55,898 Did you tell everyone? Make a big announcement to the table? 253 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,640 -"Ava got her period!" -I knew nothing. 254 00:13:01,034 --> 00:13:03,863 I didn't say anything, sweetheart. 255 00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:09,346 It's nothing to be ashamed of these days. 256 00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:11,392 My mother never talked about it. 257 00:13:11,435 --> 00:13:13,873 For the first five years, I stuffed a hankie in my pants 258 00:13:13,916 --> 00:13:16,484 -and assumed I was dying. -Mom! 259 00:13:16,527 --> 00:13:19,226 I wore a sanitary belt. Terrible thing. 260 00:13:19,269 --> 00:13:21,489 Looked like a horse harness. 261 00:13:21,532 --> 00:13:23,491 Well, we didn't have any choice, did we, Leah? 262 00:13:23,534 --> 00:13:26,842 -It was either that or risk ruining the cushions. -[blows] 263 00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:28,365 You all right there, Jim? 264 00:13:28,409 --> 00:13:30,541 Oh, yes. I'm just letting my mind wander. 265 00:13:30,585 --> 00:13:31,804 Hmm. 266 00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:36,243 I never could stand tampons. 267 00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:37,766 Oh, dear God. 268 00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:39,986 Stuffed up inside you! 269 00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:41,814 How do they know 270 00:13:41,857 --> 00:13:44,686 it's not just gonna go up and up and up 271 00:13:44,729 --> 00:13:48,255 until one morning you cough it out into your breakfast? 272 00:13:48,298 --> 00:13:51,606 -Mom, can I? -Of course. I'm sorry, Ava. 273 00:13:51,649 --> 00:13:53,564 Yeah, I'm going to finish my history project. 274 00:13:53,608 --> 00:13:55,828 -Have you had enough? -Yes. 275 00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:04,880 This is a lovely meal, Ally. 276 00:14:04,924 --> 00:14:06,969 I've always thought of risotto 277 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,406 as a rice pudding that went all to shit. 278 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,669 -But you've proved me wrong. -Thank you. 279 00:14:11,713 --> 00:14:14,847 -Is Alex much of a cook, Leah? -Oh, he loves it. 280 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,761 He sings Gilbert and Sullivan while he's cooking. 281 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:19,068 It makes me want to drown myself in my soup. 282 00:14:19,112 --> 00:14:20,722 Mom, stop it! 283 00:14:20,765 --> 00:14:22,898 -Excuse me? -This bitching about Alex. 284 00:14:22,942 --> 00:14:25,379 You've had a lifetime of terrible relationships 285 00:14:25,422 --> 00:14:28,208 and now, for once, you've got a shot at a good one, 286 00:14:28,251 --> 00:14:30,906 with a decent man who loves you, so stop being a prick 287 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:33,256 and live your fucking happy ever after. 288 00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:37,086 Well, if that's what you think. 289 00:14:42,352 --> 00:14:44,311 -Where are the profiteroles? -What? 290 00:14:44,354 --> 00:14:46,791 Alex loves profiteroles. I'd like to take him some. 291 00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:48,881 Oh. They're in the fridge. 292 00:15:00,153 --> 00:15:02,590 Are you all right there, son? 293 00:15:02,633 --> 00:15:06,246 Yeah, yeah, I was just wondering if we've always had that ivy. 294 00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:09,945 It's very, uh, vivid green. 295 00:15:09,989 --> 00:15:12,948 You'd think I would have noticed that before. 296 00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:15,385 I think you're a bit touched, Paul, 297 00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:17,605 if you don't mind my saying. 298 00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:19,302 You wanna keep off them pills. 299 00:15:23,045 --> 00:15:25,221 I love you, Mom. 300 00:15:25,265 --> 00:15:28,137 [laughs] Yeah, all right, Mr. Tambourine Man. 301 00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,922 Have some more cheese. 302 00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:32,098 [Jim laughs] 303 00:15:36,058 --> 00:15:38,756 [knocks] Knock, knock. 304 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,411 -Brought you this. -Thanks. 305 00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,847 I know it's not quite the same thing 306 00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:46,155 as a proper ice cream in a cornet. 307 00:15:47,591 --> 00:15:49,158 [sighs] 308 00:15:49,202 --> 00:15:51,639 Do you remember that beaten-up old ice cream van? 309 00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:53,597 Used to park outside the infants? 310 00:15:53,641 --> 00:15:55,208 -Tommy's. -Yeah. 311 00:15:55,251 --> 00:15:57,079 Illegal Disney cartoons on his van 312 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,212 and tattoos on his knuckles. Yeah. 313 00:15:59,255 --> 00:16:01,997 Engine constantly running, so there's kids queueing up 314 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,478 in a cloud of diesel. 315 00:16:04,521 --> 00:16:07,568 That's parenthood in a nutshell. 316 00:16:07,611 --> 00:16:11,311 You're weighing up good, bad, ice cream, fucked lungs. 317 00:16:11,354 --> 00:16:13,400 Just pretending you know what's right. 318 00:16:14,836 --> 00:16:17,230 -And you don't? -No. Jesus Christ-- 319 00:16:17,273 --> 00:16:21,538 You make hundreds of decisions every day 320 00:16:21,582 --> 00:16:24,672 and you just hope to God that they're the right ones. 321 00:16:27,936 --> 00:16:31,548 Do you hate me, Dad, because I hit you? 322 00:16:33,594 --> 00:16:36,945 [sighs] No! 323 00:16:36,989 --> 00:16:40,427 No! It woke me up, 324 00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:45,780 because I just thought how could I have fucked up this badly? 325 00:16:45,823 --> 00:16:48,652 And the thing is I know exactly how. 326 00:16:48,696 --> 00:16:51,177 And I'll probably do it again. 327 00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:54,615 And that's terrifying. 328 00:16:56,704 --> 00:16:59,402 I love you, Luke. 329 00:16:59,446 --> 00:17:05,017 And the love is always bigger than the other stuff, always. 330 00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:09,325 Thank you. 331 00:17:10,761 --> 00:17:13,373 And I'm really sorry about what happened. 332 00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:15,592 I mean, I think about it every day. 333 00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,986 -I just lost control. -Mmm. 334 00:17:19,988 --> 00:17:22,121 You get that from your mother. 335 00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:29,041 Ava, sweetheart? 336 00:17:29,084 --> 00:17:31,521 There's some leftovers if you're hungry. 337 00:17:34,176 --> 00:17:36,918 Yeah. I guess so. 338 00:17:36,961 --> 00:17:40,443 Just the lunch from hell. I felt so trapped. 339 00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:47,624 ♪ Don't you mind what they think♪ 340 00:17:55,806 --> 00:18:00,115 Night-night! It's time to take 341 00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:04,641 ♪ the sleepy train to... Tickleborough! 342 00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:08,558 [laughter] 343 00:18:08,602 --> 00:18:10,691 Shush now. Calm down. 344 00:18:10,734 --> 00:18:13,650 [Ava] No, I know. I know she does. 345 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:16,784 But I can't help feeling how I feel. 346 00:18:23,182 --> 00:18:27,011 [sighs and groans] 347 00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,495 Oh, fuck. 348 00:18:35,672 --> 00:18:38,110 [sighing] 349 00:18:39,807 --> 00:18:41,025 Fuck, fuck. 350 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,988 [Paul humming] 351 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:51,166 [groaning and muttering] 352 00:18:51,210 --> 00:18:54,038 Wow, shall I call the Zombie Helpline? 353 00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:55,866 -You okay? -No. 354 00:18:55,910 --> 00:18:58,434 -Have you got any painkillers? -Ibuprofen right there. 355 00:18:58,478 --> 00:19:00,784 Mmm. Yeah, that's-- that's not gonna cut it. 356 00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:02,264 Can you call your Mom and see if she's-- 357 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,440 Stop using my mom as a drug dealer 358 00:19:04,484 --> 00:19:06,486 -and go to the doctor, Paul! -Glasses. 359 00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:08,357 Hiya, Dad, can you help me with my history project? 360 00:19:08,401 --> 00:19:10,490 -Not now, mate. I'm sorry. -But you said that you would. 361 00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:13,145 I don't care what I said. Fucking-- Luke! 362 00:19:13,188 --> 00:19:15,147 Why haven't you emptied the dishwasher? 363 00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:16,626 You had one fucking job and you haven't done it! 364 00:19:16,670 --> 00:19:18,150 -Paul, no... -Sorry, I'm-- 365 00:19:18,193 --> 00:19:19,760 I don't want to hear it, mate. Okay? 366 00:19:19,803 --> 00:19:21,196 It's too late! 'Cause you've fucked it! 367 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,850 So I'm going to lie down, all right? 368 00:19:25,722 --> 00:19:28,595 Thanks, mate, my back's even worse now. 369 00:19:31,859 --> 00:19:34,209 -Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine. 370 00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:35,819 He's in pain. He doesn't mean it. 371 00:19:35,863 --> 00:19:38,692 I'm going to finish my project. 372 00:19:43,262 --> 00:19:44,611 -[Ava] Mom? -Hi. 373 00:19:44,654 --> 00:19:46,482 I left my trainers at church group. 374 00:19:46,526 --> 00:19:47,831 I need them for school tomorrow. 375 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:49,877 All right, I'll go and get them now. 376 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,226 Um, do you want to come with me? 377 00:19:51,270 --> 00:19:53,533 -I have homework. -Oh, okay. 378 00:19:55,448 --> 00:19:58,494 [laptop beeps] 379 00:20:23,954 --> 00:20:26,043 Ally! You've come for Ava's trainers? 380 00:20:26,087 --> 00:20:28,350 I was going to call you and then I realized 381 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,484 -I didn't have your number. -Yeah, but you've got Ava's number, haven't you? 382 00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:33,921 -I'm sorry? -Texting her all the time. 383 00:20:33,964 --> 00:20:35,749 talking about private things. 384 00:20:35,792 --> 00:20:38,360 Look, I'm sure that you mean well, 385 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,449 but you are not her parent and you are not a teacher, 386 00:20:40,493 --> 00:20:41,885 and it's inappropriate for you to act 387 00:20:41,929 --> 00:20:43,322 like she's a Jacqueline Wilson 388 00:20:43,365 --> 00:20:45,019 foster-home drug child, 389 00:20:45,062 --> 00:20:46,499 some human project for you to redeem 390 00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:48,152 in the eyes of the Lord. 391 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:50,154 [shuddering] 392 00:20:51,504 --> 00:20:53,375 Oh, God. 393 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,638 You're gonna offer me a cup of tea, aren't you? 394 00:20:55,682 --> 00:20:58,032 I was thinking wine. 395 00:20:58,075 --> 00:21:00,774 Not the Eucharist wine, the good stuff. 396 00:21:06,301 --> 00:21:09,173 [Susie] Yeah, did a high-end funeral last year. 397 00:21:09,217 --> 00:21:10,740 The deceased was a vintner, 398 00:21:10,784 --> 00:21:12,568 so I got a crate of this as a thank-you. 399 00:21:12,612 --> 00:21:15,963 -It's really good. -It ought to be. 400 00:21:16,006 --> 00:21:20,141 The congregation was jammed packed with absolute cunts. 401 00:21:20,184 --> 00:21:22,056 Are you allowed to say "cunt"? 402 00:21:22,099 --> 00:21:25,146 Oh, I don't think the Bible specifies, 403 00:21:25,189 --> 00:21:26,495 although I've not read all of it. 404 00:21:26,539 --> 00:21:28,715 [laughter] 405 00:21:30,151 --> 00:21:34,851 I'm really sorry, Ally. You're right. I overstepped. 406 00:21:34,895 --> 00:21:39,682 You're clearly a great mom, and Ava's a delight. 407 00:21:39,726 --> 00:21:41,684 She's a credit to you. 408 00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,082 Thanks. Yeah, it's just... 409 00:21:50,954 --> 00:21:54,349 Everything feels wrong at the moment. 410 00:21:54,393 --> 00:21:57,352 You know, like, I'm losing her, 411 00:21:57,396 --> 00:21:59,528 and them, and me. [sobbing] 412 00:22:01,748 --> 00:22:05,882 -I'm so-- I'm sorry. -I'll back off a bit, 413 00:22:05,926 --> 00:22:08,102 make sure she spends more time with you than here. 414 00:22:09,364 --> 00:22:11,105 Thanks. 415 00:22:12,236 --> 00:22:14,369 -Do you want a tissue? 416 00:22:14,413 --> 00:22:16,371 -[sniffles] -No. 417 00:22:16,415 --> 00:22:19,200 [soothing music] 418 00:22:25,685 --> 00:22:27,339 [Ally] Hi. 419 00:22:36,957 --> 00:22:41,004 Oh. Thanks for doing the dishwasher, Luke. That's brilliant. 420 00:22:41,048 --> 00:22:43,093 -[Luke] You're welcome. -Where's Ava? 421 00:22:43,137 --> 00:22:45,400 [Luke] Homework. Or praying. 422 00:22:48,664 --> 00:22:52,364 I'd pay 50 quid for a hug right now. [chuckles] 423 00:22:57,934 --> 00:23:02,199 Really? An actual cash bribe, and no takers. Wow. 424 00:23:02,243 --> 00:23:03,592 Paul? 425 00:23:03,636 --> 00:23:06,900 [Paul] Yeah. Uh, Ally. 426 00:23:13,254 --> 00:23:15,430 No, I'm here. 427 00:23:17,301 --> 00:23:19,216 Yeah, I really need to see a doctor. 428 00:23:19,260 --> 00:23:22,089 [breathing deeply] 429 00:23:27,573 --> 00:23:32,099 [stammering] So, um, how serious are we talking 430 00:23:32,142 --> 00:23:35,015 on a scale of one to dead? 431 00:23:35,058 --> 00:23:37,844 I'm joking, but also not. 432 00:23:37,887 --> 00:23:42,152 [chuckles] Well, that's why we need the MRI. 433 00:23:42,196 --> 00:23:44,154 Let's have a proper look, make a plan. 434 00:23:44,198 --> 00:23:48,550 Okay, and what's the wait time for an MRI these days? 435 00:23:50,987 --> 00:23:54,295 -Book you in first thing in the morning. -Shit. 436 00:23:57,559 --> 00:23:58,995 Shit. Okay. 437 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:06,263 [somber music]