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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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(dramatic music)

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♪ I get a chill down my spine ♪

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♪ In the night they come to take my life ♪

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♪ And I know I won't
see the morning light ♪

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♪ In the dawn, baby I'll be gone ♪

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♪ And they're gonna eat my
brains, drive me insane ♪

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♪ Be one of their own ♪

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♪ You know they got me ♪

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♪ These fucking zombies ♪

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♪ Gonna be one of them
tonight, one of them tonight ♪

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♪ You know they got me ♪

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♪ These fucking zombies ♪

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♪ Gonna be one of them tonight ♪

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♪ One of them tonight ♪

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(dramatic music)

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♪ And now I'm coming after you ♪

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♪ Into your room, we're
gonna have some fun ♪

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♪ And I chase after you ♪

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♪ Don't have a clue to what I've become ♪

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♪ And now I'm gonna eat your
brain, drive me insane ♪

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♪ Be one of our own ♪

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♪ You know they got me ♪

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00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,659
♪ These fucking zombies ♪

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♪ Gonna be one of them tonight ♪

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♪ One of them tonight ♪

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♪ You know they got me ♪

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♪ These fucking zombies ♪

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(dramatic music)

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(shower splashing)
(nails tapping)

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- Would you hurry up in
there, you're taking too long.

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- I'm going to be on the rag any minute.

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I don't want a repeat of
the movie Carrie in here.

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- Okay, I get it.

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Have I ever told you girls how it is

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that I got into this
mess in the first place?

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- Only about 400 times.

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- Well, I'm going to tell you again,

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because I'm pre-menstrual and I damn well

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need to get this off my fucking chest.

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- Okay Eliza, I'm going to ask
you some questions now, okay?

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- Okay.

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- The passenger that was
taken to the hospital

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after the flight, did you accidentally

46
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put something in his drink?

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- No.

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- [Man] Is it true that you showed up

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for work under the influence of alcohol?

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- No.

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- [Man] Is it true you
propositioned a customer to go

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into the bathroom and
perform oral sex for money?

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- No.

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- You know what I think?

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I think you're nothing but damaged goods.

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Is that what you want
people to think of you?

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As a degenerate?

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As a delinquent?

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I can promise you this.

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When I find out that you're lying,

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and we prove that you're
lying, you are going to jail.

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(dramatic chord)

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- Wow, you think that's bad.

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Did I ever tell you girls about

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the time I did my nursing residency.

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It all started a very long time

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ago when I was a very young girl.

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(dramatic music)

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- A barking dog howls
in the frosty moonlight.

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(pills rattling)
(dramatic music)

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(nurse knocks)

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- Mr. Hoover, it's time for your enema.

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- [Hoover] But I'm just
here to get my tonsils out.

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- Sir, if you do not cooperate,

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I'm going to have to sedate you.

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(Hoover cries out)

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- You guys think that that's bad?

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You should hear my story.

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It all started when I was working
at the Wrecker's Car Wash,

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earning money so I can go
to massage therapy school.

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(dramatic music)

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- How about a little full service?

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- So you want the full package?

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- Yeah.

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This is what I call full service.

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(distant sirens)

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Shit.

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(nearing sirens)
(moaning)

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(raspberries)

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- [Announcer] 10, nine, eight, seven,

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six, five, four, three, two, one.

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(audience cheering)

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- Oh you've got a very
productive day to day Wendy.

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Lots of money has been raised

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to help all them babies in Sri Lanka.

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- Thank you, sir.

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Here you go.

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Boy, I'm just glad I
can help these orphans.

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(sirens blaring)

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Uh-oh.

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(dramatic music)
(sirens blaring)

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- Wow, if you think that's bad,

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you should hear about my antics

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when I was a cheerleader
at South Jersey State,

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I blackmailed all three of my professors

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into giving me a thousand
dollars a week allowance.

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(dramatic chord)

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(dramatic music)

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- Your antics are famous
all over the internet.

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We don't need to hear about them again.

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We're all familiar.

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- Goddammit Eliza, you little bitch.

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You think you fucking own this place.

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You let all the other little piss ants

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tell their little stories

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and then you butt in when it's my turn.

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Well, I'll tell you something.

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You're not top bitch
in this fucking place.

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I am, you little cunt.

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(dramatic music)
(crying out)

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- How do you like that, bitch?

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Fucker.

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(dramatic music)
(crying out)

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- All right, I'll show you
who's top dog in this place.

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Line up.

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All of you line up.

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That's right, everybody
behaves and no one gets tased.

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- Mrs. Bush, she started
it, she really did.

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- I don't care who
started it, God damn it.

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I'm sure as Hell going to finish this.

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Girls have got to learn
to respect authority.

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Got to learn to respect the whip,

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then maybe you'll respect authority.

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The whip is family.

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(dramatic music)
(whip cracking)

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00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:18,200
(dramatic music)

137
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:29,200
(dramatic music)
(pole snapping)

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- No, no.

139
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,569
Patsy, we're not making Godard come here.

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Get these two greased up

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and then we'll move on to the anal beads.

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(whip cracking)

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(phone rings)

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- You cunts are lucky.

145
00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:03,089
Lucky I say.

146
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I was just getting warmed up.

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00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:08,669
(phone rings)

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00:11:08,670 --> 00:11:09,769
Wormwood New Jersey Women's

149
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,579
Correctional Facilities,
this is Warden Bush speaking.

150
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- And for Christ's sakes, Patsy,

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show us some rose bud this time.

152
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Cassandra, lovely to hear your voice.

153
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,319
How's the little one?

154
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Hasn't come out yet?

155
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:24,099
Going to let him cook a
little bit longer than aye?

156
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,999
- Claw, you have the
absolute most shit timing.

157
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But I still love your brother.

158
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I was just teaching a
lesson to my little girls.

159
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Them cunts.

160
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That fucker's still in there,

161
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I haven't gotten rid of it yet.

162
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- Good, good.

163
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:41,149
Well, there is a reason
for my call, sister.

164
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It's not just to give you

165
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a hard time about being knocked up.

166
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I have a favor to ask of you.

167
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- A favor?

168
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Well, you are a big help to me

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00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,049
when I was under investigation

170
00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:52,399
by the Better Business Bureau

171
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,019
and you did a lot for me when I was trying

172
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:58,689
to open up that Dress Barn
in Atlantic City, go on.

173
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- No, Patsy, I need you
to get my glory hole.

174
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Get Jordan lube all over, you queen.

175
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:07,209
Move this light just a
cut hair to the left.

176
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Just a cut hair.

177
00:12:08,610 --> 00:12:10,899
- Claw, if you're going to
direct your little smut movies,

178
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:11,730
why don't you do it when

179
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,719
you aren't on the phone with your sister?

180
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,359
I do have some cunts to
attend to in the other room.

181
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- Where was I?

182
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:19,159
Oh, Oh yes.

183
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,269
I'm going to need your help, sister.

184
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:23,609
And maybe the help of
your little prison sluts.

185
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,749
- Reform school girls.

186
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:26,319
- Yeah, whatever.

187
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,699
I have a plan to make us both rich.

188
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,119
With the money I've been paying

189
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these twink rocker boys, you

190
00:12:32,110 --> 00:12:34,949
and I could've opened up at
least 10 Dress Barns by now.

191
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:37,319
- What in God's name are
you rambling on about?

192
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,339
- I'll tell you what I'm
rambling about, money.

193
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,799
I have a plan to turn all
of these pretty little,

194
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,849
indie, rock, guitar toting, emo, math,

195
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,179
rock, loving boys in this neighborhood

196
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:53,889
into my own personal
lobotomized sex slaves.

197
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Vis-a-vis a new serum I have
created in my laboratory.

198
00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:58,789
Yes.

199
00:12:58,790 --> 00:13:02,480
Oh yes, yes, yes.

200
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:05,170
- Yes, yes, yes.

201
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:08,559
- Patsy, I am doing business.

202
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,219
I am on the phone.

203
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:13,149
I am doing business and I am on the phone.

204
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,560
Get in your cage, do your paperwork.

205
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:19,430
Boys, would you like
to take a douche break?

206
00:13:23,820 --> 00:13:26,619
As I was saying, I have finally developed

207
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:30,139
the perfect serum and now all I need

208
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:32,039
is a way to distribute it to all

209
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,649
the twink rocker boys in the world.

210
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:38,579
And then they'll do my smut films for free

211
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,939
and you and I can keep the profits

212
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:42,930
and open up even more Dress Barns.

213
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:46,790
Patsy!

214
00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:50,049
- I still don't see how I come into this.

215
00:13:50,050 --> 00:13:53,349
- I'll tell you where
you come in to this, sis.

216
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:55,769
I must, of course, have a way to transmit

217
00:13:55,770 --> 00:13:58,209
the serum to these lovely boys.

218
00:13:58,210 --> 00:14:00,240
Oh yes, yes I do.

219
00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:04,049
I have your prison sluts to do it for me.

220
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:05,619
- Reform school girls.

221
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:08,819
Hmm, you know, I have been trying to think

222
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:11,439
of a way to get out of
this lousy business.

223
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,509
Our father, God, rest his soul, turnover

224
00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:17,739
in his grave to see the sorry
state of this institution.

225
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,799
I can never raise the
money to renovate it.

226
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,019
If only there was some way I can just walk

227
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,979
away from this business
and just make money

228
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,909
off of unstylish women.

229
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,409
Be a dream come true.

230
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,639
(door bangs)

231
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,770
- Just a minute.

232
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,670
Masters.

233
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:35,039
Hey sis, do you still have ties

234
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,079
with that Ghoul Scout program?

235
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,639
You know, one where girls earn badges

236
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,179
for things like penmanship,
or river kayaking,

237
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:45,539
or being the first to
stain their damn underpants

238
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,459
after reading a Judy Bloom book?

239
00:14:47,460 --> 00:14:48,519
- Yes, sir.

240
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:52,489
- Well, perhaps these sluts,
they can sell some cookies.

241
00:14:52,490 --> 00:14:56,329
You know, door-to-door to
the homes of the rocker boys.

242
00:14:56,330 --> 00:15:00,649
Have them sell some samosas,
thin clits, some tag-a-dongs.

243
00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,109
- Only if they'd be
buying a one way ticket

244
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,790
to the world of human traffic sex slavery.

245
00:15:05,950 --> 00:15:08,209
- Precisely.

246
00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:10,449
- Well, this is a plan so evil, only you

247
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,529
and I could have thought
of it together, brother.

248
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:13,689
- You can do it.

249
00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:14,620
We can help.

250
00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:15,719
- [Both] You can do it.

251
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,500
We can help.

252
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:17,330
You can do it.

253
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:18,300
We can help.

254
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:19,930
Fashion at a fraction.

255
00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:24,649
(dramatic music)

256
00:15:24,650 --> 00:15:27,659
♪ Well I'm love with a fire girl oh yeah ♪

257
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,019
♪ She broke my heart, oh yeah ♪

258
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:33,469
♪ And there's a werewolf
outside, it's waiting for me ♪

259
00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:36,890
♪ Oh yeah, oh baby, yeah ♪

260
00:15:42,390 --> 00:15:44,869
- All right, it's almost
time for our satanic,

261
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:47,529
Cthulhu leaning D&D break.

262
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,630
Bust out the 20 sided dice, Nikki.

263
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:53,019
- The game has already started
and since it has started,

264
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:55,449
I will not respond to the name, Nikki.

265
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:59,479
My name is Lord Stera
Kimushen the most feared.

266
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,049
And as of last Tuesday,
I'm a level eight wizard.

267
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:04,050
- Sounds good.

268
00:16:04,850 --> 00:16:07,669
Listen, there's some I've been
meaning to talk to you about,

269
00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:10,679
you really need to get
some girls around here.

270
00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:12,099
- Well, I don't know, man.

271
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,569
- Look, man, here's the deal.

272
00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:16,539
I haven't had sexual intercourse with

273
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:21,540
a woman in say nine months, give or take.

274
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:26,269
So why don't me and you
hit up the ACE hardware,

275
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,979
scope out some hot chicks,

276
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:32,129
and bring them back here
for fucking purposes.

277
00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:33,159
- I don't know, man.

278
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,179
I've been asking Beelzebub and fish gods

279
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,209
for girls every time I light a candle,

280
00:16:38,210 --> 00:16:41,709
but so far all I've gotten
is some Vampire Hunter D

281
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,939
action figures and a copy of deep throat.

282
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:48,679
- Man, I mean like
actually leave the house.

283
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:52,529
Like meet girls out in
the real world, man.

284
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:53,310
- Whoa.

285
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,320
You mean like not in the world

286
00:16:54,321 --> 00:16:58,430
of satanic Cthulhu D&D
but like on second life?

287
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:00,560
- What?

288
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,059
No, you idiot.

289
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:04,559
Not in a song, not in a game,

290
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,530
not in a movie, but in real life.

291
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:10,079
Wow.

292
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,169
I had an experience like that once.

293
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,170
- Here we go.

294
00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:17,580
- So there I was on this airplane.

295
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:22,669
I was with my parents going
to the new zoological exhibit

296
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:27,250
at the Walt Disney World
Animal Kingdom when I saw her.

297
00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:30,729
Her hair shone like the radiant sunshine

298
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,760
of the dark gods themselves.

299
00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:38,510
Like the original fish gods,
like Cthulhu or something.

300
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,160
And her skin, it was like fish skin.

301
00:17:44,930 --> 00:17:48,539
I mean not scaly or anything just nice,

302
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:51,600
cool, and exuberant, fleshy.

303
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,820
If I could just've reach out, touched it.

304
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:03,349
Her hair flowed down her
shoulders like the parting

305
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:06,069
of the Red Sea, or the
changing of the tides.

306
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,289
And her body.

307
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:11,030
It was incredible.

308
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,299
She looked like a goddess

309
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,869
in her little flight attendant uniform.

310
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:20,870
Maybe like Christie in Hellraiser
or that girl in Nosferatu.

311
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,729
The original Nosferatu,
not the 1979 version,

312
00:18:23,730 --> 00:18:25,569
although she was hot too.

313
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:29,800
And when I asked for that
low sodium tomato juice,

314
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:34,229
it was like asking for
her hand in marriage.

315
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:35,060
- All right.

316
00:18:35,061 --> 00:18:36,119
That's enough.

317
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,289
I've heard just about as
much as I could stomach.

318
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:43,319
I am not talking about girls
that you see in your dreams.

319
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:47,269
I'm talking about real
girls, who come here,

320
00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:48,930
and have sex with us.

321
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:52,009
Sluts.

322
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:53,420
You know, like sluts.

323
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,469
Girls with no morals.

324
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:59,179
Girls with low moral fiber.

325
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,180
Sluts.

326
00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:04,019
Like the girls that Anton LaVay writes

327
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:07,570
about that attend those
orgiastic black mass events.

328
00:19:08,850 --> 00:19:09,850
Sex parties.

329
00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:11,799
The preacher's daughter type.

330
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,979
You guys know what I'm talking about

331
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:14,129
with the preacher's daughter type.

332
00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:16,289
I'm talking about sluts.

333
00:19:16,290 --> 00:19:20,729
The girls you see me on late
night Cinamax, those girls.

334
00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:22,150
But in real life.

335
00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:24,279
Sluts.

336
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,279
But it real life.

337
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,369
To bring back here.

338
00:19:27,370 --> 00:19:30,399
And when I say here, I mean our apartment,

339
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,429
and when I say here, I
mean our rehearsal space,

340
00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:34,569
anything but your parents' house.

341
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:37,819
And have sex with all of us.

342
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:42,820
Or at least one of us, so he
can tell the others about it.

343
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:47,659
- I'm telling you, I met
this girl in real life.

344
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,399
It was real life.

345
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,649
And we had a connection
right there and then.

346
00:19:51,650 --> 00:19:55,859
We were like James Woods
and Blondie in Videodrome.

347
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,859
And it was like a real connection.

348
00:19:57,860 --> 00:20:01,839
Not just some video, creepy
SNM thing or whatever that was.

349
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,609
And if you don't believe it,

350
00:20:03,610 --> 00:20:05,849
then that is just like your problem.

351
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,809
Because I believe in
this serendipity stuff

352
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:10,949
and those fish people.

353
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:13,369
- What you believe, and don't bring

354
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:15,619
Cthulhu into this, is crap.

355
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,029
And I'm not going to
bring this negative energy

356
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:20,090
into our D&D sessions.

357
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:30,780
(dramatic music)

358
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,989
(knocking)

359
00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:52,990
- Liza?

360
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,850
Oh, Warden Bush.

361
00:20:57,930 --> 00:20:59,679
- Warden Bush is off duty.

362
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,119
Call me Cassandra.

363
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:03,870
(dramatic music)

364
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:13,069
- Who's a good little puppy?

365
00:23:13,070 --> 00:23:14,990
That's right, Patsy is.

366
00:23:16,630 --> 00:23:19,539
Does Patsy want the ball?

367
00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:20,370
Go fetch!

368
00:23:20,371 --> 00:23:21,669
(laughs)

369
00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:22,670
Bad dog.

370
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,360
Bad dog.

371
00:23:25,810 --> 00:23:26,810
Go fetch.

372
00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:30,610
Bring back the ball, Patsy.

373
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:32,910
Too slow!

374
00:23:32,911 --> 00:23:35,819
(electric fizzing)
(Patsy crying out)

375
00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:38,369
Is Patsy a good doggie?

376
00:23:38,370 --> 00:23:39,409
Go fetch.

377
00:23:39,410 --> 00:23:42,160
(dramatic music)

378
00:23:54,110 --> 00:23:56,530
(chattering)

379
00:24:08,700 --> 00:24:10,639
- Where were you last night, Linda?

380
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,209
I waited around for you to play dress up.

381
00:24:13,210 --> 00:24:15,399
- You know where she was.

382
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,200
She was treating herself to
Warden Bush's choco taco.

383
00:24:20,350 --> 00:24:24,260
Little SS Cassandra cuddle fish pie.

384
00:24:25,630 --> 00:24:28,359
Yeah, she was down there licking the baby.

385
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:33,169
- Well, yeah, she was gobbling up my gash.

386
00:24:33,170 --> 00:24:37,330
She was eating up my
cream filled custard pie,

387
00:24:38,460 --> 00:24:40,430
siphoning out the strawberry filling.

388
00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:45,839
- But you were, weren't you?

389
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,329
I mean, something was going on.

390
00:24:48,330 --> 00:24:49,420
You didn't show up.

391
00:24:50,580 --> 00:24:54,029
- Well maybe I didn't want to
play dress up with you, Liza.

392
00:24:54,030 --> 00:24:56,089
Maybe some of us are more
grown up than others.

393
00:24:56,090 --> 00:24:59,259
Maybe some of us live in the real world.

394
00:24:59,260 --> 00:25:00,260
Grow up.

395
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:06,939
- Speaking of moon pies, here comes

396
00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:08,709
the sausage in a corset now.

397
00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:10,029
(chuckles)

398
00:25:10,030 --> 00:25:11,849
- All right, listen up cunts.

399
00:25:11,850 --> 00:25:13,649
I've got some excellent news for you.

400
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:15,219
Might be the luckiest cunty cunts

401
00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:16,829
ever to have walk the Earth.

402
00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:18,619
(whip bangs)

403
00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:20,169
- You just stirred my Vegemite.

404
00:25:20,170 --> 00:25:21,379
- Nevermind that.

405
00:25:21,380 --> 00:25:22,669
So look, here's how it is.

406
00:25:22,670 --> 00:25:24,420
Who wants to get out of here early?

407
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,299
I only have room for four little cunts.

408
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:31,039
I don't know why I'm
going to choose you four,

409
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,639
but I might just be the sweetest

410
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,710
warden there was in this reform school.

411
00:25:35,710 --> 00:25:37,089
But you are not to make any trouble for me

412
00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:40,319
and you're to do exactly
as you're told, understood?

413
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,489
- [All] Whatever you say, Mrs. Bush.

414
00:25:42,490 --> 00:25:43,620
- Choco taco.

415
00:25:47,170 --> 00:25:48,499
- Now here's the deal, you're all going

416
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,429
to be selling cookies for my
niece's Ghoul scout troop.

417
00:25:51,430 --> 00:25:53,039
But first we have to reeducate you

418
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,839
and make you suitable to
join the natural world.

419
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:58,170
Without bring with you any
of your bad girl tendencies.

420
00:25:59,030 --> 00:25:59,920
You're all going to undergo

421
00:25:59,921 --> 00:26:03,189
a strict reeducation
process under my supervision

422
00:26:03,190 --> 00:26:05,249
and Linda, I'm going to need you

423
00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:08,349
to help me keep these bad girls in line.

424
00:26:08,350 --> 00:26:09,350
- Yes ma'am.

425
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,020
I mean, Mrs. Bush.

426
00:26:16,060 --> 00:26:17,209
- Excuse me.

427
00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:18,779
Is this going to be like that time that

428
00:26:18,780 --> 00:26:22,039
you had us lead the focus
group for the Dress Barn?

429
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,509
- No, nothing like that.

430
00:26:23,510 --> 00:26:26,369
So after you've all
undergone your reeducation

431
00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,289
and served your time selling cookies,

432
00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:30,379
you'll be free to leave these four walls

433
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:32,269
and rejoined the natural world.

434
00:26:32,270 --> 00:26:34,159
(whip bangs)

435
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,920
See, you cunty cunts at 7:00
a.m. sharp in the infirmary.

436
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:42,720
- Niece's Ghoul scout troop?

437
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,129
This sounds like another one
of SS Cassandra's schemes,

438
00:26:47,130 --> 00:26:50,249
like that S pyramid thing she had us do

439
00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:53,649
or the Cutco covert operation

440
00:26:53,650 --> 00:26:57,629
or the ShamWow demonstration
or that Tupperware party

441
00:26:57,630 --> 00:26:58,799
at the men state prison.

442
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,529
- I say, we do what she says.

443
00:27:00,530 --> 00:27:01,829
It's our only ticket out of here.

444
00:27:01,830 --> 00:27:03,209
Do we have a choice?

445
00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:05,549
- You would see that miss Etheridge.

446
00:27:05,550 --> 00:27:06,759
- Shut up, Liza.

447
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,909
- Wait, Ms. Kiss ass has a point.

448
00:27:08,910 --> 00:27:10,609
We should maybe ride this thing out.

449
00:27:10,610 --> 00:27:13,149
It may very well get us out
of this fucking hell hole.

450
00:27:13,150 --> 00:27:15,229
Even if it is only for a few hours.

451
00:27:15,230 --> 00:27:16,230
- That's true.

452
00:27:21,350 --> 00:27:26,350
(film clicking)
(dramatic music)

453
00:28:15,390 --> 00:28:18,729
- I will up hold the highest ethics,

454
00:28:18,730 --> 00:28:21,519
no matter what the situation.

455
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,839
I will hold the tradition of

456
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,369
my sisterhood in the highest regards.

457
00:28:27,370 --> 00:28:31,159
I will never succumb to evil deeds.

458
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:36,049
I will follow the strictest
discipline from my mentors,

459
00:28:36,050 --> 00:28:38,669
and I will never eat the merchandise

460
00:28:38,670 --> 00:28:40,670
under any circumstances.

461
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,400
(dramatic music)

462
00:29:07,780 --> 00:29:10,370
(match flares)

463
00:29:11,530 --> 00:29:14,280
(dramatic music)

464
00:29:15,730 --> 00:29:20,730
♪ May the light of this
flickering candle illuminate ♪

465
00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:27,290
The night the way your
mind illuminates my soul

466
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,079
♪ Doctor, can you hear me ♪

467
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:46,679
♪ Doctor, can you see me ♪

468
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:51,680
♪ Cocks to the left of me,
cocks to the right of me. ♪

469
00:29:58,770 --> 00:30:02,610
- Why is this damaged fawn left to suffer?

470
00:30:04,140 --> 00:30:09,140
♪ Doctor, do you love me? ♪

471
00:30:10,710 --> 00:30:14,460
♪ Doctor, don't you love me? ♪

472
00:30:17,390 --> 00:30:21,520
- I sit alone in
darkness, cursed, but why?

473
00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:28,380
♪ Nubile, twink, hipster
boys are his fancy ♪

474
00:30:28,620 --> 00:30:33,620
♪ When all his destiny needs is Patsy ♪

475
00:30:37,030 --> 00:30:42,030
♪ Doctor, do you see me ♪

476
00:30:42,070 --> 00:30:46,709
♪ Doctor, can you see me ♪

477
00:30:46,710 --> 00:30:50,630
♪ Doctor, don't you wonder why ♪

478
00:30:59,350 --> 00:31:02,260
- Cast aside for boys with assholes

479
00:31:03,730 --> 00:31:07,150
Willing to accept the shaft of my beloved

480
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:13,510
♪ While I exist in a
cave that has no door ♪

481
00:31:18,710 --> 00:31:19,960
- Why, God, why

482
00:31:22,130 --> 00:31:23,070
Why

483
00:31:23,071 --> 00:31:24,320
Why, God, why?

484
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,460
(phone ringing)

485
00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:45,560
- Pick up, pick up.

486
00:31:53,940 --> 00:31:56,190
Pick up, pick up, pick up.

487
00:32:03,420 --> 00:32:06,089
- Wormwood New Jersey Women's
Correctional Facility,

488
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:08,379
this is Warden Bush speaking.

489
00:32:08,380 --> 00:32:10,179
- No time for formalities.

490
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:11,659
I have it all mapped out for you.

491
00:32:11,660 --> 00:32:13,719
I have a schedule for you,

492
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,619
and I have a way for us
to keep in touch via video

493
00:32:16,620 --> 00:32:20,449
transmission from you
to me and text messages.

494
00:32:20,450 --> 00:32:22,099
- Not to sound like a
broken record, brother,

495
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:24,199
but what in God's name
are you blabbering about?

496
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,969
- Sister, the twink rocker boys will soon

497
00:32:26,970 --> 00:32:29,329
be my lobotomized sex slaves,

498
00:32:29,330 --> 00:32:32,679
to induct into my
moneymaking boy porn twink

499
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:37,069
empire to sell overseas in Uzbekistan

500
00:32:37,070 --> 00:32:40,489
and other elite foreign Islamic markets.

501
00:32:40,490 --> 00:32:42,799
I have been observing the lushest

502
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:45,199
hipster rock and roll boys.

503
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,819
I have addresses, I have maps,

504
00:32:47,820 --> 00:32:50,390
and I am fully prepared
to take over the world.

505
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:56,299
By the way, how is your
reeducation process coming along?

506
00:32:56,300 --> 00:32:58,449
- I'm up all night,
training those little cunts.

507
00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:00,320
My whip arm is tired.

508
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,519
I hope to God those
cunts do their job well.

509
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,839
The last time, they ruined
my prepaid legal party.

510
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,809
- Never mind that, you must
come over right away before

511
00:33:09,810 --> 00:33:11,929
you head out with those prison sluts.

512
00:33:11,930 --> 00:33:14,639
I have to get you equipped
with your lapel camera

513
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,199
and special satellite SMS device.

514
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:18,699
- You can do it, we can help.

515
00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:20,359
- [Both] You can do it, we can help.

516
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,409
You can do it, we can help.

517
00:33:22,410 --> 00:33:24,489
Fashion at a fraction.

518
00:33:24,490 --> 00:33:27,269
- Together, we are like
the most evilest duo

519
00:33:27,270 --> 00:33:29,440
since Jimmy Bakker and Jessica Hahn.

520
00:33:30,750 --> 00:33:32,939
(phones bang)

521
00:33:32,940 --> 00:33:35,690
(dramatic music)

522
00:34:07,650 --> 00:34:09,729
(doorbell rings)

523
00:34:09,730 --> 00:34:14,730
(knocking)
(dramatic music)

524
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,360
(game beeping)

525
00:34:35,361 --> 00:34:40,360
(chattering)
(game beeping)

526
00:34:41,670 --> 00:34:44,420
(doorbell rings)

527
00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:52,010
- Hello?

528
00:34:52,011 --> 00:34:54,939
- Hi, my compatriots and I are selling

529
00:34:54,940 --> 00:34:57,389
these Ghoul Scout cookies to support

530
00:34:57,390 --> 00:34:59,339
our troops and to help raise money,

531
00:34:59,340 --> 00:35:03,009
to fight diseases like AIDS
and tuberculosis and cholera.

532
00:35:03,010 --> 00:35:04,030
- That's beautiful.

533
00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:06,779
I'm a chickenpox survivor myself,

534
00:35:06,780 --> 00:35:09,830
but please do come in, come in, go ahead.

535
00:35:12,430 --> 00:35:13,949
Ladies.

536
00:35:13,950 --> 00:35:15,290
Ladies, welcome.

537
00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:17,140
Welcome.

538
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,390
- Hi.

539
00:35:26,350 --> 00:35:28,750
- So are you guys, like,
religious or something?

540
00:35:29,660 --> 00:35:32,969
I live with my mom and my stepfather.

541
00:35:32,970 --> 00:35:36,449
My band members and I
are in this really cool,

542
00:35:36,450 --> 00:35:41,450
mathy, garage, emo, food-oriented
prog rock metal punk band.

543
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,429
We write songs about dark
forces and fish gods.

544
00:35:46,430 --> 00:35:47,729
- I like music.

545
00:35:47,730 --> 00:35:48,570
- All right, all right,

546
00:35:48,571 --> 00:35:50,699
so what are you guys selling, exactly?

547
00:35:50,700 --> 00:35:53,369
- Oh, you see, in order to raise money

548
00:35:53,370 --> 00:35:55,099
for children with severe burns,

549
00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:58,269
we have been selling
these Dolidos, Samosas,

550
00:35:58,270 --> 00:36:00,739
Thin Clits and Tagadongs.

551
00:36:00,740 --> 00:36:02,639
- Oh, Sherry, darling, we must not eat

552
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,219
the merchandise under any circumstances.

553
00:36:05,220 --> 00:36:07,799
This is part of our oath as Ghoul Scouts.

554
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,899
Do we not remember our Ghoul
Scouts code of conduct?

555
00:36:10,900 --> 00:36:13,829
- [Girls] I will uphold the highest ethics

556
00:36:13,830 --> 00:36:16,499
no matter what the situation,

557
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:20,489
I will hold the tradition of my sisterhood

558
00:36:20,490 --> 00:36:25,490
in highest regard, I will
never succumb to evil deeds,

559
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:30,430
- I will never do something
with something else.

560
00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:34,249
- [Girls] And I will never eat

561
00:36:34,250 --> 00:36:38,639
the merchandise under any circumstances.

562
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,769
- Ever, never.

563
00:36:40,770 --> 00:36:43,500
- Wow, that was creepy.

564
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,369
It also gave me kind of a stiffy.

565
00:36:47,370 --> 00:36:49,539
So, what's your name?

566
00:36:49,540 --> 00:36:51,469
- My name is Liza Wonder, what's yours?

567
00:36:51,470 --> 00:36:54,079
- Hi, I'm Linda Lovelocks.

568
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,419
- I'm Mickey Mayhem.

569
00:36:55,420 --> 00:36:57,669
My band is called the Vampire Godzillas.

570
00:36:57,670 --> 00:37:00,819
We have our first show tonight
at the VFW of Wormwood,

571
00:37:00,820 --> 00:37:02,519
would you girls like to come?

572
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,379
- Would we?

573
00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:07,189
- I'm sorry, my girls are
far too busy selling cookies

574
00:37:07,190 --> 00:37:08,839
to help the lepers in Indonesia to come

575
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,649
to your little rock
opera, or whatever you.

576
00:37:10,650 --> 00:37:12,119
(phone rings)

577
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,120
Excuse me a minute.

578
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,339
On the other hand, it
might be a good opportunity

579
00:37:19,340 --> 00:37:22,649
for my Ghoul Scouts to
practice their social graces,

580
00:37:22,650 --> 00:37:24,829
earn their charm school badges.

581
00:37:24,830 --> 00:37:28,249
- [All] Thank you, Miss Bush.

582
00:37:28,250 --> 00:37:29,210
- Well, it's settled.

583
00:37:29,211 --> 00:37:31,929
Boys, wouldn't you like to
taste these delicious cookies?

584
00:37:31,930 --> 00:37:34,199
- I'll take 20 boxes.

585
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,040
- 20 boxes?

586
00:37:35,041 --> 00:37:37,279
Now there's a gentleman and a scholar.

587
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,909
- Oh, thanks, but I have a dairy allergy

588
00:37:40,910 --> 00:37:42,829
and it just makes me break out in hives

589
00:37:42,830 --> 00:37:44,499
and my throat closes up

590
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:47,279
and my lips blow out and
I can't play the flute.

591
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,589
- Oh, hey, I'll take
one of those mint Clits?

592
00:37:50,590 --> 00:37:53,100
- Yes, the Thin Clits, a very good choice.

593
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,020
- These Tagadongs look really good.

594
00:37:57,950 --> 00:38:02,229
- No, actually, thank you,
but I'm an octo-lacto-vegan.

595
00:38:02,230 --> 00:38:04,709
For a month there, I was fruititarian,

596
00:38:04,710 --> 00:38:06,350
and it gave me this nasty anal discharge.

597
00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:13,139
So maybe you girls, after the show,

598
00:38:13,140 --> 00:38:14,689
maybe you'd like to come over

599
00:38:14,690 --> 00:38:18,749
and we'll play some World of Warcraft?

600
00:38:18,750 --> 00:38:20,299
- I wouldn't push it, kid.

601
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:22,269
Come now, girls, we've got about 50 houses

602
00:38:22,270 --> 00:38:24,089
to hit before Bass Masters comes on,

603
00:38:24,090 --> 00:38:26,089
and my TiVo has been full for a month.

604
00:38:26,090 --> 00:38:27,090
Let's go.

605
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:36,219
- See you at the show tonight, Liza.

606
00:38:36,220 --> 00:38:37,340
I mean, girls.

607
00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:40,800
- Come again, boys, thank you.

608
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:44,609
- Your mom's house?

609
00:38:44,610 --> 00:38:46,899
- Well what about you, anal discharge?

610
00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:48,129
We're done.

611
00:38:48,130 --> 00:38:50,309
- Rematch, all right, rematch.

612
00:38:50,310 --> 00:38:52,540
- We got to get this toll, still, yeah.

613
00:38:54,050 --> 00:38:55,479
- This Tagadong's not too bad.

614
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:56,730
- Nah, I guess.

615
00:38:59,110 --> 00:39:00,389
- Go left, go left.

616
00:39:00,390 --> 00:39:02,640
- Don't tell me what to do.

617
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:07,090
(upbeat music)

618
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,630
(dramatic music)

619
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,109
♪ I was stuck in Texas ♪

620
00:39:57,110 --> 00:40:02,110
♪ Baby, trying to get back home ♪

621
00:40:02,780 --> 00:40:06,269
♪ I'm stuck at Texas ♪

622
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:10,270
♪ Baby, trying to get back home ♪

623
00:40:15,940 --> 00:40:17,450
- So what war were you in?

624
00:40:18,860 --> 00:40:20,820
You're not a member of this club.

625
00:40:21,660 --> 00:40:23,409
You're the hottest thing to walk

626
00:40:23,410 --> 00:40:26,450
in here since the rummage sale.

627
00:40:28,180 --> 00:40:32,669
How about you and me
going out in the back?

628
00:40:32,670 --> 00:40:34,749
A little hanky panky.

629
00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:36,649
You want to have sex with me?

630
00:40:36,650 --> 00:40:38,629
I can still get it up.

631
00:40:38,630 --> 00:40:41,709
Listen, I got Viagra, and I got Cialis,

632
00:40:41,710 --> 00:40:43,849
you know, so we go in the back room.

633
00:40:43,850 --> 00:40:47,350
I think sex is on my Medicare card.

634
00:40:48,340 --> 00:40:49,989
- Get me a gin and tonic, please.

635
00:40:49,990 --> 00:40:51,789
(Cassandra clears throat)

636
00:40:51,790 --> 00:40:53,770
I mean, make it a Shirley Temple.

637
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,029
- We've got to start playing boat shows,

638
00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:08,749
because rich chicks like boat shows,

639
00:41:08,750 --> 00:41:11,059
and rich chicks are hot.

640
00:41:11,060 --> 00:41:13,329
- [Mikey] Yeah, but I can't swim.

641
00:41:13,330 --> 00:41:15,489
- Wow, Liza, drool much?

642
00:41:15,490 --> 00:41:16,739
- What are you talking about,

643
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:18,979
Miss I want everything
that everyone else has.

644
00:41:18,980 --> 00:41:21,859
You've been drooling over him
since you saw him as well.

645
00:41:21,860 --> 00:41:24,429
- Well, what makes you so
sure that he wants you?

646
00:41:24,430 --> 00:41:25,939
Maybe he wants me.

647
00:41:25,940 --> 00:41:28,249
I am a ravenous blonde
bombshell, after all.

648
00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:31,069
- Linda, you stay the fuck away from him.

649
00:41:31,070 --> 00:41:32,259
You only want him because you know

650
00:41:32,260 --> 00:41:34,119
I like him, you little bitch.

651
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,709
- You can't handle a little competition.

652
00:41:36,710 --> 00:41:38,209
I can get any guy I want

653
00:41:38,210 --> 00:41:40,309
and it makes you venomously jealous.

654
00:41:40,310 --> 00:41:41,689
- You're just a little whore

655
00:41:41,690 --> 00:41:44,699
who sells her body off
to the highest bidder.

656
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,469
Mickey would never go for you.

657
00:41:46,470 --> 00:41:48,519
He could see right through your act.

658
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,170
- Yeah, well, we'll see
about that, you little bitch.

659
00:41:52,460 --> 00:41:57,460
(dramatic music)
(screaming)

660
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,879
- Girls, girls, are
you fucking kidding me?

661
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:05,409
Men are so not worth fighting over.

662
00:42:05,410 --> 00:42:07,839
I learned that lesson when I was a nurse.

663
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,599
Women were always fighting over

664
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,519
the wealthiest or the best looking doctor.

665
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,999
Bitches were like wolves
coming in for the kill.

666
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,319
Makes you sick to your stomach.

667
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,720
- I'm starting to feel sick to my stomach.

668
00:42:22,260 --> 00:42:24,399
- Look, the band's going to play.

669
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,529
- Yay.

670
00:42:26,530 --> 00:42:28,449
- The band's going to play.

671
00:42:28,450 --> 00:42:30,620
I've got to announce them.

672
00:42:34,370 --> 00:42:37,120
(dramatic music)

673
00:42:41,780 --> 00:42:45,070
- Come on, guys, we've
got to be out in five.

674
00:42:46,370 --> 00:42:47,200
You like that?

675
00:42:47,201 --> 00:42:48,689
That's show for five minutes.

676
00:42:48,690 --> 00:42:50,999
- Sorry, man, I'm just
not buying it again.

677
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:51,830
- What the hell?

678
00:42:51,831 --> 00:42:54,149
Both of you guys aren't
feeling well at the same time?

679
00:42:54,150 --> 00:42:56,429
- I think it was Nicky's
mom's tuna casserole.

680
00:42:56,430 --> 00:42:57,469
- No, you know what I think it was?

681
00:42:57,470 --> 00:42:59,319
You guys were retarded, and snorted

682
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,310
Anbesol and drank Jack Daniel's.

683
00:43:02,390 --> 00:43:03,220
Okay?

684
00:43:03,221 --> 00:43:05,019
Yeah, totally.

685
00:43:05,020 --> 00:43:06,179
That's your fault only, come on, let's go.

686
00:43:06,180 --> 00:43:07,269
Get five, five.

687
00:43:07,270 --> 00:43:09,020
- Let's get on stage.

688
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:16,009
- Ladies and gentlemen, and
those who haven't decided

689
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:18,769
on their gender yet, the Jonas Brothers

690
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:23,069
at the senior citizens center, Miley Cyrus

691
00:43:23,070 --> 00:43:26,579
used to open for them but
her mother made her stop.

692
00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:30,599
Grunge rock, punk rock, no,
they have their own subgenre.

693
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,669
It's called garbage rock.

694
00:43:32,670 --> 00:43:35,009
They used to be known as The Dumpsters.

695
00:43:35,010 --> 00:43:36,829
(audience laughing)

696
00:43:36,830 --> 00:43:38,089
Their acne was so bad,

697
00:43:38,090 --> 00:43:41,430
the only groupies they could
get had a thing for lepers.

698
00:43:42,380 --> 00:43:45,989
Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado,

699
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,740
let me present Vampire Godzillas.

700
00:43:50,490 --> 00:43:55,490
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)

701
00:44:07,380 --> 00:44:08,460
- What, what!

702
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,509
(audience cheering)

703
00:44:11,510 --> 00:44:15,139
Johnny Severed Goat's mother fucking Head!

704
00:44:15,140 --> 00:44:18,379
(audience cheering)
(plays chords)

705
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:19,550
Chainsaw Mike!

706
00:44:20,910 --> 00:44:24,609
(audience cheering)

707
00:44:24,610 --> 00:44:27,479
All right, we're bringing
it to the afterlife.

708
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,369
(audience cheering)

709
00:44:29,370 --> 00:44:32,120
(dramatic music)

710
00:44:33,660 --> 00:44:36,599
Cthulhu in the house tonight.

711
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,520
Giving us that fish power,
and that fish smell.

712
00:44:43,940 --> 00:44:46,440
(metal music)

713
00:45:28,700 --> 00:45:31,450
(dramatic music)

714
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,489
- These things happen.

715
00:46:14,490 --> 00:46:16,869
I mean, before long, I'm going to be rid

716
00:46:16,870 --> 00:46:19,969
of all this extra weight,
I'm actually quite

717
00:46:19,970 --> 00:46:22,629
a youthful woman under all of this.

718
00:46:22,630 --> 00:46:24,050
I'm a real tiger.

719
00:46:25,130 --> 00:46:27,409
- I have nothing against kids.

720
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:29,330
I actually prefer them.

721
00:46:30,690 --> 00:46:33,440
(dramatic music)

722
00:46:46,620 --> 00:46:49,389
- You remind me of my father.

723
00:46:49,390 --> 00:46:52,009
- Nah, that's okay,

724
00:46:52,010 --> 00:46:57,010
because vice is nice, but incest is best.

725
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:01,550
(dramatic music)

726
00:47:10,540 --> 00:47:13,540
(audience cheering)

727
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,440
- We're coming to you
from beyond the grave.

728
00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:25,280
And, boy, are our arms tired.

729
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,120
All right.

730
00:47:29,250 --> 00:47:31,750
(metal music)

731
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:06,380
(audience cheering)

732
00:48:11,300 --> 00:48:13,550
(groaning)

733
00:48:28,380 --> 00:48:33,380
(dramatic music)
(screaming)

734
00:48:44,810 --> 00:48:47,419
- Oh, my God, this shit is real.

735
00:48:47,420 --> 00:48:52,420
(dramatic music)
(screaming)

736
00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:05,039
♪ I get a chill in my spine ♪

737
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:08,419
♪ In the night they come to take my life ♪

738
00:49:08,420 --> 00:49:11,499
(bones crack)

739
00:49:11,500 --> 00:49:16,500
(whacking)
(dramatic music)

740
00:49:26,780 --> 00:49:27,780
- Shit.

741
00:49:30,140 --> 00:49:31,819
- Mickey, where's the exit?

742
00:49:31,820 --> 00:49:33,219
- Yeah, this way.

743
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:36,310
- Wait, don't forget my crooked past.

744
00:49:37,370 --> 00:49:39,530
(screams)

745
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:54,280
- Barricade the door,
barricade the door, hurry.

746
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,489
- Take the board.

747
00:49:57,490 --> 00:50:02,320
(chattering)
(clattering)

748
00:50:08,430 --> 00:50:11,260
- [Mikey] We gotta get outta here.

749
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,579
- I think I wet myself.

750
00:50:17,580 --> 00:50:18,410
- Baby.

751
00:50:18,411 --> 00:50:20,819
(cries)

752
00:50:20,820 --> 00:50:22,199
- What happened to Chainsaw Mike

753
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:23,699
and Johnny Severed Goat's Head?

754
00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:25,169
What happened to everybody?

755
00:50:25,170 --> 00:50:26,769
- Everything's going to be okay, mickey.

756
00:50:26,770 --> 00:50:28,169
We just have to go somewhere safe

757
00:50:28,170 --> 00:50:29,499
where we can hole up for a while

758
00:50:29,500 --> 00:50:31,029
and watch the news and find out

759
00:50:31,030 --> 00:50:32,719
exactly what we're up against.

760
00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:34,709
- Yeah, well, we certainly can't stay

761
00:50:34,710 --> 00:50:36,039
here very long because that door will

762
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,339
never take the weight of
those, whatever they are.

763
00:50:38,340 --> 00:50:42,449
- Whoa, this is just like
The Zombies Ate My Neighbors.

764
00:50:42,450 --> 00:50:43,710
It's a video game I play.

765
00:50:44,780 --> 00:50:45,610
- [Liza] Okay.

766
00:50:45,611 --> 00:50:47,829
- Wait, you guys, the zombie
Holocaust survival guide.

767
00:50:47,830 --> 00:50:48,969
- [Linda] There's a guide?

768
00:50:48,970 --> 00:50:50,199
- You have it?

769
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:50,990
- Yeah, it's a guide.

770
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:51,870
- Oh, Jesus Christ.

771
00:50:51,871 --> 00:50:53,929
- Okay, all right, let's see what it says.

772
00:50:53,930 --> 00:50:58,930
Okay, stay in a fortified
place like a basement,

773
00:50:59,180 --> 00:51:03,270
lie low, watch the television
and radio broadcasts,

774
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,270
board up the windows and the doors,

775
00:51:07,240 --> 00:51:09,849
under no circumstances
go to any shopping malls,

776
00:51:09,850 --> 00:51:13,289
and just sit tight and wait
for the helicopters to arrive.

777
00:51:13,290 --> 00:51:14,299
- Well, that sounds like that would work

778
00:51:14,300 --> 00:51:16,769
in the movies, but this is real life.

779
00:51:16,770 --> 00:51:18,940
(screams)

780
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:21,310
- What choice do we have?

781
00:51:23,990 --> 00:51:25,569
- Oh, God, please hurry, let me in.

782
00:51:25,570 --> 00:51:28,320
Please, please, please let me in.

783
00:51:29,170 --> 00:51:31,340
(screams)

784
00:51:34,730 --> 00:51:36,659
Please, I have a child, for God's sake,

785
00:51:36,660 --> 00:51:37,490
you wouldn't let your friend

786
00:51:37,491 --> 00:51:40,269
get eaten by a zombie, would you?

787
00:51:40,270 --> 00:51:42,349
(screams)

788
00:51:42,350 --> 00:51:44,289
- Wait, it's not the
zombies, it's Cassandra.

789
00:51:44,290 --> 00:51:46,189
- Leave this bitch out there,

790
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:48,489
she deserves to be eaten by those.

791
00:51:48,490 --> 00:51:50,689
- Let her die a horrible
death, she deserves it.

792
00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:52,139
- [Liza] I'm letting her in.

793
00:51:52,140 --> 00:51:53,829
- Liza, no.

794
00:51:53,830 --> 00:51:54,920
- Get off me.

795
00:51:57,850 --> 00:51:59,699
Come on, help me, help me.

796
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:04,700
(dramatic music)
(clattering)

797
00:52:06,140 --> 00:52:11,140
(crying out)
(dramatic music)

798
00:52:22,770 --> 00:52:24,190
- Oh, disgusting.

799
00:52:28,540 --> 00:52:30,769
- Thank you, you'll be glad you let me in.

800
00:52:30,770 --> 00:52:32,229
I know a safe place where we can go.

801
00:52:32,230 --> 00:52:34,310
- How do we know that we can trust you?

802
00:52:35,210 --> 00:52:36,140
- My brother, he's a doctor.

803
00:52:36,141 --> 00:52:37,849
He lives really close to here.

804
00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:38,959
If the streets aren't plagued with

805
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,139
these things yet, we can make it.

806
00:52:41,140 --> 00:52:42,979
- I don't trust doctors.

807
00:52:42,980 --> 00:52:44,569
They're all womanizing, married men

808
00:52:44,570 --> 00:52:46,549
who have 14 gold-digging mistresses.

809
00:52:46,550 --> 00:52:48,079
- My brother's gay.

810
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:48,910
- Doctors help people.

811
00:52:48,911 --> 00:52:51,459
- Well, what choice do we have?

812
00:52:51,460 --> 00:52:54,559
(zombies growling)
(banging)

813
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,159
- Come on, let's go up these stairs,

814
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:59,079
there might be a way out up there.

815
00:52:59,080 --> 00:52:59,920
Come on, let's go.

816
00:52:59,921 --> 00:53:03,689
(dramatic music)
(zombies growling)

817
00:53:03,690 --> 00:53:05,279
- There's my car, come on, we can all fit.

818
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:06,399
- Come on, Liza.

819
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,269
I'll protect you from the zombie predator,

820
00:53:09,270 --> 00:53:10,969
let's get to the car.

821
00:53:10,970 --> 00:53:13,720
(dramatic music)

822
00:53:18,130 --> 00:53:23,130
(screaming)
(dramatic music)

823
00:53:26,770 --> 00:53:29,520
(dramatic music)

824
00:53:38,290 --> 00:53:39,290
- Brains.

825
00:53:42,660 --> 00:53:44,990
(screaming)

826
00:53:57,090 --> 00:53:57,920
(doorbell rings)

827
00:53:57,921 --> 00:54:00,670
(dramatic music)

828
00:54:04,300 --> 00:54:05,849
- Oh, my God, sister.

829
00:54:05,850 --> 00:54:07,829
You look worse than that time you caught

830
00:54:07,830 --> 00:54:09,949
that vaginal staph infection from getting

831
00:54:09,950 --> 00:54:13,459
double fisted by a guy with filthy hands.

832
00:54:13,460 --> 00:54:14,450
- Brother, haven't you heard?

833
00:54:14,451 --> 00:54:16,139
There are brain-hungry, bloodthirsty

834
00:54:16,140 --> 00:54:17,419
zombies all over Wormwood.

835
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:19,159
I barely escaped with my life.

836
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,679
- Oh, and I see you had to
bring these trainees with you?

837
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:22,789
- They're former schoolgirls.

838
00:54:22,790 --> 00:54:24,289
I mean, Ghoul Scouts.

839
00:54:24,290 --> 00:54:27,839
Anyway, I've also got the
notorious Vampire Godzillas,

840
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,189
the surviving members, anyway.

841
00:54:29,190 --> 00:54:31,219
We're hoping to stay safe
from further zombie attacks

842
00:54:31,220 --> 00:54:32,050
in your fortified layout.

843
00:54:32,051 --> 00:54:33,400
- Of course, please come in.

844
00:54:45,210 --> 00:54:47,169
Patsy, Patsy, get down here.

845
00:54:47,170 --> 00:54:49,649
There are guests to be attended to.

846
00:54:49,650 --> 00:54:53,869
- This is Liza, Doctor, Linda, Doctor.

847
00:54:53,870 --> 00:54:55,689
Wendy, Doctor, Sherry, Doctor,

848
00:54:55,690 --> 00:54:58,960
and this is Billy, Doctor,
and Mickey, Doctor.

849
00:55:00,450 --> 00:55:02,700
(slurping)

850
00:55:03,590 --> 00:55:04,590
- Nice to meet you.

851
00:55:06,340 --> 00:55:11,340
This, you see right here,
this is Patsy, my man servant.

852
00:55:11,630 --> 00:55:14,699
He should be taking care
of all of your needs.

853
00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:16,659
Let me know if he looks you in the eyes.

854
00:55:16,660 --> 00:55:18,919
He knows he's not supposed to do that.

855
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:19,920
Right, Patsy?

856
00:55:20,740 --> 00:55:21,899
Patsy?

857
00:55:21,900 --> 00:55:23,259
I need you to go get some boards

858
00:55:23,260 --> 00:55:25,849
and some nails from the workshop.

859
00:55:25,850 --> 00:55:28,439
Start boarding up these windows, huh?

860
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:31,319
And then go fetch us some
cocktails from the wet bar.

861
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:32,270
Chop, chop.

862
00:55:32,271 --> 00:55:33,789
- Yes, yes, Doctor.

863
00:55:33,790 --> 00:55:35,009
- Chop, chop.

864
00:55:35,010 --> 00:55:36,639
- Right away.

865
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,730
- Patsy, you're taking
entirely too long, as usual.

866
00:55:43,170 --> 00:55:44,110
Ah.

867
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:44,990
(tray clatters)

868
00:55:44,991 --> 00:55:46,489
These drinks are way too dry.

869
00:55:46,490 --> 00:55:49,159
Don't be such a goddamn
lady with the vermouth.

870
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:53,309
Listen, I want you to go and put ribbons

871
00:55:53,310 --> 00:55:54,839
on the necks of all the baby bunnies

872
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:58,949
in the Zac Efron room, and
shave their little ears again,

873
00:55:58,950 --> 00:56:00,900
and then report back to me immediately.

874
00:56:03,740 --> 00:56:04,570
Sorry.

875
00:56:04,571 --> 00:56:05,729
I have to apologize to you for

876
00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:07,829
the behavior of that man servant, Patsy.

877
00:56:07,830 --> 00:56:09,959
One of my more charitable acts

878
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:11,560
is to hire the fucking retarded.

879
00:56:12,810 --> 00:56:13,909
I mean, mentally challenged.

880
00:56:13,910 --> 00:56:15,880
We get a little bit of a break

881
00:56:16,830 --> 00:56:19,059
with our partnership with Walmart.

882
00:56:19,060 --> 00:56:20,629
But please drink up.

883
00:56:20,630 --> 00:56:23,169
Come in, make yourselves comfortable.

884
00:56:23,170 --> 00:56:26,029
Anything you need, you let me know.

885
00:56:26,030 --> 00:56:28,180
Throw something at
Patsy, keep us in touch.

886
00:56:29,470 --> 00:56:31,179
You know you're sitting here

887
00:56:31,180 --> 00:56:33,229
in the world famous jungle room.

888
00:56:33,230 --> 00:56:34,819
You know this very room has been featured

889
00:56:34,820 --> 00:56:39,209
in Harper's Bazaar, Conde
Nast, Italian Vogue,

890
00:56:39,210 --> 00:56:42,160
International Leatherman's
Quarterly, as you probably know.

891
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,129
And we have Patsy's dungeon.

892
00:56:45,130 --> 00:56:48,379
It's where most of the little
paperwork things get done.

893
00:56:48,380 --> 00:56:50,819
Upstairs, we have the David Bowie room,

894
00:56:50,820 --> 00:56:54,129
the Freddie Mercury room,
the Marc Bolan room.

895
00:56:54,130 --> 00:56:56,229
Down the hall over here and to the left

896
00:56:56,230 --> 00:56:59,109
is the Keanu Reeves
room, the Zac Efron room,

897
00:56:59,110 --> 00:57:03,439
and the Justin Bieber room,
you know the party rooms.

898
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:06,010
- So what's like downstairs?

899
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,949
- Downstairs is my laboratory
where I'm coming up

900
00:57:11,950 --> 00:57:15,899
with a couple of cures
to horrible diseases,

901
00:57:15,900 --> 00:57:18,999
just Crohn's disease,
Lou Gehrig's disease,

902
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,260
restless legs syndrome, several
nasty strains of hepatitis,

903
00:57:24,390 --> 00:57:28,760
unnecessary amounts of
anal discharge, jock itch.

904
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:34,179
Oh, and I'm also being
applauded for my work

905
00:57:34,180 --> 00:57:36,999
helping the poor lepers of Uzbekistan.

906
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,529
- Wow, you are quite a humanitarian.

907
00:57:39,530 --> 00:57:42,169
- How about coming up with
a cure for this crazy zombie

908
00:57:42,170 --> 00:57:44,879
mess before it spreads
throughout the world?

909
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:47,689
- That's an excellent idea young man.

910
00:57:47,690 --> 00:57:48,899
You know autoimmune disease

911
00:57:48,900 --> 00:57:52,919
are my specialty as are brain disorders.

912
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,629
And flesh eating bacterias of New Guinea.

913
00:57:55,630 --> 00:57:58,839
- Oh, doctor, it says
in my zombie holocaust

914
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,129
survival guide that zombieism

915
00:58:01,130 --> 00:58:04,849
is a result of several possible scenarios,

916
00:58:04,850 --> 00:58:07,839
industrial waste exposure,
radiation from satellites,

917
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:12,840
exposure to toxic waste, the
end of the world, doomsday.

918
00:58:14,550 --> 00:58:16,039
- What are zombies?

919
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:17,429
- Well, I'm sure there's a very

920
00:58:17,430 --> 00:58:19,529
scientific explanation for all of it.

921
00:58:19,530 --> 00:58:22,579
My sister and I, we're going
to get to the bottom of it.

922
00:58:22,580 --> 00:58:24,549
So if you just make
yourselves comfortable.

923
00:58:24,550 --> 00:58:26,159
You'll excuse me.

924
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:26,990
- Of course.

925
00:58:26,991 --> 00:58:28,859
Thank you, doctor.

926
00:58:28,860 --> 00:58:29,860
- Stay.

927
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:32,500
Cunts.

928
00:58:35,860 --> 00:58:38,610
(hammer banging)

929
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,469
- I think this is our
chance to get out of here.

930
00:58:43,470 --> 00:58:45,709
If we stay here, we're just sitting ducks.

931
00:58:45,710 --> 00:58:47,589
Cassandra went upstairs, we
can get out of here for good.

932
00:58:47,590 --> 00:58:48,669
No one will even notice.

933
00:58:48,670 --> 00:58:49,839
- Linda, are you crazy?

934
00:58:49,840 --> 00:58:51,629
Patsy's boarding everything up.

935
00:58:51,630 --> 00:58:54,949
This is the safest place
we can stay for the night.

936
00:58:54,950 --> 00:58:57,049
In the morning we'll reassess.

937
00:58:57,050 --> 00:58:59,369
- Liza, you've never
lived in the real world.

938
00:58:59,370 --> 00:59:02,329
These two, Cassandra
and her doctor brother,

939
00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:04,179
they're up to no good, I can feel it.

940
00:59:04,180 --> 00:59:05,779
Now's our chance to jump ship.

941
00:59:05,780 --> 00:59:08,619
We can go to somewhere else
and just wait it out there.

942
00:59:08,620 --> 00:59:09,919
Here we don't stand a chance.

943
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:11,229
- I kind of agree with Linda.

944
00:59:11,230 --> 00:59:12,709
I don't trust this Claw character

945
00:59:12,710 --> 00:59:14,799
any further than I can throw him.

946
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,459
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised

947
00:59:16,460 --> 00:59:18,859
if he's listening to our
conversation right now.

948
00:59:18,860 --> 00:59:21,059
- Okay, paranoid people.

949
00:59:21,060 --> 00:59:24,039
Tell me, where are we
going to run to then?

950
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:27,489
- We can go somewhere safe and
fortified, like a basement.

951
00:59:27,490 --> 00:59:28,370
- Or a shopping mall.

952
00:59:28,371 --> 00:59:29,429
- Or a bar.

953
00:59:29,430 --> 00:59:30,889
- We can go to the basement of the bar

954
00:59:30,890 --> 00:59:34,059
in the mall, like the
one that Ruby Tuesday's.

955
00:59:34,060 --> 00:59:36,479
That's where I used to watch Lost.

956
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:37,519
- Great idea, Wendy.

957
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:39,649
- You know, the zombie
survival guide doesn't

958
00:59:39,650 --> 00:59:43,229
say anything about the
basement of shopping mall bars.

959
00:59:43,230 --> 00:59:44,319
Oh, but dude, there's is that

960
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,230
sweet ass role playing store nearby.

961
00:59:48,870 --> 00:59:51,139
- You guys are all getting
ahead of yourselves.

962
00:59:51,140 --> 00:59:53,179
Bill, what does the book say to do

963
00:59:53,180 --> 00:59:56,679
when you're already in a fortified lair?

964
00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,159
- Fortified lair, fortified
lair, fortified lair.

965
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:01,229
- That book doesn't know anything.

966
01:00:01,230 --> 01:00:02,429
Now who's with me?

967
01:00:02,430 --> 01:00:04,179
I say we leave before
they come back downstairs.

968
01:00:04,180 --> 01:00:05,819
- Well I can kind of see
where she has a point.

969
01:00:05,820 --> 01:00:08,509
- For God sakes, Linda, you're
always trying to sabotage me.

970
01:00:08,510 --> 01:00:10,049
You're always trying to control every

971
01:00:10,050 --> 01:00:11,649
situation and I'm sick of it.

972
01:00:11,650 --> 01:00:15,739
- Who's trying to control
what, you a little bitch.

973
01:00:15,740 --> 01:00:16,749
- I got it, I got it.

974
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:18,000
- Girls, girls.

975
01:00:19,570 --> 01:00:20,699
Bill is trying to say something.

976
01:00:20,700 --> 01:00:21,779
- Fortified lair.

977
01:00:21,780 --> 01:00:24,249
Fortified lair, stay in a fortified lair

978
01:00:24,250 --> 01:00:27,109
for as long as you can,
turn on the television

979
01:00:27,110 --> 01:00:29,670
and do everything that news
anchors tell you to do.

980
01:00:34,970 --> 01:00:37,249
- For those of you just tuning in,

981
01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:41,249
the government has not released
any official explanation

982
01:00:41,250 --> 01:00:44,649
for the phenomenon which
started in Bergen County,

983
01:00:44,650 --> 01:00:49,650
New Jersey of the dead walking
around eating the living.

984
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:55,400
We strongly advise you to stay
put and not leave your house,

985
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:59,679
to lock windows and
doors, and to stay put.

986
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,619
Stay tuned for further updates.

987
01:01:02,620 --> 01:01:06,019
- See, I told you we should stay here.

988
01:01:06,020 --> 01:01:07,179
- What do the news people know anyway,

989
01:01:07,180 --> 01:01:10,179
I still think it's safer in
the basement of Friday's.

990
01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:11,849
- Ruby Tuesday's.

991
01:01:11,850 --> 01:01:13,009
- Whatever.

992
01:01:13,010 --> 01:01:15,109
- Is this new disease in any way

993
01:01:15,110 --> 01:01:17,259
related to mad cow's disease?

994
01:01:17,260 --> 01:01:21,629
And if so, do you think that
your burgers are responsible?

995
01:01:21,630 --> 01:01:23,119
- Well, absolutely not.

996
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:25,049
First of all, there is no evidence

997
01:01:25,050 --> 01:01:27,139
that this phenomenon is a disease.

998
01:01:27,140 --> 01:01:29,959
And second of all, well,
there's no scientific link

999
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,909
between mad cow disease
and this phenomenon.

1000
01:01:32,910 --> 01:01:35,829
- People have been seen
leaving your institution,

1001
01:01:35,830 --> 01:01:39,659
having ordered a seventh
eight pound Mc-flesh burger,

1002
01:01:39,660 --> 01:01:42,389
an order of fries, and a Coca-Cola,

1003
01:01:42,390 --> 01:01:45,620
and shortly thereafter have
become the living dead.

1004
01:01:46,990 --> 01:01:48,530
- Well, that's preposterous.

1005
01:01:50,140 --> 01:01:51,559
- Look at what happened to Chainsaw Mike

1006
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:53,250
and Johnny Severed Goat's Head.

1007
01:01:58,560 --> 01:01:59,769
They were infected by this,

1008
01:01:59,770 --> 01:02:02,020
whatever it is, before
they were even bitten.

1009
01:02:03,340 --> 01:02:04,369
I don't get it.

1010
01:02:04,370 --> 01:02:05,509
We're with them all day

1011
01:02:05,510 --> 01:02:08,049
and because we already had
the Boba Fett action figures

1012
01:02:08,050 --> 01:02:09,769
we didn't even go to McDonald's.

1013
01:02:09,770 --> 01:02:11,940
- I'm telling you that
TV doesn't know anything.

1014
01:02:12,870 --> 01:02:15,319
I still think that basement
is a good alternative.

1015
01:02:15,320 --> 01:02:17,169
How do we know that Les Bush

1016
01:02:17,170 --> 01:02:20,209
and her doctor brother aren't
the ones responsible for this?

1017
01:02:20,210 --> 01:02:22,729
- He's a humanitarian.

1018
01:02:22,730 --> 01:02:24,070
Does he at least eat fish?

1019
01:02:25,430 --> 01:02:26,849
- I'm here at the residence

1020
01:02:26,850 --> 01:02:30,089
of renowned neurologist, Dr. Ned Beatty.

1021
01:02:30,090 --> 01:02:32,319
Doctor, wait, is your name

1022
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,589
really Ned Beatty, like the actor?

1023
01:02:34,590 --> 01:02:36,889
- My findings indicate that the disease

1024
01:02:36,890 --> 01:02:40,299
is intricately related to
the central nervous system.

1025
01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:42,009
- You didn't answer my question.

1026
01:02:42,010 --> 01:02:43,639
- It is important to recognize that

1027
01:02:43,640 --> 01:02:46,659
the phenomena is spread
by the bitten victim.

1028
01:02:46,660 --> 01:02:49,179
The bite is how the infection is spread.

1029
01:02:49,180 --> 01:02:51,569
This is important in this
phenomenon to realize

1030
01:02:51,570 --> 01:02:54,549
that it's either an
infection or a disease.

1031
01:02:54,550 --> 01:02:57,089
Also to kill the living
dead, you need a gunshot

1032
01:02:57,090 --> 01:03:00,569
to the head, to the head or their brains

1033
01:03:00,570 --> 01:03:02,520
must be destroyed in some other manner.

1034
01:03:05,850 --> 01:03:07,899
- You were bitten weren't you Liza?

1035
01:03:07,900 --> 01:03:09,919
Where did all the blood that
you had on you come from?

1036
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:11,389
- How do we know you
weren't the one bitten?

1037
01:03:11,390 --> 01:03:13,539
There you go, blaming others.

1038
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:14,979
- Go on, examine me, bitch.

1039
01:03:14,980 --> 01:03:16,629
- Okay, none of us were bit.

1040
01:03:16,630 --> 01:03:18,389
And even if we were, what
would we do about it?

1041
01:03:18,390 --> 01:03:20,159
Shoot each other in the head?

1042
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,689
We've got to stick together.

1043
01:03:22,690 --> 01:03:24,690
We've got to stop alienating each other.

1044
01:03:29,900 --> 01:03:34,139
- This bulletin just
in, police and officials

1045
01:03:34,140 --> 01:03:36,920
have released descriptions of the undead.

1046
01:03:37,820 --> 01:03:40,319
It seems there are an overwhelming number

1047
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:43,779
of white males in their early
twenties with messy hair,

1048
01:03:43,780 --> 01:03:47,739
tattoos, body piercings,
wearing tight blue jeans,

1049
01:03:47,740 --> 01:03:49,659
T-shirts, and hooded sweatshirts.

1050
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,759
- Yes, it seems that establishments

1051
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,379
such as American Apparel, the Apple store,

1052
01:03:54,380 --> 01:03:56,949
vegan restaurants, and
vintage and thrift shops

1053
01:03:56,950 --> 01:03:59,139
are being overrun by the returning dead.

1054
01:03:59,140 --> 01:04:01,319
It's like they're going back to the places

1055
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:03,479
they used to frequent
when they were alive.

1056
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:06,339
We're here at Academy Records where

1057
01:04:06,340 --> 01:04:07,749
the living that are
showing up in hundreds,

1058
01:04:07,750 --> 01:04:10,600
and apparently they only
sell albums on vinyl.

1059
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,059
I'm here with Jim Hoosier, and Jim,

1060
01:04:14,060 --> 01:04:15,670
do you have any comment on that?

1061
01:04:17,490 --> 01:04:19,809
- It's kind of like before,

1062
01:04:19,810 --> 01:04:22,810
but I get to shoot them in the head.

1063
01:04:24,020 --> 01:04:26,049
It's not very good for business.

1064
01:04:26,050 --> 01:04:29,369
- Sorry, what about that guy right there?

1065
01:04:29,370 --> 01:04:31,460
(groans)

1066
01:04:35,650 --> 01:04:36,540
- He's a nice guy.

1067
01:04:36,541 --> 01:04:37,669
He's a nice guy.

1068
01:04:37,670 --> 01:04:39,459
- And then there's this report.

1069
01:04:39,460 --> 01:04:40,799
Take it Scotty.

1070
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:42,970
(yelling)

1071
01:04:48,910 --> 01:04:50,579
- All over the New York
and New Jersey area,

1072
01:04:50,580 --> 01:04:52,089
local residents are banding together

1073
01:04:52,090 --> 01:04:55,099
(static) help on zombies.

1074
01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:55,930
I'm here with.

1075
01:04:55,931 --> 01:04:57,069
- Oh shit!

1076
01:04:57,070 --> 01:04:59,659
(yelling)

1077
01:04:59,660 --> 01:05:01,080
Come on, get him.

1078
01:05:03,300 --> 01:05:08,220
(screaming)
(eerie music)

1079
01:05:29,270 --> 01:05:33,429
- Come one, the news has
become so sensational.

1080
01:05:33,430 --> 01:05:34,459
There's got to be something else

1081
01:05:34,460 --> 01:05:38,509
on like the Spice channel or something.

1082
01:05:38,510 --> 01:05:41,999
- Hey, the doors and the
windows are all boarded up.

1083
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,470
I think we're perfectly safe.

1084
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,880
I don't see why we can't
enjoy ourselves a little.

1085
01:05:48,790 --> 01:05:50,629
- Well, you have a point.

1086
01:05:50,630 --> 01:05:51,909
We're definitely in for the night

1087
01:05:51,910 --> 01:05:54,629
and there's nothing left
to do until morning.

1088
01:05:54,630 --> 01:05:57,210
(upbeat music)

1089
01:06:11,190 --> 01:06:12,130
- Okay, you know what?

1090
01:06:12,131 --> 01:06:13,649
Clearly this bottle is possessed

1091
01:06:13,650 --> 01:06:17,320
because I am so tired of
French kissing my best friend.

1092
01:06:18,330 --> 01:06:19,940
Thank God for CinnaMints.

1093
01:06:21,670 --> 01:06:22,779
Let's try truth or dare.

1094
01:06:22,780 --> 01:06:24,169
Who wants to go first?

1095
01:06:24,170 --> 01:06:25,279
- [Linda] I will.

1096
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:28,020
- Okay, let's see what you're made of.

1097
01:06:28,930 --> 01:06:30,770
- Liza, truth or dare.

1098
01:06:34,850 --> 01:06:35,850
- Truth.

1099
01:06:37,990 --> 01:06:41,749
- Have you ever been fired
from an airline stewardess job?

1100
01:06:41,750 --> 01:06:43,279
- Linda, don't, don't you dare.

1101
01:06:43,280 --> 01:06:44,959
- For being an incompetent drunk,

1102
01:06:44,960 --> 01:06:47,760
stealing vodka, and
vomiting in your uniform.

1103
01:06:48,910 --> 01:06:49,910
- Fuck you.

1104
01:06:50,810 --> 01:06:53,560
(dramatic music)

1105
01:06:56,660 --> 01:06:57,879
- Liza, it's okay.

1106
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,989
I've been in love with you
ever since my family's trip

1107
01:07:00,990 --> 01:07:03,869
to Disneyland, which was
tragically cut short when

1108
01:07:03,870 --> 01:07:05,219
my father fell into a coma

1109
01:07:05,220 --> 01:07:06,919
after being served the wrong drink.

1110
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:11,920
But that doesn't matter because
he was a bastard anyway.

1111
01:07:12,410 --> 01:07:13,679
- I love you too.

1112
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:16,430
(dramatic music)

1113
01:07:29,770 --> 01:07:31,039
- Oh my God, oh my God.

1114
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:32,199
Oh my God, stop.

1115
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:33,659
Stop.

1116
01:07:33,660 --> 01:07:35,929
Stop, okay.

1117
01:07:35,930 --> 01:07:39,159
You guys are ruining my life.

1118
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:40,669
And by that, I mean this game

1119
01:07:40,670 --> 01:07:44,999
with your how to lose
a guy in 10 days crap.

1120
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:45,990
All right.

1121
01:07:45,991 --> 01:07:50,619
If I am ever to feel the welcoming embrace

1122
01:07:50,620 --> 01:07:54,429
of a glistening vulva,
any time in my life,

1123
01:07:54,430 --> 01:07:56,649
I'm going to have to take serious

1124
01:07:56,650 --> 01:07:59,619
control of this situation, okay?

1125
01:07:59,620 --> 01:08:04,280
So Sherrie, truth or dare.

1126
01:08:06,800 --> 01:08:07,800
- Truth.

1127
01:08:09,370 --> 01:08:10,490
Kidding, dare.

1128
01:08:11,620 --> 01:08:16,570
- I dare you to kiss me
on the mouth with tongue.

1129
01:08:18,660 --> 01:08:20,600
- Wow, is that it?

1130
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:25,199
I thought you were going to amp this up.

1131
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:28,069
Have me put a cock ring
on a rubber chicken

1132
01:08:28,070 --> 01:08:30,889
or 10 minutes with me in the closet

1133
01:08:30,890 --> 01:08:33,599
so I can prove I'm blowjob
queen of the East coast.

1134
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:37,429
Or who knows, maybe even tie
a cherry stem with my lips.

1135
01:08:37,430 --> 01:08:40,539
Do you want to be blindfolded?

1136
01:08:40,540 --> 01:08:41,370
- Yeah.

1137
01:08:41,371 --> 01:08:46,370
♪ Baby trying to get back home ♪

1138
01:08:49,010 --> 01:08:52,849
♪ I went back in Louisiana ♪

1139
01:08:52,850 --> 01:08:56,770
♪ Whatever good bar aint going ♪

1140
01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:08,029
♪ I tried to tell you ♪

1141
01:09:08,030 --> 01:09:11,449
♪ Austen aint my home ♪

1142
01:09:11,450 --> 01:09:15,040
- Okay, that's enough
for you birthday boy.

1143
01:09:23,630 --> 01:09:26,230
Wendy, truth or dare?

1144
01:09:27,610 --> 01:09:28,810
- Which one is the dare?

1145
01:09:29,710 --> 01:09:30,710
- Dare.

1146
01:09:31,850 --> 01:09:34,319
- Okay, dare.

1147
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:38,599
- I dare you go downstairs
and see what doctor do-good

1148
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:40,559
and miss preggers are really up to

1149
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:43,579
in their top secret laboratory.

1150
01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:45,109
- Actually, that's a good idea.

1151
01:09:45,110 --> 01:09:47,189
I've been wondering what
those guys been up to.

1152
01:09:47,190 --> 01:09:48,190
- Okay.

1153
01:09:51,330 --> 01:09:52,609
- [Liza] Wendy, be careful.

1154
01:09:52,610 --> 01:09:53,390
- I'll be fine.

1155
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:54,270
I used to play lots of this game

1156
01:09:54,271 --> 01:09:55,519
with the high school football team

1157
01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:57,359
when I was in middle school.

1158
01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:58,749
Go bear tigers.

1159
01:09:58,750 --> 01:10:01,239
(trumpeting)

1160
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:03,990
(dramatic music)

1161
01:10:15,980 --> 01:10:18,859
- Now you know sister that I'm evil.

1162
01:10:18,860 --> 01:10:21,539
In fact, I'm one of the most evil doctors

1163
01:10:21,540 --> 01:10:23,679
the world has ever known.

1164
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:27,040
But the zombie epidemic,
it's not my evil doing.

1165
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:29,629
The serum I created would have turned

1166
01:10:29,630 --> 01:10:32,299
red blooded American hipster boys into

1167
01:10:32,300 --> 01:10:37,300
my own personal lobotomized
sex slaves, not these.

1168
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:40,920
These gnarl toothed dick eaters.

1169
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:44,220
I shutter to think.

1170
01:10:45,740 --> 01:10:48,389
This Mickey and Bill you have brought me,

1171
01:10:48,390 --> 01:10:49,800
if I could perfect my serum,

1172
01:10:50,730 --> 01:10:54,529
I can use the two of them
as my human Guinea pigs.

1173
01:10:54,530 --> 01:10:57,369
- Well we've got to something
about that plague of zombies.

1174
01:10:57,370 --> 01:11:00,429
Isn't there some kind of
antiserum you can come up with.

1175
01:11:00,430 --> 01:11:02,119
- Perhaps.

1176
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:04,929
Well, all I'd have to do is take

1177
01:11:04,930 --> 01:11:07,649
some stem cells from the umbilical cord

1178
01:11:07,650 --> 01:11:11,229
of that unborn baby, run
it through my opisometer

1179
01:11:11,230 --> 01:11:14,329
and there might very well
be a way out of this mess.

1180
01:11:14,330 --> 01:11:18,149
And I could perfect the serum,
and then rule the world.

1181
01:11:18,150 --> 01:11:20,590
My power will be strong and elite.

1182
01:11:22,030 --> 01:11:25,079
- And then we can open up a
whole legion of Dress Barns,

1183
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:28,229
then maybe a Fashion Bug,
maybe even a Mervyn's.

1184
01:11:28,230 --> 01:11:30,519
- Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

1185
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:33,739
We still have those tranny
sluts to get out of the way.

1186
01:11:33,740 --> 01:11:36,339
- Reform school girls,
I mean Ghoul Scouts.

1187
01:11:36,340 --> 01:11:38,239
- Yeah, yeah, and then Mickey

1188
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:40,740
and Bill will forever be in my control.

1189
01:11:41,690 --> 01:11:43,909
By morning I should have the antidote,

1190
01:11:43,910 --> 01:11:47,250
and then I can have the serum perfected.

1191
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:51,859
I still don't understand
what it is I did wrong,

1192
01:11:51,860 --> 01:11:56,019
but by the morning,
everything will be perfect.

1193
01:11:56,020 --> 01:11:59,209
In the meantime, we still have
to get rid of these sluts.

1194
01:11:59,210 --> 01:12:01,939
- Sorry about that troublemaker, Liza,

1195
01:12:01,940 --> 01:12:04,439
perhaps we can feed her to
your tied up zombies over here.

1196
01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:06,329
- I like your thinking sis,

1197
01:12:06,330 --> 01:12:08,690
and I know father would be proud too.

1198
01:12:11,270 --> 01:12:12,319
- You can do it.

1199
01:12:12,320 --> 01:12:13,170
- We can help.

1200
01:12:13,220 --> 01:12:14,000
- You can do it.

1201
01:12:14,050 --> 01:12:14,890
- We can help.

1202
01:12:14,891 --> 01:12:16,139
- [Both] You can do it.

1203
01:12:16,140 --> 01:12:16,970
We can help.

1204
01:12:16,971 --> 01:12:18,399
Fashion at a fraction.

1205
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,900
(Claw laughs)

1206
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:28,409
(Wendy screams)

1207
01:12:28,410 --> 01:12:29,709
- What was that?

1208
01:12:29,710 --> 01:12:32,710
(suspenseful music)

1209
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:49,199
(Wendy screams)

1210
01:12:49,200 --> 01:12:50,909
- Wendy, is that you?

1211
01:12:50,910 --> 01:12:53,580
(Wendy screams)

1212
01:12:54,730 --> 01:12:57,629
- Oh my God, the doctor's killing her.

1213
01:12:57,630 --> 01:12:59,129
- What?

1214
01:12:59,130 --> 01:13:01,809
- You guys, arm yourselves
with the hors d'oeuvre cutlery.

1215
01:13:01,810 --> 01:13:03,419
Let's go, come on.

1216
01:13:03,420 --> 01:13:06,170
(dramatic music)

1217
01:13:21,780 --> 01:13:23,709
- Take this Kyle, fuck you.

1218
01:13:23,710 --> 01:13:24,550
Take that.

1219
01:13:24,551 --> 01:13:29,550
(zombie grunting)
(whacking)

1220
01:13:29,670 --> 01:13:31,159
Fiend, take this cock.

1221
01:13:31,160 --> 01:13:32,389
- What are you doing?

1222
01:13:32,390 --> 01:13:34,859
- Flee, I'm the one saving the day,

1223
01:13:34,860 --> 01:13:36,299
in case you haven't noticed.

1224
01:13:36,300 --> 01:13:38,699
What don't you put my
coq au vin to good use.

1225
01:13:38,700 --> 01:13:41,899
Now since you've ruined
it with your girl fingers.

1226
01:13:41,900 --> 01:13:44,729
(dramatic music)

1227
01:13:44,730 --> 01:13:47,509
♪ I get a chill down my spine ♪

1228
01:13:47,510 --> 01:13:51,039
♪ In the night they come to take my life ♪

1229
01:13:51,040 --> 01:13:54,879
♪ And I know I won't see morning light ♪

1230
01:13:54,880 --> 01:13:59,339
♪ In the dawn babe, I'll be gone ♪

1231
01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:01,689
♪ And they're going to eat my brains ♪

1232
01:14:01,690 --> 01:14:06,529
♪ Drive me insane, be one of their own ♪

1233
01:14:06,530 --> 01:14:10,279
♪ You know they got me
these fucking zombies ♪

1234
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:13,909
♪ I'm gonna be one of them
tonight, one of them tonight ♪

1235
01:14:13,910 --> 01:14:18,319
♪ You know they got me,
these fucking zombies ♪

1236
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:20,739
- Oh my God, she's been bitten, badly.

1237
01:14:20,740 --> 01:14:22,189
She's going to turn into one of them.

1238
01:14:22,190 --> 01:14:23,030
- Please.

1239
01:14:23,031 --> 01:14:25,949
- You guys, zombie holocaust
survivor guide, chapter one,

1240
01:14:25,950 --> 01:14:27,599
if someone is bitten by a zombie

1241
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,459
you have to kill them or
they'll turn into a zombie.

1242
01:14:30,460 --> 01:14:31,680
- It's all my fault.

1243
01:14:32,790 --> 01:14:34,790
- Cassandra, mint clits.

1244
01:14:36,070 --> 01:14:36,910
- Let me do it.

1245
01:14:36,911 --> 01:14:38,189
- No, it's nobody's fault.

1246
01:14:38,190 --> 01:14:42,309
It's just a terrible, terrible accident.

1247
01:14:42,310 --> 01:14:43,140
And I'll do it.

1248
01:14:43,141 --> 01:14:44,839
- Let me do this.

1249
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:46,349
(dramatic music)

1250
01:14:46,350 --> 01:14:47,529
(Wendy growls)

1251
01:14:47,530 --> 01:14:48,919
- No, I can.

1252
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:49,900
(screams)

1253
01:14:49,901 --> 01:14:51,119
(gun fires)

1254
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:52,980
- Jesus Christ.

1255
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:57,949
- Patsy, what are you
doing out of your cage?

1256
01:14:57,950 --> 01:15:00,679
Get back in that dungeon
and finish your paperwork.

1257
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:02,889
No one asked you to be here.

1258
01:15:02,890 --> 01:15:04,179
March!

1259
01:15:04,180 --> 01:15:05,180
- Yes master.

1260
01:15:07,570 --> 01:15:10,539
- Why is he so mean to that retarded guy?

1261
01:15:10,540 --> 01:15:11,480
He saved our lives.

1262
01:15:11,481 --> 01:15:14,329
- I'm going to retire
back to my laboratory.

1263
01:15:14,330 --> 01:15:15,429
Someone has to continue

1264
01:15:15,430 --> 01:15:18,109
this tireless search to find the anecdote.

1265
01:15:18,110 --> 01:15:19,110
If anyone needs me.

1266
01:15:21,410 --> 01:15:22,889
- All right, listen up, cunts.

1267
01:15:22,890 --> 01:15:24,519
Your friend damn near just got us killed.

1268
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:26,089
Fun time's over.

1269
01:15:26,090 --> 01:15:27,569
If you're going to call
this place your home,

1270
01:15:27,570 --> 01:15:29,799
you're going to have to
continue by my rules.

1271
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:32,269
We've got to initiate zombie
watch, sleeping shifts.

1272
01:15:32,270 --> 01:15:33,160
- Told you we should have went

1273
01:15:33,161 --> 01:15:34,779
to the basement of the bar at the mall.

1274
01:15:34,780 --> 01:15:36,049
- Friday's.

1275
01:15:36,050 --> 01:15:37,749
- No, it was Tuesdays.

1276
01:15:37,750 --> 01:15:41,590
It was Ruby Tuesday's near
the role playing game store.

1277
01:15:42,750 --> 01:15:45,159
That's where she would go to watch Lost.

1278
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:47,910
(dramatic music)

1279
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:51,829
- We should all draw
straws to see the order

1280
01:15:51,830 --> 01:15:54,359
in which we should do the zombie watch.

1281
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:56,779
Each of us can take a four hour shift.

1282
01:15:56,780 --> 01:15:58,469
- [Mickey] Great idea, babe.

1283
01:15:58,470 --> 01:16:00,220
- Yeah, you're right.

1284
01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:02,610
- Wow, thanks.

1285
01:16:03,530 --> 01:16:04,500
- Thanks.

1286
01:16:04,501 --> 01:16:05,701
- [Mikey] Looking good, Patsy.

1287
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:10,540
- Oh, I'm always getting
the short end of the straw.

1288
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:15,250
I'll see you at four a.m.

1289
01:16:23,020 --> 01:16:25,680
(ominous music)

1290
01:16:33,860 --> 01:16:36,119
- So how many bedrooms are there?

1291
01:16:36,120 --> 01:16:39,089
- Well it looks like there's two here

1292
01:16:39,090 --> 01:16:41,349
and there's another one down the hall.

1293
01:16:41,350 --> 01:16:43,869
So me and Liza can share
because we're in love

1294
01:16:43,870 --> 01:16:47,410
and stuff, and you guys
can have separate rooms.

1295
01:16:52,610 --> 01:16:55,279
- Where are you going blindfold boy?

1296
01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:56,949
You didn't think we'd be the only ones

1297
01:16:56,950 --> 01:16:59,979
in this house not getting any did you?

1298
01:16:59,980 --> 01:17:01,479
Huh, well did you?

1299
01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:02,689
- No.

1300
01:17:02,690 --> 01:17:06,239
- You bet your sweet ass.

1301
01:17:06,240 --> 01:17:08,830
(gentle music)

1302
01:17:10,780 --> 01:17:12,779
- Whoa, Freddie lives.

1303
01:17:12,780 --> 01:17:15,360
(gentle music)

1304
01:17:23,980 --> 01:17:25,099
From the moment I first saw you

1305
01:17:25,100 --> 01:17:27,459
in your flight attendant uniform,

1306
01:17:27,460 --> 01:17:30,719
serving ginger ale to sun burnt tourists,

1307
01:17:30,720 --> 01:17:34,119
I knew you were meant to
be my D&D fantasy girl.

1308
01:17:34,120 --> 01:17:37,399
The Joanie to my Chachi,
the pawn to knight seven

1309
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:41,529
takes queen to rook four, my
princess in another castle.

1310
01:17:41,530 --> 01:17:44,269
My April the reporter with red hair,

1311
01:17:44,270 --> 01:17:46,789
you're like the cheerleader
in Revenge of the Nerds,

1312
01:17:46,790 --> 01:17:49,799
although I didn't need a Darth
Vader mask to take you home.

1313
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:53,649
- Nicky, I love you, but
we've only got four hours

1314
01:17:53,650 --> 01:17:55,199
and you are on your way

1315
01:17:55,200 --> 01:17:57,440
to taking up three and a half of them.

1316
01:18:06,420 --> 01:18:08,479
- Yes, give me more, more squeals.

1317
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:11,339
Squeals, come on little piggy.

1318
01:18:11,340 --> 01:18:16,090
(gentle music)
(moaning)

1319
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:22,160
Louder.

1320
01:18:24,010 --> 01:18:25,260
- Motherfucker.

1321
01:18:26,460 --> 01:18:28,429
- Naughty, naughty piggy.

1322
01:18:28,430 --> 01:18:33,350
(dramatic music)
(moaning)

1323
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:36,339
- Oh, is that too much milk?

1324
01:18:36,340 --> 01:18:37,750
Oh a little more.

1325
01:18:39,610 --> 01:18:41,950
(screaming)

1326
01:18:42,840 --> 01:18:43,840
Piggy.

1327
01:18:45,470 --> 01:18:48,299
Come on, say you're
sorry, say you're sorry.

1328
01:18:48,300 --> 01:18:49,729
- [Billy] I'm sorry.

1329
01:18:49,730 --> 01:18:51,039
- Come on squeal, piggy.

1330
01:18:51,040 --> 01:18:52,870
Piggy, squeal, squeal.

1331
01:18:53,740 --> 01:18:54,829
Faster, faster.

1332
01:18:54,830 --> 01:18:55,999
- Okay, yes, ma'am.

1333
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:56,910
- Oh, that's right.

1334
01:18:56,911 --> 01:18:59,119
Yes, who?

1335
01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:00,210
Oh that's it.

1336
01:19:01,270 --> 01:19:03,850
(gentle music)

1337
01:19:09,510 --> 01:19:12,260
(dramatic music)

1338
01:19:17,400 --> 01:19:19,980
(gentle music)

1339
01:19:33,810 --> 01:19:36,389
(Sherrie pukes)

1340
01:19:36,390 --> 01:19:38,229
Take that, motherfucker.

1341
01:19:38,230 --> 01:19:39,570
- Oh, yes ma'am.

1342
01:19:44,610 --> 01:19:46,440
- No, I love you most.

1343
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:52,120
I love you.

1344
01:19:54,470 --> 01:19:55,789
- I love you.

1345
01:19:55,790 --> 01:19:57,210
- No, I love you.

1346
01:19:58,610 --> 01:20:01,280
(gentle music)

1347
01:20:09,910 --> 01:20:11,380
- How's my little jailbird?

1348
01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:15,439
I didn't want you to have
to be down here all alone.

1349
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:17,360
- I don't feel so well.

1350
01:20:20,700 --> 01:20:21,530
- [Cassandra] I know something

1351
01:20:21,531 --> 01:20:23,529
that will make you feel better.

1352
01:20:23,530 --> 01:20:26,220
- No, seriously, I feel like total shit.

1353
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:30,119
- [Cassandra] You know, you
were always my favorite Linda.

1354
01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:31,349
After all this is over, I'm going

1355
01:20:31,350 --> 01:20:34,399
to let you manage all my chain stores.

1356
01:20:34,400 --> 01:20:36,399
- That's really nice of you Cassandra,

1357
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:39,739
but I just need to be left alone.

1358
01:20:39,740 --> 01:20:42,479
- I can't leave you
alone right now, Linda,

1359
01:20:42,480 --> 01:20:45,029
not with you not feeling good and all.

1360
01:20:45,030 --> 01:20:47,109
Let me just rub your shoulders.

1361
01:20:47,110 --> 01:20:48,609
You'll feel much better.

1362
01:20:48,610 --> 01:20:51,280
(gentle music)

1363
01:21:35,910 --> 01:21:37,719
You were such a hot little cheerleader

1364
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:40,039
when you came to our school.

1365
01:21:40,040 --> 01:21:41,919
I always held out the most hope for you.

1366
01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:44,670
(dramatic music)

1367
01:22:16,270 --> 01:22:18,509
(Linda growls)

1368
01:22:18,510 --> 01:22:21,399
Baby, you're a feisty little one.

1369
01:22:21,400 --> 01:22:23,949
I thought you weren't feeling well.

1370
01:22:23,950 --> 01:22:26,239
♪ What's your favorite song ♪

1371
01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:27,889
- Oh shit.

1372
01:22:27,890 --> 01:22:29,140
Jesus, God, no.

1373
01:22:29,980 --> 01:22:34,980
(Cassandra screaming)
(gentle music)

1374
01:22:56,730 --> 01:23:01,640
(whacking)
(gentle music)

1375
01:23:04,390 --> 01:23:09,390
♪ But I found out that was real ♪

1376
01:23:10,070 --> 01:23:13,849
♪ You're standing at my door ♪

1377
01:23:13,850 --> 01:23:18,850
♪ You're everything I want and more ♪

1378
01:23:19,880 --> 01:23:22,609
♪ Cause love is all you need ♪

1379
01:23:22,610 --> 01:23:24,159
♪ At the end of the day ♪

1380
01:23:24,160 --> 01:23:27,410
(Cassandra whimpering)

1381
01:23:39,080 --> 01:23:41,399
♪ Say you won't be mad ♪

1382
01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:42,929
♪ Oh baby ♪

1383
01:23:42,930 --> 01:23:45,099
♪ I just quit my job ♪

1384
01:23:45,100 --> 01:23:46,659
♪ You're crazy ♪

1385
01:23:46,660 --> 01:23:50,179
(Cassandra whimpering)

1386
01:23:50,180 --> 01:23:54,509
♪ That place never was your style ♪

1387
01:23:54,510 --> 01:23:57,760
(Cassandra crying out)

1388
01:24:08,510 --> 01:24:12,649
♪ A romance is easy to find ♪

1389
01:24:12,650 --> 01:24:15,900
(Cassandra crying out)

1390
01:24:16,940 --> 01:24:20,699
- Mickey, you're not like other men.

1391
01:24:20,700 --> 01:24:22,539
Do you know that?

1392
01:24:22,540 --> 01:24:23,540
- Yeah.

1393
01:24:24,870 --> 01:24:27,790
- Am I like other women you've had?

1394
01:24:29,520 --> 01:24:32,360
- No, you're not like any of them.

1395
01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:35,720
- I love you.

1396
01:24:37,210 --> 01:24:38,689
- I love you too.

1397
01:24:38,690 --> 01:24:41,360
(baby growling)

1398
01:24:53,140 --> 01:24:58,140
(Cassandra growling)
(baby growling)

1399
01:25:04,170 --> 01:25:06,670
(eerie music)

1400
01:25:12,940 --> 01:25:16,299
- They're coming to get you, Barbara.

1401
01:25:16,300 --> 01:25:18,659
- Stop it, you're ignorant.

1402
01:25:18,660 --> 01:25:21,519
- They're coming for you, Barbara.

1403
01:25:21,520 --> 01:25:22,350
- Stop it.

1404
01:25:22,351 --> 01:25:24,309
You're acting like a child.

1405
01:25:24,310 --> 01:25:26,509
- They're coming for you.

1406
01:25:26,510 --> 01:25:27,340
Look.

1407
01:25:27,341 --> 01:25:28,819
There comes one of them now.

1408
01:25:28,820 --> 01:25:30,069
- You should get some sleep

1409
01:25:30,070 --> 01:25:33,199
before I have to go replace Linda.

1410
01:25:33,200 --> 01:25:35,379
- Yeah, okay babe.

1411
01:25:35,380 --> 01:25:37,970
- Good night.

1412
01:25:39,590 --> 01:25:41,010
- [Sherrie] Yeah.

1413
01:25:42,220 --> 01:25:44,129
- Fuck me, Sherri.

1414
01:25:44,130 --> 01:25:45,589
- Oh Billy.

1415
01:25:45,590 --> 01:25:46,840
Oh yes, oh yes.

1416
01:25:57,180 --> 01:25:58,529
- What the fuck?

1417
01:25:58,530 --> 01:26:01,280
(Sherri screams)

1418
01:26:10,170 --> 01:26:11,670
Oh my fucking God!

1419
01:26:19,430 --> 01:26:20,430
Fuck!

1420
01:26:21,480 --> 01:26:24,150
(baby growling)

1421
01:26:26,340 --> 01:26:27,949
Oh my fucking God!

1422
01:26:27,950 --> 01:26:30,700
(dramatic music)

1423
01:26:34,040 --> 01:26:35,200
Mother fucker.

1424
01:26:39,740 --> 01:26:42,570
(Billy screaming)

1425
01:26:44,010 --> 01:26:46,680
(alarm ringing)

1426
01:26:48,350 --> 01:26:51,479
- It's time for me to replace Linda.

1427
01:26:51,480 --> 01:26:52,340
- Okay, babe.

1428
01:26:52,341 --> 01:26:54,370
I'll go with you, I don't
want you to be alone.

1429
01:26:55,520 --> 01:26:56,869
- Are you sure?

1430
01:26:56,870 --> 01:26:58,359
- Yeah.

1431
01:26:58,360 --> 01:27:01,690
I don't want to have you alone in there.

1432
01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:10,320
(zombies growling)

1433
01:27:17,460 --> 01:27:18,460
Holy shit!

1434
01:27:20,640 --> 01:27:22,039
(zombies growling)

1435
01:27:22,040 --> 01:27:25,329
(zombies growling)
(Liza screaming)

1436
01:27:25,330 --> 01:27:30,330
(head whacking)
(liza screaming)

1437
01:27:39,040 --> 01:27:39,830
What is that?

1438
01:27:39,880 --> 01:27:40,710
Oh my God!

1439
01:27:40,711 --> 01:27:43,349
- Oh my God!

1440
01:27:43,350 --> 01:27:45,399
(baby splats)

1441
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:46,569
(liza chomps)

1442
01:27:46,570 --> 01:27:48,529
(dramatic music)

1443
01:27:48,530 --> 01:27:51,780
I'll take the bitch, you take the baby.

1444
01:27:54,640 --> 01:27:55,490
- What should I do with it?

1445
01:27:55,540 --> 01:27:56,370
- I don't know!

1446
01:27:56,371 --> 01:27:59,460
Throw it out the window or something.

1447
01:28:01,990 --> 01:28:04,820
(bottle shatters)

1448
01:28:08,640 --> 01:28:10,390
Die, die, die, bitch!

1449
01:28:16,380 --> 01:28:19,050
(Patsy snoring)

1450
01:28:23,410 --> 01:28:26,629
- Damn it Patsy, I'm at my wit's end.

1451
01:28:26,630 --> 01:28:27,649
I've been up all night

1452
01:28:27,650 --> 01:28:30,239
trying to create this blessed antidote.

1453
01:28:30,240 --> 01:28:31,329
I just don't understand

1454
01:28:31,330 --> 01:28:33,599
what it is I could have
possibly done wrong.

1455
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:36,620
- Oh, Doctor, that's terrible.

1456
01:28:38,650 --> 01:28:39,950
I'm so sorry.

1457
01:28:41,020 --> 01:28:44,009
Come put your head on Patsy's shoulder.

1458
01:28:44,010 --> 01:28:45,849
- Oh, Patsy.

1459
01:28:45,850 --> 01:28:48,350
You've always been there
for me when I needed you.

1460
01:28:49,590 --> 01:28:51,960
Patsy, I've treated you terrible.

1461
01:28:53,280 --> 01:28:54,860
I've taken advantage of you.

1462
01:28:56,210 --> 01:28:57,210
You're so special.

1463
01:29:01,070 --> 01:29:03,619
- No, Doctor, no you haven't.

1464
01:29:03,620 --> 01:29:05,639
- Oh, but I have.

1465
01:29:05,640 --> 01:29:09,780
What's more, Patsy, I love you.

1466
01:29:11,670 --> 01:29:13,939
I've been looking for love in all

1467
01:29:13,940 --> 01:29:17,569
these tight-pantsed
indie rock hipster boys,

1468
01:29:17,570 --> 01:29:18,759
and I never stopped to see

1469
01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:20,720
what was right in front of my own face.

1470
01:29:21,820 --> 01:29:23,859
Now I've created a mess that even

1471
01:29:23,860 --> 01:29:26,850
my genius mind can't figure a way out of.

1472
01:29:27,740 --> 01:29:28,740
- Oh Doctor.

1473
01:29:30,030 --> 01:29:30,910
Oh Doctor.

1474
01:29:30,911 --> 01:29:33,189
- Patsy, there's no need to speak.

1475
01:29:33,190 --> 01:29:34,659
I can tell by the look in your eyes

1476
01:29:34,660 --> 01:29:36,010
that you feel the same way.

1477
01:29:37,410 --> 01:29:39,280
Even though your asshole is small,

1478
01:29:40,160 --> 01:29:43,370
your heart is as big
as the oceans combined.

1479
01:29:46,090 --> 01:29:47,090
I'll pack our bags.

1480
01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:49,819
You go tell Cassandra that we're leaving.

1481
01:29:49,820 --> 01:29:51,670
Leaving, and we're never coming back.

1482
01:29:52,630 --> 01:29:55,930
I have a boat, and I know of
an island we can escape to.

1483
01:29:57,760 --> 01:29:59,900
- Okay Doctor, but also.

1484
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:03,939
- Patsy, whatever it is, Patsy,
it's going to have to wait.

1485
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:05,669
Those boards and nails,

1486
01:30:05,670 --> 01:30:08,479
they're not going to hold the
zombies out for much longer.

1487
01:30:08,480 --> 01:30:10,720
- Okay Doctor, right away.

1488
01:30:14,740 --> 01:30:15,740
- Mr. Puggles?

1489
01:30:16,450 --> 01:30:18,179
- [Patsy] Yes?

1490
01:30:18,180 --> 01:30:19,180
- I love you.

1491
01:30:24,300 --> 01:30:25,300
- Why God?

1492
01:30:26,320 --> 01:30:28,670
Why?

1493
01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:30,640
Why?

1494
01:30:31,700 --> 01:30:34,370
(thunder rolls)

1495
01:30:35,350 --> 01:30:38,100
(dramatic music)

1496
01:30:40,380 --> 01:30:44,270
You will all respect the
bringer of the truth.

1497
01:30:45,110 --> 01:30:47,849
The lover of light and life.

1498
01:30:47,850 --> 01:30:50,180
The true hipster apocalypse.

1499
01:30:53,280 --> 01:30:56,459
The world no longer welcomes boys

1500
01:30:56,460 --> 01:31:00,439
with tight pants and trust funds.

1501
01:31:00,440 --> 01:31:04,190
You will all suffer the wrath of Patsy.

1502
01:31:07,100 --> 01:31:10,589
(dramatic music)

1503
01:31:10,590 --> 01:31:13,199
(vial clatters)

1504
01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:15,950
(dramatic music)

1505
01:31:19,130 --> 01:31:22,199
(gentle chords)

1506
01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:24,870
(thunder rolls)

1507
01:31:30,100 --> 01:31:31,050
- Zombies are getting in.

1508
01:31:31,051 --> 01:31:32,349
We've got to get out of here.

1509
01:31:32,350 --> 01:31:33,180
- Okay, babe.

1510
01:31:33,181 --> 01:31:35,600
- Let's see where this leads.

1511
01:31:43,360 --> 01:31:45,690
- Look, they're in here too.

1512
01:31:46,880 --> 01:31:47,959
- It's all right.

1513
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,540
They're chained up.

1514
01:31:52,060 --> 01:31:53,489
Is he keeping them as pets?

1515
01:31:53,490 --> 01:31:54,709
- Maybe he caught some of these things

1516
01:31:54,710 --> 01:31:57,349
and he's using them to
work on the antidote.

1517
01:31:57,350 --> 01:32:00,520
- That doesn't explain their wardrobe.

1518
01:32:06,620 --> 01:32:10,870
- I think this is Dr. Claw's
top secret laboratory.

1519
01:32:13,620 --> 01:32:14,450
- You're going to have to

1520
01:32:14,451 --> 01:32:16,789
come over here and take a look at this.

1521
01:32:16,790 --> 01:32:17,870
- What is it?

1522
01:32:19,580 --> 01:32:20,580
- Hey.

1523
01:32:21,340 --> 01:32:23,079
I know that guy.

1524
01:32:23,080 --> 01:32:26,459
He's in that all naked
cover band, Nudist Priest.

1525
01:32:26,460 --> 01:32:28,459
And that's the guy in the lispy Black Flag

1526
01:32:28,460 --> 01:32:31,409
cover band, Black Fag.

1527
01:32:31,410 --> 01:32:33,229
That's Johnny Severed Goat's Head.

1528
01:32:33,230 --> 01:32:34,960
And that's Chainsaw Mike.

1529
01:32:36,310 --> 01:32:37,150
But that means.

1530
01:32:37,151 --> 01:32:38,549
- Oh my God.

1531
01:32:38,550 --> 01:32:39,440
Mickey.

1532
01:32:39,441 --> 01:32:41,499
I will hold to the highest ethics

1533
01:32:41,500 --> 01:32:43,679
no matter what the situation.

1534
01:32:43,680 --> 01:32:47,539
I will never eat the merchandise
under any circumstances.

1535
01:32:47,540 --> 01:32:48,540
Bullshit!

1536
01:32:49,270 --> 01:32:52,039
That means Bush had us selling Tagadongs

1537
01:32:52,040 --> 01:32:54,659
and Thin Clits that turned
people into zombies.

1538
01:32:54,660 --> 01:32:55,709
- Why would she do that?

1539
01:32:55,710 --> 01:32:57,549
Did she have some kind of death wish?

1540
01:32:57,550 --> 01:32:59,879
- It must have been the doctor.

1541
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:00,710
He's responsible.

1542
01:33:00,711 --> 01:33:02,959
Look, it's all here in black and white.

1543
01:33:02,960 --> 01:33:04,819
It makes perfect sense.

1544
01:33:04,820 --> 01:33:07,779
You and Bill didn't
eat any of the cookies.

1545
01:33:07,780 --> 01:33:09,810
- Then my dairy allergy saved my life.

1546
01:33:10,740 --> 01:33:12,809
But Johnny Severed Goat's
Head and Chainsaw Mike

1547
01:33:12,810 --> 01:33:15,519
were my best friends, and it's
this guy who's responsible.

1548
01:33:15,520 --> 01:33:16,350
- Right.

1549
01:33:16,351 --> 01:33:17,459
This doctor is pure evil,

1550
01:33:17,460 --> 01:33:19,550
and I sensed it the moment I saw him.

1551
01:33:20,740 --> 01:33:22,329
- I'm not pure evil.

1552
01:33:22,330 --> 01:33:26,009
I'm just a sad little man who likes boys

1553
01:33:26,010 --> 01:33:29,579
in tight jeans and ironic band t-shirts.

1554
01:33:29,580 --> 01:33:31,499
I never wanted any of this.

1555
01:33:31,500 --> 01:33:33,279
I just wanted some beautiful boys

1556
01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:37,169
for my legitimate adult
entertainment business.

1557
01:33:37,170 --> 01:33:39,919
- You killed Johnny Severed Goat's Head.

1558
01:33:39,920 --> 01:33:41,749
And you killed Chainsaw Mike.

1559
01:33:41,750 --> 01:33:44,609
And you turned my best
friend Bill Firewire

1560
01:33:44,610 --> 01:33:47,289
into a half-eaten zombie torso.

1561
01:33:47,290 --> 01:33:50,739
You're a pathetic, sick
little worm of a man, Doctor.

1562
01:33:50,740 --> 01:33:54,440
And you deserve nothing less than to be.

1563
01:33:55,370 --> 01:33:59,639
- Bill Firewire's severed
torso is not my doing.

1564
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:00,839
Don't you understand?

1565
01:34:00,840 --> 01:34:05,589
I wanted these boys sucking
cock, not eating flesh.

1566
01:34:05,590 --> 01:34:09,149
Besides, I'm the only one who
can come up with the antidote.

1567
01:34:09,150 --> 01:34:10,110
- He might be right, Mickey.

1568
01:34:10,111 --> 01:34:11,139
Hold on.

1569
01:34:11,140 --> 01:34:12,269
- I'm going to cut this worm

1570
01:34:12,270 --> 01:34:15,040
in two like we cut his bitch sister.

1571
01:34:15,880 --> 01:34:18,429
I'm going to decapitate
him so you won't come back.

1572
01:34:18,430 --> 01:34:19,880
- You killed Cassandra?

1573
01:34:20,850 --> 01:34:23,169
Stop.

1574
01:34:23,170 --> 01:34:24,260
- You like these hipsters?

1575
01:34:27,240 --> 01:34:29,619
They look like they want
to fuck you, all right.

1576
01:34:29,620 --> 01:34:32,739
Turn around and fuck these hipsters

1577
01:34:32,740 --> 01:34:35,039
before I fucking cut you in two.

1578
01:34:35,040 --> 01:34:36,479
- Mickey!

1579
01:34:36,480 --> 01:34:37,829
- You're going to push me into these.

1580
01:34:37,830 --> 01:34:39,589
- - Fuck these hipsters before

1581
01:34:39,590 --> 01:34:41,760
I fucking slit your throat.

1582
01:34:43,390 --> 01:34:48,390
(Claw screaming)
(heart beating)

1583
01:34:58,390 --> 01:35:01,269
When there's no more room on earth,

1584
01:35:01,270 --> 01:35:05,430
the evil doctors will join
their dead sisters in hell.

1585
01:35:09,390 --> 01:35:12,140
(dramatic music)

1586
01:35:31,090 --> 01:35:33,299
- What do you think he meant by that?

1587
01:35:33,300 --> 01:35:34,879
Maybe we shouldn't have let him die.

1588
01:35:34,880 --> 01:35:36,669
He was working on an antidote.

1589
01:35:36,670 --> 01:35:39,719
- After he was done with this?

1590
01:35:39,720 --> 01:35:42,739
He was a sick worm and a pervert,

1591
01:35:42,740 --> 01:35:45,399
and this world is better off without him.

1592
01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:47,949
- I'm scared when you're angry.

1593
01:35:47,950 --> 01:35:49,269
It's actually really sexy.

1594
01:35:49,270 --> 01:35:51,320
I've never seen that side of you.

1595
01:35:55,300 --> 01:35:57,489
These keys must belong to something.

1596
01:35:57,490 --> 01:35:59,429
We can look for the car
and go to the marina.

1597
01:35:59,430 --> 01:36:00,919
I know how to hot-wire boats.

1598
01:36:00,920 --> 01:36:01,920
- Great idea, babe.

1599
01:36:07,340 --> 01:36:08,779
- Patsy, we're getting the hell

1600
01:36:08,780 --> 01:36:10,380
out of here if you want to come.

1601
01:36:11,770 --> 01:36:12,770
- Where's Doctor?

1602
01:36:13,760 --> 01:36:15,329
- Oh, about the doctor.

1603
01:36:15,330 --> 01:36:17,129
- We tried to save him,
but it was too late.

1604
01:36:17,130 --> 01:36:18,720
The zombies downstairs got him.

1605
01:36:20,950 --> 01:36:24,220
- No, no, Doctor!

1606
01:36:27,340 --> 01:36:28,719
- Hurry up and get your stuff,

1607
01:36:28,720 --> 01:36:31,459
we're running out of here quick.

1608
01:36:31,460 --> 01:36:32,570
I'm really sorry.

1609
01:36:33,980 --> 01:36:35,529
- Why did you invite him?

1610
01:36:35,530 --> 01:36:37,269
That's that worm's sidekick.

1611
01:36:37,270 --> 01:36:40,119
- Mickey, that man or whatever he is,

1612
01:36:40,120 --> 01:36:41,509
he didn't know what he was doing.

1613
01:36:41,510 --> 01:36:43,009
He was a victim just as much as us.

1614
01:36:43,010 --> 01:36:44,809
Can't you see that?

1615
01:36:44,810 --> 01:36:48,479
He was just a small pawn
in Dr. Claw's evil game.

1616
01:36:48,480 --> 01:36:49,809
If we don't take him with us,

1617
01:36:49,810 --> 01:36:52,959
it's like leaving a
helpless dog here to die.

1618
01:36:52,960 --> 01:36:54,169
- I don't know, Liza.

1619
01:36:54,170 --> 01:36:55,559
- Trust me.

1620
01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:57,110
Have I ever led you astray?

1621
01:36:58,370 --> 01:36:59,150
- No, babe.

1622
01:36:59,200 --> 01:36:59,980
- Come on.

1623
01:37:00,030 --> 01:37:01,030
Let's go.

1624
01:37:05,490 --> 01:37:08,240
(dramatic music)

1625
01:37:12,610 --> 01:37:14,069
- They're no good?

1626
01:37:14,070 --> 01:37:15,030
- Maybe the van.

1627
01:37:15,031 --> 01:37:16,129
- Yes good idea.

1628
01:37:16,130 --> 01:37:18,880
(dramatic music)

1629
01:37:25,950 --> 01:37:29,119
That worm's retarded henchman,
we should just leave him.

1630
01:37:29,120 --> 01:37:30,959
He's probably gotten himself dead by now.

1631
01:37:30,960 --> 01:37:32,719
Why should we risk our lives?

1632
01:37:32,720 --> 01:37:33,789
- Trust me, baby.

1633
01:37:33,790 --> 01:37:35,870
We give him five minutes.

1634
01:37:37,600 --> 01:37:38,520
- Dr. Claw!

1635
01:37:38,521 --> 01:37:41,270
(dramatic music)

1636
01:37:45,520 --> 01:37:46,520
My love.

1637
01:37:52,520 --> 01:37:53,770
No, Doctor, no!

1638
01:38:03,840 --> 01:38:06,920
I didn't mean for it to be like this.

1639
01:38:11,470 --> 01:38:14,470
We're supposed to run away together.

1640
01:38:25,870 --> 01:38:27,210
Doctor, my love.

1641
01:38:29,400 --> 01:38:30,900
No, it's not fair!

1642
01:38:46,830 --> 01:38:49,580
(dramatic chord)

1643
01:38:58,970 --> 01:38:59,970
Foul play!

1644
01:39:01,560 --> 01:39:04,810
That dirty twink and his tranny friend.

1645
01:39:09,080 --> 01:39:12,880
Doctor, I will avenge your death, I will!

1646
01:39:20,600 --> 01:39:22,100
Where's the serum?

1647
01:39:23,410 --> 01:39:24,830
You have my word.

1648
01:39:36,650 --> 01:39:39,570
(zombies growling)

1649
01:39:54,160 --> 01:39:55,830
- Patsy, be careful!

1650
01:40:08,010 --> 01:40:09,879
- They didn't bite you, did they?

1651
01:40:09,880 --> 01:40:11,540
- No, master Mickey.

1652
01:40:12,490 --> 01:40:14,469
- Patsy, we aren't your masters.

1653
01:40:14,470 --> 01:40:15,910
We're your friends.

1654
01:40:18,290 --> 01:40:20,830
- Yes, Miss Liza, friends.

1655
01:40:33,690 --> 01:40:36,440
(dramatic music)

1656
01:40:40,300 --> 01:40:41,779
- [Mickey] Liza, darling.

1657
01:40:41,780 --> 01:40:44,619
I was thinking about
getting in a late tea time.

1658
01:40:44,620 --> 01:40:46,559
Do you want to grab
some oysters afterward?

1659
01:40:46,560 --> 01:40:49,509
- Sweety, Patsy's making dinner tonight.

1660
01:40:49,510 --> 01:40:51,079
He's been talking about it all week.

1661
01:40:51,080 --> 01:40:52,170
How could you forget?

1662
01:40:53,240 --> 01:40:55,269
- Do you really think he can cook?

1663
01:40:55,270 --> 01:40:57,069
- Apparently when he was in that cage,

1664
01:40:57,070 --> 01:41:00,189
he watched nothing but
Emeril and Rachael Ray.

1665
01:41:00,190 --> 01:41:00,970
- Great.

1666
01:41:01,020 --> 01:41:02,020
Let's check it out.

1667
01:41:02,960 --> 01:41:05,549
- [Radio] It's been exactly
a year since the Wormwood,

1668
01:41:05,550 --> 01:41:08,459
New Jersey outbreak of the living dead.

1669
01:41:08,460 --> 01:41:10,849
Experts are still befuddled as to

1670
01:41:10,850 --> 01:41:13,059
the cause of this great disaster

1671
01:41:13,060 --> 01:41:14,929
which had spread as far as Brooklyn,

1672
01:41:14,930 --> 01:41:16,880
- [Patsy] Master is very nice to Patsy.

1673
01:41:19,440 --> 01:41:21,769
- [Radio] Residents banding together.

1674
01:41:21,770 --> 01:41:25,009
Here we have Grover
Oregon, one of the heroes

1675
01:41:25,010 --> 01:41:28,229
of the massacre of the Bushlick Food Coop.

1676
01:41:28,230 --> 01:41:31,859
- [Man] You know, it was
really easy to get support.

1677
01:41:31,860 --> 01:41:34,909
My cousin Victor, who put
down twelve of those (beeps)

1678
01:41:34,910 --> 01:41:37,660
in the produce aisle, still calls

1679
01:41:38,720 --> 01:41:39,620
it the happiest day of his life.

1680
01:41:39,621 --> 01:41:43,040
- Master's are taking good care of Patsy.

1681
01:41:47,590 --> 01:41:49,909
- [Liza] Thank you.

1682
01:41:49,910 --> 01:41:51,160
- [Patsy] Okay.

1683
01:41:52,430 --> 01:41:53,290
Food for you, Master.

1684
01:41:53,340 --> 01:41:54,130
- Patsy.

1685
01:41:54,180 --> 01:41:55,010
- Thank you.

1686
01:41:55,011 --> 01:41:56,569
- I had no idea.

1687
01:41:56,570 --> 01:41:57,410
- [Patsy] Enjoy.

1688
01:41:57,411 --> 01:41:58,669
- I just don't know where to start.

1689
01:41:58,670 --> 01:41:59,840
Thanks, Patsy.

1690
01:42:04,110 --> 01:42:05,110
- My God.

1691
01:42:11,650 --> 01:42:14,320
(glasses clink)

1692
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:19,750
(food crunching)

1693
01:42:21,230 --> 01:42:24,060
- This is for your memory, Doctor!

1694
01:42:27,150 --> 01:42:29,820
(opera singing)

1695
01:42:44,200 --> 01:42:46,059
- That was the greatest meal of my life.

1696
01:42:46,060 --> 01:42:47,310
- I can't wait.

1697
01:42:49,680 --> 01:42:53,939
- Master, you haven't
even had your dessert.

1698
01:42:53,940 --> 01:42:55,560
- Oh, I wish I could.

1699
01:42:56,500 --> 01:42:59,210
- Don't worry, it's dairy free.

1700
01:43:01,670 --> 01:43:05,380
- In that case, how could I resist?

1701
01:43:07,590 --> 01:43:08,959
Oh my God.

1702
01:43:08,960 --> 01:43:09,960
Oh my God, it's so good.

1703
01:43:10,950 --> 01:43:12,369
Bravo, Patsy.

1704
01:43:12,370 --> 01:43:13,370
Bravo.

1705
01:43:15,360 --> 01:43:17,990
- Patsy, what's that interesting flavor?

1706
01:43:19,040 --> 01:43:21,429
- It's just ease time, it's just got

1707
01:43:21,430 --> 01:43:23,979
that strange aftertaste,
but you'll get used to it.

1708
01:43:23,980 --> 01:43:26,650
(opera singing)

1709
01:43:31,980 --> 01:43:33,999
(plates shatter)

1710
01:43:34,000 --> 01:43:36,670
(opera singing)

1711
01:43:46,760 --> 01:43:49,600
(engine rumbling)

1712
01:43:54,050 --> 01:43:55,249
- Yeah, oh yeah.

1713
01:43:55,250 --> 01:43:57,489
- Mommy, do you want some soup?

1714
01:43:57,490 --> 01:43:58,579
Salt or pepper?

1715
01:43:58,580 --> 01:43:59,410
Salt?

1716
01:43:59,411 --> 01:44:02,379
- Okay, salt, salt, sweetie.

1717
01:44:02,380 --> 01:44:05,130
(dramatic music)

1718
01:44:08,610 --> 01:44:10,299
Mommy, mommy look!

1719
01:44:10,300 --> 01:44:11,080
Momma!

1720
01:44:11,130 --> 01:44:12,000
Momma, look!

1721
01:44:12,001 --> 01:44:13,199
Mommy!

1722
01:44:13,200 --> 01:44:15,099
(woman screams)

1723
01:44:15,100 --> 01:44:20,100
(dramatic music)
(zombies growling)

1724
01:45:20,340 --> 01:45:23,090
(dramatic music)

1725
01:45:30,370 --> 01:45:35,370
♪ Gonna tell you women,
bout a suave monsier ♪

1726
01:45:35,380 --> 01:45:40,380
♪ He's a mean operator,
comes from gay Paree ♪

1727
01:45:41,020 --> 01:45:43,379
♪ Trés debonair with a bad-ass style ♪

1728
01:45:43,380 --> 01:45:45,779
♪ Oh don't you know he drives
the mademoiselles wild ♪

1729
01:45:45,780 --> 01:45:50,200
♪ Sexy sexy french motherfucker yeah ♪

1730
01:46:00,200 --> 01:46:04,989
♪ Got his pick of women,
never mind the beaux ♪

1731
01:46:04,990 --> 01:46:09,990
♪ Gotta a way of winning,
lotta losers know ♪

1732
01:46:10,740 --> 01:46:12,949
♪ Trés debonair with a bad-ass style ♪

1733
01:46:12,950 --> 01:46:15,459
♪ Oh don't you know he drives
the mademoiselles wild ♪

1734
01:46:15,460 --> 01:46:20,309
♪ Sexy sexy french motherfucker yeah ♪

1735
01:46:20,310 --> 01:46:22,649
♪ Ooh la la, mon cheri ♪

1736
01:46:22,650 --> 01:46:25,119
♪ Sexy French fucker's
got something on me ♪

1737
01:46:25,120 --> 01:46:27,459
♪ Looking á gauche, looking á droite, ♪

1738
01:46:27,460 --> 01:46:32,460
♪ Looking so bad he's got
a rendezvous tonight ♪

1739
01:46:51,950 --> 01:46:53,979
♪ Ooh la la, mon cheri ♪

1740
01:46:53,980 --> 01:46:56,369
♪ Sexy French fucker's
got something on me ♪

1741
01:46:56,370 --> 01:46:58,689
♪ Looking á gauche, looking á droite ♪

1742
01:46:58,690 --> 01:47:03,690
♪ Looking so bad he's got
a rendezvous tonight ♪

1743
01:47:10,500 --> 01:47:15,249
♪ Gotta an eye on Marie,
gotta an eye on Claire ♪

1744
01:47:15,250 --> 01:47:20,250
♪ Gotta a bad reputation,
so you'd best beware ♪

1745
01:47:20,860 --> 01:47:23,229
♪ Trés debonair with a bad-ass style ♪

1746
01:47:23,230 --> 01:47:25,679
♪ Oh don't you know he drives
the mademoiselles wild ♪

1747
01:47:25,680 --> 01:47:30,679
♪ Sexy sexy french motherfucker yeah ♪

1748
01:47:30,680 --> 01:47:32,979
♪ Trés debonair with a bad-ass style ♪

1749
01:47:32,980 --> 01:47:35,409
♪ Oh don't you know he drives
the mademoiselles wild ♪

1750
01:47:35,410 --> 01:47:36,779
♪ Sexy sexy french motherfucker yeah ♪

1751
01:47:36,780 --> 01:47:37,610
- [Crew] And mark it.

1752
01:47:37,611 --> 01:47:38,839
- [Crew] Okay.

1753
01:47:38,840 --> 01:47:40,510
- [Crew] And action.

1754
01:47:43,520 --> 01:47:45,549
- Oh my God, Sister.

1755
01:47:45,550 --> 01:47:46,679
You look worse than that third time

1756
01:47:46,680 --> 01:47:49,000
you lost the all ages bukkake competition.

1757
01:47:52,920 --> 01:47:55,169
Oh my God, Sister, you look awful.

1758
01:47:55,170 --> 01:47:59,209
Have you gone on another
meth-fueled anal to mouth binge?

1759
01:47:59,210 --> 01:48:00,879
Oh my God, Sister, you look worse

1760
01:48:00,880 --> 01:48:02,409
than the time you got toxic shock

1761
01:48:02,410 --> 01:48:04,989
from that whiskey and Xanax enema.

1762
01:48:04,990 --> 01:48:07,159
Oh my God, Sister, you look worse

1763
01:48:07,160 --> 01:48:08,539
than the time you got finger banged

1764
01:48:08,540 --> 01:48:11,469
by those homeless mole people
underneath the A train.

1765
01:48:11,470 --> 01:48:13,969
Oh my God, Sister, you look worse

1766
01:48:13,970 --> 01:48:15,259
than that time we ran out of cups

1767
01:48:15,260 --> 01:48:18,189
and you used your vagina
to play beer pong.

1768
01:48:18,190 --> 01:48:20,479
Oh my God, Sister, you look worse

1769
01:48:20,480 --> 01:48:21,569
than the time you were the bottom

1770
01:48:21,570 --> 01:48:24,209
at that Wiccan raccoon
menstruation ritual.

1771
01:48:24,210 --> 01:48:25,519
Of course, please.

1772
01:48:25,520 --> 01:48:26,350
Come in.

1773
01:48:26,351 --> 01:48:27,520
Come right in.

1774
01:48:35,120 --> 01:48:36,519
- [Crew] Cut.

1775
01:48:36,520 --> 01:48:38,940
(punk music)

1776
01:48:45,610 --> 01:48:48,770
(punk French singing)