1 00:00:08,650 --> 00:00:10,782 [ Ulysses Voiceover ] I've always had a simultaneous fear of, 2 00:00:10,913 --> 00:00:13,089 and attraction toward, the unknown. 3 00:00:14,917 --> 00:00:17,398 And in these fucking dark and scary times, 4 00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:21,619 it's easy to adopt a "What difference does it make?" attitude. 5 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:24,709 So I often find myself in these situations 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,714 where my heart's pounding so fast I can barely breathe. 7 00:00:29,845 --> 00:00:31,673 And I can't tell if it's excitement or terror or both. 8 00:00:31,803 --> 00:00:33,675 [ man groans ] 9 00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:35,633 -No! -It's not like I'm brave 10 00:00:35,764 --> 00:00:40,464 or anything, it's more reckless stupidity, 11 00:00:41,987 --> 00:00:44,425 an adrenaline fix, 12 00:00:44,555 --> 00:00:47,906 throwing myself into the void to see what happens. 13 00:00:54,348 --> 00:00:56,785 No! 14 00:00:56,915 --> 00:00:57,960 Help me! 15 00:00:59,135 --> 00:01:01,224 [ man groans ] 16 00:01:02,617 --> 00:01:05,228 [ screams ] 17 00:01:05,359 --> 00:01:06,403 [ Ulysses grunting ] 18 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:09,450 Harder! Harder! 19 00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:10,407 -[ door thuds ] -Dave? 20 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,539 Oh, shit! 21 00:01:11,669 --> 00:01:12,496 My husband's home! 22 00:01:12,627 --> 00:01:14,716 Oh, shit. 23 00:01:14,846 --> 00:01:16,239 [ stammers ] What should I do? 24 00:01:18,807 --> 00:01:20,243 DAVE'S HUSBAND: Dave, where are you?! 25 00:01:20,374 --> 00:01:23,246 DAVE: In here, babe. 26 00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:24,769 -[ Ulysses yelps ] -[ loud thud ] 27 00:01:36,825 --> 00:01:38,479 [ Ulysses Voiceover ] So yeah, I realized that one day 28 00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,481 these crazy adventures will probably get me 29 00:01:40,611 --> 00:01:42,961 into some gigantic trouble I can't get out of. 30 00:01:45,747 --> 00:01:47,836 But it's almost like I can't help myself. 31 00:01:47,966 --> 00:01:50,012 [ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ] 32 00:01:52,232 --> 00:01:55,235 I do shit sometimes and I really don't know why. 33 00:01:58,194 --> 00:01:59,674 To avoid boredom, I guess. 34 00:02:01,545 --> 00:02:02,503 To feel alive. 35 00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,811 Just for the fucking fuck of it. 36 00:02:21,478 --> 00:02:25,700 ♪ Give it away now, girl 37 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:30,487 ♪ Can't hold down tonight 38 00:02:47,591 --> 00:02:50,333 [ panting ] 39 00:02:50,464 --> 00:02:51,421 Ah. 40 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,382 Sorry, dude. 41 00:02:56,513 --> 00:02:57,645 Whatever. 42 00:02:58,733 --> 00:03:01,344 Hey, Severine. 43 00:03:01,475 --> 00:03:03,607 I thought you were sleeping out tonight. 44 00:03:03,738 --> 00:03:05,305 Yeah, uh, I'm not. 45 00:03:08,395 --> 00:03:11,049 Anyhoo, please, continue. 46 00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:13,530 Goodnight, Ulysses. 47 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,315 Goodnight. 48 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,448 Night, dude. 49 00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:22,235 ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have a sort of strange relationship. 50 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:26,239 We've been roommates since college 51 00:03:26,369 --> 00:03:29,372 and we kind of drunk messed around once freshman year. 52 00:03:29,503 --> 00:03:32,114 I love him unconditionally 53 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:35,813 and if he had even one sexually ambiguous molecule 54 00:03:35,944 --> 00:03:37,554 in his body, we'd probably be married, 55 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:41,602 but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero 56 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:44,474 in contrast to my ever oscillating four, 57 00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:46,694 which means I'm not so totally queer 58 00:03:46,824 --> 00:03:50,393 that I haven't rubbed out a few fantasizing about Severine. 59 00:03:50,524 --> 00:03:53,657 Everything in my life right now is a question mark, 60 00:03:53,788 --> 00:03:57,008 which pretty much explains what this thing is about. 61 00:03:57,139 --> 00:03:59,054 It's definitely not a vlog. 62 00:03:59,184 --> 00:04:02,492 It's more of a place to download the random shit 63 00:04:02,623 --> 00:04:05,887 that's in my head to keep it from like [ lips pop ] exploding. 64 00:04:06,017 --> 00:04:10,152 Back in school, I thought I wanted to be an actor, 65 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,894 but once I got to LA, I quickly discovered 66 00:04:13,024 --> 00:04:15,244 that's probably the lamest, most soul-crushing thing 67 00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:17,028 I could do with my life. 68 00:04:17,159 --> 00:04:19,248 And Ford is that sad LA cliché, 69 00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,555 an aspiring screenwriter. 70 00:04:21,685 --> 00:04:24,558 But movies are even more irrelevant now than books. 71 00:04:24,688 --> 00:04:28,518 It's all stupid superheroes and YA bullshit. 72 00:04:28,649 --> 00:04:30,868 And thanks to Instagram, art and photography, 73 00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:32,957 all of that's pretty much obsolete now too, 74 00:04:33,088 --> 00:04:34,785 so lacking a better outlet, 75 00:04:34,916 --> 00:04:39,529 here I am talking to myself in the dark. 76 00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:52,150 But also, there's something weird going on 77 00:04:52,281 --> 00:04:56,329 that I feel I need to document. 78 00:05:00,245 --> 00:05:01,856 I've been having this nightmare, 79 00:05:01,986 --> 00:05:04,119 the same one over and over, 80 00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:06,077 two or three times a week for the past month. 81 00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,862 MAN: No! 82 00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:09,342 [ Ulysses Voiceover ] And it's so vivid and freakishly real 83 00:05:09,472 --> 00:05:13,215 that when I wake up, it's still there hovering over me like 84 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,173 it's not just a dream, 85 00:05:15,304 --> 00:05:18,394 like it's trying to tell me something. 86 00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:21,397 Maybe smoke a smidge less pot before bedtime? 87 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:23,356 Carly, I'm being serious. 88 00:05:23,486 --> 00:05:25,575 Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions? 89 00:05:25,706 --> 00:05:29,405 -No. -Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio. 90 00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,494 It's the most psychic of all the signs. 91 00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:34,541 And I've had premonitions before, but this is different. 92 00:05:34,671 --> 00:05:37,718 It's like we're teetering on the brink of total annihilation. 93 00:05:37,848 --> 00:05:40,982 CARLY: Okay, well, that's every fucking day now 94 00:05:41,112 --> 00:05:43,680 in this tragic shit show era we're living in. 95 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,596 But anyway, are you still cyber-stalking that guy? 96 00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:49,382 -Gabriel. -Mm. 97 00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,688 Yeah. We were supposed to hang out last night, but-- 98 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:56,171 Oh, let me guess, he flaked. 99 00:05:56,301 --> 00:06:00,523 Hey, look, this guy's a gnarly 300-pound catfish. 100 00:06:00,654 --> 00:06:02,960 That's why I've been pushing to meet in real life. 101 00:06:03,091 --> 00:06:04,571 Look, check it out. 102 00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:07,443 -Oh. He is pretty. -Right? 103 00:06:07,574 --> 00:06:10,185 I know it sounds hokey, but I just get this vibe that we're destined to be. 104 00:06:10,315 --> 00:06:12,361 Okay, double Scorpio. 105 00:06:12,492 --> 00:06:15,625 Honestly, just looking at him makes me dizzy and hard. 106 00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:17,322 You know, when I first met Jethro, 107 00:06:17,453 --> 00:06:19,890 seeing him sneeze would make me cum, 108 00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:22,763 but now, like uh, last night, in the middle of fucking, 109 00:06:22,893 --> 00:06:27,463 Jethro leans in and for some ungodly reason, whispers-- 110 00:06:28,551 --> 00:06:30,771 Mm, teach me, baby, teach me. 111 00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:31,728 -What? -[ Jethro moans ] 112 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:32,990 Teach me! 113 00:06:33,121 --> 00:06:35,123 Is that something you got from a bad porno? 114 00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:36,472 Oh, come on, baby! 115 00:06:36,603 --> 00:06:38,256 Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild! 116 00:06:38,387 --> 00:06:39,867 Yes, baby! 117 00:06:39,997 --> 00:06:41,216 Make me a student! 118 00:06:41,346 --> 00:06:43,218 I'm a vessel for your pleasure! 119 00:06:43,348 --> 00:06:44,306 -[ groans ] -Yeah! 120 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:46,177 Ah, teach me, baby! 121 00:06:46,308 --> 00:06:47,135 -Come on, yeah! -Can you just slow down 122 00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:48,615 a little bit, please?! 123 00:06:48,745 --> 00:06:50,138 Teach me, baby! Teach me! 124 00:06:50,268 --> 00:06:52,270 -Oh, shit. -And it gets worse. 125 00:06:52,401 --> 00:06:55,491 He wants me to go to his fucking meditation class tonight. 126 00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:57,188 But meditating gives you anxiety. 127 00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:59,364 Yeah, I know. 128 00:06:59,495 --> 00:07:01,454 It's so easy for him. His brain, his natural resting state, 129 00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:04,848 is just a blank void of nothingness. 130 00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:07,198 -[ phone buzzes ] -[ Carly sighs ] 131 00:07:07,329 --> 00:07:08,983 Is it the catfish? 132 00:07:09,113 --> 00:07:10,811 Oh, shit, really? What'd he say? 133 00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:12,682 That he wants to meet tonight. 134 00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:16,294 Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low. 135 00:07:16,425 --> 00:07:18,775 Very low. 136 00:07:21,212 --> 00:07:25,303 ♪ Sanctify the love that you crave, crave ♪ 137 00:07:25,434 --> 00:07:30,221 ♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't, and I won't be ashamed ♪ 138 00:07:30,352 --> 00:07:32,920 ♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪ 139 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,576 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 140 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:41,232 -♪ When I pray -♪ Oh, oh, oh 141 00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:44,584 ♪ You'll find redemption 142 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,715 Hey. 143 00:07:47,195 --> 00:07:49,284 How's the script coming? 144 00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:51,112 I've seen you here before. 145 00:07:51,242 --> 00:07:52,156 Oh. 146 00:07:53,331 --> 00:07:54,898 It's going great. 147 00:07:55,029 --> 00:07:56,030 You a writer too? 148 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,248 No. 149 00:07:57,553 --> 00:07:58,989 Actually, I'm a producer. 150 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,515 Oh, no shit. Cool. 151 00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:04,691 You should send me one of your scripts. 152 00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:09,217 -For real? -Yes. 153 00:08:09,347 --> 00:08:12,263 You look like a ambitious, hardworking young man. 154 00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:15,832 Email me. 155 00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:17,617 Oh, wow. 156 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,141 Okay, Mr. Powers. 157 00:08:20,271 --> 00:08:23,144 Please. Barnabas. 158 00:08:26,451 --> 00:08:28,758 Ford. Ford Halstead. 159 00:08:28,889 --> 00:08:31,718 Great to meet you, Ford. 160 00:08:31,848 --> 00:08:34,198 Well, I'll let you get back to work. 161 00:08:34,329 --> 00:08:36,157 Cool! I'll email you. 162 00:08:37,158 --> 00:08:38,638 Looking forward to it. 163 00:08:46,907 --> 00:08:49,387 [ phone chiming ] 164 00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:58,309 MAN: They keep fucking me. 165 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,051 I tell them no, 166 00:09:02,313 --> 00:09:04,141 but they keep fucking me. 167 00:09:04,272 --> 00:09:05,665 They keep fucking me! 168 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,362 Fucking me! 169 00:09:07,492 --> 00:09:09,059 And they won't stop. 170 00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:16,980 Please, make them stop. 171 00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:19,592 Make them stop. 172 00:09:41,309 --> 00:09:43,180 Severine Bordeaux. 173 00:09:43,311 --> 00:09:44,660 [ scanner beeps ] 174 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:06,377 Hello, Severine. 175 00:10:08,031 --> 00:10:09,642 Lars. Klaus. 176 00:10:11,469 --> 00:10:13,341 Looks like I didn't miss anything. 177 00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,822 Yes, the man is running late as usual. 178 00:10:15,952 --> 00:10:19,042 I think they keep us waiting on purpose, to build anticipation. 179 00:10:19,173 --> 00:10:22,132 And to make our work seem even more highly classified than it is. 180 00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:24,352 Actually, I heard this new assignment 181 00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,484 is a genuine priority level one. 182 00:10:27,529 --> 00:10:28,878 Really? 183 00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:30,053 Who told you this? 184 00:10:31,054 --> 00:10:32,099 [ Severine sighs ] 185 00:10:32,229 --> 00:10:34,841 If I revealed my sources, I'd have to kill you. 186 00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:39,019 [ groans ] 187 00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:43,632 I don't know, Uly. 188 00:10:43,763 --> 00:10:46,809 Sometimes a dream is just a dream. 189 00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:51,596 Yeah, but then, but then sometimes, sometimes it's more. 190 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,166 Dude, do you remember that time you were so convinced an earthquake was coming? 191 00:10:56,297 --> 00:10:57,690 You went out, you bought a bunch of soup 192 00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,779 and water and batteries? 193 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,128 [ laughs ] 194 00:11:01,258 --> 00:11:02,303 This is different than that. 195 00:11:03,304 --> 00:11:05,219 Is it? 196 00:11:05,349 --> 00:11:08,048 Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome what happened today? 197 00:11:08,178 --> 00:11:09,353 What? 198 00:11:09,484 --> 00:11:11,225 That producer gave me his business card. 199 00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:13,357 Oh, right. 200 00:11:13,488 --> 00:11:14,924 So is he- is he for real? 201 00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:16,578 What do you mean? 202 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,493 As in does he have credits? 203 00:11:18,623 --> 00:11:19,712 That, that aren't porn. 204 00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:22,366 Yeah. I already checked. 205 00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,978 Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he could be a serial killer or-- 206 00:11:25,108 --> 00:11:26,501 Okay, paranoid. 207 00:11:26,631 --> 00:11:30,635 ♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do 208 00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:34,074 Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be a, a little bit behind 209 00:11:34,204 --> 00:11:35,510 on, on the rent again, this month. 210 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,469 Ah, no big. I got it. 211 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,733 I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab. 212 00:11:40,863 --> 00:11:42,778 Hey, I said don't worry about it. 213 00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:45,041 It was my idea to move to Cali in the first place. 214 00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,304 Plus, I'm the one with the rich parents, so whatevs. 215 00:11:47,435 --> 00:11:49,132 [ Ford chuckles ] 216 00:11:49,263 --> 00:11:51,744 Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad 217 00:11:51,874 --> 00:11:53,441 we're out here together. 218 00:11:53,571 --> 00:11:56,313 You and me, man, living the dream! 219 00:11:58,141 --> 00:11:59,839 [ laughs ] 220 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:00,883 [ sighs ] 221 00:12:02,711 --> 00:12:04,191 You know what I mean? 222 00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,933 [ ethereal music ] 223 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,465 Know what? 224 00:12:17,595 --> 00:12:20,076 Why don't we cut the bullshit 225 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,252 and go over into those bushes over there and fuck? 226 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,169 [ snapping ] 227 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,214 You all right? Yeah. 228 00:12:28,302 --> 00:12:29,477 Yup. 229 00:12:29,607 --> 00:12:30,957 You stoned or something? 230 00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:33,568 [ chuckles ] 231 00:12:33,698 --> 00:12:35,352 -You ready to head back down? -Yeah, yeah. 232 00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,701 -All right. -Mm-hm. 233 00:12:36,832 --> 00:12:37,877 I'll race you to the bottom. 234 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,923 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 235 00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:44,013 [ "Gosh" by Jamie xx ] 236 00:12:48,539 --> 00:12:50,628 You home already? I thought you had a coffee date. 237 00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:53,806 [ Amber sighs ] 238 00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:58,158 I did. I barely sat down and the guy asked me if I would rim him. 239 00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:03,119 -Oh. -Hmm. 240 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,252 What are you doing? 241 00:13:05,382 --> 00:13:09,604 Just memorizing my lines for acting class tomorrow. 242 00:13:09,734 --> 00:13:12,737 I feel like guys on Tinder are so used to getting sex 243 00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:14,696 that they don't even make an effort anymore. 244 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:17,220 Like, this one guy, he sent me the martini emoji, 245 00:13:17,351 --> 00:13:20,528 then the eggplant, then just expected me to fuck him. 246 00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:22,660 Maybe he was foreign? 247 00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:25,925 I've just encountered a lot of assholes on there. 248 00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,709 It's a numbers game. 249 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,537 I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick, 250 00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:32,453 but you also have dick of every other kind too. 251 00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:36,674 Yeah, I know, which is like dicks flying at me 24/7. 252 00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:38,851 Exactly. 253 00:13:38,981 --> 00:13:40,940 I don't know, I might delete it. 254 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:44,682 Maybe it's true, you can't find romance through a screen. 255 00:13:44,813 --> 00:13:46,728 That is something that old people say 256 00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,252 because they resent the fact that we don't have to go 257 00:13:49,383 --> 00:13:52,038 and troll gross bars for sex like they did. 258 00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:53,735 Let me see your profile. 259 00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,432 Come here. 260 00:14:03,397 --> 00:14:05,225 You look like you're hosting a reality show 261 00:14:05,355 --> 00:14:08,924 called Extreme Brunch, or something. 262 00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:15,409 Do you have like, any photos of you wearing less clothing? 263 00:14:15,539 --> 00:14:18,891 Like, like showing less personality? 264 00:14:22,024 --> 00:14:25,375 Pretty cool that producer coming up to me today, huh? 265 00:14:25,506 --> 00:14:27,595 Yeah, incredible. 266 00:14:27,725 --> 00:14:29,379 Yeah, it's like I've only been out here six months 267 00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:32,382 and things are already starting to happen for me. 268 00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:34,167 [ sighs ] So, Sev. 269 00:14:34,297 --> 00:14:36,212 Mm-hmm? 270 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:38,040 We've been seeing each other a while now 271 00:14:38,171 --> 00:14:42,262 and I was wondering if... 272 00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,266 it was cool that I called you my girlfriend. 273 00:14:46,396 --> 00:14:48,137 You can call me whatever you want. 274 00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:50,226 I'm not precious about the terminology. 275 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:54,535 Okay, so uh, we're like, exclusive, then? 276 00:14:55,579 --> 00:14:57,277 Ford, we've discussed this. 277 00:14:57,407 --> 00:14:59,235 You know I believe that monogamy 278 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,933 is a form of social control, 279 00:15:01,063 --> 00:15:03,457 which is contrary to our nature. 280 00:15:03,587 --> 00:15:05,502 What? 281 00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:07,417 For centuries, humans migrated in egalitarian 282 00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:10,159 hunter-gatherer groups and shared everything, 283 00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,641 food, childcare, sexual partners. 284 00:15:13,771 --> 00:15:15,425 They were very promiscuous 285 00:15:15,556 --> 00:15:17,645 and it strengthened their relationships, 286 00:15:17,775 --> 00:15:19,386 but then agriculture came along 287 00:15:19,516 --> 00:15:21,170 and people became obsessed 288 00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:23,216 with ownership and private property. 289 00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:25,609 Oh, when was that? 290 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,352 About 10,000 years ago. 291 00:15:29,483 --> 00:15:30,788 Oh. 292 00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,052 Is this uh... 293 00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:37,012 Is this about me not being smart enough for you? 294 00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:39,754 I know you're a rocket scientist and-- 295 00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:41,625 Astrobiological theorist. 296 00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:43,366 And no, Ford, 297 00:15:43,497 --> 00:15:46,021 I actually think you're extraordinary. 298 00:15:46,152 --> 00:15:50,112 Plus, you have the world's most magnificent cock. 299 00:15:52,288 --> 00:15:53,681 Thanks. 300 00:15:53,811 --> 00:15:55,639 It's so magnificent, in fact, 301 00:15:55,770 --> 00:15:57,990 I'd feel guilty keeping it all to myself. 302 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,383 Modern relationships don't last 303 00:16:00,514 --> 00:16:03,343 because we expect too much of our partners. 304 00:16:03,473 --> 00:16:05,475 They need to fulfill us emotionally, 305 00:16:05,606 --> 00:16:07,869 satisfy us sexually. 306 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,177 That's a lot to ask of one person. 307 00:16:11,307 --> 00:16:15,659 Besides, future holds so much chaos and uncertainty. 308 00:16:16,878 --> 00:16:18,445 We must relish our freedom while it lasts. 309 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:23,015 -Uh, what? -Nothing. 310 00:16:26,279 --> 00:16:30,587 If you're saying what I think it is you're saying, 311 00:16:30,718 --> 00:16:34,113 if you, you know, um, if you want to give 312 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:38,073 the open relationship thing a try, 313 00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:39,335 I'm down. 314 00:16:43,339 --> 00:16:44,514 Really? 315 00:16:45,863 --> 00:16:47,256 You're not just saying that to make me happy? 316 00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:50,172 You know I have difficulties reading social cues. 317 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:53,697 I mean it. 318 00:16:58,572 --> 00:17:00,530 Okay, now pretend like you're laughing 319 00:17:00,661 --> 00:17:03,229 at a cute guy over there being funny. 320 00:17:03,359 --> 00:17:05,622 But why am I wearing a bikini in the living room? 321 00:17:05,753 --> 00:17:07,668 No one is thinking about that, Amber. 322 00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:10,671 This is literally just about assessing your genetics. 323 00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:14,283 -[ laughs ] -Oh, my God, okay, 324 00:17:14,414 --> 00:17:15,589 he's not, he's not like, that funny. 325 00:17:15,719 --> 00:17:18,766 -He's amusing. -Okay. 326 00:17:19,593 --> 00:17:20,594 [ chuckles ] 327 00:17:20,724 --> 00:17:22,987 He's mildly amusing. 328 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,208 -[ camera snaps ] -Perfect. 329 00:17:30,473 --> 00:17:32,040 I look mean. 330 00:17:32,171 --> 00:17:33,868 No, you look confused. 331 00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,217 You look hot and confused. 332 00:17:35,348 --> 00:17:37,089 That's the ideal combination. 333 00:17:37,219 --> 00:17:38,220 -What? -[ phone rings ] 334 00:17:38,351 --> 00:17:41,963 Oh, sorry. Hey. 335 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:43,617 Oh, my God, are you watching it? 336 00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:45,575 -Watching what? -Murderous Minds. 337 00:17:45,706 --> 00:17:47,534 I told you, my episode's on tonight. 338 00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:48,926 Oh, uh, shit! 339 00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:50,232 Oh, my God, that's right, babe! 340 00:17:50,363 --> 00:17:51,973 I totally forgot! 341 00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:53,496 That's so exciting! 342 00:17:53,627 --> 00:17:55,585 Fuck, Carly! 343 00:17:55,716 --> 00:17:57,021 Hope you didn't miss me. 344 00:17:57,152 --> 00:17:58,240 I've gotta set the DVR. 345 00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:02,288 -What's happening now? -What do you mean? 346 00:18:02,418 --> 00:18:05,029 JETHRO: On the show, Jesus! 347 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,945 Um, it, it looks like two cops 348 00:18:08,076 --> 00:18:10,513 are investigating like, a crime scene. 349 00:18:10,644 --> 00:18:12,820 Okay, shit, you're just in time. It's my scene. 350 00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:17,912 What's happening now? 351 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:19,566 They just zipped some guy into a body bag. 352 00:18:19,696 --> 00:18:20,610 Yes! 353 00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:22,046 [ grunts ] 354 00:18:24,397 --> 00:18:26,138 Was that you? 355 00:18:26,268 --> 00:18:27,530 Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell? 356 00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:30,881 No, you were amazing. 357 00:18:31,012 --> 00:18:32,187 Ah, I'm sure. 358 00:18:33,797 --> 00:18:34,755 Was I? 359 00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:36,278 Mm-hm. 360 00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,324 Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro. 361 00:18:38,454 --> 00:18:40,804 Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber! 362 00:18:40,935 --> 00:18:44,112 -She uh, she see me too? - Yup, she did. 363 00:18:44,243 --> 00:18:48,943 And uh, she thought you were uh, very believable. 364 00:18:49,639 --> 00:18:52,947 14 fucking million people watch that show. 365 00:18:53,077 --> 00:18:55,210 It's like I'm always telling you, Carly, 366 00:18:55,341 --> 00:18:56,646 it's about connecting the dots 367 00:18:56,777 --> 00:19:00,346 and maintaining a positive attitude. 368 00:19:00,476 --> 00:19:01,477 Which is why I really wish you'd come with me 369 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:03,175 to meditation class tonight. 370 00:19:03,305 --> 00:19:05,089 Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you, 371 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:07,353 I need to work on my scene for class tomorrow. 372 00:19:07,483 --> 00:19:11,226 Yeah, well, Car, the road to failure is paved with excuses. 373 00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:13,010 [ phone beeping ] 374 00:19:13,141 --> 00:19:14,969 Hey, babe, can we continue this later? 375 00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:17,711 Uly's on the other line, probably having a crisis. 376 00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:20,975 I'm almost to work anyway. Just wanted to share my moment of glory with ya. 377 00:19:21,105 --> 00:19:23,151 You were awesome, babe. 378 00:19:23,282 --> 00:19:25,501 Thanks, I'll swing by after work for another lesson. 379 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,548 Great. Okay, see ya. 380 00:19:28,678 --> 00:19:31,812 -Hey. -Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late. 381 00:19:31,942 --> 00:19:34,423 Like I said, low bar. 382 00:19:34,554 --> 00:19:37,121 What should I do now? Should I leave? 383 00:19:37,252 --> 00:19:40,255 [ chuckles ] Are you kidding? You lost all your dignity like, 28 minutes ago. 384 00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:42,692 I know. Am I tragic? 385 00:19:42,823 --> 00:19:44,216 Don't, don't answer that. 386 00:19:44,346 --> 00:19:45,956 I was really hoping to, you know, 387 00:19:46,087 --> 00:19:47,480 finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit. 388 00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:49,264 -CARLY: What? Is he there? -Yeah. 389 00:19:49,395 --> 00:19:51,223 -I'll call you back. -Okay, bye! 390 00:19:53,703 --> 00:19:57,054 Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry. 391 00:19:57,185 --> 00:19:59,143 You must think that I'm the hugest flake ever, 392 00:19:59,274 --> 00:20:01,668 but class got out late, Waze sent me to the wrong address, 393 00:20:01,798 --> 00:20:04,105 -and, and my phone died-- -It's, it's okay, it's okay-- 394 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,976 Don't worry about it. 395 00:20:06,107 --> 00:20:07,891 Seriously though, I'm big on first impressions 396 00:20:08,022 --> 00:20:11,155 and I feel so fucking bad. 397 00:20:11,286 --> 00:20:13,767 Well, you're here now, right? 398 00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:15,290 That's, that's all that matters. 399 00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:16,335 Yeah. 400 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,902 [ upbeat music ] 401 00:20:22,297 --> 00:20:26,083 [ "Diamond Veins" by French 79 ] 402 00:20:44,624 --> 00:20:49,324 ♪ Blood felt, joy of life 403 00:20:51,631 --> 00:20:52,849 Whoa. 404 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:54,373 Holy crap, baby. 405 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,765 [ Carly chuckles ] 406 00:20:55,896 --> 00:20:58,159 Hey, Smokey. You miss me? 407 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,030 Sure did. 408 00:21:00,161 --> 00:21:01,858 I want to drink you up like a piña colada. 409 00:21:01,989 --> 00:21:06,733 Good, because I've been a really bad girl. 410 00:21:06,863 --> 00:21:08,952 -[ loud slap ] -[ gasps ] Ooh! 411 00:21:09,083 --> 00:21:11,041 -[ loud slap ] -Ah! 412 00:21:11,172 --> 00:21:12,478 -[ loud slap ] -[ moans ] 413 00:21:12,608 --> 00:21:15,045 NERD: I really want to get to know you, the real you. 414 00:21:15,176 --> 00:21:17,091 Are you sure you just don't want me to like, 415 00:21:17,221 --> 00:21:18,962 finger myself or something? 416 00:21:19,093 --> 00:21:21,313 Could we just talk first? 417 00:21:21,443 --> 00:21:24,620 Like, what do you like most about being a cam girl? 418 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:29,277 Well, I uh, I have always wanted a job I could do lying down. 419 00:21:30,147 --> 00:21:31,192 Hm. 420 00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:33,847 Show me! 421 00:21:33,977 --> 00:21:35,849 Show me, you deviant little whore. 422 00:21:35,979 --> 00:21:38,286 You're so pitiful and weak! 423 00:21:38,417 --> 00:21:40,244 Just looking at you makes me sick. 424 00:21:40,375 --> 00:21:42,334 Get on your knees! 425 00:21:42,464 --> 00:21:46,555 Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled band practice for tonight. 426 00:21:46,686 --> 00:21:49,036 Ah, it, it's cool. 427 00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:50,690 It's just that a couple of weeks ago, 428 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:53,257 I, I declared this embargo on hookups. 429 00:21:53,388 --> 00:21:55,216 I mean, you know they're fun, obviously, 430 00:21:55,347 --> 00:22:00,090 but I always just feel, well, gross and pagan after. 431 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:02,745 Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean. 432 00:22:04,312 --> 00:22:06,009 So I, I made sure to make plans 433 00:22:06,140 --> 00:22:09,099 so that no matter how hot you were, 434 00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:12,712 I, you know, would have to restrain myself. 435 00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:16,716 No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it. 436 00:22:19,719 --> 00:22:22,025 We can hang out soon again, though, right? 437 00:22:22,156 --> 00:22:23,853 Definitely. 438 00:22:23,984 --> 00:22:26,116 -Oh, shit! -What? What? 439 00:22:26,247 --> 00:22:29,163 I fucking forgot to charge my phone! 440 00:22:29,293 --> 00:22:32,775 I got so distracted, I can't even text my band mates now. 441 00:22:33,907 --> 00:22:35,038 That sucks. 442 00:22:36,475 --> 00:22:39,434 I guess we'll jus- we'll just have to hang out 443 00:22:42,437 --> 00:22:45,135 again soon-- 444 00:22:45,266 --> 00:22:49,879 -[ car horn honking ] -[ men shouting ] 445 00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:53,883 Come on. 446 00:22:54,014 --> 00:22:56,712 [ gentle music ] 447 00:23:02,239 --> 00:23:03,719 No, wait. 448 00:23:03,850 --> 00:23:06,243 -What? -[ sighs ] 449 00:23:06,374 --> 00:23:07,941 I'm not blowing this, am I? 450 00:23:08,942 --> 00:23:10,944 What do you, What do you mean? 451 00:23:11,074 --> 00:23:13,033 Well, I'm gonna see you again, right? 452 00:23:13,163 --> 00:23:14,643 I mean, I'm not fucking this up doing this? 453 00:23:14,774 --> 00:23:17,690 No, no, no, you're not fucking this up. 454 00:23:17,820 --> 00:23:20,301 Good, 'cause I seriously cannot control myself right now. 455 00:23:24,131 --> 00:23:25,915 Handjobs only, though? 456 00:23:26,046 --> 00:23:27,003 What? 457 00:23:27,700 --> 00:23:29,223 For tonight, just handjobs? 458 00:23:30,354 --> 00:23:31,660 And save the rest for later? 459 00:23:32,661 --> 00:23:34,315 Yeah. Yeah. 460 00:23:34,446 --> 00:23:35,969 Okay, we need to hurry, though, 461 00:23:36,099 --> 00:23:37,492 'cause I literally only have like, two minutes, okay? 462 00:23:41,757 --> 00:23:43,280 Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm? 463 00:23:43,411 --> 00:23:46,414 WORM: Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them? 464 00:23:46,545 --> 00:23:48,024 Like this, you mean? 465 00:23:48,155 --> 00:23:51,114 Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling. 466 00:23:51,245 --> 00:23:52,376 Worm, you know you need to ask me 467 00:23:52,507 --> 00:23:54,683 more respectfully than that. 468 00:23:54,814 --> 00:23:57,077 Please. Please wiggle your toes for me. 469 00:23:57,207 --> 00:23:58,905 CARLY: Much better. 470 00:23:59,035 --> 00:24:00,602 Hell yeah. 471 00:24:01,864 --> 00:24:02,778 Keep wiggling. 472 00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:04,780 More, more wiggle. 473 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:07,217 Oh, God. [ moans ] 474 00:24:07,348 --> 00:24:10,351 [ both moaning ] 475 00:24:11,570 --> 00:24:12,788 -Oh! -God! 476 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:15,574 Oh, oh, oh fuck! 477 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,663 [ groaning ] 478 00:24:17,793 --> 00:24:19,926 -Oh! -Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck! 479 00:24:20,056 --> 00:24:22,494 [ both groan ] 480 00:24:22,624 --> 00:24:25,322 [ all groaning ] 481 00:24:34,767 --> 00:24:37,204 [ both panting ] 482 00:24:37,683 --> 00:24:38,597 Fuck. 483 00:24:43,210 --> 00:24:44,994 MAGENTA: What can I do for you, Mistress? 484 00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:46,256 I'm here to please you. 485 00:24:46,387 --> 00:24:47,780 I'll do anything you want. 486 00:24:49,869 --> 00:24:53,350 How about you do 30 naked pushups? 487 00:24:53,481 --> 00:24:55,265 Would that make Mistress happy? 488 00:24:55,396 --> 00:24:56,832 To be honest, no. 489 00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,921 I just- I don't really care. 490 00:24:59,052 --> 00:25:00,706 Well, what would make you truly happy? 491 00:25:00,836 --> 00:25:02,272 I'm here to serve you. 492 00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:05,319 Really? 493 00:25:07,669 --> 00:25:11,107 Do you want to run lines with me for my acting class 494 00:25:11,238 --> 00:25:13,240 'cause I have to memorize all these by tomorrow. 495 00:25:13,370 --> 00:25:15,547 Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one. 496 00:25:15,677 --> 00:25:17,331 But you said you would do anything. 497 00:25:17,461 --> 00:25:18,985 Well, I know, but-- 498 00:25:19,115 --> 00:25:20,464 Well, okay, well, what if I like, 499 00:25:20,595 --> 00:25:21,683 take my top off while I do it? 500 00:25:21,814 --> 00:25:22,728 Okay, sure. 501 00:25:22,858 --> 00:25:24,599 Cool. Great. 502 00:25:24,730 --> 00:25:25,731 Okay. 503 00:25:25,861 --> 00:25:30,170 So, you're Anne, 504 00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:32,041 and I'm Mary, okay? 505 00:25:33,565 --> 00:25:34,740 Okay. 506 00:25:36,698 --> 00:25:40,746 Do you feel as awful as you look? 507 00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:43,966 Why would you come here if all you wanted to do was torment me? 508 00:25:44,097 --> 00:25:45,446 Hey, you're good. 509 00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:47,013 Hey! 510 00:25:47,143 --> 00:25:48,275 -[ snaps ] -Stay in character! 511 00:25:48,405 --> 00:25:49,319 Next line. 512 00:25:49,450 --> 00:25:50,320 ULYSSES: Wow. 513 00:25:54,411 --> 00:25:56,283 That was kind of intense. 514 00:25:56,413 --> 00:25:57,327 Yeah. 515 00:25:58,111 --> 00:26:00,287 [ panting ] 516 00:26:05,379 --> 00:26:07,381 Seriously, I mean what was that? 517 00:26:07,511 --> 00:26:09,383 Was it, was it just me or did, did it feel like 518 00:26:09,513 --> 00:26:12,038 the universe collapsed in on itself for a second there? 519 00:26:12,168 --> 00:26:13,082 No, I felt it too. 520 00:26:15,737 --> 00:26:16,999 I'm almost afraid to see what happens 521 00:26:17,130 --> 00:26:18,131 when we actually have sex. 522 00:26:20,263 --> 00:26:23,789 Look, I, I realize that we just met 523 00:26:23,919 --> 00:26:27,880 and I, I don't want to sound too psycho stalkery or anything, 524 00:26:28,010 --> 00:26:32,667 but something strange seems to be going on here. 525 00:26:35,104 --> 00:26:36,845 Yeah. 526 00:26:36,976 --> 00:26:39,065 Yeah, I mean, it sort of- it sort of feels like 527 00:26:40,893 --> 00:26:41,981 -fate. -Fate. 528 00:26:47,726 --> 00:26:49,510 But I- got to go, my band mates are gonna kill me. 529 00:26:49,641 --> 00:26:51,381 Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. 530 00:26:51,512 --> 00:26:54,950 So uh, so when do I get to see you next? 531 00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,648 Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you-- 532 00:26:56,778 --> 00:26:59,563 -How about tomorrow? -Tomorrow's great. 533 00:27:00,564 --> 00:27:01,478 Cool. 534 00:27:02,697 --> 00:27:03,698 Oh, fuck. 535 00:27:08,442 --> 00:27:10,618 Okay, shit. 536 00:27:10,749 --> 00:27:11,924 Now I really got to go. 537 00:27:12,054 --> 00:27:14,013 Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. 538 00:27:15,231 --> 00:27:17,843 [ gentle music ] 539 00:27:34,250 --> 00:27:35,774 Holy fucking shit! 540 00:27:38,341 --> 00:27:39,255 -[ loud crash ] -[ yelps ] 541 00:27:39,386 --> 00:27:40,517 [ loud thud ] 542 00:27:44,521 --> 00:27:45,697 Ow! 543 00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:18,077 [ ethereal music ] 544 00:28:18,207 --> 00:28:19,687 Help me! 545 00:28:21,428 --> 00:28:22,995 Please! 546 00:28:30,132 --> 00:28:31,177 Please, help me! 547 00:28:33,266 --> 00:28:34,223 No! 548 00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:37,749 Oh, God! 549 00:28:37,879 --> 00:28:40,186 No! No! 550 00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:48,934 [ groaning ] 551 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,373 Oh, God, no! 552 00:28:55,070 --> 00:28:56,071 No! 553 00:29:03,078 --> 00:29:04,210 No! 554 00:29:05,254 --> 00:29:06,386 Help me! 555 00:29:07,822 --> 00:29:09,041 Please! 556 00:29:09,171 --> 00:29:10,085 Help me! 557 00:29:10,216 --> 00:29:11,086 [ hisses loudly ] 558 00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:13,132 [ screams ] 559 00:29:14,916 --> 00:29:18,354 [ "Star Roving" by Slowdive ] 560 00:29:29,104 --> 00:29:32,934 ♪ Give it away now, girl 561 00:29:33,065 --> 00:29:36,111 ♪ Can't hold