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‎NETFLIX 剧集

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‎我刚把镇子重建好 现在又毁了！

3
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‎你一个警察
‎居然只知道唱《人潮高涨》？

4
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‎知道吗? 你被解雇了！
‎还有你那帮白痴条子

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‎该死！

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‎兰德尔 我要生了！

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‎凯伦 我刚还在想
‎你究竟几时要把话绕回到自己身上

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‎不要啊！

9
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‎不要啊！

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‎多比 你小子怎么回事？

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‎我们可没教你活吞狗狗
‎大男人和变态

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‎罗比 他这都是跟你学的

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‎那不一样 我还能挣五美分

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‎多比 赶紧给我滚回家去

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‎-太好了 一切都解决了
‎-兰德尔 宝宝！

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‎好吧 帮你叫辆优步去医院 是吧？

17
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‎高峰期加价 该死

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‎既然某人把我开除了
‎咱们还是用优步拼车吧

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‎你们有人订了优步拼车？

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‎心理治疗肯定要聊这个

21
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‎作为你的心理治疗师

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‎我建议孩子出生时 你最好也在场

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‎你说了算 厄尔医生

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‎（天堂镇医院）

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‎医生 你感觉如何？

26
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‎有点不对劲 我洗澡后又便便了

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‎我是说孩子！

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‎哦！别担心 兰德尔

29
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‎就像我常说的：“死产的还没死”

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‎用力 凯伦

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‎瞧瞧他

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‎跟我长得一样

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‎新生儿的味道 怎么闻都闻不够

34
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‎（屎事常有）

35
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‎（海军陆战队 荣誉承诺）

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‎（寻人启事）

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‎兰德尔 我大便拉在桌子上了
‎你个白痴！

38
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‎去你妈的 我要留着他！

39
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‎我的小弟弟呢？我等不及要见他了

40
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‎容我介绍家中的最新成员：
‎凯文克劳馥

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‎那是我的名字

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‎以前是！

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‎我们以前之所以这么叫你
‎是以为你是个儿子！

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‎他是个粑粑头

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‎没错！被他说中了 混蛋！

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‎好吧 他已经骑到我头上了

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‎总之 我有东西送给你…凯文

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‎那手机就是破烂儿 阿夫卡

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‎阿夫卡？

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‎阿夫卡 A-F-K-A-K

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‎意思是“以前叫凯文的混蛋”
‎跟上点节奏好吗 阿夫卡？

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‎兰德尔送了我一部“苹果11”

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‎我已经在约会软件上
‎勾搭了一个热辣妞儿

54
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‎哪个会在约炮时臭臭啊？

55
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‎宝宝会在约炮时臭臭呢

56
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‎你就是个小渣渣 是呢 是呢

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‎该吃奶奶咯 小凯文

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‎你从来没给我哺乳过

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‎我试过 但你老是死盯着我
‎还总是勃起

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‎我才没有

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‎你现在就是

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‎也没什么可惜的
‎这玩意儿我可喝不下去

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‎恶心得要死 但他调得出也够厉害的

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‎我说 阿夫卡 连你也不得不承认
‎他比你可强太多了

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‎那我成了家里第二受宠的儿子了？

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‎不对 是第三

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‎（欢迎来到天堂镇）

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‎跑到镇上充哥斯拉 我要打你屁股

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‎我们刚买了快餐 去给我折根树枝

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‎这他妈算哪门子树枝？
‎我可举不起来！

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‎你知道我在假装残疾 现在回屋去

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‎搞什么？你儿子毁了我们的房子！

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‎他一干坏事就是我儿子

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‎人们一夸他老二大
‎他就成了你儿子了

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‎这倒好 我们上哪儿
‎另找个破烂地方住？

76
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‎戴拔 你是不是
‎跟我想到一块儿去了？

77
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‎念个技校 找份正经工作

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‎攒够首付在郊区买栋好房子

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‎工匠小屋或者都铎复兴式？

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‎我想说爬上咱儿子屁眼儿 住在里面

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‎你的主意比较好

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‎凯伦 你以为炒了我们鱿鱼
‎我们就会哭哭啼啼

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‎然而没有 因为警队变成派对达人了

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‎这里现在改名叫“爷们儿窝”

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‎没事玩玩棋盘游戏 吃吃阳光薯片…

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‎凯伦 求你把工作还给我吧！

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‎（派对达人）

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‎早啊！阿夫卡 你干嘛呢？

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‎我联络了全州所有的搏击俱乐部
‎和减肥训练营 他们都说没见过吉娜

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‎我看上去像在乎这事儿吗？

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‎天啊 达斯提 你以前那么好一个人
‎什么时候变成混蛋了？

92
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‎这叫人设发展 你抽空也试试

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‎我就试试忘记吉娜失踪

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‎我那人渣弟弟抢了我的名字

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‎早上好 爷们儿们

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‎首先 让我们以片刻静默
‎纪念子弹和菲兹

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‎那霍普森呢？

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‎我没忘记霍普森

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‎我也提议为警队默哀片刻

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‎好诡异 没了我们 镇子好像更安宁了

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‎是啊 咱们工作干得太烂了

102
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‎警局玩儿完
‎至少不用闻流浪警察的臭味了

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‎嘿 我可是粉丝最爱

104
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‎等等 凯伦让你继续当警察？

105
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‎没错 她说不能开除流浪警察

106
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‎她大概是喜欢这名字

107
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‎她说这是这节目
‎有史以来最机灵的笑话

108
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‎切 去他娘的警察！
‎爷们儿窝禁止条子入内！

109
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‎吃亏的是你！

110
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‎没有我接你的梗
‎我看你演不演得下去！

111
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‎嘿 阿夫卡
‎上易趣把这些警察的东西卖了

112
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‎下次再有人跟我玩躲猫猫
‎老子就会接招了

113
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‎你不能持枪

114
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‎别担心 老爸已经教会他用了

115
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‎没错 果然是老爸教出来的 神准

116
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‎父子猎鹿比赛 我们准能赢

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‎你要带他参赛？那可是
‎咱俩每年唯一一起做的事

118
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‎我当然要带他去

119
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‎你不喜欢打猎 我不喜欢和你相处

120
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‎兰德尔说等我们赢了
‎我就是他最疼的儿子

121
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‎就当你已经挂了

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‎比赛肯定吓得你妹妹暴口子

123
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‎我要是下面长个妹妹
‎那肯定也是我舔裂的

124
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‎好吧 看来阿夫卡得确保

125
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‎小凯文赢不了比赛

126
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‎用古老野兽男孩的破坏术！

127
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‎太好笑了

128
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‎你们这些混蛋

129
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‎（天堂镇动物救助站）

130
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‎你好 先生

131
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‎我来更换上周领走的
‎这25只有缺陷的小猫

132
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‎它们没有九条命 只有一条

133
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‎你一周内杀了25只猫？

134
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‎算上来这儿的路上辗死的 一共30只

135
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‎（我爱我猫）

136
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‎记录上说去年你的猫都是饿死的

137
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‎先生 对此我有充分合理的理由

138
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‎我雇了条瘾君狗看猫

139
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‎当时我因为谋杀圣诞老人成了死囚

140
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‎你被除名了 先生
‎我们再也不会把其他的猫交给你

141
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‎就因为我笨手笨脚的？

142
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‎再说 看看那些小可怜儿
‎它们多想跟我回家家啊

143
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‎加菲猫就是这么挂的

144
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‎讽刺的是 他选在星期二了断

145
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‎懂了没？因为他讨厌星期一！

146
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‎加菲猫段子 笑死你叔我了！

147
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‎干得好！

148
00:09:29,584 --> 00:09:31,168
‎罗比 这可不对

149
00:09:33,459 --> 00:09:36,168
‎你进去之前应该擦擦脚

150
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‎（欢迎）

151
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‎看吧 我就说嘛 这里比旧家强多了

152
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‎墙上的屎少多了

153
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‎我靠

154
00:09:51,668 --> 00:09:53,834
‎吉翔如意 兄弟们

155
00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:57,376
‎欢迎来到“乌多邦”

156
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‎没错 平安多多 兄弟

157
00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:03,543
‎自从和“乌多邦”的自然世界对接后

158
00:10:03,626 --> 00:10:05,918
‎我从没像现在这么开心过

159
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:08,376
‎这里是养育我们儿子的绝佳地方

160
00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:13,584
‎自从成为精子牧场主
‎我感觉自己终于圆满了！

161
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:18,001
‎这才是我们应有的生活

162
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:21,793
‎人手不曾触及的真正天堂

163
00:10:21,876 --> 00:10:24,126
‎感觉像家一样

164
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‎至少很快能实现
‎戴拔 把那些破烂倒在这儿

165
00:10:29,668 --> 00:10:31,168
‎搞什么？

166
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:34,501
‎你把所有能想到的
‎白人垃圾都带来了？

167
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:37,543
‎没错 女士们、先生们 摇滚小子！

168
00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:43,209
‎嘿 各位！谁准备好听渣渣音乐了？

169
00:10:43,293 --> 00:10:45,251
‎我的小可爱

170
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:49,626
‎妈妈上班班时好想你呢 是呢！

171
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‎还好你没像
‎生完阿夫卡时那样产后抑郁

172
00:10:54,084 --> 00:10:56,501
‎没有 乐呵着呢 拜了！

173
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‎我他妈恨死你了！操死我全家！

174
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:05,876
‎会过去的 凯伦

175
00:11:05,959 --> 00:11:08,959
‎我小时候 我妈妈得了产后抑郁

176
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‎往好处想想 我还因此学会了游泳

177
00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:13,543
‎从被推进湖里的车子里游了出来

178
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‎谢谢你安慰我 安东

179
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:19,876
‎但我日子过得太糟心
‎个人成就也毁了

180
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‎我花了一年时间重建天堂镇
‎可现在它又毁了

181
00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:26,126
‎你猜怎的？去他娘的！

182
00:11:27,376 --> 00:11:31,001
‎别！发动贱人闪击前 先听我说

183
00:11:31,084 --> 00:11:33,959
‎我找到一个方法
‎可以挽救镇子和你的成就

184
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:37,209
‎伊隆马斯克
‎想把特斯拉的总部搬到别处

185
00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:38,876
‎我觉得天堂镇有机会

186
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:42,293
‎因为伊隆马斯克
‎铁了心给自己的公司挖坑

187
00:11:42,376 --> 00:11:45,334
‎“管英勇洞穴潜水员叫恋童癖” 搞定

188
00:11:45,418 --> 00:11:48,543
‎“支持躁郁说唱歌手竞选总统” 搞定

189
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:51,501
‎“花六十亿挖隧道挖个寂寞” 搞定

190
00:11:51,584 --> 00:11:54,126
‎“拿符号给儿子取名” 搞定

191
00:11:54,209 --> 00:11:56,626
‎今天状态不错啊 伊隆 搞定！

192
00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:58,209
‎（父子猎鹿比赛）

193
00:12:00,751 --> 00:12:03,209
‎那新来的是谁？瞧着好猥琐

194
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:04,793
‎我看他挺好的

195
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:10,126
‎哥们儿 你就是因为
‎妄加评判才离的婚

196
00:12:10,209 --> 00:12:13,418
‎注意！鹿…友们

197
00:12:13,501 --> 00:12:17,376
‎有谁在父子猎鹿比赛中失去过至亲？

198
00:12:17,459 --> 00:12:21,084
‎今年 我不会让你们任何一位丢命

199
00:12:21,168 --> 00:12:23,168
‎此路不通！

200
00:12:23,918 --> 00:12:25,376
‎此“鹿”不通…

201
00:12:26,168 --> 00:12:28,376
‎好蹩脚 伙计

202
00:12:28,459 --> 00:12:30,293
‎这些玩意儿可以保护你们

203
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:34,251
‎等等 这是什么？

204
00:12:34,334 --> 00:12:37,668
‎那是枪 你们可别用 可危险了

205
00:12:37,751 --> 00:12:41,376
‎与其忙着逃命 不如弄死他们 如何？

206
00:12:41,959 --> 00:12:44,418
‎不要了吧

207
00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:46,459
‎你们从哪儿弄来的马？

208
00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:48,043
‎攻击！

209
00:12:49,459 --> 00:12:50,876
‎哇！好耶！

210
00:12:53,209 --> 00:12:56,709
‎狗娘养的不让我养猫！
‎我要让他见识见识！

211
00:12:57,751 --> 00:12:59,001
‎好吃

212
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:00,334
‎哦 这条油水大

213
00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:02,418
‎绝对不是陷阱

214
00:13:05,209 --> 00:13:07,168
‎-搞什么？
‎-你就是我的新猫

215
00:13:07,251 --> 00:13:08,834
‎我才不是猫！

216
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,751
‎-你在盒子里拉屎吗？
‎-是的 先生

217
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,543
‎-你吃耗子吗？
‎-是的 先生

218
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,959
‎-你有银行账户吗？
‎-没有 先生

219
00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:18,334
‎-那你就是只猫！
‎-我靠 我是只猫

220
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:20,584
‎我要叫他“乔治”

221
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:23,626
‎亲亲抱抱挤泡泡

222
00:13:24,918 --> 00:13:27,376
‎放开我！你要弄死我了！

223
00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:33,626
‎你个混蛋！
‎我就知道应该把你爪子给去了

224
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:43,168
‎这么大噪音 我家宝贝们都郁闷了

225
00:13:49,626 --> 00:13:53,959
‎够了！我在此召集乌多邦地区会议！

226
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:57,501
‎好了 我们得处理…

227
00:13:57,584 --> 00:14:01,126
‎等等 还没进行“乌多邦握手”

228
00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:02,543
‎握你个大头鬼

229
00:14:02,626 --> 00:14:07,793
‎我曾经又“握”又“手”
‎结果“冰雪皇后”就把我炒了

230
00:14:07,876 --> 00:14:11,168
‎既然气呼呼先生这么着急

231
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,751
‎我们就直奔议会歌

232
00:14:21,043 --> 00:14:21,959
‎行了！

233
00:14:22,043 --> 00:14:25,584
‎听着 这些乡巴佬正在乌多邦搞破坏

234
00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:27,709
‎谁赞成把他们踢走…

235
00:14:27,793 --> 00:14:29,876
‎你不是吧？连投票仪式歌都不唱？

236
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,209
‎-罗比 你不把晚餐吃完？
‎-你给我闭嘴

237
00:14:40,293 --> 00:14:43,793
‎去你娘的 老子以后
‎再也不给你做热月精龙虾了

238
00:14:43,876 --> 00:14:45,376
‎（欢迎来到天堂镇）

239
00:14:45,459 --> 00:14:48,793
‎小凯文 我已经等不及
‎把今年的奖杯捧回家了

240
00:14:48,876 --> 00:14:52,751
‎爸 你就坐着美美地等吧
‎力气活儿交给我

241
00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:54,959
‎你听到了吗？他说我美美

242
00:14:56,418 --> 00:14:58,959
‎先别忙 流氓手爱德华

243
00:14:59,043 --> 00:15:01,501
‎那奖杯肯定归杰瑞和我

244
00:15:01,584 --> 00:15:03,084
‎你们连枪都没拿

245
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,418
‎谁需要枪啊

246
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:13,001
‎奇怪 怎么一头鹿都没见到

247
00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:15,876
‎肯定很快就碰上那些

248
00:15:15,959 --> 00:15:18,251
‎毫无防备的可怜笨鬼了

249
00:15:24,709 --> 00:15:25,709
‎搞什么？

250
00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:31,876
‎老天 鹿把所有的辅助角色都灭了！

251
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,501
‎快跑 法官法官！

252
00:15:37,376 --> 00:15:39,959
‎他们从哪儿弄到飞机的？

253
00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,376
‎（天堂镇 市政厅）

254
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,751
‎喂 我想和伊隆马斯克谈谈

255
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:47,876
‎什么？我打错了？
‎你知道吗？去他的！

256
00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:53,793
‎很久没见过这么爱按钮的了

257
00:15:53,876 --> 00:15:55,918
‎上回还是我在马特劳尔那儿实习时

258
00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:57,668
‎叮铃铃！

259
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,209
‎我是个孤单的小孩

260
00:16:03,293 --> 00:16:06,418
‎无猫的生活好渺小

261
00:16:06,501 --> 00:16:09,001
‎难道因为之前弄死一堆

262
00:16:09,084 --> 00:16:12,668
‎就不让人家养猫猫

263
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:18,126
‎它们在天有灵 肯定都把我想念

264
00:16:18,209 --> 00:16:21,668
‎才怪 死胖子 老子恨你恨到生无可恋

265
00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:25,459
‎阴雨的漫长周末
‎可记得我们相互依偎多温存？

266
00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:30,918
‎我记得你让我们饿肚子
‎还逼我拿朋友开荤

267
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:32,793
‎我们的情谊千金难求

268
00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:34,834
‎你把老子抱到爆头

269
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:36,668
‎你每天把我舔翻

270
00:16:36,751 --> 00:16:38,501
‎你害我得上甲肝

271
00:16:38,584 --> 00:16:40,334
‎我从没听过猫抱怨

272
00:16:40,418 --> 00:16:42,584
‎你的大肥屁股把我脸坐扁

273
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,334
‎应该再给我一次机会

274
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,751
‎老兄 你刚跳舞把我压废

275
00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:51,418
‎我为你准备了一个充满爱的家

276
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:53,751
‎就像是猫科金銮殿

277
00:16:53,834 --> 00:16:56,459
‎你家就是死亡集中营

278
00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:59,459
‎奥斯维辛重现

279
00:17:00,126 --> 00:17:05,668
‎我能否找到另一个毛茸茸的伙伴？

280
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,543
‎我发誓 你再也找不到

281
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:13,459
‎有哪只猫咪会堕落到

282
00:17:13,543 --> 00:17:19,459
‎跟你一起玩

283
00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:23,501
‎那可不一定 宝贝！

284
00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:29,668
‎你在退伍军人中心给我下药
‎还把我屁眼翻了个里朝外

285
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:33,543
‎先生 你要的是霍普森的歌

286
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:41,668
‎快跑 戴拔！

287
00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:46,876
‎议会发话了

288
00:17:46,959 --> 00:17:50,709
‎你们俩马上离开乌多邦
‎从哪儿来回哪儿去

289
00:17:51,668 --> 00:17:53,501
‎那是不可能的

290
00:17:57,793 --> 00:18:01,459
‎请叫我伍迪艾伦 我口自家娃儿

291
00:18:01,543 --> 00:18:03,459
‎叮铃铃！

292
00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:04,543
‎据说而已

293
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:08,293
‎你们这些笨蛋
‎破坏了“多半球”微妙平衡

294
00:18:08,376 --> 00:18:11,168
‎多了个去！乌多邦完蛋了！

295
00:18:11,751 --> 00:18:13,668
‎抱歉 我得了动脉瘤

296
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:23,126
‎第一天一起玩 好朋友一辈子

297
00:18:23,209 --> 00:18:27,709
‎晚餐好了 我毛茸茸的朋友
‎这是你最喜欢的炸鱼！

298
00:18:29,126 --> 00:18:31,043
‎我倒不介意

299
00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:34,793
‎我真不明白
‎那些猫怎么那么怕你 太搞了

300
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:37,043
‎我也完全不明白

301
00:18:37,126 --> 00:18:42,584
‎失陪一下
‎我把热油倒进浴缸排水口 哎呀！

302
00:18:43,918 --> 00:18:46,251
‎你被烫着了吧？

303
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,709
‎该死！

304
00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:50,876
‎你在生我的气吗？

305
00:18:50,959 --> 00:18:54,043
‎生气？我靠 老子高潮三轮了

306
00:18:54,126 --> 00:18:55,459
‎我会喜欢这里的

307
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:58,418
‎再烧一锅 倒我小穴里

308
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:01,376
‎我们都要死了！

309
00:19:01,459 --> 00:19:04,459
‎快点 爬上多比的喉咙
‎我们从他嘴里逃出去！

310
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,001
‎你见过他的嘴什么样吗？

311
00:19:06,084 --> 00:19:08,251
‎我们永远都躲不过那些大牙

312
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:11,334
‎而这个近亲交配的白痴
‎炸毁了另一个出口！

313
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,751
‎我们出不去了！

314
00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:14,834
‎我知道另一条出路

315
00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:19,459
‎霍普森 你他妈在干什么？

316
00:19:19,543 --> 00:19:21,501
‎他在折腾你儿子的前列腺

317
00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:23,251
‎咱儿子

318
00:19:26,084 --> 00:19:29,126
‎这样应该够了 赶紧上马！

319
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,168
‎有什么计划？

320
00:19:31,251 --> 00:19:32,334
‎计划？

321
00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:37,876
‎等他射了 咱要骑六匹白马冲出去！

322
00:19:46,626 --> 00:19:49,668
‎必须的

323
00:19:50,168 --> 00:19:55,251
‎所以我觉得天堂镇将是
‎特斯拉总部的完美选择

324
00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:57,293
‎你要亲自来镇上看看吗？

325
00:19:57,376 --> 00:19:59,293
‎太好了 马斯克先生！

326
00:19:59,376 --> 00:20:01,293
‎期待与你本人见面！

327
00:20:02,043 --> 00:20:03,459
‎他要来了！

328
00:20:03,543 --> 00:20:04,709
‎感觉好点了吗？

329
00:20:04,793 --> 00:20:05,959
‎好多了

330
00:20:06,043 --> 00:20:08,626
‎我买了你最喜欢的咖啡庆祝

331
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,251
‎为什么我的杯子上写着“凯伦”？

332
00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:12,668
‎因为那是你的名字

333
00:20:12,751 --> 00:20:14,793
‎胡说八道！你以为我是凯伦

334
00:20:14,876 --> 00:20:17,668
‎那可是对别人最差劲的称呼

335
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,043
‎得 去他娘的

336
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:29,834
‎（好家伙斯科特！
‎射了六个人出来 我都脱水了）

337
00:20:33,751 --> 00:20:40,459
‎亲爱的上帝 如果你不想
‎让我再对孩子下手 就显露神迹吧

338
00:20:43,418 --> 00:20:45,751
‎有越南产的吗？

339
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,543
‎别打脸 我要骑他

340
00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:58,334
‎饶命啊 我可是爷们儿窝之父

341
00:20:58,418 --> 00:21:01,043
‎这地方写作“爷们儿窝”

342
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,418
‎这是我想出最棒的双关了

343
00:21:03,501 --> 00:21:05,168
‎住手！别杀他！

344
00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:07,043
‎为啥？他们人太多了

345
00:21:07,126 --> 00:21:09,543
‎你觉得报复能得到满足

346
00:21:09,626 --> 00:21:13,251
‎但报复完却只会很难过

347
00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:14,959
‎只会感到空虚

348
00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:17,834
‎真美 但我还要弄死他

349
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:28,001
‎不要啊！

350
00:21:31,084 --> 00:21:36,084
‎我只剩下个废物儿子和屎坨娃仔！

351
00:21:36,709 --> 00:21:39,543
‎我靠 我儿子刀枪不入！

352
00:21:39,626 --> 00:21:41,251
‎此路不通！

353
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,751
‎哇 我还没听过这么好的俏皮话

354
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:46,668
‎这段子是我先讲的

355
00:21:46,751 --> 00:21:48,834
‎我靠！鹿会说话！

356
00:21:52,918 --> 00:21:54,918
‎不死婴儿拯救世界

357
00:21:55,001 --> 00:21:57,584
‎镇压人猿星球式鹿群起义

358
00:21:57,668 --> 00:22:00,418
‎并赢得便宜塑料奖杯

359
00:22:00,501 --> 00:22:02,959
‎因可能成为本季后续重要内容

360
00:22:03,043 --> 00:22:05,668
‎下面有请川普医学院的唯一毕业生

361
00:22:05,751 --> 00:22:09,293
‎来解释该婴儿的不死原理

362
00:22:10,209 --> 00:22:14,376
‎检查婴儿后我发现 其不死之躯

363
00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:16,126
‎很可能是源于

364
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:19,334
‎一颗15岁的顽强不死之精子

365
00:22:21,543 --> 00:22:25,709
‎下则新闻 一个白痴老变态失心疯

366
00:22:25,793 --> 00:22:28,501
‎为巨型精子开设牧场

367
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,584
‎一般般吧

368
00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:39,293
‎它们在天有灵 肯定都把我想念

369
00:22:39,376 --> 00:22:43,084
‎才怪 死胖子 老子恨你恨到生无可恋

370
00:22:43,168 --> 00:22:46,626
‎阴雨的漫长周末
‎可记得我们相互依偎多温存？

371
00:22:46,709 --> 00:22:52,543
‎我记得你让我们饿肚子
‎还逼我拿朋友开荤

372
00:22:52,626 --> 00:22:54,043
‎我们的情谊千金难求

373
00:22:54,126 --> 00:22:56,084
‎你把老子抱到爆头

374
00:22:56,168 --> 00:22:57,959
‎你每天把我舔翻

375
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,751
‎你害我得上甲肝

376
00:22:59,834 --> 00:23:01,501
‎我从没听过猫抱怨

377
00:23:01,584 --> 00:23:03,793
‎你的大肥屁股把我脸坐扁

378
00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:05,918
‎应该再给我一次机会

379
00:23:06,001 --> 00:23:09,084
‎老兄 你刚跳舞把我压废

380
00:23:10,168 --> 00:23:13,084
‎我为你准备了一个充满爱的家

381
00:23:13,168 --> 00:23:15,293
‎就像是猫科金銮殿

382
00:23:15,376 --> 00:23:17,376
‎你家就是死亡集中营

383
00:23:17,459 --> 00:23:19,084
‎字幕翻译：Ellen L