1
00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:18,168
Morning, Karen.
Morning, Peter Dinklage in a dog suit.
2
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:21,418
Bark, bark. I love drugs.
3
00:00:21,501 --> 00:00:22,793
Wait, what the fuck?
4
00:00:22,876 --> 00:00:26,834
Elon Musk is coming to scout Paradise
today for the new Tesla headquarters,
5
00:00:26,918 --> 00:00:28,584
and I didn't want
any idiots screwing it up,
6
00:00:28,668 --> 00:00:31,209
so I replaced everyone
in town with actors!
7
00:00:31,293 --> 00:00:34,709
Drug train coming through. Who wants some…
8
00:00:34,793 --> 00:00:35,793
Line!
9
00:00:35,876 --> 00:00:40,709
Are you professional or not?
I'm Christian Bale, you prick!
10
00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:45,793
I gained 500 fucking pounds
for this fucking role! Goop!
11
00:00:45,876 --> 00:00:49,876
Hello, I'm Hopson, and I love cum.
12
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:52,834
Okay, that's a pretty good Hopson,
but who's that as Fitz?
13
00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:53,751
Bill Cosby.
14
00:00:53,834 --> 00:00:58,501
I had the sex with the dolphins
in the buttocks, you see.
15
00:00:58,584 --> 00:01:00,751
-No. No. There is a line, Karen.
16
00:01:00,834 --> 00:01:02,709
Ooh! Who'd you get to play me?
17
00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:04,501
Rob Riggle. He was cheap.
18
00:01:04,584 --> 00:01:08,334
What? Rob fucking Riggle,
the host of Holey Moley?
19
00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:10,084
I look nothing like that guy.
20
00:01:10,168 --> 00:01:12,168
Plus, everyone else got an A-list actor.
21
00:01:12,251 --> 00:01:14,626
You even replaced our son
with Tilda Swinton.
22
00:01:14,709 --> 00:01:16,001
Dad, it's me.
23
00:01:16,084 --> 00:01:17,418
AFKAK.
24
00:01:18,168 --> 00:01:20,543
No one would take on the AFKAK role.
25
00:01:20,626 --> 00:01:23,959
Not even Nicolas Cage,
and he says yes to everything.
26
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,459
I'm a side table.
27
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:28,834
Who wants to open me up
and look for the remote?!
28
00:01:30,584 --> 00:01:34,626
Karen, you are not replacing everyone
to impress Elon Musk.
29
00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:36,584
I want all these actors outta here!
30
00:01:36,668 --> 00:01:38,543
Just one more for fun.
31
00:01:38,626 --> 00:01:40,543
It's me. Hobo-Cop.
32
00:01:40,626 --> 00:01:43,376
I poop in a mayonnaise jar. Oh boy.
33
00:01:54,209 --> 00:01:57,584
Son, I've got the most exciting,
best possible news ever.
34
00:01:57,668 --> 00:01:59,959
Oh, thank God. You found Gina.
35
00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:03,543
Fuck Gina! In two days,
the McRib is coming back!
36
00:02:03,626 --> 00:02:05,501
Ugh. You actually eat that shit?
37
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:09,043
The only way the McRib could be
more disgusting is if Taco Bell made it.
38
00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:10,918
High Bullet wouldn't say that.
39
00:02:11,001 --> 00:02:12,918
I wouldn't say that at all.
40
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:15,459
Fuck this dude, man. McRibs are awesome.
41
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:17,793
That must be some good shit.
Let me hit that.
42
00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:27,709
This could have been
the whole episode right here, man.
43
00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:30,168
Delivery for AFKAK Crawford.
44
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,376
Wow. That's a big package.
45
00:02:32,459 --> 00:02:36,334
I like big packages and cum.
46
00:02:36,418 --> 00:02:37,918
Uh… What's in the crate?
47
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,084
Headphones.
48
00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:42,501
Ooh. Headphones, huh?
49
00:02:42,584 --> 00:02:45,709
Yeah, I-I'm taking the day off.
I gotta go fuck my headphones.
50
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:49,876
I'm so excited. Goop!
My diddy's finally coming home!
51
00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:54,418
Diddy? You mean your dad? I thought
he abandoned your family years ago.
52
00:02:54,501 --> 00:03:00,251
Oh no. He was just on a 20-year
secret spy mission, and it's finally over.
53
00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:05,168
Did I ever tell you that he personally
killed Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden?
54
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,501
He's the toughest man I know.
55
00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:10,209
Oh hey. My ears are burning
like cherries jubilee.
56
00:03:10,293 --> 00:03:12,584
Somebody gabbing about me?
57
00:03:12,668 --> 00:03:17,793
So, you killed Osama bin Laden
on a supersecret 20-year mission?
58
00:03:17,876 --> 00:03:19,251
Hell yeah, I did.
59
00:03:19,334 --> 00:03:23,126
All I do is kill bad guys and crush puss.
60
00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:25,376
Strawberry Marlow. Nice to meet you.
61
00:03:25,459 --> 00:03:27,501
What kind of name is Strawberry?
62
00:03:27,584 --> 00:03:29,584
Uh, the perfect name?
63
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:33,043
'Cause I leave my enemies
the same way I leave my puss.
64
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:35,293
Bloodred and covered in seed.
65
00:03:35,376 --> 00:03:37,918
Ooh! My Diddy is so brave!
66
00:03:38,001 --> 00:03:41,084
Hold on, son. What is up with your voice?
67
00:03:41,168 --> 00:03:44,251
Sounds like you got your bing-bongs
trapped in a honey jar.
68
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:47,918
I'm sorry I don't have
a gravelly man voice like you, Diddy.
69
00:03:48,543 --> 00:03:49,959
And what is this?
70
00:03:50,043 --> 00:03:53,418
A real man don't own no kitty cats!
71
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:55,834
He owns chinchillas!
72
00:03:55,918 --> 00:03:57,501
Come here, babies. Come here.
73
00:03:57,584 --> 00:04:01,043
You're tickling my neck now!
74
00:04:01,126 --> 00:04:02,876
Stop, Liza Chinelli!
75
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:04,793
And where the hell is your moustache?
76
00:04:04,876 --> 00:04:09,043
I'm sorry, Diddy. I'll grow a moustache
so I can be rough and tough just like you.
77
00:04:09,126 --> 00:04:12,043
Good. Now, I made lemon bars for everyone.
78
00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:16,293
Except you, Dusty. Maybe you get one
when you start acting like a man like me.
79
00:04:17,251 --> 00:04:18,334
Aw.
80
00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:20,168
Whoa. Shit!
81
00:04:20,251 --> 00:04:24,251
These lemon bars are so good, I'm starting
to think you really did kill bin Laden.
82
00:04:24,334 --> 00:04:26,959
Well, now, I can't take all the credit.
83
00:04:27,043 --> 00:04:30,334
I did have the help
of my Strawberry Action Squad.
84
00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:31,251
Hmm…
85
00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:34,001
Are the other
Strawberry Action Squad members like you?
86
00:04:34,084 --> 00:04:35,876
Not at all!
87
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:39,876
We got a robot, a giant talking squid,
a leprechaun made out of rocks,
88
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:42,501
a kung fu kangaroo,
Charles Bronson's ghost,
89
00:04:42,584 --> 00:04:44,751
Lenny the Laser Lizard, Johnny Pecs,
90
00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:48,001
Wilbur the Karate Wizard,
and there's Lieutenant Friskers.
91
00:04:48,084 --> 00:04:49,876
He's a radioactive werewolf.
92
00:04:49,959 --> 00:04:53,251
Now, that's the biggest crock
of horseshit I ever heard!
93
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:57,376
I mean, there's no way that package
Kevin went to fuck was headphones!
94
00:04:57,459 --> 00:04:59,626
Sorry, that's been bugging me
for, like, ten minutes.
95
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:02,709
Your story sounds legit.
Thank you for your service, sir.
96
00:05:04,793 --> 00:05:07,418
Fitz, this co-parenting thing is a breeze.
97
00:05:07,501 --> 00:05:12,168
Yeah. We agree on everything.
Like how family baths are not weird.
98
00:05:12,251 --> 00:05:15,293
And we can glance at each other's dicks,
but no staring. Cool.
99
00:05:15,376 --> 00:05:17,709
I was hoping
you'd bring up dicks.
100
00:05:17,793 --> 00:05:20,334
I scheduled Junior's circumcision
for tomorrow.
101
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:22,918
You what?
I'm totally against circumcision.
102
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,543
I-I can't believe you made the appointment
without even asking me.
103
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:26,876
What's wrong with circumcision?
104
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:28,543
Read this.
105
00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:31,334
Why do you carry a pamphlet
about the dangers of circumcision?
106
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:32,626
You know, for the tips.
107
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:34,751
Oh!
108
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,043
Get-- get, the tip?
109
00:05:37,126 --> 00:05:40,418
Oh, man.
110
00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:41,668
Whole episode.
111
00:05:41,751 --> 00:05:44,501
I didn't realize
you felt so strongly about it.
112
00:05:44,584 --> 00:05:47,459
I guess we don't have
to get Junior circumcised.
113
00:05:47,543 --> 00:05:49,168
Thank you for understanding.
114
00:05:49,251 --> 00:05:52,709
Now, I'm gonna go put Junior and his
beautiful, uncut pecker pouch to bed.
115
00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:55,251
You're not gonna listen
to that dog, are you?
116
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:58,293
A circumcised penis
is much easier to keep clean.
117
00:05:58,376 --> 00:06:01,543
And I'm less likely to contract HPV.
118
00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:10,376
Look at that fucked up dick!
119
00:06:10,459 --> 00:06:14,959
Looking like he should be in Peru,
sucking ants off a stick.
120
00:06:15,043 --> 00:06:17,418
Get outta here, High Fitz!
121
00:06:22,751 --> 00:06:24,251
Hi. I'm Stacey.
122
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:27,418
I am programmed for your pleasure.
What do you wanna do first?
123
00:06:27,501 --> 00:06:28,709
Lose my virginity?
124
00:06:31,376 --> 00:06:33,834
Have I got a treat for you.
125
00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:36,459
My Hero Academia Sexual Lubricant.
126
00:06:37,584 --> 00:06:39,334
Wow. That's… hot.
127
00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:42,001
You know what?
I'm a little tired from the trip.
128
00:06:42,084 --> 00:06:44,501
You're saying you don't wanna have sex?
129
00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:48,001
Of course I do.
That's literally my only function.
130
00:06:48,084 --> 00:06:50,209
I just wanna be in the right mood.
131
00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:53,084
Sure. We can do it in the morning.
132
00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,668
Rise and shine.
133
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,793
Ready for a little--
134
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,001
I've got a headache.
135
00:07:00,084 --> 00:07:02,126
Hey, babe. Ready for a nooner?
136
00:07:02,209 --> 00:07:05,293
Sorry. Sleeping. Snore. Snore.
137
00:07:05,376 --> 00:07:07,626
I know what'll put you in the mood.
138
00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:09,793
Star Wars sex toys.
139
00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,626
Darth Maul or Kylo Ren?
140
00:07:11,709 --> 00:07:14,084
Just pick one,
and I'll stick it right up my butt.
141
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,001
Oh. That's cool. But--
142
00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:17,959
You don't wanna blow up my Dirt Star?
143
00:07:18,043 --> 00:07:20,626
It's not you.
Uh… I'm on my period.
144
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:23,084
Sex dolls don't get their peri--
145
00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:26,001
Oh. So that's what was
in the ruby package.
146
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:30,501
Thanks for dropping me off
at the bus station.
147
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:32,918
Hey, uh, Nick.
You need any cash for bus fare?
148
00:07:33,001 --> 00:07:35,459
Uh, no. I don't need any cash for fare,
149
00:07:35,543 --> 00:07:38,668
because I live
in the bus station bathroom!
150
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:43,751
Randall, Elon will be here any minute.
Make sure there are no weirdos around.
151
00:07:45,793 --> 00:07:47,543
Hello, weirdo.
152
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:48,751
Glad I kept this.
153
00:07:49,543 --> 00:07:51,334
Better put on my bulletproof vest.
154
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:55,626
What the hell
is that stupid fucking truck?
155
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,293
Looks like you drove this thing
straight out of Halo 1.
156
00:07:58,376 --> 00:08:00,626
Looks like a rock monster
fucked a triangle.
157
00:08:00,709 --> 00:08:03,043
I hate this truck.
Makes me think about math.
158
00:08:03,126 --> 00:08:06,501
This truck makes me angry, but also sad
for you for not having a dick.
159
00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:09,293
Whatever. I'm cool. You're not. Ha ha.
160
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:10,876
You're under citizen's arrest,
161
00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:14,959
because some ass-faced douchebag
named Elon Musk is coming to town.
162
00:08:15,043 --> 00:08:17,126
Have Triple A tow this GoBot abortion
163
00:08:17,209 --> 00:08:19,668
back to whatever dimension
Max Headroom lives in.
164
00:08:22,918 --> 00:08:26,543
Ya ain't even going to ask
where I was for 20 years?
165
00:08:26,626 --> 00:08:29,293
Well, at least you ain't lost your figure.
166
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,251
Playing hard to get, huh?
167
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:36,001
You know that makes me stiffer
than Meemaw's peanut brittle. Crunch.
168
00:08:36,084 --> 00:08:37,043
Hello, Diddy.
169
00:08:37,126 --> 00:08:39,876
Check out my moustache!
170
00:08:39,959 --> 00:08:41,209
See, I went to the doctor
171
00:08:41,293 --> 00:08:44,876
and found out I had
a testosterone level of negative one.
172
00:08:44,959 --> 00:08:47,626
So the doctor shot me up with a bunch.
173
00:08:47,709 --> 00:08:50,668
Now I got this moustache, I got bacne,
174
00:08:50,751 --> 00:08:53,793
and these cute little,
teeny-weeny testicles.
175
00:08:55,376 --> 00:09:00,376
So I guess I can help myself to one
of your delicious-looking lemon bars.
176
00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:02,043
You call that a moustache?
177
00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:05,209
If you wanna impress me,
you'd be better off crushing some puss.
178
00:09:05,293 --> 00:09:06,918
'Cause that moustache ain't gonna do it.
179
00:09:07,001 --> 00:09:09,251
Your momma's got more hair on her asshole.
180
00:09:14,501 --> 00:09:16,334
Oh shit. She's dead as hell.
181
00:09:16,418 --> 00:09:17,584
Get the paddles!
182
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:19,501
Wake up, Momma, goddamn it!
183
00:09:21,418 --> 00:09:23,918
As much as I enjoyed
buying you that $400 dinner
184
00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:26,251
that's not biologically
possible for you to eat,
185
00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:29,126
do you think maybe
I could at least get a hand job now?
186
00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:31,668
I-I'll do all the work
since you can't move your hands.
187
00:09:31,751 --> 00:09:33,251
Oh, here we go.
188
00:09:33,334 --> 00:09:36,251
All you want from me is sex, sex, sex.
189
00:09:36,334 --> 00:09:38,459
You don't even care about what I want.
190
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,668
I care. What do you want?
191
00:09:40,751 --> 00:09:42,084
Thank you, AFKAK.
192
00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:46,584
I've always wanted to take online classes
to become a marine biologist.
193
00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:50,334
Fifteen thousand a semester
is nothing to keep my sex doll happy.
194
00:09:50,418 --> 00:09:52,459
So, do you think tonight we could--
195
00:09:52,543 --> 00:09:56,918
Sorry. I'm really stressed out
from school. Stress. Stress.
196
00:10:00,418 --> 00:10:02,334
Delivery for AFKAK Crawford.
197
00:10:03,918 --> 00:10:05,168
I didn't order this.
198
00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:06,418
Oh. He's for me.
199
00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:08,751
That's Chad. He's here to help me study.
200
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:10,793
-Sup, bro?
-Okay, Chad.
201
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:13,751
You and I better go up to the bedroom
so we can get to it.
202
00:10:15,043 --> 00:10:15,876
Oh.
203
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,876
Uh-huh. Well,
this dating profile should be easy.
204
00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:29,251
Interests. Puss and the crushing of puss,
205
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:31,793
shutting that puss down,
206
00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:34,543
annihilating that puss,
207
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:40,459
making that puss uninhabitable
for a thousand years,
208
00:10:40,543 --> 00:10:42,584
and feminism.
209
00:10:42,668 --> 00:10:47,084
Randall, you fucking idiot!
How could you arrest Elon Musk?
210
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,209
That jerk-off was Elon Musk?
211
00:10:49,293 --> 00:10:52,834
Well, why didn't you tell me
he was gonna be driving a GoBot abortion?
212
00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:55,668
I already used that one,
but you didn't hear it.
213
00:10:55,751 --> 00:10:57,376
Mr. Musk, I am so sorry
214
00:10:57,459 --> 00:11:00,001
your tour of Paradise got off
on the wrong foot.
215
00:11:00,084 --> 00:11:03,376
I really wanted you
to meet some of our fine citizens.
216
00:11:03,459 --> 00:11:05,334
Dobby Dobby. Hoo-ah!
217
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:08,084
I just hope this doesn't mean
that you're gonna leave town.
218
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,626
Of course not.
I'm not one to hold grudges.
219
00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:12,793
Breaking news.
220
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:16,084
Elon Musk tweets that from now on,
he's going to dedicate all of his time
221
00:11:16,168 --> 00:11:18,209
as well as all of Tesla's available cash
222
00:11:18,293 --> 00:11:20,751
to ruining the life of a small-town yokel.
223
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:23,293
And since we live
in a universe where nothing matters,
224
00:11:23,376 --> 00:11:26,043
Tesla stock is up 15%.
225
00:11:26,126 --> 00:11:30,126
Man, I love elevators.
Nothing ever goes wrong in elevators.
226
00:11:33,084 --> 00:11:35,709
Oh no! Your foreskin is stuck in the door!
227
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:38,376
Daddy! Help!
228
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,959
-Told ya.
-I guess I'm still dreaming.
229
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,376
I guess I'm having the same dream.
230
00:11:54,459 --> 00:11:57,001
I need to get a new agent.
231
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,584
You do one tsunami joke,
232
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:04,501
and you wind up in bed with a giant cock!
233
00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:09,876
So, what kind of cut do you want?
The buzz cut or the high-and-tight?
234
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:12,001
I don't know. Give him what you have.
235
00:12:12,084 --> 00:12:13,668
Ooh, fun. The Rachel.
236
00:12:13,751 --> 00:12:15,084
-Ah!
237
00:12:15,793 --> 00:12:16,626
There we are.
238
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:18,793
Uh, just so you know,
I've done thousands of these,
239
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:21,209
and I always dispose of them properly.
240
00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:23,126
Pee-yoop!
241
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:32,459
Pee-yoop. Pee-yoop. Pee-yoop.
242
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,418
Actually, can I have those?
Got a lot of McRibs to make.
243
00:12:39,543 --> 00:12:42,501
-Harder! Harder! I need the D!
244
00:12:42,584 --> 00:12:44,793
The D? She's been studying all day.
245
00:12:44,876 --> 00:12:46,709
You think she'd be aiming
for at least a B-plus.
246
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:49,626
I thought you study buddies
may need a snack.
247
00:12:49,709 --> 00:12:52,084
Oh. Your mouth's already
full of Chad's asshole.
248
00:12:52,918 --> 00:12:54,626
Wait a minute.
249
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:55,918
You're cheating on me?
250
00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:58,668
So that's why you asked me
to lay Chad on top of you.
251
00:12:58,751 --> 00:13:00,584
Not so he could see the book better.
252
00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:03,209
AFKAK, I'm going
through a phase right now.
253
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:07,084
You just need to give me a lot
of time alone with Chad to figure it out.
254
00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:11,918
Delivery for AFKAK Crawford.
255
00:13:14,209 --> 00:13:15,376
This isn't mine.
256
00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:17,376
Should have pulled me out, bro!
257
00:13:19,459 --> 00:13:23,334
Oh, this is perfect. Why do they have
to make The Family Circus mom so hot?
258
00:13:23,418 --> 00:13:24,918
Now I gotta shit with a boner.
259
00:13:26,709 --> 00:13:28,793
What the hell is Space Ten?
260
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:40,584
My dream
is to send a man into space
261
00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:43,084
on a toilet while shitting
262
00:13:43,168 --> 00:13:47,959
with an erection caused
by the hot mom from Family Circus.
263
00:13:48,043 --> 00:13:52,376
Not because it is easy,
but because it is hard.
264
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,334
Almost as hard as shitting with a boner.
265
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:02,959
One McRib, please.
266
00:14:07,168 --> 00:14:08,168
Mmm!
267
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:12,334
Wait a minute. This doesn't taste
like sawdust and foreskins!
268
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,251
How's your McRib, Randall?
269
00:14:14,334 --> 00:14:17,209
This ain't no McRib.
Musk, what have you done?
270
00:14:17,293 --> 00:14:18,209
Oh, nothing.
271
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:22,959
I just bought McDonald's and replaced
the McRib patties with real meat.
272
00:14:23,543 --> 00:14:26,084
No! You fucking maniac!
273
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,668
Morning, Brozoners.
274
00:14:29,751 --> 00:14:31,584
Anyone else feeling weird today?
275
00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:33,001
Musk!
276
00:14:33,084 --> 00:14:35,459
He switched my consciousness
with a squirrel!
277
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:39,709
There's my body. Get it!
278
00:14:39,793 --> 00:14:41,793
Bark! Uh, bark! Fuck. Bark!
279
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:46,168
No, no! Don't run him up a tree!
Now he's on the power line!
280
00:14:47,293 --> 00:14:51,043
Hey! Don't chew through the power line,
you stupid asshole!
281
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:54,001
Hey! I'm back.
282
00:14:54,084 --> 00:14:54,918
Oh fuck.
283
00:14:58,959 --> 00:15:02,168
Man. Thank God
this side table broke my fall.
284
00:15:05,293 --> 00:15:07,001
You wanted to see me?
285
00:15:07,084 --> 00:15:08,834
Yeah, to tell you that I give up.
286
00:15:08,918 --> 00:15:11,793
That squirrel you put in my body
really screwed me over.
287
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:13,584
-Ow!
288
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:16,293
What? I did not fuck your wife!
That was not me!
289
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,209
Right back at you, asshole.
290
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,376
And tell your bitch wife
thanks for the squirrel gonorrhea.
291
00:15:22,459 --> 00:15:24,001
Anyway.
292
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:26,084
You win, Elon. Shake on it?
293
00:15:27,418 --> 00:15:29,126
Ha ha! Joke's on you!
294
00:15:29,209 --> 00:15:32,626
'Cause right before you got here,
I peed all over my hand.
295
00:15:32,709 --> 00:15:34,668
How does that feel, Pee-lon?
296
00:15:38,126 --> 00:15:39,126
Randall Crawford.
297
00:15:39,209 --> 00:15:42,001
-How did you squirrels get this number?
298
00:15:42,084 --> 00:15:44,084
-You out of your mind?
299
00:15:44,168 --> 00:15:47,126
I'm not paying you three acorns a month
in child support.
300
00:15:47,209 --> 00:15:50,168
-Well, I'll see you in squirrel court!
301
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,084
Gah!
302
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:57,626
Where the hell are all my Franklin Mint
commemorative rooster plates?
303
00:15:57,709 --> 00:16:00,876
I swear, if Dusty chipped
one of those plates,
304
00:16:00,959 --> 00:16:03,793
I'll kick him right in his cute
little, teeny-weeny testicles!
305
00:16:03,876 --> 00:16:05,751
Diddy, meet my girlfriend.
306
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:11,126
I spent $10,000 on new clothes,
took hours of pickup artist classes,
307
00:16:11,209 --> 00:16:14,251
and when that didn't work,
I found a girl with no taste.
308
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:16,334
Or sight, hearing, smell, or touch.
309
00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:20,376
Well, she sure ain't like
the high-class tens that I pull.
310
00:16:21,751 --> 00:16:25,751
Goddamn! Are you shitting
in a Pringles can again?
311
00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:29,209
Anyway, Dusty,
did you at least crush her puss?
312
00:16:29,293 --> 00:16:31,251
Oh, I crushed way more than that.
313
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:35,043
Not impressed. No lemon bars for you.
314
00:16:35,126 --> 00:16:36,584
You ain't a tough man like your diddy
315
00:16:36,668 --> 00:16:39,501
till you go back in time
and kick a dinosaur's ass.
316
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,168
What? You ain't never done that.
317
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,918
How you think them bitches went extinct?
318
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,668
Oh shit. Bullet will be home any second.
319
00:16:48,751 --> 00:16:51,001
If he finds out
I had your schmeckle snipped,
320
00:16:51,084 --> 00:16:52,293
he's gonna kill me.
321
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:54,251
Well, maybe he won't notice.
322
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,168
Doggy Daddy's home!
323
00:16:56,251 --> 00:16:58,834
Now, get over here
and let Daddy sniff your ass and penis.
324
00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:03,334
Fitz, why is our son
wearing a bloody diaper?
325
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:06,001
Uh… The McRib is back?
326
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:08,126
Whatever. Take it off.
It's family bath time.
327
00:17:08,209 --> 00:17:11,001
Bullet, why don't the two of us
do family bath time tonight
328
00:17:11,084 --> 00:17:12,876
and leave Junior out of it?
329
00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:16,543
Two grown men in a bath
without a small boy? That'd be weird.
330
00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:22,168
What the fuck is this?
You got him circumcised behind my back!
331
00:17:22,251 --> 00:17:26,043
Now, Bullet, I-I know it was wrong,
but I had a good reason.
332
00:17:26,126 --> 00:17:27,459
I had a scary dream.
333
00:17:27,543 --> 00:17:29,126
Look at what you've done, Fitz.
334
00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:31,251
Now his lipstick
won't even go back in the tube.
335
00:17:31,334 --> 00:17:34,043
Looks like a melted red crayon
peeking out of a half-eaten cannoli.
336
00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:37,126
You're right, Bullet.
Shit looks like red Hulk in a turtleneck.
337
00:17:37,209 --> 00:17:39,834
I shouldn't have gone behind your back.
How can I make this right?
338
00:17:39,918 --> 00:17:42,834
We're going to get my son's foreskin back.
339
00:17:45,959 --> 00:17:48,876
-Look, Bullet. A free can of Pringles.
340
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,251
Oh my God!
341
00:17:52,126 --> 00:17:53,876
Focus, for Christ's sake.
342
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:56,084
Junior's foreskin
has to be here somewhere.
343
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:03,543
Oh, there it is. On top
of that monster made out of foreskins.
344
00:18:10,709 --> 00:18:12,751
I told you this was gonna happen.
345
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,918
What? No, you did not!
346
00:18:18,751 --> 00:18:20,251
Well, I'll be damned.
347
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:22,626
Here, monster! Free Pringles!
348
00:18:25,501 --> 00:18:27,918
Oh my God!
349
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:41,293
Stacey, could you maybe
take a shift with your baby?
350
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:42,834
I've been up all night with him.
351
00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:45,959
Sorry.
We're studying so hard in here.
352
00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:51,376
Delivery for AFKAK Crawford.
353
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:57,834
We're Stacey's parents.
354
00:18:57,918 --> 00:19:01,043
We're moving in
to spend time with our grandbaby.
355
00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:02,876
Okay.
356
00:19:05,168 --> 00:19:07,209
You are insatiable!
357
00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:08,918
And I fucking dig it.
358
00:19:15,084 --> 00:19:16,668
Please don't kill us!
359
00:19:17,459 --> 00:19:22,334
Whoa! I'm offended you'd assume
I'm that kind of foreskin monster.
360
00:19:22,418 --> 00:19:25,668
Uh, all right. Take it easy.
We didn't mean anything by it.
361
00:19:25,751 --> 00:19:27,584
Sorry, I'm very sensitive.
362
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:30,584
Gross.
363
00:19:30,668 --> 00:19:32,376
So why'd you chase us?
364
00:19:32,459 --> 00:19:36,168
Are you here to teach us a lesson
about the dangers of circumcision?
365
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,584
Heck no!
366
00:19:37,668 --> 00:19:40,834
I'm here to tell you
about the benefits of…
367
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:42,918
Herbalife.
368
00:19:43,001 --> 00:19:47,918
The highest quality supplements
on earth not approved by the FDA.
369
00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:51,043
I'm offering you
the once-in-a-lifetime chance
370
00:19:51,126 --> 00:19:54,251
to become Diamond-Level
Herbalife distributors.
371
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:56,626
How successful could you be?
Well, look at me.
372
00:19:57,376 --> 00:20:01,043
This Toyota Celica
didn't buy its fucking self.
373
00:20:01,126 --> 00:20:04,459
If a foreskin monster
can make scratch like this,
374
00:20:04,543 --> 00:20:06,209
imagine what you could do.
375
00:20:06,293 --> 00:20:10,584
So the question is,
are you ready to say yes to success?
376
00:20:11,918 --> 00:20:14,084
See? This is why I'm against circumcision.
377
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:21,209
What are you doing, Dusty?
378
00:20:21,293 --> 00:20:22,168
Oh hey, Hopson.
379
00:20:22,251 --> 00:20:23,626
I'm just building a time machine
380
00:20:23,709 --> 00:20:26,584
so I can kick a dinosaur's ass
just like my diddy did.
381
00:20:26,668 --> 00:20:30,001
I'm just a cum-loving old man,
382
00:20:30,084 --> 00:20:36,418
but to me, it seems like
your dad may be full of shit.
383
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:40,751
How dare you!
My diddy is as honest as he is tough!
384
00:20:40,834 --> 00:20:44,293
Now, get lost, Hopson.
I'm doing quantum physics here.
385
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:48,376
Run faster, you little bitch!
I need me 1.21 gerbil-watts!
386
00:20:48,459 --> 00:20:52,001
The hell did you do to Elon Musk?
He won't come out of his Cybertruck.
387
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,043
He-- he's just sitting in there crying.
388
00:20:57,126 --> 00:20:58,918
You have to go and apologize.
389
00:20:59,001 --> 00:21:01,334
Maybe he should be
the one apologizing to me.
390
00:21:01,418 --> 00:21:04,626
I had to go to squirrel court
this morning, and it did not go well.
391
00:21:05,959 --> 00:21:10,418
Four acorns a month?
Are you crazy? Winter is coming.
392
00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:18,251
Don't worry about that.
Happens, like, every time.
393
00:21:18,334 --> 00:21:21,626
Hey, my wife's making me apologize
for calling you Pee-lon
394
00:21:21,709 --> 00:21:24,918
even though it was funny
as fuck, so, I'm sorry.
395
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:26,834
You're not such a bad guy.
396
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,126
For a pedo.
397
00:21:28,209 --> 00:21:29,709
What did you say?
398
00:21:29,793 --> 00:21:31,751
Pedo! Pedo! Pedo! Pedo!
399
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,376
I am about to kick your weird little ass!
400
00:21:37,501 --> 00:21:38,418
Uncool.
401
00:21:38,501 --> 00:21:43,126
I think I'll show you one
of the special features of the Cybertruck.
402
00:21:57,084 --> 00:22:00,834
I am Iron Musk! It's pretty cool!
403
00:22:00,918 --> 00:22:02,043
Oh shit.
404
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:15,876
-Squirrel Judge!
405
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:17,584
No!
406
00:22:30,668 --> 00:22:31,668
Stacey,
407
00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:35,876
it's nice that all of your and Chad's
extended families decided to move in,
408
00:22:35,959 --> 00:22:37,959
but my apartment's getting
a little cramped.
409
00:22:39,834 --> 00:22:41,876
I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
410
00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:45,001
Honestly, it is a little weird
that you're here with my family.
411
00:22:45,084 --> 00:22:48,209
I think it would be best if you moved out,
but continued to pay the rent.
412
00:22:48,293 --> 00:22:52,293
You're right. I didn't mean
to intrude on your life. I'll go.
413
00:22:53,293 --> 00:22:56,001
Before I go,
can I have sex with any of you?
414
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,709
We're on our periods!
415
00:23:00,918 --> 00:23:02,293
Oh, isn't this nice?
416
00:23:02,376 --> 00:23:05,376
And you didn't want me
to cut you out of the house.
417
00:23:19,793 --> 00:23:20,709
Diddy, I did it!
418
00:23:20,793 --> 00:23:24,043
Dusty, I am blown away
that you went back in time.
419
00:23:24,126 --> 00:23:27,793
To fight the most
pussy-ass dinosaur ever!
420
00:23:27,876 --> 00:23:32,168
I would have fought one of them
Indominus rexes from Jurassic Park World.
421
00:23:32,251 --> 00:23:34,501
I guess you ain't never getting
no lemon bar.
422
00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:40,209
-I think I will have some lemon bars!
423
00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:46,001
Ooh! Hey, look!
424
00:23:46,084 --> 00:23:48,751
I found your goddamn
twat-sucking rooster plates
425
00:23:48,834 --> 00:23:50,918
that you love more than me,
you little asshole!
426
00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:56,501
Okay, you're right, son!
427
00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:58,709
I am a asshole.
428
00:23:58,793 --> 00:24:02,751
You know, I've been putting you down
to make up for my own insecurities.
429
00:24:02,834 --> 00:24:06,501
Takes a real tough man
to stand up to his diddy like that.
430
00:24:06,584 --> 00:24:07,751
That's all I wanted.
431
00:24:07,834 --> 00:24:11,334
Well, that and them lemon bars,
but I already ate the shit out of them.
432
00:24:11,418 --> 00:24:14,793
You think one day I could be
in the Strawberry Action Squad with you
433
00:24:14,876 --> 00:24:17,418
and the talking squid
and that radioactive werewolf?
434
00:24:17,501 --> 00:24:22,126
Son, I have to tell you something.
I haven't been completely honest with you.
435
00:24:23,501 --> 00:24:25,001
This moustache is fake.
436
00:24:32,751 --> 00:24:34,626
Special Sergeant Strawberry!
437
00:24:34,709 --> 00:24:39,626
We need you for another 20-year mission
of killing bad guys and crushing puss!
438
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:43,334
Well, my country needs me, son.
439
00:24:54,418 --> 00:24:57,584
You are one petty asshole. You know that?
440
00:24:57,668 --> 00:24:59,709
Oh yeah? So are you.
441
00:24:59,793 --> 00:25:02,168
Really? Well, maybe
it's 'cause I'm insecure.
442
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:04,626
Maybe that's my problem too!
443
00:25:04,709 --> 00:25:08,459
Maybe, deep down inside, I hate myself.
444
00:25:09,043 --> 00:25:11,126
Maybe I hate myself too.
445
00:25:17,168 --> 00:25:19,584
You're watching footage
of Elon Musk hate-fucking
446
00:25:19,668 --> 00:25:23,084
what appears to be Rob Riggle
in the middle of a crowded street.
447
00:25:23,168 --> 00:25:24,918
And Tesla stock plummeted.
448
00:25:25,001 --> 00:25:27,001
In a dimension where things make sense.
449
00:25:27,084 --> 00:25:31,959
But in our upside-down shit world,
Tesla stock is at an all-time high.