1
00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:16,251
Sorry, Mr. Lovely is running late.
2
00:00:16,334 --> 00:00:19,459
He likes to appear suddenly
and give me a mini heart attack.
3
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:22,959
He's so mysterious.
Tell me more about Charles Lovely.
4
00:00:23,043 --> 00:00:26,001
Well, I met him last year at a job fair,
5
00:00:26,084 --> 00:00:28,501
but I feel like I've known him longer,
6
00:00:28,584 --> 00:00:31,918
because he's been appearing
in my nightmares since I was three.
7
00:00:32,001 --> 00:00:33,043
What else? Uh…
8
00:00:33,126 --> 00:00:37,626
It always gets about five degrees colder
when he enters a room.
9
00:00:37,709 --> 00:00:41,459
I've never seen him eat.
I think he feeds on negative emotions.
10
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:43,626
Oh! This is a funny tidbit.
11
00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:47,418
If you maintain more than five seconds
of eye contact with him,
12
00:00:47,501 --> 00:00:49,459
you'll go insane for a week.
13
00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:53,043
But not necessarily this week.
14
00:00:53,126 --> 00:00:54,126
Hmm?
15
00:00:54,209 --> 00:00:55,626
He's, uh…
16
00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:57,751
-Here.
17
00:00:57,834 --> 00:01:01,543
Good to see you,
Karen Crawford of Paradise.
18
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:05,459
Blood type O-negative,
born April 2nd, 1969,
19
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,751
shall die June 24, 2042.
20
00:01:09,293 --> 00:01:10,626
Wait, what?
21
00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:15,001
I desire to move my company
to Paradise immediately!
22
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,959
This is the location
23
00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:20,668
where I must construct
Lovely Corp headquarters.
24
00:01:21,876 --> 00:01:25,168
Robby and Delbert's house
is on that land.
25
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,418
Just a heads-up, they can be difficult.
26
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,584
Like, North Florida difficult.
27
00:01:29,668 --> 00:01:32,043
It will not be a problem.
28
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,709
It is settled then.
29
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:36,709
Paradise is the new home of Lovely Corp.
30
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:40,751
You just need to sign
a standard basic contract.
31
00:01:43,626 --> 00:01:46,334
It'll take me, like, a month to read this.
32
00:01:46,418 --> 00:01:49,043
Lucky for you,
I like surprises. Where do I sign?
33
00:01:49,126 --> 00:01:49,959
Wait!
34
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:55,168
Mr. Lovely requires all his contracts
be signed with the blood of a virgin.
35
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:01,084
This one's fresh
from his YMCA membership agreement.
36
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,584
Don't worry. It won't hurt ya--
37
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:18,418
And that's how you handle the paper work.
38
00:02:18,918 --> 00:02:22,876
Oh. There's a connect-the-dots
on the place mat.
39
00:02:35,959 --> 00:02:37,376
What'd you tell that Lovely feller
40
00:02:37,459 --> 00:02:39,543
that came around wanting
to buy our house off-camera?
41
00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:43,543
I told that son of a bitch
to floss his teeth with my skinny peter.
42
00:02:43,626 --> 00:02:45,834
It was really funny.
I wish somebody could've seen it.
43
00:02:45,918 --> 00:02:47,626
Anyway. I can't sell this place.
44
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,626
This crack house has been
in my family for generations.
45
00:02:50,709 --> 00:02:52,876
-Two years?
-Yeah, we don't live that long.
46
00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,584
What do you want for breakfast, Robby?
47
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:57,709
Same as every morning.
A crack rock and a Go-Gurt.
48
00:02:57,793 --> 00:02:59,376
We're out of crack, Robby.
49
00:02:59,459 --> 00:03:02,084
Damn it, Delbert! How am I supposed
to know we're out of crack
50
00:03:02,168 --> 00:03:04,668
if you put the empty crack box
back in the cabinet?
51
00:03:05,376 --> 00:03:06,501
Where you going?
52
00:03:06,584 --> 00:03:07,709
Out to buy some crack.
53
00:03:07,793 --> 00:03:10,709
'Cause somebody didn't put it
on the shopping list.
54
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:17,959
What are you doing out here?
55
00:03:18,043 --> 00:03:20,459
I'm just going outside
to buy some breakfast crack.
56
00:03:20,543 --> 00:03:24,126
Only employees are allowed in the lobby.
57
00:03:26,543 --> 00:03:27,876
What are we gonna do, Robby?
58
00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:31,293
We can't cross the lobby to go buy crack
unless we work for this company.
59
00:03:31,376 --> 00:03:34,334
We about to do the unthinkable, Delbert.
60
00:03:34,418 --> 00:03:35,751
Get jobs.
61
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:38,001
Is this gonna be
some kind of loony adventure?
62
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:39,001
I doubt it.
63
00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:43,543
Welcome to Lovely Corp.
64
00:03:43,626 --> 00:03:48,709
Our company has hundreds of divisions
and produces a wide variety of products.
65
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:51,334
Like the Lovely Phone.
66
00:03:51,418 --> 00:03:53,959
Which are yours for free!
67
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:57,834
Free samples? Just like Costco!
68
00:03:57,918 --> 00:03:59,626
Too bad I got banned from Costco
69
00:03:59,709 --> 00:04:02,126
'cause I got too excited
and ate a whole tray.
70
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:03,709
That seems like an overreaction.
71
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:07,251
Try telling that to Tray's wife.
'Cause she's a single mother now.
72
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:12,168
Just scroll to the bottom on your phone
and click yes on the user agreement.
73
00:04:12,834 --> 00:04:15,001
-Ow! It cut me!
74
00:04:15,084 --> 00:04:17,168
It's just collecting a little DNA.
75
00:04:17,251 --> 00:04:20,751
You know, I do the same thing
in the bathroom at the Elks Lodge.
76
00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:22,918
I thought Charles Lovely would be here.
77
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,626
Oh, he's here.
He's watching us from that painting.
78
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:31,459
Mr. Lovely is a big fan
of Scooby-Doo gags.
79
00:04:31,543 --> 00:04:33,709
That's why he makes me wear this.
80
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:37,834
He has also requested
that you join him for dinner tonight
81
00:04:37,918 --> 00:04:42,334
so he can meet your family,
and you can meet his fiancée.
82
00:04:42,418 --> 00:04:43,751
Tonight? Eugh.
83
00:04:43,834 --> 00:04:47,168
A little late to pull together a family
I'm not embarrassed of, so…
84
00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:48,501
What are you talking about?
85
00:04:48,584 --> 00:04:52,043
I was the life of the party
the last time you had an important event.
86
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:54,876
Oh, fuck you, Karen.
Your dad would have loved this.
87
00:04:56,043 --> 00:05:00,334
Hey, guys? Feels like that painting
is following me around the room.
88
00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:04,376
This is our shipping department.
89
00:05:04,459 --> 00:05:07,918
We ship any size product
with same-day delivery.
90
00:05:08,001 --> 00:05:09,501
You ship any size?
91
00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:12,209
Looks like somebody just got out
of walking two blocks
92
00:05:12,293 --> 00:05:13,793
back to his apartment.
93
00:05:19,876 --> 00:05:23,709
Goop! They even got free Pirate Booty
in case I get hungry.
94
00:05:26,918 --> 00:05:29,084
Mmm. Mmm.
95
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:30,751
Tastes bitter for some reason.
96
00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:36,293
This is our Lovely
Virtual Reality department.
97
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:38,543
Oh, cool! I wanna check that out.
98
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:44,918
This is Lovely VR,
the most realistic experience imaginable.
99
00:05:45,001 --> 00:05:47,501
It scans your memories
and recreates your world--
100
00:05:47,584 --> 00:05:48,751
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
101
00:05:53,751 --> 00:05:57,126
Hey! That could be dangerous!
It's experimental!
102
00:05:57,209 --> 00:06:00,084
Oh, I stuck my dick
in a warm can of ravioli last night.
103
00:06:00,168 --> 00:06:01,793
I'm not afraid to experiment.
104
00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,501
Can you leave now?
105
00:06:03,584 --> 00:06:07,209
Here are your clones we made
from the DNA your phone collected.
106
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:10,834
Aw. Mine's got my little moustache.
107
00:06:10,918 --> 00:06:13,376
Aw, and your little dick too.
108
00:06:13,459 --> 00:06:14,918
Go fuck yourself, Hopson!
109
00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:16,293
Don't mind if I do.
110
00:06:21,918 --> 00:06:23,626
Why the long face, AFKAK?
111
00:06:23,709 --> 00:06:27,751
I was excited to try Lovely VR
and escape my shitty life,
112
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:28,793
but they won't let me.
113
00:06:28,876 --> 00:06:31,668
I actually stole one
of those Lovely VR headsets,
114
00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:34,293
and I'll give it to you
if you help us fill out our résumé.
115
00:06:34,376 --> 00:06:35,793
We got stuck on this question.
116
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:39,334
Name? You guys don't know
how to spell your own names?
117
00:06:39,418 --> 00:06:42,293
Well, I know the alphabet song
my meemaw taught me.
118
00:06:48,918 --> 00:06:51,043
What if I just buy the VR headset?
119
00:06:51,126 --> 00:06:52,959
Okay. $300 sound fair?
120
00:06:56,043 --> 00:06:58,793
Oh, wow! It's so realistic!
121
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,626
Oh, yeah, yeah. Y-You're in the game now.
122
00:07:01,709 --> 00:07:03,209
I-I'm not even real.
123
00:07:03,293 --> 00:07:06,168
Call me VR, 'cause I'm Virtual Robby.
124
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,668
Call me VD, 'cause I got VD.
125
00:07:09,168 --> 00:07:11,459
I'm having dinner
with a billionaire tonight,
126
00:07:11,543 --> 00:07:13,084
so I need to look my best.
127
00:07:13,168 --> 00:07:15,126
Turn around, please.
128
00:07:15,209 --> 00:07:16,876
Stop. Where is it?
129
00:07:16,959 --> 00:07:18,501
-Where's what?
-Your ass.
130
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:20,334
I thought it looked okay.
131
00:07:21,543 --> 00:07:23,668
Your ass looks like a flyover state.
132
00:07:23,751 --> 00:07:26,376
Flat, poor, and I don't wanna be in it.
133
00:07:26,459 --> 00:07:28,251
Get out of my store, you no-ass freak!
134
00:07:29,626 --> 00:07:32,168
What kinda tailor are you?!
135
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:37,376
Mean Because My Dad
Didn't Love Me Clothing.
136
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:39,626
No. We don't carry size XL.
137
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,168
Because we outfit humans,
not whales. Fuck off!
138
00:07:45,876 --> 00:07:48,459
So what do you two bring to the table?
139
00:07:48,543 --> 00:07:49,376
Let's see.
140
00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:53,209
Pills, half a chili dog, some toenails.
141
00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:54,876
I've got a dead Gila monster.
142
00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:58,459
Let's just take a look at your sad résumé.
143
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:03,001
Oh. Says here you each have
a master's from Cal Fullerton.
144
00:08:03,084 --> 00:08:06,459
No. We have a master named Cal Fullerton.
145
00:08:06,543 --> 00:08:09,876
He's a dominatrix who comes to our house
and makes us do S&M stuff.
146
00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:11,418
Yeah, Cal's scary, man.
147
00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:15,001
He makes me load up my piss hole
with Redenbacher corn kernels
148
00:08:15,084 --> 00:08:17,751
and heats up my sack
with a blowtorch till it pops.
149
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,918
Then I run around ejaculating popcorn
150
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,876
while Delbert tries
to catch them in his mouth.
151
00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:23,251
Cal calls that one "movie night."
152
00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:25,376
I don't know
why we keep inviting him over.
153
00:08:25,459 --> 00:08:29,209
To be honest,
I've never seen two worse applicants.
154
00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:32,376
You have no experience, no education,
155
00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:35,459
and you have several open sores
on your faces.
156
00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:39,709
But you're both white men,
so you're obviously hired.
157
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:42,501
Ah! Commentary.
158
00:08:45,084 --> 00:08:48,834
Thank you for agreeing
to come down and ID your son's body.
159
00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:50,584
I know this isn't easy.
160
00:08:53,709 --> 00:08:56,584
I told Cal Fullerton
he was getting too rough.
161
00:08:59,626 --> 00:09:03,793
Hey, Mort. I need an outfit for a shindig.
You got this shirt in an XL?
162
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,709
Check the bottom left drawer.
163
00:09:09,043 --> 00:09:11,209
Score! Free belt too.
164
00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:14,043
Here's your son. Sorry about the mix-up.
165
00:09:14,126 --> 00:09:14,959
That's him.
166
00:09:15,584 --> 00:09:18,126
I guess my grandchildren
will grow up without a father.
167
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,043
Whoa! Nice jeans!
168
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:24,501
Look how good his ass looks.
169
00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:27,084
You know what?
These jeans are important evidence.
170
00:09:27,168 --> 00:09:28,543
Uh… I used to be a cop.
171
00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:32,001
This is insane!
I'm not gonna let you desecrate--
172
00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:36,709
Wow! Your ass looks great in those.
173
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,334
Now my son's not the only one
who's getting stiff.
174
00:09:39,418 --> 00:09:42,626
Is this drain just for blood,
or can I wring my panties out in it?
175
00:10:01,543 --> 00:10:03,168
This VR is incredible.
176
00:10:03,251 --> 00:10:06,209
I can do whatever I want,
and there are no consequences.
177
00:10:06,293 --> 00:10:09,584
Eleven items in the express lane!
I'm so bad.
178
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:10,751
Sir, you can't do that.
179
00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:12,334
Can I do this?
180
00:10:14,668 --> 00:10:16,584
Yoink.
181
00:10:16,668 --> 00:10:18,001
This game is fun!
182
00:10:29,043 --> 00:10:30,126
This is bullshit.
183
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:34,501
How they gone call this a male room,
and there ain't no sexy hot males in here?
184
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:36,751
Holy shit. A 90-inch TV.
185
00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:40,793
Hey, get rid of that.
186
00:10:41,918 --> 00:10:48,459
"Ship to Robby in the lobby."
187
00:10:51,209 --> 00:10:53,959
Phew! Man, I'm bushed.
That was a hard day's work.
188
00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:56,293
Hey, Robby. I wonder what this is for.
189
00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:58,209
Oh, I know exactly what it's for.
190
00:11:02,668 --> 00:11:04,001
Turn it off! Turn it off!
191
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,418
Are you the one that stuck his tallywacker
into the pneumatic vacuum?
192
00:11:13,459 --> 00:11:14,501
No.
193
00:11:14,584 --> 00:11:16,334
Don't be modest!
194
00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:18,876
That's what I call a power move.
195
00:11:18,959 --> 00:11:22,001
Richard Branson
starts every day like that.
196
00:11:22,084 --> 00:11:24,793
You two are getting a huge promotion!
197
00:11:24,876 --> 00:11:26,918
You're giving them a promotion for that?
198
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:29,376
I've been with this company for ten years!
199
00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:31,584
And not once in those ten years
200
00:11:31,668 --> 00:11:34,834
have you thought
to put your dick up the tube.
201
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:49,251
Randall!
Can you help feed the baby?
202
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,543
Hell no, Karen.
203
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:53,168
I ain't gonna mess up
my new Jordache jeans.
204
00:11:53,251 --> 00:11:56,751
What do you mean, "Hell no"?
I should kick your--
205
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:04,626
Ass! Big, juicy ass!
206
00:12:04,709 --> 00:12:08,501
Hey. Don't touch me, Karen.
These jeans are perfect and dick-tight.
207
00:12:08,584 --> 00:12:11,126
If I get a boner,
I'll stretch out the front and ruin 'em.
208
00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:15,668
I don't care how you got that ass,
but it is beggin' for a peggin'.
209
00:12:18,751 --> 00:12:20,584
Well, you ruined this for me.
210
00:12:20,668 --> 00:12:22,209
I'm just gonna watch TV.
211
00:12:23,459 --> 00:12:27,334
No! Ever since I was a little kid,
Count Chocula has given me boners!
212
00:12:27,418 --> 00:12:30,209
How are we supposed to keep track
of what gives you a boner?
213
00:12:30,293 --> 00:12:31,584
Well, I made you a list.
214
00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:35,168
One, all breakfast cereal mascots.
215
00:12:35,251 --> 00:12:37,543
Two, Mexican Pizza from Taco Bell.
216
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,376
Three, dogs dressed as fish.
217
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,293
Four, Lou Ferrigno in full Hulk makeup.
218
00:12:42,376 --> 00:12:44,418
Ugh. This is fucking stupid.
219
00:12:45,459 --> 00:12:49,001
Gingers calling me stupid.
That's number 72!
220
00:13:07,543 --> 00:13:10,251
The kick is good! Swish!
221
00:13:10,334 --> 00:13:12,293
Kevin! You did this?!
222
00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:15,084
I thought Don Jr. was trying
to get his dad's attention again.
223
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:17,626
None of this is real. Not even you.
224
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,668
It wouldn't matter
if I killed you too, or-- or did this.
225
00:13:23,584 --> 00:13:24,918
What the fuck?!
226
00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:26,751
How did you not get any on him?
227
00:13:27,668 --> 00:13:29,168
It's all a game. See?
228
00:13:33,168 --> 00:13:36,334
This is good VR. E-Even the pain is real.
229
00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:37,876
This ain't a game, you maniac!
230
00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:40,251
You're wearing a damn snorkel mask!
231
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:43,209
What? You mean I--
I really killed those people?
232
00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:44,751
And wood-chipped the baby?
233
00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:47,626
A-And pulled out
the poor old lady's boobies?
234
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,876
And jerked off my cousin Pierre.
235
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:50,876
Sorry, Pierre.
236
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:53,376
It is cool. I am European.
237
00:13:53,459 --> 00:13:56,293
A hand job is how we say bonjour.
238
00:13:59,001 --> 00:14:04,959
Oh! Oh! Ron Perlman
finally get his 90-inch TV.
239
00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:10,376
If they shipped me fat man
by mistake, me club him to death.
240
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:16,001
Hey.
241
00:14:16,084 --> 00:14:19,126
This definitely real TV.
242
00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:23,293
Unga bunga! This thing heavy!
243
00:14:26,501 --> 00:14:29,126
Let's see what on news.
244
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:31,709
Hello. This is CNNN
with some breaking news.
245
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:33,084
I'm Connie Chung.
246
00:14:33,168 --> 00:14:36,543
You know, it just came in
that watching TV can be deadly
247
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,251
to ugly sumbitches with protruding brows,
248
00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:42,334
significant underbites,
and close-set eyes.
249
00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:47,043
If you match that description,
go to another room so the TV can escape.
250
00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:51,251
Oh. Good thing Ron Perlman
handsome Hollywood actor,
251
00:14:51,334 --> 00:14:55,376
so Ron stay here and watch TV all day.
252
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,709
Fuck.
253
00:14:56,793 --> 00:15:00,876
Unga bunga. Let's see what on NBC.
254
00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:05,876
He-hey!
It's me, Bill Cosby, with The Cosby Show.
255
00:15:05,959 --> 00:15:07,293
Jism, blasm.
256
00:15:07,376 --> 00:15:09,418
I'm a rapist, but you see,
257
00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:12,751
but you don't know that yet,
'cause this is the reruns.
258
00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,376
Blasm, jisms, uh…
259
00:15:14,459 --> 00:15:16,834
Oh. TV look a little off.
260
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:21,001
Perlman better adjust contrast. Oh! Oh!
261
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:32,501
What's wrong with the boss?
262
00:15:32,584 --> 00:15:35,293
Ah, he's been like that since somebody
stole his magic Jordache jeans
263
00:15:35,376 --> 00:15:36,709
that made his booty pop.
264
00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:39,043
He's really insecure about his ass.
265
00:15:39,126 --> 00:15:40,709
Boss, cheer up.
266
00:15:40,793 --> 00:15:41,876
Cheer up?
267
00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:45,751
The only reason I got the respect
of the five families
268
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:48,751
was my thick dumpster-truck ass.
269
00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:53,709
But without my Jordache jeans,
I got a butt like a skinny white girl.
270
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:55,334
You know what they're gonna do
271
00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:58,334
when they see
that I ain't got no junk in the trunk?
272
00:15:58,418 --> 00:16:00,376
That I ain't got no sugar lumps?
273
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,501
That I ain't got gaba-glutes?
274
00:16:03,084 --> 00:16:04,459
They're gonna tease me.
275
00:16:04,959 --> 00:16:07,376
Sir, we have a dress code.
276
00:16:08,459 --> 00:16:10,918
Can I offer you some house pants?
277
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:12,084
Listen, you little prick!
278
00:16:12,168 --> 00:16:15,168
I'm not wearing any pants
till I find my Jordache jeans!
279
00:16:16,668 --> 00:16:17,793
Boss, look!
280
00:16:19,209 --> 00:16:21,334
My Jordache jeans! Grab him!
281
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:23,834
Hey!
282
00:16:25,126 --> 00:16:27,751
Yous got one chance
to get outta here alive.
283
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,793
Give me those pants right now.
284
00:16:29,876 --> 00:16:31,668
Hold on, hold on. Let me think.
285
00:16:31,751 --> 00:16:33,168
Hmm… Fuck off.
286
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:34,834
Let me shoot him, boss.
287
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:36,334
No! You might hit the pants!
288
00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:37,876
Then I'll cut his throat.
289
00:16:37,959 --> 00:16:42,334
And have his blood drip down
all over my pants? Use your fucking head!
290
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:43,459
Let's choke him.
291
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:46,959
I don't know, boss. Every time
I get choked, I shit my pants.
292
00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:48,376
What if we gas him?
293
00:16:48,459 --> 00:16:50,418
Eesh. I don't know about that.
294
00:16:50,501 --> 00:16:52,751
Every time I get gassed, I shit my pants.
295
00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,251
My fucking dentist hates me.
296
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,251
Looks like you guys can't touch me.
297
00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:59,918
Even if I said something
like your boss has a flat ass.
298
00:17:00,001 --> 00:17:01,251
Oh!
299
00:17:01,334 --> 00:17:05,334
His ass is so flat,
Kyrie Irving thinks it's the Earth.
300
00:17:05,418 --> 00:17:07,126
Oh!
301
00:17:07,209 --> 00:17:11,126
His ass is so flat,
Matt Gaetz might ask him for nudes.
302
00:17:11,209 --> 00:17:12,876
Oh!
303
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:40,084
Happy birthday!
304
00:17:40,168 --> 00:17:43,584
Uh, yes, is this the estate
of "Macho Man" Randy Savage?
305
00:17:43,668 --> 00:17:44,626
Oh, nice. Okay.
306
00:17:44,709 --> 00:17:47,209
I'm the Head of Acquisitions
here at Lovely Corp.
307
00:17:47,293 --> 00:17:51,001
I want to acquire the bones
of Mr. "Macho Man" Randy Savage.
308
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:55,001
Why? Because we gonna do a little
unholy ceremony to reanimate his body.
309
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:56,168
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
310
00:17:56,251 --> 00:17:58,209
Yes, I'm high on cocaine. Why?
311
00:17:58,293 --> 00:18:00,918
Can I go with y'all?
I feel like I'm a misfit too.
312
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,751
Delbert, who the hell are you talking to?
313
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:05,043
Rudolph, Hermey the Dentist, and…
314
00:18:05,126 --> 00:18:07,001
Shit. They were just here.
315
00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:11,834
Let's see what on guide.
316
00:18:14,084 --> 00:18:17,418
Me check out History Channel.
317
00:18:17,501 --> 00:18:21,668
Oh shit. Hey, I'm historical figure
named… Adolf Hitler.
318
00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:23,418
I invented mac and cheese,
319
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:26,043
and I went to the Moon,
and I wrote the Bible.
320
00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:30,376
Which my son, Abraham Lincoln,
well, he was a Japanese ice-road trucker
321
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:33,001
that wrote the movie Porky's Revenge!
322
00:18:33,084 --> 00:18:36,293
Who say TV not educational?
323
00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:41,251
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Sons of Anarchy on! Unga bunga!
324
00:18:42,459 --> 00:18:44,043
Vroom! Vroom!
325
00:18:44,126 --> 00:18:48,543
I'm Ron Perlman.
I'm a big, caveman-looking sumbitch.
326
00:18:48,626 --> 00:18:51,209
Unga bunga! I like motorcycles!
327
00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:53,418
The writing was so good.
328
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:01,376
Karen, you ain't gonna believe this one.
These mobsters wanted my pants.
329
00:19:01,459 --> 00:19:05,709
I said, "Hey, I'm willing to die
for these pants, and so is my family."
330
00:19:06,626 --> 00:19:07,668
Karen?
331
00:19:07,751 --> 00:19:09,543
Don't fuck around. Come on out.
332
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:12,918
Oh, you know hide-and-seek
is number five on my boner list.
333
00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:16,376
We have your wife and baby.
334
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,918
Bring the Jordache jeans,
or your family's dead.
335
00:19:20,001 --> 00:19:22,918
Yours truly, Bobby Bubblebutt.
336
00:19:26,709 --> 00:19:29,459
Will you let me hide here
from Cal Fullerton?
337
00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:33,751
If I die one more time this week,
they're gonna cancel my Medicaid.
338
00:19:37,418 --> 00:19:40,668
We find the defendant
AFKAK Pubesalad Crawford
339
00:19:40,751 --> 00:19:44,793
guilty of the charges of arson,
robbery, serial genocide,
340
00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:49,001
dildo-based elder abuse,
and forcibly kissing 25 dogs.
341
00:19:49,084 --> 00:19:50,751
And stealing one's heart.
342
00:19:50,834 --> 00:19:53,668
It's not my fault.
I thought it was a game.
343
00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:54,584
Silence!
344
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:58,001
I sentence you to death
by electric, lethal gas,
345
00:19:58,084 --> 00:20:01,584
injection, and firing squad,
while hanging.
346
00:20:21,543 --> 00:20:24,293
And that's the game. Pretty fun, right?
347
00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:31,334
How the hell have you two managed
to spend $50 million in three hours?!
348
00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:32,751
Cocaine's expensive.
349
00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:35,793
We didn't spend a single dollar
without doing a fuck-us group.
350
00:20:35,876 --> 00:20:37,793
It's a focus group.
351
00:20:37,876 --> 00:20:39,709
No, I'm pretty sure it's a fuck-us group,
352
00:20:39,793 --> 00:20:42,001
'cause we brought in a group,
and they fucked us.
353
00:20:42,084 --> 00:20:45,751
I'm starting to think making you VPs
and giving you stock options
354
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:48,918
because you stuck your dick
up a tube was a bad idea.
355
00:20:49,001 --> 00:20:51,668
Not a single one
of your investments had returns.
356
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,918
One of them returned. From the dead.
357
00:20:55,334 --> 00:20:59,918
Oh yeah.
It's the "Macho Skele-Man" Randy Savage.
358
00:21:00,001 --> 00:21:04,793
That atomic elbow was almost
as strong as the dark magic
359
00:21:04,876 --> 00:21:07,501
that brought me back to life!
360
00:21:07,584 --> 00:21:08,876
Oh yeah!
361
00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:16,793
Can't believe Perlman be watching
Skinemax four hours straight.
362
00:21:17,418 --> 00:21:20,126
Perlman love TV.
363
00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:24,918
Everything but scary movies.
364
00:21:27,793 --> 00:21:29,626
Oh. What wrong with TV?
365
00:21:29,709 --> 00:21:34,084
Perlman can't change channel!
366
00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:39,251
Ooh! Look at me!
I'm that scary sumbitch from The Ring.
367
00:21:40,751 --> 00:21:44,043
I'm gonna get ya. I'm gonna get ya good!
368
00:21:46,084 --> 00:21:48,876
Please don't kill Perlman!
369
00:21:49,501 --> 00:21:52,668
Me do anything!
370
00:21:52,751 --> 00:21:56,168
Crawl your little ass in that TV frame
and entertain me for a change.
371
00:21:56,251 --> 00:21:58,626
Now, I wanna watch Hellboy.
372
00:21:58,709 --> 00:22:01,293
Me Ron Perlman. Oh! Oh!
373
00:22:01,376 --> 00:22:06,168
Me-- me big, caveman-looking
son of bitch. Unga bunga!
374
00:22:06,251 --> 00:22:09,793
Me like motorcycles. Vroom. Vroom.
375
00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:12,751
Whoo! That Ron Perlman's
got a lot of range.
376
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,918
I'm here for my family.
377
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,501
You bring my jeans?
378
00:22:20,168 --> 00:22:22,626
Send them over,
and I'll toss you the jeans.
379
00:22:26,626 --> 00:22:29,043
Come to Daddy!
380
00:22:29,126 --> 00:22:30,709
Hey, hey. How's my ass?
381
00:22:34,293 --> 00:22:35,501
Eesh.
382
00:22:35,584 --> 00:22:37,209
I hate to tell you this, boss,
383
00:22:37,293 --> 00:22:40,418
but it's flatter
than Ron Perlman's frontal cortex.
384
00:22:42,918 --> 00:22:45,043
Are you waiting for a Ron Perlman cutaway
385
00:22:45,126 --> 00:22:47,501
where he goes, "Unga bunga,"
and gets all pissed?
386
00:22:47,584 --> 00:22:50,793
Well, he ain't watching.
There was a hilarious mix-up with his TV.
387
00:22:50,876 --> 00:22:53,543
Aw, great!
That was the best part of the script!
388
00:22:53,626 --> 00:22:55,293
Whatever.
389
00:22:55,376 --> 00:22:57,626
-Boss, your ass is flat.
-What?!
390
00:22:57,709 --> 00:23:00,709
Those are Dollar Tree jeans!
391
00:23:01,251 --> 00:23:04,168
You'll never get my pants!
392
00:23:05,168 --> 00:23:09,543
If I can't have those jeans, nobody can,
you apple-bottomed dickhead!
393
00:23:12,918 --> 00:23:14,376
Run! Go, go, go!
394
00:23:17,209 --> 00:23:20,168
Ha ha! I got my family back and escaped
395
00:23:20,251 --> 00:23:22,918
without getting a scratch
on my magic jeans.
396
00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,459
This is a great-- Uh-oh.
397
00:23:34,668 --> 00:23:37,209
Aw, I just came in my pants.
398
00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,459
That's the last straw, motherfucker.
399
00:23:40,543 --> 00:23:44,793
Ten months undercover as a pair of pants
to take down Mafia don, Bobby Bubblebutt,
400
00:23:44,876 --> 00:23:48,293
and not only do you ruin it,
you came on the back of my head!
401
00:23:48,376 --> 00:23:51,543
Clappers? They let you back into the FBI?
402
00:23:51,626 --> 00:23:55,251
That's really your first question?
Not how the fuck are you pants?
403
00:23:57,334 --> 00:24:00,043
Since that motherfucker Thester
slashed our cocaine budget,
404
00:24:00,126 --> 00:24:02,793
I can't think of no more
good business ideas no more.
405
00:24:02,876 --> 00:24:08,126
In a recession, it's beneficial
to buy something that's recession-proof.
406
00:24:08,209 --> 00:24:09,334
Oh yeah.
407
00:24:09,418 --> 00:24:12,626
You a damn undead skeleton.
You don't know shit about business.
408
00:24:12,709 --> 00:24:14,334
Why you so stressed out, Robby?
409
00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:17,043
You know what?
I know why I'm so stressed out.
410
00:24:17,126 --> 00:24:20,918
Because we lost track of why
we took this job in the first place.
411
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:21,959
To buy crack.
412
00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:23,209
You're right, Robby.
413
00:24:23,293 --> 00:24:26,084
We did so much cocaine,
we almost forgot who we are.
414
00:24:26,168 --> 00:24:27,459
We're crackheads.
415
00:24:27,543 --> 00:24:29,251
Let's make it right, Delbert.
416
00:24:30,543 --> 00:24:31,501
We quit!
417
00:24:34,959 --> 00:24:38,043
Good morning, Mr. Crack Dealer, sir.
We would like to buy some crack.
418
00:24:38,126 --> 00:24:40,418
I'm sorry. I sold it all to that guy.
419
00:24:40,501 --> 00:24:43,876
Crack rock is recession-proof. Oh yeah.
420
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:47,251
I guess I do know about business, uh-huh.
421
00:24:47,334 --> 00:24:52,001
Because I'm the new VP
of Acquisitions. Oh yeah.
422
00:24:52,584 --> 00:24:56,043
You two sumbitches
ready for movie night?
423
00:24:56,126 --> 00:24:58,043
Oh shit! It's Cal Fullerton!
424
00:24:58,918 --> 00:25:00,209
Let us back in!
425
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:05,834
I'm so happy that your whole family
could make it to dinner.
426
00:25:06,418 --> 00:25:10,251
I am so happy
you brought your tiny mortal.
427
00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:12,293
He is very attractive.
428
00:25:12,376 --> 00:25:15,001
He's a goddamn BILF, that's what he is.
429
00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:20,334
I hear it is customary
to give these strange beings a gift.
430
00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:24,793
I present you this Snuggle Me Lovely Doll.
431
00:25:27,043 --> 00:25:30,126
I love you. You love me.
432
00:25:30,209 --> 00:25:33,001
Time is a meaningless construct.
433
00:25:33,084 --> 00:25:34,918
We are already dead.
434
00:25:35,001 --> 00:25:39,459
Now, I'd like for you to meet my fiancée.
435
00:25:42,334 --> 00:25:43,209
Gina?!
436
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:45,584
I hope I'm not too late, honey.
437
00:25:48,126 --> 00:25:51,168
Wow. That is the biggest surprise
of this episode.
438
00:25:51,709 --> 00:25:55,626
Oh really? Did you forget
that I was pants, motherfucker?