1
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:14,459
[Randall] Previously on Paradise PD…
2
00:00:14,543 --> 00:00:16,668
[motorboating]
3
00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:20,668
[Randall stammers] Sorry, wrong clip.
Uh, previously on Paradise PD…
4
00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:23,668
I'm Splooge McDuck!
5
00:00:23,751 --> 00:00:25,751
Whee!
6
00:00:25,834 --> 00:00:28,293
[Randall] Oh, goddamn it!
Who the hell picked these clips?
7
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,376
All right, fuck it.
I'll just tell you what happened.
8
00:00:31,459 --> 00:00:35,251
Charles Lovely bought the town,
walled it off, and banished my son.
9
00:00:35,334 --> 00:00:37,001
AFKAK, not the cool baby.
10
00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:38,209
Roll the episode.
11
00:00:38,293 --> 00:00:43,251
[farting]
12
00:00:44,251 --> 00:00:46,126
Ain't I a stinker?
13
00:00:46,209 --> 00:00:49,459
[theme music playing]
14
00:00:52,876 --> 00:00:54,376
[sinister music plays]
15
00:00:54,459 --> 00:00:56,751
Hey! I need to get in there.
16
00:00:56,834 --> 00:01:01,793
It's important. I need to warn my friends
about Charles Lovely's evil plans!
17
00:01:01,876 --> 00:01:05,626
Lord Lovely has decreed
that you shall not pass!
18
00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:08,584
Oh, cut the shit, Brad.
You work at Target.
19
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,501
And you have a pollen allergy.
20
00:01:10,584 --> 00:01:14,501
I call it the Curse of Histamenia,
21
00:01:14,584 --> 00:01:17,459
placed upon me by the wizard Zyrtec.
22
00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:19,084
You asked for it.
23
00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:20,459
[grunts weakly]
24
00:01:20,543 --> 00:01:23,001
You dare attack me, scoundrel?
25
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:27,501
Prepare thyself
to taste the pain of a thousand blows.
26
00:01:28,168 --> 00:01:32,709
[both grunting weakly]
27
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:36,293
It appears we're evenly matched.
28
00:01:36,376 --> 00:01:40,043
[ominous music plays]
29
00:01:40,126 --> 00:01:43,584
[AFKAK in video] Oh no, Mom.
You're stuck in the dryer again.
30
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,876
[stepmom in video]
It's these damn giant titties.
31
00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:47,543
Good morning, everyone.
32
00:01:47,626 --> 00:01:48,709
[screams]
33
00:01:48,793 --> 00:01:51,209
What the hell's Gollum doing here?
34
00:01:51,293 --> 00:01:54,376
Due to the purchase
and takeover of Paradise--
35
00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:57,126
We don't have your ring!
36
00:01:57,209 --> 00:02:00,709
Please, don't sodomize us
next to a riverbank.
37
00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:02,751
That was Deliverance, Hopson.
38
00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:06,793
Just go with it. For once he said
he didn't want to be sodomized.
39
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,584
Charles Lovely has taken pity
on you unemployed bums
40
00:02:10,668 --> 00:02:12,126
and given you all jobs.
41
00:02:12,209 --> 00:02:15,834
You will all be selling
Lovely products door-to-door.
42
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:19,293
Except for you.
Your job's to let me smell your head.
43
00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,334
[sniffs]
44
00:02:21,418 --> 00:02:23,793
[exhales] Ah! That's good shit!
45
00:02:24,584 --> 00:02:27,793
Now, let's go around the room
and introduce ourselves.
46
00:02:27,876 --> 00:02:31,168
I'll start. I'm Thester Carbomb IV.
47
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,918
I'm a bit of an idiot,
and I like to raise and smother lemurs.
48
00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:35,959
Who's next?
49
00:02:36,043 --> 00:02:38,918
Howdy. Uh, I'm Bullet,
and I'm a talking dog.
50
00:02:39,001 --> 00:02:42,751
"A small Armenian man
who thinks he's a dog."
51
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,251
I'm Dusty Marlow.
52
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:46,918
I was a sweetheart
before I went to ladies' prison,
53
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,084
and now I don't give a fuck.
54
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,709
My friends call me Dr. Bro-Down McCools.
55
00:02:51,793 --> 00:02:52,834
We don't call you that.
56
00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:55,084
Who says you're my friends, assholes?
57
00:02:55,168 --> 00:02:57,043
What up, McCools?
58
00:02:57,126 --> 00:03:01,126
See you tonight, Blood Knife!
We gonna fuck up them Mayans!
59
00:03:02,751 --> 00:03:04,543
You, uh, care to elaborate, Dusty?
60
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:06,876
I'm sorry, I don't speak Armenian.
61
00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:11,501
"Pretend to write
since I never learned how."
62
00:03:12,001 --> 00:03:12,959
Who's next?
63
00:03:13,043 --> 00:03:17,084
I'm Stanley Hopson,
and I like historical tidbits.
64
00:03:17,168 --> 00:03:18,918
Would you mind sharing one with us?
65
00:03:19,001 --> 00:03:22,293
You know our 32nd president, FDR?
66
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:26,209
Well, he was just FR
before I slipped him the D.
67
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,584
"Hopson. The smart one."
68
00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,334
You next. Who are you?
69
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:31,918
Are you fucking serious?
70
00:03:32,001 --> 00:03:35,168
You don't remember me?
We turned the town into a pizza together!
71
00:03:35,251 --> 00:03:36,959
I see.
72
00:03:37,043 --> 00:03:39,001
"I wonder if they know
73
00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:43,334
that I am just drawing
an iguana with sunglasses
74
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:46,709
since I am illiterate."
75
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:47,876
Thester, listen!
76
00:03:47,959 --> 00:03:52,084
I'm gonna say what we're all thinking.
We don't wanna sell products door-to-door.
77
00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:54,293
And now I'm gonna say what I'm thinking.
78
00:03:54,376 --> 00:03:57,834
Why did Popeye always wait
so long to eat the spinach?
79
00:03:57,918 --> 00:04:00,959
Also, why didn't Bluto eat the spinach?
80
00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:04,959
Olive Oyl's the one who should be eating
the spinach. She looks bulimic.
81
00:04:05,043 --> 00:04:09,501
And also, why didn't Popeye
ever work out his upper arms?
82
00:04:09,584 --> 00:04:11,459
What the fuck's this gotta do with us?
83
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:16,126
Right. Did I mention
that you'll be working on a point system
84
00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:18,959
and the top seller wins this prize?
85
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:23,084
A six-slice toaster!
86
00:04:24,293 --> 00:04:26,376
Six slices! Is it from the future?
87
00:04:26,459 --> 00:04:28,209
Oh joy!
88
00:04:28,293 --> 00:04:31,168
Me and five other friends can fuck it.
89
00:04:31,251 --> 00:04:34,501
Ooh! Y'all are gonna be, dare I say…
90
00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:36,918
toast? You get it?
91
00:04:38,543 --> 00:04:39,584
You guys suck.
92
00:04:39,668 --> 00:04:43,251
I guess next time I'll just eat
my own asshole to get a laugh.
93
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:45,793
I think that's the only thing
you haven't eaten today.
94
00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:48,793
[all laughing]
95
00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:53,668
[Fitz laughing]
96
00:04:54,209 --> 00:04:55,668
Fuck all y'all!
97
00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:58,918
It's the Cadillac of toasters.
98
00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:02,959
Ever since I was a kid,
I've dreamt of owning a six-slice toaster.
99
00:05:03,043 --> 00:05:05,126
[high-life music playing]
100
00:05:05,209 --> 00:05:06,626
[engine revving]
101
00:05:18,293 --> 00:05:21,751
Yeah, baby! I'm making it grain!
102
00:05:26,876 --> 00:05:30,334
Wow, six slices of toast. Thanks, Karen.
103
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:34,084
Yeah. It took me all morning
to make these with my four-slice toaster.
104
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,168
Plus I had to throw away two slices.
105
00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:38,043
There's gotta be a better way.
106
00:05:38,126 --> 00:05:39,126
Anyway.
107
00:05:39,209 --> 00:05:43,918
Can you believe Charles Lovely paid
$10 million to buy this shithole town?
108
00:05:44,001 --> 00:05:45,959
What are we going to do
with all our new money?
109
00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:47,959
You don't have to worry about that, baby.
110
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:52,709
I already invested it in a secure,
low-risk, recession-proof…
111
00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:54,251
Boat!
112
00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:57,668
So you spent $10 million on this?!
113
00:05:57,751 --> 00:05:59,334
No, I'm not stupid.
114
00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:01,293
Most of the money went to dig the canals.
115
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,209
Randall, this is--
116
00:06:05,293 --> 00:06:06,168
Boat!
117
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,293
[rock music playing]
118
00:06:13,751 --> 00:06:15,793
Ahoy! You guys need some help?
119
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,209
Oh, you betcha.
We could-- we could sure use some--
120
00:06:18,293 --> 00:06:19,126
Boat!
121
00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:26,126
Robby, know how we've been getting a check
from the government to homeschool Dobby?
122
00:06:26,209 --> 00:06:29,209
Yep. I've been teaching him
the big philosophical questions.
123
00:06:29,293 --> 00:06:32,209
Like why the fuck does Popeye
wait so long to eat the spinach?
124
00:06:32,293 --> 00:06:34,876
Also, if he can open that can
with his bare hands,
125
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,501
why the fuck
don't he just crush Bluto's windpipe?
126
00:06:37,584 --> 00:06:41,001
Well, this letter here says
Dobby has to pass a standardized test
127
00:06:41,084 --> 00:06:41,959
or we're cut off.
128
00:06:42,043 --> 00:06:43,043
Oh, shit.
129
00:06:43,126 --> 00:06:47,168
Okay, listen Dobby. I'm gonna teach you
how to pass that sand-or-rice test.
130
00:06:47,251 --> 00:06:49,834
They gonna give you
a bowl of sand and a bowl of rice.
131
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:52,501
Eat the rice. Do not eat the sand.
132
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:56,293
Not a sand-or-rice test.
A standardized test.
133
00:06:56,376 --> 00:06:59,168
Good. That sand-or-rice test is tough.
134
00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:03,918
This is serious. Dobby needs to learn
all his school subjects in one day.
135
00:07:04,001 --> 00:07:06,501
I can teach him everything
he needs to know.
136
00:07:06,584 --> 00:07:08,418
Just hand me my brain boost juice.
137
00:07:11,584 --> 00:07:13,043
You feeling smarter, Flobby?
138
00:07:13,126 --> 00:07:15,668
No, I don't think
this shit's working, Belzert.
139
00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:17,668
[sinister music plays]
140
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:20,418
Hello. We're from Lovely Corp, and--
141
00:07:21,126 --> 00:07:23,668
Hi. We're from Lovely Corp.
142
00:07:25,168 --> 00:07:27,168
-Hello, we're from--
-We don't want none!
143
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:29,584
This is my apartment, bitch!
144
00:07:29,668 --> 00:07:32,251
Hi! We're from Lovely Corp, and--
145
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:37,043
Sorry, friendlies. I'm gonna have
to slam the door in your face, baby.
146
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:41,834
♪ Out on the water, gonna party down ♪
147
00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:44,001
♪ I got the coolest boat in town ♪
148
00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:46,668
♪ Go through Sonic drive-through
In my boat ♪
149
00:07:46,751 --> 00:07:49,376
♪ Going to Six Flags in my boat ♪
150
00:07:49,459 --> 00:07:51,668
♪ Going to a funeral in my boat ♪
151
00:07:51,751 --> 00:07:54,209
♪ Getting a colonoscopy here in my boat ♪
152
00:07:54,293 --> 00:07:57,209
♪ Every other boat
Looks like a fucking clown ♪
153
00:07:57,293 --> 00:08:00,084
♪ I got the coolest boat in town ♪
154
00:08:01,751 --> 00:08:03,793
What the fuck? Vlad?
155
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:07,918
Hey! Bitch man!
Where you get that sissy boat?
156
00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:09,876
[stammers] Sissy boat?!
157
00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:16,293
Real boat have disco ball,
kegerator, and Casio keyboard, bro!
158
00:08:16,376 --> 00:08:18,584
Just ask dead-eyed bikini girls
159
00:08:18,668 --> 00:08:22,959
or second richest man
in town, Camaro the Bob!
160
00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:27,709
What's the name of your boat, baby?
The SS Cock Chugger?
161
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:28,626
No!
162
00:08:31,251 --> 00:08:33,668
Vlad even wrote boat song.
163
00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:37,251
♪ Fuck boat ♪
164
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:41,209
♪ Fuck boat, fuck boat, fuck boat ♪
165
00:08:41,293 --> 00:08:44,418
Your boat song sucks,
and everyone's gonna hate it!
166
00:08:44,501 --> 00:08:48,543
[host on radio] Now, the number one hit
in the country. Vlad with "Fuck Boat."
167
00:08:48,626 --> 00:08:54,293
[Vlad on radio] ♪ Fuck boat
Fuck boat, fuck boat, fuck boat ♪
168
00:08:54,376 --> 00:08:57,084
Goddamn it. That shit slaps.
169
00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:00,709
Dobby, to prepare for your test,
170
00:09:00,793 --> 00:09:03,293
we're gonna teach you
all about American history.
171
00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:08,376
Son, America was discovered in 1492
172
00:09:08,459 --> 00:09:11,793
by a historic figure
named Christopher Cum-Bus.
173
00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:17,126
[laughs] I'm gonna call this America.
174
00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:22,043
What a great discovery
for a jizz-filled bus. [laughs]
175
00:09:22,543 --> 00:09:25,126
[Robby] Christopher Cum-Bus
became our first president,
176
00:09:25,209 --> 00:09:26,418
wrote the Ten Commandments,
177
00:09:26,501 --> 00:09:30,209
fought alongside General David E. Lee Roth
in the battle of Van Halen,
178
00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:35,043
and invented electricity, before he died
fighting the Dinobots on 9/11.
179
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,626
Never forget.
180
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:39,668
That huffing gas is eating a lot of holes
in your daddy's brain.
181
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:41,668
[ominous music plays]
182
00:09:41,751 --> 00:09:45,418
You didn't sell a single thing!
183
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,459
You all suck
and are terrible at your jobs!
184
00:09:48,543 --> 00:09:49,501
Except for you.
185
00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:51,751
[sniffs]
186
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:54,668
You keep smelling like that,
you'll be management soon.
187
00:09:55,293 --> 00:10:01,084
As for the rest of you, at Lovely Corp,
non-performance gets punished.
188
00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:04,751
HR said I can't do this to you,
189
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:07,793
but I can make you
watch me do it to myself.
190
00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:10,251
-[screaming]
-[steam hissing]
191
00:10:10,334 --> 00:10:12,001
This motherfucker is crazy.
192
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:15,126
The lust for the one ring
made him this way.
193
00:10:16,084 --> 00:10:17,376
[screams]
194
00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:19,084
-[phone ringing]
-What's that ringing?
195
00:10:19,168 --> 00:10:22,459
Oh, it's the old 911 line.
We just let it ring.
196
00:10:22,543 --> 00:10:23,709
Well, answer it!
197
00:10:23,793 --> 00:10:27,959
Oh, yeah, right. And do what? Go help 'em?
We didn't do that shit when we were cops.
198
00:10:28,043 --> 00:10:31,334
No! Go sell them crap!
199
00:10:31,418 --> 00:10:34,043
It's the perfect way
to get your foot in the door.
200
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:38,793
If you need motivation, remember
what our first president once said.
201
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:41,543
"I'm a bus full of jizz."
202
00:10:43,584 --> 00:10:46,543
Your first president? Christopher Cum-Bus?
203
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:51,334
Hmm. Perhaps I shouldn't have paid a man
in a TITS hat for citizenship classes.
204
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,834
Somebody call 911?
205
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:56,543
My wife shot me.
I need to get to a hospital.
206
00:10:56,626 --> 00:10:58,168
I think what you need more
207
00:10:58,251 --> 00:11:01,668
is the Lovely Corp
Super-Sucker Wet-Dry Vac.
208
00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:04,584
Oh, look at it suck your little blood
right out the carpet.
209
00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:07,501
It's cleaning it up faster
than you're bleeding it out.
210
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:11,751
Wow. My normal leading brand
vacuum cleaner can't do that.
211
00:11:11,834 --> 00:11:14,168
Act now and get
this brain splatter attachment,
212
00:11:14,251 --> 00:11:16,251
in case your wife
gets a headshot next time.
213
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:19,251
I'd recommend that. I'm reloadin'!
214
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:21,251
[gasps] Dear God!
215
00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,251
[sinister music plays]
216
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,293
[door slams open]
217
00:11:24,376 --> 00:11:25,293
Hold it right there!
218
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:28,168
You don't wanna do this.
219
00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:30,459
With a regular, dull kitchen knife.
220
00:11:30,543 --> 00:11:34,293
Introducing the Lovely Ever-Sharp Knife.
221
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:37,418
Buy now and get a free roll of happy tape.
222
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,084
Isn't that better?
223
00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:47,043
Wow. I was looking
for something to take the edge off
224
00:11:47,126 --> 00:11:49,084
when I have sex with their dead bodies.
225
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,334
Thanks, Lovely Corp.
226
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,918
♪ Lovely Corp ♪
227
00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,834
Submission is inevitable.
228
00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,959
[suspenseful music plays]
229
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:03,209
That post on Nextdoor was true!
My dolphin queen has returned!
230
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:06,209
[romantic music playing]
231
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:10,376
Oh, yeah, baby. Let me rim that blowhole.
232
00:12:10,459 --> 00:12:13,834
[tongue wiggling]
233
00:12:13,918 --> 00:12:15,834
Fitz, it's me, Kevin!
234
00:12:15,918 --> 00:12:18,751
I-I-I know. I-I-I'm very lonely.
235
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:21,084
I'm sorry I tricked you,
but it's important.
236
00:12:21,168 --> 00:12:24,043
Lovely Corp is planning
something really terrible.
237
00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:26,043
I don't wanna hear you
shit-talking Lovely Corp.
238
00:12:26,126 --> 00:12:29,001
Thanks to them,
I could own a six-slice toaster.
239
00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:31,084
Then I'll be able
to fuck any dolphin I want.
240
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,251
-[vehicle approaching]
-Oh my God!
241
00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:34,334
[Randall] Boat!
242
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:36,834
[Vlad's disco music playing]
243
00:12:36,918 --> 00:12:38,501
[Randall's dance music playing]
244
00:12:38,584 --> 00:12:40,459
Who's got the coolest boat now?
245
00:12:40,543 --> 00:12:42,751
My kegerator's powered by plutonium.
246
00:12:42,834 --> 00:12:44,751
You never had a beer this cold.
247
00:12:53,209 --> 00:12:57,126
Ha ha! I'm on a boat
in a boat. Double boat, bitch!
248
00:12:57,209 --> 00:13:01,334
That SS Cock Chugger
is looking a lot cooler now, baby.
249
00:13:04,459 --> 00:13:05,751
Oh yeah?
250
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:10,501
Well, I apply sticker
of the Calvin making piss on your boat.
251
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:17,626
Calvin would never do that!
252
00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:20,334
See? Not pissing.
253
00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:23,293
[ominous music plays]
254
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:26,543
Look at all these points.
You're all neck and neck.
255
00:13:26,626 --> 00:13:28,001
Have you been up all night?
256
00:13:28,084 --> 00:13:29,084
[phone rings]
257
00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:31,584
[all arguing]
258
00:13:31,668 --> 00:13:33,084
Mine! Mine!
259
00:13:35,626 --> 00:13:36,918
[groaning]
260
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,293
Ooh! This is so hot!
261
00:13:40,376 --> 00:13:42,334
-[steam hissing]
-Turns out I enjoy this.
262
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:45,043
I need this toaster
to make my dreams come true.
263
00:13:45,668 --> 00:13:49,334
You're all mine. The four-slice toaster
just doesn't get the job done.
264
00:13:50,209 --> 00:13:51,459
-[electricity crackles]
-[groans]
265
00:13:52,418 --> 00:13:55,168
See? I told you
I wouldn't die from an overdose.
266
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,126
You win. Here's your five dollars.
267
00:13:58,918 --> 00:14:00,709
Damn. I didn't think this out.
268
00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:02,376
Ooh! Five dollars.
269
00:14:02,459 --> 00:14:04,543
-[electricity crackling]
-[screaming]
270
00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:09,543
I don't know why we wasted all that time
271
00:14:09,626 --> 00:14:11,876
trying to fill up that model
of Christopher Cum-Bus.
272
00:14:11,959 --> 00:14:14,793
Man, you told me
Dobby was a jizz-jual learner.
273
00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:16,251
I think you need hearing aids.
274
00:14:16,334 --> 00:14:19,626
Did you just say penis ass?
Why do you say shit like that?
275
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:23,043
Anyway. We better finish the rest
of these subjects in a lightning round.
276
00:14:23,126 --> 00:14:23,959
Economics.
277
00:14:24,043 --> 00:14:25,334
Give me your goddamn wallet!
278
00:14:25,418 --> 00:14:26,876
Home Economics.
279
00:14:26,959 --> 00:14:29,043
Give me your goddamn wallet
and make me an omelet!
280
00:14:29,126 --> 00:14:30,501
Women's Studies.
281
00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:33,334
[strip club music playing]
282
00:14:33,418 --> 00:14:37,293
See, she's reclaiming her sexuality.
That's the third-wave feminism.
283
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,751
Civics.
284
00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,668
-[electricity crackling]
-[engine starts]
285
00:14:40,751 --> 00:14:42,418
And that's how you hotwire Honda Civics.
286
00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:43,834
Biology.
287
00:14:43,918 --> 00:14:44,793
Horse.
288
00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:45,793
Fat horse.
289
00:14:45,876 --> 00:14:46,876
Water horse.
290
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:48,001
Pointy horse.
291
00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:49,418
Potassium horse.
292
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:51,918
And last but not least, geography.
293
00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:53,293
This is the Earth.
294
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:54,668
Wait a minute. That's the Earth?
295
00:14:54,751 --> 00:14:57,001
How the fuck can that be the Earth
when we on the Earth?
296
00:14:57,084 --> 00:14:58,168
Robby, this is just a--
297
00:14:58,251 --> 00:15:00,001
No, no, no. I understand science.
298
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,876
Fuck you, tiny us!
299
00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:03,668
[disco music playing]
300
00:15:07,459 --> 00:15:09,751
This is some party, baby.
301
00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:14,793
Hey. You're not Camaro the Bob.
He's Camaro the Bob.
302
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:18,584
I'm starting to question everything, baby.
303
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:23,418
Okay, you got me. Your boat is cooler.
304
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:26,501
But my boat is faster!
I challenge you to a race.
305
00:15:26,584 --> 00:15:28,334
Winner gets the bikini girls.
306
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:31,251
We choose to be okay
with being gambled off.
307
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:33,709
Fourth-wave feminism. Mmm!
308
00:15:33,793 --> 00:15:35,168
You're on.
309
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,084
Who the hell is this guy?
310
00:15:38,168 --> 00:15:39,293
Okay, you got me.
311
00:15:39,376 --> 00:15:40,376
A-pew-pew!
312
00:15:40,459 --> 00:15:41,376
[motors rattling]
313
00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:44,043
[rock music playing]
314
00:15:44,126 --> 00:15:46,209
[motors revving]
315
00:16:19,876 --> 00:16:20,793
I won!
316
00:16:20,876 --> 00:16:22,709
[music ends]
317
00:16:22,793 --> 00:16:27,418
Oh shit! I guess it just ain't safe
to go from 200 to zero instantly.
318
00:16:28,001 --> 00:16:29,584
I called 911.
319
00:16:29,668 --> 00:16:32,418
They sold me this happy tape, baby.
320
00:16:33,668 --> 00:16:37,209
Them dead bodies look so happy,
I don't have to feel guilty.
321
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:38,626
Thanks, Lovely Corp.
322
00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:40,126
♪ Lovely Corp ♪
323
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,584
There is nothing after death but darkness.
324
00:16:46,043 --> 00:16:47,001
Are you ready, son?
325
00:16:47,584 --> 00:16:50,501
You have four hours
to complete your sand-or-rice test.
326
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:53,668
I told you.
327
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,043
That's right.
I forgot we live in a cartoon.
328
00:16:56,126 --> 00:16:58,043
[suspenseful music playing]
329
00:17:05,751 --> 00:17:06,876
-Yeah!
-Huzzah.
330
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,126
Your son is a genius.
Nobody's ever solved it that fast.
331
00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:12,959
Robby, turns out you were right
about that sand-or-rice test.
332
00:17:13,043 --> 00:17:15,001
I've never been right
about something before.
333
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,334
I wonder what else I might be right about.
334
00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:19,043
[low rumbling]
335
00:17:19,126 --> 00:17:21,043
Fuck you, tiny us!
336
00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:24,668
You've got one more chance
to let me in, or else!
337
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:26,668
Or else what, peasant?
338
00:17:28,584 --> 00:17:30,751
[inhales, blows]
339
00:17:31,543 --> 00:17:34,209
No! Mine allergies!
340
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:43,834
I, Zyrtec, have finally defeated you.
Zibble-bibble!
341
00:17:43,918 --> 00:17:47,043
Fuck you, Neil. Aren't you supposed
to be stocking at Target right now?
342
00:17:47,126 --> 00:17:51,001
No! They fired me
for masturbating! Zibble-bibble!
343
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:52,001
[ominous music plays]
344
00:17:52,084 --> 00:17:54,043
You wanted to see me?
345
00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:57,126
Gotta impress the boss.
346
00:17:58,168 --> 00:18:00,126
[AFKAK whispering] Psst. Kevin.
347
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:03,376
AFKAK. I thought you got banned from town.
348
00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:06,459
[whispering] Yes. That's why
I'm dressed as this water horse.
349
00:18:07,668 --> 00:18:09,459
Listen. Lovely Corp is dangerous.
350
00:18:09,543 --> 00:18:12,168
Charles Lovely is planning something
called The Eternal Reckoning.
351
00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:13,501
I don't know exactly what it is,
352
00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:16,001
but I know it's bad,
and we have to stop him.
353
00:18:16,084 --> 00:18:19,168
Holy shit. I better go tell someone, then.
354
00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:21,168
AFKAK's in the bushes outside.
355
00:18:21,251 --> 00:18:22,834
Mr. Lovely wouldn't like that.
356
00:18:22,918 --> 00:18:27,876
All right. One million points
to the person who brings him to me!
357
00:18:30,126 --> 00:18:31,751
Hold on! Hold on!
358
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:34,043
You are all pathetic.
359
00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:37,751
You can't sell out your friend
for a toaster.
360
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:39,709
Because I'm doing it first, cock chuggers.
361
00:18:39,793 --> 00:18:41,418
Yeah, I heard that one earlier. I like it.
362
00:18:41,918 --> 00:18:43,418
[tense music playing]
363
00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:48,543
Now, what kind of a sack
is that for a AFKAK?
364
00:18:48,626 --> 00:18:51,751
What you need is a Lovely Corp Nerd Net,
365
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:56,626
made from breathable steel micromesh
so your nerds don't get all sweaty inside.
366
00:18:56,709 --> 00:18:58,584
Only 29.99.
367
00:18:58,668 --> 00:18:59,501
Sold!
368
00:19:00,043 --> 00:19:02,543
[music continues]
369
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,418
Man, these pockets is tight.
370
00:19:04,501 --> 00:19:07,084
Got a fat ass
and can't fit cash in your pockets?
371
00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:11,418
Looks like you need
a Lovely Corp Pocket Genie. Only 29.99.
372
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:12,334
Sold!
373
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:14,084
[music continues]
374
00:19:14,168 --> 00:19:16,334
Aw. Now I ain't got no money.
375
00:19:16,418 --> 00:19:18,876
What am I supposed
to do with this pocket genie?
376
00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:21,126
Oh. I know.
377
00:19:22,793 --> 00:19:23,626
[music ends]
378
00:19:26,418 --> 00:19:28,001
Why are you doing this?!
379
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,793
For a six-slice toaster.
380
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:31,834
They're, like, 50 bucks!
381
00:19:31,918 --> 00:19:34,001
I'll buy you all one right now!
382
00:19:34,543 --> 00:19:36,793
He's lying. This is a seven-slice toaster.
383
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,918
He's trying to make us choose
between wasting bread or electricity.
384
00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:40,834
Kill him!
385
00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:43,001
[suspenseful music plays]
386
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,418
["Macho Man" Randy Savage]
We've been searching high and low.
387
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:50,376
Yeah, I've been looking
everywhere for you, AFKAK.
388
00:19:50,459 --> 00:19:53,626
Uh-huh, the only man, the one and only man
389
00:19:53,709 --> 00:19:56,876
who hates Lovely Corp
as much as we do, yeah.
390
00:19:56,959 --> 00:20:00,459
Hate is a strong word,
but it's perfect when you mean it.
391
00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:03,834
Now, welcome to the resistance. Oh yeah.
392
00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:05,709
[militaristic music playing]
393
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,168
Who is that guy?
394
00:20:13,251 --> 00:20:15,376
[Clappers] He's just here to wear me.
395
00:20:15,459 --> 00:20:19,168
See, there was a problem reversing
the experimental procedure at the FBI.
396
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,876
Wait a minute.
They let you back into the FBI?
397
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:25,793
Why is that everyone's first question?
I'm pants, goddamn it!
398
00:20:25,876 --> 00:20:27,793
[ominous music plays]
399
00:20:29,043 --> 00:20:32,126
Everyone, it looks like our point leader
400
00:20:32,209 --> 00:20:36,834
and new owner
of his very own six-slice toaster
401
00:20:36,918 --> 00:20:38,793
is Gerald Fitz.
402
00:20:38,876 --> 00:20:40,501
I've caught AFKAK.
403
00:20:43,043 --> 00:20:44,334
What the fuck is this?
404
00:20:44,418 --> 00:20:45,751
That's Tilda Swinton.
405
00:20:45,834 --> 00:20:48,084
We have a new winner!
406
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,043
I didn't even want this.
407
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,709
Remember that toast joke I told?
Next time, laugh.
408
00:20:56,209 --> 00:20:58,209
[theme music playing]
409
00:21:42,709 --> 00:21:44,126
[screams]