1
00:00:17,959 --> 00:00:20,918
So, what exactly is the resistance?
2
00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:22,543
The resistance is a team.
3
00:00:22,626 --> 00:00:24,751
I for one love being part of the team.
4
00:00:24,834 --> 00:00:28,709
Shut the fuck up, Norf!
You're not on the team, Norf!
5
00:00:28,793 --> 00:00:30,626
I hired you on Taskrabbit to wear me,
6
00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:33,959
not to speak or think
or tell us stories about your pet lizards.
7
00:00:34,043 --> 00:00:37,834
Actually, they're crested geckos
named Sam and Diane, and they--
8
00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:39,584
Nobody gives a fuck, Norf!
9
00:00:39,668 --> 00:00:43,293
I kinda wanted
to hear the lizard story, baby.
10
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,918
I bet they end up together.
11
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,543
Love always win.
12
00:00:47,626 --> 00:00:51,168
Shut up! I'm the boss,
you idiots! I'm in total control!
13
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,334
Oh, uh, Norf, scratch my nose, please?
14
00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:55,001
Oh, that's the stuff.
15
00:00:55,084 --> 00:00:58,418
Now, take three dramatic steps
as I use my intense voice.
16
00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,709
We are the resistance.
17
00:01:00,793 --> 00:01:03,459
Our mission
is to ding-dang destroy Lovely Corp
18
00:01:03,543 --> 00:01:06,709
to satisfy all
of our own personal vendettas.
19
00:01:06,793 --> 00:01:11,126
They put Jerry
and my donut shop out of business!
20
00:01:11,209 --> 00:01:14,001
They raised me from the dead, yeah,
21
00:01:14,084 --> 00:01:16,918
and then forced me to learn PowerPoint.
22
00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:21,918
Lovely Corp degrades and abuses
people so much that I'm losing work.
23
00:01:22,001 --> 00:01:27,084
It's been weeks since anybody paid me
to turn their stink hole into a sinkhole.
24
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:29,834
I'm just here to meet Abe Lincoln.
25
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,918
Somebody better fix that gas leak. Anyway.
26
00:01:36,001 --> 00:01:37,584
I want revenge on Lovely Corp
27
00:01:37,668 --> 00:01:41,543
because they irresponsibly developed
the technology that transformed me into--
28
00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:44,834
This again.
29
00:01:44,918 --> 00:01:47,876
Nobody wants to know how I became pants?!
30
00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:51,418
I'd rather hear the lizard story, baby.
31
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:52,834
Shut up, Norf!
32
00:01:52,918 --> 00:01:54,334
I didn't say anything.
33
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:57,209
You smiled. Cut that shit out.
34
00:01:57,293 --> 00:01:59,876
AFKAK, the Macho Man
took the liberty of compiling
35
00:01:59,959 --> 00:02:03,251
a meticulously researched dossier
on Charles Lovely.
36
00:02:03,334 --> 00:02:07,834
Yeah, the Macho Man
added unicorn stickers, uh-huh.
37
00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:10,834
Yeah, they help me
forget the constant pain
38
00:02:10,918 --> 00:02:13,334
due to my hellish state of existence.
39
00:02:13,418 --> 00:02:15,043
Oh yeah!
40
00:02:15,126 --> 00:02:18,834
And I've devised a plan
to shut down Lovely Corp once and for all.
41
00:02:18,918 --> 00:02:23,043
We're writing a bunch of negative
online reviews of Lovely Corp products!
42
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,459
-One star. Take that.
43
00:02:41,543 --> 00:02:44,376
-Uh, you just gave them five stars.
-Shit!
44
00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:48,209
Not me, kemosabe.
Camaro Bob don't do digital.
45
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:51,459
Even the dick pics
I send are analog, baby.
46
00:02:56,584 --> 00:02:57,501
We have a window?
47
00:02:57,584 --> 00:03:01,126
I'm not sure scathing reviews
is the best way to take down Lovely Corp.
48
00:03:01,209 --> 00:03:02,584
You don't like my plan?
49
00:03:02,668 --> 00:03:04,501
Punch him in the face, Norf.
50
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,959
Psych! You're not on the team.
Put your goddamn hand down.
51
00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:11,293
I've got it. What if we kidnap Thester?
He's Lovely's number two.
52
00:03:11,376 --> 00:03:14,459
Which means he must know
all the company's secrets and weaknesses.
53
00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,459
Wow. Now, that's a good plan.
54
00:03:16,543 --> 00:03:20,126
Seriously?
I had that exact same idea last week.
55
00:03:20,209 --> 00:03:23,584
I don't pay you to have ideas!
I pay you to do what I say!
56
00:03:23,668 --> 00:03:26,251
I'm the King of the Norf,
and you're just a White Walker.
57
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:27,834
Now, let's get to work, people.
58
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:31,043
Why am I suddenly covered in bird shit?
59
00:03:32,126 --> 00:03:35,751
Sorry, baby.
This group text won't go through.
60
00:03:44,709 --> 00:03:46,709
Fitz, this is foosball.
61
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:47,959
This guy's your goalie.
62
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:52,168
His name is Pedro, he's a Scorpio,
he likes his carne asada medium-rare,
63
00:03:52,251 --> 00:03:53,959
and he was raised in Ohio.
64
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:55,626
That explains his fentanyl habit.
65
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:58,543
You sure I need to know all this
to play foosball?
66
00:03:58,626 --> 00:04:01,376
Fitz, you take this seriously,
or you get the fuck outta here!
67
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:04,459
Why, God?
68
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:09,459
Why? Oh, I'm in so much pain!
69
00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:25,543
Christ, Dusty.
70
00:04:25,626 --> 00:04:29,334
I miss the Shamrock Shake too,
but life goes on.
71
00:04:29,418 --> 00:04:30,459
Does it, Randall?
72
00:04:30,543 --> 00:04:32,793
I just found out my dear mama--
73
00:04:32,876 --> 00:04:35,209
Did you tell him
about Pedro's fentanyl habit?
74
00:04:35,293 --> 00:04:37,459
-Dusty! Focus!
-Oh right.
75
00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:39,209
She died!
76
00:04:39,293 --> 00:04:43,709
She died! I'm so sad! Why?
77
00:04:43,793 --> 00:04:49,001
Now, I need to get her blessed corpse
down at the funeral home by five o'clock.
78
00:04:49,084 --> 00:04:52,584
Problem is…
…I can't move her by my little ol' self.
79
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:56,293
We'd love to help,
but unfortunately, we're, uh… b-busy.
80
00:04:56,376 --> 00:05:00,543
Yeah. That's it.
We-- we're busy, uh, making up, uh…
81
00:05:00,626 --> 00:05:01,459
An excuse.
82
00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:04,876
Yeah, we-- we're making up an excuse
so that we'd, uh…
83
00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:06,668
Uh, don't have to help you…
84
00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:07,793
Move your…
85
00:05:07,876 --> 00:05:09,168
Fat dead mom.
86
00:05:09,251 --> 00:05:10,668
Fat dead mom, right.
87
00:05:12,418 --> 00:05:16,084
Rule 571 of the Brozone is, and I quote,
88
00:05:16,168 --> 00:05:19,293
"Always help a fellow bro
move a dead body."
89
00:05:19,376 --> 00:05:22,001
Rule 571 only applies to hookers.
90
00:05:22,084 --> 00:05:25,584
Well, the joke's on you!
'Cause my mama fucked for money plenty!
91
00:05:25,668 --> 00:05:28,668
Her clients said
half the fun was hunting for her teetee.
92
00:05:28,751 --> 00:05:31,459
Yeah, that was half the fun!
93
00:05:31,543 --> 00:05:34,209
I mean,
uh, that's what I heard.
94
00:05:36,668 --> 00:05:40,293
Shh. Be very, very quiet.
95
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:42,501
I'm hunting dick pics.
96
00:05:47,709 --> 00:05:49,501
Look at this schedule.
97
00:05:49,584 --> 00:05:52,709
Cutting the ribbon at the Natural
History Museum dinosaur exhibit.
98
00:05:52,793 --> 00:05:56,293
Going on Anderson Cooper to talk
about Paradise's remarkable turnaround.
99
00:05:56,376 --> 00:05:59,334
Delivering the eulogy
at the funeral of the governor's son!
100
00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:04,334
Now, to ensure your reelection,
it's vital that this day go perfectly.
101
00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:05,543
I can take a hint.
102
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,959
I'm taking my anti-crazy-bitch pills.
103
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,918
Whoa! Karen, don't take that!
104
00:06:11,001 --> 00:06:14,168
I think our identical pill cases
got hilariously mixed up.
105
00:06:14,251 --> 00:06:17,293
Impossible. I'm an ultra-successful mayor.
106
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,459
You're a dog.
How would that have happened?
107
00:06:19,543 --> 00:06:24,168
Uh, maybe when the ultra-successful mayor
came over last night to the dog's house,
108
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,668
piss drunk
with a Costco-size jar of Skippy?
109
00:06:26,751 --> 00:06:27,751
Are you sure?
110
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:30,418
You really put
your illegal drugs in a pill case?
111
00:06:30,501 --> 00:06:33,709
Oh yeah. I'm what you might call
a type A drug addict.
112
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:38,209
Oh, man. You just took my Monday Molly.
You're gonna be rolling balls soon.
113
00:06:40,251 --> 00:06:44,626
And to reveal the crown jewel
of the Lovely dinosaur collection,
114
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:48,084
uh, please welcome Mayor Karen Crawford.
115
00:06:49,334 --> 00:06:51,959
What up, fam? Who got that good dick?!
116
00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:54,043
Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump!
117
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:03,043
Can I kiss you?
118
00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:05,834
-I'm the mama! I'm the mama!
119
00:07:05,918 --> 00:07:07,876
Oh! Yes!
120
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:12,668
Uh, uh, she's, uh,
fucking the dinosaur, huh.
121
00:07:14,751 --> 00:07:17,793
Don't worry, Mr. Lovely.
I'm perfectly safe.
122
00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:22,126
Remember how Saddam Hussein
had all his bodyguards get plastic surgery
123
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,501
to look just like Saddam Hussein?
124
00:07:24,584 --> 00:07:28,126
Let's just say I borrowed that idea.
125
00:07:31,168 --> 00:07:32,876
Eat pants, motherfucker!
126
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:37,918
Ever think it's weird that we got
massive amounts of plastic surgery
127
00:07:38,001 --> 00:07:42,251
to look like Saddam Hussein to protect
someone who ain't Saddam Hussein?
128
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,084
It's a living, Robby.
129
00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:52,001
Oh no!
130
00:07:52,918 --> 00:07:55,043
Do not help, Norf! You're not on the team!
131
00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:57,126
-Ah!
132
00:07:57,751 --> 00:07:58,876
You fucked up.
133
00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:08,834
I think my spine is snapping!
134
00:08:08,918 --> 00:08:11,793
Hey, Dusty.
You gonna fucking help?
135
00:08:11,876 --> 00:08:14,001
I would, but I'm too sad.
136
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:22,543
It's just like moving a couch.
Twist her clockwise.
137
00:08:22,626 --> 00:08:23,668
Like this?
138
00:08:23,751 --> 00:08:26,584
No! You know
how goddamn clocks work, right?
139
00:08:26,668 --> 00:08:29,168
I never learned! I'm just gonna push!
140
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:32,543
No! No--
You mashed my fingers!
141
00:08:32,626 --> 00:08:35,376
Don't y'all scratch her now.
I want an open casket.
142
00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:38,334
My hands are numb! I'm pushing!
143
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:39,626
No, no, no!
144
00:08:42,001 --> 00:08:46,501
Oh, I found her teetee.
I found her teetee.
145
00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:52,751
How dare you ruin my original stitching!
146
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,251
Norf, get in position!
147
00:08:57,459 --> 00:09:00,376
Listen up, you bouncing bag
of bing-bong British bullshit.
148
00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:02,834
We can do this the easy way, or--
149
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:06,918
Not the easy way! No!
I'll tell you everything!
150
00:09:07,626 --> 00:09:09,751
I never told anyone this, but…
151
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:12,959
…I secretly star
in a CBS drama about a cop
152
00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:15,168
who works undercover at a deli.
153
00:09:15,251 --> 00:09:18,709
Cole's Law.
Where the cases are colder than the cuts.
154
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:20,876
Tell us about Lovely Corp!
155
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:23,126
How can we bring it down once and for all?
156
00:09:23,209 --> 00:09:25,001
You can't! It's impossible!
157
00:09:25,084 --> 00:09:28,334
Lovely Corp is completely indestructible!
158
00:09:28,418 --> 00:09:29,918
We're fucked, baby.
159
00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:34,709
With the exception
of one load-bearing support beam
160
00:09:34,793 --> 00:09:36,668
which, for some implausible reason,
161
00:09:36,751 --> 00:09:39,209
supports the entire weight
of the building.
162
00:09:39,293 --> 00:09:41,251
We're not fucked, baby.
163
00:09:42,876 --> 00:09:44,501
But you won't be able to get to it.
164
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:49,459
The building is patrolled 24-7
by machine-gun-toting security guards.
165
00:09:49,543 --> 00:09:50,918
Fucked, baby.
166
00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:54,251
With the exception of Sunday
167
00:09:54,334 --> 00:09:58,376
when everyone, including the guards,
are going to Charles' and Gina's wedding,
168
00:09:58,459 --> 00:10:01,126
and the building will be left
completely unattended.
169
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:04,043
All you'd have to do
is open one unlocked door
170
00:10:04,126 --> 00:10:06,418
and gently push on the support beam.
171
00:10:06,501 --> 00:10:09,543
Lovely Corp would literally
come tumbling down.
172
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:12,376
Good thing I studied art restoration.
173
00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:16,543
Gina's marrying
Charles Lovely this Sunday?
174
00:10:16,626 --> 00:10:18,584
W-We-- we need to stop the wedding!
175
00:10:18,668 --> 00:10:22,293
Uh, shouldn't we take advantage
of everyone being at the wedding
176
00:10:22,376 --> 00:10:25,626
and sneak into Lovely Corp
and take it down once and for all?
177
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,751
Shut your fucking mouth, Norf!
178
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:30,376
Uh, shouldn't we take advantage
of everyone being at the wedding
179
00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:33,084
to sneak into Lovely Corp
and take it down once and for all?
180
00:10:33,168 --> 00:10:34,751
You're right, Agent Clappers.
181
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,418
I was being selfish.
That's the perfect plan.
182
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:41,584
So! You're the star of Cole's Law!
183
00:10:41,668 --> 00:10:45,459
I didn't realize
you were that Thester Carbomb IV.
184
00:10:45,543 --> 00:10:46,709
Just between us,
185
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:51,418
I am also secretly the star
of a deli-based CBS drama, heh.
186
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:54,668
He's a hard-nosed reporter
undercover at a deli.
187
00:10:54,751 --> 00:10:58,001
Matzo Ball Scoop! This fall on CBS.
188
00:10:58,834 --> 00:11:02,709
Raise your hand if you're secretly
starring in a deli-based CBS drama.
189
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:12,626
Whoo-hoo! I wanna blow
some college Republicans!
190
00:11:12,709 --> 00:11:15,709
Dole-Kemp forever!
191
00:11:15,793 --> 00:11:19,876
Bullet! She is supposed to be
on Anderson Cooper in ten minutes!
192
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,334
You've got to fix this!
193
00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:24,418
Relax. I got just the thing
to level her off.
194
00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:28,376
My next guest is here
to talk about how she's fighting
195
00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:30,459
against drug abuse in her town.
196
00:11:30,543 --> 00:11:33,668
I'm now joined
by Mayor Karen Craw--
197
00:11:33,751 --> 00:11:35,584
So… Wow.
198
00:11:35,668 --> 00:11:38,418
Uh, tell us
about Paradise's new civic model.
199
00:11:42,209 --> 00:11:47,418
I am the one true devil,
the dark master of the demon phallus!
200
00:11:47,501 --> 00:11:50,084
Mayor, you seem to be a little distracted.
201
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,709
By your own fingers.
202
00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:53,543
Which you now seem to be eating.
203
00:11:54,418 --> 00:11:55,376
Oh God, no.
204
00:11:55,459 --> 00:11:59,584
Whorey host manos,
you shall enslave me no longer!
205
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:03,209
Uh, to continue
our Women in Politics segment,
206
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,293
my next guest, Nancy Pelosi.
207
00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:10,293
Oh, that's skunky.
208
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:13,334
Now, don't move, Dusty.
You're the counterweight.
209
00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:14,834
McDonald's!
210
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:16,751
Shamrock Shake!
211
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:17,959
It's October.
212
00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:20,043
Not in Ireland, dumbass!
213
00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:22,501
Shit! Shit! Shit!
214
00:12:26,793 --> 00:12:28,959
Almost there!
215
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:32,043
And now it's worse.
216
00:12:35,626 --> 00:12:40,876
Uh, see? See? I told you,
I, uh, know a lot about dinosaurs, uh.
217
00:12:43,459 --> 00:12:44,876
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
218
00:12:44,959 --> 00:12:48,209
Yes, see, that--
now, that's the chaos theory.
219
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:52,209
Run, kids! Run!
220
00:12:55,293 --> 00:12:57,209
Ha! Got my Shamrock Shake!
221
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:59,709
They'll make you one
if you point a gun at 'em.
222
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:00,709
Where's Mama?
223
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:07,293
Thanks to these babies,
this house ain't the only thing that's up.
224
00:13:07,376 --> 00:13:08,918
I wanna go home!
225
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:10,251
Gah, shut up!
226
00:13:19,418 --> 00:13:21,459
Why would Gina marry this wacko?
227
00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:25,001
"Another beautiful woman
falls for Charles Lovely."
228
00:13:25,084 --> 00:13:28,459
Excuse me, Baby Kevin.
Let the grown-ups handle this.
229
00:13:28,543 --> 00:13:30,168
"Anoh-ther…
230
00:13:30,251 --> 00:13:32,418
be-- boo-- ootiful…
231
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:34,209
wa-- waoman…"
232
00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:37,459
Here's another one.
And another one.
233
00:13:37,543 --> 00:13:39,959
Oh my God. They're all dead!
234
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:43,209
Christ! This guy's caused
more irreparable harm to women
235
00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:44,418
than Andy Cohen!
236
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,293
You think he killed all his wives?
237
00:13:46,376 --> 00:13:47,459
And look at this.
238
00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:50,251
What do all these women have in common?
239
00:13:51,376 --> 00:13:52,251
Boobies?
240
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:54,543
Good eye, bud. You see anything else?
241
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,293
-Beavers?
-They all look like Gina!
242
00:13:58,376 --> 00:14:02,543
And they're all wearing the exact
same locket she's wearing right now.
243
00:14:02,626 --> 00:14:05,543
Lovely must use that
to control their minds.
244
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:09,376
How else could that freakwad
score such grade-A ass?
245
00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:11,501
Oh no. What should I do?
246
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,793
You gotta save her, bro.
247
00:14:12,876 --> 00:14:16,543
Before your little girlfriend
winds up dead like all the rest.
248
00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:19,918
You're right. Thanks for the favor,
little brother. How could I repay you?
249
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:22,251
Hide me from Mom! Quick! She's coming!
250
00:14:23,959 --> 00:14:26,793
Baby Kevin? Where are you?
251
00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:29,959
It's time
for your bedtime story!
252
00:14:33,501 --> 00:14:35,584
Whoa. When did Mom turn into Ellen?
253
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:44,293
Look what you did! She is almost
as bad as Marjorie Taylor Greene!
254
00:14:44,876 --> 00:14:45,793
Fucking lightweight.
255
00:14:45,876 --> 00:14:50,043
I actually have the perfect thing
to bring her down. Bath salts.
256
00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:56,043
Bath salts that I was going to suggest
she dissolve in a nice, warm tub,
257
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,001
but, uh, happy to see how this goes.
258
00:14:58,084 --> 00:15:00,376
Why? What happens when you eat bath salts?
259
00:15:02,459 --> 00:15:05,584
And now to say a few words
honoring my boy,
260
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:08,251
the mayor of Paradise, Karen Craw--
261
00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:17,334
Two, three…
262
00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:26,001
See? That's what happens
when you eat bath salts.
263
00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:31,376
That was the most beautiful eulogy
anyone has ever given.
264
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:35,251
How did you know that "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
was my son's favorite song,
265
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:38,376
or that his lifelong dream
was to have blood vomited on him
266
00:15:38,459 --> 00:15:40,751
by a half-naked elected official?
267
00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:43,668
Shoo! Well, all's well that ends--
268
00:15:45,084 --> 00:15:48,001
Oh yeah. That's also what happens
when you eat bath salts.
269
00:15:51,126 --> 00:15:52,751
Where'd they take Mama?
270
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:54,418
Scram, you turkeys.
271
00:15:54,501 --> 00:15:58,293
A UFO landed here, and we've taken it
to our top secret hidden government lab
272
00:15:58,376 --> 00:16:00,793
that no civilian can ever find out about.
273
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,001
Is that it?
274
00:16:02,084 --> 00:16:03,709
Why, yes, it is. Damn it!
275
00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:05,876
I'm sorry, Dusty,
we did everything we could.
276
00:16:05,959 --> 00:16:09,834
But we can't sneak into a top secret
hidden government lab.
277
00:16:09,918 --> 00:16:11,168
I hear you, Randall.
278
00:16:11,251 --> 00:16:14,668
And I certainly respect your concerns,
but…
279
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,834
Hold on a second.
Where do you think you're going?
280
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:30,251
Oh, we're, uh, just, uh, escorting
this alien into the, uh, alien place.
281
00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:32,918
I'm an alien! I'm an alien!
282
00:16:33,001 --> 00:16:36,293
Oh, come on. You expect me
to believe that this dipshit is an alien?
283
00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,626
Whoa! What the hell
is the matter with you?
284
00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:40,876
Did you not hear
that thing say it's an alien?
285
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:41,959
Yeah, but--
286
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,584
No buts. That's what aliens say.
"I'm an alien. I'm an alien."
287
00:16:45,668 --> 00:16:47,626
It just seemed
a little suspicious, is all.
288
00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:50,168
Strike two, Barry. Strike two.
289
00:16:50,251 --> 00:16:53,043
Gentlemen, Mr. Alien,
sorry to waste your time.
290
00:17:02,084 --> 00:17:04,293
Hey, Randall. I think I found her.
291
00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:09,501
Dusty, let me out! Let me out!
292
00:17:09,584 --> 00:17:10,834
Quit fucking around!
293
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,918
I'm an alien. I'm an alien.
294
00:17:18,876 --> 00:17:20,709
Hoo. I needed this.
295
00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:24,251
You know, it's the first time
I've had a chuckle since Mama died.
296
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,668
Speaking of…
297
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:26,751
There she is!
298
00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:30,293
Giddyap, Fitz! If we leave now,
we can make it to the funeral in time.
299
00:17:30,376 --> 00:17:31,876
What about Randall?!
300
00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:35,626
Aw. Fine. Let him out, party pooper.
301
00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,584
-I'm an alien. I'm an alien.
302
00:17:41,668 --> 00:17:43,293
Goop! This is gonna be good!
303
00:17:43,376 --> 00:17:45,751
It's such a blessing
to be able to laugh again.
304
00:17:51,668 --> 00:17:54,334
Almost there.
It's the next building on the right.
305
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:57,751
Just a little further.
306
00:17:57,834 --> 00:18:00,709
Okay! You can squeeze her ass
right into that booth.
307
00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,626
Booth? Wait a minute.
308
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:06,334
This ain't no funeral home!
It's Goopy fucking Goobers!
309
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:11,126
Okay. I maybe told
a teeny, tiny, little white lie.
310
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,668
Mama ain't dead. It's her birthday.
311
00:18:13,751 --> 00:18:16,626
I just tranquilized her
with this here elephant dart
312
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,793
so I could get her to her surprise party.
313
00:18:20,209 --> 00:18:21,084
Mama.
314
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,876
Mama, wake your fat ass up!
315
00:18:22,959 --> 00:18:24,334
-Surprise!
316
00:18:28,084 --> 00:18:29,834
Damn. She's dead as hell.
317
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:33,418
Okay, now I need you to help me
get Mama back to the house.
318
00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:35,584
She always wanted
to be buried in the basement.
319
00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:37,793
You gotta be kidding--
320
00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:43,876
Thester was right. Not a guard in sight.
321
00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:47,001
All we gotta do
is open this one unlocked door
322
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:50,626
and take out the implausibly
fragile load-bearing beam inside.
323
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:54,834
Then, Lovely Corp
will come tip-tap toppling down.
324
00:18:54,918 --> 00:18:56,543
Wait. Where's AFKAK?
325
00:18:56,626 --> 00:19:00,376
There's no time! It's now or never!
Somebody, open that unlocked door!
326
00:19:00,459 --> 00:19:01,584
Hey, don't look at me.
327
00:19:02,168 --> 00:19:03,584
-Oops.
328
00:19:03,668 --> 00:19:07,168
I destroy everything I touch.
329
00:19:07,251 --> 00:19:08,251
I'll do it.
330
00:19:08,334 --> 00:19:09,668
-Yow!
331
00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:13,959
Those door handles are pure silver
which the Macho Man can't touch
332
00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:17,209
since he was brought back
from the dead using evil magic.
333
00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:18,584
Oh yeah!
334
00:19:18,668 --> 00:19:20,668
Well, what about Camaro Bob, or Hobo-Cop?
335
00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:22,918
They went to buy beer for the after-party.
336
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:24,501
-Damn it!
-I could easily--
337
00:19:24,584 --> 00:19:28,459
Shut up, Norf! We need AFKAK.
He's got functioning hands.
338
00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:31,209
-Come in, AFKAK. Where the fuck are you?
339
00:19:36,084 --> 00:19:38,459
AFKAK, I repeat! Where are you?
340
00:19:38,543 --> 00:19:41,918
Sorry, resistance,
but I gotta save Gina.
341
00:19:42,001 --> 00:19:44,168
-Confirm break-in at Lovely Corp.
342
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,959
All Saddams ordered to headquarters.
343
00:19:50,543 --> 00:19:52,209
-Stop the wedding!
344
00:19:52,293 --> 00:19:54,668
Gina, you can't marry that man.
345
00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:55,793
Higher hair!
346
00:19:55,876 --> 00:19:58,834
Please! You are upsetting Mark Zuckerberg.
347
00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:02,334
There. Now you're not
under his spell anymore.
348
00:20:05,584 --> 00:20:07,376
What the hell is wrong with you?!
349
00:20:07,459 --> 00:20:11,126
The only reason you were marrying him
is because you were brainwashed by this.
350
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,793
You're insane. You think
the only reason I'm marrying him
351
00:20:13,876 --> 00:20:17,209
is because of some magical
brainwashing piece of jewelry?
352
00:20:17,293 --> 00:20:19,043
Yes. Why else would you do it?
353
00:20:19,126 --> 00:20:20,584
Because I love him!
354
00:20:20,668 --> 00:20:21,876
Since I got back into town,
355
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,584
you have done nothing
but try to sabotage my relationship
356
00:20:24,668 --> 00:20:26,709
with crazy conspiracy theories.
357
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,376
Honestly, with what we had,
358
00:20:28,459 --> 00:20:31,668
I thought you'd at least respect me
enough to let me be happy.
359
00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:35,043
Just go, Kevin.
I never wanna see you again.
360
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:41,876
Ooh. That's classic clone talk, baby.
Better check her clit again.
361
00:20:46,834 --> 00:20:48,584
Guys, wait. It's a trap!
362
00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:57,126
Norf, take these motherfuckers out using
anything from your waist to your ankles.
363
00:20:57,209 --> 00:21:02,793
Okay. I-I've got really bad gout
in my knees, but h-here goes.
364
00:21:02,876 --> 00:21:04,126
Take that!
365
00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:06,459
Hey! That sumbitch
tried to knee me and missed!
366
00:21:06,543 --> 00:21:07,376
Shoot him.
367
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:10,293
Norf? Norf!
368
00:21:10,376 --> 00:21:13,209
No! You killed Norf!
369
00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:17,959
He was my best friend!
And I loved him! I loved him dearly!
370
00:21:27,334 --> 00:21:30,501
Damn you, AFKAK Crawford!
Damn you to hell!
371
00:21:31,084 --> 00:21:33,168
My God. What have I done?
372
00:21:40,376 --> 00:21:44,084
My life has been a limp piece of shit
since I shot my dad in the balls,
373
00:21:44,168 --> 00:21:45,793
but this is a new low.
374
00:21:45,876 --> 00:21:49,543
I betrayed my friends,
I lost the love of my life,
375
00:21:49,626 --> 00:21:52,251
and worst of all, I killed Nerf.
376
00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,043
Or was it Norf?
377
00:21:56,668 --> 00:21:59,418
Goodbye, Paradise. Goodbye.