[anxious music plays]
Well, Kevin. It looks like you were right about Charles Lovely being evil.
What? Mr. Lovely probably just wanted to give us all a skyline view
to raise property values.
Ignore your mother. She goes into denial any time she fucks up.
Remember when she ran over your puppy?
He was a rapist.
Randall! Tell us you got a plan to save our skinny white asses!
Actually, I think Kevin should take the lead on this one.
-Really? -Yes.
I'm sorry I've been hard on you all these years, son.
I was too focused on turning you into the man I wanted you to be
to appreciate the whiny asshole you are. I'm proud of you.
Thanks, Dad.
We're gonna trust him?! But I'm too young to die!
I didn't even finish my fuck-it list.
Give me that.
A one-armed ventriloquist.
A fully plucked albatross.
Hordak from the She-Ra cartoon.
Huh. So far, same as mine.
Hey. Why are all our names on the list?
Why is mine crossed out?
You, uh, promise you're a woman over there?
[Hopson] I swear on my testicles.
Good enough for me.
[pop]
Hopson's right. With Kevin in charge, we're probably all gonna die today.
Well, I'm just bummed about all the things that Junior will never get to experience.
Well, let's give him all the best experiences of life
all in one day!
Yeah! That's a great idea! What's the first thing we should show him?
I got an idea.
No, Hopson!
Damn stick in the muds.
We have to get everyone off the city.
But I've gotta bust the resistance out first.
Norf says they're being held in the Lovely Fulfillment Center.
Norf looks like the man for the job
if that job is hosting an unpopular podcast
about Attack on Titan manga.
I better tag along in case you need some backup, big bro.
Great. Everyone else, try to figure out a way to make the city heavier
to push it back down to Earth.
Ugh, too bad we only have one Dusty.
Man, I can't believe I just said that.
Your wish is my command, Chief.
Ain't nothing heavier than a Marlow family reunion.
I'm working on a Evite.
You really think your family will come to a reunion
in a city that's hovering at 38,000 feet?
I think they will.
"All-you-care-to-eat homemade mac and cheese."
Send!
[airplanes approaching]
[projectiles whistling]
Whoo! Get ready to meet my cousins from around the world!
♪ Well, there's… ♪
[country music playing]
W-Wait a minute. All of your cousins are also named Dusty?
No. I just never bothered to learn their names.
My name is Randy.
Shut up, Cockeyed Dusty!
[theme music playing]
Now, Robby, don't forget you got that dentist appointment today.
Yeah, I was thinking about cancelling that shit.
Why?
Because the damn city is floating in the sky, and we all about to die.
You always got some excuse for not going to the dentist, Robby.
Last time, you said the town was a giant pizza.
It was! Our chair's a big-ass pepperoni!
I know our papasan's from Papa John's,
but you are not missing that appointment, mister.
Your mouth is a mess. I mean, half your teeth are white LEGOs.
You're just jealous 'cause I can do this.
You can spit out a helicopter?
I didn't just spit out a helicopter!
I spit out the entire Strawberry Action Squad.
[Strawberry Action Squad theme music playing]
♪ Strawberry Action Squad! ♪
[announcer] Strawberry Action Squad Playset!
Do not use as teeth.
[menacing music plays]
Parachute pants, prenatal vitamins,
prisoners, pregnancy porn.
Clappers, at least let me fold you up, baby.
No. Leave me crumpled-up in the corner where I belong.
This is what I deserve for getting Norf killed.
[Cal] Emotional pain hurts worse than anything.
Except stuffing croutons up your dick hole.
Why are you here?
Did Lovely find out that you're a rat?!
No, I live here.
Why would you work for that evil bastard?
I needed a job, and it was less toxic than working for Ellen.
Ah!
Hey, friendlies. Lay off my prison wife.
Who, me?
Yeah, you got the softest hands in here, baby.
Get over here and brush my hair.
Yes, dear.
Jerry, how's the escape plan going?
[bleats]
Great. Now, put yourself back together and go find the key.
I never said I could do that.
I know it's a little tight in here, but we gonna have a great family reunion.
There's plenty of food for all of us.
As long as we all equally share this cup of Kraft Easy Mac.
Ohhh!
[all munching]
Who ate my damn finger?!
My name is Randy.
Stop it, Old-Timey Saloon-Fight Dusty!
I'm about sick of my GD family!
Yeah! The Dusty family reunion is working!
The city has dropped 10,000 feet.
But if we're gonna get back to Earth, we need more Dustys.
Well, there are more Dustys,
but we never invite them to the family reunions,
'cause they a bit much.
But I suppose I could summon…
the Forbidden Dustys.
What the hell are you doing here?
You don't belong here, Live Action Dusty.
Kiss my ass, ya fartknocker.
Junior, Daddy's got some bad news.
Did you steal my piggy bank again to buy cocaine?
No. I mean, yeah.
But the good news is that doesn't matter,
because the bad news is that we're all gonna die today.
Fuck yeah! I love the way I talk when I'm on blow.
Don't worry. You're still gonna experience life to the fullest.
First, I'm gonna teach you to play the piccolo.
Even if we don't have time for anything else…
[chuckles] …what a way to go, huh?
Really? That's what you think our son should experience on his last day?
-Oh, do you have any better ideas? -[knocking]
Big Butter!
This is Big Butter.
Yeah, I-I-I got that.
Bullet, our son is not gonna sleep with a hooker.
Fine. It's my last day too.
If you don't mind, I am going to go churn that butter.
Big Butter!
Save that pillow talk, baby. Treat me like a piece of dry toast.
[menacing music plays]
Congrats on your new career as a Lovely Corp warehouse worker.
Where you'll get to work in a 102-degree warehouse,
walk 80 miles a day, and take bimonthly bathroom breaks.
Don't worry. You'll be issued a Lovely Corp Diaper.
It even comes with an asshole spike,
in case you get the nasty temptation to sit down.
This is a pretty sweet job. [chuckles] I used to work for Amazon.
Please see the monitor for information on the Warehouse Worker Union.
Hey. I think we should start a union.
-[demonic roaring] -[screaming]
There they are!
Hey, Kevin! Get us out! You'll need a key or some--
Uh… I think this is a dog's cage. There's not even a lock.
I told you someone else should've tried to open it!
Norf! You're alive!
Fuck you, Norf. I wasn't sad.
Well, I hear it's your first time at the dentist.
[chuckles] Don't be nervous. Hop on the chair and get ready.
First, we'll--
What are you doing?
Just saving you the trouble.
It's gonna be real hard to get my pants off once you gas me.
Sir, I-I-I don't do that.
Man, if you ain't gonna feed my dick croutons,
what kinda dentist are you?
Son, bird-watching is relaxing and educational.
Do you see that band-tailed pigeon?
Oh, it's got something on his leg.
Is that a Polaroid?
Oh!
Look away, Junior.
Junior?
Okay, kid. Take a look here.
This is grain alcohol. This is weed. This is Molly.
Just say no to these pussy drugs.
You're skipping these and going straight to heroin.
Remember that first time you tried ice cream?
You were like, "This is the greatest thing ever!"
Well, you're about to feel real stupid right now.
Bullet! What the hell are you doing?!
I don't know. Trying to give the kid a great last day?
Psh. You should be happy.
Heroin's the only thing that could make him enjoy fucking bird-watching.
-How dare you say that! -I guess we're gonna yell over each other!
Oh, I'll kill a motherfucker for saying that about bird-watching!
Stop it!
The only thing I wanna do on my last day
is spend it with my dads, doing my favorite thing.
You're right, Junior. This is nice.
Yes. It is.
Big Butter!
Yeah. Uh, Big Butter and I got married.
I decided it's my last day on Earth, so… [chuckles]
…I did some of your heroin, and here we are.
[Dustys whistling]
Here come them Forbidden Dustys!
[country music playing]
I know I wasn't supposed to slap both of them, but I can't help it.
My pimp hand is too goddamn strong!
Almost there.
One more small-to-medium-sized Dusty should do it.
Well, there's only one more Dusty, and he's a little on the big side.
Meet Big Chungus Dusty.
Goddamn! Why is he so big?
That's how big Dustys grow in the wild, silly.
[dental drill whirring]
What the fuck?!
[screaming]
[hellish music plays]
All right, Genius Dusty.
Can you figure out a way to get us back to Earth?
According to mine calculations,
if we all don't eat for the next 37 minutes--
I got a better idea.
[roars, grunts]
Thank you, 300 Dusty.
Actually, I'm Gerard Butler. Things have gone south, mate.
Vroom-vroom!
[sinister music plays]
Mmm. What do we have here?
In another life, I'd be swinging on that King Kong's ding-dong.
[Lovely clears throat]
Charles! Those idiots have grounded the city.
We have to act now, or the target could escape.
[button beeping]
There is no escape.
[button blaring]
-[victim screams] -[toilet flushes, burps]
Sorry about those holes in your tongue.
I've switched to my new Lovely Drill. Should be much safer.
[drill beeping]
-[whirring] -[groaning]
This is why I don't like the goddamn dentist.
You simpletons paid to bring my products into your homes.
They were so affordable, so convenient.
Like lambs to the slaughter.
Meh. Still as stupid than a giant pizza.
[dramatic music playing]
[vacuums beep]
See? Huh? What'd I tell you about these things?
[scoffs] Still think he's not evil, Karen?
What? Products attack people all the time.
It's true. An eggbeater went up my ass three times this week.
He works the breakfast shift at Denny's.
But you are in luck.
I only want Kevin Crawford.
No one else has to die.
Hey, a pretty sweet deal, I'd say. But why Kevin?
Obviously, I'm a romantic rival for his wife.
He sees me as a sexual threat.
Well, take me! Leave everyone else out of it!
Not you, AFKAK. I said Kevin Crawford.
[doll beeps]
Hey! I just realized there's something creepy about this doll.
[sinister music plays]
Stop! That's the son I do love!
Wait. I love both sons now. Weird.
He is mine now.
Also, small change of plans.
You do have to die.
[tense music playing]
I was born for this day.
This is for all dogs everywhere.
[roars]
-[vacuums whirring] -[whining]
Whoo. I'm glad I ain't got none of them products.
Don't you have a Lovely Corp Pacemaker?
[groans]
-[sizzling] -[screaming]
Thanks for saving me, Fitz.
Saving hell. It's a six-slice toaster! I'm taking this shit home!
[laughs]
I'll fight you, but only because I'm looking forward to the make-up snacks.
[hair clipper whirring]
-[buzzing] -[stammers, groans]
Great. Now I look bald!
Fight, Norf! Fight!
But you said I'm not on the team.
Since when do you listen to laundry?
But I'm scared.
Oh, I know you are. 'Cause my neck's covered in your piss!
That's right, Jerry! Now's our chance to kill all the Isotoner gloves!
They will mock us no more!
[rock music playing]
Good job taking out those products, Camaro Bob.
Don't thank me. I'm just drunk.
Thank God there weren't schoolkids this time, baby.
-[screaming] -[sizzling]
It's cooking my head!
Huh?!
Whoa. All these products are powered by Vlad.
Hey, Vlad. I need you to stop these smart products, or we're all dead.
[Vlad] Okay, but you have to let Vlad borrow your body, and you go see Bleemo.
To get the horse teeth?
[Vlad] No. Bleemo turn you into a centaur.
Wow! Metal shoes and a horse cock? Yes, please!
[Vlad] Deal. Setting all Lovely products' warranty expiration to one minute ago.
Fucking ow!
[suspenseful music playing]
Time to finish you off, vacuum.
[electricity crackles]
[eyes dinging]
[gasps] You're a girl vacuum?
[dreamy music playing]
[vacuum whirring]
Hey, fuck it. We're all gonna die.
Now, Delbert, I tried to go to the dentist,
but he drilled holes in my tongue,
and then the drill came to life and killed the goddamn dentist.
Sounds like more excuses to me, Robby.
So you ain't never gonna get your teeth fixed?
Oh, I did. I went to Bleemo.
He gave you horse teeth?
That ain't all.
[country music playing]
[dramatic music playing]
[grunts]
It's no use. Cal Fullerton broke off the handles.
He does have strong hands.
He made my tallywacker look like a used-up tube of, uh…
What's that dental pudding you Yanks use?
Mouth custard?
Ah, that's it. Mouth custard.
Look! Our clones are still inside!
There's a neural chair that could transfer our consciousness into those clones.
But the goddamn chair's inside too!
Actually, I ordered eight total to see which color went with the room.
Go take them down, Alpha Kevin.
Will do.
To the chairs!
[all] Yeah!
[cheering]
[stammers] Yeah, we're going to Brickleberry!
[tense music playing]
[electricity crackling]
[Randall] Yeah! We're in.
Wait. What the hell?
Aw, our bodies got all mixed up.
[Hopson] Well, oh boy. Look what you're packing, Fitz.
[Fitz] Stop looking at my dick, Hopson.
[Dusty] I can jump!
[inhales] For the first time in my life, I can jump!
[inhales] I'm a jumper, Mama!
The doctors said it was physically impossible!
[Bullet] My heart hurts, my pulse is racing,
and my saliva, ugh, it tastes like the floor of a Cinnabon.
[Karen] Ugh. My skin feels like wet tissue paper.
Hey! Whoever's in my body, get your hands off my tits!
[Kevin] It's definitely not Kevin, Mom. [laughs]
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
[giggling]
[Fitz] We need to jump back into the tanks and get unscrambled
before Hopson makes me blow myself.
[Hopson] Almost there. [strains]
Just a little closer.
[electricity crackling]
Everybody normal?
I'm pretty sure Kevin's not.
[giggling]
[cell phone rings, beeps]
You're going to need my help to get to the roof.
Look for a device in the center of the lobby.
It's a metal box that can transport you upwards.
An elevator?
Uh, you Americans and your silly words.
In England, we call it up-down dinga-ding ding-dong up-down room.
Now, I left exact copies of your clothes in that closet
to make things easier for the animators.
[sinister, dramatic music playing]
Now, make sure you only hit "roof access."
Lovely Corp has some pretty weird stuff on the lower floors.
Christmas tree! [laughs]
Dusty, no-- Goddamn it!
What do you think's gonna be on the other side that's so scary?
[elevator dings]
[suspenseful music plays]
[roaring]
Close door! Close door! Hit "close door"!
I'm hitting it! This button's a lie!
And only 95 more floors to go.
[elevator dings]
-[all screaming] -[air sucking]
[elevator beeps]
[elevator dings]
[both moaning]
Ooh. Well, this is weird.
-[moaning continues] -Why is the damn door still open?!
Oh, uh… Sorry.
-What? I like fantasy. -[elevator beeps]
[elevator dings]
What the…
I'm you, 20 minutes from now. It does not go well.
Well, tell us what happens.
You hate spoilers, Dusty.
Oh, you don't know me, bitch.
[suspenseful music plays]
[shock sting]
[sinister music plays]
Give me my brother back, you asshole!
Why do you cling to this dying world?
You are all doomed.
I have seen the future, and it is--
Ah, just get to the point!
Yeah. You're giving me a hard-off.
Yuck.
Ever since I first set eyes on this child and learned of his immortality,
I knew that he was what I was seeking.
Soon, when the planets align,
I shall consume the Crawford child's essence
to gain immortality.
Like hell you are!
[grunts]
-It is so important to marry well. -[fingers snap]
[Gina grunts]
Stay back!
You made me bite my tongue, you bitch!
Gina, you can't let him do this.
Stay out of it, Kevin! You're gonna ruin everything!
[wind howling]
[menacing music plays]
The Eternal Reckoning shall begin!
[menacing music playing]
See? It's shit like this why I don't like capitalism.
Yes. Yes.
[groans]
Freeze, you creepy fuck, or I'm putting one between your eyes!
Gina! You're undercover?
Yeah, and you almost blew it for me a dozen times.
I don't get it. Did you join the FBI or something after you ran off?
[scoffs] FBI? That's pussy shit.
I joined the Strawberry Action Squad.
♪ Strawberry Action Squad ♪
♪ Fighting bad guys and crushing puss ♪
♪ Strawberry Action Squad ♪
♪ We've got Strawberry Marlow ♪
♪ Lieutenant Friskers ♪
♪ Johnny Pecs ♪
♪ Lenny the Laser Lizard ♪
♪ The leprechaun made of rocks ♪
♪ Kung fu kangaroo Charles Bronson's ghost ♪
♪ A robot, a giant talking squid ♪
♪ And Wilbur the Karate Wizard ♪
♪ Strawberry Action Squad ♪
[all roaring]
[tense music playing]
No! Not my higher hair!
It's time to feel the wrath of My Pillow.
[My Pillow crumbles]
Holy shit! This pillow is made of crack!
[music continues]
Eat blarney stone, you fecking prick.
[grunts, groaning]
You wanna know why they call me Johnny Pecs?
Because of your pecs?
Uh-huh.
[music continues]
Ha ha. I wanna fight the old man in the bathrobe.
Actually, I'm a karate wizard.
[magical chiming]
[music continues, stops]
Wow. Alpha Kevin.
Yeah. That's what they call me now.
[Bullet] No, we don't!
Kevin, I'm sorry I couldn't tell you about my mission,
but I never stopped loving you.
[sentimental music playing]
[Kevin] Mmm.
-You feel better than Mom's tits. -What?
We've been surveilling this creepy sumbitch Charles Lovely for years.
Thanks to our new member, we got him red-damn-handed.
But how did Gina end up in the Strawberry Action Squad?
After I lost control at our wedding,
I just wanted to get as far away as possible.
Siberia.
[wind howling]
[Strawberry] For fun, sometimes I like to enter myself
in Siberian bare-knuckle death matches.
Lo and behold, my opponent was your little blonde firecracker
with the crazy eyes.
I never fought anyone with such brute strength,
and she'd never fought anyone trained in the art of Brazilian slap-fighting.
The fight ended in a draw.
-[Dusty] Diddy! -Not now, boy.
I taught Gina how to control and channel her aggression through--
Diddy, look!
[sinister music plays]
No! Baby Kevin!
[sobbing] No!
Why didn't you say something, fat boy? You know how I am when I get to talking.
Randall! What are we gonna do?!
♪ Pump up the jam, pump it up While your feet are stompin' ♪
♪ And the jam is pumpin' Look it here, the crowd is jumpin' ♪
♪ Pump it up a little more Get the party going on the dance floor ♪
♪ See, 'cause that's where the party's at And you'll find out if you're too bad ♪
Ugh. Kill me.
[original Paradise PD theme music playing]
Wait a minute. Why would a series finale have a cliffhanger?
'Cause we didn't know this was a series finale when we made it.
Oh yeah.
I guess we can wrap this up on Farzar then?
Yeah, I guess so.
-Bye, everybody. -Bye.
I guess we're dead now. Bye.
Damn, that's dark, Robby.
[music continues]
[screams]