1 00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,577 I like cardio. 2 00:00:07,337 --> 00:00:08,817 That's why I ran away and came here. 3 00:00:09,257 --> 00:00:11,137 New friends. A new life. 4 00:00:11,217 --> 00:00:12,897 But no matter how far we run, 5 00:00:13,697 --> 00:00:15,857 can we really run away from ourselves? 6 00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:32,577 Hi! 7 00:00:34,097 --> 00:00:36,697 Oh...sa...ka... 8 00:00:37,057 --> 00:00:37,977 Osaka. 9 00:00:38,417 --> 00:00:39,657 You don't look Japanese. 10 00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:40,417 No, no... 11 00:00:40,817 --> 00:00:41,537 It's Umang. 12 00:00:41,617 --> 00:00:42,857 I know, Umang. 13 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,337 We've met before. At the gym. Remember? 14 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:46,297 Come in. 15 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:49,777 This way. 16 00:00:49,857 --> 00:00:52,657 This film is very important for my career. 17 00:00:52,737 --> 00:00:54,657 I mean, a woman reaches a certain age... 18 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:56,417 ...and the movies just dry up. 19 00:00:56,497 --> 00:00:58,217 You know, all these 50 year old film stars... 20 00:00:58,297 --> 00:01:00,657 ...they all want 22 year old heroines. 21 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:01,617 So... 22 00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:03,337 I'm producing this film. 23 00:01:03,817 --> 00:01:06,857 It's about an ordinary middle class Indian girl... 24 00:01:06,937 --> 00:01:11,417 ...who goes on to becoming India's first MMA World Champion. 25 00:01:11,497 --> 00:01:12,617 Against all odds! 26 00:01:13,537 --> 00:01:14,177 So... 27 00:01:14,257 --> 00:01:15,817 I have to look like I can fuckin' fight! 28 00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:18,657 And when I walked into the gym and saw you bench a 100... 29 00:01:19,377 --> 00:01:20,257 ...I knew right away... 30 00:01:20,817 --> 00:01:22,977 ...that only you can train me. 31 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,897 So... am I being too ambitious? 32 00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:27,377 No...possible... 33 00:01:27,457 --> 00:01:28,617 Not possible? 34 00:01:28,937 --> 00:01:30,017 Ah! Shit! 35 00:01:30,097 --> 00:01:31,177 I knew it wouldn't be possible. 36 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,857 No, no, I meant... 37 00:01:32,937 --> 00:01:33,697 ...of course it's possible. 38 00:01:33,777 --> 00:01:35,257 Why isn't it possible? Anything is possible! 39 00:01:35,337 --> 00:01:36,857 I mean take the word 'impossible' for instance. 40 00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:39,137 It has 'I-M-POSSIBLE' hidden in it. 41 00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:41,617 #sweatisfatcrying #knowhowtogohome 42 00:01:41,697 --> 00:01:42,977 #liftallday 43 00:01:43,057 --> 00:01:46,777 Just have a little faith and it's going to be absolutely... 44 00:01:47,177 --> 00:01:48,297 Oh! 45 00:01:50,097 --> 00:01:51,097 Oh! 46 00:01:52,177 --> 00:01:54,897 Did you smoke up before coming here? 47 00:01:54,977 --> 00:01:55,697 No. 48 00:01:56,577 --> 00:01:57,297 Sorry... 49 00:02:05,617 --> 00:02:07,217 I'm such an ass! 50 00:02:14,337 --> 00:02:16,017 Don't look at me like that... 51 00:02:16,577 --> 00:02:18,657 Are you going to now tax me for looking at you? 52 00:02:18,737 --> 00:02:20,537 Umi, we were young and naïve back then. 53 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:21,857 Naïve... 54 00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:23,857 I'm now 24... 55 00:02:24,497 --> 00:02:26,017 I want to get married... 56 00:02:26,097 --> 00:02:27,417 Fast for my husband... 57 00:02:27,497 --> 00:02:28,497 I want kids... 58 00:02:29,577 --> 00:02:30,657 Just not with me. 59 00:02:32,857 --> 00:02:34,137 Haven't you studied biology? 60 00:02:34,257 --> 00:02:35,777 When you're with me, 61 00:02:35,857 --> 00:02:37,497 I understand biology a little better. 62 00:02:39,057 --> 00:02:42,297 Umi, the sooner you understand this, the better. 63 00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,097 We have no future together. 64 00:02:44,977 --> 00:02:45,697 Why? 65 00:02:46,137 --> 00:02:46,977 Who says so? 66 00:02:48,417 --> 00:02:51,297 Because only a privileged few have the right to fall in love. 67 00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:53,937 The rest of us have to get married. 68 00:02:54,657 --> 00:02:57,057 'We have to do this, we have to be responsible...' 69 00:02:57,137 --> 00:02:59,737 Since when have you started wallowing in this kind of nonsense? 70 00:02:59,817 --> 00:03:02,657 C'mon, let's run away to Mumbai together! 71 00:03:04,097 --> 00:03:05,977 What shenanigans are the two of you up to? 72 00:03:07,097 --> 00:03:08,657 We were just doing some cardio. 73 00:03:08,737 --> 00:03:10,577 Trying to get some running practice going. 74 00:03:11,497 --> 00:03:13,937 Pinky, you're looking so pretty in this pink outfit. 75 00:03:14,457 --> 00:03:16,577 I'm starving. Make me something to eat... 76 00:03:16,657 --> 00:03:17,857 Of course, in a minute. 77 00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:20,017 And you... 78 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,857 ...go get me some water. 79 00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:25,737 How about you jump in a well and drown yourself! 80 00:03:25,817 --> 00:03:27,737 Who's going to marry you if you keep up this attitude? 81 00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:30,097 Unlike you, I'm not desperate to get married. 82 00:03:31,737 --> 00:03:32,897 Insolent! 83 00:03:37,057 --> 00:03:39,297 How do you even kiss him? 84 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:40,857 Doesn't he make you want to puke? 85 00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:42,777 He's your brother... 86 00:03:43,377 --> 00:03:44,577 ...for me, just a husband. 87 00:04:37,657 --> 00:04:39,777 I told you, you've put on weight Siddhi. 88 00:04:40,217 --> 00:04:41,177 What is this? 89 00:04:42,017 --> 00:04:43,697 Deepika, what are we going to do with this girl? 90 00:04:43,777 --> 00:04:44,737 Sneha, relax. 91 00:04:45,297 --> 00:04:47,017 I've worked on such cases before. 92 00:04:47,337 --> 00:04:49,417 I had a client who's lost 40 kilos. 93 00:04:50,177 --> 00:04:52,217 But you know my chums are going to start in a few days... 94 00:04:52,337 --> 00:04:54,417 So maybe it's the water retention... -Siddhi, please. 95 00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:57,337 This is not water retention. 96 00:04:58,137 --> 00:05:00,337 You know, we have a community temple in New Jersey... 97 00:05:00,457 --> 00:05:02,497 We have a matchmaker there, Mrs. Desai. 98 00:05:02,977 --> 00:05:04,897 I sent her Siddhi's portfolio. 99 00:05:05,777 --> 00:05:08,297 You know, the bitch turned around and told me... 100 00:05:08,337 --> 00:05:10,217 ...once Siddhi is a size zero, 101 00:05:10,297 --> 00:05:12,737 send me her new portfolio. 102 00:05:13,497 --> 00:05:14,497 Can you imagine? 103 00:05:15,217 --> 00:05:17,697 Okay Siddhi, we'll put you on the PC plan. 104 00:05:17,777 --> 00:05:19,217 Priyanka Chopra's diet plan? 105 00:05:19,297 --> 00:05:19,897 No. 106 00:05:20,017 --> 00:05:20,737 PC. 107 00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,337 Portion Control. 108 00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:27,297 From now, you will eat as much in quantity... 109 00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:29,177 ...and in variety as a 10 month baby. 110 00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:30,617 I'm guaranteeing you... 111 00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,217 3 kilos a week loss. 112 00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:35,857 So spinach soup, lentil water, mashed veggies... 113 00:05:35,937 --> 00:05:37,057 Baby formula! 114 00:05:39,257 --> 00:05:40,777 Oh sorry, you're being serious. 115 00:05:41,697 --> 00:05:43,777 This is all my mother-in-law's fault. 116 00:05:44,257 --> 00:05:45,337 When I was pregnant, 117 00:05:45,417 --> 00:05:48,777 she would feed me high calorie sweets everyday! 118 00:05:48,857 --> 00:05:52,257 Siddhi's birth weight was 4.1 kilos. 119 00:05:52,657 --> 00:05:54,177 I had to get 8 stitches. 120 00:05:54,257 --> 00:05:57,497 And, of course, I've had to spend a fortune on tightening procedures! 121 00:05:57,577 --> 00:05:59,017 And all your friends... 122 00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,457 ...are size zero. 123 00:06:00,937 --> 00:06:01,817 Zero. 124 00:06:01,897 --> 00:06:03,097 I'm also size zero. 125 00:06:03,177 --> 00:06:04,577 Except there's a one in front. 126 00:06:17,697 --> 00:06:20,417 23 years it took me to figure out why Sneha hates my guts. 127 00:06:20,817 --> 00:06:21,417 Yes! 128 00:06:21,977 --> 00:06:23,857 Because I tore her vagina to shreds. 129 00:06:23,937 --> 00:06:24,817 Poor thing... 130 00:06:24,897 --> 00:06:26,817 I wonder what she feels during an orgasm. 131 00:06:26,897 --> 00:06:28,297 Ewww! That's my mom! 132 00:06:28,817 --> 00:06:31,537 I've heard there are creams for vagina tightening and lightening. 133 00:06:31,857 --> 00:06:32,297 What?! 134 00:06:32,377 --> 00:06:34,897 Which means men want fair and glowing down there as well. 135 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,737 But of course, it must glow in the dark. 136 00:06:37,817 --> 00:06:38,497 Yes! 137 00:06:39,177 --> 00:06:40,017 Losers! 138 00:06:40,097 --> 00:06:41,217 You guys cheat too much. 139 00:06:41,297 --> 00:06:42,737 In any case, after Arya's birth, I'm sure I look like a... 140 00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,297 ...train wreck down there. 141 00:06:44,377 --> 00:06:45,017 What do you mean? 142 00:06:45,337 --> 00:06:46,817 Do you bathe with your eyes closed? 143 00:06:46,897 --> 00:06:48,857 Guys, it has no use for me. 144 00:06:48,937 --> 00:06:50,937 I haven't had sex since Arya was born. 145 00:06:51,697 --> 00:06:54,057 Anj...Arya's almost four. 146 00:06:55,777 --> 00:06:57,857 Plus half my pregnancy. 147 00:06:57,937 --> 00:06:59,337 Regrown virginity. 148 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:00,537 It's an actual term. 149 00:07:00,617 --> 00:07:01,337 I've read about it. 150 00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:02,537 You mean the hymen grows back? 151 00:07:02,617 --> 00:07:05,097 It's not exactly a lizard's tail that will grow back when it wants to! 152 00:07:05,497 --> 00:07:08,217 But serious doubt... how do you masturbate? 153 00:07:12,617 --> 00:07:13,497 I don't. 154 00:07:13,577 --> 00:07:14,937 Oh my goodness! Seriously? 155 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:18,217 Why are you shouldering the burden of the whole world? 156 00:07:18,297 --> 00:07:19,977 You just...really need to relax. 157 00:07:20,617 --> 00:07:21,817 Do any of you have a compact? 158 00:07:21,897 --> 00:07:22,737 No... 159 00:07:26,057 --> 00:07:26,937 Thank you. 160 00:07:27,257 --> 00:07:29,417 Go to the loo and make friends with Vagayanti. 161 00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:31,377 Vagayanti is your one. 162 00:07:31,457 --> 00:07:33,017 Mine is more like... 163 00:07:34,617 --> 00:07:35,577 Ms.VeeVee. 164 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,257 VeeVee rhymes with PeePee... I like it. 165 00:07:38,337 --> 00:07:40,657 Guys, that's my most expensive compact. 166 00:07:40,737 --> 00:07:41,537 So? 167 00:07:41,617 --> 00:07:43,577 She's not slipping it in... just taking a sneak peak. 168 00:07:43,657 --> 00:07:46,577 Ms.VeeVee must have spun cobwebs down there by now. 169 00:07:46,657 --> 00:07:48,657 Don't behave so badly with the poor thing! 170 00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:49,497 Ahem. 171 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:52,017 You ladies done discussing your lady parts? 172 00:07:52,457 --> 00:07:55,137 In fact, now we're discussing gent's parts. 173 00:07:55,217 --> 00:07:57,617 So...how big is yours? 174 00:08:24,577 --> 00:08:25,377 Oh. 175 00:08:26,817 --> 00:08:28,337 Okay so... 176 00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:30,097 ...there you are. 177 00:08:31,617 --> 00:08:32,937 Ms.VeeVee... 178 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:36,617 ...any cobwebs yet? 179 00:08:37,937 --> 00:08:38,697 Nope. 180 00:08:39,737 --> 00:08:40,737 I'm strong. 181 00:08:41,737 --> 00:08:42,737 How strong? 182 00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:45,617 Can you shoot out ping pong balls? 183 00:08:47,937 --> 00:08:49,817 Well, I did shoot Arya out after all. 184 00:08:51,217 --> 00:08:53,297 There's a pool table outside. 185 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:56,737 Do you want to try with a cue ball? 186 00:08:57,497 --> 00:08:58,177 Fuck! 187 00:08:59,057 --> 00:09:00,417 This is ridiculous! 188 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,137 Fuck! 189 00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:07,857 But... 190 00:09:08,457 --> 00:09:11,617 ...why is it ridiculous Anjana? 191 00:09:13,257 --> 00:09:14,217 Don't I... 192 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:17,297 ...deserve a little fun? 193 00:09:17,697 --> 00:09:18,457 Fun? 194 00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:23,937 Do you remember all the crazy things we did with Varun? 195 00:09:24,017 --> 00:09:26,177 Sometimes four times in a night! 196 00:09:29,457 --> 00:09:31,617 He was our Mount Vesuvius. 197 00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:33,257 And he destroyed everything... 198 00:09:33,337 --> 00:09:34,857 ...that came in his path! 199 00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:37,057 Fuck! 200 00:09:39,297 --> 00:09:41,497 No, no, please keep it! Sanitize it. 201 00:09:54,857 --> 00:09:55,697 Thank you boys. 202 00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:56,577 Bye, Sir. 203 00:09:56,617 --> 00:09:57,417 See you tomorrow. 204 00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,217 -Bye, Sir. -See you tomorrow. 205 00:09:58,297 --> 00:09:58,937 Goodnight, Sir. 206 00:09:59,857 --> 00:10:00,497 Jeh... 207 00:10:02,737 --> 00:10:03,737 There's something out there... 208 00:10:05,217 --> 00:10:05,977 Rats! 209 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,577 I'm just kidding. Here... 210 00:10:13,337 --> 00:10:15,057 Wow...look what I found! 211 00:10:15,137 --> 00:10:16,617 Hey there little boy... 212 00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,497 Yuck. 213 00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:20,937 Oh my God...he's so dirty! 214 00:10:21,617 --> 00:10:23,017 He'll be clean. Once he has a bath. 215 00:10:23,097 --> 00:10:24,177 Once he has a bath. 216 00:10:24,617 --> 00:10:26,137 So you're not a dog person? 217 00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:27,337 What is a dog person? 218 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:28,217 You know... 219 00:10:28,857 --> 00:10:29,737 Loving. 220 00:10:29,857 --> 00:10:30,497 Loyal. 221 00:10:30,617 --> 00:10:32,217 I am loving, loyal. 222 00:10:32,817 --> 00:10:34,217 -But selectively. -Which means you're a dog person. 223 00:10:34,297 --> 00:10:35,177 Oh God! 224 00:10:35,497 --> 00:10:36,857 Okay! Fine! If you insist. 225 00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:40,697 What are you going to do with it now? 226 00:10:41,417 --> 00:10:42,097 I don't know. 227 00:10:42,497 --> 00:10:44,177 My building doesn't allow pets. 228 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:47,097 But I will take him to a shelter in Lonavala. 229 00:10:47,177 --> 00:10:47,857 Tomorrow. 230 00:10:47,937 --> 00:10:49,337 Why don't you keep him for the night? 231 00:10:49,737 --> 00:10:50,697 No! 232 00:10:51,177 --> 00:10:53,057 I mean since we've all found out you're a dog person. 233 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:54,937 No! No! No way! -Please... 234 00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:56,377 C'mon... -No way! 235 00:10:56,457 --> 00:10:58,737 Oh my God! Even a cactus doesn't survive in my house! 236 00:10:58,817 --> 00:10:59,497 And this... 237 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,857 C'mon! One night... 238 00:11:00,937 --> 00:11:01,857 Just one night! 239 00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:02,817 I mean, look at him... 240 00:11:03,257 --> 00:11:05,617 How can you say no to him? -No! No! No Jeh! 241 00:11:05,697 --> 00:11:06,337 Noooo! 242 00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:33,257 Eat. 243 00:12:21,417 --> 00:12:22,017 Mohit? 244 00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:23,017 Siddhi! -Hi! 245 00:12:23,497 --> 00:12:26,057 This picnic thing for a first date is such a good idea! 246 00:12:26,137 --> 00:12:26,737 Thank you. 247 00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:28,737 You look fantastic! 248 00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:29,777 Thank you. 249 00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:31,617 But that empire line is not working for you. 250 00:12:32,297 --> 00:12:32,817 Nah. 251 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,017 Oh God. 252 00:12:35,657 --> 00:12:36,737 Turns out Mummy's boy is not straight? 253 00:12:36,817 --> 00:12:37,337 Sorry? 254 00:12:37,817 --> 00:12:39,617 That's popular code for 'you're gay'. 255 00:12:40,217 --> 00:12:42,057 Except for my mother, everyone knows. 256 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,177 Wait hang on. Does that mean this date is off? 257 00:12:44,257 --> 00:12:45,177 Hell no! 258 00:12:45,257 --> 00:12:45,817 Let's go! 259 00:12:50,297 --> 00:12:52,417 So...plump girl, gay boy. 260 00:12:52,497 --> 00:12:54,137 You realize we could be our own rom-com. 261 00:12:54,217 --> 00:12:55,217 Please. Not in India. 262 00:12:55,297 --> 00:12:57,777 Here, they will find some way to get us married in the end. 263 00:12:58,097 --> 00:12:58,977 Can I say something? 264 00:12:59,057 --> 00:13:00,577 This little extra weight looks nice on you. 265 00:13:00,657 --> 00:13:01,657 Makes your face glow. 266 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:02,537 Thank you! 267 00:13:02,617 --> 00:13:03,497 I was double your size. 268 00:13:04,297 --> 00:13:04,897 So then? 269 00:13:04,977 --> 00:13:05,617 Zumba? 270 00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:06,537 That too. 271 00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:07,937 But I had one apple a day. 272 00:13:08,377 --> 00:13:10,017 Now my immunity is fucked. 273 00:13:10,097 --> 00:13:11,537 I'm constipated all the time. 274 00:13:11,617 --> 00:13:12,777 But. Look on the bright side. 275 00:13:12,857 --> 00:13:14,617 I can fit into any Tom Ford suit I want so... 276 00:13:14,697 --> 00:13:15,497 ...what the fuck do I care. 277 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,377 So one second, you're saying I should just have an apple a day? 278 00:13:18,457 --> 00:13:20,657 No, no, men love curves. 279 00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:21,737 Dogs love bones. 280 00:13:21,817 --> 00:13:23,417 Please. Say that to them. 281 00:13:23,897 --> 00:13:25,457 Just look at them. So skinny. 282 00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:28,377 It's like looking at them in 2D. I just want to...kill them. 283 00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:29,977 The sound of their earrings dangling... 284 00:13:30,057 --> 00:13:31,457 ...echoes through their skulls! 285 00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:32,737 They're so like... 286 00:13:32,817 --> 00:13:34,417 weird...strange... 287 00:13:34,497 --> 00:13:36,177 They have to use 10 Instagram filters on every picture... 288 00:13:36,257 --> 00:13:37,537 ...just to look half decent. 289 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,777 One second, look at that one okay. 290 00:13:39,097 --> 00:13:39,737 Virgin. 291 00:13:40,097 --> 00:13:41,177 That one is just ugly. 292 00:13:41,257 --> 00:13:42,457 Slutty Angel. 293 00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:44,377 And that one's a vegetarian. 294 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,457 You know what that means, right? 295 00:13:46,817 --> 00:13:47,937 That will never happen. 296 00:13:48,337 --> 00:13:50,337 Listen, I've no fucking idea what you're saying... 297 00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:51,577 But I love you! 298 00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:54,457 I think you need some affirmation from the world. 299 00:13:55,137 --> 00:13:55,457 Okay... 300 00:13:55,537 --> 00:13:57,577 I'll give you an idea. It will change your life. 301 00:13:57,657 --> 00:13:58,097 What? 302 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,017 Seriously? Sexy lingerie? 303 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:07,097 Even better. 304 00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:21,377 Hey Damini... 305 00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:25,857 Hi! Dr. Warsi...what a surprise. 306 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,617 You live around here? 307 00:14:27,937 --> 00:14:29,177 Ya...just round the corner. 308 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:30,737 Nice. 309 00:14:31,377 --> 00:14:32,097 Me too. 310 00:14:36,457 --> 00:14:37,217 I got my periods. 311 00:14:39,697 --> 00:14:40,377 That's good. 312 00:14:40,457 --> 00:14:41,417 Ya...relieved! 313 00:14:44,257 --> 00:14:45,337 I got to go... 314 00:14:45,857 --> 00:14:46,857 ...because of puppy. 315 00:14:47,217 --> 00:14:47,897 You have a pet? 316 00:14:47,977 --> 00:14:49,617 No, no, not my pet. 317 00:14:49,697 --> 00:14:51,017 I'm taking care of a dog... 318 00:14:51,097 --> 00:14:52,177 ...for a few days. 319 00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:53,097 Are you feeding it? 320 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:54,937 Of course! Of course. 321 00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:56,217 I've kept him in my spare bathroom for now. 322 00:14:56,297 --> 00:14:57,817 I've laid out newspaper all over the floor. 323 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,857 He poops and pisses on it. 324 00:14:58,937 --> 00:15:00,377 It's just easy to wrap and throw away. 325 00:15:00,457 --> 00:15:02,257 But shouldn't you be taking him out for it? 326 00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,137 Walk the dog, Damini. 327 00:15:06,777 --> 00:15:07,497 You're right. 328 00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:08,937 Leaving now... 329 00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:09,977 ...walking the dog. 330 00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:11,617 Bye. 331 00:15:11,697 --> 00:15:12,337 Your... 332 00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:14,737 Drink. 333 00:15:14,817 --> 00:15:15,577 So sorry. 334 00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:17,897 See you... 335 00:15:26,977 --> 00:15:27,777 C'mon! 336 00:15:28,977 --> 00:15:30,857 His Holy Dogness! Come, come. 337 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:32,097 Come, come. 338 00:15:32,617 --> 00:15:33,977 Oh what a good boy. Come, come, puppy. 339 00:15:35,337 --> 00:15:36,177 Come, come. 340 00:15:41,497 --> 00:15:41,977 Hello... 341 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:44,377 What? 342 00:15:48,937 --> 00:15:49,617 What do you mean? 343 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,097 Is there any such thing as a shelter not having place? 344 00:15:56,977 --> 00:15:58,257 You can't do this to me, Jeh. 345 00:15:59,977 --> 00:16:01,817 But you had said one day, remember? 346 00:16:01,897 --> 00:16:02,857 Just one day. 347 00:16:03,417 --> 00:16:05,257 No, no, not later! 348 00:16:05,337 --> 00:16:07,617 You cannot hang up on me! Hello? 349 00:16:09,097 --> 00:16:09,657 Jeh! 350 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:19,497 Thank you universe! 351 00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,217 And here's your pancake... 352 00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:28,817 Leave this for now and eat. 353 00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:33,177 Do you want some jam? 354 00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:34,697 Honey? 355 00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,857 Then what do you want baby? 356 00:16:37,937 --> 00:16:40,377 This is not how Kavya aunty makes it. 357 00:16:41,617 --> 00:16:43,417 Then how does Kavya aunty make it, baby? 358 00:16:43,497 --> 00:16:44,257 Teddy shape. 359 00:16:48,417 --> 00:16:50,137 Here's your teddy, okay? 360 00:16:50,497 --> 00:16:54,977 Eyes, nose, smile. 361 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:55,737 Ears. 362 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:57,977 That's your teddy pancake, okay. Now eat. 363 00:16:58,537 --> 00:17:00,337 This is not how Kavya aunty makes it. 364 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:01,577 Arya baby! 365 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:04,417 No more Kavya aunty in this house, okay? 366 00:17:04,497 --> 00:17:06,177 I call her Pooky aunty. 367 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,057 Dadda also calls her Pooky. 368 00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:18,937 I bet... 369 00:17:19,017 --> 00:17:20,777 ...Pooky aunty's vagina... 370 00:17:20,897 --> 00:17:22,617 ...isn't a haunted house... 371 00:17:23,057 --> 00:17:24,457 ...covered in cobwebs. 372 00:17:25,657 --> 00:17:30,057 I saw Vesuvius when it was really active. 373 00:17:31,777 --> 00:17:33,457 It must've sobered down by now. 374 00:17:34,377 --> 00:17:36,057 So...she can have him now. 375 00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:42,617 But you do miss the hot, molten, lava. 376 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:44,777 Don't you? 377 00:17:48,897 --> 00:17:49,937 Mama, what happened? 378 00:17:51,017 --> 00:17:52,217 Nothing baby. 379 00:17:52,297 --> 00:17:53,257 Bad dream. 380 00:17:58,737 --> 00:18:00,257 A teddy bear pancake. 381 00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:02,977 I mean what the hell is that! 382 00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:07,057 And why is she making teddy bear pancakes for my daughter?! 383 00:18:07,137 --> 00:18:09,537 Can't you spend a minute without uttering her name? 384 00:18:09,657 --> 00:18:11,257 You're using her name like a vowel. 385 00:18:11,297 --> 00:18:13,137 If you take Kavya's name one more time, 386 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:14,497 then you'll have to take a shot. 387 00:18:14,537 --> 00:18:15,417 Ya. -Ya. 388 00:18:15,737 --> 00:18:16,937 Why are you punishing me? 389 00:18:17,017 --> 00:18:19,617 It's that Kavya who's just trying to... -Oh my God. Jeh! One shot please. 390 00:18:19,697 --> 00:18:22,257 Hey! If Kavya is not... -Make that two please! 391 00:18:22,297 --> 00:18:24,777 Guys, I'm just trying to make you understand that Kavya... 392 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:25,777 Three shots! 393 00:18:26,217 --> 00:18:27,177 God! 394 00:18:29,937 --> 00:18:31,297 Keep the bottle. You're going to need it. 395 00:18:32,057 --> 00:18:33,137 Jeh, you too? 396 00:18:34,297 --> 00:18:36,537 Seriously, I heard you say that name so many times... 397 00:18:36,617 --> 00:18:37,937 ...that I just called Bosco back there Kavya. 398 00:18:39,297 --> 00:18:39,777 He did. 399 00:18:41,217 --> 00:18:42,057 Here. 400 00:18:42,177 --> 00:18:43,497 C'mon, c'mon... Let's go, let's go... 401 00:18:43,537 --> 00:18:45,617 Seriously? 402 00:18:45,697 --> 00:18:46,857 C'mon! Yeah! 403 00:18:46,937 --> 00:18:48,777 C'mon for Kavya! 404 00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:57,417 Damini... 405 00:18:58,017 --> 00:18:59,617 ...the rape country video story? 406 00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:02,057 I know. Two million hits already! 407 00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,137 But we're also getting trolled badly. 408 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:09,177 I have never seen such hatred and so many trolls in my life. 409 00:19:09,737 --> 00:19:13,737 Rizvi Roy, you fuckin' bitch! 410 00:19:15,057 --> 00:19:17,257 It's time to show her what her true worth is! 411 00:19:17,297 --> 00:19:19,537 #worthlessdramaqueen 412 00:19:21,657 --> 00:19:25,057 Paid media libtard presstitutes in Investigator.com... 413 00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:26,297 ...should all be raped. 414 00:19:26,697 --> 00:19:30,217 Damini's mother is H.O.A.R. Father is pimp. 415 00:19:30,297 --> 00:19:32,057 She should've been aborted. 416 00:19:32,937 --> 00:19:35,377 H.O.A.R? I think he means whore. 417 00:19:37,497 --> 00:19:38,617 Can we track these people down? 418 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,857 I mean some are unemployed losers. 419 00:19:40,937 --> 00:19:43,177 Others are digital agencies in China, Russia... 420 00:19:43,257 --> 00:19:44,417 ...and even right here. 421 00:19:44,497 --> 00:19:47,537 Hired by political parties to further their own damn agendas. 422 00:19:47,657 --> 00:19:49,057 Cheap internet connections, 423 00:19:49,177 --> 00:19:51,297 anonymous handle, egg for a display picture 424 00:19:51,377 --> 00:19:52,617 and then just attack people. 425 00:19:52,937 --> 00:19:56,297 You know what, the problem is there's zero bloody accountability. 426 00:19:57,857 --> 00:19:59,057 So then that's our story. 427 00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:01,057 Let's unmask them. 428 00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:03,697 Let's hunt each one of these assholes 429 00:20:03,777 --> 00:20:05,457 and drag them out of their hiding places. 430 00:20:05,777 --> 00:20:06,457 Let's do it! 431 00:20:06,937 --> 00:20:07,377 Ya. 432 00:20:10,537 --> 00:20:11,297 Damini! 433 00:20:11,897 --> 00:20:13,137 Sorry Uma, I'm just in a middle of something… 434 00:20:13,217 --> 00:20:13,737 I'll just join you. 435 00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:16,537 I'd like you to meet Akanksha Moitra. 436 00:20:17,137 --> 00:20:21,457 A Columbia University graduate in journalism and a... 437 00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:22,737 ...Bengali just like you. 438 00:20:23,137 --> 00:20:23,497 Okay. 439 00:20:23,537 --> 00:20:24,257 Hi! 440 00:20:24,297 --> 00:20:25,297 Hi. -Lovely to meet you… 441 00:20:25,417 --> 00:20:26,017 Same here. 442 00:20:26,777 --> 00:20:29,217 And she's also a Fulbright scholar. 443 00:20:29,297 --> 00:20:32,617 She's just finished her internship with The Star in New York. 444 00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:34,657 The Star as in the tabloid? 445 00:20:34,737 --> 00:20:35,497 Yes. -Okay... 446 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,857 They offered me their full time position but I was so over NYC! 447 00:20:39,537 --> 00:20:41,697 And then Uma called and I couldn't help but... 448 00:20:41,777 --> 00:20:42,657 ...jump at the offer. 449 00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:44,177 The offer? 450 00:20:44,257 --> 00:20:44,777 Yes... 451 00:20:45,297 --> 00:20:45,977 What offer? 452 00:20:46,737 --> 00:20:48,217 I didn't know we were hiring. 453 00:20:48,537 --> 00:20:51,057 I thought you wanted to reduce losses. 454 00:20:51,537 --> 00:20:54,017 Akanksha won't come in your way. 455 00:20:54,617 --> 00:20:56,537 She's going to concentrate on the lighter subjects. 456 00:20:56,617 --> 00:21:00,497 Like entertainment or celebrities, socialites... 457 00:21:00,537 --> 00:21:01,217 Gossip? 458 00:21:01,537 --> 00:21:03,137 The readers want exactly this Damini. 459 00:21:03,737 --> 00:21:04,937 It's what gets the hits. 460 00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:06,537 Work with Akanksha. 461 00:21:06,977 --> 00:21:07,777 Make it work. 462 00:21:13,657 --> 00:21:14,057 Hi! 463 00:21:14,497 --> 00:21:15,417 What are you doing here? 464 00:21:15,937 --> 00:21:18,217 We'll have to train for two hours everyday. 465 00:21:18,297 --> 00:21:19,297 Day one, plyos. Day two, cardio. 466 00:21:19,417 --> 00:21:20,497 Day three, chest. Day four, legs. 467 00:21:20,537 --> 00:21:23,457 Day five and six, martial arts and sparring. 468 00:21:23,537 --> 00:21:25,737 Training, training, training, repeat, repeat, repeat. 469 00:21:25,777 --> 00:21:27,057 You will fall, you will breakdown, you will cry. 470 00:21:27,137 --> 00:21:29,257 We will do whatever it takes but we will not stop. 471 00:21:29,297 --> 00:21:31,297 Because right now, your muscles are soft. 472 00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:33,617 We have to harden them like stone. 473 00:21:33,697 --> 00:21:34,897 And these love handles of yours... 474 00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:37,137 ...are meant only for your boyfriend. 475 00:21:37,217 --> 00:21:38,857 I don't have a boyfriend. 476 00:21:41,057 --> 00:21:43,217 One week free trial. 477 00:21:43,297 --> 00:21:44,297 You won't regret it. 478 00:21:45,177 --> 00:21:46,657 How long did you practice this speech? 479 00:21:48,377 --> 00:21:49,617 At least 10-12 times... 480 00:21:49,697 --> 00:21:51,657 ...but it sounded way better in my head. 481 00:21:53,457 --> 00:21:54,137 Come in Umang. 482 00:22:02,457 --> 00:22:03,697 I'm telling you... 483 00:22:03,777 --> 00:22:04,697 ...this is so much better. 484 00:22:04,777 --> 00:22:06,217 No, she keeps doing these stupid things... 485 00:22:06,297 --> 00:22:07,257 Doesn't even matter! 486 00:22:10,777 --> 00:22:11,577 Hi Mom... 487 00:22:12,817 --> 00:22:13,457 Yes... 488 00:22:14,057 --> 00:22:15,177 No, I'm at work. 489 00:22:16,177 --> 00:22:17,337 Yes Mom, I've eaten. 490 00:22:18,857 --> 00:22:20,417 Okay, I'll call Dad tomorrow. 491 00:22:22,657 --> 00:22:24,097 How are Karanveer and Pinky? 492 00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:26,057 Okay. 493 00:22:27,217 --> 00:22:28,617 Give my love to everyone. 494 00:22:31,137 --> 00:22:32,297 Okay Mom. Bye. 495 00:22:37,577 --> 00:22:39,617 Guys, wasn't Umang right here with us? 496 00:22:39,697 --> 00:22:40,657 Where did she go? 497 00:22:41,577 --> 00:22:43,337 Guys, that was Mom on the line. 498 00:22:43,417 --> 00:22:45,417 Dude, you were incredibly well behaved! 499 00:22:46,177 --> 00:22:49,857 The amount of grief I have put my mom and dad through... 500 00:22:49,937 --> 00:22:50,537 Enough. 501 00:22:50,857 --> 00:22:51,697 Now no more. 502 00:22:54,057 --> 00:22:56,177 Umang teaches physical training in school. 503 00:22:56,257 --> 00:22:58,817 No wonder she's so slim and trim. 504 00:22:59,177 --> 00:23:00,497 Don't you worry. 505 00:23:00,577 --> 00:23:04,377 She will cook healthy food for your son. 506 00:23:04,697 --> 00:23:06,977 She even makes butter chicken without the butter! 507 00:23:07,057 --> 00:23:07,417 Really? 508 00:23:07,497 --> 00:23:10,297 I promise you...you won't stop licking your fingers. 509 00:23:10,377 --> 00:23:12,617 No one can tell there's no butter in it. 510 00:23:12,937 --> 00:23:14,057 Don't you agree? -Absolutely. 511 00:23:14,137 --> 00:23:16,097 Well, then I can't wait to try her butter chicken! 512 00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:18,817 But where is Umang? 513 00:23:20,417 --> 00:23:21,737 He has three mansions. 514 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:22,617 And a field. 515 00:23:23,417 --> 00:23:25,137 They will keep you like a princess. 516 00:23:25,817 --> 00:23:26,617 You'll be happy. 517 00:23:27,417 --> 00:23:28,377 Just like you? 518 00:23:28,737 --> 00:23:29,377 Happy. 519 00:23:30,657 --> 00:23:31,497 What do you expect? 520 00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,937 To find true love with Prince Charming on a white horse? 521 00:23:35,617 --> 00:23:36,537 Or a princess. 522 00:23:37,017 --> 00:23:38,737 I'll send you my wedding card. You wait and watch. 523 00:23:39,057 --> 00:23:39,497 Okay. 524 00:23:39,817 --> 00:23:41,177 What the hell is all this?! 525 00:23:41,257 --> 00:23:42,897 I feel chained like a cow! 526 00:23:43,377 --> 00:23:45,377 You're wearing an outfit like this for the first time. 527 00:23:48,097 --> 00:23:50,097 What are you doing?! Are you out of your mind?! 528 00:23:50,177 --> 00:23:51,257 It's all making sense now. 529 00:23:56,217 --> 00:23:57,177 Such is life, Umi. 530 00:23:58,217 --> 00:24:00,137 You need to find your happiness in this new relationship. 531 00:24:01,337 --> 00:24:02,137 You call this happiness? 532 00:24:02,897 --> 00:24:04,217 Taking care of someone's home. 533 00:24:04,737 --> 00:24:06,097 Praying for his long life? 534 00:24:06,577 --> 00:24:07,777 This is the system right? 535 00:24:08,937 --> 00:24:09,897 Respect it. 536 00:24:11,137 --> 00:24:12,377 And what about respecting ourselves? 537 00:24:13,017 --> 00:24:14,737 Think about your parents. 538 00:24:16,017 --> 00:24:16,817 Their entire life... 539 00:24:16,897 --> 00:24:18,457 ...one spoke while the other listened. 540 00:24:18,857 --> 00:24:20,017 Is this what you call a marriage? 541 00:24:20,497 --> 00:24:21,417 And you and my brother? 542 00:24:23,377 --> 00:24:25,457 You'll spend your whole life trying to love him. 543 00:24:26,577 --> 00:24:27,977 This place suffocates me! 544 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,057 What are you doing? 545 00:24:30,617 --> 00:24:31,937 Umi no...Umi... 546 00:24:32,297 --> 00:24:34,017 Don't make this mistake! Don't do it! 547 00:24:34,617 --> 00:24:36,377 Go down in five minutes... 548 00:24:36,457 --> 00:24:38,657 ...and tell everyone that you can't find me. 549 00:24:39,897 --> 00:24:41,097 This is the least you can do for me. 550 00:24:42,617 --> 00:24:43,257 Please. 551 00:24:50,177 --> 00:24:51,297 You wore an Indian outfit? 552 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:54,297 And that too for a guy? -Oh God! 553 00:24:54,617 --> 00:24:57,937 Is that the only thing you heard in my entire story? 554 00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:01,337 So how did you sort it out with your folks? 555 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:04,017 Simple. We just brushed it under the carpet. 556 00:25:04,617 --> 00:25:06,617 Basically, under the carpet in our house... 557 00:25:06,697 --> 00:25:09,057 ...you'll find tons of hidden misconceptions... 558 00:25:09,137 --> 00:25:11,377 ...and unresolved arguments. 559 00:25:11,457 --> 00:25:12,217 Insane! 560 00:25:13,417 --> 00:25:15,777 So you'll never tell them that you're bisexual? 561 00:25:16,737 --> 00:25:18,657 The carpet's not that big. 562 00:25:20,697 --> 00:25:22,217 You know it's really sad that... 563 00:25:22,297 --> 00:25:25,097 ...we can't discuss our sexuality with our mothers. 564 00:25:26,097 --> 00:25:26,977 When Arya grows up, 565 00:25:27,057 --> 00:25:30,297 I'll make sure I discuss everything with her. 566 00:25:30,377 --> 00:25:32,577 Sex, drugs, boys... 567 00:25:33,377 --> 00:25:34,057 Vagina. 568 00:25:35,657 --> 00:25:36,537 I'm sorry... 569 00:25:36,617 --> 00:25:39,777 Did you just whisper vagina? 570 00:25:40,177 --> 00:25:41,217 I mean, just say it. 571 00:25:41,657 --> 00:25:43,337 VAGINAAAAAA! 572 00:25:43,697 --> 00:25:45,657 All hail the vagina! 573 00:25:46,697 --> 00:25:47,337 Mad? 574 00:25:47,417 --> 00:25:48,497 Why? What's the big deal? 575 00:25:48,577 --> 00:25:50,217 Try it Siddhi! C'mon... 576 00:25:50,297 --> 00:25:51,297 You'll feel a sense of nirvana. C'mon... 577 00:25:51,377 --> 00:25:51,817 Okay. 578 00:25:52,457 --> 00:25:54,777 All hail my vagina! 579 00:25:56,537 --> 00:25:58,897 Next time shout this out at the bar... 580 00:25:58,977 --> 00:26:01,257 ...and just watch, you'll have four boys lining up for you. 581 00:26:01,737 --> 00:26:02,497 Yeah! 582 00:26:02,977 --> 00:26:03,817 Alright Anj... 583 00:26:04,177 --> 00:26:05,137 C'mon... -What? 584 00:26:05,217 --> 00:26:06,297 Go for it! -Go! 585 00:26:07,177 --> 00:26:08,417 Guys... -What? 586 00:26:08,497 --> 00:26:10,497 C'mon, c'mon... -Okay, okay. 587 00:26:12,057 --> 00:26:13,497 Vagina... 588 00:26:14,857 --> 00:26:18,217 Vagina...come to mama... -What was that? Seriously? 589 00:26:18,297 --> 00:26:20,817 Okay, okay, I'll do it again. -Okay... 590 00:26:22,417 --> 00:26:24,537 VAGINAAAAAA! 591 00:26:24,617 --> 00:26:27,017 Nice! 592 00:26:28,377 --> 00:26:31,217 Make me come you motherfucker! 593 00:26:32,177 --> 00:26:34,737 (Girls shout out vagina in multiple languages) 594 00:26:35,097 --> 00:26:36,377 Guys, guys...Yoni 595 00:26:36,737 --> 00:26:37,337 Choot. 596 00:26:37,737 --> 00:26:38,257 Chuthadi. 597 00:26:38,337 --> 00:26:40,217 Choot and Chuthadi are the same...so another one. 598 00:26:40,537 --> 00:26:41,057 Okay, fine. 599 00:26:41,137 --> 00:26:42,297 You come up with something then. 600 00:26:43,057 --> 00:26:43,977 Poonani! 601 00:26:44,417 --> 00:26:47,177 I heard it in a rap song and I've been dying to use it since then. 602 00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:48,417 Kandu! Kandu! 603 00:26:48,497 --> 00:26:49,697 That sounds like Gandu! 604 00:26:49,777 --> 00:26:50,857 Bhosadi! 605 00:26:50,937 --> 00:26:52,297 Oh! Vajayjay! 606 00:26:52,377 --> 00:26:53,337 Fuddu! 607 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:54,337 Pooku! 608 00:26:54,657 --> 00:26:55,337 Putki! 609 00:26:56,177 --> 00:26:57,217 Twinkle! 610 00:26:57,297 --> 00:26:58,057 Vajizzle! 611 00:26:58,457 --> 00:26:59,297 Pookie!