1 00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,297 Why is it that... 2 00:00:06,817 --> 00:00:11,137 ...we find it hardest to stand up to the person we love the most? 3 00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:13,817 Is it because we’re scared of hurting them? 4 00:00:14,497 --> 00:00:15,977 Or hurting ourselves? 5 00:00:20,537 --> 00:00:22,337 I wandered lonely as a cloud... 6 00:00:22,697 --> 00:00:24,297 ...that floats so high... -Ready? 7 00:00:25,577 --> 00:00:26,417 Siddhi... 8 00:00:27,057 --> 00:00:28,017 ...what is this? 9 00:00:28,097 --> 00:00:29,697 Julie Didi's birthday gift. 10 00:00:29,777 --> 00:00:30,617 Take it off now! 11 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,417 You look like a three-tiered birthday cake! 12 00:00:32,897 --> 00:00:33,417 No! 13 00:00:33,777 --> 00:00:34,937 What do you mean no? 14 00:00:35,017 --> 00:00:37,817 Julie! I mean... -What is going on here? 15 00:00:37,897 --> 00:00:38,857 This is what is going on Viju! 16 00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:40,537 She looks like a strawberry meringue! 17 00:00:40,617 --> 00:00:42,257 You know I need this evening to be perfect. 18 00:00:42,337 --> 00:00:45,177 I have to prove to these people that we're a perfect family. 19 00:00:45,257 --> 00:00:47,017 And now this... -What are you saying Sneha. 20 00:00:47,097 --> 00:00:48,737 Aren't we already perfect? 21 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,417 Oh please! 22 00:00:53,577 --> 00:00:55,257 Julie, ten minutes. 23 00:00:55,337 --> 00:00:56,137 Change her. 24 00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,257 Our guests will be here any minute. 25 00:01:02,377 --> 00:01:04,137 This is important for your mother. 26 00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:05,977 So let's do this for her. 27 00:01:06,057 --> 00:01:08,737 Quickly change your dress and come sweetheart. 28 00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,857 I wandered lonely as a cloud... 29 00:01:13,897 --> 00:01:15,537 ...that floats all high... 30 00:01:15,657 --> 00:01:17,497 ...over valleys and hills. 31 00:01:17,897 --> 00:01:19,057 When all at once... 32 00:01:19,137 --> 00:01:20,817 ...I saw a crowd... 33 00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:23,617 ...a host of golden daffodils. 34 00:01:23,697 --> 00:01:24,857 Besides the lake... 35 00:01:24,897 --> 00:01:26,377 ...beneath the trees... 36 00:01:26,457 --> 00:01:28,097 ...fluttering and dancing... 37 00:01:28,177 --> 00:01:28,777 Whoa! 38 00:01:31,537 --> 00:01:32,377 Siddhi! 39 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:38,377 I'm so sorry. 40 00:02:28,577 --> 00:02:31,217 So this pretty gift is from... 41 00:02:31,297 --> 00:02:32,697 Sejal! 42 00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:35,377 Very sweet. -They're all the same. 43 00:02:35,417 --> 00:02:36,857 Well done Sejal. 44 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:40,097 These botoxed women... 45 00:02:40,777 --> 00:02:43,297 Their eyebrows are permanently surprised. 46 00:02:43,857 --> 00:02:45,857 When I break our news to them... 47 00:02:46,257 --> 00:02:48,577 ...their eyebrows will fly off their faces. 48 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,537 If you hate them so much, why are they your friends? 49 00:02:54,337 --> 00:02:55,577 Grow up Siddhi. 50 00:02:55,657 --> 00:02:56,897 That's life. 51 00:02:57,497 --> 00:02:58,857 Sometimes you socialise with people... 52 00:02:58,937 --> 00:03:00,297 ...even if you don't like them. 53 00:03:05,137 --> 00:03:07,417 ?? 54 00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:09,417 There she is! 55 00:03:10,177 --> 00:03:11,377 Congratulations. -Thank you. 56 00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:12,857 Congratulations darling. 57 00:03:12,937 --> 00:03:14,697 Thank you. And you look lovely. 58 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:15,777 Thank you Aunty. 59 00:03:15,857 --> 00:03:18,417 And ladies... I have big news. 60 00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:19,697 So do I. 61 00:03:20,217 --> 00:03:21,857 You know my nephew Pavan? 62 00:03:22,377 --> 00:03:24,137 He just got engaged. 63 00:03:24,777 --> 00:03:25,617 Kinjal Lakhani. 64 00:03:27,017 --> 00:03:29,017 Ms. NRI 2014 runner up! 65 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,217 With her. 66 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,417 Wow! That's really good news. 67 00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:34,857 Siddhi, what did you do that... 68 00:03:34,937 --> 00:03:37,497 ...Pavan just got engaged to the very next girl he met? 69 00:03:38,377 --> 00:03:39,897 Karate chops? 70 00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:43,297 By the way, you know whose daughter Kinjal is, don't you? 71 00:03:43,617 --> 00:03:45,057 Surpriya and Akash Bhatt. 72 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:45,777 Oh no. 73 00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:48,697 Sneha, wasn't your engagement with him called off? 74 00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:51,537 And didn't your father gift him a car as good omen? 75 00:03:51,617 --> 00:03:53,257 Then why did the engagement break Sneha? 76 00:03:54,697 --> 00:03:57,777 Mona, today my Viju's net worth is... 77 00:03:57,857 --> 00:03:59,817 ...three times more than Akash. 78 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,017 And your nephew, Pavan? 79 00:04:02,777 --> 00:04:05,097 I'm sorry to say but he eats chicken. 80 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,697 I'm thrilled that Siddhi narrowly escaped him. 81 00:04:08,337 --> 00:04:10,457 In any case, I believe in destiny. 82 00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:12,617 Kuki's son, Mohit? -Yes? 83 00:04:13,177 --> 00:04:15,257 Siddhi and he clicked like that. 84 00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:16,777 And you know that family, right? 85 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,297 Only Mercedes and BMWs. 86 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:21,977 And they have this exquisite home in Dubai Marina. 87 00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:25,697 Ladies, please save your dates for December. 88 00:04:25,777 --> 00:04:28,697 I will throw Siddhi a destination wedding... 89 00:04:28,777 --> 00:04:30,457 ...no one will ever forget. 90 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,897 He's such a handsome boy, Mona. 91 00:04:32,977 --> 00:04:35,217 And great personal style. 92 00:04:35,337 --> 00:04:37,777 He does all of Kuki's personal shopping for her. 93 00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:38,457 Really? 94 00:04:38,537 --> 00:04:39,897 Once you two get married, 95 00:04:40,017 --> 00:04:41,897 I'm appointing Mohit my personal stylist. 96 00:04:42,017 --> 00:04:43,777 But Sneha Aunty... 97 00:04:43,857 --> 00:04:45,137 Mohit is gay. 98 00:04:45,977 --> 00:04:46,737 Isn't he? 99 00:04:55,057 --> 00:04:56,657 How long have you known this? 100 00:04:57,017 --> 00:04:57,777 Since the beginning. 101 00:05:01,777 --> 00:05:02,857 Why Siddhi! 102 00:05:03,657 --> 00:05:06,097 Why do you always embarrass me in front of others? 103 00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:09,337 Sneha is such a liar. 104 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:11,457 Do you know why her engagement broke? 105 00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:13,337 Her father gifted Akash a car alright... 106 00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:15,297 ...but he hadn't fully paid for it. 107 00:05:15,337 --> 00:05:16,297 Really? -Yes. 108 00:05:29,457 --> 00:05:32,017 Why is Mummy so mean, Julie Didi? 109 00:05:33,337 --> 00:05:34,257 Listen baby, 110 00:05:34,337 --> 00:05:36,617 Madam is always on a diet. 111 00:05:36,697 --> 00:05:39,137 That's why her blood sugar level is always low. 112 00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:42,697 You know, in our Goa, there is one saying. 113 00:05:43,337 --> 00:05:45,337 Always hungry means... 114 00:05:45,417 --> 00:05:47,017 ...always angry. 115 00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:52,297 See... My favourite. 116 00:05:52,377 --> 00:05:53,857 Lemon and chocolate! 117 00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,537 That's why I made them. 118 00:05:55,617 --> 00:05:57,817 When will you teach me how to make cupcakes? 119 00:05:57,897 --> 00:06:00,097 The next time Madam leaves town. 120 00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:01,137 Promise. 121 00:06:03,137 --> 00:06:04,737 I love your cupcakes. 122 00:06:04,817 --> 00:06:05,657 I love you. 123 00:06:05,977 --> 00:06:07,017 But I hate her. 124 00:06:13,697 --> 00:06:15,457 Hey Sidi-Pidi... 125 00:06:15,537 --> 00:06:16,537 ...it's me. 126 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,017 Take this... 127 00:06:18,097 --> 00:06:19,697 Your papa's famous Mojito. 128 00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:30,217 Papa, why did you marry her? 129 00:06:31,537 --> 00:06:33,897 I wish I was never born. 130 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:34,817 Siddhi, please. 131 00:06:34,897 --> 00:06:35,977 Don't say such things. 132 00:06:36,057 --> 00:06:38,577 Why don't you ever say anything to Sneha? 133 00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:42,617 You know Papa, mom has never once... 134 00:06:42,697 --> 00:06:44,177 ...looked at me with love. 135 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,737 She's always judging me. 136 00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,537 It's like I can never do anything right. 137 00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:53,057 I'm a perpetual embarrassment for her. 138 00:06:53,657 --> 00:06:55,217 You know still, every day, 139 00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:56,977 I just wait for her to say... 140 00:06:57,457 --> 00:06:59,137 ...I love you Sidi-Pidi. 141 00:06:59,577 --> 00:07:00,617 Like you do. 142 00:07:01,377 --> 00:07:03,097 But she's never going to say it, is she? 143 00:07:03,577 --> 00:07:05,977 You know your mother sweetheart. 144 00:07:06,497 --> 00:07:08,097 She loves you very much. 145 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,857 But in her own Sneha Patel style. 146 00:07:10,937 --> 00:07:12,337 Papa, please don't lie to me. 147 00:07:12,417 --> 00:07:14,297 I swear on your cupcakes. 148 00:07:14,377 --> 00:07:15,257 Now take this... 149 00:07:15,337 --> 00:07:17,497 ...our only companion when we're sad. 150 00:07:17,577 --> 00:07:18,377 I don't want it. 151 00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:19,817 How can you not want it? 152 00:07:20,177 --> 00:07:22,097 I've made it extra strong just for you. 153 00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:24,537 Take it quickly. 154 00:07:25,017 --> 00:07:26,097 Drink up... Come. 155 00:07:28,017 --> 00:07:28,857 Cheers! 156 00:07:29,337 --> 00:07:30,137 Cheers. 157 00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:35,137 Really? 158 00:07:39,497 --> 00:07:41,417 Cheers, darling. -Cheers. 159 00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:46,017 Oh my God... Don't do that. 160 00:07:47,177 --> 00:07:49,417 You're not going to miss me at all. 161 00:07:50,217 --> 00:07:52,217 Here. Xerxes' toys... 162 00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:54,377 Did I hear Xerxes? 163 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:55,897 And... 164 00:07:55,977 --> 00:07:57,417 his food bowl... -I did, didn't I? 165 00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,817 His favourite blankie, everything's in here. 166 00:08:00,137 --> 00:08:01,977 Also tell your mum his favourite is milk bread. 167 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:03,577 And you have to force him to drink water... 168 00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,097 ...otherwise he gets dehydrated. 169 00:08:05,177 --> 00:08:05,977 Ok? 170 00:08:06,057 --> 00:08:06,897 And also... 171 00:08:06,977 --> 00:08:08,337 O how the mighty have fallen. 172 00:08:08,657 --> 00:08:09,217 What? 173 00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:11,217 Ms. Rizvi Roy's in love... 174 00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,457 Oh please! C'mon, out with it. 175 00:08:15,657 --> 00:08:17,857 The minute I wake up, he licks my face. 176 00:08:20,457 --> 00:08:22,617 Ok fine, I admit, maybe I'm a little... 177 00:08:22,977 --> 00:08:24,137 ...tad bit attached. 178 00:08:24,217 --> 00:08:24,857 Oh my God! 179 00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:26,057 Your maternal instincts are awakening. 180 00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:26,897 Shut up! 181 00:08:26,977 --> 00:08:27,817 Shhh... 182 00:08:28,657 --> 00:08:29,537 What is that noise? 183 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,577 Is that the sound of your biological clock ticking? 184 00:08:33,097 --> 00:08:33,457 Out. 185 00:08:33,977 --> 00:08:35,337 Out of my house! 186 00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:35,897 Right now. -Yes, it is. 187 00:08:35,977 --> 00:08:37,177 Go. -Yes, it is. 188 00:08:43,097 --> 00:08:44,497 So I was watching this TV show... 189 00:08:44,617 --> 00:08:45,977 ...about women, 190 00:08:46,057 --> 00:08:46,497 you know, 191 00:08:46,617 --> 00:08:48,737 doing crazy things! 192 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,457 TV show? 193 00:08:52,057 --> 00:08:53,737 Ok, I did an online search. 194 00:08:55,057 --> 00:08:56,417 I don't have experience. 195 00:08:57,857 --> 00:08:59,497 No worries. I'll show you. 196 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,697 Mamma, I want princess dress! 197 00:10:01,737 --> 00:10:03,057 I want princess dress! 198 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:05,057 I want princess dress! -Arya, no tantrums. 199 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,977 I want princess dress! -You know better than that. 200 00:10:07,057 --> 00:10:08,497 I want princess dress! 201 00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:10,417 Okay, I'm going. -I want princess dress! 202 00:10:13,217 --> 00:10:14,097 What are... 203 00:10:14,177 --> 00:10:14,857 leave it. 204 00:10:14,977 --> 00:10:16,297 Arya... 205 00:10:18,857 --> 00:10:19,857 Fuck. 206 00:10:20,217 --> 00:10:21,217 Arya, very bad. 207 00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:23,337 Hi Arya! 208 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:24,737 Hi, Pookie aunty! -Hi! 209 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,337 What are you guys doing here? 210 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,497 Nothing, we were just like... 211 00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:29,617 You know just... 212 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:30,497 Just walking around. 213 00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:33,257 Pookie aunty, I want princess dress. 214 00:10:33,577 --> 00:10:34,457 Oh! 215 00:10:34,737 --> 00:10:36,297 A princess dress? 216 00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:38,217 She's just driving me mad. 217 00:10:38,297 --> 00:10:39,097 Arya... 218 00:10:40,497 --> 00:10:43,017 Only boring girls wear princess dresses. 219 00:10:43,097 --> 00:10:44,377 You're not a princess. 220 00:10:44,457 --> 00:10:45,857 You're a warrior. 221 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,577 Like Wonder Woman. 222 00:10:47,617 --> 00:10:48,017 Yes? 223 00:10:48,097 --> 00:10:50,577 Mamma, I don't want princess dress. 224 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,457 I'm Wonder Woman. 225 00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:54,617 Wow! Finally. 226 00:10:56,217 --> 00:10:57,257 Do you want to get a coffee? 227 00:11:00,177 --> 00:11:01,497 Ya, sure. 228 00:11:01,857 --> 00:11:02,457 Sure! 229 00:11:04,217 --> 00:11:05,657 You're quite good with kids. 230 00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:07,337 Sister to... 231 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,417 ...three siblings. 232 00:11:11,017 --> 00:11:12,177 So you were shopping? 233 00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,737 Out buying socks for Varun. 234 00:11:15,897 --> 00:11:16,537 Wow! 235 00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:19,377 Varun finally shifted from slippers to shoes? 236 00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:20,177 I wish! 237 00:11:20,937 --> 00:11:21,977 I'm trying. 238 00:11:22,337 --> 00:11:24,537 A little cleanliness, is that too much to ask for? 239 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:25,537 Oh my God. 240 00:11:25,617 --> 00:11:26,657 Please don't remind me. 241 00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:29,937 Wash basin used to be filled with his post shave stubble. 242 00:11:30,017 --> 00:11:31,857 And his clipped toe nails in the pot. 243 00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:34,497 Wet towel on the bed, on the sofa... 244 00:11:34,577 --> 00:11:36,257 Sometimes on top of ironed clothes and... 245 00:11:36,337 --> 00:11:39,377 ...under the treadmill, his slippers! 246 00:11:41,457 --> 00:11:43,337 Does he still wear... 247 00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:45,417 ...his undies in reverse the next day? 248 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,937 Oh God! Yes! 249 00:11:48,137 --> 00:11:49,777 Why! Why! Why! -Ugh! 250 00:11:49,857 --> 00:11:50,417 Fuck! 251 00:11:58,497 --> 00:11:59,497 Hey... 252 00:12:01,777 --> 00:12:04,417 The equation I have with Arya... 253 00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:07,857 I don't want to be her mom. 254 00:12:07,937 --> 00:12:09,657 And I can't, even if I tried. 255 00:12:11,537 --> 00:12:12,537 It's just that... 256 00:12:13,177 --> 00:12:15,377 Arya's very important to Varun and... 257 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,417 I just want to be the fun aunt. 258 00:12:20,257 --> 00:12:21,177 Sometimes, 259 00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,337 I wish I could be the fun aunt. 260 00:12:25,177 --> 00:12:26,137 Work pressure, 261 00:12:26,217 --> 00:12:28,497 mother's guilt, household chores... 262 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,417 I wish I had one day... 263 00:12:32,497 --> 00:12:33,977 ...to just be me. 264 00:12:34,657 --> 00:12:35,857 And not Arya's mamma. 265 00:12:37,217 --> 00:12:39,137 I mean is it too much to ask for? 266 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,137 Like just... one fucking day! 267 00:12:43,377 --> 00:12:44,377 I know what you're saying. 268 00:12:45,017 --> 00:12:45,977 In all the roles we play, 269 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,937 whilst living for everyone else, 270 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,497 we forget to live a little for ourselves. 271 00:12:50,377 --> 00:12:51,977 Maybe it's time we reclaim that! 272 00:12:54,017 --> 00:12:56,017 We all need to learn how to please ourselves. 273 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:01,137 Did you just say that? 274 00:13:02,377 --> 00:13:02,937 Ya! 275 00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:10,497 I've done it. 276 00:13:10,577 --> 00:13:12,337 I've bought myself a vibrator. 277 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,177 How'd you do it? 278 00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:15,137 Like did you have to stick it in like a fire stick? 279 00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:17,417 Dude! Clit play! 280 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,177 I'm going to make you google vagina. 281 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,537 Seriously. I know what a clit is! 282 00:13:21,617 --> 00:13:24,057 Mostly Ms. VeeVee won't need it. 283 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,737 My meet and greet is about to begin. 284 00:13:25,817 --> 00:13:26,817 Dude! Oh my goodness! 285 00:13:26,897 --> 00:13:28,497 You're the only person who'd call an online date... 286 00:13:28,577 --> 00:13:29,777 ...a meet and greet! 287 00:13:29,857 --> 00:13:30,337 Seriously! 288 00:13:30,417 --> 00:13:31,657 But it is right? 289 00:13:32,017 --> 00:13:34,137 Hey, hi! How do you do? 290 00:13:34,217 --> 00:13:34,897 Doggy style? 291 00:13:34,977 --> 00:13:35,777 Missionary? 292 00:13:36,657 --> 00:13:37,377 Anal? 293 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:39,937 Okay, so what role are you going to play? 294 00:13:40,017 --> 00:13:41,537 Is it going to be like lost babe in the woods? 295 00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:42,097 Or is it going to be like... 296 00:13:42,177 --> 00:13:43,497 Come here! Let me teach you a thing or two! 297 00:13:43,577 --> 00:13:44,697 Hey! MPDG! 298 00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:46,457 What is MPDG? 299 00:13:46,537 --> 00:13:47,497 Sounds like a disease. 300 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:48,937 It kind of is. 301 00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:50,537 Manic Pixie Dream Girl. 302 00:13:50,617 --> 00:13:53,177 This bohemian dream girl who writes poetry. 303 00:13:53,257 --> 00:13:54,897 Can drink any guy under the table. 304 00:13:54,977 --> 00:13:56,257 And...who pees in the streets. 305 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:58,537 Ya. She talks to the clouds. 306 00:13:58,617 --> 00:14:00,417 And whose IQ is like that of a five-year old. 307 00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:02,737 The one who dances in the rain. 308 00:14:02,817 --> 00:14:03,257 Wow! 309 00:14:03,337 --> 00:14:04,377 Not for cardio. 310 00:14:04,457 --> 00:14:06,137 Just because she's free spirited! 311 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,457 They're like horny unicorns! 312 00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:10,057 They have carefree sex and... 313 00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:11,497 ...then just like that, they disappear. 314 00:14:11,577 --> 00:14:13,457 Because commitment is a myth. 315 00:14:13,857 --> 00:14:16,377 Basically, every guy's fantasy come true. 316 00:14:16,457 --> 00:14:17,697 That's my fantasy as well. 317 00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:19,057 Mangs, 318 00:14:19,137 --> 00:14:20,297 they exist just so that they can... 319 00:14:20,377 --> 00:14:22,697 ...save the hero from his disgusting, boring life. 320 00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:24,537 You are the antithesis of that. 321 00:14:24,617 --> 00:14:25,977 You live only for yourself, ok? 322 00:14:26,057 --> 00:14:27,737 By the way, where can I find these strange creatures? 323 00:14:27,817 --> 00:14:28,697 Like in the zoo? 324 00:14:29,337 --> 00:14:31,457 In books, films...shows. 325 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:32,657 Written by men. 326 00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:33,617 Made by men. 327 00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:34,897 For men. 328 00:14:34,977 --> 00:14:35,537 Wow. 329 00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:36,617 I can understand this... 330 00:14:36,697 --> 00:14:38,537 ...drinking-them-under-the-table business, right? 331 00:14:38,857 --> 00:14:40,337 But peeing in the streets? 332 00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:42,377 I mean, c'mon! I do Kegels. 333 00:14:42,457 --> 00:14:43,457 Wait, wait, wait, wait... Wow! 334 00:14:43,537 --> 00:14:44,337 What is Kegels now? 335 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,577 Okay wait. Who is Kegels? 336 00:14:45,657 --> 00:14:46,937 Not who, what. 337 00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:49,617 So basically, it's a pelvic flow muscular exercise. 338 00:14:49,697 --> 00:14:52,217 On the count of three, clench and then release alright? 339 00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:53,417 One, two, three... 340 00:14:53,497 --> 00:14:54,257 Clench! 341 00:14:54,777 --> 00:14:55,697 And then release. 342 00:14:56,777 --> 00:14:58,137 One more time, clench! 343 00:14:59,017 --> 00:14:59,737 And then release. 344 00:15:00,097 --> 00:15:00,897 Oh shit! -Yes! 345 00:15:01,297 --> 00:15:03,257 I think I just peed a little. What! 346 00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,577 Listen, you got your peeing-on-the-streets fantasy! 347 00:15:05,657 --> 00:15:07,337 Fuck! Finally! 348 00:15:07,857 --> 00:15:08,857 Where should we head? 349 00:15:08,937 --> 00:15:09,737 She has to pee! 350 00:15:09,817 --> 00:15:10,777 I'm ok, I think. 351 00:15:10,857 --> 00:15:11,857 I'm so hungry. Let's go eat. 352 00:15:11,937 --> 00:15:13,377 We have to find her a loo! 353 00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:24,457 Oh my God. 354 00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:26,857 Did you read about Karan and Shaina's love child? 355 00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,897 Seriously, what the fuck! I was so shocked! 356 00:15:29,977 --> 00:15:32,617 This Investigator.com app is so cool. See... 357 00:15:33,297 --> 00:15:33,857 Show. 358 00:15:34,777 --> 00:15:35,377 Check it out. 359 00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:36,657 Amazing! 360 00:15:37,977 --> 00:15:39,337 Where do they get this stuff? 361 00:15:39,417 --> 00:15:40,057 I know! 362 00:15:40,697 --> 00:15:41,497 Damn cool! 363 00:15:41,577 --> 00:15:42,337 I know! 364 00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:44,057 Excuse me. 365 00:15:44,617 --> 00:15:45,017 Ya? 366 00:15:46,177 --> 00:15:48,337 Reading about people's affairs and love children is not fun. 367 00:15:48,417 --> 00:15:49,497 It's ridiculous. 368 00:15:49,897 --> 00:15:50,697 I'm sorry? 369 00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:52,857 You should be, for reading crap like this. 370 00:15:53,377 --> 00:15:54,577 Don't you read real news? 371 00:15:54,897 --> 00:15:55,737 This is news. 372 00:15:56,417 --> 00:15:56,937 Ya... 373 00:15:58,617 --> 00:16:00,337 Investigator.com used to be one of the... 374 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,377 ...most trustworthy news sites for the last three years. 375 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:04,097 And because of low IQ dumbos like you, 376 00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:06,857 we have to now publish cheap gossip. 377 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,377 You should be ashamed of yourself. 378 00:16:09,897 --> 00:16:10,457 You know what? 379 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,937 Why don't you stop thinking about who's fucking whom... 380 00:16:13,017 --> 00:16:14,537 ...and actually start thinking about... 381 00:16:14,617 --> 00:16:15,977 ...how you think you're fucking the system... 382 00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:18,057 ...but actually, it's the system that's fucking you! 383 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:19,657 Idiots! 384 00:16:20,017 --> 00:16:20,817 Hashtag weirdo! 385 00:16:23,897 --> 00:16:24,457 Hey! 386 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:25,377 Oh hi... 387 00:16:25,697 --> 00:16:26,337 How are you? 388 00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:27,057 Good. 389 00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:29,017 You... 390 00:16:29,097 --> 00:16:29,897 Are you okay? 391 00:16:29,977 --> 00:16:30,697 Ya... 392 00:16:30,777 --> 00:16:31,897 You're crying... 393 00:16:32,537 --> 00:16:34,937 I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry. 394 00:16:35,017 --> 00:16:35,697 What happened? 395 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:37,977 I'm so sorry. 396 00:16:38,057 --> 00:16:38,377 Oh my God. 397 00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,217 This is so embarrassing. -What's wrong? 398 00:16:39,297 --> 00:16:40,337 I'm so sorry. 399 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,777 Is everything okay? -Ya, ya... 400 00:16:43,617 --> 00:16:44,177 I'm so sorry. 401 00:16:44,257 --> 00:16:46,497 This doesn't happen to me. -It's okay. It's alright. 402 00:16:46,577 --> 00:16:47,377 It's alright. 403 00:16:47,457 --> 00:16:48,497 Should I take you home? 404 00:16:49,337 --> 00:16:50,297 I'll take you home. 405 00:17:02,177 --> 00:17:03,057 Feeling better? 406 00:17:03,497 --> 00:17:04,137 Ya... 407 00:17:05,697 --> 00:17:06,897 Are you sure you're okay? 408 00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:20,417 Damini... 409 00:17:21,537 --> 00:17:22,617 You're my patient. 410 00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:26,057 Not right now. 411 00:18:02,977 --> 00:18:05,217 A woman has eight erogenous zones. 412 00:18:06,257 --> 00:18:07,177 The ear. 413 00:18:09,857 --> 00:18:10,617 The neck. 414 00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:15,897 The breasts. 415 00:18:15,977 --> 00:18:16,777 Ouch! 416 00:18:18,377 --> 00:18:19,417 Sorry you okay? 417 00:18:19,497 --> 00:18:20,737 Ya ya...that's fine...go on. 418 00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:24,057 Wait! 419 00:18:24,177 --> 00:18:24,937 Those were... 420 00:18:25,977 --> 00:18:27,017 ...expensive. 421 00:18:28,137 --> 00:18:29,417 The vagina. 422 00:18:33,497 --> 00:18:35,217 The cervix. 423 00:18:36,377 --> 00:18:37,497 And finally... 424 00:18:38,977 --> 00:18:40,737 The piece de resistance... 425 00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:42,137 What's that? 426 00:18:42,697 --> 00:18:44,057 Getting to your... 427 00:18:44,537 --> 00:18:45,777 G-spot. 428 00:18:46,537 --> 00:18:47,057 Okay... 429 00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:49,057 Here? 430 00:18:49,617 --> 00:18:50,457 No... 431 00:18:50,537 --> 00:18:51,257 Here? 432 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,297 Uh...not there either... 433 00:18:54,777 --> 00:18:55,497 Here. 434 00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:10,177 And they say the G-spot is a myth. 435 00:19:16,497 --> 00:19:17,297 We are done? 436 00:19:19,257 --> 00:19:20,937 Well, today was about you. 437 00:19:22,057 --> 00:19:22,937 Next time... 438 00:19:23,017 --> 00:19:24,617 ...will be about both of us. 439 00:19:26,017 --> 00:19:26,857 Oh! 440 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,057 Okay. 441 00:19:35,737 --> 00:19:37,657 Hi baby! 442 00:19:39,937 --> 00:19:40,977 Check out the new books. 443 00:19:43,537 --> 00:19:44,377 Hmm... 444 00:19:44,777 --> 00:19:47,217 So you and Kavya are bonding now? 445 00:19:50,617 --> 00:19:51,537 I knew it. 446 00:19:53,377 --> 00:19:54,537 She told you? 447 00:19:56,377 --> 00:19:59,137 It's just a fucking vibrator. 448 00:20:00,417 --> 00:20:01,017 I'm sorry, what? 449 00:20:01,297 --> 00:20:03,377 Mom has a rocket in her bag. 450 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:07,857 Wow! 451 00:20:08,297 --> 00:20:10,857 From no sex to sex on tap? 452 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:13,257 Anj, 453 00:20:13,737 --> 00:20:15,417 you're beginning to worry me now. 454 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:17,537 Awww... 455 00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:20,297 Don't be worried sweetheart. 456 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:22,977 I'm just an overworked, single mom... 457 00:20:23,057 --> 00:20:24,417 ...whose ex-husband... 458 00:20:24,497 --> 00:20:26,617 ...doesn't contribute a single penny. 459 00:20:26,697 --> 00:20:28,977 Who thinks he's twenty years old... 460 00:20:29,057 --> 00:20:31,497 ...and changes his girlfriend every six months. 461 00:20:31,537 --> 00:20:33,057 So I'm really sorry... 462 00:20:33,137 --> 00:20:35,217 ...if I decided to relieve myself of... 463 00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:36,937 ...some of the stress. 464 00:20:38,617 --> 00:20:39,657 Bye Arya! 465 00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:40,297 Bye. 466 00:20:44,017 --> 00:20:45,777 It's a date not a meet and greet. 467 00:20:45,857 --> 00:20:47,217 Ya, I'm meeting him at the bar. 468 00:20:47,657 --> 00:20:49,137 Dinner is too much commitment. 469 00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:51,057 If I don't like him, I'll just say bye to him. 470 00:20:51,777 --> 00:20:52,777 Besides I'm meeting a... 471 00:20:52,897 --> 00:20:55,017 ...meeting a new intern for a job interview later. 472 00:20:55,057 --> 00:20:55,777 Ya. 473 00:20:58,697 --> 00:20:59,177 Hi! 474 00:21:00,057 --> 00:21:01,297 Ok, I gotta go. Bye. 475 00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:06,737 Hi! 476 00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:07,617 Hi. 477 00:21:08,217 --> 00:21:10,417 I hope I didn't make you wait too long... 478 00:21:10,497 --> 00:21:11,297 No, not at all. 479 00:21:11,897 --> 00:21:12,537 Okay. 480 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:14,217 Ya. 481 00:21:19,777 --> 00:21:20,897 You're very good looking. 482 00:21:21,777 --> 00:21:23,457 Your photo does you no justice. 483 00:21:24,537 --> 00:21:27,377 You look a lot younger than your picture as well. 484 00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:28,297 Well, 485 00:21:28,377 --> 00:21:29,937 sue me for being hot. 486 00:21:30,937 --> 00:21:34,017 So, is it your first time or... 487 00:21:34,057 --> 00:21:35,217 ...you're like a pro? 488 00:21:36,377 --> 00:21:38,657 Actually, this is my fourth meeting. 489 00:21:39,257 --> 00:21:40,257 Window shopping? 490 00:21:41,257 --> 00:21:44,057 No, I've actually just given a few... It's alright. 491 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,737 I'm window shopping too. 492 00:21:46,217 --> 00:21:48,737 I think we all deserve the best. 493 00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:49,697 Of course. 494 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:51,497 Do you want to play a little game? 495 00:21:52,737 --> 00:21:53,217 Sure. 496 00:21:53,777 --> 00:21:56,097 Boxers or briefs? 497 00:21:58,857 --> 00:21:59,657 Legal briefs. 498 00:22:02,337 --> 00:22:03,377 Nice... 499 00:22:03,457 --> 00:22:05,017 Lawyer joke, nice! 500 00:22:06,537 --> 00:22:07,217 Your turn. 501 00:22:08,097 --> 00:22:09,257 My turn, right. 502 00:22:09,697 --> 00:22:10,977 Civil or criminal? 503 00:22:11,977 --> 00:22:13,657 Civil when you're nice... 504 00:22:14,257 --> 00:22:15,497 and criminal... 505 00:22:15,577 --> 00:22:16,577 ...when you're dirty. 506 00:22:18,057 --> 00:22:20,377 For fear of contempt of court. 507 00:22:25,737 --> 00:22:27,417 Oh shit. 508 00:22:28,817 --> 00:22:29,577 Shit, he's early. 509 00:22:34,617 --> 00:22:36,537 Can you just give me five minutes? 510 00:22:37,537 --> 00:22:38,497 Ya. -Ya? 511 00:22:38,577 --> 00:22:39,417 And... 512 00:22:39,497 --> 00:22:41,617 ...order me a Chianti, will you? 513 00:22:42,817 --> 00:22:44,097 Ah...sure. 514 00:22:44,497 --> 00:22:45,657 Don't be so nervous. 515 00:22:45,737 --> 00:22:46,457 Just... 516 00:22:46,777 --> 00:22:48,617 ...imagine me without clothes. 517 00:22:49,097 --> 00:22:49,857 You'll be fine. 518 00:22:55,617 --> 00:22:56,297 Hi. 519 00:22:56,817 --> 00:22:58,337 Hi. -I'm Anjana Menon. 520 00:22:58,417 --> 00:22:59,297 Nice to meet you. 521 00:22:59,857 --> 00:23:00,297 Please sit. 522 00:23:00,817 --> 00:23:02,177 There is no need for formality. 523 00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:04,577 Actually it's my first time so... 524 00:23:04,977 --> 00:23:06,857 Ah! Don't worry. I'll teach you everything... 525 00:23:06,937 --> 00:23:08,697 ...as long as you are willing to learn. 526 00:23:08,777 --> 00:23:10,617 Ya, I'm more than willing. 527 00:23:11,337 --> 00:23:12,897 Super. Let's get started. 528 00:23:13,657 --> 00:23:14,177 Now? 529 00:23:15,297 --> 00:23:15,977 Ya. 530 00:23:16,737 --> 00:23:17,937 Okay, so... 531 00:23:18,017 --> 00:23:19,857 ...should we go to a hotel or... 532 00:23:20,337 --> 00:23:22,217 Why a hotel? Why not here? 533 00:23:22,297 --> 00:23:22,937 Here? 534 00:23:23,457 --> 00:23:24,537 You mean like... 535 00:23:25,377 --> 00:23:26,257 ...in the washroom? 536 00:23:27,377 --> 00:23:28,017 Oh! 537 00:23:28,097 --> 00:23:28,817 You need to go? 538 00:23:29,297 --> 00:23:29,817 No. 539 00:23:31,897 --> 00:23:32,857 Sorry I... 540 00:23:32,937 --> 00:23:33,977 I'm a little confused. 541 00:23:34,057 --> 00:23:35,057 Okay... 542 00:23:35,137 --> 00:23:36,177 You know what? 543 00:23:36,257 --> 00:23:36,977 Let's start afresh. 544 00:23:37,057 --> 00:23:37,497 Ya. -Ya? 545 00:23:37,577 --> 00:23:40,297 Let's do that. -So tell me about your strengths. 546 00:23:41,697 --> 00:23:42,137 Okay. 547 00:23:42,977 --> 00:23:45,737 So, I'm extremely fun loving. 548 00:23:46,297 --> 00:23:47,097 Easy going. 549 00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:48,297 I'm a great listener. 550 00:23:48,377 --> 00:23:49,417 Right. -Very caring. 551 00:23:49,977 --> 00:23:50,817 And I... 552 00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:52,377 ...give the best foot massages. 553 00:23:54,817 --> 00:23:55,617 Okay! 554 00:23:56,337 --> 00:23:57,457 And your weaknesses? 555 00:23:57,777 --> 00:23:58,937 I don't have any. 556 00:24:03,337 --> 00:24:05,497 I can go five times in one night. 557 00:24:20,857 --> 00:24:22,257 Let's start again. 558 00:24:23,737 --> 00:24:25,537 Hi, I'm Anjana Menon, 559 00:24:25,617 --> 00:24:28,777 Senior Associate at Lalwani and Jhunjhunwalas. 560 00:24:29,257 --> 00:24:30,457 Arjun...Nair. 561 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:32,857 It is an absolute pleasure to meet you. 562 00:24:32,937 --> 00:24:33,737 I'm a huge fan. 563 00:24:33,817 --> 00:24:36,257 I have read all your articles in Lawyers Today. 564 00:24:37,177 --> 00:24:38,977 And I have also studied your cases in NLS. 565 00:24:39,697 --> 00:24:40,337 Thanks. 566 00:24:50,777 --> 00:24:52,057 So did you hire the intern? 567 00:24:52,497 --> 00:24:53,257 Obviously. 568 00:24:53,777 --> 00:24:55,897 Else, he would've sued me for sexual harassment. 569 00:25:09,137 --> 00:25:09,977 See you Jeh... 570 00:25:10,897 --> 00:25:11,897 Hey, no last order? 571 00:25:12,297 --> 00:25:13,697 Nah, I'm done. 572 00:25:13,777 --> 00:25:14,337 Hey listen, 573 00:25:14,417 --> 00:25:15,817 I'm really sorry I crossed the line. 574 00:25:16,977 --> 00:25:17,417 When? 575 00:25:18,297 --> 00:25:19,377 You know when I said all that... 576 00:25:19,457 --> 00:25:21,017 ...biological clock nonsense. 577 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:25,897 Can I give you one advice? 578 00:25:26,257 --> 00:25:26,937 Yes, tell me... 579 00:25:27,737 --> 00:25:29,817 Please, never be a stand-up comedian. 580 00:25:33,617 --> 00:25:35,377 Bad jokes are in my genes. 581 00:25:36,017 --> 00:25:37,737 If you ever come to Goa to meet Xerxes... 582 00:25:37,817 --> 00:25:40,217 ...you'll see how crazy my Parsi family is. 583 00:25:40,537 --> 00:25:41,457 And how unfunny. 584 00:25:43,537 --> 00:25:44,537 Seriously though, anytime. 585 00:25:45,857 --> 00:25:48,137 I also make a mean fish curry. 586 00:25:50,097 --> 00:25:51,017 Sold. 587 00:25:54,297 --> 00:25:55,577 You always leave too soon. 588 00:25:59,097 --> 00:26:00,977 I thought I always overstayed. 589 00:26:01,377 --> 00:26:02,297 No, never. 590 00:26:02,937 --> 00:26:03,577 Hey, hang on. 591 00:26:09,217 --> 00:26:10,257 Irish single malt. 592 00:26:11,337 --> 00:26:11,937 The best. 593 00:26:13,497 --> 00:26:14,217 Stay? 594 00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:43,097 Mamma! 595 00:26:43,537 --> 00:26:44,977 God you scared me! 596 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,497 Look at the state you're in. 597 00:26:51,617 --> 00:26:52,817 Are you drunk? 598 00:26:55,857 --> 00:26:57,737 From tomorrow, you will stop hanging out... 599 00:26:57,817 --> 00:26:59,057 ...with those loose girls. 600 00:27:00,017 --> 00:27:00,737 Loose? 601 00:27:01,337 --> 00:27:03,457 Mama, Umang works out everyday. 602 00:27:03,537 --> 00:27:05,617 She's so tight, you know... 603 00:27:05,697 --> 00:27:08,697 It's no wonder even Pavan rejected you. 604 00:27:08,777 --> 00:27:09,857 Good riddance. 605 00:27:09,937 --> 00:27:11,497 He wanted to suck my toes. 606 00:27:12,177 --> 00:27:12,657 So? 607 00:27:13,337 --> 00:27:15,697 Some guys like toes and some guys like breasts. 608 00:27:16,577 --> 00:27:18,937 But if you keep rejecting boys like this, 609 00:27:19,017 --> 00:27:20,577 you'll be alone forever. 610 00:27:21,177 --> 00:27:22,497 And if you don't get married, 611 00:27:22,857 --> 00:27:24,777 what do you have Siddhi? 612 00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:29,097 Do you even love me? 613 00:27:30,417 --> 00:27:31,537 Excuse me? 614 00:27:33,257 --> 00:27:36,217 You tore me up coming out of me Siddhi! 615 00:27:36,297 --> 00:27:38,057 Then why did you give birth to me? 616 00:27:38,377 --> 00:27:39,737 You should've had an abortion! 617 00:27:40,257 --> 00:27:42,057 Or you should've just handed me over to Julie Didi! 618 00:27:42,137 --> 00:27:43,457 Atleast she loved me! 619 00:27:43,537 --> 00:27:44,777 All our problems would be solved! 620 00:27:44,857 --> 00:27:45,937 All our problems! 621 00:27:46,377 --> 00:27:47,297 Julie? 622 00:27:47,377 --> 00:27:48,977 The one who kept feeding you cupcakes as a kid... 623 00:27:49,057 --> 00:27:50,817 ...and gave you so many problems? 624 00:27:51,857 --> 00:27:53,577 And you think she cared for you more than I do? 625 00:27:53,657 --> 00:27:55,057 Yes, she did. 626 00:27:56,177 --> 00:27:58,337 I loved her more than I will ever love you. 627 00:27:58,897 --> 00:27:59,897 Infact I just... 628 00:28:00,337 --> 00:28:01,537 ...hate you! 629 00:28:03,577 --> 00:28:06,617 Yes yes...you can hate me all you like Siddhi! 630 00:28:06,697 --> 00:28:09,097 But that won't get you a nice boy to marry! 631 00:28:09,737 --> 00:28:11,097 One meeting with that Mohit boy... 632 00:28:11,177 --> 00:28:13,017 ...and he turned gay! 633 00:28:13,097 --> 00:28:14,617 He chose men over you! 634 00:28:14,697 --> 00:28:16,817 Shut up! Just shut up Sneha! 635 00:28:18,977 --> 00:28:19,697 You know what? 636 00:28:19,777 --> 00:28:20,657 Maybe...just maybe... 637 00:28:20,737 --> 00:28:22,497 ...you should try eating once in a while! 638 00:28:22,577 --> 00:28:24,297 It might make you a nicer person! 639 00:28:28,617 --> 00:28:30,457 Julie Didi! Cheese toast! 640 00:28:31,097 --> 00:28:32,457 Siddhi baby, salad. 641 00:28:33,617 --> 00:28:34,337 Siddhi! 642 00:28:34,817 --> 00:28:36,577 This is our new maid, Lekha Didi. 643 00:28:37,417 --> 00:28:38,857 Where's Julie Didi? 644 00:28:39,297 --> 00:28:40,777 I had to fire her baby. 645 00:28:42,057 --> 00:28:44,577 That witch had turned this place into a cupcake factory. 646 00:28:45,777 --> 00:28:47,137 C'mon, eat your salad.