1 00:00:37,515 --> 00:00:40,997 All right, gang, I know we're all hungry because we skipped second lunch, 2 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,304 but let's try not to freak out, okay? 3 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,435 We've made it this far 4 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,915 and I'm sure the fertile part 5 00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,873 is just over that hill up ahead. 6 00:00:50,702 --> 00:00:52,487 Okay, my bad. 7 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,662 Your bad indeed! 8 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,620 You said it, boss. 9 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,187 He sure did. 10 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:58,231 Zip it, dumdums! 11 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:01,539 But I'm too young to die! 12 00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:03,933 And I'm too pretty! 13 00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,718 Boys. So dramatic. 14 00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:10,331 If it gets to the point we have to survive by eating each other, 15 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,637 I say we start with the Dragon Master 16 00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:15,597 since he got everyone's hopes up. Except mine. 17 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,903 I know how to manage my expectations! 18 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,254 Ooh! Very tender. 19 00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,298 Hey! 20 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:30,002 I was kidding! I'm a vegetarian. 21 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,493 We're lookin' for the Mayor. 22 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:43,973 You boys seen Li? 23 00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,061 Nope. 24 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,497 You seen him, Dim? 25 00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,151 Sure haven't, Sum. 26 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,762 Where are the Guardians of the Wellspring? 27 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,112 Uh... 28 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,939 What's a well spring, Dim? 29 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,593 Darned if I know, Sum. 30 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,644 Attention, everybody. 31 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:06,038 I just wanted to confirm that everything is totally normal in the village 32 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:10,130 and nothing weird or concerning is going on with the Wellspring. 33 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:13,742 And in even more good news, Mei Mei is apparently going on tour, 34 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,875 so all further performances of hers have been canceled. 35 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,357 It's a miracle! 36 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,664 Are you Mayor Li? 37 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:23,969 I sure am. 38 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:26,798 And also my son is the Dragon Master. 39 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,105 We come from the palace on behalf of Mistress... 40 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,846 Empress Xiao. 41 00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:34,023 Dragon Master Po received your letter regarding the Wellspring 42 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,504 and asked us to come on his behalf. 43 00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,245 Oh, thank heavens! 44 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,508 Help has arrived! 45 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,901 We'd like to speak with you in private 46 00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,034 so as not to alarm the other villagers. 47 00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:47,602 A top secret government meeting. 48 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,299 Oh! Po would be so proud. 49 00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:50,692 He's my son, you know. 50 00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,699 Is it dark in here 51 00:02:57,742 --> 00:03:00,782 or am I finally suffering the consequences of having looked into that eclipse? 52 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:05,707 I think I just need to get a little air. 53 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:09,493 I think I'm having a panic attack. 54 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,713 Do either of you 55 00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,367 have a paper bag? 56 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:22,202 How do I look? I want my people to see a leader. 57 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:24,726 Someone who is warm and kind. 58 00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:27,642 Not scaly and badly dressed. No offense. 59 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:30,035 How could I possibly be offended? 60 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:34,344 Your highness. I come before you on behalf of Bunnyburg. 61 00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:36,607 The drought is worse than ever. 62 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,479 We are unable to grow crops 63 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:41,873 and the resources we ship in have ceased completely. 64 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:45,137 Well, that is just unacceptable. 65 00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,314 How did that sound? 66 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:51,056 I was going for authoritative, but also a, "Hey, the Empress is just like us" vibe. 67 00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,841 It worked for me? 68 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,191 Oh, really? Thank you so much. You are so sweet. 69 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,759 I thought the pipeline thingy was supposed to be working by now. 70 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,675 Projects of this size and nature take time. 71 00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,740 I'm starting to think we can't wait for Dragon Master Po 72 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,505 and the Four Constellations to arrive. 73 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,029 I think I might have to investigate this on my own. 74 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,901 I say this with the utmost respect, Your Majesty, 75 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:13,514 you can't just wave a wand and fix everything. 76 00:04:13,557 --> 00:04:16,908 You're absolutely right, Shi Long. 77 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,388 Note to self, buy a scepter. 78 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,912 I pinky swear to personally see to it 79 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:24,655 that our plans to address the drought be sped up asap. 80 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:34,796 In the meantime, my Imperial Guards will prepare a large shipment 81 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:39,453 of food and resources to be sent back with you to Chinchillaville. 82 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,108 Uh, I'm actually a Rabbit. 83 00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,458 Of course you are. 84 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:47,765 Oh, thank you, your highness. Oh, thank you so much. 85 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:49,985 Yes! Nailed it. 86 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:01,866 Easy, little guys, we come in peace. 87 00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:06,218 Peace? We do not do peace. We are warriors! 88 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,529 Look, look, guys! Hey! 89 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,618 I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding. 90 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,011 We don't want to hurt you. 91 00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,142 I kinda do. 92 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:19,101 Uh, mmm, can we just talk for a sec? Huh? 93 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,339 'Cause we're kind of in a hurry. 94 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:23,845 Talk? Ha! We do not talk. 95 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,499 We fight. 96 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,370 We punch, we kick, 97 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:30,199 we do head butts, sometimes there's biting, 98 00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,635 finger pointing in the... 99 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,640 This thing's so defective. Attack! 100 00:05:47,608 --> 00:05:48,609 Huh? 101 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,262 Ow, ow, ow! 102 00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:58,793 Bao? 103 00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:02,884 'Sup? 104 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:10,520 All hail glorious Bao! How do they know your name? 105 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:14,112 Shh! I'm basking. It's beautiful. All hail glorious Bao! 106 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:19,379 We have read the holy text and have waited for the arrival of our savior. 107 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,598 Oh, brother. Literally. 108 00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:24,862 You are all invited to a big feast 109 00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:28,997 in honor of the new God of the Wasteland. 110 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,392 Ah! The God of the Wasteland, yeah! 111 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,132 That sounds so edgy, so urban. 112 00:06:34,176 --> 00:06:36,657 You had us at big feast. 113 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,095 Who else knows about the Wellspring being in danger? 114 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,663 Is this a prank? Did Ping put you up to this? 115 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:46,144 Who's Ping? Does he know about the Wellspring, too? 116 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:49,060 No one knows about the Wellspring missing besides me. 117 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:53,891 Perfect. Let's move to Phase Two. 118 00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:57,373 I do not like Phase Two. I repeat, I do not like Phase Two. 119 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,640 Your pedipalps are magic! 120 00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:06,121 My, you are just full of tension. 121 00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:09,472 I'd love to go all shiatsu on you, but I might draw blood. 122 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:12,301 Oh! What the heck? What are you doing on my table? 123 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,521 That's a health code violation. 124 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:18,046 I've got very urgent business, Li is missing! 125 00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,743 Uh, please, 126 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,267 I just have a number of questions about Phase Two. 127 00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:23,834 Well, we found him. 128 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,314 Looks like we're too late. 129 00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:28,665 Spider-guy, I need you to work on my trapezius muscles. 130 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:31,320 Well, if you're not gonna do anything, I will! 131 00:07:31,363 --> 00:07:34,366 Dead or alive, I'm getting my best friend back. 132 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,587 And revenge! 133 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:45,813 Hey. 134 00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:04,527 In honor of the arrival of our new god and esteemed guests, 135 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:08,836 I present to you, a traditional feast 136 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,273 of all of our favorite foods. 137 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:15,016 I wonder if they're gonna have dry salty plums? 138 00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:16,974 I've had a craving since last season. 139 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:22,284 But first. We will begin the seven-hour crowning ritual. 140 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:32,294 Now with that out of the way, let us enjoy the nourishment 141 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,992 that our bountiful fields provide. 142 00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,256 Feast! 143 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,738 Ooh, hot, hot, hot. 144 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,437 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 145 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,878 Can you pass the salt? 146 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,621 Uh, guys, am I missing something? 147 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:57,841 I think we're all missing something. The food. 148 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:04,674 I'm all for using your imagination, but this, 149 00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,197 this is a whole other level. 150 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:10,506 Okay, I'm officially hangry. 151 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,944 Jing, our heroic-ness is for helping others. 152 00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:15,467 Especially those in need. 153 00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:18,340 And they are clearly in need. 154 00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:23,214 Oh! Is our food not good enough for you village folk? 155 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,347 What? No! No, no, no, no. 156 00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:28,045 We're just, uh, taking it all in. 157 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:31,266 Look at all this yummy... Stuff. 158 00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,181 Did you whip this up yourself? 159 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:36,184 Because, I mean, wow, this, I mean you should get a food cart, truly. 160 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:37,838 I mean, you could take this on the road. 161 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:41,668 Mmm. Oh, almost as good as my dad's. 162 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:44,192 I mean, it's better than my dad's. So good. 163 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,628 It's really good. 164 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:51,112 To Bao, the God of the Wasteland! 165 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,854 All hail glorious Bao! 166 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:56,421 We prayed he would come. 167 00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:59,076 And now I'm here! God status, y'all. 168 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,732 Tell my son how you'll save us all. 169 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,126 Save you from what exactly? 170 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:07,737 The Beast of the Wasteland, of course! 171 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,827 When the earth tremors collapsed our tunnel system 172 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:16,137 we had to move above ground where the beast has been picking us off one by one. 173 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:20,271 He refuses to accept our generous food offerings. 174 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,230 Can't imagine why. 175 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:26,234 It is the same beast that you defeated in your scroll! 176 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,366 We are saved! 177 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,804 Oh, the Key-lin. 178 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,110 Yeah, I totally know how to defeat that guy. 179 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:36,070 It's pronounced "Chee-lin." 180 00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,681 Now where does this "Chee-lin" live? 181 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,042 The Empress is starting to interfere with our plans. 182 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:58,570 You must control the Empress until everything is in place. 183 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:02,226 I will. 184 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,707 With the palace still reeling from the Emperor's death, 185 00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:08,102 there's a power vacuum left that I intend to fill. 186 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:09,494 How? 187 00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:11,366 I've hired an assassin. 188 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:14,412 You fool! You are not even in the lineage. 189 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:18,721 What is your plan? Assassinate the next 50 relatives in line? 190 00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,331 I, I... 191 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,594 Hard power is brittle, 192 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:26,076 soft power is resilient. 193 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:31,255 You must use the Empress until we no longer need her. 194 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,127 Fix this. 195 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,350 You got this, man. You're a god now. 196 00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,222 And you totally look the part. 197 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,659 You know we can all hear you, right? 198 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,574 You made your bed, now go lay in it 199 00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:48,490 so we can get to the Forbidden City and help the Emperor. 200 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,753 You know I never make my bed. 201 00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:55,192 Bao is great, but I think we should all go, or... Ow! 202 00:11:55,236 --> 00:12:00,110 The holy text said you defeated the beast alone. 203 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:02,809 You got this, Bao. Make us proud. 204 00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:14,516 Just going for a short walk, alone. 205 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,258 Be back in a jif. 206 00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,703 Hello? Is anybody there? 207 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:52,467 'Sup, bro? Nice, uh, back flame. 208 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,873 The beast has been defeated. 209 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:14,445 All hail glorious Bao! Let's go, move along, time's a wasting. 210 00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,538 Probably just a death rattle, you know. 211 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,022 Very common with creatures of that... 212 00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,281 Size. 213 00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:27,241 You are a liar! 214 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:31,767 You have broken our hearts into a million little pieces. 215 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,073 Okay, fine! 216 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:37,599 I admit my memoir was a bit of an embellishment. 217 00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:41,124 And by embellishment he means totally made up. 218 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:45,041 False God! False God! False God! 219 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:50,003 We spent weeks building a statue to honor you. 220 00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:56,878 I'll take Bao's place. 221 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,622 What? Bao always has my back. 222 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,841 No. Not really. 223 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,016 When? So I've got his. 224 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,978 Okay, at this point I think that I should just... Seriously? 225 00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,937 Fan Tong, what are you doing? 226 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,460 Let Master Po handle this. 227 00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:14,679 The strange sand puppies gave me the nod. 228 00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:15,898 I'm trying to help you. 229 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,595 But I don't want your help. 230 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,162 What's wrong with my help? 231 00:14:19,206 --> 00:14:21,991 I'm perfectly capable. Move, please. 232 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,035 Make me. 233 00:14:37,354 --> 00:14:39,313 Just leave me alone. No! 234 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,445 Why? Because I'm your friend! 235 00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,320 Say uncle. 236 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:48,931 Bao. Say it. Say uncle! 237 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,456 You're not my uncle! 238 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:04,991 All hail glorious Fan Tong! 239 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:08,472 Stop. You're making me blush. 240 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,866 Probably gonna hurt scroll sales. 241 00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:15,871 Okay, I take back what I said. 242 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:20,615 You might get away with this, but there's still a chance to do the right thing, 243 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,530 which I'm sure you will. 244 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:25,315 Not so fast. 245 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,839 You best be on your way back to the old folks' home. 246 00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:30,842 Unless you want a fast track to the Spirit Realm. 247 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,606 After the life I've lived, there ain't no way they're gonna let me in. 248 00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,129 Ping? Grandma? Is that you? 249 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:59,828 Oh, let me feel your warm embrace! 250 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:00,960 Oh, well, we tried. 251 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,312 Yo, nice catch, Giant Spider. 252 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:07,967 The pleasure was all mine. 253 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,403 Here goes nothing. 254 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,932 Oh, thank you so much for saving my life. 255 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,717 If there is anything I can do to repay you. 256 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,806 Money is good. Now what? 257 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:26,550 It seems the Imperial Guards don't want us to know the Wellspring is missing. 258 00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:29,989 Which means there is only one place left to go. 259 00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:36,212 Mistress Long, Empress Xiao is not in her chamber. 260 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,432 She insisted on going for a short walk, alone. 261 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:42,349 Argh! Don't you know how dangerous it is for the Empress to be alone right now? 262 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:06,389 Empress, what brings you to this part of the palace? 263 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:08,913 I want to see the pipeline plans for myself. 264 00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:10,828 You know I'm more of a visual learner. 265 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:14,745 Yes, I recall you copying off of my old tests in home school. 266 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:18,488 Oh, Shi Long. You're such a martyr. 267 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,011 Where is your study anyway? 268 00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,057 Ah, the door is just at the end there. 269 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,103 Full disclosure, there is a lot of dust, 270 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,061 old paint, bones of fired servants, 271 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,845 discarded artificial kumquat trees, 272 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,630 boxes of collars from deceased pets, 273 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:33,677 expired deadly potions, and possibly a family of albino third cousins. 274 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,114 Although I believe they moved. 275 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,638 Ah! Ew. 276 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,770 Really no place for an Empress. 277 00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,250 We have a big day tomorrow 278 00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,166 and I know we both want your father's funeral service 279 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,473 to be absolutely perfect. 280 00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:48,431 You should try and get some rest. 281 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,041 What would I do without you? 282 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,567 I'd probably be fine, but you know what I mean. 283 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,874 Why would Imperial Guards try to Phase Two me 284 00:18:56,918 --> 00:19:00,313 for contacting Po to tell him the Wellspring is in danger? 285 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,184 It doesn't make any sense. 286 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,926 Two words, government corruption. 287 00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,634 We doin' this or what? 288 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,611 Holy underpants. 289 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,407 Our heroic-ness is for helping others. 290 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,156 Hi, friend. Are you okay? 291 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,855 I don't wanna hurt you. 292 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:08,250 I've come to ask you to please leave the weird ground rodents alone. 293 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,949 They may be crazy, but you've eaten their friends and that's just mean. 294 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:15,649 I did not eat their friends. 295 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:23,613 So, I says to the guy, "I'm a mole, not a rat." 296 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,311 And he lets me go. 297 00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,226 Then I totally ratted him out. 298 00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,753 I was lonely and have no friends. 299 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,451 I've always been a fan of comedy, 300 00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,410 and they'd already paid the two drink minimum, 301 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:40,369 so I felt weird about kicking them out. 302 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,631 I love comedy! 303 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,198 You do? Totally! 304 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,983 I'm sure my friend Bao could come up with a clean tight five. 305 00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:48,334 Well, that sounds great! I'd love to have him. 306 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,598 I'd love to have all your friends. Just let me go get some fliers. 307 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:57,908 Great news, everyone. I killed the Qilin. 308 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:05,568 With kindness. And our shared love of stand-up comedy. 309 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,091 Stand-up what? 310 00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:09,311 I prefer to be prone when I laugh. 311 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,792 And now the Qilin and I are friends. 312 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:17,014 You have proven yourself to be a true warrior through your compassion. 313 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:18,973 I always wanted a pony. 314 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,889 Anyway, the Qilin agreed to leave you guys alone from now on. 315 00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:27,329 A truce! A truce! A truce! 316 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,028 Would you care for an apple? 317 00:21:32,465 --> 00:21:33,770 Great job, buddy. 318 00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:35,946 Solved the problem and nobody got hurt. 319 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:38,906 Well, except for Bao, egotistically speaking. 320 00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:41,996 All hail glorious Fan Tong! Wow, thank you. 321 00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,216 I'm very flattered, but I'm not your god. 322 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,610 My friends and I must continue on our journey. 323 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:49,699 But we wish you the best of luck. 324 00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:52,417 And, uh, we'll make sure to speak with the Emperor about getting you guys water 325 00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:55,270 to help your, uh, civilization thrive again. 326 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,577 I'm guessing it thrived once? Maybe? 327 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:03,626 There it is! The Forbidden City! 328 00:22:11,939 --> 00:22:13,506 I can tell you're angry. 329 00:22:13,549 --> 00:22:16,509 You ambushed me on a job you hired me for. 330 00:22:16,552 --> 00:22:20,600 I always complete my missions. No matter what. 331 00:22:20,643 --> 00:22:24,386 Don't worry, I have a much bigger mission for you now. 332 00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:26,562 And do you have any associates? 333 00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:31,611 You will need some help taking out the Dragon Master and his students, 334 00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:34,004 the Four Constellations.