1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,506
[eerie music]
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,633
[owl hoots]
3
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:14,264
♪ ♪
4
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,599
Hey, you okay?
Need a ride?
5
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,017
Oh, okay.
6
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:24,315
♪ ♪
7
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,942
[laughter]
8
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,861
And I don't have work today
9
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,113
since I quit
my meaningless job,
10
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,990
so let's go ahead
and make those bottomless.
11
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,450
- The nachos?
- Yeah.
12
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,743
This is so cool.
13
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,244
I've never even been
on a double date,
14
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,871
and now I'm on a triple?
15
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,873
Actually, we're not really
feeling this, right?
16
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,041
- Yeah. Gave it a shot.
- Okay, bye.
17
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,460
Oh, we're watching
"Survivor" next week,
18
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,794
if you want to come.
19
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,171
Hey, I gotta run
to the bathroom.
20
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,338
Order me pancakes?
21
00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,048
[chuckles] Sure.
22
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,968
So isn't he great?
23
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,970
We're sort of a couple now.
24
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,890
And how are you a couple?
25
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Okay, yes,
I know it's not ideal
26
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,478
since he's in character
as an 18-year-old virgin,
27
00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,563
so we haven't been able
to have sex yet.
28
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,900
But his show wraps today,
so then we will get to have sex
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,651
and, technically, meet.
30
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,236
And it's cool dating an actor.
31
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We just, like, get each other,
you know?
32
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,615
Totally. And same.
33
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,158
Lance and I are so well-matched
34
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,951
now that we've both left
the industry.
35
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,661
We were always
well-matched, B.
36
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,206
Yeah, and he pushes me, too,
in my career.
37
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,832
Like, this morning
I shot a self-tape
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for this big period drama.
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00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,252
And then tonight,
I have a director's session
40
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- with Wes Anderson on Zoom.
- What?
41
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,048
And then another
Zoom audition after that.
42
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,842
So we're sort of, like,
a Hollywood power couple.
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Oh.
44
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,721
Hey, I missed you.
45
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Like, a lot.
46
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Aw.
47
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[lips smacking]
48
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Ugh.
49
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[suspenseful music]
50
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♪ ♪
51
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,903
[laughter]
52
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,822
Wait, so, Curtis,
how's "The Gay Minute"?
53
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,491
I still watch every day.
You got mad charisma, bro.
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You should be on TV.
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- Thank you.
- Yeah, really.
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00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,578
You're, like, better
than I was.
57
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All right, shut up.
That's nice. I'm trying.
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I just don't have reps
right now,
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00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,416
so I have to troll
Actor's Access
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00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,252
for auditions, which is humil--
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00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:13,174
♪ ♪
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Wait, Mom?
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Yes! Hi, honey.
Can I eat this?
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00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,097
Wait, where is
your security detail?
65
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,891
Oh, I don't need all that for
a simple brunch with my kids.
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They'd have to get clearances,
sweep the place.
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I didn't want to bother them.
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00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,604
So they don't know
you're here?
69
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,606
No.
I escaped in the night, Cary.
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That's fully insane.
71
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Yeah, and I didn't realize
how long it would take
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00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,194
to walk to Manhattan,
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but it's worth it
to be with my kids.
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Wait.
Oh, my God, Pat Dubek?
75
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:40,076
- [excited chatter]
- Oh, my God. No. Sorry.
76
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Sorry, we're just trying
to have
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a nice, normal family brunch.
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My God!
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Oh, there she is.
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Move away.
Step back, please. Ma'am.
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Ma'am, you cannot
sneak out on us.
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{\an8}What? I didn't!
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{\an8}Ah, dang it.
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{\an8}[laughing] Oh, my God.
85
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{\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪
86
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I'm sorry
for sneaking out, Frank.
87
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,014
It won't happen again,
I promise.
88
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It's all good, ma'am.
Thank you.
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Anyway, how have you been?
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00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,394
{\an8}How's your mom's cancer?
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{\an8}Not good. Stage four.
92
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{\an8}She's in hospice
out on Long Island.
93
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{\an8}- Oh, no, I'm so sorry
to hear that.
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00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,945
{\an8}- Is she still on Long Island?
- What?
95
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,447
Well, yeah, I just said
that she's--
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That's nice, though.
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And you grew up
on Long Island, right, Frank?
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What is your favorite,
longest story
99
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:27,165
about growing up
on Long Island?
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00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,125
Oh, wow.
101
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,794
[laughs]
That's so funny, Frank.
102
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[sighs] Pat's on the move.
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Frank!
[laughter]
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Okay, so I guess we can take
DaBaby off the list.
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[laughter]
Don't want to deal with that!
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- [laughter]
- No way!
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[laughing awkwardly]
108
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Deal with what?
Uh, what did he do?
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00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,562
Oh, just some,
uh, industry gossip.
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But you're no longer
in the industry,
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00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,399
so doesn't feel right
telling you.
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Oh, that's totally fine.
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Um, and actually,
it's why I'm here--
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to say my goodbyes.
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As you may have heard,
I have left the industry
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00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:02,992
to start doing good.
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[chuckles]
Well, not today.
118
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,705
Today is Friday.
But Monday, I do good.
119
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:11,167
And honestly, I feel sad
for all of you still here,
120
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:15,838
just piddling away
at this pointless job.
121
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:19,133
So I have a challenge: join me.
122
00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:23,471
Leave this behind and choose
a life of meaning, of goodness,
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00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:28,101
a life where we can make
a difference together!
124
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,104
So who's with me?
125
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,193
You know what? I am.
126
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,528
Shuli?
127
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,029
I quit.
128
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,908
Okay, is that it?
Is it just Trish?
129
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,576
You know what,
it's probably not worth it
130
00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:46,869
if it's just us two.
131
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So, Trish, you can--
you can stay.
132
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,456
Well, I don't want her now.
133
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,041
She just quit.
134
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,584
Trish, you're fired.
135
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,294
Oh, Trish.
136
00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:01,384
Well, my work here is done,
so I am off to help the world.
137
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,887
Minus, uh, Trish,
whose life I did just ruin.
138
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,473
So goodbye, all,
and not to be rude,
139
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,267
but there is
not one single thing
140
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,644
I'm gonna miss
about the industry.
141
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,440
Okay, next order of business,
tonight's big, huge party!
142
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,733
- Ooh, a party.
- A party?
143
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,234
Yay, a party!
[excited chatter]
144
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,153
- Damn it.
- Be not afraid.
145
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,238
As long as there is air
in my lungs,
146
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,741
I will tell your story.
147
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,659
You shan't have died in vain.
148
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,578
Wow, this is incredible!
149
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,912
Oh, I'm sorry, Cary.
150
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:30,997
I'm not in the office
this week.
151
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:31,998
Can you hear me okay?
152
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,374
Yep, and that's great.
153
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,209
- I'm so glad you liked it.
- Loved it.
154
00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,754
I really believed you were
a 16th-century knight.
155
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,591
Unfortunately, I can't
send this to the producers.
156
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,093
Uh, but that's--
that's who I did it for.
157
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,595
It's just, I know for a fact
158
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,305
they picture this role
with long hair.
159
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,058
Oh, well, I just--
I just assumed I would
160
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,642
grow my hair out
if I got the part.
161
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,687
And I'm with you, Cary,
but these people are dumb.
162
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,607
If they don't see long hair,
they can't picture it.
163
00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,276
So if it's between you
and someone with long hair,
164
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,695
nine times out of ten,
they're going with long hair.
165
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,280
Luckily, with self-tapes,
166
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,324
it's easy
to keep making adjustments.
167
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,786
So I say just go out,
buy a wig, style the wig,
168
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,162
apply the wig, redo the tape,
169
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,372
and then I think
we should be good.
170
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,541
Okay. Uh, sure.
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00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,793
Yes.
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00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,795
That sounds, uh, very easy.
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00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:22,215
Okay, so tonight's party
is in the Hamptons.
174
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,051
Ellen is throwing herself
a big birthday bash
175
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,887
and has agreed not to go
so people can enjoy it.
176
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,847
- all: Aww.
- That's nice of her.
177
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,016
Literally everyone
is invited,
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00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,810
as long as they're
in the industry.
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00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,144
[sighs]
180
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,146
And we can't put this off
any longer,
181
00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,981
so Chase will be using
this party
182
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,025
to debut
his shitty little rat look.
183
00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,193
- [all groan]
- What?
184
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,903
I know, but now that he's 18,
185
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,073
he legally has to look like
a gross, shitty little rat
186
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,659
for at least one event,
and I need someone to go with--
187
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:53,663
You know, I could be back in
the industry just for tonight,
188
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,081
if you need someone
to take him.
189
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,041
But then tomorrow,
I am back out.
190
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,167
Well, that's okay.
191
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,044
I'm having Streeter go.
192
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,337
Wait, what?
193
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,131
I get to go to the parties now?
194
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,799
Whoo-hoo!
195
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,009
In your face, Brooke!
[laughs]
196
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,594
Okay, that's totally fine.
197
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,138
I'll just stay out, then.
198
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,722
[chuckles]
Like I wanted.
199
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,016
Just, you know, trying to help.
200
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,476
Oh, those are for employees.
201
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,811
If you want a La Croix,
202
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,063
you'll need to buy one
at the store.
203
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,566
- The store?
- Be not afraid.
204
00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,693
As long as there is air
in my lungs,
205
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,820
I will tell your story.
206
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,405
You shan't have died in vain.
207
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,533
Cary, yes!
This performance is incredible.
208
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,076
It's even better
than your last performance.
209
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,953
Okay, great!
So we can send that one off--
210
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:37,707
But I'm worried
the hair is now too long.
211
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,711
Also, I'm just noticing
all this green behind you.
212
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,212
The green screen?
213
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,881
Well, I know
it's a green screen, Cary.
214
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,091
But these people,
they're gonna think
215
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,968
you're on some kind
of slime planet.
216
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,429
And I know for a fact
they don't want slime pla--
217
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,972
Be not afraid.
218
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,308
As long as there is air
in my lungs,
219
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,893
I will tell your story.
220
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,644
You shan't have died in vain.
221
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,521
Oh, there you are!
Hi, Cary.
222
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,565
Mom, what are you doing here?
223
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,400
Oh, well, I just thought
I'd come hang with you
224
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,943
at your apartment, no biggie.
225
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,778
Did you sneak away from
your security detail again?
226
00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,030
- Oh, Pat Dubek!
- Pat Dubek?
227
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,406
Pat Dubek, over here!
228
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,325
Oh, can you just let me in
real quick?
229
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,243
Ma'am, you have to stop
running away from us.
230
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,661
- Oh, dang it!
- It's okay--
231
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,705
Okay.
The hair is now great, Cary.
232
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:20,082
But obviously, I can't
send this one in.
233
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,542
Yeah, sorry,
I forgot to edit out
234
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,002
the part
where my mom showed up.
235
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,087
No, she's fun.
They'll love that.
236
00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,340
- The problem is the background.
- The what?
237
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,258
You're supposed to be
in the 1500s.
238
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,928
These people are gonna see
a fridge and lose their minds.
239
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,471
So does your apartment have
240
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,348
any Gothic arches
you could feature?
241
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,184
Sorry, does my apartment have
Gothic arches?
242
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,727
Also, your shirt, Cary?
243
00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,563
Knights tended to wear
more armor.
244
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,107
[rap music]
245
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,943
both: ChaseDreams!
[camera shutter clicks]
246
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,694
[laughter]
247
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,242
[sighs]
248
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,952
Hey guys, welcome.
249
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,620
Don't worry. She's not here.
250
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,248
[whispering]
Please, please, please!
251
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,043
You got this.
252
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,255
We're together.
253
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,048
And the same age.
254
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,222
Hi, can I get a, um--
255
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,390
okay.
256
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,683
Yes, I can keep holding.
257
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,227
How was my weekend? Fine!
258
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,853
It was fine.
I had a fine weekend.
259
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,938
Look at that loser.
260
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,898
Been there, but not today.
261
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,483
Today I get to actually
enjoy the party
262
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,528
and not spend
the whole time working.
263
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,488
Okay, rude.
264
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:37,201
But makes sense.
All industry people are.
265
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,162
Ooh!
266
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,706
Hello?
267
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,916
God, fucking agents.
268
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,002
It's just,
what if Ellen shows up?
269
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,838
Oh. Don't worry, she's in LA.
270
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,589
Don't worry, she's in LA.
271
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,466
Okay, I just said that.
272
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:55,011
Oh, come on, I know I'm not
in the industry anymore,
273
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,680
but it's not like
you can't see me.
274
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,852
Or--wait, can--
275
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,730
can people literally
not see me?
276
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,315
Just a reminder,
277
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,693
the museum will be closing
in one hour.
278
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,195
As you can see,
this museum houses
279
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,865
the largest collection
of 16th-century armor
280
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,075
anywhere in the city.
281
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:21,245
Armor was customarily worn
by knights.
282
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,373
These proud warriors were
given the title of knighthood
283
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,833
at a beautiful altar,
284
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,210
like the one
you see before you.
285
00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,421
Here, they'd swear
the knightly code
286
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,964
to protect the weak
287
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,009
and defend the honor
of the entire monarchy.
288
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:39,013
Take a second to really look
at this altar.
289
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:42,058
Isn't it quite an altar?
290
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,352
Now,
as a needless digression--
291
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,395
a folly, really--
turn around
292
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:50,733
and look at the doorway
you just walked into.
293
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,027
Walk up to the knight
on the right.
294
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,571
Not the one on the left.
Look at the one on the ri--
295
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,949
[breathing heavily]
[whispering] Oh, God.
296
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,534
Are they coming back?
No, no, no.
297
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,536
Really get close
to the helmet.
298
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,705
If you get close enough,
you may see
299
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,832
your breath fog up the steel.
300
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:10,127
[breathing heavily]
301
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,671
- [phone buzzing]
- Call from Mackenzie.
302
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:15,007
Do you want to answer?
303
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,467
[whispering]
Yes.
304
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,220
Cary, this last take
was flawless.
305
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,847
Where did you find
that suit of armor?
306
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,474
My closet.
307
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,935
Well, this should
absolutely get you the part.
308
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,604
Unfortunately, they went
with Dylan O'Brien.
309
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,356
What? Fucking O'Brien.
310
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,233
Yeah, they decided
they wanted a name.
311
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,943
So annoying when they do that.
312
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,278
But at least you didn't need
to leave your apartment.
313
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,197
Self-tapes really are
so much easier.
314
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,698
- Mm-hmm.
- Anyway, don't forget
315
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,450
you're Zooming
with Wes Anderson in 45.
316
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,993
Right! Shit. Shit.
[couple screams]
317
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,829
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
318
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,459
I'm truly sorry
for sneaking out again.
319
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,919
Here, I made you some tea.
320
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,462
Thank you, ma'am.
That's very nice.
321
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,089
And we know you wanted
to go to Ellen's tonight,
322
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,590
especially since
she's not gonna be there.
323
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,134
But we assessed
some high-level threats
324
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,343
and think it's safest
not to go.
325
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,803
Oh, I totally understand.
326
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,471
I'm happy to hang here.
327
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,599
Anyway, enjoy your tea, guys.
328
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,478
[vacuum whirring]
329
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,647
[whispering] Three, two, one.
330
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,191
[thumping]
331
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,944
Yes!
332
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,989
Okay, okay, okay.
333
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,490
Pat's on the move!
334
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,868
[rap music]
335
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,578
God, I know.
336
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,371
He is such an asshole.
337
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,373
Who? Who's an asshole?
338
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:32,293
Macey, good to see you.
339
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,586
Hey, guess what.
340
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,004
A bunch of people
are about to take out
341
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,172
one of Ellen's speedboats.
342
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,506
Anyone want to go?
all: Sure.
343
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,175
- Yes, I do!
- Okay.
344
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:44,263
One, two, three, four, five.
345
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,307
Yes! We should all fit.
Come on.
346
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,184
[excited chatter]
347
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,602
[scoffs] What?
348
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,937
That is the craziest thing
I've ever heard.
349
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,647
I can't believe
DaBaby did that.
350
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,649
He'd better hope
that doesn't come out.
351
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:56,901
Hope what doesn't come out?
352
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,529
What did DaBaby do?
353
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:04,700
Hello?
Hello!
354
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,036
Wait, I think
I hear something.
355
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,662
Nope, never mind.
356
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,873
How spooky.
357
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,083
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck
358
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,047
Oh, come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on.
359
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,423
- Cary?
- Hey, hi.
360
00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,467
- Uh, so sorry I'm late.
- Oh, hey!
361
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,053
No, that is 100% fine.
This is low-key.
362
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,721
Wes just wants to chat
with a few people
363
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,932
- he's circling for the role.
- Awesome.
364
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,643
I have never been
circled for anything,
365
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,186
- so this is really cool.
- Great.
366
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,938
Well, why don't you just
hang here
367
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,648
in the waiting room
until Wes is ready.
368
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,358
Oh, and when Wes comes on,
make sure you are
369
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,693
perfectly centered
in the frame, okay?
370
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,487
- Okay.
- Thanks.
371
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,030
[dings]
372
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:50,412
[dings]
373
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,248
Yo, am I on?
Can you hear me?
374
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,166
[groans]
375
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,793
Yeah--uh, I can hear you.
376
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,170
Uh, Dylan O'Brien?
377
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,214
- Sup? Nice to meet you, man.
- You too.
378
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,966
You auditioning for
Ambassador to Belgium too?
379
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,261
Yes. It's a small part,
so I thought I had a shot.
380
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,096
But I guess I do not.
381
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,890
I can't even fucking believe
I still gotta audition.
382
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,642
I'm the fucking
Maze Runner, bro.
383
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,727
Yes, I--yeah. Big fan.
384
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,646
Um, but I think
I'm actually gonna go.
385
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,106
Hey, you reek.
386
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,941
[laughs]
387
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,609
- Sorry, I reek.
- Okay, um--
388
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,027
You know how long
this is gonna be?
389
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,612
- I--I--
- I think I'm gonna take
390
00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,948
a little shower,
'cause I don't smell great.
391
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,409
And Daddy don't do good
on a stinky audish.
392
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,952
- You know what I'm saying?
- Yes.
393
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,579
Just gonna leave this
right here.
394
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,122
You mind letting me know
if they come in?
395
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,540
I'm just gonna turn
my camera off.
396
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,250
Uh, okay. Sure, yeah.
397
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,378
Okay, camera off.
398
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,799
[gasps]
399
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,968
Uh...
[shower running]
400
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,303
Whoo!
401
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,637
[laughs] That's crazy.
402
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,140
It's true.
Like, it is true.
403
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,101
[sighs]
404
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,399
Wait. Can--can you see me?
405
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,609
Of course.
406
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,818
Hey, I'm Doug.
407
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,819
Oh, hi.
408
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,363
No one can see me either.
409
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,532
My cousin who brought me,
he works at WME.
410
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,285
But I'm just
an immigration lawyer.
411
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,996
So the only people
who can see me are--
412
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,539
Oh, this is Betsy.
413
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,833
Her husband's a producer
for Drew Barrymore,
414
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,376
and she's a social worker.
415
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,836
For teens.
416
00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:25,341
Do either of you know
what happened
417
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,925
with DaBaby?
418
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,552
Who's DaBaby?
419
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,304
- [sniffles]
- Oh Natalie, over here.
420
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,847
Brooke, you got
to meet Natalie.
421
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,099
She's a translator
who speaks five languages.
422
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,476
Okay, yes!
423
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,102
Someone hot!
424
00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,729
I mean, hi.
425
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,315
God, it is so fucked up
that people can't see any of us
426
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,859
because we're
"not in the industry."
427
00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,235
Anyway, I'm Brooke.
428
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,695
Yeah, no, we've met before.
429
00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,405
I was at
the "Night Nurse" premiere.
430
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,658
We actually sat
really close to each other.
431
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,994
Sorry. Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.
432
00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,287
Hi, everyone.
433
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,790
My fiancé is about
to sit down.
434
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,209
Oof. So right on you?
435
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,169
That's okay, you were
in a different place then.
436
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,879
But now that you've left
the industry behind,
437
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,422
- I'm sure you can probably see--
- Bathroom this way.
438
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:08,384
How it makes people
a little cra--oh.
439
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,135
[shower running]
440
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,263
Pitty, pitty, pitty, balls.
441
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,307
Truly, thank you for this.
442
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,559
You would think seeing him
naked would be a letdown,
443
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,353
but it is better.
444
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:22,773
And remember, when he gets out,
you have to log off fast, okay?
445
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,108
- Promise.
- Yes. No, no, no.
446
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,609
He won't even know I was here.
447
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,569
[camera shutter clicking]
448
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,405
Hey, you have to mute!
449
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:32,408
If you're gonna screenshot,
you have to mute!
450
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,786
He's coming! He's coming! Go!
Log off, log off, log off!
451
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,246
Oh, my God,
I can't find the button.
452
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,123
- I can't find the button!
- Just hit the X!
453
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,749
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- I can't find the button!
454
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,918
[chimes]
455
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,420
Camera on.
456
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,296
Yo, what's up?
Did I miss anything?
457
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:49,258
No, no.
Just sitting here waiting.
458
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,301
Um, so you could actually
pop back in that shower,
459
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,553
- if you wanted--
- Hey, guys.
460
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,971
Thank you so much for waiting.
461
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,431
But unfortunately,
Wes has decided
462
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,890
to go with George Clooney.
463
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,392
It's nothing
against the two of you.
464
00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,935
- He just wanted a huge name.
- Yeah.
465
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,646
So annoying, right?
Okay. Take care.
466
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,107
- Bye.
- Wow. Fucking Clooney.
467
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,984
- [sighs] Stupid.
- Every time.
468
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,485
Well, good luck
with everything, man.
469
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:09,820
I'm gonna take
a long, hard piss.
470
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,614
- All right.
- Camera off.
471
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,075
[pee sloshing]
472
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,035
Nakey pee-pee.
473
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,082
[sighs]
474
00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,085
[shower running]
475
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:28,255
[ominous music]
476
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,465
♪ ♪
477
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,134
What the--
478
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,303
hello?
479
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,721
Is someone there?
480
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:41,977
♪ ♪
481
00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,645
Oh, shit.
482
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,147
Help!
483
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,523
I need help in here!
484
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,358
- He's in here!
- Help!
485
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:49,860
- What's up? What's wrong?
- What's going on?
486
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,111
- Are you okay?
- Why is the shower on?
487
00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,279
The mirror.
488
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,364
Someone's writing something
489
00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,783
on the mirror.
490
00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,662
♪ ♪
491
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,414
Oh, my God. Okay.
492
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,500
No one freak out, but I think
493
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,002
Brooke Dubek is
in this bathroom.
494
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,837
- What? Right now?
- How freaky.
495
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:11,048
Yeah, she recently left
the industry
496
00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,425
but hasn't
fully crossed over yet.
497
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,427
'Cause being out sucks,
Shuli!
498
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,971
No cool people can
see or hear me?
499
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,849
Brooke, if you're trying
to contact us,
500
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,310
we cannot see or hear you!
501
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,520
[screams]
502
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,521
Okay, you know what? Here.
503
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,647
Anyone have any wine?
504
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,731
It's just, I used to be
505
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,650
a 35-year-old in the industry.
506
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,195
But now I'm just
a 35-year-old person?
507
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,696
That's fucking nothing!
508
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,031
Where is she?
509
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,116
So you know what?
No. Fuck it.
510
00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,493
I'm back in the industry.
511
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,037
Ah! Oh, Jesus.
512
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,289
Oh.
[gasps]
513
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,084
[all screaming]
514
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,628
Hello, Brooke.
515
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,213
- [chimes]
- Uh, hi. Cary?
516
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,465
Hey. Hi, sorry I'm late.
517
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,551
Uh, my last Zoom
ran hard--long.
518
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,053
- Uh, it ran long. Um--
- Uh, no worries.
519
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,013
And quick Q before we start.
520
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:03,475
You guys, uh--you don't want
a name for this one, do you?
521
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,893
No, not at all.
522
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,229
This is a sitcom pilot
for Paramount+,
523
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,730
so we're seeing
tons of no-names.
524
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,316
Great, great.
And uh, one more thing.
525
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,110
All the sides I got
526
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,904
were for a female character
named Courtney.
527
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:18,657
Uh, yes, this role was
a woman till yesterday,
528
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,242
but now she's a gay man.
529
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,451
Oh, okay.
530
00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,995
Well, I didn't get
any new pages.
531
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,246
Oh, there are none.
532
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,248
But uh, it still works.
533
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,877
Oh. Um, okay.
534
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,753
I guess let's--let's do it.
535
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,297
Great.
[clears throat]
536
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,382
"Tegan and her BFF Courtney,
537
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:39,261
29, hot even with no makeup,
get manicures."
538
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,972
Okay, girl. Dish.
Hot date tonight?
539
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,557
Ha! Girl, I wish.
540
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,059
Ever since my promotion,
I haven't even had the energy
541
00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,519
to flirt with a guy.
542
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,938
I guess us girls
can't have it all.
543
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:53,317
[laughs]
Courtney, stop PMSing.
544
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,152
- You'll find Mr. Right.
- When?
545
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,487
It's not like I'm gonna
find anyone at work,
546
00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,866
except Rick, who spends
all day staring at my ass.
547
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,910
God, men are such pigs.
548
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:03,994
You need a spa day.
549
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,580
No, girl. I need a spa year!
550
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,666
Uh, yes!
Wow, that was perfect.
551
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,835
- That was so funny, Cary.
- Thank you, thank you.
552
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:15,130
We should actually have
a decision for you soon,
553
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,965
- maybe the next few hours.
- Whoa!
554
00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,717
Uh, great.
Well, thank you so much.
555
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,302
I just gotta run
to a party, but yeah--
556
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,471
No, thank you.
We're such fans.
557
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,389
- Oh, thank you!
- Bye.
558
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,641
Bye.
559
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,602
[exhales]
560
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,732
[upbeat music]
561
00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,692
♪ ♪
562
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:39,780
Thank you so much.
[chuckles]
563
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,782
Good to see you.
564
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,869
[sighs]
565
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,454
So who's an asshole?
566
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:50,165
Oh, Channing Tatum's
old makeup artist.
567
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,917
- Yes! Fuck him or her.
- Mm.
568
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,670
God, this is so much better
than talking to some girl
569
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,005
who speaks five languages.
570
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:59,841
Oh, you were talking
to Natalie.
571
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:00,968
She's my little sister.
572
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,761
Oh, of course you know Natalie,
573
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,846
'cause of Lance.
574
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:08,558
I--sorry, that Natalie girl
knows Lance?
575
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:09,851
Well, yeah, I mean,
she translates
576
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,353
for a lot of his patients,
577
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,854
so they always hang
at the hospital.
578
00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,272
They have this whole banter
in Spanish.
579
00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,649
It's annoying.
580
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,234
I never know
what they're talking about.
581
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,652
But you knew that, right?
582
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,029
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
583
00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,991
Sorry, I want to go say hi
to her some more.
584
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,200
Good luck.
585
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,160
I never can find her
at these things.
586
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,370
Right.
587
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,456
'Cause she is now invisible
to me.
588
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,833
Thank you.
589
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,547
Cary?
Oh, thank God it's you.
590
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,757
It's not Ellen. We're fine.
[all sigh]
591
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,551
- Hey.
- Hey!
592
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,428
- I have the craziest news.
- What?
593
00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,471
I just booked a roll
off of Actor's Access.
594
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,598
What?
Curtis, that's incredible.
595
00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,392
Yeah.
It's for this Paramount+ pilot.
596
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,102
I mean, it's kind of fucked up
because the role used to be
597
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,687
a woman, and they just
changed it to a gay guy,
598
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,188
but whatever.
599
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,315
The script's funny,
they love me, and I got it.
600
00:21:57,315 --> 00:21:58,734
[laughs]
601
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,570
Wow, that's--
that's incredible.
602
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:04,239
I--really, that's so amazing.
603
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,657
Um, I'm just gonna--
604
00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,702
I'm gonna run to the bathroom
real quick.
605
00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:13,874
Fuck, fucking fuck, fuck.
606
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,546
Hey, babe.
607
00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,214
- Oh, hey.
- How are you?
608
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:24,342
Um, you're, uh--you're not
in character anymore.
609
00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,470
Hooray. Hi.
610
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,472
Sorry, I am, uh--
611
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,974
- I'm just having the worst day.
- Oh, babe.
612
00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,851
First I got passed over
for all these roles
613
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,353
'cause they're looking
for names, which sucks.
614
00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,147
But, like, I get it.
They're above me.
615
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:42,110
But now I just got passed over
for someone who is, uh--
616
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,529
for Curtis, which is--
which is great,
617
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,240
but he's been hosting.
618
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,118
I'm the one who's been,
like, acting.
619
00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,703
Oh, I'm sorry, babe.
620
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,789
That's exactly how I felt
when my grandma and I lost
621
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,458
our town's annual Christmas
decorating showdown last year.
622
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,918
And I'm sure he was good,
623
00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,003
but I thought
I killed that audition.
624
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,838
That's hard,
which is why this year,
625
00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:05,342
my grandma and I are gonna use
twice as many Christmas lights.
626
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:08,053
Wait, why do you keep
talking about Christmas?
627
00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:12,307
Oh, no, did you get cast
in something else?
628
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,310
Shit!
629
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,270
You booked
a gay Christmas movie already?
630
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,439
And do we really need to be in
character full-time for that--
631
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:22,984
Shh.
Babe, you're stressed out.
632
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,319
Let me go get you some eggnog.
633
00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:27,364
[upbeat dance music]
634
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,199
♪ ♪
635
00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:30,826
Oh, wow.
636
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:35,622
♪ ♪
637
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:37,332
[squeals]
638
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:38,792
Hello.
639
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,836
Totally, totally, totally.
That's really cool.
640
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,380
- See you later.
- So pretty.
641
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,632
- Gosh, this party's so nice.
- Yeah.
642
00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:47,759
You know, my security team
was worried about me
643
00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,719
coming to this,
but why would I need
644
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,346
security at an industry party?
645
00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:53,723
There's no fans, no paparazzi.
646
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,016
Yeah, that is weird.
647
00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:56,935
Anyways, hi.
I'm Zack Smith from CAA.
648
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,520
- I represent Priyanka Chopra.
- Oh.
649
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,772
I'd love to set you two up
for a general,
650
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,691
maybe find a show for her on P!
651
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,443
Pat! Tim Downey.
I work with Laverne Cox.
652
00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:07,237
I think she'd be
a fantastic fit for P!
653
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:08,572
Let me tell you why.
654
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:09,781
Pat, you know
who you gotta meet?
655
00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:11,491
He's hilarious. Frankie Grande.
656
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,368
Pat, you know
who you would love?
657
00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:14,911
Teresa Giudice's daughter.
658
00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:16,830
I really would love
to get you down for a lunch.
659
00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,415
- Coffee sometime?
- Pushing 40, but--
660
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:20,041
- Teresa Giudice's daughter.
- Frank?
661
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:21,543
- Priyanka Chopra--
- Pat, you have to meet--
662
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,211
Nathan?
[all talking at once]
663
00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:25,714
Frank? Nathan?
664
00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:26,756
Frank?
665
00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,216
Nathan?
666
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:30,093
Oh, my God!
667
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:31,636
She's a Jonas now!
668
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,848
Natalie?
669
00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:38,894
Hot Natalie?
670
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,188
Oh!
There you are, Natalie.
671
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,814
Brooke, hey.
672
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:44,608
We were just talking about
the lack of proper education--
673
00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,359
Okay, I'm gonna assume
that you are talking,
674
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,819
but I cannot see you,
675
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,572
because whatever you're saying
is too boring.
676
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,908
So I need you to say
something really cool
677
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,702
so it pushes its way
through to my realm.
678
00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:59,581
Are you related
to anyone famous?
679
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,250
No.
680
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,668
Okay, I still can't see you,
681
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,754
so I'm gonna assume
that's a no.
682
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,548
Have you ever worked
in the industry?
683
00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:12,093
Uh, I was once an extra
on "Smallville."
684
00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:14,512
Yes! Yes, I see a hand.
What else, Natalie?
685
00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:16,514
What else could make me
see you as a person?
686
00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:18,600
I dated Topher Grace
for three weeks.
687
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,353
[angelic choir sings]
688
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,687
Okay, what the hell?
689
00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:24,814
I didn't get that
when I became visible.
690
00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:27,275
Anyway, I just wanted to say
sorry again
691
00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:29,486
for not seeing you
at "Night Nurse."
692
00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:33,114
And also for forgetting
that you're... Lance's friend?
693
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,658
[chuckles]
That's okay.
694
00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,534
I'm just glad
that you two are talking again.
695
00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,411
He was so upset.
696
00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:40,622
He talks to you about me?
697
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,540
Yeah.
I mean, we're pretty close.
698
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,793
And we're both in the business
of helping people,
699
00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:47,796
so we just kind of get
each other, you know?
700
00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,130
Uh-huh.
701
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:50,382
Sorry, I'm being rude.
702
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,842
This is my friend Julia.
703
00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:55,095
Uh, Julia, tell Brooke
what you learned
704
00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,805
senior year, spring break
of college.
705
00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,390
That Emile Hirsch's dick
is wonk?
706
00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,975
[harp plays]
707
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,435
Okay, wow.
You are even hotter.
708
00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:04,229
Julia also knows Lance
from the hospital.
709
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,064
Oh, Lance is
such a great guy.
710
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:07,148
He's so good.
711
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,276
Okay, no. No.
712
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,653
No, I can't do
any more of this.
713
00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,830
- Hey.
- Hey.
714
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,002
You went out for Courtney,
didn't you?
715
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,086
Oh.
716
00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,713
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
717
00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:32,132
- Okay. Oh, my God.
- But it's really--it's fine.
718
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,758
I'm--I'm happy for you.
719
00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,760
- Okay.
- I swear.
720
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,346
All right, well, if it
makes you feel any better,
721
00:26:38,346 --> 00:26:42,142
I probably only got the role
'cause of my femme privilege.
722
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,643
I'm sorry, what?
723
00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:46,187
Cary, the role
used to be a woman.
724
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:47,939
They changed not a single line.
725
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:50,483
Who do you think's getting
that part, you or me?
726
00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,319
I mean, is it homophobic
to say you?
727
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,903
No. And yes.
728
00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:55,030
But the answer is me.
729
00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,531
Well, you're being very nice,
730
00:26:56,531 --> 00:26:58,700
but I'm sure
you were just better.
731
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,036
- Yeah, that too. That too.
- [laughs]
732
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:04,456
But they were clearly looking
for an actor that screamed gay,
733
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,791
which is deeply problematic
for the world
734
00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:10,712
but great for me because now
I'm Courtney No Last Name.
735
00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:12,630
Well,
to Courtney No Last Name.
736
00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,174
All right,
let's get some drinks.
737
00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:15,717
Let's have fun.
We're at Ellen's house.
738
00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,052
[laughs]
739
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,636
So his name is Courtney,
740
00:27:18,636 --> 00:27:20,263
and it's a pilot
for Paramount+.
741
00:27:20,263 --> 00:27:22,557
- Wow. That's so cool, Curtis.
- Thank you, ChaseDreams.
742
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:24,768
Yeah, I'll have to, like,
check it out when it comes out.
743
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,269
- I mean, wow.
- I know.
744
00:27:26,269 --> 00:27:27,979
We had a bunch of clients
go in for that.
745
00:27:27,979 --> 00:27:29,898
- Congrats, man.
- Thank you.
746
00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,566
- Oh, my God, you've heard.
- Oh!
747
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:32,734
- Cheers.
- Cheers, man.
748
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:33,902
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
749
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,945
Bottoms up, my dudes! Whoo!
750
00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:39,449
So it's Ashley Tisdale
and it's on Paramount+,
751
00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:41,034
and that's all I know.
752
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:43,787
- And that's all I need to know.
- That's amazing.
753
00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:47,123
It's fucking hard to get cast
in anything these days.
754
00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,209
You should be so, so proud.
755
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,960
- Yeah, you should be.
- Oh, thanks, Car.
756
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,338
Thank God
for that femme privilege.
757
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,839
- [scoffs]
- Yeah, we were both up
758
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,300
for the role,
but, uh, Curtis got it.
759
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:58,843
Definitely 'cause
he was way better.
760
00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:00,762
But then Curtis was also saying
761
00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:02,389
that, like, maybe he got it
762
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,932
because he was
more obviously gay,
763
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:08,311
and networks kind of
want that now, so...
764
00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:10,355
Yeah, lucky me.
[phone buzzing]
765
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,440
- I'm more femme.
- Ugh.
766
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,692
- If you can tell.
- My agent calling.
767
00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:17,821
Probably to tell me
I did not get Courtney.
768
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:20,240
Fun! That's gonna be fun.
769
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,494
Where is she?
770
00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:26,371
Oh! Shuli?
771
00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,415
Um, Shuli? Shuli, hi.
772
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,750
I've been thinking, and I--
773
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,211
wait, what is going on here?
774
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,964
Your mother snuck away
from her detail, again.
775
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,633
Go ahead, Pat.
Tell her what you did to us.
776
00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:41,261
I drugged them with tea.
777
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:43,721
And because of that,
now what happened?
778
00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:46,141
I have a general
with JoJo Siwa.
779
00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,809
Okay.
780
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,979
Well, I guess it's good
that you're all here,
781
00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:55,150
because I love you
and Chase very much,
782
00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:58,820
but I have decided
to leave the industry.
783
00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,113
What?
784
00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,698
Streeter will still
represent you,
785
00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:04,784
but I want to leave.
786
00:29:04,784 --> 00:29:06,494
I mean, I don't want to--
787
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:09,539
I actually want to stay,
but I just--
788
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,624
I--I can't.
789
00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:12,667
I have to go.
790
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:14,669
I mean, I--
791
00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:16,045
I need to go.
792
00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:17,255
Oh, honey.
793
00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,840
I didn't know
you felt this way.
794
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,092
Yeah, yeah,
but whatever makes you happy.
795
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:22,969
- Thanks, bud.
- Okay, ma'am.
796
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:24,637
- Your car is ready.
- Ugh.
797
00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:26,347
All right, we're bringing her
out right now.
798
00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:30,185
I really don't want
to have lunch with JoJo Siwa.
799
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,145
I know. I'm sorry, Mom.
800
00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,688
Oh, wait. Sorry, Shuli.
801
00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,523
Before I quit,
do you think you can tell me
802
00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,108
what's going on with DaBaby?
803
00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:39,569
Just fucking go, Brooke.
804
00:29:39,569 --> 00:29:40,862
Uh, what?
805
00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,322
This may be a joke to you,
806
00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:44,949
but this is my job,
and I care about it.
807
00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:48,828
And frankly, I've spent
a lot of time helping you.
808
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:52,749
So this quitting,
not quitting shit isn't funny.
809
00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:56,085
If you're out, be out.
810
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:03,927
- Oh, my God!
- [screams]
811
00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,428
Hi, Doug.
812
00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:07,555
Yes, it is the most
wonderful time of the year.
813
00:30:07,555 --> 00:30:08,932
- Curtis, Curtis!
- Yeah?
814
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:11,351
Guess what.
I just got a role too.
815
00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,019
Wha--whoa, whoa.
816
00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:14,646
- Congratulations.
- Yeah. Yeah.
817
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,481
It's a three-episode arc
on that show,
818
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,316
uh, "Emily Overruled."
819
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,109
Okay. CBS.
820
00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:22,153
- That's prime time, baby.
- I know.
821
00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:23,947
And I didn't even
have to audition,
822
00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:26,866
'cause I guess I'm, like,
somewhat of a name now?
823
00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,409
But isn't that great?
824
00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:31,246
- We both booked roles!
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
825
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,915
And, um, Lucas just sang
the entirety of "Jingle Bells"
826
00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:36,417
at me, so I'm assuming
he booked one too.
827
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,710
Yes. Ugh.
828
00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:39,212
But he is not
playing a virgin anymore,
829
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:41,464
so now I can take him home
and celebrate,
830
00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:43,424
if you know what I mean,
but gotta run.
831
00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:45,260
- Such a fun night.
- Okay.
832
00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:46,427
- Okay, bye, Cary.
- Bye.
833
00:30:46,427 --> 00:30:47,762
- Cary?
- Bye, bye, bye.
834
00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:48,972
Oh, hey. There you are.
835
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:51,182
I was just gonna--oof!
836
00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,815
Oh, God.
837
00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:01,985
I'm so glad you're playing
not a virgin now.
838
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,736
You know what?
839
00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:05,738
Let's not kiss.
840
00:31:05,738 --> 00:31:08,157
Okay.
What do you want to do?
841
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:09,993
I was thinking
something, uh--
842
00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,120
something like this.
843
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,122
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no!
844
00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:16,082
You know we're in my hometown
for Christmas.
845
00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:17,417
What?
846
00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:19,377
My parents are asleep
in the next room!
847
00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:20,712
Oh, my God.
848
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,881
Um, well, we'll just have
to keep it down
849
00:31:23,881 --> 00:31:26,342
for them, then.
850
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:28,094
No, it's not safe.
851
00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,722
I still haven't even
told them I'm gay!
852
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,640
What's this now?
853
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,642
I promise I'm gonna
tell them soon, babe.
854
00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:37,478
Just... not on Christmas.
855
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:41,107
Sorry, so we for real
can't have sex again?
856
00:31:41,107 --> 00:31:43,318
'Cause my--my hole is out.
857
00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:45,403
I should probably sleep
on the couch.
858
00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:47,071
Night, babe.
859
00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:49,115
And babe?
860
00:31:49,115 --> 00:31:50,533
Merry Christmas.
861
00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:52,327
[door closes]
862
00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:54,704
This is fine.
863
00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:56,664
It's his process.
864
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:59,834
["Carol of the Bells"
remix playing]
865
00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:07,008
♪ ♪