1 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,506 [eerie music] 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,633 [owl hoots] 3 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:14,264 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,599 Hey, you okay? Need a ride? 5 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,017 Oh, okay. 6 00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:24,315 ♪ ♪ 7 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,942 [laughter] 8 00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,861 And I don't have work today 9 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,113 since I quit my meaningless job, 10 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,990 so let's go ahead and make those bottomless. 11 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:33,450 - The nachos? - Yeah. 12 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,743 This is so cool. 13 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,244 I've never even been on a double date, 14 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,871 and now I'm on a triple? 15 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,873 Actually, we're not really feeling this, right? 16 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,041 - Yeah. Gave it a shot. - Okay, bye. 17 00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:43,460 Oh, we're watching "Survivor" next week, 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,794 if you want to come. 19 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,171 Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom. 20 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,338 Order me pancakes? 21 00:00:47,338 --> 00:00:49,048 [chuckles] Sure. 22 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,968 So isn't he great? 23 00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:53,970 We're sort of a couple now. 24 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,890 And how are you a couple? 25 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,309 Okay, yes, I know it's not ideal 26 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,478 since he's in character as an 18-year-old virgin, 27 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,563 so we haven't been able to have sex yet. 28 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,900 But his show wraps today, so then we will get to have sex 29 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,651 and, technically, meet. 30 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,236 And it's cool dating an actor. 31 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,322 We just, like, get each other, you know? 32 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,615 Totally. And same. 33 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,158 Lance and I are so well-matched 34 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:16,951 now that we've both left the industry. 35 00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,661 We were always well-matched, B. 36 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,206 Yeah, and he pushes me, too, in my career. 37 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,832 Like, this morning I shot a self-tape 38 00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,250 for this big period drama. 39 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,252 And then tonight, I have a director's session 40 00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,171 - with Wes Anderson on Zoom. - What? 41 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,048 And then another Zoom audition after that. 42 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,842 So we're sort of, like, a Hollywood power couple. 43 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:33,843 Oh. 44 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,721 Hey, I missed you. 45 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,681 Like, a lot. 46 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:40,517 Aw. 47 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,352 [lips smacking] 48 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:43,520 Ugh. 49 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,564 [suspenseful music] 50 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:50,527 ♪ ♪ 51 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,903 [laughter] 52 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,822 Wait, so, Curtis, how's "The Gay Minute"? 53 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:56,491 I still watch every day. You got mad charisma, bro. 54 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:57,659 You should be on TV. 55 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:58,993 - Thank you. - Yeah, really. 56 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,578 You're, like, better than I was. 57 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,539 All right, shut up. That's nice. I'm trying. 58 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,873 I just don't have reps right now, 59 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,416 so I have to troll Actor's Access 60 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,252 for auditions, which is humil-- 61 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:13,174 ♪ ♪ 62 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,384 Wait, Mom? 63 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,053 Yes! Hi, honey. Can I eat this? 64 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,097 Wait, where is your security detail? 65 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,891 Oh, I don't need all that for a simple brunch with my kids. 66 00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,643 They'd have to get clearances, sweep the place. 67 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,936 I didn't want to bother them. 68 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,604 So they don't know you're here? 69 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,606 No. I escaped in the night, Cary. 70 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,191 That's fully insane. 71 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,901 Yeah, and I didn't realize how long it would take 72 00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:33,194 to walk to Manhattan, 73 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,572 but it's worth it to be with my kids. 74 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,199 Wait. Oh, my God, Pat Dubek? 75 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:40,076 - [excited chatter] - Oh, my God. No. Sorry. 76 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,244 Sorry, we're just trying to have 77 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,538 a nice, normal family brunch. 78 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:44,622 My God! 79 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,915 Oh, there she is. 80 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:48,376 Move away. Step back, please. Ma'am. 81 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,502 Ma'am, you cannot sneak out on us. 82 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,754 {\an8}What? I didn't! 83 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:53,298 {\an8}Ah, dang it. 84 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,341 {\an8}[laughing] Oh, my God. 85 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,051 {\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪ 86 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:58,928 I'm sorry for sneaking out, Frank. 87 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:01,014 It won't happen again, I promise. 88 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,099 It's all good, ma'am. Thank you. 89 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,809 Anyway, how have you been? 90 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,394 {\an8}How's your mom's cancer? 91 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,897 {\an8}Not good. Stage four. 92 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,440 {\an8}She's in hospice out on Long Island. 93 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,234 {\an8}- Oh, no, I'm so sorry to hear that. 94 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,945 {\an8}- Is she still on Long Island? - What? 95 00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:17,447 Well, yeah, I just said that she's-- 96 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,990 That's nice, though. 97 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,576 And you grew up on Long Island, right, Frank? 98 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,953 What is your favorite, longest story 99 00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:27,165 about growing up on Long Island? 100 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,125 Oh, wow. 101 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,794 [laughs] That's so funny, Frank. 102 00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,296 [sighs] Pat's on the move. 103 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,923 Frank! [laughter] 104 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,300 Okay, so I guess we can take DaBaby off the list. 105 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,218 [laughter] Don't want to deal with that! 106 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:40,595 - [laughter] - No way! 107 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:44,515 [laughing awkwardly] 108 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,851 Deal with what? Uh, what did he do? 109 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,562 Oh, just some, uh, industry gossip. 110 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,105 But you're no longer in the industry, 111 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,399 so doesn't feel right telling you. 112 00:03:53,399 --> 00:03:55,109 Oh, that's totally fine. 113 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:57,820 Um, and actually, it's why I'm here-- 114 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,238 to say my goodbyes. 115 00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:01,824 As you may have heard, I have left the industry 116 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:02,992 to start doing good. 117 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,327 [chuckles] Well, not today. 118 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,705 Today is Friday. But Monday, I do good. 119 00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:11,167 And honestly, I feel sad for all of you still here, 120 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:15,838 just piddling away at this pointless job. 121 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:19,133 So I have a challenge: join me. 122 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:23,471 Leave this behind and choose a life of meaning, of goodness, 123 00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:28,101 a life where we can make a difference together! 124 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:31,104 So who's with me? 125 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,193 You know what? I am. 126 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,528 Shuli? 127 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,029 I quit. 128 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,908 Okay, is that it? Is it just Trish? 129 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,576 You know what, it's probably not worth it 130 00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:46,869 if it's just us two. 131 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,122 So, Trish, you can-- you can stay. 132 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,456 Well, I don't want her now. 133 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,041 She just quit. 134 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,584 Trish, you're fired. 135 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,294 Oh, Trish. 136 00:04:57,088 --> 00:05:01,384 Well, my work here is done, so I am off to help the world. 137 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:04,887 Minus, uh, Trish, whose life I did just ruin. 138 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:07,473 So goodbye, all, and not to be rude, 139 00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:09,267 but there is not one single thing 140 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,644 I'm gonna miss about the industry. 141 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,440 Okay, next order of business, tonight's big, huge party! 142 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,733 - Ooh, a party. - A party? 143 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,234 Yay, a party! [excited chatter] 144 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,153 - Damn it. - Be not afraid. 145 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,238 As long as there is air in my lungs, 146 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,741 I will tell your story. 147 00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,659 You shan't have died in vain. 148 00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,578 Wow, this is incredible! 149 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,912 Oh, I'm sorry, Cary. 150 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:30,997 I'm not in the office this week. 151 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:31,998 Can you hear me okay? 152 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,374 Yep, and that's great. 153 00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,209 - I'm so glad you liked it. - Loved it. 154 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:37,754 I really believed you were a 16th-century knight. 155 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:41,591 Unfortunately, I can't send this to the producers. 156 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:44,093 Uh, but that's-- that's who I did it for. 157 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,595 It's just, I know for a fact 158 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,305 they picture this role with long hair. 159 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:50,058 Oh, well, I just-- I just assumed I would 160 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,642 grow my hair out if I got the part. 161 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:54,687 And I'm with you, Cary, but these people are dumb. 162 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,607 If they don't see long hair, they can't picture it. 163 00:05:57,607 --> 00:06:00,276 So if it's between you and someone with long hair, 164 00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,695 nine times out of ten, they're going with long hair. 165 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:04,280 Luckily, with self-tapes, 166 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,324 it's easy to keep making adjustments. 167 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,786 So I say just go out, buy a wig, style the wig, 168 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,162 apply the wig, redo the tape, 169 00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,372 and then I think we should be good. 170 00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,541 Okay. Uh, sure. 171 00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:16,793 Yes. 172 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,795 That sounds, uh, very easy. 173 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:22,215 Okay, so tonight's party is in the Hamptons. 174 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,051 Ellen is throwing herself a big birthday bash 175 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,887 and has agreed not to go so people can enjoy it. 176 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,847 - all: Aww. - That's nice of her. 177 00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,016 Literally everyone is invited, 178 00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,810 as long as they're in the industry. 179 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,144 [sighs] 180 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,146 And we can't put this off any longer, 181 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:38,981 so Chase will be using this party 182 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:41,025 to debut his shitty little rat look. 183 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,193 - [all groan] - What? 184 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,903 I know, but now that he's 18, 185 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:47,073 he legally has to look like a gross, shitty little rat 186 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,659 for at least one event, and I need someone to go with-- 187 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:53,663 You know, I could be back in the industry just for tonight, 188 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,081 if you need someone to take him. 189 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,041 But then tomorrow, I am back out. 190 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,167 Well, that's okay. 191 00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:00,044 I'm having Streeter go. 192 00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,337 Wait, what? 193 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:03,131 I get to go to the parties now? 194 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,799 Whoo-hoo! 195 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:07,009 In your face, Brooke! [laughs] 196 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,594 Okay, that's totally fine. 197 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:10,138 I'll just stay out, then. 198 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,722 [chuckles] Like I wanted. 199 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,016 Just, you know, trying to help. 200 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,476 Oh, those are for employees. 201 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:16,811 If you want a La Croix, 202 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,063 you'll need to buy one at the store. 203 00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:21,566 - The store? - Be not afraid. 204 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,693 As long as there is air in my lungs, 205 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,820 I will tell your story. 206 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,405 You shan't have died in vain. 207 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,533 Cary, yes! This performance is incredible. 208 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,076 It's even better than your last performance. 209 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,953 Okay, great! So we can send that one off-- 210 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:37,707 But I'm worried the hair is now too long. 211 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,711 Also, I'm just noticing all this green behind you. 212 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,212 The green screen? 213 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,881 Well, I know it's a green screen, Cary. 214 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,091 But these people, they're gonna think 215 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,968 you're on some kind of slime planet. 216 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,429 And I know for a fact they don't want slime pla-- 217 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,972 Be not afraid. 218 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,308 As long as there is air in my lungs, 219 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,893 I will tell your story. 220 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,644 You shan't have died in vain. 221 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,521 Oh, there you are! Hi, Cary. 222 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,565 Mom, what are you doing here? 223 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,400 Oh, well, I just thought I'd come hang with you 224 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,943 at your apartment, no biggie. 225 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,778 Did you sneak away from your security detail again? 226 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:09,030 - Oh, Pat Dubek! - Pat Dubek? 227 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,406 Pat Dubek, over here! 228 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,325 Oh, can you just let me in real quick? 229 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,243 Ma'am, you have to stop running away from us. 230 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,661 - Oh, dang it! - It's okay-- 231 00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,705 Okay. The hair is now great, Cary. 232 00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:20,082 But obviously, I can't send this one in. 233 00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,542 Yeah, sorry, I forgot to edit out 234 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,002 the part where my mom showed up. 235 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,087 No, she's fun. They'll love that. 236 00:08:25,087 --> 00:08:27,340 - The problem is the background. - The what? 237 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,258 You're supposed to be in the 1500s. 238 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,928 These people are gonna see a fridge and lose their minds. 239 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:33,471 So does your apartment have 240 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,348 any Gothic arches you could feature? 241 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,184 Sorry, does my apartment have Gothic arches? 242 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,727 Also, your shirt, Cary? 243 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:42,563 Knights tended to wear more armor. 244 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:45,107 [rap music] 245 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,943 both: ChaseDreams! [camera shutter clicks] 246 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,694 [laughter] 247 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:54,242 [sighs] 248 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,952 Hey guys, welcome. 249 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,620 Don't worry. She's not here. 250 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,248 [whispering] Please, please, please! 251 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,043 You got this. 252 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,255 We're together. 253 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,048 And the same age. 254 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,222 Hi, can I get a, um-- 255 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,390 okay. 256 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,683 Yes, I can keep holding. 257 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,227 How was my weekend? Fine! 258 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,853 It was fine. I had a fine weekend. 259 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,938 Look at that loser. 260 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,898 Been there, but not today. 261 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,483 Today I get to actually enjoy the party 262 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:30,528 and not spend the whole time working. 263 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,488 Okay, rude. 264 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:37,201 But makes sense. All industry people are. 265 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,162 Ooh! 266 00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,706 Hello? 267 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,916 God, fucking agents. 268 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,002 It's just, what if Ellen shows up? 269 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,838 Oh. Don't worry, she's in LA. 270 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,589 Don't worry, she's in LA. 271 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,466 Okay, I just said that. 272 00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:55,011 Oh, come on, I know I'm not in the industry anymore, 273 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,680 but it's not like you can't see me. 274 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,852 Or--wait, can-- 275 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,730 can people literally not see me? 276 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,315 Just a reminder, 277 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,693 the museum will be closing in one hour. 278 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,195 As you can see, this museum houses 279 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,865 the largest collection of 16th-century armor 280 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,075 anywhere in the city. 281 00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:21,245 Armor was customarily worn by knights. 282 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,373 These proud warriors were given the title of knighthood 283 00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:25,833 at a beautiful altar, 284 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:28,210 like the one you see before you. 285 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:30,421 Here, they'd swear the knightly code 286 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,964 to protect the weak 287 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:35,009 and defend the honor of the entire monarchy. 288 00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:39,013 Take a second to really look at this altar. 289 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:42,058 Isn't it quite an altar? 290 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,352 Now, as a needless digression-- 291 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,395 a folly, really-- turn around 292 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:50,733 and look at the doorway you just walked into. 293 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,027 Walk up to the knight on the right. 294 00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,571 Not the one on the left. Look at the one on the ri-- 295 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,949 [breathing heavily] [whispering] Oh, God. 296 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,534 Are they coming back? No, no, no. 297 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,536 Really get close to the helmet. 298 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:04,705 If you get close enough, you may see 299 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,832 your breath fog up the steel. 300 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:10,127 [breathing heavily] 301 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,671 - [phone buzzing] - Call from Mackenzie. 302 00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:15,007 Do you want to answer? 303 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,467 [whispering] Yes. 304 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,220 Cary, this last take was flawless. 305 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:21,847 Where did you find that suit of armor? 306 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,474 My closet. 307 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,935 Well, this should absolutely get you the part. 308 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,604 Unfortunately, they went with Dylan O'Brien. 309 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,356 What? Fucking O'Brien. 310 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,233 Yeah, they decided they wanted a name. 311 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,943 So annoying when they do that. 312 00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,278 But at least you didn't need to leave your apartment. 313 00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,197 Self-tapes really are so much easier. 314 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,698 - Mm-hmm. - Anyway, don't forget 315 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,450 you're Zooming with Wes Anderson in 45. 316 00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:42,993 Right! Shit. Shit. [couple screams] 317 00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:44,829 Shit, shit, shit, shit! 318 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,459 I'm truly sorry for sneaking out again. 319 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,919 Here, I made you some tea. 320 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,462 Thank you, ma'am. That's very nice. 321 00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:55,089 And we know you wanted to go to Ellen's tonight, 322 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,590 especially since she's not gonna be there. 323 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:58,134 But we assessed some high-level threats 324 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,343 and think it's safest not to go. 325 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,803 Oh, I totally understand. 326 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,471 I'm happy to hang here. 327 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:05,599 Anyway, enjoy your tea, guys. 328 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,478 [vacuum whirring] 329 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,647 [whispering] Three, two, one. 330 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,191 [thumping] 331 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,944 Yes! 332 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,989 Okay, okay, okay. 333 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,490 Pat's on the move! 334 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,868 [rap music] 335 00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,578 God, I know. 336 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,371 He is such an asshole. 337 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:29,373 Who? Who's an asshole? 338 00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:32,293 Macey, good to see you. 339 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,586 Hey, guess what. 340 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,004 A bunch of people are about to take out 341 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,172 one of Ellen's speedboats. 342 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,506 Anyone want to go? all: Sure. 343 00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,175 - Yes, I do! - Okay. 344 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:44,263 One, two, three, four, five. 345 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,307 Yes! We should all fit. Come on. 346 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,184 [excited chatter] 347 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,602 [scoffs] What? 348 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,937 That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. 349 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,647 I can't believe DaBaby did that. 350 00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,649 He'd better hope that doesn't come out. 351 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:56,901 Hope what doesn't come out? 352 00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,529 What did DaBaby do? 353 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:04,700 Hello? Hello! 354 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,036 Wait, I think I hear something. 355 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,662 Nope, never mind. 356 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,873 How spooky. 357 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,083 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck 358 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:18,047 Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 359 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,423 - Cary? - Hey, hi. 360 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:21,467 - Uh, so sorry I'm late. - Oh, hey! 361 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,053 No, that is 100% fine. This is low-key. 362 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:25,721 Wes just wants to chat with a few people 363 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,932 - he's circling for the role. - Awesome. 364 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,643 I have never been circled for anything, 365 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,186 - so this is really cool. - Great. 366 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,938 Well, why don't you just hang here 367 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,648 in the waiting room until Wes is ready. 368 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,358 Oh, and when Wes comes on, make sure you are 369 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,693 perfectly centered in the frame, okay? 370 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,487 - Okay. - Thanks. 371 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,030 [dings] 372 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:50,412 [dings] 373 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,248 Yo, am I on? Can you hear me? 374 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,166 [groans] 375 00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,793 Yeah--uh, I can hear you. 376 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,170 Uh, Dylan O'Brien? 377 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,214 - Sup? Nice to meet you, man. - You too. 378 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,966 You auditioning for Ambassador to Belgium too? 379 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,261 Yes. It's a small part, so I thought I had a shot. 380 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,096 But I guess I do not. 381 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,890 I can't even fucking believe I still gotta audition. 382 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,642 I'm the fucking Maze Runner, bro. 383 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,727 Yes, I--yeah. Big fan. 384 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:15,646 Um, but I think I'm actually gonna go. 385 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,106 Hey, you reek. 386 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,941 [laughs] 387 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,609 - Sorry, I reek. - Okay, um-- 388 00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:22,027 You know how long this is gonna be? 389 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,612 - I--I-- - I think I'm gonna take 390 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:25,948 a little shower, 'cause I don't smell great. 391 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,409 And Daddy don't do good on a stinky audish. 392 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,952 - You know what I'm saying? - Yes. 393 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,579 Just gonna leave this right here. 394 00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,122 You mind letting me know if they come in? 395 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,540 I'm just gonna turn my camera off. 396 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,250 Uh, okay. Sure, yeah. 397 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:39,378 Okay, camera off. 398 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,799 [gasps] 399 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,968 Uh... [shower running] 400 00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,303 Whoo! 401 00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,637 [laughs] That's crazy. 402 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,140 It's true. Like, it is true. 403 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,101 [sighs] 404 00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,399 Wait. Can--can you see me? 405 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,609 Of course. 406 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,818 Hey, I'm Doug. 407 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,819 Oh, hi. 408 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,363 No one can see me either. 409 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,532 My cousin who brought me, he works at WME. 410 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:11,285 But I'm just an immigration lawyer. 411 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,996 So the only people who can see me are-- 412 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,539 Oh, this is Betsy. 413 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,833 Her husband's a producer for Drew Barrymore, 414 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,376 and she's a social worker. 415 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:20,836 For teens. 416 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:25,341 Do either of you know what happened 417 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:26,925 with DaBaby? 418 00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:28,552 Who's DaBaby? 419 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,304 - [sniffles] - Oh Natalie, over here. 420 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,847 Brooke, you got to meet Natalie. 421 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,099 She's a translator who speaks five languages. 422 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,476 Okay, yes! 423 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,102 Someone hot! 424 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,729 I mean, hi. 425 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:41,315 God, it is so fucked up that people can't see any of us 426 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,859 because we're "not in the industry." 427 00:15:43,859 --> 00:15:45,235 Anyway, I'm Brooke. 428 00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,695 Yeah, no, we've met before. 429 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:48,405 I was at the "Night Nurse" premiere. 430 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,658 We actually sat really close to each other. 431 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,994 Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. 432 00:15:53,994 --> 00:15:55,287 Hi, everyone. 433 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,790 My fiancé is about to sit down. 434 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,209 Oof. So right on you? 435 00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,169 That's okay, you were in a different place then. 436 00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,879 But now that you've left the industry behind, 437 00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:05,422 - I'm sure you can probably see-- - Bathroom this way. 438 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:08,384 How it makes people a little cra--oh. 439 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,135 [shower running] 440 00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:13,263 Pitty, pitty, pitty, balls. 441 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,307 Truly, thank you for this. 442 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,559 You would think seeing him naked would be a letdown, 443 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,353 but it is better. 444 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:22,773 And remember, when he gets out, you have to log off fast, okay? 445 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,108 - Promise. - Yes. No, no, no. 446 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,609 He won't even know I was here. 447 00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,569 [camera shutter clicking] 448 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,405 Hey, you have to mute! 449 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:32,408 If you're gonna screenshot, you have to mute! 450 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,786 He's coming! He's coming! Go! Log off, log off, log off! 451 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:37,246 Oh, my God, I can't find the button. 452 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,123 - I can't find the button! - Just hit the X! 453 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:40,749 - Go, go, go, go, go! - I can't find the button! 454 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,918 [chimes] 455 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,420 Camera on. 456 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,296 Yo, what's up? Did I miss anything? 457 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:49,258 No, no. Just sitting here waiting. 458 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,301 Um, so you could actually pop back in that shower, 459 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,553 - if you wanted-- - Hey, guys. 460 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,971 Thank you so much for waiting. 461 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,431 But unfortunately, Wes has decided 462 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,890 to go with George Clooney. 463 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:58,392 It's nothing against the two of you. 464 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,935 - He just wanted a huge name. - Yeah. 465 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,646 So annoying, right? Okay. Take care. 466 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,107 - Bye. - Wow. Fucking Clooney. 467 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,984 - [sighs] Stupid. - Every time. 468 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,485 Well, good luck with everything, man. 469 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:09,820 I'm gonna take a long, hard piss. 470 00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,614 - All right. - Camera off. 471 00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:15,075 [pee sloshing] 472 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,035 Nakey pee-pee. 473 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,082 [sighs] 474 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:25,085 [shower running] 475 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:28,255 [ominous music] 476 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,465 ♪ ♪ 477 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,134 What the-- 478 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,303 hello? 479 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,721 Is someone there? 480 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:41,977 ♪ ♪ 481 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,645 Oh, shit. 482 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:45,147 Help! 483 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:46,523 I need help in here! 484 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,358 - He's in here! - Help! 485 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:49,860 - What's up? What's wrong? - What's going on? 486 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,111 - Are you okay? - Why is the shower on? 487 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:52,279 The mirror. 488 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,364 Someone's writing something 489 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,783 on the mirror. 490 00:17:55,783 --> 00:18:00,662 ♪ ♪ 491 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,414 Oh, my God. Okay. 492 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,500 No one freak out, but I think 493 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:07,002 Brooke Dubek is in this bathroom. 494 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:08,837 - What? Right now? - How freaky. 495 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:11,048 Yeah, she recently left the industry 496 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:13,425 but hasn't fully crossed over yet. 497 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,427 'Cause being out sucks, Shuli! 498 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,971 No cool people can see or hear me? 499 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:20,849 Brooke, if you're trying to contact us, 500 00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,310 we cannot see or hear you! 501 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,520 [screams] 502 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,521 Okay, you know what? Here. 503 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,647 Anyone have any wine? 504 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:27,731 It's just, I used to be 505 00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,650 a 35-year-old in the industry. 506 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,195 But now I'm just a 35-year-old person? 507 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,696 That's fucking nothing! 508 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,031 Where is she? 509 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,116 So you know what? No. Fuck it. 510 00:18:38,116 --> 00:18:39,493 I'm back in the industry. 511 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,037 Ah! Oh, Jesus. 512 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,289 Oh. [gasps] 513 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,084 [all screaming] 514 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,628 Hello, Brooke. 515 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,213 - [chimes] - Uh, hi. Cary? 516 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,465 Hey. Hi, sorry I'm late. 517 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,551 Uh, my last Zoom ran hard--long. 518 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,053 - Uh, it ran long. Um-- - Uh, no worries. 519 00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,013 And quick Q before we start. 520 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:03,475 You guys, uh--you don't want a name for this one, do you? 521 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:04,893 No, not at all. 522 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,229 This is a sitcom pilot for Paramount+, 523 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,730 so we're seeing tons of no-names. 524 00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:11,316 Great, great. And uh, one more thing. 525 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,110 All the sides I got 526 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,904 were for a female character named Courtney. 527 00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:18,657 Uh, yes, this role was a woman till yesterday, 528 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,242 but now she's a gay man. 529 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,451 Oh, okay. 530 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:22,995 Well, I didn't get any new pages. 531 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,246 Oh, there are none. 532 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,248 But uh, it still works. 533 00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,877 Oh. Um, okay. 534 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,753 I guess let's--let's do it. 535 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,297 Great. [clears throat] 536 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:35,382 "Tegan and her BFF Courtney, 537 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:39,261 29, hot even with no makeup, get manicures." 538 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,972 Okay, girl. Dish. Hot date tonight? 539 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,557 Ha! Girl, I wish. 540 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:46,059 Ever since my promotion, I haven't even had the energy 541 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:47,519 to flirt with a guy. 542 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,938 I guess us girls can't have it all. 543 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:53,317 [laughs] Courtney, stop PMSing. 544 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,152 - You'll find Mr. Right. - When? 545 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,487 It's not like I'm gonna find anyone at work, 546 00:19:57,487 --> 00:20:00,866 except Rick, who spends all day staring at my ass. 547 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,910 God, men are such pigs. 548 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:03,994 You need a spa day. 549 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,580 No, girl. I need a spa year! 550 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,666 Uh, yes! Wow, that was perfect. 551 00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,835 - That was so funny, Cary. - Thank you, thank you. 552 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:15,130 We should actually have a decision for you soon, 553 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,965 - maybe the next few hours. - Whoa! 554 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,717 Uh, great. Well, thank you so much. 555 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,302 I just gotta run to a party, but yeah-- 556 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,471 No, thank you. We're such fans. 557 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,389 - Oh, thank you! - Bye. 558 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:25,641 Bye. 559 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,602 [exhales] 560 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,732 [upbeat music] 561 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:35,692 ♪ ♪ 562 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:39,780 Thank you so much. [chuckles] 563 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,782 Good to see you. 564 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,869 [sighs] 565 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,454 So who's an asshole? 566 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:50,165 Oh, Channing Tatum's old makeup artist. 567 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,917 - Yes! Fuck him or her. - Mm. 568 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,670 God, this is so much better than talking to some girl 569 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,005 who speaks five languages. 570 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:59,841 Oh, you were talking to Natalie. 571 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:00,968 She's my little sister. 572 00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,761 Oh, of course you know Natalie, 573 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,846 'cause of Lance. 574 00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:08,558 I--sorry, that Natalie girl knows Lance? 575 00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:09,851 Well, yeah, I mean, she translates 576 00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,353 for a lot of his patients, 577 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,854 so they always hang at the hospital. 578 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:14,272 They have this whole banter in Spanish. 579 00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:15,649 It's annoying. 580 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,234 I never know what they're talking about. 581 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,652 But you knew that, right? 582 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,029 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I did. 583 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,991 Sorry, I want to go say hi to her some more. 584 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,200 Good luck. 585 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,160 I never can find her at these things. 586 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,370 Right. 587 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:31,456 'Cause she is now invisible to me. 588 00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:32,833 Thank you. 589 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,547 Cary? Oh, thank God it's you. 590 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,757 It's not Ellen. We're fine. [all sigh] 591 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,551 - Hey. - Hey! 592 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,428 - I have the craziest news. - What? 593 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,471 I just booked a roll off of Actor's Access. 594 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,598 What? Curtis, that's incredible. 595 00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,392 Yeah. It's for this Paramount+ pilot. 596 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,102 I mean, it's kind of fucked up because the role used to be 597 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,687 a woman, and they just changed it to a gay guy, 598 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,188 but whatever. 599 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,315 The script's funny, they love me, and I got it. 600 00:21:57,315 --> 00:21:58,734 [laughs] 601 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:01,570 Wow, that's-- that's incredible. 602 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:04,239 I--really, that's so amazing. 603 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,657 Um, I'm just gonna-- 604 00:22:05,657 --> 00:22:08,702 I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick. 605 00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:13,874 Fuck, fucking fuck, fuck. 606 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,546 Hey, babe. 607 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,214 - Oh, hey. - How are you? 608 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:24,342 Um, you're, uh--you're not in character anymore. 609 00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,470 Hooray. Hi. 610 00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,472 Sorry, I am, uh-- 611 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,974 - I'm just having the worst day. - Oh, babe. 612 00:22:30,974 --> 00:22:32,851 First I got passed over for all these roles 613 00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:35,353 'cause they're looking for names, which sucks. 614 00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:37,147 But, like, I get it. They're above me. 615 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:42,110 But now I just got passed over for someone who is, uh-- 616 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,529 for Curtis, which is-- which is great, 617 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,240 but he's been hosting. 618 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,118 I'm the one who's been, like, acting. 619 00:22:50,118 --> 00:22:51,703 Oh, I'm sorry, babe. 620 00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,789 That's exactly how I felt when my grandma and I lost 621 00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,458 our town's annual Christmas decorating showdown last year. 622 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,918 And I'm sure he was good, 623 00:22:57,918 --> 00:23:00,003 but I thought I killed that audition. 624 00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:01,838 That's hard, which is why this year, 625 00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:05,342 my grandma and I are gonna use twice as many Christmas lights. 626 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:08,053 Wait, why do you keep talking about Christmas? 627 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:12,307 Oh, no, did you get cast in something else? 628 00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:15,310 Shit! 629 00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:17,270 You booked a gay Christmas movie already? 630 00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,439 And do we really need to be in character full-time for that-- 631 00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:22,984 Shh. Babe, you're stressed out. 632 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,319 Let me go get you some eggnog. 633 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:27,364 [upbeat dance music] 634 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,199 ♪ ♪ 635 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:30,826 Oh, wow. 636 00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:35,622 ♪ ♪ 637 00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:37,332 [squeals] 638 00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:38,792 Hello. 639 00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,836 Totally, totally, totally. That's really cool. 640 00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:43,380 - See you later. - So pretty. 641 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:45,632 - Gosh, this party's so nice. - Yeah. 642 00:23:45,632 --> 00:23:47,759 You know, my security team was worried about me 643 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,719 coming to this, but why would I need 644 00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,346 security at an industry party? 645 00:23:51,346 --> 00:23:53,723 There's no fans, no paparazzi. 646 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,016 Yeah, that is weird. 647 00:23:55,016 --> 00:23:56,935 Anyways, hi. I'm Zack Smith from CAA. 648 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,520 - I represent Priyanka Chopra. - Oh. 649 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,772 I'd love to set you two up for a general, 650 00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,691 maybe find a show for her on P! 651 00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,443 Pat! Tim Downey. I work with Laverne Cox. 652 00:24:05,443 --> 00:24:07,237 I think she'd be a fantastic fit for P! 653 00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:08,572 Let me tell you why. 654 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:09,781 Pat, you know who you gotta meet? 655 00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:11,491 He's hilarious. Frankie Grande. 656 00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,368 Pat, you know who you would love? 657 00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:14,911 Teresa Giudice's daughter. 658 00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:16,830 I really would love to get you down for a lunch. 659 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:18,415 - Coffee sometime? - Pushing 40, but-- 660 00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:20,041 - Teresa Giudice's daughter. - Frank? 661 00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:21,543 - Priyanka Chopra-- - Pat, you have to meet-- 662 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,211 Nathan? [all talking at once] 663 00:24:23,211 --> 00:24:25,714 Frank? Nathan? 664 00:24:25,714 --> 00:24:26,756 Frank? 665 00:24:26,756 --> 00:24:28,216 Nathan? 666 00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:30,093 Oh, my God! 667 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:31,636 She's a Jonas now! 668 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,848 Natalie? 669 00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:38,894 Hot Natalie? 670 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,188 Oh! There you are, Natalie. 671 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:42,814 Brooke, hey. 672 00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:44,608 We were just talking about the lack of proper education-- 673 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:46,359 Okay, I'm gonna assume that you are talking, 674 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:47,819 but I cannot see you, 675 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:50,572 because whatever you're saying is too boring. 676 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,908 So I need you to say something really cool 677 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:55,702 so it pushes its way through to my realm. 678 00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:59,581 Are you related to anyone famous? 679 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,250 No. 680 00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:03,668 Okay, I still can't see you, 681 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:05,754 so I'm gonna assume that's a no. 682 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,548 Have you ever worked in the industry? 683 00:25:08,548 --> 00:25:12,093 Uh, I was once an extra on "Smallville." 684 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:14,512 Yes! Yes, I see a hand. What else, Natalie? 685 00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:16,514 What else could make me see you as a person? 686 00:25:16,514 --> 00:25:18,600 I dated Topher Grace for three weeks. 687 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,353 [angelic choir sings] 688 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,687 Okay, what the hell? 689 00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:24,814 I didn't get that when I became visible. 690 00:25:24,814 --> 00:25:27,275 Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry again 691 00:25:27,275 --> 00:25:29,486 for not seeing you at "Night Nurse." 692 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:33,114 And also for forgetting that you're... Lance's friend? 693 00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:34,658 [chuckles] That's okay. 694 00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,534 I'm just glad that you two are talking again. 695 00:25:36,534 --> 00:25:38,411 He was so upset. 696 00:25:38,411 --> 00:25:40,622 He talks to you about me? 697 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,540 Yeah. I mean, we're pretty close. 698 00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:44,793 And we're both in the business of helping people, 699 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:47,796 so we just kind of get each other, you know? 700 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:49,130 Uh-huh. 701 00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:50,382 Sorry, I'm being rude. 702 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:52,842 This is my friend Julia. 703 00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:55,095 Uh, Julia, tell Brooke what you learned 704 00:25:55,095 --> 00:25:56,805 senior year, spring break of college. 705 00:25:56,805 --> 00:25:58,390 That Emile Hirsch's dick is wonk? 706 00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,975 [harp plays] 707 00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,435 Okay, wow. You are even hotter. 708 00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:04,229 Julia also knows Lance from the hospital. 709 00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,064 Oh, Lance is such a great guy. 710 00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:07,148 He's so good. 711 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,276 Okay, no. No. 712 00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,653 No, I can't do any more of this. 713 00:26:19,744 --> 00:26:21,830 - Hey. - Hey. 714 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,002 You went out for Courtney, didn't you? 715 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:28,086 Oh. 716 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:29,713 Uh, yeah. Yeah. 717 00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:32,132 - Okay. Oh, my God. - But it's really--it's fine. 718 00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,758 I'm--I'm happy for you. 719 00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:35,760 - Okay. - I swear. 720 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,346 All right, well, if it makes you feel any better, 721 00:26:38,346 --> 00:26:42,142 I probably only got the role 'cause of my femme privilege. 722 00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:43,643 I'm sorry, what? 723 00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:46,187 Cary, the role used to be a woman. 724 00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:47,939 They changed not a single line. 725 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:50,483 Who do you think's getting that part, you or me? 726 00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,319 I mean, is it homophobic to say you? 727 00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:53,903 No. And yes. 728 00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:55,030 But the answer is me. 729 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,531 Well, you're being very nice, 730 00:26:56,531 --> 00:26:58,700 but I'm sure you were just better. 731 00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,036 - Yeah, that too. That too. - [laughs] 732 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:04,456 But they were clearly looking for an actor that screamed gay, 733 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,791 which is deeply problematic for the world 734 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:10,712 but great for me because now I'm Courtney No Last Name. 735 00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:12,630 Well, to Courtney No Last Name. 736 00:27:12,630 --> 00:27:14,174 All right, let's get some drinks. 737 00:27:14,174 --> 00:27:15,717 Let's have fun. We're at Ellen's house. 738 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:17,052 [laughs] 739 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:18,636 So his name is Courtney, 740 00:27:18,636 --> 00:27:20,263 and it's a pilot for Paramount+. 741 00:27:20,263 --> 00:27:22,557 - Wow. That's so cool, Curtis. - Thank you, ChaseDreams. 742 00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:24,768 Yeah, I'll have to, like, check it out when it comes out. 743 00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,269 - I mean, wow. - I know. 744 00:27:26,269 --> 00:27:27,979 We had a bunch of clients go in for that. 745 00:27:27,979 --> 00:27:29,898 - Congrats, man. - Thank you. 746 00:27:29,898 --> 00:27:31,566 - Oh, my God, you've heard. - Oh! 747 00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:32,734 - Cheers. - Cheers, man. 748 00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:33,902 - Cheers. - Cheers. 749 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,945 Bottoms up, my dudes! Whoo! 750 00:27:35,945 --> 00:27:39,449 So it's Ashley Tisdale and it's on Paramount+, 751 00:27:39,449 --> 00:27:41,034 and that's all I know. 752 00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:43,787 - And that's all I need to know. - That's amazing. 753 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:47,123 It's fucking hard to get cast in anything these days. 754 00:27:47,123 --> 00:27:49,209 You should be so, so proud. 755 00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,960 - Yeah, you should be. - Oh, thanks, Car. 756 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,338 Thank God for that femme privilege. 757 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,839 - [scoffs] - Yeah, we were both up 758 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,300 for the role, but, uh, Curtis got it. 759 00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:58,843 Definitely 'cause he was way better. 760 00:27:58,843 --> 00:28:00,762 But then Curtis was also saying 761 00:28:00,762 --> 00:28:02,389 that, like, maybe he got it 762 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,932 because he was more obviously gay, 763 00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:08,311 and networks kind of want that now, so... 764 00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:10,355 Yeah, lucky me. [phone buzzing] 765 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,440 - I'm more femme. - Ugh. 766 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,692 - If you can tell. - My agent calling. 767 00:28:14,692 --> 00:28:17,821 Probably to tell me I did not get Courtney. 768 00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:20,240 Fun! That's gonna be fun. 769 00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,494 Where is she? 770 00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:26,371 Oh! Shuli? 771 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,415 Um, Shuli? Shuli, hi. 772 00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,750 I've been thinking, and I-- 773 00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,211 wait, what is going on here? 774 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:35,964 Your mother snuck away from her detail, again. 775 00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,633 Go ahead, Pat. Tell her what you did to us. 776 00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:41,261 I drugged them with tea. 777 00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:43,721 And because of that, now what happened? 778 00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:46,141 I have a general with JoJo Siwa. 779 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:47,809 Okay. 780 00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,979 Well, I guess it's good that you're all here, 781 00:28:50,979 --> 00:28:55,150 because I love you and Chase very much, 782 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:58,820 but I have decided to leave the industry. 783 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:00,113 What? 784 00:29:00,113 --> 00:29:01,698 Streeter will still represent you, 785 00:29:01,698 --> 00:29:04,784 but I want to leave. 786 00:29:04,784 --> 00:29:06,494 I mean, I don't want to-- 787 00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:09,539 I actually want to stay, but I just-- 788 00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,624 I--I can't. 789 00:29:11,624 --> 00:29:12,667 I have to go. 790 00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:14,669 I mean, I-- 791 00:29:14,669 --> 00:29:16,045 I need to go. 792 00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:17,255 Oh, honey. 793 00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,840 I didn't know you felt this way. 794 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,092 Yeah, yeah, but whatever makes you happy. 795 00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:22,969 - Thanks, bud. - Okay, ma'am. 796 00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:24,637 - Your car is ready. - Ugh. 797 00:29:24,637 --> 00:29:26,347 All right, we're bringing her out right now. 798 00:29:26,347 --> 00:29:30,185 I really don't want to have lunch with JoJo Siwa. 799 00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,145 I know. I'm sorry, Mom. 800 00:29:32,145 --> 00:29:33,688 Oh, wait. Sorry, Shuli. 801 00:29:33,688 --> 00:29:35,523 Before I quit, do you think you can tell me 802 00:29:35,523 --> 00:29:37,108 what's going on with DaBaby? 803 00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:39,569 Just fucking go, Brooke. 804 00:29:39,569 --> 00:29:40,862 Uh, what? 805 00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,322 This may be a joke to you, 806 00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:44,949 but this is my job, and I care about it. 807 00:29:44,949 --> 00:29:48,828 And frankly, I've spent a lot of time helping you. 808 00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:52,749 So this quitting, not quitting shit isn't funny. 809 00:29:52,749 --> 00:29:56,085 If you're out, be out. 810 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:03,927 - Oh, my God! - [screams] 811 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,428 Hi, Doug. 812 00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:07,555 Yes, it is the most wonderful time of the year. 813 00:30:07,555 --> 00:30:08,932 - Curtis, Curtis! - Yeah? 814 00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:11,351 Guess what. I just got a role too. 815 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,019 Wha--whoa, whoa. 816 00:30:13,019 --> 00:30:14,646 - Congratulations. - Yeah. Yeah. 817 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,481 It's a three-episode arc on that show, 818 00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,316 uh, "Emily Overruled." 819 00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,109 Okay. CBS. 820 00:30:20,109 --> 00:30:22,153 - That's prime time, baby. - I know. 821 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:23,947 And I didn't even have to audition, 822 00:30:23,947 --> 00:30:26,866 'cause I guess I'm, like, somewhat of a name now? 823 00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,409 But isn't that great? 824 00:30:28,409 --> 00:30:31,246 - We both booked roles! - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 825 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:33,915 And, um, Lucas just sang the entirety of "Jingle Bells" 826 00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:36,417 at me, so I'm assuming he booked one too. 827 00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,710 Yes. Ugh. 828 00:30:37,710 --> 00:30:39,212 But he is not playing a virgin anymore, 829 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:41,464 so now I can take him home and celebrate, 830 00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:43,424 if you know what I mean, but gotta run. 831 00:30:43,424 --> 00:30:45,260 - Such a fun night. - Okay. 832 00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:46,427 - Okay, bye, Cary. - Bye. 833 00:30:46,427 --> 00:30:47,762 - Cary? - Bye, bye, bye. 834 00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:48,972 Oh, hey. There you are. 835 00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:51,182 I was just gonna--oof! 836 00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:58,815 Oh, God. 837 00:30:58,815 --> 00:31:01,985 I'm so glad you're playing not a virgin now. 838 00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,736 You know what? 839 00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:05,738 Let's not kiss. 840 00:31:05,738 --> 00:31:08,157 Okay. What do you want to do? 841 00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:09,993 I was thinking something, uh-- 842 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,120 something like this. 843 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,122 Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no! 844 00:31:14,122 --> 00:31:16,082 You know we're in my hometown for Christmas. 845 00:31:16,082 --> 00:31:17,417 What? 846 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:19,377 My parents are asleep in the next room! 847 00:31:19,377 --> 00:31:20,712 Oh, my God. 848 00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:23,881 Um, well, we'll just have to keep it down 849 00:31:23,881 --> 00:31:26,342 for them, then. 850 00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:28,094 No, it's not safe. 851 00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:30,722 I still haven't even told them I'm gay! 852 00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,640 What's this now? 853 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,642 I promise I'm gonna tell them soon, babe. 854 00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:37,478 Just... not on Christmas. 855 00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:41,107 Sorry, so we for real can't have sex again? 856 00:31:41,107 --> 00:31:43,318 'Cause my--my hole is out. 857 00:31:43,318 --> 00:31:45,403 I should probably sleep on the couch. 858 00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:47,071 Night, babe. 859 00:31:47,071 --> 00:31:49,115 And babe? 860 00:31:49,115 --> 00:31:50,533 Merry Christmas. 861 00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:52,327 [door closes] 862 00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:54,704 This is fine. 863 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:56,664 It's his process. 864 00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:59,834 ["Carol of the Bells" remix playing] 865 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:07,008 ♪ ♪