1 00:00:00,804 --> 00:00:04,175 [grunts] Help! 2 00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:06,677 My nachos! [door opens] 3 00:00:08,079 --> 00:00:10,782 Hey, baby girl. How you feeling? 4 00:00:10,882 --> 00:00:12,952 Maybe ready to go back to work? 5 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:14,686 Not that I want you out of the house. 6 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,088 I mean, at this point, 7 00:00:16,186 --> 00:00:17,588 I don't think I could fall asleep 8 00:00:17,688 --> 00:00:19,291 without the sound of you sobbing. 9 00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,326 [crying] He just broke my heart, 10 00:00:21,424 --> 00:00:24,929 and now I'm the most sad anyone's ever been. 11 00:00:25,029 --> 00:00:26,865 Well, maybe going back to work 12 00:00:26,963 --> 00:00:28,532 - will take your mind off it... - [blows nose] 13 00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:30,302 Or even doing something simple, 14 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,670 - like changing your underwear. - [blows nose] 15 00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:35,639 Hey, let's at least do the underwear one. 16 00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,242 I can't. I just want to watch TV. 17 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,778 You've watched everything on TV. 18 00:00:39,877 --> 00:00:43,348 HBO, Hulu, Apple-- it's all been watched. 19 00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:45,550 Well, I was thinking about checking out Peacock. 20 00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,186 I like the font on their main page. 21 00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:48,653 Okay, no! 22 00:00:48,752 --> 00:00:50,688 You need to get out of this house now. 23 00:00:50,788 --> 00:00:54,858 Maybe find Shuli. Go hang with Shuli. 24 00:00:54,959 --> 00:00:56,161 [muffled] It's just 25 00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:58,163 the things he said to me were not okay. 26 00:00:58,262 --> 00:00:59,798 He was like, "If you got a problem, 27 00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:01,900 you're supposed to sit down and talk to me." 28 00:01:01,998 --> 00:01:04,536 [scoffs] Can you believe that? He's a bad man. 29 00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:07,639 - So you're not here to work? - I'm not ready. 30 00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,208 Oh, and then he was like, 31 00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:11,143 "I want a partner who's honest." 32 00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:12,644 [scoffs] Okay, Ted Bundy. 33 00:01:12,742 --> 00:01:14,445 Listen, Brooke, I need you to leave, 34 00:01:14,544 --> 00:01:16,548 'cause I'm busy and you smell violent. 35 00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:18,416 - It's the nachos - It's not. 36 00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:20,319 Why don't you go see what Cary's up to? 37 00:01:20,418 --> 00:01:21,820 Go hang with Cary. 38 00:01:21,918 --> 00:01:24,489 Like, seriously, the narrative is that Lance 39 00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:27,692 is this lovable goofball, but behind closed doors, 40 00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:30,429 he calls you the F word all the time. 41 00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:33,264 That does sound like him, but, uh, maybe you should, 42 00:01:33,363 --> 00:01:36,501 uh, go find Mom, 'cause I'm at Disney right now. 43 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,369 Ah, Cary, we're ready for you. 44 00:01:38,469 --> 00:01:40,739 - Oh. - And sorry about that smell. 45 00:01:40,837 --> 00:01:43,103 {\an8}Jeez, I don't know what that is. 46 00:01:43,207 --> 00:01:45,610 {\an8}- It's the nachos. - No, it's not. 47 00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:47,646 {\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪ 48 00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:50,149 {\an8}Cary, we are thrilled you came in, 49 00:01:50,246 --> 00:01:53,218 {\an8}because we want to talk to you about the offer of a lifetime-- 50 00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:57,489 {\an8}a powerful gay role in Disney's next film. 51 00:01:57,588 --> 00:02:00,059 - Whoa. Really? - Yeah. 52 00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:02,161 'Cause my boyfriend just got nominated for a Tony 53 00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,029 for an important gay role he's doing, 54 00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,231 so it would be nice to also tackle 55 00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,128 something meaningful for the community. 56 00:02:08,232 --> 00:02:10,802 My last few roles have been whatever. 57 00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,134 Um, so I'd love to not just act but make a difference. 58 00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:15,840 I-I think that's been the problem. 59 00:02:15,939 --> 00:02:17,609 Well, then this should be perfect for everyone involved. 60 00:02:17,708 --> 00:02:19,778 - Yeah. - So, as you're probably aware, 61 00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:22,747 our wildly successful "Haunted Buddies" franchise 62 00:02:22,846 --> 00:02:25,484 has gotten some flak for not having any queer characters. 63 00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:27,252 - [exhales sharply] - But we at Disney 64 00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:30,589 are committed to fixing that grave mistake... now. 65 00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:33,825 Yes, so, in addition to our beloved core characters 66 00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,395 of Wolfy, Vampira, and Dr. Baggo Bones... 67 00:02:36,493 --> 00:02:38,563 - [chuckles] Yeah. - For "Haunted Buddies 4," 68 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:42,201 we are adding... 69 00:02:42,299 --> 00:02:43,868 - Globby. - That's right. 70 00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,370 Globby will be the "Haunted Buddies" 71 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,807 first-ever openly queer character. 72 00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:52,877 Sorry, so this-- this goo i-is homosexual? 73 00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:56,015 - The goo is homosexual. - Isn't that incredible? 74 00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:58,283 Yes. No, very cool. 75 00:02:58,382 --> 00:03:02,654 Um, and how exactly is he gay? 76 00:03:02,752 --> 00:03:05,890 Because he--he sort of just looks like, uh... 77 00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,626 sexless green snot. 78 00:03:07,725 --> 00:03:09,728 Great question-- because we've also gotten 79 00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:12,192 some flak for saying a character is gay 80 00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:13,565 and then not really showing it, 81 00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:15,700 which is why in "Haunted Buddies 4," 82 00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:18,003 we're including a groundbreaking scene 83 00:03:18,101 --> 00:03:21,201 where Vampira opens the door to Globby's bedroom, 84 00:03:21,305 --> 00:03:25,644 and we see Globby in bed with another glob. 85 00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:28,147 Which is huge--I mean, for Disney to include a scene 86 00:03:28,246 --> 00:03:29,781 as unapologetically gay as this? 87 00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,850 Right? I mean, two globs in bed-- 88 00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:34,286 it doesn't get more gayer than that. 89 00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,755 - [laughter] - No. Yes, uh... 90 00:03:36,854 --> 00:03:40,059 it's just, how is that visual gay-- 91 00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:41,927 the two globs in bed? 92 00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,762 Like, does the other glob talk 93 00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,365 and have, like, a male voice or-- 94 00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:49,101 No, but if Globby was straight, 95 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,835 when Vampira opened the door, 96 00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,571 then he'd be in bed with a human woman, 97 00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,140 But he's not. He's in bed with another glob. 98 00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:56,708 Yeah. 99 00:03:56,808 --> 00:03:59,239 So he's gay. 100 00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:02,347 No, right, right. 101 00:04:02,446 --> 00:04:04,449 And, like, he's not even a doctor, Mom. 102 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,818 He's a nurse, which, not to be whatever, 103 00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:08,353 but gay much? 104 00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:10,489 Which has to be the root of this. 105 00:04:10,588 --> 00:04:12,824 It's not that I'm wrong. It's he's gay. 106 00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:15,094 Yes, Brooke, but I can't talk right now 107 00:04:15,191 --> 00:04:17,963 because I'm taping an interview for "CBS Saturday Morning." 108 00:04:18,061 --> 00:04:20,565 Sorry, yeah, I-I'm gonna need you to get up. 109 00:04:20,664 --> 00:04:22,701 - You are very much in the shot. - Oh, don't be sorry. 110 00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:25,237 [grunts] It's Lance who should be sorry. 111 00:04:25,336 --> 00:04:27,267 It's just... 112 00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:29,241 he really hurt me, you know? 113 00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:30,675 - Push in. - What? 114 00:04:30,774 --> 00:04:34,113 But I am finally ready to break my silence-- 115 00:04:34,212 --> 00:04:35,714 and the music would be in here-- 116 00:04:35,813 --> 00:04:38,483 because if I can help even one woman-- 117 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:39,952 - now pan down to my hands. - No. 118 00:04:40,049 --> 00:04:42,887 Do not pan down to her hands. Steven, can you-- 119 00:04:42,987 --> 00:04:44,523 - both: Okay. - Oh, God, you stink. 120 00:04:44,622 --> 00:04:45,824 I'm so sorry. 121 00:04:45,924 --> 00:04:47,559 She's just having a really hard time. 122 00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:50,229 But I promise, if you'd met her 30, 31 years ago, 123 00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:51,563 you'd have really loved her. 124 00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:53,265 All right, let's just pick it up 125 00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:54,499 from the next question. 126 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,769 - Yeah. - Okay, so tell me, Pat-- 127 00:04:57,867 --> 00:05:00,372 what is it like being a single woman again? 128 00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:02,041 Oh... [both chuckle] 129 00:05:02,139 --> 00:05:04,009 Well, I-I am trying to get back out there, 130 00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:06,411 but I have to say, it's been a little hard for me. 131 00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:08,380 I mean, I have a security detail 132 00:05:08,478 --> 00:05:09,748 that follows me everywhere. 133 00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:11,483 I can't eat in restaurants like normal, 134 00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:14,286 so it just makes dating a regular person tough. 135 00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:17,622 - They don't all like that. - Mm. 136 00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:19,591 So I just need to find a person 137 00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:22,261 who isn't bothered by fame, someone more like me. 138 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,798 Wait, someone more like me-- 139 00:05:26,898 --> 00:05:29,268 this is what I've been saying. 140 00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,403 Lance was the problem. 141 00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:33,272 A strong, powerful businesswoman 142 00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:34,806 can't be with a simple nurse 143 00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:35,607 [scoffs] 144 00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:38,010 [indistinct chatter] 145 00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:39,744 [line trilling] 146 00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:41,680 - Hello. - Shuli, I'm ready. 147 00:05:41,778 --> 00:05:43,748 - To come back to work? - No, to date. 148 00:05:43,847 --> 00:05:47,119 Who is the most powerful businessman you know? 149 00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:48,787 Set me up... 150 00:05:48,887 --> 00:05:51,690 [sighs] With his boss. 151 00:05:51,788 --> 00:05:54,927 So gay globs are attracted to other globs, 152 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:58,530 and straight globs are attracted to human women? 153 00:05:58,628 --> 00:06:01,000 So Globby just being in bed 154 00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:02,902 with another glob is inherently gay? 155 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,636 - Now you get it. - That's exactly right. 156 00:06:04,734 --> 00:06:06,171 But, l-look, I-I think we're getting a little 157 00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:07,672 in the weeds here. 158 00:06:07,771 --> 00:06:10,842 Globby the Glob is a proud queer sack of mucus, 159 00:06:10,941 --> 00:06:12,877 and in this movie, we see him in bed 160 00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,347 with another proud queer sack of mucus. 161 00:06:15,446 --> 00:06:17,016 And since this is our first film 162 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,451 with such an unapologetically gay scene, 163 00:06:19,549 --> 00:06:21,486 we're doing a massive press push 164 00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:23,655 to let the whole world know. 165 00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:26,191 - Oh, you are? - Yes. 166 00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:28,793 So, if you're in, it will be a bit of a whirlwind. 167 00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:31,330 I-I mean, the media is gonna have a field day with this. 168 00:06:31,428 --> 00:06:32,831 And you and Globby 169 00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,934 will basically be the face of the whole movie. 170 00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:37,636 So the question is, do you want to be the face 171 00:06:37,735 --> 00:06:39,671 of a whole Disney movie? 172 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,510 The face? Whoa. 173 00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:47,913 - For all of the press? - Mm-hmm. 174 00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:53,885 You know, I can sort of see how that logic makes sense. 175 00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:55,287 Yeah, yeah. 176 00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:58,991 Like, Globby's gay 'cause he's in bed with another glob. 177 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,559 If he was straight, he'd be in bed 178 00:07:00,658 --> 00:07:02,794 with a human woman and-- 179 00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:04,424 Sorry, yeah, I'm just remembering 180 00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:06,865 the human woman of it all, and--and it does make sense. 181 00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:10,769 Okay, wow, this is actually beautiful. 182 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,872 Vampira opens the door, and-- and they're in bed together. 183 00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:17,509 That--that is important and--and unapologetically gay. 184 00:07:17,608 --> 00:07:20,545 And I'd be the voice of it? Oh, my God. 185 00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:22,114 I'm the voice of Disney's 186 00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:26,551 first-ever unapologetically gay character? 187 00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:29,922 Okay. Yes, I am in. 188 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:32,424 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. 189 00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:33,892 And I am actually free, 190 00:07:33,991 --> 00:07:37,329 if we wanted to start press now? 191 00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:39,899 I mean, sure, Globby haunts with the rest of the Buddies, 192 00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:41,700 but then there is this scene that-- 193 00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:43,668 and I was actually skeptical of it at first, 194 00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,939 but it's just unapologetically gay, 195 00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:50,175 and it is an honor to be the face of it. 196 00:07:50,274 --> 00:07:51,876 [cell phone chiming] 197 00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:55,814 ♪ Some folks are born made to wave the flag ♪ 198 00:07:55,912 --> 00:07:57,149 ♪ Ooh, they're red, white and blue ♪ 199 00:07:57,248 --> 00:07:58,850 And I think once the movie comes out, 200 00:07:58,949 --> 00:08:01,853 audiences are gonna see this incredibly relatable 201 00:08:01,953 --> 00:08:03,422 queer character in Globby. 202 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,990 You know, he's out, he's proud, 203 00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,359 he's a collection of dust particles and snot and-- 204 00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:10,095 - Oh, Cary Dubek. - Cary Dubek? 205 00:08:10,194 --> 00:08:11,563 [cell phone chiming] 206 00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:13,365 ♪ I ain't no senator's son, son ♪ 207 00:08:13,463 --> 00:08:16,801 I basically demanded Disney give me this role. 208 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,705 I mean, I really do think that Globby could do for movies 209 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,075 what "Pose" did for TV, hopefully. 210 00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,978 [voice shakes] Sorry, it makes me emotional talking about it. 211 00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:29,614 ♪ But when the taxman come to the door ♪ 212 00:08:29,713 --> 00:08:33,718 ♪ Lord, the house lookin' like a rummage sale, yeah ♪ 213 00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:35,254 ♪ It ain't me ♪ 214 00:08:35,353 --> 00:08:39,058 {\an8}♪ I ain't no fortunate one, no ♪ 215 00:08:39,156 --> 00:08:44,524 ♪ ♪ 216 00:08:44,623 --> 00:08:46,631 [crying] I just-- if I could have seen 217 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,901 a character like Globby when I was younger, 218 00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:51,703 it--it really could have changed my life. 219 00:08:51,803 --> 00:08:53,272 [elevator bell dinging] 220 00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,608 I wish my dad were alive to see Globby. 221 00:08:56,706 --> 00:08:59,378 - Jesus. - Penthouse floor. 222 00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:00,512 [exhales sharply] 223 00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:02,982 Brooke. Hey, come on in. 224 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,750 Wow. Don't mind if I do. 225 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,220 - [chuckles] - I'm a genius. 226 00:09:08,319 --> 00:09:09,989 - So... - [scoffs] 227 00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:12,491 - This is the place. - I see. 228 00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:15,460 [chuckles] God, it is so nice 229 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,898 to be dating a powerful businessperson like me. 230 00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:21,033 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 231 00:09:21,132 --> 00:09:23,335 My ex is a nurse, so I think that just led 232 00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:25,104 to this huge disconnect. 233 00:09:25,202 --> 00:09:28,773 Anyway, what's it like being a tech billionaire? 234 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,510 Oh, he'll tell you all about it. 235 00:09:31,608 --> 00:09:34,813 Uh, uh, sorry. You're not my date? 236 00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:37,182 Oh, no. He's your date. 237 00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:40,519 [grunting] Look how high I am! 238 00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:42,521 - Uh... - Oh, yeah. 239 00:09:42,619 --> 00:09:44,623 - Oh, um... - So fucking high. 240 00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:47,092 - Hello up there! - Oh, shit. 241 00:09:47,191 --> 00:09:49,228 Uh, I'm Brooke. 242 00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,896 Aren't I so, so high? 243 00:09:50,995 --> 00:09:53,665 No, yes, you are very high. 244 00:09:53,765 --> 00:09:54,934 Fuck, yes, I am. 245 00:09:55,032 --> 00:09:57,669 Sorry, the date's us rock climbing? 246 00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,538 Just him. You're here to watch. 247 00:09:59,636 --> 00:10:01,173 Don't let her come up! Stop her! 248 00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:03,475 It--it's okay. It's okay. I'm not coming up. 249 00:10:03,574 --> 00:10:05,945 I am not coming up. [chuckles] 250 00:10:06,044 --> 00:10:07,179 Jesus. 251 00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:10,482 Yes! [alarm rings] 252 00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:11,917 - Time! - Time! 253 00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:13,613 And that's how you play Celebrity, bitch. 254 00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:15,687 Oh, my God, okay. All right, sit down. 255 00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,656 Sit down. [indistinct chatter] 256 00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,158 I'm so glad you could come tonight. 257 00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:21,193 I haven't seen you in forever. How are things? 258 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,294 Oh, so crazy. 259 00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,897 All this Globby press has been insane. 260 00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:26,498 I haven't had a chance to come up for air, 261 00:10:26,597 --> 00:10:29,434 - like, all week. - Oh--oh, wow. 262 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:32,137 And then today Ted Cruz tweeted about Globby 263 00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:34,239 and said "Haunted Buddies" was disgusting, 264 00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:37,576 so now I'm in the center of this Twitter firestorm, 265 00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,878 which is so stupid. [chuckles] 266 00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:41,580 Oh, I hadn't seen that. 267 00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:43,015 Yeah, I guess it's what comes 268 00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:44,749 with being a leader in the community now. 269 00:10:44,849 --> 00:10:46,785 - [chuckles] - Okay, Cary's turn. 270 00:10:46,884 --> 00:10:49,121 - Ooh! - All right, let's go, Cary. 271 00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:50,055 60 seconds. 272 00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:51,957 - Okay. - Okay. Ready? 273 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,192 And... go. 274 00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,826 - All right, come on, Cary. - Come on, Cary. 275 00:10:54,926 --> 00:10:57,696 Um, pass. 276 00:10:57,796 --> 00:11:00,065 Okay, all right. 277 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,767 Um, pass. 278 00:11:05,136 --> 00:11:06,771 - Oh, oh, um... - Oh, okay. 279 00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,173 Uh, James Franco, uh, was in a movie about him. 280 00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:10,075 Uh, I don't know. Give me more. 281 00:11:10,174 --> 00:11:11,610 Uh... 282 00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,844 pass. 283 00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:14,646 [alarm rings] Phew. Okay. 284 00:11:14,746 --> 00:11:15,675 How many did we get? 285 00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,249 Well, out of 30 names, 286 00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:21,120 you could only describe Sandra Bullock, so one. 287 00:11:21,219 --> 00:11:23,655 Oh, sorry. I'm a--I'm a better guesser. 288 00:11:23,755 --> 00:11:25,685 [sparse laughter] 289 00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:28,127 [grunting] 290 00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:30,329 So... 291 00:11:30,427 --> 00:11:31,796 where are you from? 292 00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,665 Stop talking! I need to focus! 293 00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:36,969 [phone vibrating] 294 00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,405 Oh. 295 00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:42,041 Hey, Mom. What's up? 296 00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:44,476 I know we were both trying to date people more like us, 297 00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,145 so what hell are you in? 298 00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:50,149 No, I'm on a private plane with Simu Liu. 299 00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:54,019 Sorry, like, Simu Liu from the full Marvel Universe? 300 00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:56,488 Yep, he reached out after my big interview. 301 00:11:56,587 --> 00:11:57,717 We actually have a lot in common. 302 00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,124 - [clatter] - Ah, oh! 303 00:11:59,223 --> 00:12:01,026 I mean, he has even more security than me, 304 00:12:01,119 --> 00:12:03,428 so he just really gets what it's like to be famous, 305 00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,898 which is what I need in a man. 306 00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:08,267 Anyway, I'm on the Marvel plane right now, 307 00:12:08,365 --> 00:12:10,936 headed to a huge fan convention in Malaysia, 308 00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:13,733 and then we go to Japan and then I think Stockholm? 309 00:12:13,832 --> 00:12:15,474 - [scoffs] - I don't know. I'm not sure. 310 00:12:15,572 --> 00:12:18,243 I'm basically just traveling the world with Simu Liu. 311 00:12:18,342 --> 00:12:22,181 Wait, have you two... had sex? 312 00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:24,783 Yes, we have. He's an excellent lover. 313 00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:26,385 Plus, he's in really good shape, 314 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,420 I think because he has to work out every 45 minutes, 315 00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:31,456 or Marvel is legally allowed to put him down and recast him. 316 00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,325 I can't believe this. 317 00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:36,261 But he does spend a lot of time on the jet for his safety. 318 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,830 We haven't really been outside in days. 319 00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,665 Cool. Anyway, yeah. 320 00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:42,367 My date's really great, too. 321 00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:45,570 Yeah, he's a really sweet, salt-of-the-earth kind of dude. 322 00:12:45,669 --> 00:12:48,974 I should actually get back to him, so, um, bye-bye now. 323 00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:51,043 - Bye. - Who was that? 324 00:12:51,142 --> 00:12:54,046 - Did you tell 'em how high I am? - Yeah, sorry. 325 00:12:54,144 --> 00:12:56,348 I really need this to work. 326 00:12:56,447 --> 00:12:59,618 So do you think that we could maybe do something together? 327 00:12:59,716 --> 00:13:03,022 Like, maybe where I can actually see your face? 328 00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:04,823 - Is this better? - Fuck. 329 00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:07,059 I mean, yes. 330 00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:08,827 I told my doctor to give me the biggest lips 331 00:13:08,926 --> 00:13:11,830 of any man and the highest eyebrows. 332 00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:14,166 And he sure did. 333 00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:16,301 Okay, okay. Uh, this person is gay. 334 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,669 Ellen! Uh, NPH! 335 00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:19,238 - Uh, Ben Platt! - No. 336 00:13:19,337 --> 00:13:20,973 He's a writer. He's an activist. 337 00:13:21,071 --> 00:13:22,141 He wrote--he wrote "Go Tell It on the Mountain." 338 00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:23,442 - Oh, James Baldwin. - Yes. 339 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,843 Oh, yes, that's right. 340 00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,178 Oh, my God. Okay. 341 00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:28,247 Uh, this queen is a full star-- 342 00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:30,950 - Ben Platt! NPH! Uh, Ellen! - No. 343 00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:33,118 And for the last time, not one of us put 344 00:13:33,217 --> 00:13:35,487 Ben Platt, Ellen, or NPH in the bowl. 345 00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:37,990 Okay, okay, um, she's got great skin, 346 00:13:38,089 --> 00:13:40,926 and she's on a bomb new Paramount+ show. 347 00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:42,962 all: Oh, Curtis Paltrow! 348 00:13:43,061 --> 00:13:45,764 Oh, my God. Who put me in? 349 00:13:45,863 --> 00:13:47,566 I'm blushing. 350 00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:49,068 - [alarm rings] - Time. 351 00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:51,136 Oh, yeah, how is your show going? 352 00:13:51,235 --> 00:13:54,473 Well, um, we're shooting episode five right now, 353 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,175 and it's good, it's good. 354 00:13:56,273 --> 00:13:58,077 Working with Ashley Tisdale is a little tough, though, 355 00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,578 'cause she's not so much a scene partner 356 00:13:59,677 --> 00:14:02,114 - as she is as a scene adversary. - Oh, my God. 357 00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:04,549 They want me on the news right now. 358 00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,051 - What? - What? 359 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:07,953 Yeah, yeah, to talk about 360 00:14:08,052 --> 00:14:11,556 all this anti-gay Globby backlash. 361 00:14:11,656 --> 00:14:13,025 So dumb. 362 00:14:13,124 --> 00:14:14,593 Anyway, I should do it, 363 00:14:14,692 --> 00:14:16,761 just 'cause I don't want to let the community down, 364 00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:20,365 since Globby has weirdly become this queer icon or whatever. 365 00:14:20,464 --> 00:14:23,735 Yeah, I'm surprised Globby wasn't in the bowl. 366 00:14:23,835 --> 00:14:25,304 - [laughs] - Oh, no. God, no. 367 00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:27,206 That would have been embarrassing. 368 00:14:27,306 --> 00:14:28,307 Yeah, no. 369 00:14:28,406 --> 00:14:29,909 All right, well, you guys keep playing. 370 00:14:30,008 --> 00:14:31,810 Um, I'm just gonna go Zoom into the news 371 00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:33,445 in the other room. [chuckles] 372 00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:36,148 Oh, and if you guys could keep it down 373 00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:37,983 to a whisper, that'd be great. 374 00:14:38,082 --> 00:14:39,818 - Okay. - Thanks. 375 00:14:39,917 --> 00:14:42,054 [door opens, closes] 376 00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:44,656 He's--he's really a sweet guy. 377 00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,558 Anderson. Hello. 378 00:14:46,658 --> 00:14:49,628 [chewing loudly] 379 00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:51,263 So you like the restaurant? 380 00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:54,967 I rented out the entire place just for the two of us. 381 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:56,335 Done. Ha, I beat you. 382 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,602 [scoffs loudly] 383 00:14:57,702 --> 00:14:59,671 Uh, yeah. Very cool. 384 00:14:59,769 --> 00:15:02,841 A true perk of dating a successful businessperson 385 00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:04,409 like me. 386 00:15:04,508 --> 00:15:07,446 Um, actually, my ex was a nurse, so he-- 387 00:15:07,545 --> 00:15:10,082 [blows raspberry] A nurse is nothing. 388 00:15:10,181 --> 00:15:11,951 How much good can one stinking nurse do? 389 00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:14,386 I'm building hundreds of hospitals. 390 00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:17,990 Oh, you are? That's impressive. 391 00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:20,059 - Good for you. - Yeah, in the metaverse. 392 00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:21,560 So you're not building hospitals? 393 00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:23,462 Ooh, there's a playground out there. 394 00:15:23,561 --> 00:15:26,365 - Quick, time me on the slide. - What? Time you on what, now? 395 00:15:26,463 --> 00:15:27,866 I bet you I can go down it 396 00:15:27,966 --> 00:15:29,969 faster than that stupid fucking baby! 397 00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,870 Yeah, I bet you can? 398 00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,838 Sorry, are we still on a date? 399 00:15:33,937 --> 00:15:36,041 I just--I would really love it if you could help me 400 00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,938 make this even a little more successful, 401 00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:42,214 just 'cause my mom is on a full private jet with Simu-- 402 00:15:42,313 --> 00:15:45,317 Private jet? [scoffs] I can top that. 403 00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:48,620 What? How can you top that? 404 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:53,292 - Oh, my God, we're in space. - I'm the highest man alive! 405 00:15:55,627 --> 00:15:56,861 Curtis, hi. 406 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,463 Hey, it was so good seeing you the other week, 407 00:15:58,562 --> 00:16:00,332 even though you were mostly on the news. 408 00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:03,202 Yeah, sorry, this whole thing has been so crazy. 409 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,403 I've barely been able to... 410 00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:06,271 both: Come up for air. Yeah. 411 00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:08,040 Hey, listen, do you want to get dinner 412 00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,674 with me and my friends tonight? 413 00:16:09,773 --> 00:16:11,543 You know, spend some actual time together? I miss you. 414 00:16:11,643 --> 00:16:13,078 Um, sure, yeah. 415 00:16:13,177 --> 00:16:15,280 Uh, and then my premiere is actually tonight. 416 00:16:15,379 --> 00:16:17,882 So, afterwards, you should just all come to that. 417 00:16:17,982 --> 00:16:20,719 Oh, um, yeah. Okay, sure, yeah. 418 00:16:20,818 --> 00:16:22,287 Or wait, hold on. 419 00:16:22,386 --> 00:16:24,924 Patty, how much longer do you think this will take? 420 00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:26,491 Uh, a few hours. 421 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:29,561 I still have to add "Globby" to the bottom. 422 00:16:29,661 --> 00:16:31,063 Damn, okay. 423 00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:33,198 Uh, Curtis, I'm actually not gonna be able to make dinner, 424 00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:35,100 so I'll just meet you guys at the premiere. 425 00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:36,368 - Wait, what? - And heads up-- 426 00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:38,537 Westboro is now gonna be protesting there 427 00:16:38,635 --> 00:16:40,639 because they saw me on the news. 428 00:16:40,737 --> 00:16:43,909 So stupid. Anyway, I will see you guys there tonight. 429 00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,078 Uh, yeah, okay. Uh, bye. 430 00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:47,879 Bye. [line beeps] 431 00:16:47,978 --> 00:16:49,781 Sorry, I think we now have 432 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,052 to go to the premiere of "Haunted Buddies 4." 433 00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:56,355 [cell phone ringing] 434 00:16:58,056 --> 00:16:59,758 - Hey, Mom! - Oh, hi, honey. 435 00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:03,023 I was just calling you to see how all the dating is going. 436 00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:05,730 I mean, absolutely not as good as you. 437 00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:07,132 Aw. 438 00:17:07,231 --> 00:17:08,767 But hopefully tonight's guy is better. 439 00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,803 How's jetting around the world with Simu? 440 00:17:11,903 --> 00:17:13,305 Oh, I don't know. 441 00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:14,706 It was pretty fun at first, 442 00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:16,575 but now I'm kind of having a hard time. 443 00:17:16,673 --> 00:17:18,677 I just--I don't really know where I am 444 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,179 or when I am anymore? 445 00:17:20,278 --> 00:17:22,681 The sun just keeps rising and setting. 446 00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:25,284 Like, I think it's tomorrow and yesterday. 447 00:17:25,382 --> 00:17:26,718 - Ma'am. - And I told Simu 448 00:17:26,817 --> 00:17:28,420 we could maybe eat a meal together off the jet 449 00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:30,089 if we both wore the prosthetics, 450 00:17:30,186 --> 00:17:32,324 but Simu said he tried that after "Shang-Chi" came out, 451 00:17:32,423 --> 00:17:33,525 but some Marvel fans 452 00:17:33,624 --> 00:17:35,127 - still knew it was him. - How? 453 00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:36,461 I guess one of them had started living 454 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,297 in his walls, so she heard the plan. 455 00:17:38,396 --> 00:17:40,499 Marvel fans are not well, Brookie. 456 00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:42,301 Well, other than that, it sounds great. 457 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,669 So just relax and enjoy yourself. 458 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,506 You are insanely lucky. 459 00:17:47,605 --> 00:17:49,708 No, you're right. You're absolutely right. 460 00:17:49,806 --> 00:17:52,945 I am lucky. I'm lucky. Oh, I got to go, hon. 461 00:17:53,043 --> 00:17:55,780 Simu's doing a panel in Tokyo, and our security team 462 00:17:55,879 --> 00:17:57,549 said I can go as long as I'm completely hidden, 463 00:17:57,648 --> 00:18:00,152 so they're gonna zip me up into a suitcase 464 00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,521 so I can watch, or at least listen. 465 00:18:02,619 --> 00:18:05,991 - Okay, well, have fun. Bye. - Bye! 466 00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:09,861 And say hi to Streeter for me-- [line beeping] 467 00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:11,196 - [sighs] - Ready? 468 00:18:11,295 --> 00:18:13,093 [zipper opens] [laughter] 469 00:18:13,197 --> 00:18:15,767 [sighs] 470 00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:18,470 - Brooke? - Okay, damn. 471 00:18:18,568 --> 00:18:20,672 [chuckles] I'm liking the look of this. 472 00:18:20,771 --> 00:18:22,274 [chuckles] 473 00:18:22,373 --> 00:18:24,276 Although, um, I know that you're an app developer 474 00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,946 or whatever, but you're not a billionaire, right? 475 00:18:27,044 --> 00:18:29,109 Just stay a humble millionaire? 476 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,651 [chuckles] Yes, I'm just a millionaire. 477 00:18:32,749 --> 00:18:35,554 Okay. Whew! [both laugh] 478 00:18:35,653 --> 00:18:38,357 But not just one million, right? 479 00:18:38,456 --> 00:18:40,392 No, I have more than one million. 480 00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:42,327 Okay, cool. [chuckles] 481 00:18:42,426 --> 00:18:43,728 Not to be rude, it's just... 482 00:18:43,827 --> 00:18:45,164 both: Having only a million dollars 483 00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,466 is actually kind of poor. 484 00:18:47,565 --> 00:18:49,768 - What? - Okay, jinx. 485 00:18:49,866 --> 00:18:52,271 [both chuckle] Now you have to buy me a Coke. 486 00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,805 - [camera shutter clicks] - Over here. Over here. 487 00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:56,541 You know, I have to say, this is a historic night. 488 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,410 We at GLAAD are just so excited 489 00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:02,314 to see Disney's first-ever unapologetically gay scene. 490 00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:05,317 And we are here to demand that scene 491 00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,452 - be taken out of the movie! - Yeah! 492 00:19:07,551 --> 00:19:08,720 [together, chanting] Take it out! 493 00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:10,422 [together, chanting] Leave it in! 494 00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:12,691 - Take it out! - Leave it in! 495 00:19:12,790 --> 00:19:15,460 Oh, God. Where are they? 496 00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:17,362 - [exhales sharply] - Hey. 497 00:19:17,461 --> 00:19:18,597 Oh, great. There you are! 498 00:19:18,697 --> 00:19:20,232 - Yeah. - You're late. 499 00:19:20,331 --> 00:19:21,633 Yeah, that's because you just added this 500 00:19:21,732 --> 00:19:23,268 to our already-scheduled dinner. 501 00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:26,238 Uh, sorry, we know, but we're here now. 502 00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:27,739 Okay, are you guys ready to step 503 00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:29,841 into an absolute inferno? Let's hold hands. 504 00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:33,045 Wait, I'm--I'm sorry. Are we walking the red carpet? 505 00:19:33,143 --> 00:19:35,647 Yes! Hello, Globby Nation! 506 00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:38,617 Uh, me and my friends are here to say 507 00:19:38,715 --> 00:19:42,121 that we are not afraid of today's protests 508 00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:45,590 because we are all strong, gay men. 509 00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:48,060 - I'm actually bi. - Uh, I don't use gay. 510 00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:49,461 Shh, I got this. 511 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,563 Okay, let's all get in for a pic and say, 512 00:19:51,662 --> 00:19:55,195 "We're here, we're queer, we're Globby!" 513 00:19:55,299 --> 00:19:57,236 [chuckles] Great. 514 00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:58,703 Okay, please head inside. 515 00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,405 The premiere will begin shortly. 516 00:20:00,504 --> 00:20:02,441 All right, time to watch history be made. 517 00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:05,044 - [chuckles] - Jesus Christ. 518 00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:06,745 - Take it out! - Hi. 519 00:20:06,844 --> 00:20:08,647 And, yeah, I mean, I did just get 520 00:20:08,746 --> 00:20:11,750 out of a ten-year relationship that ravaged me emotionally. 521 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:12,751 - But... - Hmm. 522 00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:15,454 Now I am single and loving it. 523 00:20:15,553 --> 00:20:17,056 [chuckles] And I got to say-- 524 00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,291 I really love how both your lips touch when you chew. 525 00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:21,693 It has been very clutch, visually. 526 00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,223 [chuckles] Thank you? 527 00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:24,829 I was actually at this same restaurant 528 00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:26,731 a week ago with a full billionaire, 529 00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,934 and his lips looked like two fat slugs 530 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,369 had fallen asleep on his face. 531 00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:34,506 And he took me to outer space? It was not good. 532 00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:36,008 Uh, what's with these billionaires? 533 00:20:36,107 --> 00:20:38,477 It's like the split second they get all that money, 534 00:20:38,575 --> 00:20:39,811 their brain just seeps out of their skull? 535 00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:42,314 I think that's literally what happens. 536 00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:43,748 [both laugh] 537 00:20:43,848 --> 00:20:46,351 So, yes, I am glad you are not one. 538 00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:48,287 [cell phone ringing] 539 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,090 Oh, that's work calling, which is weird. 540 00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:52,357 I don't need to take it. 541 00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:53,758 No, go ahead. It's fine. 542 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:54,893 Yeah? 543 00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,395 And I will head to the little girls' room 544 00:20:56,494 --> 00:20:58,430 to freshen up, so we can move this back 545 00:20:58,529 --> 00:21:02,301 to your place? [both chuckle] 546 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,535 Hello? 547 00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:07,806 - [Muzak playing] - [humming along] 548 00:21:07,904 --> 00:21:10,542 Wait, what's that? What are you--what are you saying, Ted? 549 00:21:10,641 --> 00:21:14,113 Ah. Ma, ma, ma. [lips popping] 550 00:21:14,212 --> 00:21:16,781 Oh, my God. Our app sold? 551 00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:19,884 Our app just fully sold? Right this sec-- 552 00:21:19,984 --> 00:21:23,923 Okay, back to my millionaire I go. 553 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:24,924 Hmm. 554 00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:26,125 Hi. 555 00:21:26,223 --> 00:21:28,660 [chuckles] Hmm. 556 00:21:28,759 --> 00:21:32,397 - Wait, where did-- - Yes! Look how high I am! 557 00:21:32,496 --> 00:21:34,399 Wait. What the fuck is going on? 558 00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:35,700 I'm a billionaire, baby. 559 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,169 - What? - Fuck, yes! 560 00:21:37,268 --> 00:21:38,470 Since when? 561 00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:40,539 And how do you already have lip filler? 562 00:21:40,637 --> 00:21:43,408 - I'm so confused. - No, I'm confused. 563 00:21:43,507 --> 00:21:45,344 Oh, my God, we're not going back 564 00:21:45,443 --> 00:21:46,745 to your place anymore now, are we? 565 00:21:46,844 --> 00:21:48,847 No, we're going somewhere even better. 566 00:21:48,947 --> 00:21:49,848 We're going to-- 567 00:21:49,948 --> 00:21:51,883 I'm in space! 568 00:21:51,983 --> 00:21:54,586 [sighs] My fucking God. 569 00:21:54,685 --> 00:21:56,355 It's worse than we feared, Vampira! 570 00:21:56,453 --> 00:21:58,857 We must hurry. His weapon will soon be fully powered. 571 00:21:58,956 --> 00:22:01,560 - We are running out of time. - I'll round up the others. 572 00:22:01,658 --> 00:22:03,795 Okay, here it comes. It's right after this. 573 00:22:03,895 --> 00:22:07,199 - [howls] - [snores] 574 00:22:07,297 --> 00:22:09,902 Globby, let's go. We're late for the mission. 575 00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:11,736 Okay. 576 00:22:13,637 --> 00:22:15,975 Oh, wow. [chuckles] 577 00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:18,043 That's Professor Sinister's castle there! 578 00:22:18,142 --> 00:22:20,279 Okay, tell me when. So excited to see! 579 00:22:20,377 --> 00:22:21,914 Yeah, tell me when! Eeeeh! 580 00:22:22,012 --> 00:22:25,084 What do you mean? That--that was it. 581 00:22:25,182 --> 00:22:26,618 Were you not watching? 582 00:22:26,717 --> 00:22:27,953 Wait. What did he say? 583 00:22:28,052 --> 00:22:30,755 - He said that was it. - What was it? 584 00:22:30,854 --> 00:22:34,493 He said it already happened. But when? And, also, where? 585 00:22:34,591 --> 00:22:35,827 I think he said it was before this 586 00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:37,462 Yeah, he said it already happened. 587 00:22:37,561 --> 00:22:38,964 - Cary said it happened. - He said it happened. 588 00:22:39,062 --> 00:22:42,001 Wait, uh, Cary, I'm hearing the scene happened? 589 00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,602 What was it? Sorry. 590 00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,437 We just want to tell people we support it! 591 00:22:45,536 --> 00:22:47,539 Wait, shit, we missed the scene? 592 00:22:47,638 --> 00:22:49,241 We all wanted to throw eggs at it! 593 00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:51,310 Shh, the movie's still happening. 594 00:22:51,409 --> 00:22:53,478 - Yeah, be quiet. - Yeah. 595 00:22:53,577 --> 00:22:55,447 - No, wait, can we pause it? - What? 596 00:22:55,545 --> 00:22:56,848 I want to get to the bottom of this! 597 00:22:56,947 --> 00:22:58,650 Yeah, maybe let's bring up the lights? 598 00:22:58,749 --> 00:23:00,953 - I-I'm just so confused. - Yeah, bring up the lights. 599 00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:03,822 - [lights thud] - Sorry, uh, help me out, Car! 600 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,386 Where was the unapologetically gay scene 601 00:23:06,490 --> 00:23:07,960 you've been telling press about? 602 00:23:08,059 --> 00:23:09,261 - Yes, where is the scene? - Uh... 603 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:10,595 Yeah, where is the scene? 604 00:23:10,694 --> 00:23:12,664 I mean, I-I don't know what else to say. 605 00:23:12,764 --> 00:23:14,633 [scoffs] It was right there-- 606 00:23:14,731 --> 00:23:17,502 the two gay globs in bed together. 607 00:23:17,602 --> 00:23:19,138 That was it? 608 00:23:19,236 --> 00:23:21,206 Uh, how are we supposed to know they were gay? 609 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,874 Nothing about the scene was gay. 610 00:23:22,974 --> 00:23:23,808 Yeah-huh. 611 00:23:23,908 --> 00:23:25,444 I mean, if Globby was straight, 612 00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,079 he would have been in bed with a human woman. 613 00:23:27,178 --> 00:23:30,410 What? That--that's, like, glob logic 614 00:23:30,514 --> 00:23:32,317 that none of us could possibly know. 615 00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,087 Wait, so you're saying in this universe, 616 00:23:35,185 --> 00:23:37,656 straight globs are attracted to human women, 617 00:23:37,754 --> 00:23:41,693 and gay globs are attracted to other globs? 618 00:23:43,627 --> 00:23:45,530 Yes? [audience groans] 619 00:23:45,629 --> 00:23:46,999 So how are glob babies made? 620 00:23:47,097 --> 00:23:50,535 A straight glob has sex with a human woman, 621 00:23:50,634 --> 00:23:52,537 and that makes a baby glob? 622 00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:55,107 But wouldn't that be a half-human-half-glob? 623 00:23:55,206 --> 00:23:57,242 - How are full globs made? - Oh, yeah, good call. 624 00:23:57,341 --> 00:23:58,710 - Well... - You know what? 625 00:23:58,809 --> 00:24:00,545 If you guys want to take the scene out, it's fine. 626 00:24:00,644 --> 00:24:02,514 No, dude, you can totally leave it in. 627 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:05,084 - Sorry we got so riled up. - It's not your fault. 628 00:24:05,181 --> 00:24:07,719 Uh, there--uh, there was actually more to the scene. 629 00:24:07,819 --> 00:24:09,088 - Oh. - Shh, shh, shh. 630 00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:12,391 But Disney, um... they cut it. 631 00:24:12,490 --> 00:24:14,059 - Oh. - Oh. Oh, okay, then. 632 00:24:14,158 --> 00:24:15,455 - Oh, my God. - That makes sense. 633 00:24:15,559 --> 00:24:17,562 Disney does suck. What was cut? 634 00:24:17,661 --> 00:24:20,199 - Yeah, what, what was cut? - Uh... 635 00:24:21,098 --> 00:24:26,571 My glob, um... sucked the other glob's dick? 636 00:24:26,671 --> 00:24:27,839 - What? - No. 637 00:24:27,939 --> 00:24:29,541 - What? - In a kids' movie? 638 00:24:29,639 --> 00:24:31,510 No, I'm joking. I'm joking. 639 00:24:31,608 --> 00:24:34,879 Uh, but, uh, what was cut was, um... 640 00:24:34,979 --> 00:24:36,781 - So... - All right, you know what? 641 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,851 Um, you guys must be famished from all that protesting, 642 00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:43,155 so what do you say you all go get dinner? 643 00:24:43,253 --> 00:24:44,856 I mean, I could eat. 644 00:24:44,956 --> 00:24:46,458 - You like pizza? - Yeah. 645 00:24:46,557 --> 00:24:48,327 Hey, I'm--I'm Mark, by the way. 646 00:24:48,425 --> 00:24:49,828 Hey, I'm Terry. 647 00:24:49,927 --> 00:24:51,563 Ladies and gentlemen, please be patient. 648 00:24:51,662 --> 00:24:52,864 We will have the-- 649 00:24:52,964 --> 00:24:54,766 Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. 650 00:24:54,866 --> 00:24:56,135 That was so funny. 651 00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:59,972 Okay, great. That's 48 and 49-- 652 00:25:00,070 --> 00:25:04,109 Ooh, we're right above Ohio, where I used to live. 653 00:25:04,208 --> 00:25:06,811 Yuck. So lucky you got out of there. 654 00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:08,580 - [intercom chimes] - Okay, Simu. 655 00:25:08,678 --> 00:25:10,749 We'll be landing in Chicago for your next panel soon. 656 00:25:10,849 --> 00:25:12,451 Pat, if you want to watch, 657 00:25:12,550 --> 00:25:14,786 you should zip into your suitcase in the next ten. 658 00:25:14,885 --> 00:25:17,089 - [intercom chimes] - Oh, okay. 659 00:25:21,859 --> 00:25:24,563 Ooh, look, a rocket heading back to Earth! 660 00:25:24,663 --> 00:25:26,598 I wonder who's on that. 661 00:25:26,697 --> 00:25:29,834 Yeah! I did it! I was so high! 662 00:25:29,933 --> 00:25:33,973 I am better than all other men! Me am the most man! 663 00:25:34,071 --> 00:25:36,708 Oh, my God, shut the fuck up! 664 00:25:36,807 --> 00:25:40,145 I cannot believe I have been to full space 665 00:25:40,244 --> 00:25:42,014 twice in one week! 666 00:25:42,113 --> 00:25:46,585 Like, what the actual fuck, dude? 667 00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,988 You stupid men just get a shit ton of money 668 00:25:49,087 --> 00:25:50,822 and pop on a little cowboy hat 669 00:25:50,921 --> 00:25:52,925 and ride a dentist's chair to space? 670 00:25:53,024 --> 00:25:55,194 Like, what is this for? 671 00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:57,296 Like, you don't have to do as much good as a nurse 672 00:25:57,395 --> 00:26:01,666 or whatever, but, uh, my God, y'all just do no good? 673 00:26:01,766 --> 00:26:03,335 I do good. 674 00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:05,670 I've already drawn up plans to build dozens of schools. 675 00:26:05,769 --> 00:26:07,772 - Oh, you have? - Yeah, in the metaverse. 676 00:26:07,872 --> 00:26:09,341 Jesus Christ! 677 00:26:09,439 --> 00:26:12,144 Ugh! You all just have all the money and the power, 678 00:26:12,243 --> 00:26:14,346 and you do nothing. 679 00:26:14,444 --> 00:26:16,881 You do nothing. 680 00:26:16,981 --> 00:26:19,851 - And aren't you like me? - God... 681 00:26:19,951 --> 00:26:22,754 I mean, I thought so, but clearly not! 682 00:26:22,854 --> 00:26:24,123 No, I mean, you're a manager. 683 00:26:24,221 --> 00:26:26,025 You represent Pat Dubek and ChaseDreams. 684 00:26:26,122 --> 00:26:28,327 Don't they have, like, a billion dollars together? 685 00:26:28,426 --> 00:26:31,330 Yeah, I mean, they probably do, but-- 686 00:26:31,428 --> 00:26:32,592 And you represent them, 687 00:26:32,696 --> 00:26:34,333 which means that you have power, 688 00:26:34,431 --> 00:26:36,701 and you have access to their money and power. 689 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,338 So what are you doing with all of it? 690 00:26:41,172 --> 00:26:42,774 Oh, my God. 691 00:26:42,873 --> 00:26:45,577 I didn't need to leave the industry to do good. 692 00:26:45,676 --> 00:26:50,082 I can do good using the industry. 693 00:26:50,181 --> 00:26:51,550 [gasps] 694 00:26:51,649 --> 00:26:53,919 [ship rattling] 695 00:26:54,018 --> 00:26:55,754 [line beeping, trilling] 696 00:26:55,853 --> 00:26:57,923 - Hello? - Shuli? It's Brooke. 697 00:26:58,021 --> 00:27:00,025 You are not gonna believe this, but a straight man 698 00:27:00,124 --> 00:27:01,793 actually just taught me something, 699 00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:04,329 and I think I might be ready to come back to work. 700 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:05,830 - Oh, good. - Yep. 701 00:27:05,929 --> 00:27:08,667 Starting tomorrow, I am going to revolutionize 702 00:27:08,766 --> 00:27:10,669 the entire industry. 703 00:27:10,769 --> 00:27:14,940 I am going to use my power... 704 00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:16,108 for good. 705 00:27:16,206 --> 00:27:18,610 I mean, if you need more time-- 706 00:27:18,710 --> 00:27:21,613 [upbeat music] 707 00:27:21,713 --> 00:27:23,282 ♪ ♪ 708 00:27:25,617 --> 00:27:27,286 [indistinct chatter] 709 00:27:27,385 --> 00:27:29,154 Fuck. 710 00:27:29,253 --> 00:27:31,423 Cary, hold--hold up. Wait. 711 00:27:31,522 --> 00:27:32,925 [scoffs] 712 00:27:33,024 --> 00:27:35,627 Are--are you okay? 713 00:27:35,726 --> 00:27:38,030 What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 714 00:27:38,128 --> 00:27:41,000 You know, they really did cut more gay stuff from the movie. 715 00:27:41,097 --> 00:27:43,435 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, I'm sure they did. 716 00:27:43,534 --> 00:27:46,638 Oh, my God, wait, did Westboro still egg you? 717 00:27:46,736 --> 00:27:48,873 - Oh, no, GLAAD did. - Oof. 718 00:27:48,973 --> 00:27:50,409 Yeah. [chuckles] 719 00:27:50,507 --> 00:27:53,745 Um, hey, would you want to get a drink? 720 00:27:53,844 --> 00:27:56,015 I feel like it would be good to talk. 721 00:27:56,114 --> 00:27:57,950 Oh, thanks, but I'm--I'm tired. 722 00:27:58,049 --> 00:28:00,785 I think I'm just gonna head home, pass out. 723 00:28:00,885 --> 00:28:03,455 Yeah. Uh, okay. 724 00:28:03,554 --> 00:28:05,925 - Good night, Cary. - Night. 725 00:28:08,727 --> 00:28:12,097 Oh, my God, my jacket. 726 00:28:12,196 --> 00:28:13,966 You know, it's actually better 727 00:28:14,065 --> 00:28:16,135 that you can't tell that Globby's gay 728 00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:19,238 because his sexuality is beside the point on purpose. 729 00:28:19,336 --> 00:28:21,806 And, uh, if you just give me one more press cycle, 730 00:28:21,906 --> 00:28:23,475 I can explain how. 731 00:28:23,574 --> 00:28:25,177 - Yeah. - God. 732 00:28:25,276 --> 00:28:27,346 {\an8}[The MIDI Mafia's "I Hope You Hear Me"] 733 00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:29,814 {\an8}I hope they hear me. 734 00:28:29,914 --> 00:28:31,650 {\an8}I hope they hear me. 735 00:28:31,749 --> 00:28:36,821 {\an8}♪ ♪ 736 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,658 {\an8}- Ugh, it's too late. - Too late. 737 00:28:39,757 --> 00:28:42,995 {\an8}- It's too late. - Yeah, yeah. 738 00:28:43,093 --> 00:28:45,297 {\an8}- ♪ Whoo, keepin' my freak, keep dreamin' ♪ 739 00:28:45,394 --> 00:28:48,300 {\an8}♪ They gonna keep thievin', they gonna keep schemin' ♪ 740 00:28:48,397 --> 00:28:51,470 {\an8}♪ But this don't never stop, it's a lifestyle, homey ♪ 741 00:28:51,568 --> 00:28:54,306 {\an8}♪ Lifestyle, homey, but for those who know me ♪ 742 00:28:54,405 --> 00:28:56,108 {\an8}♪ This don't never stop ♪ 743 00:28:56,207 --> 00:28:58,177 {\an8}♪ The time is now, it's about to go down ♪ 744 00:28:58,275 --> 00:29:00,012 {\an8}♪ You better duck when you hear that sound ♪ 745 00:29:00,110 --> 00:29:01,646 {\an8}♪ Boom, 'cause this don't never stop ♪ 746 00:29:01,745 --> 00:29:03,482 {\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 747 00:29:03,581 --> 00:29:05,684 {\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh ♪ 748 00:29:05,783 --> 00:29:12,992 {\an8}♪ ♪