1
00:00:00,804 --> 00:00:04,175
[grunts]
Help!
2
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:06,677
My nachos!
[door opens]
3
00:00:08,079 --> 00:00:10,782
Hey, baby girl.
How you feeling?
4
00:00:10,882 --> 00:00:12,952
Maybe ready to go back to work?
5
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:14,686
Not that I want you
out of the house.
6
00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,088
I mean, at this point,
7
00:00:16,186 --> 00:00:17,588
I don't think
I could fall asleep
8
00:00:17,688 --> 00:00:19,291
without the sound
of you sobbing.
9
00:00:19,389 --> 00:00:21,326
[crying]
He just broke my heart,
10
00:00:21,424 --> 00:00:24,929
and now I'm the most sad
anyone's ever been.
11
00:00:25,029 --> 00:00:26,865
Well, maybe going back
to work
12
00:00:26,963 --> 00:00:28,532
- will take your mind off it...
- [blows nose]
13
00:00:28,632 --> 00:00:30,302
Or even doing
something simple,
14
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,670
- like changing your underwear.
- [blows nose]
15
00:00:32,769 --> 00:00:35,639
Hey, let's at least
do the underwear one.
16
00:00:35,739 --> 00:00:38,242
I can't.
I just want to watch TV.
17
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,778
You've watched everything
on TV.
18
00:00:39,877 --> 00:00:43,348
HBO, Hulu, Apple--
it's all been watched.
19
00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:45,550
Well, I was thinking
about checking out Peacock.
20
00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,186
I like the font
on their main page.
21
00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:48,653
Okay, no!
22
00:00:48,752 --> 00:00:50,688
You need to get
out of this house now.
23
00:00:50,788 --> 00:00:54,858
Maybe find Shuli.
Go hang with Shuli.
24
00:00:54,959 --> 00:00:56,161
[muffled] It's just
25
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:58,163
the things he said to me
were not okay.
26
00:00:58,262 --> 00:00:59,798
He was like,
"If you got a problem,
27
00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:01,900
you're supposed to sit down
and talk to me."
28
00:01:01,998 --> 00:01:04,536
[scoffs] Can you believe that?
He's a bad man.
29
00:01:04,635 --> 00:01:07,639
- So you're not here to work?
- I'm not ready.
30
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,208
Oh, and then he was like,
31
00:01:09,307 --> 00:01:11,143
"I want a partner
who's honest."
32
00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:12,644
[scoffs]
Okay, Ted Bundy.
33
00:01:12,742 --> 00:01:14,445
Listen, Brooke,
I need you to leave,
34
00:01:14,544 --> 00:01:16,548
'cause I'm busy
and you smell violent.
35
00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:18,416
- It's the nachos
- It's not.
36
00:01:18,515 --> 00:01:20,319
Why don't you go see
what Cary's up to?
37
00:01:20,418 --> 00:01:21,820
Go hang with Cary.
38
00:01:21,918 --> 00:01:24,489
Like, seriously,
the narrative is that Lance
39
00:01:24,588 --> 00:01:27,692
is this lovable goofball,
but behind closed doors,
40
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:30,429
he calls you the F word
all the time.
41
00:01:30,527 --> 00:01:33,264
That does sound like him,
but, uh, maybe you should,
42
00:01:33,363 --> 00:01:36,501
uh, go find Mom, 'cause
I'm at Disney right now.
43
00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,369
Ah, Cary,
we're ready for you.
44
00:01:38,469 --> 00:01:40,739
- Oh.
- And sorry about that smell.
45
00:01:40,837 --> 00:01:43,103
{\an8}Jeez, I don't know
what that is.
46
00:01:43,207 --> 00:01:45,610
{\an8}- It's the nachos.
- No, it's not.
47
00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:47,646
{\an8}- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪
48
00:01:47,744 --> 00:01:50,149
{\an8}Cary, we are thrilled
you came in,
49
00:01:50,246 --> 00:01:53,218
{\an8}because we want to talk to you
about the offer of a lifetime--
50
00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:57,489
{\an8}a powerful gay role
in Disney's next film.
51
00:01:57,588 --> 00:02:00,059
- Whoa. Really?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:02,161
'Cause my boyfriend
just got nominated for a Tony
53
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,029
for an important gay role
he's doing,
54
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:06,231
so it would be nice
to also tackle
55
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,128
something meaningful
for the community.
56
00:02:08,232 --> 00:02:10,802
My last few roles
have been whatever.
57
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:14,134
Um, so I'd love to not just act
but make a difference.
58
00:02:14,238 --> 00:02:15,840
I-I think
that's been the problem.
59
00:02:15,939 --> 00:02:17,609
Well, then this should be
perfect for everyone involved.
60
00:02:17,708 --> 00:02:19,778
- Yeah.
- So, as you're probably aware,
61
00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:22,747
our wildly successful
"Haunted Buddies" franchise
62
00:02:22,846 --> 00:02:25,484
has gotten some flak for not
having any queer characters.
63
00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:27,252
- [exhales sharply]
- But we at Disney
64
00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:30,589
are committed to fixing
that grave mistake... now.
65
00:02:30,688 --> 00:02:33,825
Yes, so, in addition
to our beloved core characters
66
00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:36,395
of Wolfy, Vampira,
and Dr. Baggo Bones...
67
00:02:36,493 --> 00:02:38,563
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- For "Haunted Buddies 4,"
68
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:42,201
we are adding...
69
00:02:42,299 --> 00:02:43,868
- Globby.
- That's right.
70
00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,370
Globby will be
the "Haunted Buddies"
71
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,807
first-ever
openly queer character.
72
00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:52,877
Sorry, so this--
this goo i-is homosexual?
73
00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:56,015
- The goo is homosexual.
- Isn't that incredible?
74
00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:58,283
Yes. No, very cool.
75
00:02:58,382 --> 00:03:02,654
Um, and how exactly is he gay?
76
00:03:02,752 --> 00:03:05,890
Because he--he sort of
just looks like, uh...
77
00:03:05,990 --> 00:03:07,626
sexless green snot.
78
00:03:07,725 --> 00:03:09,728
Great question--
because we've also gotten
79
00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:12,192
some flak for saying
a character is gay
80
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:13,565
and then not really showing it,
81
00:03:13,664 --> 00:03:15,700
which is why
in "Haunted Buddies 4,"
82
00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:18,003
we're including
a groundbreaking scene
83
00:03:18,101 --> 00:03:21,201
where Vampira opens the door
to Globby's bedroom,
84
00:03:21,305 --> 00:03:25,644
and we see Globby in bed
with another glob.
85
00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:28,147
Which is huge--I mean,
for Disney to include a scene
86
00:03:28,246 --> 00:03:29,781
as unapologetically gay
as this?
87
00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,850
Right?
I mean, two globs in bed--
88
00:03:31,949 --> 00:03:34,286
it doesn't get
more gayer than that.
89
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,755
- [laughter]
- No. Yes, uh...
90
00:03:36,854 --> 00:03:40,059
it's just,
how is that visual gay--
91
00:03:40,157 --> 00:03:41,927
the two globs in bed?
92
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:43,762
Like, does the other glob talk
93
00:03:43,861 --> 00:03:46,365
and have, like,
a male voice or--
94
00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:49,101
No, but if Globby
was straight,
95
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,835
when Vampira opened the door,
96
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,571
then he'd be in bed
with a human woman,
97
00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,140
But he's not.
He's in bed with another glob.
98
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:56,708
Yeah.
99
00:03:56,808 --> 00:03:59,239
So he's gay.
100
00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:02,347
No, right, right.
101
00:04:02,446 --> 00:04:04,449
And, like,
he's not even a doctor, Mom.
102
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,818
He's a nurse,
which, not to be whatever,
103
00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:08,353
but gay much?
104
00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:10,489
Which has to be
the root of this.
105
00:04:10,588 --> 00:04:12,824
It's not that I'm wrong.
It's he's gay.
106
00:04:12,923 --> 00:04:15,094
Yes, Brooke,
but I can't talk right now
107
00:04:15,191 --> 00:04:17,963
because I'm taping an interview
for "CBS Saturday Morning."
108
00:04:18,061 --> 00:04:20,565
Sorry, yeah, I-I'm gonna
need you to get up.
109
00:04:20,664 --> 00:04:22,701
- You are very much in the shot.
- Oh, don't be sorry.
110
00:04:22,799 --> 00:04:25,237
[grunts]
It's Lance who should be sorry.
111
00:04:25,336 --> 00:04:27,267
It's just...
112
00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:29,241
he really hurt me, you know?
113
00:04:29,340 --> 00:04:30,675
- Push in.
- What?
114
00:04:30,774 --> 00:04:34,113
But I am finally ready
to break my silence--
115
00:04:34,212 --> 00:04:35,714
and the music would be
in here--
116
00:04:35,813 --> 00:04:38,483
because if I can help
even one woman--
117
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:39,952
- now pan down to my hands.
- No.
118
00:04:40,049 --> 00:04:42,887
Do not pan down to her hands.
Steven, can you--
119
00:04:42,987 --> 00:04:44,523
- both: Okay.
- Oh, God, you stink.
120
00:04:44,622 --> 00:04:45,824
I'm so sorry.
121
00:04:45,924 --> 00:04:47,559
She's just having
a really hard time.
122
00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:50,229
But I promise, if you'd met her
30, 31 years ago,
123
00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:51,563
you'd have really loved her.
124
00:04:51,662 --> 00:04:53,265
All right,
let's just pick it up
125
00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:54,499
from the next question.
126
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:57,769
- Yeah.
- Okay, so tell me, Pat--
127
00:04:57,867 --> 00:05:00,372
what is it like
being a single woman again?
128
00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:02,041
Oh...
[both chuckle]
129
00:05:02,139 --> 00:05:04,009
Well, I-I am trying
to get back out there,
130
00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:06,411
but I have to say,
it's been a little hard for me.
131
00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:08,380
I mean, I have
a security detail
132
00:05:08,478 --> 00:05:09,748
that follows me everywhere.
133
00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:11,483
I can't eat in restaurants
like normal,
134
00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:14,286
so it just makes dating
a regular person tough.
135
00:05:14,385 --> 00:05:17,622
- They don't all like that.
- Mm.
136
00:05:17,721 --> 00:05:19,591
So I just need
to find a person
137
00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:22,261
who isn't bothered by fame,
someone more like me.
138
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:26,798
Wait, someone more like me--
139
00:05:26,898 --> 00:05:29,268
this is what I've been saying.
140
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,403
Lance was the problem.
141
00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:33,272
A strong,
powerful businesswoman
142
00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:34,806
can't be with a simple nurse
143
00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:35,607
[scoffs]
144
00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:38,010
[indistinct chatter]
145
00:05:38,108 --> 00:05:39,744
[line trilling]
146
00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:41,680
- Hello.
- Shuli, I'm ready.
147
00:05:41,778 --> 00:05:43,748
- To come back to work?
- No, to date.
148
00:05:43,847 --> 00:05:47,119
Who is the most powerful
businessman you know?
149
00:05:47,218 --> 00:05:48,787
Set me up...
150
00:05:48,887 --> 00:05:51,690
[sighs]
With his boss.
151
00:05:51,788 --> 00:05:54,927
So gay globs
are attracted to other globs,
152
00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:58,530
and straight globs
are attracted to human women?
153
00:05:58,628 --> 00:06:01,000
So Globby just being in bed
154
00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:02,902
with another glob
is inherently gay?
155
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,636
- Now you get it.
- That's exactly right.
156
00:06:04,734 --> 00:06:06,171
But, l-look, I-I think
we're getting a little
157
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:07,672
in the weeds here.
158
00:06:07,771 --> 00:06:10,842
Globby the Glob is
a proud queer sack of mucus,
159
00:06:10,941 --> 00:06:12,877
and in this movie,
we see him in bed
160
00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:15,347
with another
proud queer sack of mucus.
161
00:06:15,446 --> 00:06:17,016
And since this is
our first film
162
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,451
with such an unapologetically
gay scene,
163
00:06:19,549 --> 00:06:21,486
we're doing
a massive press push
164
00:06:21,585 --> 00:06:23,655
to let the whole world know.
165
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:26,191
- Oh, you are?
- Yes.
166
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:28,793
So, if you're in, it will be
a bit of a whirlwind.
167
00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:31,330
I-I mean, the media is gonna
have a field day with this.
168
00:06:31,428 --> 00:06:32,831
And you and Globby
169
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,934
will basically be the face
of the whole movie.
170
00:06:35,032 --> 00:06:37,636
So the question is,
do you want to be the face
171
00:06:37,735 --> 00:06:39,671
of a whole Disney movie?
172
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,510
The face?
Whoa.
173
00:06:45,609 --> 00:06:47,913
- For all of the press?
- Mm-hmm.
174
00:06:49,913 --> 00:06:53,885
You know, I can sort of see
how that logic makes sense.
175
00:06:53,985 --> 00:06:55,287
Yeah, yeah.
176
00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:58,991
Like, Globby's gay 'cause
he's in bed with another glob.
177
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,559
If he was straight,
he'd be in bed
178
00:07:00,658 --> 00:07:02,794
with a human woman and--
179
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:04,424
Sorry, yeah,
I'm just remembering
180
00:07:04,528 --> 00:07:06,865
the human woman of it all,
and--and it does make sense.
181
00:07:06,964 --> 00:07:10,769
Okay, wow, this is
actually beautiful.
182
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:13,872
Vampira opens the door, and--
and they're in bed together.
183
00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:17,509
That--that is important
and--and unapologetically gay.
184
00:07:17,608 --> 00:07:20,545
And I'd be the voice of it?
Oh, my God.
185
00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:22,114
I'm the voice of Disney's
186
00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:26,551
first-ever
unapologetically gay character?
187
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:29,922
Okay.
Yes, I am in.
188
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:32,424
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
189
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:33,892
And I am actually free,
190
00:07:33,991 --> 00:07:37,329
if we wanted
to start press now?
191
00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:39,899
I mean, sure, Globby haunts
with the rest of the Buddies,
192
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:41,700
but then there
is this scene that--
193
00:07:41,798 --> 00:07:43,668
and I was actually skeptical
of it at first,
194
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,939
but it's just
unapologetically gay,
195
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:50,175
and it is an honor
to be the face of it.
196
00:07:50,274 --> 00:07:51,876
[cell phone chiming]
197
00:07:51,975 --> 00:07:55,814
♪ Some folks are born
made to wave the flag ♪
198
00:07:55,912 --> 00:07:57,149
♪ Ooh,
they're red, white and blue ♪
199
00:07:57,248 --> 00:07:58,850
And I think
once the movie comes out,
200
00:07:58,949 --> 00:08:01,853
audiences are gonna see
this incredibly relatable
201
00:08:01,953 --> 00:08:03,422
queer character in Globby.
202
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,990
You know, he's out, he's proud,
203
00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:07,359
he's a collection of
dust particles and snot and--
204
00:08:07,458 --> 00:08:10,095
- Oh, Cary Dubek.
- Cary Dubek?
205
00:08:10,194 --> 00:08:11,563
[cell phone chiming]
206
00:08:11,656 --> 00:08:13,365
♪ I ain't
no senator's son, son ♪
207
00:08:13,463 --> 00:08:16,801
I basically demanded Disney
give me this role.
208
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,705
I mean, I really do think
that Globby could do for movies
209
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:23,075
what "Pose" did for TV, hopefully.
210
00:08:23,173 --> 00:08:25,978
[voice shakes] Sorry, it makes
me emotional talking about it.
211
00:08:26,076 --> 00:08:29,614
♪ But when the taxman
come to the door ♪
212
00:08:29,713 --> 00:08:33,718
♪ Lord, the house lookin' like
a rummage sale, yeah ♪
213
00:08:33,818 --> 00:08:35,254
♪ It ain't me ♪
214
00:08:35,353 --> 00:08:39,058
{\an8}♪ I ain't
no fortunate one, no ♪
215
00:08:39,156 --> 00:08:44,524
♪ ♪
216
00:08:44,623 --> 00:08:46,631
[crying] I just--
if I could have seen
217
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,901
a character like Globby
when I was younger,
218
00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:51,703
it--it really
could have changed my life.
219
00:08:51,803 --> 00:08:53,272
[elevator bell dinging]
220
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:56,608
I wish my dad
were alive to see Globby.
221
00:08:56,706 --> 00:08:59,378
- Jesus.
- Penthouse floor.
222
00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:00,512
[exhales sharply]
223
00:09:00,611 --> 00:09:02,982
Brooke.
Hey, come on in.
224
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,750
Wow.
Don't mind if I do.
225
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,220
- [chuckles]
- I'm a genius.
226
00:09:08,319 --> 00:09:09,989
- So...
- [scoffs]
227
00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:12,491
- This is the place.
- I see.
228
00:09:12,589 --> 00:09:15,460
[chuckles]
God, it is so nice
229
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,898
to be dating a powerful
businessperson like me.
230
00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:21,033
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
231
00:09:21,132 --> 00:09:23,335
My ex is a nurse,
so I think that just led
232
00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:25,104
to this huge disconnect.
233
00:09:25,202 --> 00:09:28,773
Anyway, what's it like
being a tech billionaire?
234
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,510
Oh, he'll tell you
all about it.
235
00:09:31,608 --> 00:09:34,813
Uh, uh, sorry.
You're not my date?
236
00:09:34,913 --> 00:09:37,182
Oh, no.
He's your date.
237
00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:40,519
[grunting]
Look how high I am!
238
00:09:40,617 --> 00:09:42,521
- Uh...
- Oh, yeah.
239
00:09:42,619 --> 00:09:44,623
- Oh, um...
- So fucking high.
240
00:09:44,721 --> 00:09:47,092
- Hello up there!
- Oh, shit.
241
00:09:47,191 --> 00:09:49,228
Uh, I'm Brooke.
242
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:50,896
Aren't I so, so high?
243
00:09:50,995 --> 00:09:53,665
No, yes,
you are very high.
244
00:09:53,765 --> 00:09:54,934
Fuck, yes, I am.
245
00:09:55,032 --> 00:09:57,669
Sorry,
the date's us rock climbing?
246
00:09:57,768 --> 00:09:59,538
Just him.
You're here to watch.
247
00:09:59,636 --> 00:10:01,173
Don't let her come up!
Stop her!
248
00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:03,475
It--it's okay. It's okay.
I'm not coming up.
249
00:10:03,574 --> 00:10:05,945
I am not coming up.
[chuckles]
250
00:10:06,044 --> 00:10:07,179
Jesus.
251
00:10:09,579 --> 00:10:10,482
Yes!
[alarm rings]
252
00:10:10,581 --> 00:10:11,917
- Time!
- Time!
253
00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:13,613
And that's how you play
Celebrity, bitch.
254
00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:15,687
Oh, my God, okay.
All right, sit down.
255
00:10:15,786 --> 00:10:17,656
Sit down.
[indistinct chatter]
256
00:10:17,754 --> 00:10:19,158
I'm so glad
you could come tonight.
257
00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:21,193
I haven't seen you in forever.
How are things?
258
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,294
Oh, so crazy.
259
00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,897
All this Globby press
has been insane.
260
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:26,498
I haven't had a chance
to come up for air,
261
00:10:26,597 --> 00:10:29,434
- like, all week.
- Oh--oh, wow.
262
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:32,137
And then today
Ted Cruz tweeted about Globby
263
00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:34,239
and said "Haunted Buddies"
was disgusting,
264
00:10:34,338 --> 00:10:37,576
so now I'm in the center
of this Twitter firestorm,
265
00:10:37,674 --> 00:10:39,878
which is so stupid.
[chuckles]
266
00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:41,580
Oh, I hadn't seen that.
267
00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:43,015
Yeah, I guess it's what comes
268
00:10:43,114 --> 00:10:44,749
with being a leader
in the community now.
269
00:10:44,849 --> 00:10:46,785
- [chuckles]
- Okay, Cary's turn.
270
00:10:46,884 --> 00:10:49,121
- Ooh!
- All right, let's go, Cary.
271
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:50,055
60 seconds.
272
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:51,957
- Okay.
- Okay. Ready?
273
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,192
And... go.
274
00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,826
- All right, come on, Cary.
- Come on, Cary.
275
00:10:54,926 --> 00:10:57,696
Um, pass.
276
00:10:57,796 --> 00:11:00,065
Okay, all right.
277
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,767
Um, pass.
278
00:11:05,136 --> 00:11:06,771
- Oh, oh, um...
- Oh, okay.
279
00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:08,173
Uh, James Franco, uh,
was in a movie about him.
280
00:11:08,272 --> 00:11:10,075
Uh, I don't know.
Give me more.
281
00:11:10,174 --> 00:11:11,610
Uh...
282
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:12,844
pass.
283
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:14,646
[alarm rings]
Phew. Okay.
284
00:11:14,746 --> 00:11:15,675
How many did we get?
285
00:11:15,780 --> 00:11:17,249
Well, out of 30 names,
286
00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:21,120
you could only describe
Sandra Bullock, so one.
287
00:11:21,219 --> 00:11:23,655
Oh, sorry.
I'm a--I'm a better guesser.
288
00:11:23,755 --> 00:11:25,685
[sparse laughter]
289
00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:28,127
[grunting]
290
00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:30,329
So...
291
00:11:30,427 --> 00:11:31,796
where are you from?
292
00:11:31,896 --> 00:11:33,665
Stop talking!
I need to focus!
293
00:11:33,765 --> 00:11:36,969
[phone vibrating]
294
00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,405
Oh.
295
00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:42,041
Hey, Mom. What's up?
296
00:11:42,138 --> 00:11:44,476
I know we were both trying
to date people more like us,
297
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,145
so what hell are you in?
298
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:50,149
No, I'm on a private plane
with Simu Liu.
299
00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:54,019
Sorry, like, Simu Liu
from the full Marvel Universe?
300
00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:56,488
Yep, he reached out
after my big interview.
301
00:11:56,587 --> 00:11:57,717
We actually have
a lot in common.
302
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,124
- [clatter]
- Ah, oh!
303
00:11:59,223 --> 00:12:01,026
I mean, he has
even more security than me,
304
00:12:01,119 --> 00:12:03,428
so he just really gets
what it's like to be famous,
305
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:05,898
which is what I need in a man.
306
00:12:05,996 --> 00:12:08,267
Anyway, I'm on the Marvel plane
right now,
307
00:12:08,365 --> 00:12:10,936
headed to a huge fan convention
in Malaysia,
308
00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:13,733
and then we go to Japan
and then I think Stockholm?
309
00:12:13,832 --> 00:12:15,474
- [scoffs]
- I don't know. I'm not sure.
310
00:12:15,572 --> 00:12:18,243
I'm basically just traveling
the world with Simu Liu.
311
00:12:18,342 --> 00:12:22,181
Wait, have you two... had sex?
312
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:24,783
Yes, we have.
He's an excellent lover.
313
00:12:24,882 --> 00:12:26,385
Plus, he's
in really good shape,
314
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,420
I think because he has
to work out every 45 minutes,
315
00:12:28,519 --> 00:12:31,456
or Marvel is legally allowed
to put him down and recast him.
316
00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,325
I can't believe this.
317
00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:36,261
But he does spend a lot of
time on the jet for his safety.
318
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,830
We haven't really
been outside in days.
319
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,665
Cool.
Anyway, yeah.
320
00:12:40,765 --> 00:12:42,367
My date's really great, too.
321
00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:45,570
Yeah, he's a really sweet,
salt-of-the-earth kind of dude.
322
00:12:45,669 --> 00:12:48,974
I should actually get back
to him, so, um, bye-bye now.
323
00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:51,043
- Bye.
- Who was that?
324
00:12:51,142 --> 00:12:54,046
- Did you tell 'em how high I am?
- Yeah, sorry.
325
00:12:54,144 --> 00:12:56,348
I really need this to work.
326
00:12:56,447 --> 00:12:59,618
So do you think that we could
maybe do something together?
327
00:12:59,716 --> 00:13:03,022
Like, maybe where I can
actually see your face?
328
00:13:03,121 --> 00:13:04,823
- Is this better?
- Fuck.
329
00:13:04,923 --> 00:13:07,059
I mean, yes.
330
00:13:07,158 --> 00:13:08,827
I told my doctor to give me
the biggest lips
331
00:13:08,926 --> 00:13:11,830
of any man
and the highest eyebrows.
332
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:14,166
And he sure did.
333
00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:16,301
Okay, okay.
Uh, this person is gay.
334
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,669
Ellen!
Uh, NPH!
335
00:13:17,768 --> 00:13:19,238
- Uh, Ben Platt!
- No.
336
00:13:19,337 --> 00:13:20,973
He's a writer.
He's an activist.
337
00:13:21,071 --> 00:13:22,141
He wrote--he wrote
"Go Tell It on the Mountain."
338
00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:23,442
- Oh, James Baldwin.
- Yes.
339
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,843
Oh, yes, that's right.
340
00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:26,178
Oh, my God. Okay.
341
00:13:26,276 --> 00:13:28,247
Uh, this queen
is a full star--
342
00:13:28,346 --> 00:13:30,950
- Ben Platt! NPH! Uh, Ellen!
- No.
343
00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:33,118
And for the last time,
not one of us put
344
00:13:33,217 --> 00:13:35,487
Ben Platt, Ellen, or NPH
in the bowl.
345
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:37,990
Okay, okay, um,
she's got great skin,
346
00:13:38,089 --> 00:13:40,926
and she's on
a bomb new Paramount+ show.
347
00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:42,962
all:
Oh, Curtis Paltrow!
348
00:13:43,061 --> 00:13:45,764
Oh, my God.
Who put me in?
349
00:13:45,863 --> 00:13:47,566
I'm blushing.
350
00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:49,068
- [alarm rings]
- Time.
351
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:51,136
Oh, yeah,
how is your show going?
352
00:13:51,235 --> 00:13:54,473
Well, um, we're shooting
episode five right now,
353
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,175
and it's good, it's good.
354
00:13:56,273 --> 00:13:58,077
Working with Ashley Tisdale
is a little tough, though,
355
00:13:58,175 --> 00:13:59,578
'cause she's not so much
a scene partner
356
00:13:59,677 --> 00:14:02,114
- as she is as a scene adversary.
- Oh, my God.
357
00:14:02,213 --> 00:14:04,549
They want me on the news
right now.
358
00:14:04,648 --> 00:14:06,051
- What?
- What?
359
00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:07,953
Yeah, yeah, to talk about
360
00:14:08,052 --> 00:14:11,556
all this
anti-gay Globby backlash.
361
00:14:11,656 --> 00:14:13,025
So dumb.
362
00:14:13,124 --> 00:14:14,593
Anyway, I should do it,
363
00:14:14,692 --> 00:14:16,761
just 'cause I don't want
to let the community down,
364
00:14:16,860 --> 00:14:20,365
since Globby has weirdly become
this queer icon or whatever.
365
00:14:20,464 --> 00:14:23,735
Yeah, I'm surprised
Globby wasn't in the bowl.
366
00:14:23,835 --> 00:14:25,304
- [laughs]
- Oh, no. God, no.
367
00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:27,206
That would have been embarrassing.
368
00:14:27,306 --> 00:14:28,307
Yeah, no.
369
00:14:28,406 --> 00:14:29,909
All right, well,
you guys keep playing.
370
00:14:30,008 --> 00:14:31,810
Um, I'm just gonna go Zoom
into the news
371
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:33,445
in the other room.
[chuckles]
372
00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:36,148
Oh, and if you guys
could keep it down
373
00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:37,983
to a whisper,
that'd be great.
374
00:14:38,082 --> 00:14:39,818
- Okay.
- Thanks.
375
00:14:39,917 --> 00:14:42,054
[door opens, closes]
376
00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:44,656
He's--he's really
a sweet guy.
377
00:14:44,755 --> 00:14:46,558
Anderson. Hello.
378
00:14:46,658 --> 00:14:49,628
[chewing loudly]
379
00:14:49,727 --> 00:14:51,263
So you like the restaurant?
380
00:14:51,362 --> 00:14:54,967
I rented out the entire place
just for the two of us.
381
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:56,335
Done.
Ha, I beat you.
382
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,602
[scoffs loudly]
383
00:14:57,702 --> 00:14:59,671
Uh, yeah.
Very cool.
384
00:14:59,769 --> 00:15:02,841
A true perk of dating
a successful businessperson
385
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:04,409
like me.
386
00:15:04,508 --> 00:15:07,446
Um, actually,
my ex was a nurse, so he--
387
00:15:07,545 --> 00:15:10,082
[blows raspberry]
A nurse is nothing.
388
00:15:10,181 --> 00:15:11,951
How much good
can one stinking nurse do?
389
00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:14,386
I'm building
hundreds of hospitals.
390
00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:17,990
Oh, you are?
That's impressive.
391
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:20,059
- Good for you.
- Yeah, in the metaverse.
392
00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:21,560
So you're not
building hospitals?
393
00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:23,462
Ooh, there's a playground
out there.
394
00:15:23,561 --> 00:15:26,365
- Quick, time me on the slide.
- What? Time you on what, now?
395
00:15:26,463 --> 00:15:27,866
I bet you I can go down it
396
00:15:27,966 --> 00:15:29,969
faster than
that stupid fucking baby!
397
00:15:30,067 --> 00:15:31,870
Yeah, I bet you can?
398
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:33,838
Sorry, are we still on a date?
399
00:15:33,937 --> 00:15:36,041
I just--I would really love it
if you could help me
400
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,938
make this even
a little more successful,
401
00:15:38,041 --> 00:15:42,214
just 'cause my mom is on a full
private jet with Simu--
402
00:15:42,313 --> 00:15:45,317
Private jet?
[scoffs] I can top that.
403
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:48,620
What?
How can you top that?
404
00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:53,292
- Oh, my God, we're in space.
- I'm the highest man alive!
405
00:15:55,627 --> 00:15:56,861
Curtis, hi.
406
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,463
Hey, it was so good
seeing you the other week,
407
00:15:58,562 --> 00:16:00,332
even though you were
mostly on the news.
408
00:16:00,430 --> 00:16:03,202
Yeah, sorry, this whole thing
has been so crazy.
409
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,403
I've barely been able to...
410
00:16:04,502 --> 00:16:06,271
both:
Come up for air. Yeah.
411
00:16:06,370 --> 00:16:08,040
Hey, listen, do you want
to get dinner
412
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,674
with me
and my friends tonight?
413
00:16:09,773 --> 00:16:11,543
You know, spend some actual
time together? I miss you.
414
00:16:11,643 --> 00:16:13,078
Um, sure, yeah.
415
00:16:13,177 --> 00:16:15,280
Uh, and then my premiere
is actually tonight.
416
00:16:15,379 --> 00:16:17,882
So, afterwards, you should
just all come to that.
417
00:16:17,982 --> 00:16:20,719
Oh, um, yeah.
Okay, sure, yeah.
418
00:16:20,818 --> 00:16:22,287
Or wait, hold on.
419
00:16:22,386 --> 00:16:24,924
Patty, how much longer
do you think this will take?
420
00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:26,491
Uh, a few hours.
421
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:29,561
I still have to add "Globby"
to the bottom.
422
00:16:29,661 --> 00:16:31,063
Damn, okay.
423
00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:33,198
Uh, Curtis, I'm actually not
gonna be able to make dinner,
424
00:16:33,297 --> 00:16:35,100
so I'll just meet you guys
at the premiere.
425
00:16:35,199 --> 00:16:36,368
- Wait, what?
- And heads up--
426
00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:38,537
Westboro is now gonna be
protesting there
427
00:16:38,635 --> 00:16:40,639
because they saw me
on the news.
428
00:16:40,737 --> 00:16:43,909
So stupid. Anyway, I will see
you guys there tonight.
429
00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:46,078
Uh, yeah, okay.
Uh, bye.
430
00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:47,879
Bye.
[line beeps]
431
00:16:47,978 --> 00:16:49,781
Sorry, I think we now have
432
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:53,052
to go to the premiere
of "Haunted Buddies 4."
433
00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:56,355
[cell phone ringing]
434
00:16:58,056 --> 00:16:59,758
- Hey, Mom!
- Oh, hi, honey.
435
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:03,023
I was just calling you to see
how all the dating is going.
436
00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:05,730
I mean,
absolutely not as good as you.
437
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:07,132
Aw.
438
00:17:07,231 --> 00:17:08,767
But hopefully tonight's guy
is better.
439
00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:11,803
How's jetting around the world
with Simu?
440
00:17:11,903 --> 00:17:13,305
Oh, I don't know.
441
00:17:13,403 --> 00:17:14,706
It was pretty fun at first,
442
00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:16,575
but now I'm kind of having
a hard time.
443
00:17:16,673 --> 00:17:18,677
I just--I don't really
know where I am
444
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,179
or when I am anymore?
445
00:17:20,278 --> 00:17:22,681
The sun just keeps rising
and setting.
446
00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:25,284
Like, I think it's tomorrow
and yesterday.
447
00:17:25,382 --> 00:17:26,718
- Ma'am.
- And I told Simu
448
00:17:26,817 --> 00:17:28,420
we could maybe eat a meal
together off the jet
449
00:17:28,519 --> 00:17:30,089
if we both wore
the prosthetics,
450
00:17:30,186 --> 00:17:32,324
but Simu said he tried that
after "Shang-Chi" came out,
451
00:17:32,423 --> 00:17:33,525
but some Marvel fans
452
00:17:33,624 --> 00:17:35,127
- still knew it was him.
- How?
453
00:17:35,226 --> 00:17:36,461
I guess one of them
had started living
454
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,297
in his walls,
so she heard the plan.
455
00:17:38,396 --> 00:17:40,499
Marvel fans
are not well, Brookie.
456
00:17:40,597 --> 00:17:42,301
Well, other than that,
it sounds great.
457
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,669
So just relax
and enjoy yourself.
458
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,506
You are insanely lucky.
459
00:17:47,605 --> 00:17:49,708
No, you're right.
You're absolutely right.
460
00:17:49,806 --> 00:17:52,945
I am lucky. I'm lucky.
Oh, I got to go, hon.
461
00:17:53,043 --> 00:17:55,780
Simu's doing a panel in Tokyo,
and our security team
462
00:17:55,879 --> 00:17:57,549
said I can go as long
as I'm completely hidden,
463
00:17:57,648 --> 00:18:00,152
so they're gonna zip me up
into a suitcase
464
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:02,521
so I can watch,
or at least listen.
465
00:18:02,619 --> 00:18:05,991
- Okay, well, have fun. Bye.
- Bye!
466
00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:09,861
And say hi to Streeter for me--
[line beeping]
467
00:18:09,961 --> 00:18:11,196
- [sighs]
- Ready?
468
00:18:11,295 --> 00:18:13,093
[zipper opens]
[laughter]
469
00:18:13,197 --> 00:18:15,767
[sighs]
470
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:18,470
- Brooke?
- Okay, damn.
471
00:18:18,568 --> 00:18:20,672
[chuckles]
I'm liking the look of this.
472
00:18:20,771 --> 00:18:22,274
[chuckles]
473
00:18:22,373 --> 00:18:24,276
Although, um, I know that
you're an app developer
474
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:26,946
or whatever, but you're not
a billionaire, right?
475
00:18:27,044 --> 00:18:29,109
Just stay a humble millionaire?
476
00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:32,651
[chuckles]
Yes, I'm just a millionaire.
477
00:18:32,749 --> 00:18:35,554
Okay. Whew!
[both laugh]
478
00:18:35,653 --> 00:18:38,357
But not
just one million, right?
479
00:18:38,456 --> 00:18:40,392
No, I have
more than one million.
480
00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:42,327
Okay, cool.
[chuckles]
481
00:18:42,426 --> 00:18:43,728
Not to be rude, it's just...
482
00:18:43,827 --> 00:18:45,164
both:
Having only a million dollars
483
00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,466
is actually kind of poor.
484
00:18:47,565 --> 00:18:49,768
- What?
- Okay, jinx.
485
00:18:49,866 --> 00:18:52,271
[both chuckle]
Now you have to buy me a Coke.
486
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,805
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Over here. Over here.
487
00:18:53,904 --> 00:18:56,541
You know, I have to say,
this is a historic night.
488
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,410
We at GLAAD are just so excited
489
00:18:58,509 --> 00:19:02,314
to see Disney's first-ever
unapologetically gay scene.
490
00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:05,317
And we are here
to demand that scene
491
00:19:05,416 --> 00:19:07,452
- be taken out of the movie!
- Yeah!
492
00:19:07,551 --> 00:19:08,720
[together, chanting]
Take it out!
493
00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:10,422
[together, chanting]
Leave it in!
494
00:19:10,521 --> 00:19:12,691
- Take it out!
- Leave it in!
495
00:19:12,790 --> 00:19:15,460
Oh, God.
Where are they?
496
00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:17,362
- [exhales sharply]
- Hey.
497
00:19:17,461 --> 00:19:18,597
Oh, great.
There you are!
498
00:19:18,697 --> 00:19:20,232
- Yeah.
- You're late.
499
00:19:20,331 --> 00:19:21,633
Yeah, that's because
you just added this
500
00:19:21,732 --> 00:19:23,268
to our
already-scheduled dinner.
501
00:19:23,367 --> 00:19:26,238
Uh, sorry, we know,
but we're here now.
502
00:19:26,337 --> 00:19:27,739
Okay, are you guys ready
to step
503
00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:29,841
into an absolute inferno?
Let's hold hands.
504
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:33,045
Wait, I'm--I'm sorry.
Are we walking the red carpet?
505
00:19:33,143 --> 00:19:35,647
Yes! Hello, Globby Nation!
506
00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:38,617
Uh, me and my friends
are here to say
507
00:19:38,715 --> 00:19:42,121
that we are not afraid
of today's protests
508
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:45,590
because we are
all strong, gay men.
509
00:19:45,689 --> 00:19:48,060
- I'm actually bi.
- Uh, I don't use gay.
510
00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:49,461
Shh, I got this.
511
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,563
Okay, let's all get in
for a pic and say,
512
00:19:51,662 --> 00:19:55,195
"We're here, we're queer,
we're Globby!"
513
00:19:55,299 --> 00:19:57,236
[chuckles]
Great.
514
00:19:57,334 --> 00:19:58,703
Okay, please head inside.
515
00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,405
The premiere
will begin shortly.
516
00:20:00,504 --> 00:20:02,441
All right,
time to watch history be made.
517
00:20:02,539 --> 00:20:05,044
- [chuckles]
- Jesus Christ.
518
00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:06,745
- Take it out!
- Hi.
519
00:20:06,844 --> 00:20:08,647
And, yeah, I mean,
I did just get
520
00:20:08,746 --> 00:20:11,750
out of a ten-year relationship
that ravaged me emotionally.
521
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:12,751
- But...
- Hmm.
522
00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:15,454
Now I am single
and loving it.
523
00:20:15,553 --> 00:20:17,056
[chuckles]
And I got to say--
524
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:19,291
I really love how both
your lips touch when you chew.
525
00:20:19,389 --> 00:20:21,693
It has been very clutch, visually.
526
00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,223
[chuckles]
Thank you?
527
00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:24,829
I was actually
at this same restaurant
528
00:20:24,929 --> 00:20:26,731
a week ago
with a full billionaire,
529
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:28,934
and his lips looked like
two fat slugs
530
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,369
had fallen asleep on his face.
531
00:20:30,467 --> 00:20:34,506
And he took me to outer space?
It was not good.
532
00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:36,008
Uh, what's
with these billionaires?
533
00:20:36,107 --> 00:20:38,477
It's like the split second
they get all that money,
534
00:20:38,575 --> 00:20:39,811
their brain just seeps
out of their skull?
535
00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:42,314
I think that's
literally what happens.
536
00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:43,748
[both laugh]
537
00:20:43,848 --> 00:20:46,351
So, yes,
I am glad you are not one.
538
00:20:46,450 --> 00:20:48,287
[cell phone ringing]
539
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,090
Oh, that's work calling,
which is weird.
540
00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:52,357
I don't need to take it.
541
00:20:52,456 --> 00:20:53,758
No, go ahead.
It's fine.
542
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:54,893
Yeah?
543
00:20:54,992 --> 00:20:56,395
And I will head
to the little girls' room
544
00:20:56,494 --> 00:20:58,430
to freshen up,
so we can move this back
545
00:20:58,529 --> 00:21:02,301
to your place?
[both chuckle]
546
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,535
Hello?
547
00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:07,806
- [Muzak playing]
- [humming along]
548
00:21:07,904 --> 00:21:10,542
Wait, what's that? What are
you--what are you saying, Ted?
549
00:21:10,641 --> 00:21:14,113
Ah. Ma, ma, ma.
[lips popping]
550
00:21:14,212 --> 00:21:16,781
Oh, my God.
Our app sold?
551
00:21:16,881 --> 00:21:19,884
Our app just fully sold?
Right this sec--
552
00:21:19,984 --> 00:21:23,923
Okay,
back to my millionaire I go.
553
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:24,924
Hmm.
554
00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:26,125
Hi.
555
00:21:26,223 --> 00:21:28,660
[chuckles]
Hmm.
556
00:21:28,759 --> 00:21:32,397
- Wait, where did--
- Yes! Look how high I am!
557
00:21:32,496 --> 00:21:34,399
Wait.
What the fuck is going on?
558
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:35,700
I'm a billionaire, baby.
559
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,169
- What?
- Fuck, yes!
560
00:21:37,268 --> 00:21:38,470
Since when?
561
00:21:38,569 --> 00:21:40,539
And how do you already
have lip filler?
562
00:21:40,637 --> 00:21:43,408
- I'm so confused.
- No, I'm confused.
563
00:21:43,507 --> 00:21:45,344
Oh, my God,
we're not going back
564
00:21:45,443 --> 00:21:46,745
to your place anymore now,
are we?
565
00:21:46,844 --> 00:21:48,847
No, we're going somewhere
even better.
566
00:21:48,947 --> 00:21:49,848
We're going to--
567
00:21:49,948 --> 00:21:51,883
I'm in space!
568
00:21:51,983 --> 00:21:54,586
[sighs]
My fucking God.
569
00:21:54,685 --> 00:21:56,355
It's worse
than we feared, Vampira!
570
00:21:56,453 --> 00:21:58,857
We must hurry. His weapon
will soon be fully powered.
571
00:21:58,956 --> 00:22:01,560
- We are running out of time.
- I'll round up the others.
572
00:22:01,658 --> 00:22:03,795
Okay, here it comes.
It's right after this.
573
00:22:03,895 --> 00:22:07,199
- [howls]
- [snores]
574
00:22:07,297 --> 00:22:09,902
Globby, let's go.
We're late for the mission.
575
00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:11,736
Okay.
576
00:22:13,637 --> 00:22:15,975
Oh, wow.
[chuckles]
577
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:18,043
That's Professor Sinister's
castle there!
578
00:22:18,142 --> 00:22:20,279
Okay, tell me when.
So excited to see!
579
00:22:20,377 --> 00:22:21,914
Yeah, tell me when! Eeeeh!
580
00:22:22,012 --> 00:22:25,084
What do you mean?
That--that was it.
581
00:22:25,182 --> 00:22:26,618
Were you not watching?
582
00:22:26,717 --> 00:22:27,953
Wait.
What did he say?
583
00:22:28,052 --> 00:22:30,755
- He said that was it.
- What was it?
584
00:22:30,854 --> 00:22:34,493
He said it already happened.
But when? And, also, where?
585
00:22:34,591 --> 00:22:35,827
I think he said
it was before this
586
00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:37,462
Yeah, he said
it already happened.
587
00:22:37,561 --> 00:22:38,964
- Cary said it happened.
- He said it happened.
588
00:22:39,062 --> 00:22:42,001
Wait, uh, Cary,
I'm hearing the scene happened?
589
00:22:42,094 --> 00:22:43,602
What was it?
Sorry.
590
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,437
We just want to tell people
we support it!
591
00:22:45,536 --> 00:22:47,539
Wait, shit,
we missed the scene?
592
00:22:47,638 --> 00:22:49,241
We all wanted
to throw eggs at it!
593
00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:51,310
Shh, the movie's
still happening.
594
00:22:51,409 --> 00:22:53,478
- Yeah, be quiet.
- Yeah.
595
00:22:53,577 --> 00:22:55,447
- No, wait, can we pause it?
- What?
596
00:22:55,545 --> 00:22:56,848
I want to get
to the bottom of this!
597
00:22:56,947 --> 00:22:58,650
Yeah, maybe let's bring up
the lights?
598
00:22:58,749 --> 00:23:00,953
- I-I'm just so confused.
- Yeah, bring up the lights.
599
00:23:01,050 --> 00:23:03,822
- [lights thud]
- Sorry, uh, help me out, Car!
600
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,386
Where was
the unapologetically gay scene
601
00:23:06,490 --> 00:23:07,960
you've been telling
press about?
602
00:23:08,059 --> 00:23:09,261
- Yes, where is the scene?
- Uh...
603
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:10,595
Yeah, where is the scene?
604
00:23:10,694 --> 00:23:12,664
I mean, I-I don't know
what else to say.
605
00:23:12,764 --> 00:23:14,633
[scoffs]
It was right there--
606
00:23:14,731 --> 00:23:17,502
the two gay globs
in bed together.
607
00:23:17,602 --> 00:23:19,138
That was it?
608
00:23:19,236 --> 00:23:21,206
Uh, how are we supposed
to know they were gay?
609
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,874
Nothing about the scene
was gay.
610
00:23:22,974 --> 00:23:23,808
Yeah-huh.
611
00:23:23,908 --> 00:23:25,444
I mean, if Globby was straight,
612
00:23:25,537 --> 00:23:27,079
he would have been in bed
with a human woman.
613
00:23:27,178 --> 00:23:30,410
What? That--that's,
like, glob logic
614
00:23:30,514 --> 00:23:32,317
that none of us
could possibly know.
615
00:23:32,411 --> 00:23:35,087
Wait, so you're saying
in this universe,
616
00:23:35,185 --> 00:23:37,656
straight globs are attracted
to human women,
617
00:23:37,754 --> 00:23:41,693
and gay globs
are attracted to other globs?
618
00:23:43,627 --> 00:23:45,530
Yes?
[audience groans]
619
00:23:45,629 --> 00:23:46,999
So how are glob babies made?
620
00:23:47,097 --> 00:23:50,535
A straight glob has sex
with a human woman,
621
00:23:50,634 --> 00:23:52,537
and that makes a baby glob?
622
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:55,107
But wouldn't that be
a half-human-half-glob?
623
00:23:55,206 --> 00:23:57,242
- How are full globs made?
- Oh, yeah, good call.
624
00:23:57,341 --> 00:23:58,710
- Well...
- You know what?
625
00:23:58,809 --> 00:24:00,545
If you guys want to take
the scene out, it's fine.
626
00:24:00,644 --> 00:24:02,514
No, dude,
you can totally leave it in.
627
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:05,084
- Sorry we got so riled up.
- It's not your fault.
628
00:24:05,181 --> 00:24:07,719
Uh, there--uh, there was
actually more to the scene.
629
00:24:07,819 --> 00:24:09,088
- Oh.
- Shh, shh, shh.
630
00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:12,391
But Disney, um...
they cut it.
631
00:24:12,490 --> 00:24:14,059
- Oh.
- Oh. Oh, okay, then.
632
00:24:14,158 --> 00:24:15,455
- Oh, my God.
- That makes sense.
633
00:24:15,559 --> 00:24:17,562
Disney does suck.
What was cut?
634
00:24:17,661 --> 00:24:20,199
- Yeah, what, what was cut?
- Uh...
635
00:24:21,098 --> 00:24:26,571
My glob, um...
sucked the other glob's dick?
636
00:24:26,671 --> 00:24:27,839
- What?
- No.
637
00:24:27,939 --> 00:24:29,541
- What?
- In a kids' movie?
638
00:24:29,639 --> 00:24:31,510
No, I'm joking.
I'm joking.
639
00:24:31,608 --> 00:24:34,879
Uh, but, uh,
what was cut was, um...
640
00:24:34,979 --> 00:24:36,781
- So...
- All right, you know what?
641
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,851
Um, you guys must be famished
from all that protesting,
642
00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:43,155
so what do you say
you all go get dinner?
643
00:24:43,253 --> 00:24:44,856
I mean, I could eat.
644
00:24:44,956 --> 00:24:46,458
- You like pizza?
- Yeah.
645
00:24:46,557 --> 00:24:48,327
Hey, I'm--I'm Mark,
by the way.
646
00:24:48,425 --> 00:24:49,828
Hey, I'm Terry.
647
00:24:49,927 --> 00:24:51,563
Ladies and gentlemen,
please be patient.
648
00:24:51,662 --> 00:24:52,864
We will have the--
649
00:24:52,964 --> 00:24:54,766
Oh, my God.
This is so embarrassing.
650
00:24:54,866 --> 00:24:56,135
That was so funny.
651
00:24:56,233 --> 00:24:59,972
Okay, great.
That's 48 and 49--
652
00:25:00,070 --> 00:25:04,109
Ooh, we're right above Ohio,
where I used to live.
653
00:25:04,208 --> 00:25:06,811
Yuck.
So lucky you got out of there.
654
00:25:06,910 --> 00:25:08,580
- [intercom chimes]
- Okay, Simu.
655
00:25:08,678 --> 00:25:10,749
We'll be landing in Chicago
for your next panel soon.
656
00:25:10,849 --> 00:25:12,451
Pat, if you want to watch,
657
00:25:12,550 --> 00:25:14,786
you should zip into
your suitcase in the next ten.
658
00:25:14,885 --> 00:25:17,089
- [intercom chimes]
- Oh, okay.
659
00:25:21,859 --> 00:25:24,563
Ooh, look,
a rocket heading back to Earth!
660
00:25:24,663 --> 00:25:26,598
I wonder who's on that.
661
00:25:26,697 --> 00:25:29,834
Yeah! I did it!
I was so high!
662
00:25:29,933 --> 00:25:33,973
I am better than all other men!
Me am the most man!
663
00:25:34,071 --> 00:25:36,708
Oh, my God, shut the fuck up!
664
00:25:36,807 --> 00:25:40,145
I cannot believe
I have been to full space
665
00:25:40,244 --> 00:25:42,014
twice in one week!
666
00:25:42,113 --> 00:25:46,585
Like,
what the actual fuck, dude?
667
00:25:46,678 --> 00:25:48,988
You stupid men
just get a shit ton of money
668
00:25:49,087 --> 00:25:50,822
and pop on a little cowboy hat
669
00:25:50,921 --> 00:25:52,925
and ride a dentist's chair
to space?
670
00:25:53,024 --> 00:25:55,194
Like, what is this for?
671
00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:57,296
Like, you don't have to do
as much good as a nurse
672
00:25:57,395 --> 00:26:01,666
or whatever, but, uh, my God,
y'all just do no good?
673
00:26:01,766 --> 00:26:03,335
I do good.
674
00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:05,670
I've already drawn up plans
to build dozens of schools.
675
00:26:05,769 --> 00:26:07,772
- Oh, you have?
- Yeah, in the metaverse.
676
00:26:07,872 --> 00:26:09,341
Jesus Christ!
677
00:26:09,439 --> 00:26:12,144
Ugh! You all just have
all the money and the power,
678
00:26:12,243 --> 00:26:14,346
and you do nothing.
679
00:26:14,444 --> 00:26:16,881
You do nothing.
680
00:26:16,981 --> 00:26:19,851
- And aren't you like me?
- God...
681
00:26:19,951 --> 00:26:22,754
I mean, I thought so,
but clearly not!
682
00:26:22,854 --> 00:26:24,123
No, I mean,
you're a manager.
683
00:26:24,221 --> 00:26:26,025
You represent Pat Dubek
and ChaseDreams.
684
00:26:26,122 --> 00:26:28,327
Don't they have, like,
a billion dollars together?
685
00:26:28,426 --> 00:26:31,330
Yeah, I mean,
they probably do, but--
686
00:26:31,428 --> 00:26:32,592
And you represent them,
687
00:26:32,696 --> 00:26:34,333
which means
that you have power,
688
00:26:34,431 --> 00:26:36,701
and you have access
to their money and power.
689
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,338
So what are you doing
with all of it?
690
00:26:41,172 --> 00:26:42,774
Oh, my God.
691
00:26:42,873 --> 00:26:45,577
I didn't need to leave
the industry to do good.
692
00:26:45,676 --> 00:26:50,082
I can do good
using the industry.
693
00:26:50,181 --> 00:26:51,550
[gasps]
694
00:26:51,649 --> 00:26:53,919
[ship rattling]
695
00:26:54,018 --> 00:26:55,754
[line beeping, trilling]
696
00:26:55,853 --> 00:26:57,923
- Hello?
- Shuli? It's Brooke.
697
00:26:58,021 --> 00:27:00,025
You are not gonna believe this,
but a straight man
698
00:27:00,124 --> 00:27:01,793
actually just
taught me something,
699
00:27:01,886 --> 00:27:04,329
and I think I might be ready
to come back to work.
700
00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:05,830
- Oh, good.
- Yep.
701
00:27:05,929 --> 00:27:08,667
Starting tomorrow,
I am going to revolutionize
702
00:27:08,766 --> 00:27:10,669
the entire industry.
703
00:27:10,769 --> 00:27:14,940
I am going to use my power...
704
00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:16,108
for good.
705
00:27:16,206 --> 00:27:18,610
I mean,
if you need more time--
706
00:27:18,710 --> 00:27:21,613
[upbeat music]
707
00:27:21,713 --> 00:27:23,282
♪ ♪
708
00:27:25,617 --> 00:27:27,286
[indistinct chatter]
709
00:27:27,385 --> 00:27:29,154
Fuck.
710
00:27:29,253 --> 00:27:31,423
Cary, hold--hold up. Wait.
711
00:27:31,522 --> 00:27:32,925
[scoffs]
712
00:27:33,024 --> 00:27:35,627
Are--are you okay?
713
00:27:35,726 --> 00:27:38,030
What?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
714
00:27:38,128 --> 00:27:41,000
You know, they really did cut
more gay stuff from the movie.
715
00:27:41,097 --> 00:27:43,435
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, I'm sure they did.
716
00:27:43,534 --> 00:27:46,638
Oh, my God, wait,
did Westboro still egg you?
717
00:27:46,736 --> 00:27:48,873
- Oh, no, GLAAD did.
- Oof.
718
00:27:48,973 --> 00:27:50,409
Yeah.
[chuckles]
719
00:27:50,507 --> 00:27:53,745
Um, hey, would you want
to get a drink?
720
00:27:53,844 --> 00:27:56,015
I feel like
it would be good to talk.
721
00:27:56,114 --> 00:27:57,950
Oh, thanks,
but I'm--I'm tired.
722
00:27:58,049 --> 00:28:00,785
I think I'm just gonna
head home, pass out.
723
00:28:00,885 --> 00:28:03,455
Yeah.
Uh, okay.
724
00:28:03,554 --> 00:28:05,925
- Good night, Cary.
- Night.
725
00:28:08,727 --> 00:28:12,097
Oh, my God, my jacket.
726
00:28:12,196 --> 00:28:13,966
You know,
it's actually better
727
00:28:14,065 --> 00:28:16,135
that you can't tell
that Globby's gay
728
00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:19,238
because his sexuality
is beside the point on purpose.
729
00:28:19,336 --> 00:28:21,806
And, uh, if you just give me
one more press cycle,
730
00:28:21,906 --> 00:28:23,475
I can explain how.
731
00:28:23,574 --> 00:28:25,177
- Yeah.
- God.
732
00:28:25,276 --> 00:28:27,346
{\an8}[The MIDI Mafia's
"I Hope You Hear Me"]
733
00:28:27,439 --> 00:28:29,814
{\an8}I hope they hear me.
734
00:28:29,914 --> 00:28:31,650
{\an8}I hope they hear me.
735
00:28:31,749 --> 00:28:36,821
{\an8}♪ ♪
736
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,658
{\an8}- Ugh, it's too late.
- Too late.
737
00:28:39,757 --> 00:28:42,995
{\an8}- It's too late.
- Yeah, yeah.
738
00:28:43,093 --> 00:28:45,297
{\an8}- ♪ Whoo, keepin' my freak,
keep dreamin' ♪
739
00:28:45,394 --> 00:28:48,300
{\an8}♪ They gonna keep thievin',
they gonna keep schemin' ♪
740
00:28:48,397 --> 00:28:51,470
{\an8}♪ But this don't never stop,
it's a lifestyle, homey ♪
741
00:28:51,568 --> 00:28:54,306
{\an8}♪ Lifestyle, homey,
but for those who know me ♪
742
00:28:54,405 --> 00:28:56,108
{\an8}♪ This don't never stop ♪
743
00:28:56,207 --> 00:28:58,177
{\an8}♪ The time is now,
it's about to go down ♪
744
00:28:58,275 --> 00:29:00,012
{\an8}♪ You better duck
when you hear that sound ♪
745
00:29:00,110 --> 00:29:01,646
{\an8}♪ Boom, 'cause this
don't never stop ♪
746
00:29:01,745 --> 00:29:03,482
{\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪
747
00:29:03,581 --> 00:29:05,684
{\an8}- ♪ I hope you with me ♪
- ♪ Uh-huh ♪
748
00:29:05,783 --> 00:29:12,992
{\an8}♪ ♪