1
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,466
<i>My name is Sebastian.
And, yeah, that's me.</i>

2
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,252
<i>When my mother used
to dress me for pre-school,</i>

3
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:38,429
<i>like I was going to Studio 54.</i>

4
00:00:38,429 --> 00:00:42,476
<i>Like most American stories,
mine starts a long time ago</i>

5
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,695
<i>on another continent.</i>

6
00:00:44,913 --> 00:00:49,135
<i>Specifically,
the magical island of Sicilia.</i>

7
00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,486
<i>A lot of folks
like to call Sicily</i>

8
00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:54,923
<i>the big ball in front
of the boot of Italy,</i>

9
00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:56,360
<i>which makes sense</i>

10
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:57,926
<i>'cause the world's been
trying to kick our ass</i>

11
00:00:57,926 --> 00:01:00,015
<i>since the dawn of time.</i>

12
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,410
<i>For generations,
my people have been</i>

13
00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:05,586
<i>threatened by wars,</i>

14
00:01:05,586 --> 00:01:07,110
<i>volcanoes,</i>

15
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:10,113
<i>and testicle-crushing Speedos.</i>

16
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,811
<i>But we survived it all</i>

17
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:15,379
<i>through one unstoppable force.</i>

18
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:17,511
<i>Family.</i>

19
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:22,299
<i>These are actual photos
of my Sicilian ancestors.</i>

20
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,258
<i>Note the signature
Maniscalco look.</i>

21
00:01:25,258 --> 00:01:29,349
<i>With the curved spines
and the resting bitch face,</i>

22
00:01:29,349 --> 00:01:32,744
<i>like a bunch
of pissed-off candy canes.</i>

23
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:35,181
<i>Over the past few centuries,</i>

24
00:01:35,181 --> 00:01:40,186
<i>these proud hunchback men
have operated with one goal.</i>

25
00:01:40,186 --> 00:01:41,492
<i>Do everything you can...</i>

26
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,233
<i>...to give your kids
a better life</i>

27
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,104
<i>than the one you had.</i>

28
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:47,193
<i>For my father,
this meant leaving</i>

29
00:01:47,193 --> 00:01:49,717
<i>his beloved Sicily
for Chicago.</i>

30
00:01:49,717 --> 00:01:52,067
<i>So he and my mother could
give me opportunities</i>

31
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:53,156
<i>they never got.</i>

32
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:55,506
<i>Like shoveling snow.</i>

33
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:58,770
<i>Growing a beautiful mullet.</i>

34
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:00,250
<i>And going to the prom</i>

35
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,773
<i>looking like a pit boss.</i>

36
00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,255
<i>Growing up,
my father busted his hump</i>

37
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,257
<i>to instill in me certain rules</i>

38
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,911
<i>of how a man should operate.</i>

39
00:02:09,911 --> 00:02:13,263
<i>Like, if you're awake,
you should be workin'.</i>

40
00:02:13,263 --> 00:02:14,786
Hey, how's
the pressure,
Mrs. Marinelli?

41
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,483
Harder.

42
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:18,006
You got to get in there, son.
I don't pay you by the hour,

43
00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:19,530
I pay you
by the moan, capisce?

44
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,534
<i>Guy
with the ponytail,</i>

45
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:24,970
<i>that's my dad.</i>

46
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,407
<i>Did I mention he owns a salon?</i>

47
00:02:27,407 --> 00:02:30,889
<i>The man comes from a long line
of Sicilian hairstylists.</i>

48
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:33,065
<i>And don't you dare
call him a barber.</i>

49
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:35,372
<i>This man doesn't
just cut hair,</i>

50
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,548
<i>he creates styles.</i>

51
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:39,550
Salvo,

52
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:40,942
it's beautiful.

53
00:02:40,942 --> 00:02:42,944
See? I told you
you had cheekbones
under there.

54
00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:45,469
You just needed Michelangelo
to dig them out.

55
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:48,167
<i>Child labor laws
were definitely broken.</i>

56
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,473
<i>But on the bright side,</i>

57
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:52,215
<i>I had the most realistic
Chewbacca costume</i>

58
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,042
<i>in the history of Halloween.</i>

59
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,960
<i>He taught me
to always save your money.</i>

60
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,527
No apps, no dessert.

61
00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:01,876
And if you don't
finish your main,

62
00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:03,661
you're paying
for your own
birthday dinner.

63
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,493
<i>And to be resourceful.</i>

64
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,929
You wanted me
to buy you
a skateboard,

65
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,322
I built you
one instead.

66
00:03:14,149 --> 00:03:15,150
Next year,
I'm gonna
build you

67
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:17,240
one of those Nintendos.

68
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,372
<i>But one exception, cologne.</i>

69
00:03:19,372 --> 00:03:23,420
<i>Never cheap out
on your signature scent.</i>

70
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,945
<i>At bedtime, our house smelled
like an Uber in Las Vegas.</i>

71
00:03:30,296 --> 00:03:32,777
<i>The only time I saw
my father smile is</i>

72
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,039
<i>when we did
the chicken dance</i>

73
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,127
<i>for my mother.</i>

74
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:40,045
<i>To me, this man was a God.</i>

75
00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,744
<i>And it was all
working out great</i>

76
00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,616
<i>until I grew up,</i>

77
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:49,750
<i>and fell for someone
who was my complete opposite.</i>

78
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:52,275
<i>Her name was Ellie.</i>

79
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,582
<i>I mean, look at this girl.</i>

80
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:59,760
<i>The style, the positivity,</i>

81
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,893
<i>personality.</i>

82
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,765
<i>Yeah, this was my dream woman.</i>

83
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,292
Sebastian!

84
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,947
Ah! I'm so sorry
I'm late.

85
00:04:12,947 --> 00:04:15,385
This guy's charging
$15 for valet.

86
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,169
So I parked it
nine blocks away.

87
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:19,084
Wait a minute,
if you parked
that far away,

88
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:21,086
how are you so dry?
You sweat just
getting the mail.

89
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:23,262
It's the Fendi, babe.

90
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:25,395
It's wicking away.

91
00:04:26,439 --> 00:04:28,093
- You want one?
- Yeah.

92
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,529
You know,
everyone said
I should serve

93
00:04:29,529 --> 00:04:31,792
fancy food
at my opening,
and I was like,

94
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:36,580
"Name one person
that doesn't like
a hot dog."

95
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,322
<i>And get this, she's an artist.</i>

96
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,062
<i>I mean, growing up,
I wasn't even allowed</i>

97
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:42,586
<i>to do it as a hobby.</i>

98
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:43,674
So how's
the show going?

99
00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:46,111
Oh, my God!
Freaking amazing.

100
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,156
All my pieces sold out
in like 15 minutes.

101
00:04:48,156 --> 00:04:50,637
- Babe, that's incredible.
- I know, right?

102
00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:53,031
I mean, most of them went
to this big decorator,

103
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:56,339
but they have clients
all over the world,
so I'm not complaining.

104
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:57,949
Well, you shouldn't.

105
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,777
Especially because they look,
kind of like, you know...

106
00:05:00,908 --> 00:05:02,475
Vaginas?

107
00:05:02,475 --> 00:05:05,609
Well, you know,
if you just hang
them horizontally,

108
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:09,700
they kind of look
like sunsets.

109
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,092
Oh, yeah.

110
00:05:11,092 --> 00:05:12,355
Right.

111
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,704
<i>Since the day I met her,</i>

112
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,358
<i>she's been opening my eyes</i>

113
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,143
<i>to all kinds
of new experiences.</i>

114
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,536
<i>Like naps.</i>

115
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,451
Weird.

116
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,801
The sun's coming
through the drapes.

117
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,455
<i>And beauty treatments.</i>

118
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,805
Hey, hot stuff.
Looking good.

119
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:28,893
Wait, are you mad?

120
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:30,373
Yeah.

121
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:32,940
That it took 42 years
to discover avocado masks.

122
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:34,899
<i>And last but not least,</i>

123
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:35,943
<i>smiling.</i>

124
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,686
Okay. Um...

125
00:05:39,686 --> 00:05:41,427
- It's not natural.
- That's...

126
00:05:41,427 --> 00:05:44,430
That's not
particularly natural.
But you know what I think?

127
00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:47,172
I think we just
have to build these
facial muscles,

128
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,695
so you just
got to practice.

129
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:50,741
Look at that.
Now try it.

130
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,438
I don't... You
look great.

131
00:05:55,528 --> 00:05:58,749
<i>Yeah, life
with Ellie was pretty perfect.</i>

132
00:06:01,969 --> 00:06:03,318
I don't think
I could participate.

133
00:06:03,318 --> 00:06:04,494
That's just ridiculous.

134
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,973
- You promised.
- Oh, come on!

135
00:06:05,973 --> 00:06:08,802
A public wedding
proposal? It's
embarrassing.

136
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,369
I think
it's sweet.

137
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,153
When I propose
to you,

138
00:06:12,153 --> 00:06:13,590
it's going
to be intimate.

139
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,156
- Hmm.
- Just you and me,

140
00:06:15,156 --> 00:06:16,506
the way
it should be.

141
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,159
- Hmm.
- No one else.

142
00:06:18,159 --> 00:06:20,031
Used to be,
"If I propose."

143
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:21,859
You just said,
"When I propose."

144
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,774
Okay, babe,
it's just...
I'm aggravated.

145
00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,863
Words are just
flying out
of my mouth.

146
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:26,951
Well, just
so you know,

147
00:06:26,951 --> 00:06:29,214
the only way
I will say yes,

148
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:30,650
is if there is
some element

149
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:32,347
of public
humiliation involved.

150
00:06:32,347 --> 00:06:33,914
- Oh, well.
- Get ready.

151
00:06:33,914 --> 00:06:35,873
You might as well just end
the relationship right now,

152
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,223
because we ain't
- doing that.
- Oh, we're not?

153
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,572
I'm not
- doing this.
- But you're

154
00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:41,095
- such a good dancer.
- Look at these people.

155
00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:44,403
Uh, Ellie?
I kind of need
your help right now.

156
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:47,014
Right, dude,
we are in!

157
00:06:52,498 --> 00:06:55,153
<i>The truth was,
I had every intention</i>

158
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:57,155
<i>of asking Ellie to marry me.</i>

159
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:02,465
<i>I just needed
the right place and time.</i>

160
00:07:06,512 --> 00:07:07,731
I see you, guy.

161
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,733
I see you.

162
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,387
All right? Pick it up.

163
00:07:12,387 --> 00:07:14,999
Thank you.
- Take a walk.
Sebastian.

164
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,001
I'm on the phone
with my parents
and get this,

165
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,570
they're inviting us

166
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:22,746
out to the summer place

167
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,313
for the big
4th-of-July weekend.

168
00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:27,707
Babe, did you
- just say "us"?
- Us.

169
00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:29,013
I thought this trip
was for family only.

170
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,015
I know! I mean,
I'm so torn

171
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,104
between thinking
this is great news,

172
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,192
or that I might be
dragging you

173
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,150
into an Italian version
of <i>Get Out.</i>

174
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,848
I'm not sure. Oh, uh, uh...

175
00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:40,894
Yes, yes, yes,
Mother, yes. I'm
asking him right now,

176
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,330
please hold.

177
00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:43,636
What do you think?

178
00:07:46,987 --> 00:07:49,773
Yeah.

179
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,123
He's man-crying.
That means it's a yes.

180
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,951
- Yes!
- I love you.

181
00:07:54,734 --> 00:07:55,953
I'm gonna
get you tissues.

182
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,608
I love you.
I'm so excited.

183
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,567
<i>So, yeah,
I'm a big crier.</i>

184
00:08:01,567 --> 00:08:04,657
<i>I love to just marinate
in my own tears.</i>

185
00:08:04,657 --> 00:08:05,963
Mmm.

186
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,965
<i>But this was a huge deal.</i>

187
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:12,709
<i>Ellie's summer place wasn't
just the perfect spot</i>

188
00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,275
<i>to propose.</i>

189
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:17,757
<i>It also meant her family was
starting to accept me.</i>

190
00:08:17,757 --> 00:08:20,325
<i>Which was amazing, because...</i>

191
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,588
<i>How do I put this eloquently?</i>

192
00:08:22,588 --> 00:08:27,462
<i>These people got
class up the ass.</i>

193
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:34,339
<i>I mean, look at these people
with their perfect postures,</i>

194
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,559
<i>and their perfect teeth.</i>

195
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,604
<i>Even their dog went
to better schools</i>

196
00:08:38,604 --> 00:08:40,084
<i>than I did.</i>

197
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,476
<i>I was intimidated,</i>

198
00:08:41,476 --> 00:08:43,217
<i>which really didn't
make any sense</i>

199
00:08:43,217 --> 00:08:47,874
<i>as their story was also
an immigrant story.</i>

200
00:08:47,874 --> 00:08:52,183
<i>For some reason, theirs was
considered more respectable,</i>

201
00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,751
<i>as it started 400 years ago.</i>

202
00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,796
<i>Now, this is
an actual painting</i>

203
00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:59,103
<i>of Ellie's
10th great grandfather,</i>

204
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:03,150
<i>William Love Collins,
taking his family to America,</i>

205
00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:06,371
<i>on a little boat called
the</i> Mayflower.

206
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:09,200
<i>You got it. That one.</i>

207
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,638
<i>So while my father came
to chase the American dream,</i>

208
00:09:12,638 --> 00:09:15,728
<i>the Collins were
the American dream,</i>

209
00:09:15,728 --> 00:09:18,122
<i>all the way
up to Ellie's dad.</i>

210
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,777
<i>William Love Collins XII.</i>

211
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,474
<i>Only Italian guys I knew</i>

212
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,607
<i>with Roman numerals
after their names...</i>

213
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,304
<i>...are popes,</i>

214
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:29,263
<i>and Rocky Balboa.</i>

215
00:09:29,263 --> 00:09:31,135
<i>Her dad is
the chairman and CEO</i>

216
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,572
<i>of the luxurious
Collins Hotel Group,</i>

217
00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:35,052
<i>which was awkward,</i>

218
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,750
<i>as I happened to run
a cool new boutique hotel,</i>

219
00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:40,231
<i>which was stealing
a lot of his Chicago business.</i>

220
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,233
<i>Bottom line?</i>

221
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:45,671
<i>His baby girl was
dating the enemy.</i>

222
00:09:45,671 --> 00:09:49,022
<i>But Bill wasn't even
the scary parent.</i>

223
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,590
<i>That honor belonged
to Ellie's mother,</i>

224
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:56,464
<i>whose actual birth name
was Tigger MacArthur.</i>

225
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:59,729
Anna, darling,
you don't know
anything about me.

226
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,296
<i>And this kitty's got claws.</i>

227
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:04,385
<i>As an Ivy League
grad-turned-senator</i>

228
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:05,865
<i>for the state of Maryland,</i>

229
00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:07,911
<i>it took her a long time</i>

230
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:11,392
<i>to wrap her mind around
her beloved daughter dating</i>

231
00:10:11,392 --> 00:10:14,308
<i>some working-class
hotel manager.</i>

232
00:10:14,308 --> 00:10:16,702
How could I be
anti-immigrant

233
00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:19,879
when my daughter is
dating the son of one?

234
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,447
<i>But this invite meant</i>

235
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:25,363
<i>I was finally
breaking through.</i>

236
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,974
<i>A holiday weekend was
my chance to charm</i>

237
00:10:27,974 --> 00:10:30,585
<i>the pleated pants
off these people.</i>

238
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,936
<i>And if all went well,</i>

239
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:36,069
<i>I could ask
for their daughter's
hand in marriage.</i>

240
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,857
<i>So, I had the girl
I wanted to marry,</i>

241
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,686
<i>the perfect spot
to propose to her,</i>

242
00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:46,384
<i>and now,
I just needed the ring,</i>

243
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,691
<i>which should have
been easy to get.</i>

244
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,779
Oh, come on. What do you mean

245
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,563
you're not gonna
give me the ring?

246
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,652
Grandma left it for me
to use when I'm ready
to get married.

247
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:55,393
Uh, your grandmother
left it with me

248
00:10:55,393 --> 00:10:57,003
to make sure you just
don't give it away

249
00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:59,179
to some <i>puttana,</i> that's what
your grandmother did.

250
00:10:59,179 --> 00:11:01,268
Can you come out
of the garden so
we can talk about this?

251
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:06,752
They're back.
They're back there
messing with my <i>gagootz.</i>

252
00:11:06,752 --> 00:11:08,711
Forget the <i>gagootz.</i>

253
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,800
Dad, the ring,
- can I have it?
- Look at that.

254
00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,541
You know,
I don't know
about this girl,

255
00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:15,282
I gotta tell ya.
I'm not sure
about her.

256
00:11:15,282 --> 00:11:16,980
She put her feet up
on my coffee table,

257
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,416
I don't know... You put
your feet up

258
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:19,591
on your
- coffee table.
- Yeah, my coffee table,

259
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,766
my feet.

260
00:11:20,766 --> 00:11:22,159
What do you
think is this?

261
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,509
- What bites? A raccoon?
- Ants? Is it an ant?

262
00:11:25,771 --> 00:11:27,381
An ant. You got
to to be kidding me.

263
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:30,733
Let's see.
Okay, here we are.

264
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:32,952
Look at them.
That's a possum.

265
00:11:32,952 --> 00:11:35,259
Possum. They're dead.

266
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,782
- Dead, gone.
- Oh, no. Come on,

267
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:38,784
with the thing again... Gone from this earth.

268
00:11:38,784 --> 00:11:41,047
- Instant death.
- Just set a trap.

269
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:42,527
Yeah, I'm gonna
set a trap.

270
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,224
I'm gonna get
my antifreeze,
my little...

271
00:11:44,224 --> 00:11:45,878
<i>When I was a kid,</i>

272
00:11:45,878 --> 00:11:48,402
<i>I thought everything
my dad did was normal.</i>

273
00:11:49,577 --> 00:11:51,797
<i>If some string beans
went missing,</i>

274
00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:55,061
<i>I'd wake up to a yard
full of poisoned squirrels,</i>

275
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:57,237
<i>birds, chipmunks,</i>

276
00:11:57,237 --> 00:11:58,499
<i>basically anything</i>

277
00:11:58,499 --> 00:12:00,893
<i>that ever helped
Cinderella get dressed,</i>

278
00:12:00,893 --> 00:12:03,548
<i>murdered in our backyard.</i>

279
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:05,289
Come on, Dad.
Could you just admit

280
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,421
that Ellie's not
some <i>puttana?</i>

281
00:12:07,421 --> 00:12:08,858
I love her, you love her.

282
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,643
Just give me the ring
so I can propose.

283
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:12,949
You really serious
about this?

284
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,515
Yeah, Dad,
she's the one.

285
00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:15,778
- She's the one?
- Yeah.

286
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,040
Okay, son, you know
what I'm gonna do?

287
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,563
I'm gonna give
- you the ring.
- Thank you.

288
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,783
But first I gotta
meet her family.

289
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:22,480
- What? Why?
- Why?

290
00:12:25,309 --> 00:12:27,137
-  That's why.
- What the hell
does that mean?

291
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,008
You got
no respect
for your roots.

292
00:12:29,008 --> 00:12:30,401
I mean, what are
you talking about?

293
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:31,576
You don't eat
the fruit till
you make sure

294
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:32,882
the tree ain't sick.

295
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,405
And per tradition,
I need to look

296
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:35,972
at the mother
and the father's eyes.

297
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:37,495
I need to look them
in the eyes

298
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,018
to make sure there's no rot.

299
00:12:39,018 --> 00:12:40,628
Because there could be rot.
- Not that there is.
- What?

300
00:12:40,628 --> 00:12:42,848
- But there could be.
- There's no rot
in this family, Dad.

301
00:12:42,848 --> 00:12:44,197
- You never know.
- They're classy.

302
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,982
- You never know.
- Come on, they're
classy people.

303
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,331
Oh, yeah.

304
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:48,767
The fancier,
the dirtier.

305
00:12:48,767 --> 00:12:50,073
You never know
what's going on.

306
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,770
Plus, they don't live
anywhere near here.

307
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,380
So let me just put you
on a FaceTime,

308
00:12:53,380 --> 00:12:55,208
so you could
taste test them
over the phone.

309
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,211
Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime.
This is an important moment.

310
00:12:58,211 --> 00:12:59,996
FaceTime, Zoom?
What are you, crazy?

311
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,911
You don't gotta
get all upset.
No, gotta be <i>faccia con faccia.</i>

312
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:04,870
Dad, I want
to do this
next weekend

313
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:07,264
at their family's house
in the country.

314
00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,135
Wait... wait.
Hold on, hold on.

315
00:13:09,135 --> 00:13:10,702
This is the first summer

316
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,922
since we had to say goodbye
to your poor dear mother,

317
00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,097
and you're going
to leave me alone

318
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:15,794
for the goddamn 4th of July?

319
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,143
Well, it's just that,
you know,

320
00:13:17,143 --> 00:13:19,450
her family invited me
to their summer house.

321
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,886
Oh, their summer home?

322
00:13:20,886 --> 00:13:22,105
Oh, most people got one home,
but they got 'em

323
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,802
for different seasons.
Oh, that's nice.

324
00:13:23,802 --> 00:13:25,586
Come on, Dad. So they got
more money than us,

325
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:28,111
who doesn't? Plus,
it's just for one weekend.

326
00:13:28,111 --> 00:13:30,765
Oh, one weekend, he says.
One weekend.

327
00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:32,680
Fifty years ago,
I come to this country

328
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:33,943
to give you a better life.

329
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,422
Fifty years ago,

330
00:13:35,422 --> 00:13:38,208
I skipped every weekend
in Sicily for you.

331
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,731
I joined the US Army

332
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,994
to protect your freedoms.
And what thanks do I get?

333
00:13:41,994 --> 00:13:43,778
You go celebrate
the 4th of July

334
00:13:43,778 --> 00:13:44,867
with some other family,

335
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,042
leaving me
to burn the sparklers

336
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,913
and eat the hot dogs alone!

337
00:13:47,913 --> 00:13:50,046
Alone! Thank you.

338
00:13:51,786 --> 00:13:53,223
This is incredible.

339
00:13:59,185 --> 00:14:01,057
Wait, what do you mean
you're not coming?

340
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:03,363
I can't leave my father.

341
00:14:03,363 --> 00:14:05,800
The 4th of July was
their favorite holiday.

342
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,628
Because of his
military background?

343
00:14:07,628 --> 00:14:10,414
No, it's the only holiday
you don't have to buy a gift.

344
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,198
I'm sorry, Ellie.

345
00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:14,200
We'll just do it
some other time.

346
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:15,462
Why don't
we just bring him?

347
00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:16,681
What happened?

348
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:19,945
I mean, if he...
loves the 4th,

349
00:14:19,945 --> 00:14:21,860
he's gonna flip out
at our place.

350
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:24,689
There's all
kinds of fun
family activities.

351
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:27,039
There's fireworks.
There's even a huge clambake

352
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:28,911
with tons of fresh fish.

353
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,347
He loves to de-bone fish.

354
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:32,175
Kind of perfect.

355
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:36,135
<i>My father
getting a close-up look</i>

356
00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,484
<i>at my new life,</i>

357
00:14:37,484 --> 00:14:39,356
<i>while I was trying
to seal the deal</i>

358
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,227
<i>with Ellie's parents?</i>

359
00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:43,360
<i>What an incredible idea!</i>

360
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,665
Nah, I don't think so.

361
00:14:44,665 --> 00:14:46,406
I should probably
just stay here with him.

362
00:14:46,406 --> 00:14:47,712
Boo!

363
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,758
Come on.

364
00:14:50,758 --> 00:14:53,413
Don't you want
our families
to finally meet?

365
00:14:53,413 --> 00:14:55,241
Yeah, of course I do.

366
00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:58,201
Why is your voice
going up like that?

367
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,332
What's going on?

368
00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:00,943
Are you...

369
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,468
Are you nervous
to bring him?

370
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,339
Ner... No.

371
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,385
No. What? No, no.

372
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:09,647
All right, fine.

373
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,605
Don't bring him.

374
00:15:11,605 --> 00:15:12,737
Don't come.

375
00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:16,959
Don't have fun.
It's fine.

376
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,917
<i>All right,
maybe I was a little scared</i>

377
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:21,615
<i>to bring my father
into a country club environment,</i>

378
00:15:21,615 --> 00:15:24,227
<i>where he'd see me playing
racquet sports,</i>

379
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:27,926
<i>riding around in golf carts,
and taking naps.</i>

380
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:30,711
<i>But I also knew
that stubborn bastard wouldn't</i>

381
00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:33,453
<i>give me the ring without
a face-to-face meeting.</i>

382
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,456
Fine. You win.
I'll ask him.

383
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:40,330
Hey, don't get
all excited, all right?

384
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:43,072
This guy's big on tradition.
I doubt he'll even say yes.

385
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,508
Shit, yeah. I'm coming.

386
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,118
No, wait, wait,
wait. Seriously?

387
00:15:46,118 --> 00:15:47,641
Of course, I'm coming.
What are we gonna
do instead?

388
00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:48,773
Spend the whole
weekend alone,

389
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:49,861
just the two of us
in the house,

390
00:15:49,861 --> 00:15:51,080
burning the sparklers

391
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,125
and eating the hotdogs?
Yeah, I'm coming.

392
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:54,474
That's the same
example you used

393
00:15:54,474 --> 00:15:55,910
to guilt trip me
into not going.

394
00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,608
Well, what can I say.
I got a way with words.

395
00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,044
You know me.

396
00:15:59,044 --> 00:16:00,132
All right, listen.
If we're gonna do this, Dad,

397
00:16:00,132 --> 00:16:01,481
you gotta be
on your best behavior.

398
00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:03,135
Wha... What do you mean,
my best behavior?

399
00:16:03,135 --> 00:16:05,007
The family is uptight,

400
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,399
they're conservative,
they're not used to...

401
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:07,705
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

402
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,099
So, you, the son, are
telling me, the father,

403
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,100
how to behave?

404
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,450
You hear this?

405
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,278
Just remember the main goal
is for you to meet the family,

406
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,410
so I can get the ring
and propose to Ellie.

407
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,542
It's not for you
to price check

408
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:19,760
their antique coffee tables.

409
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,240
Come on, already!
I mean, how fancy

410
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,546
could a stupid
coffee table be?

411
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,243
I mean, seriously,
how much we talking?

412
00:16:24,243 --> 00:16:26,463
I don't know, Dad.

413
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,813
I'm kidding you. <i>Mannaggia.</i>
Where's
your sense of humor?

414
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:29,857
- Jeez. Come on.
- All I'm asking is

415
00:16:29,857 --> 00:16:31,337
dial it down with the...

416
00:16:31,337 --> 00:16:32,425
What, all the...

417
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,644
This is...
What is this?

418
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,167
Look at him.
Look at him.

419
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:36,342
Dial it down
with all this
and that.

420
00:16:36,342 --> 00:16:37,430
You know what
he's worried about?

421
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:38,736
He's worried

422
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,172
his immigrant father's
gonna make him look

423
00:16:40,172 --> 00:16:41,826
like some kind
of goombah.

424
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:43,219
Let me tell you something.

425
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,872
You don't remember
this because I'm your dad

426
00:16:44,872 --> 00:16:46,700
but a lot of people
find me charming,

427
00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:48,093
pretty charming,
that's right. Right.

428
00:16:48,093 --> 00:16:49,399
- Right, ladies?
Yeah.

429
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,662
And these
stuck-up rich people?

430
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:52,880
They got a word for me...

431
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,144
I remember, it's loud,
it's obnoxious,

432
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,536
it's over-cologned.

433
00:16:56,536 --> 00:16:58,451
No, no. "Refreshing."

434
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,366
"He's refreshing."
"He's so original."

435
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:02,673
I've heard that all...
All the time I hear that.

436
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:05,328
And I promise you
Ellie's parents
are gonna love me.

437
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,938
I don't know about
you, but they're going
to love me.

438
00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:08,418
- Mm-hmm.
- Ladies,
you better get

439
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:09,941
your 'dos done
by Thursday

440
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,117
'cause the Maniscalco men,
they're going on vacation.

441
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,555
He's worried.

442
00:17:15,555 --> 00:17:17,601
This kid is
worried. I'm not.

443
00:17:35,749 --> 00:17:37,186
What the hell
are you doing?

444
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,013
- You can't smoke here.
- What? I'm outside.

445
00:17:39,013 --> 00:17:40,102
Next to an airplane!

446
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,191
- Oh, sorry!
That's okay.

447
00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,802
<i>Mannaggia.</i>
Can't even
smoke a cigar.

448
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:46,456
I got some
good news.

449
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:48,022
I got us
a luxury sedan

450
00:17:48,022 --> 00:17:49,981
for the price
of a compact.

451
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,548
That's nice,
but makes
me wonder

452
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,506
how much the compact
you could've got for.

453
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,769
Then I took
the compact price

454
00:17:55,769 --> 00:17:57,423
and got it
on the house!

455
00:17:57,423 --> 00:17:59,338
- Hey!
- Hey! Nice!

456
00:17:59,338 --> 00:18:01,514
- Baby, the bags.
- Yeah. How long does
it take to get there?

457
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,386
Um, like, three hours.

458
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,952
Hey, you guys
looking for a ride?

459
00:18:05,866 --> 00:18:07,520
Oh, my God.

460
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,869
Lucky!

461
00:18:08,869 --> 00:18:10,480
Oh, no.

462
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,134
Who's that,
an ex-boyfriend?

463
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,613
Worse. Brother.

464
00:18:13,613 --> 00:18:15,137
Hey!

465
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:20,054
<i>While I'd made
progress with Ellie's parents,</i>

466
00:18:20,054 --> 00:18:23,188
<i>I'd yet to make any
with the older brother.</i>

467
00:18:23,188 --> 00:18:26,235
<i>His name was
William Love Collins XIII.</i>

468
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,715
<i>So, everybody called
this guy "Lucky."</i>

469
00:18:28,715 --> 00:18:30,239
<i>And that's exactly</i>

470
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,501
<i>what he was.</i>
Chug, chug, chug,

471
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:32,676
Whoo!

472
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:34,112
Oh, my God!

473
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:35,722
<i>After graduating
from Princeton,</i>

474
00:18:35,722 --> 00:18:38,160
<i>back when you could
bribe your kid into college,</i>

475
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,553
<i>Lucky was on deck
to take over the Hotel Group</i>

476
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,816
<i>while working
as a "Client Liaison."</i>

477
00:18:42,816 --> 00:18:46,298
Gentlemen! Who's ready to go
hunt some endangered species?

478
00:18:46,298 --> 00:18:47,995
I'm just kidding.
Unless you guys
are down,

479
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:49,562
I can figure
something out.

480
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,129
<i>This meant
traveling around the world,</i>

481
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:52,870
<i>entertaining wealthy clients</i>

482
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,263
<i>with all the rich kid hobbies</i>

483
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:56,395
<i>he had time to master.</i>
Whoo!

484
00:18:56,395 --> 00:18:57,527
<i>We're talking skiing...</i>

485
00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:00,182
Whoo! Snowboarding sucks!

486
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,401
...y <i>achting.</i>

487
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:04,621
<i>...all the country club sports.</i>

488
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,189
Whoo! Looks like
I gotta change
my shoes,

489
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,713
'cause I'm on
the dance floor. What!

490
00:19:11,671 --> 00:19:14,326
<i>But I'd say
his overall best skill</i>

491
00:19:14,326 --> 00:19:16,459
<i>was being a prick.</i>

492
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:17,938
<i>There he is.</i>

493
00:19:17,938 --> 00:19:19,549
I see you're still
banging the bellboy.

494
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,072
Luck! No!
Hey!

495
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:22,726
I'm only joking,
Sea Bass.

496
00:19:24,031 --> 00:19:25,816
Hey, what's up,
Luck?[IN ENGLISH] Not much.

497
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:27,209
You must be
Sebastian's brother.

498
00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,036
Hey. No, I'm
his father. Salvo.
How are you?

499
00:19:29,036 --> 00:19:30,560
No way! Seriously?

500
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:32,126
That's crazy.
I can't tell the age

501
00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:33,519
of anybody over 40.

502
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:35,826
Anyway. Oh, let me

503
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:37,958
goose you guys
some free samps.

504
00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:39,177
I'm an angel investor

505
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:41,919
in this new anti-aging
skin cream for men

506
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:43,703
and I'm obvi a client.

507
00:19:43,703 --> 00:19:45,705
This guy.

508
00:19:45,705 --> 00:19:46,793
You boys ready to saddle up?

509
00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:48,186
Let's go!

510
00:19:48,186 --> 00:19:50,275
Oh, chopper time!

511
00:19:50,275 --> 00:19:52,277
El... El, I don't
think this is such
a good idea.

512
00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:53,757
Yeah, we got
a free car,
you know.

513
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,541
Guys, come on!

514
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:58,414
Trust me, the helicopter
takes 20 minutes,

515
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:01,373
and the views
are magical.

516
00:20:01,373 --> 00:20:03,070
Are you with me?

517
00:20:03,070 --> 00:20:06,073
Come on! Let's
have some fun!

518
00:20:06,073 --> 00:20:08,250
[ON RADIO] <i>Lucky,
you are cleared for takeoff.</i>

519
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,947
Roger that, Roger.

520
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,731
Dude's name is Roger. We hang.

521
00:20:11,731 --> 00:20:13,298
Got a super-hot wife.

522
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,215
Hey, if you guys
look out to your left,

523
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,522
you'll see the beautiful
Roanoke River.

524
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:21,219
Baby, look.

525
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,309
Salvo, it's nice, right?

526
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:25,789
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, it's nice.

527
00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,007
Reminds me of 'Nam.

528
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,973
- Huh?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
It's good.

529
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,453
- Okay. Okay.
- I'm fine.

530
00:20:39,411 --> 00:20:40,891
- Oh, yeah.
- Sorry. Sorry.

531
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:42,109
I got it. I got it.

532
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,809
Had a couple
too many G and Ts.

533
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:47,463
- He's kidding. He's kidding.
Yeah, yeah.

534
00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:50,901
- The air don't work.
No, it does.

535
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,685
It works, it works.

536
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,687
It's okay.
Only a couple of minutes.

537
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,776
It's just
- a little warm, Dad.
- Son, it's...

538
00:20:56,776 --> 00:20:58,735
I think we got a problem here.

539
00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,084
- What?
- We got
a problem here.

540
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,651
Oh, my God! Baby!

541
00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:03,000
- Yeah, I can't breathe.
- Wait, wait, wait.

542
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,654
Take a bite out of the lemon.

543
00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:05,872
It'll help with
the nausea.
I'm not doing a whole lemon.

544
00:21:05,872 --> 00:21:06,960
I'll cut it.
I'll cut it.
Don't worry.

545
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,179
Hey.

546
00:21:08,179 --> 00:21:09,354
I'll cut it
into pieces.
Hold on.

547
00:21:09,354 --> 00:21:10,877
I got a knife.

548
00:21:10,877 --> 00:21:12,183
He's got a knife.
Oh, my God.

549
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:13,706
- He's got a knife.
- I'm cutting the lemon.

550
00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:15,621
Okay, here.
Take it. Take it.
Baby, suck it.

551
00:21:15,621 --> 00:21:18,102
- Suck on that.
Suck on
that lemon. Suck.

552
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,322
Just suck!
Suck, suck, suck!

553
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,280
Sounds like
- my Saturday night.
Suck!

554
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,108
Dude.
Do not vom in my bird.

555
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:25,239
He's not gonna vom
in your bird.

556
00:21:25,239 --> 00:21:26,763
Just breathe
in through the nose,

557
00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,068
- out through the mouth.
Suck on that.

558
00:21:28,068 --> 00:21:30,288
- It's making it worse.
- Suck it!

559
00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:31,420
Cradle the balls.
Suck on that!

560
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:32,682
You just suck!
Just suck it.

561
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:35,162
- Suck the lemon!
Take it easy, kid.

562
00:21:35,162 --> 00:21:36,773
I think we should
turn around.
He's freaking out.

563
00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,035
It's like 19 more minutes.

564
00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:39,732
You can't tough
it out for 19...It stinks!

565
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:41,952
Let's bring it down.
Let's bring it... Open up the windows!

566
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:43,432
I'm gonna die!

567
00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:44,520
Put the air conditioning
- down there.
- Bring it down.

568
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,869
- How are you so calm?
Roger,

569
00:21:45,869 --> 00:21:47,697
- we're coming back.
- I'm dying!
Put it down!

570
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:49,568
Put it down! Ah!

571
00:21:56,662 --> 00:21:59,230
I knew I should've
forced him
to join the army.

572
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:01,711
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Laugh it up.

573
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:02,799
Laugh it up, guys.

574
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:04,844
I'm just happy
I'm on the ground.

575
00:22:07,107 --> 00:22:10,372
Okay, gentlemen.
Welcome to White Oak.

576
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,287
- Wow!
- Right?

577
00:22:13,287 --> 00:22:14,463
Ah, boy.

578
00:22:14,463 --> 00:22:16,987
Um, okay, so, that's
the golf course,

579
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:21,383
and then
the tennis courts are
back down there.

580
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:24,211
Oh, baby, look. Right there?
That's my childhood fort.

581
00:22:24,211 --> 00:22:25,604
Oh.
We'd go there.

582
00:22:25,604 --> 00:22:26,605
whenever I needed
to get away from my family.

583
00:22:26,605 --> 00:22:28,390
So, basically, all the time.

584
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,869
Yeah, I wish
I had one.

585
00:22:29,869 --> 00:22:32,829
Oh, look!

586
00:22:32,829 --> 00:22:36,833
Oh, my God! It's
Sergeant Feathers
and his family!

587
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:38,878
What is this?
- Oh, my God!

588
00:22:38,878 --> 00:22:40,750
What are you doing?

589
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,316
-  What up, dudes?
What are you...
Is this safe?

590
00:22:42,316 --> 00:22:43,666
Yeah, no, she's crazy.

591
00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:46,103
What's that? What are
you doing? Be careful.

592
00:22:46,103 --> 00:22:47,452
Get back in the car!

593
00:22:47,452 --> 00:22:49,411
They're gonna eat you alive!

594
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:50,629
- Oh, my God!
- Aren't they
the best?

595
00:22:50,629 --> 00:22:51,717
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

596
00:22:51,717 --> 00:22:53,284
They're
so beautiful!

597
00:22:53,284 --> 00:22:55,025
So how much
a peacock cost anyway?

598
00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:56,548
Don't answer that, El.

599
00:22:56,548 --> 00:22:58,681
I didn't know they had
peacocks in Virginia.

600
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:01,858
Oh, well,
my grandfather brought
two here decades ago,

601
00:23:01,858 --> 00:23:03,250
but they didn't
like their cages,

602
00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:04,774
so he decided
to let them roam free.

603
00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:06,123
And now, they've
pretty much just become

604
00:23:06,123 --> 00:23:08,081
the official mascots
of our club.

605
00:23:08,081 --> 00:23:09,779
Well, they're bad luck
where I come from.

606
00:23:09,779 --> 00:23:11,694
They're just a bunch
of goddamn showoffs,

607
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:13,652
if you ask me.
I don't like them.

608
00:23:13,652 --> 00:23:14,871
They're lucky
to be born that way.

609
00:23:14,871 --> 00:23:15,915
They could've been
born like a chicken,

610
00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:17,134
or a pigeon.

611
00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:18,744
I mean, it just has
fancy feathers,

612
00:23:18,744 --> 00:23:20,616
so all of a sudden,
it gets more respect.

613
00:23:20,616 --> 00:23:23,749
Okay, guys.

614
00:23:23,749 --> 00:23:25,795
We're here.
Welcome to our house.

615
00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:30,974
Look at this!
Are you kidding me?

616
00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:32,323
How much
a house like this cost?

617
00:23:32,323 --> 00:23:34,891
Enough
with the <i>Price is Right!</i>

618
00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:36,980
He's the Bob Barker
of the backseat.

619
00:23:38,547 --> 00:23:41,245
Oh, my little
cuddle monkey!
Hey! Hi!

620
00:23:41,245 --> 00:23:42,638
Hi.

621
00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:44,640
- Oh, my girl.
Oh!

622
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,685
- Oh, what a beauty!
- Ellie-Bellie!

623
00:23:46,685 --> 00:23:48,426
<i>You know,
looking back at this,</i>

624
00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:50,472
<i>my dad had to be overwhelmed.</i>

625
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,082
Family's a little
handsy, huh?

626
00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:54,258
It's called
love and
affection, Dad.

627
00:23:54,258 --> 00:23:55,999
Unlike you,
when you met me
in the delivery room

628
00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:57,435
and chose
to shake
my hand.

629
00:23:57,435 --> 00:23:59,481
What else was I
supposed to do?
We just met.

630
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,352
Huh?

631
00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:02,440
Guys,
come on. I want
you to meet

632
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,094
Sebastian's father.

633
00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:05,225
- Hey, Sebastian.
- Hi.

634
00:24:05,225 --> 00:24:06,618
Nice to see you.

635
00:24:06,618 --> 00:24:07,706
- Pleasure. Welcome.
Nice
to meet you.

636
00:24:07,706 --> 00:24:09,099
Sebastian,
so good
to see you.

637
00:24:10,361 --> 00:24:14,104
And you must be
the charming Salvo.

638
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:16,802
So nice to
finally meet you
in person, Tigger.

639
00:24:16,802 --> 00:24:18,325
It's just last week
I was checking out

640
00:24:18,325 --> 00:24:20,240
your highlights
on TV.

641
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,416
Oh, the CNN
or the Fox ones?

642
00:24:22,416 --> 00:24:23,853
No, no,
the blonde ones.

643
00:24:23,853 --> 00:24:25,419
You hair,
if I can say, is

644
00:24:25,419 --> 00:24:26,769
just like
a block
of marble.

645
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:28,422
I wanna sink
my tools into it.

646
00:24:28,422 --> 00:24:29,946
Dad, Dad,
Dad, what are
you doing?

647
00:24:29,946 --> 00:24:31,469
Sorry, I mean, it's... You're gonna hit her.

648
00:24:31,469 --> 00:24:33,558
Well, Salvo, we've
heard you're quite
the stylist.

649
00:24:33,558 --> 00:24:34,820
Now, tell me this,

650
00:24:34,820 --> 00:24:36,213
do you think
I'm too old
to pull off

651
00:24:36,213 --> 00:24:37,388
a set of
frosted tips?

652
00:24:41,087 --> 00:24:42,480
"Frosted tips?"

653
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,787
Good one, sir! Solid gold!

654
00:24:44,787 --> 00:24:46,266
All right,
I'm gonna
hit the links.

655
00:24:46,266 --> 00:24:47,485
Have fun!
<i>Hasta luego!</i>

656
00:24:47,485 --> 00:24:49,531
So, uh, why
don't you
come inside,

657
00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,184
and we'll
give you
the grand tour.

658
00:24:51,184 --> 00:24:52,664
Don't worry
about the bags.

659
00:24:52,664 --> 00:24:54,536
Wendell will
take care
of them.

660
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:55,841
Mommy...

661
00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:57,147
That's
a pretty big dog
you got there.

662
00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:59,105
Oh, that's Duke.

663
00:24:59,105 --> 00:25:00,367
We don't get too rough
with him, 'cause we're
afraid he'll kill us.

664
00:25:00,367 --> 00:25:01,934
He's so big!

665
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:03,153
Dad!
This is our house.

666
00:25:03,153 --> 00:25:04,546
Wow!
Yes.

667
00:25:04,546 --> 00:25:05,982
It's unbelievable.
It's so big.

668
00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,331
Oh, this is

669
00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:10,290
our youngest son, Doug.

670
00:25:10,290 --> 00:25:11,553
He's practicing... ELLIE: Hi!

671
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,293
...his sound bowls.

672
00:25:13,293 --> 00:25:15,382
Oh, yeah... Sound bowls?
What is that?

673
00:25:15,382 --> 00:25:17,210
Oh, well, now,
a sound bowl is...

674
00:25:17,210 --> 00:25:18,647
It's, actually,
it's an instrument.

675
00:25:18,647 --> 00:25:20,953
It puts out
this vibration

676
00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:23,782
that relieves stress
and promotes relaxation.

677
00:25:23,782 --> 00:25:26,219
He's...
he's learning
to be a healer.

678
00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:29,658
Uh, but we're
just so proud
of him.

679
00:25:29,658 --> 00:25:31,007
You're so loud, Dad.

680
00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:32,530
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.

681
00:25:32,530 --> 00:25:34,837
Let me just...
Sorry. No, I'm
gonna close the...

682
00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:36,186
Play, boy, play.

683
00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:39,058
Play to soothe
the savage beast.

684
00:25:39,058 --> 00:25:40,756
Well, you don't have
to shut 'em.

685
00:25:42,105 --> 00:25:44,934
Wow! This house
is amazing!

686
00:25:44,934 --> 00:25:46,762
- Look at this!
This is nothing.

687
00:25:46,762 --> 00:25:48,285
You should see
the place in Aspen.

688
00:25:48,285 --> 00:25:50,940
Well, it's just,
you know...

689
00:25:50,940 --> 00:25:53,812
- Yeah.
- I love this
cocktail table.

690
00:25:53,812 --> 00:25:56,336
Oh, Sebastian!

691
00:25:56,336 --> 00:25:58,382
Good eye!

692
00:25:58,382 --> 00:26:01,733
The first
commercial coal mine
in the country was

693
00:26:01,733 --> 00:26:03,039
right down
the road
from here,

694
00:26:03,039 --> 00:26:06,042
and this piece is
made out
of the wood

695
00:26:06,042 --> 00:26:08,697
from one
of the original
mine cars.

696
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:11,438
Drenched
- in history.
- Drenched.

697
00:26:11,438 --> 00:26:13,179
Good for you,
re-using old wood
like that.

698
00:26:13,179 --> 00:26:14,703
Yes.
- This guy always
gets on me

699
00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:16,443
about picking up
trash and putting
it in the house.

700
00:26:16,443 --> 00:26:18,141
Trash?

701
00:26:18,141 --> 00:26:19,708
It's crazy, the stuff
that people throw
away these days.

702
00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:21,448
It sure beats
paying for it,
I mean, right?

703
00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:23,581
- So, I... I take it.
- Right.

704
00:26:23,581 --> 00:26:26,018
Yes. Yes.
That is

705
00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:27,585
- so true.
- Yeah.

706
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:30,327
Um, actually,
though, we did
pay for this one.

707
00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:32,416
A king's ransom,

708
00:26:32,416 --> 00:26:35,375
if I must say,
but at least
it's too rickety

709
00:26:35,375 --> 00:26:37,073
to put drinks on.

710
00:26:37,073 --> 00:26:38,596
Dad, that's
the worst.

711
00:26:38,596 --> 00:26:41,338
No, no, we just,
we wanted something

712
00:26:41,338 --> 00:26:44,080
that matched
the art
in the room.

713
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,298
Oh, good for you,

714
00:26:45,298 --> 00:26:47,344
hanging up
your kids'
art work like that.

715
00:26:47,344 --> 00:26:53,306
No, these are
original Grandma Moseses.

716
00:26:53,306 --> 00:26:54,438
Can you
believe it?
I'm... I'm sorry.

717
00:26:54,438 --> 00:26:55,787
We
found them...
I'm sorry.

718
00:26:55,787 --> 00:26:57,746
What?
- I'm sorry.
I mean, I...

719
00:26:57,746 --> 00:26:59,356
I didn't mean
to insult your grandmother.

720
00:26:59,356 --> 00:27:01,619
I meant
no disrespect.
I had no idea.

721
00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:03,099
I mean, what was
the matter with her?

722
00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,927
Was she a little...

723
00:27:04,927 --> 00:27:06,015
Oh, my God.

724
00:27:06,015 --> 00:27:07,581
Hey, who's hungry
for lunch?

725
00:27:07,581 --> 00:27:09,105
- I am.
Me, me, me!

726
00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:10,889
We could all go
down to The Shack.

727
00:27:10,889 --> 00:27:12,630
Oh, Salvo,
- you're gonna love The Shack!
- What a great idea!

728
00:27:25,512 --> 00:27:26,600
It's me.

729
00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:31,170
Wow, this club
is huge, Bill.

730
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:32,432
The way
you were
describing it,

731
00:27:32,432 --> 00:27:34,478
I expected
a place where
they're serving

732
00:27:34,478 --> 00:27:36,567
grilled cheese
out of a little
window, you know.

733
00:27:36,567 --> 00:27:39,526
Yes, I suppose
they've fixed it up
over the years.

734
00:27:39,526 --> 00:27:41,615
But to us
it will
always be...

735
00:27:41,615 --> 00:27:43,313
The Shack.

736
00:27:43,313 --> 00:27:45,228
This place was
built by slaves.

737
00:27:45,228 --> 00:27:46,751
Douglass.

738
00:27:46,751 --> 00:27:49,058
What, I'm not allowed
to tell the truth now?

739
00:27:49,058 --> 00:27:50,755
How are we supposed
to confront our problems

740
00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:52,931
if we don't
talk about it, Dad?

741
00:27:52,931 --> 00:27:54,541
No, it's true.
It's true.

742
00:27:54,541 --> 00:27:57,240
The... Some
of the history
down here is

743
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,415
just...
it's brutal.

744
00:27:58,415 --> 00:28:00,634
- Mmm.
- It's just unthinkable.

745
00:28:02,767 --> 00:28:04,464
It's not on the menu,
but you can order

746
00:28:04,464 --> 00:28:06,466
the club sandwich
with lobster.

747
00:28:06,466 --> 00:28:08,338
You know, I can't
even bring
my girlfriend here

748
00:28:08,338 --> 00:28:09,600
because
I'm ashamed.

749
00:28:11,341 --> 00:28:12,864
She's
an African person.

750
00:28:12,864 --> 00:28:16,520
She is a person
emailing you from Africa,

751
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,001
and to whom
you are sending
back money.

752
00:28:19,001 --> 00:28:20,437
We have
yet to confirm

753
00:28:20,437 --> 00:28:22,918
whether she's
a girl or a friend.

754
00:28:22,918 --> 00:28:24,963
Keep me safe
from negative energy.

755
00:28:24,963 --> 00:28:27,052
Hi, everyone. Welcome
to White Oak.

756
00:28:27,052 --> 00:28:29,968
What can
- I get you guys?
- Oh, no bread, please.

757
00:28:29,968 --> 00:28:32,971
Um, do you have
those crackers?
The seedy ones?

758
00:28:32,971 --> 00:28:35,452
- Of course.
- Gloria, do you
have kombucha?

759
00:28:35,452 --> 00:28:38,063
- I can check.
- Does anyone
want in on this?

760
00:28:38,063 --> 00:28:39,978
Ever since I've
had kombucha,

761
00:28:39,978 --> 00:28:42,938
my BMs have been
- ...completely regular.
Oh. All right.

762
00:28:42,938 --> 00:28:45,331
- I've had no problems.
- All right.
Remember, Douglass,

763
00:28:45,331 --> 00:28:47,856
we don't talk about
- our BMs at the table.
- No.

764
00:28:47,856 --> 00:28:49,640
Before I was
drinking kombucha,

765
00:28:50,249 --> 00:28:51,990
my feces looked like

766
00:28:51,990 --> 00:28:54,036
ripped,
little pieces
of paper

767
00:28:54,036 --> 00:28:55,646
and then after
I started drinking,

768
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,474
they're long,
soft logs.

769
00:28:57,474 --> 00:29:00,433
Well, all right.
Thank you for that.

770
00:29:00,433 --> 00:29:02,218
Um, do you know
what you want,
Sebastian?

771
00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:04,481
Just a...

772
00:29:04,481 --> 00:29:06,788
- the Cobb salad.
Good choice.

773
00:29:06,788 --> 00:29:08,528
What are you, one
of my sorority sisters?

774
00:29:08,528 --> 00:29:10,792
Is that all
you're gonna get?

775
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,315
You're not
gonna get
a starter?

776
00:29:12,315 --> 00:29:14,143
Yeah, uh,
I'm just gonna

777
00:29:14,143 --> 00:29:15,448
stick with the middle
of the menu.

778
00:29:15,448 --> 00:29:17,233
All right,
suit yourself.

779
00:29:17,233 --> 00:29:18,669
Salvo, what are
you gonna get?

780
00:29:18,669 --> 00:29:20,889
Gloria, I think
I'm gonna have the...

781
00:29:20,889 --> 00:29:22,978
the BLT with
the onion rings.

782
00:29:22,978 --> 00:29:25,023
But what's
the price
on that dish?

783
00:29:25,676 --> 00:29:26,895
Oh, no, we don't...

784
00:29:26,895 --> 00:29:31,203
Salvo, this may
sound very silly

785
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:33,205
but we don't
like to put
prices on things,

786
00:29:33,205 --> 00:29:37,949
because it's just
an annoying reminder
of money. Right?

787
00:29:37,949 --> 00:29:39,733
Oh!

788
00:29:39,733 --> 00:29:41,474
So, everything's
for free, you mean?

789
00:29:41,474 --> 00:29:44,303
No. No, it is
not free.

790
00:29:44,303 --> 00:29:45,739
I wish it were.

791
00:29:45,739 --> 00:29:47,393
Nothing is free.

792
00:29:47,393 --> 00:29:49,613
So, what do they do?
I mean, they make up
a price, or...

793
00:29:49,613 --> 00:29:51,310
Oh, Dad, it's...
you know...

794
00:29:51,310 --> 00:29:52,572
Son, I'm talking
to Bill, here.

795
00:29:52,572 --> 00:29:53,835
Are you Bill?
Hello, Bill.

796
00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,271
It's fine.

797
00:29:55,271 --> 00:29:57,099
Everything has
- a set price.
- Mmm.

798
00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,492
And then they just
tally it up at the
end of the week,

799
00:29:59,492 --> 00:30:01,755
put it on my bill,
and it's
taken care of.

800
00:30:01,755 --> 00:30:03,279
Got it.
Okay, got it.

801
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:04,802
Well, Gloria,
I would just
love to chat

802
00:30:04,802 --> 00:30:06,325
with somebody
who knows
the prices.

803
00:30:06,325 --> 00:30:07,718
Salvo, please.

804
00:30:07,718 --> 00:30:10,199
Please. It would
be our pleasure
to treat you.

805
00:30:10,199 --> 00:30:12,027
I would love that
and thank you, Tigger.

806
00:30:12,027 --> 00:30:14,681
But I think you do
way, way, way
too much, already.

807
00:30:14,681 --> 00:30:16,683
You're putting us
up in your home,

808
00:30:16,683 --> 00:30:19,121
that's enough already.
We want to at least,
you know, pay for the meal.

809
00:30:19,121 --> 00:30:20,818
- It's not a big deal.
- I know it's not
a big deal.

810
00:30:20,818 --> 00:30:22,167
Don't make
a big deal out
of it. It's all right.

811
00:30:22,167 --> 00:30:23,647
Don't worry
about it.
It's okay.

812
00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,779
So, Gloria,
just do me
a favor,

813
00:30:25,779 --> 00:30:27,259
find out how much
it is for the BLT.

814
00:30:27,259 --> 00:30:29,696
What did
you get again?
Just the Cobb salad.

815
00:30:29,696 --> 00:30:31,133
- Cobb salad.
Please. Please,

816
00:30:31,133 --> 00:30:32,612
No, we'll take
care of it.
Just let us pay.

817
00:30:32,612 --> 00:30:34,005
It will be
so much easier...
Just let them pay.

818
00:30:34,005 --> 00:30:35,746
...if you just
let them pay.
I can't let you.

819
00:30:35,746 --> 00:30:38,401
- ...taken care of it.
- Dad, let them pay.

820
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,098
- Please let them pay.
- Just let us pay.

821
00:30:40,098 --> 00:30:42,013
- I can't let you pay.
It's so easy.

822
00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:48,802
I don't know
what you're
so upset about.

823
00:30:48,802 --> 00:30:50,848
I mean, I'm
a working guy.

824
00:30:50,848 --> 00:30:52,110
I like to pay
my own way.

825
00:30:52,110 --> 00:30:53,459
I don't want
to owe anybody anything.

826
00:30:53,459 --> 00:30:55,070
I'm upset because
you're supposed

827
00:30:55,070 --> 00:30:56,723
to be getting
to know Ellie's family.

828
00:30:56,723 --> 00:30:58,595
And instead,
you made a big scene.

829
00:30:58,595 --> 00:31:00,640
So what? Who cares?
These people are strange.

830
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:01,946
Yeah, you think
they are.

831
00:31:01,946 --> 00:31:03,948
They are strange.
Are you kidding me?

832
00:31:03,948 --> 00:31:05,863
They wanna take
a break from thinking
about money.

833
00:31:05,863 --> 00:31:07,343
Where I come from,
that's called dying.

834
00:31:07,343 --> 00:31:09,040
All right, that's...

835
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,303
It's a different life.

836
00:31:11,303 --> 00:31:12,609
But you still
gotta try.

837
00:31:13,218 --> 00:31:14,567
Try...

838
00:31:14,567 --> 00:31:16,134
I just don't
know, Sebastian,
I got to tell you.

839
00:31:16,134 --> 00:31:18,049
I don't know
how you're
gonna fit in.

840
00:31:18,049 --> 00:31:19,746
It ain't normal. I mean,
your mother and me,

841
00:31:19,746 --> 00:31:21,357
we didn't
raise you
this way, so...

842
00:31:21,357 --> 00:31:23,315
Yeah, you raised me
to marry an Italian

843
00:31:23,315 --> 00:31:24,969
who shouts
when she's happy,

844
00:31:24,969 --> 00:31:26,492
and grows hair
in places I didn't
even know could grow.

845
00:31:26,492 --> 00:31:28,103
So what? That's
a real woman.

846
00:31:28,103 --> 00:31:29,626
Your mother was a real woman,

847
00:31:29,626 --> 00:31:31,323
who put real food
on the table,

848
00:31:31,323 --> 00:31:34,022
not somebody
who refuses
a bread basket.

849
00:31:34,022 --> 00:31:35,458
All right, Dad,
even I have to admit

850
00:31:35,458 --> 00:31:37,764
- the crackers were awful.
- It's like
eating birdseed.

851
00:31:37,764 --> 00:31:39,418
Yeah. I didn't know
whether to eat 'em
with my hands

852
00:31:39,418 --> 00:31:40,637
or just walk
around and...

853
00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:46,164
Exactly, and you notice
how they try to downplay

854
00:31:46,164 --> 00:31:47,470
how fancy it is?

855
00:31:47,470 --> 00:31:48,645
Oh, yeah."Excuse me?

856
00:31:48,645 --> 00:31:50,081
"I'm looking at this.

857
00:31:50,081 --> 00:31:52,301
"Excuse me.
I got eyes.
I can see. Hello."

858
00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:53,824
They walk around,
saying, "Oh, yes.

859
00:31:53,824 --> 00:31:56,174
"The house is
60,000 square feet,

860
00:31:56,174 --> 00:31:57,567
"with 13 bedrooms,

861
00:31:57,567 --> 00:31:59,961
"but we like it
because it's cozy."

862
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:01,875
And then they do
the opposite
with the furniture.

863
00:32:01,875 --> 00:32:03,312
They make it sound
more important

864
00:32:03,312 --> 00:32:04,617
than it really is.

865
00:32:04,617 --> 00:32:06,489
It can't just be
like a regular chair.

866
00:32:06,489 --> 00:32:08,186
It's got to have like
a whole back story.

867
00:32:08,186 --> 00:32:09,405
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, what...

868
00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:11,581
"This is the chair
Thomas Jefferson sat in

869
00:32:11,581 --> 00:32:13,887
"when he signed
the treaty of
Who-the-Hell-Cares?"

870
00:32:13,887 --> 00:32:16,499
"Well, the toilet is where
Abe Lincoln took a dump.

871
00:32:16,499 --> 00:32:18,022
"There's a plaque
right there."

872
00:32:18,022 --> 00:32:20,546
"Oh, do they got a place
for his hat in there, too?"

873
00:32:20,546 --> 00:32:21,895
I mean, I don't know
if I'm in a house

874
00:32:21,895 --> 00:32:23,201
or I'm in a museum.

875
00:32:24,333 --> 00:32:26,770
So, tell us,
what's new
in Chicago?

876
00:32:26,770 --> 00:32:28,554
How's the art?

877
00:32:28,554 --> 00:32:31,122
Well, it's, um... Yes?

878
00:32:31,122 --> 00:32:32,732
- It's great.
- Yes.

879
00:32:32,732 --> 00:32:34,604
All my pieces
from my last show

880
00:32:34,604 --> 00:32:36,998
sold out at the opening.
I mean...

881
00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:39,000
Well, that's
something...
That's amazing!

882
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,436
- ...to crow about.
- Yeah, right?

883
00:32:40,436 --> 00:32:43,265
So, now that
you're getting
all these contacts,

884
00:32:43,265 --> 00:32:46,094
you could probably
work from anywhere.

885
00:32:46,094 --> 00:32:49,836
- Mom, stop, no.
- Right, sweetie?
Right?

886
00:32:49,836 --> 00:32:51,621
Sebastian and I
love living
in Chicago.

887
00:32:51,621 --> 00:32:53,101
Oh.

888
00:32:53,101 --> 00:32:55,755
But we miss
having you
there in D.C.

889
00:32:55,755 --> 00:32:57,975
We really do.
- We really do.
- We do.

890
00:32:57,975 --> 00:32:59,281
These cheeks
aren't as fun

891
00:32:59,281 --> 00:33:00,673
to kiss
on FaceTime.

892
00:33:00,673 --> 00:33:01,935
Oh, my God.
I want a cheek, too.

893
00:33:01,935 --> 00:33:03,372
Where's my cheek?
Where's my cheek?

894
00:33:03,372 --> 00:33:06,679
Excuse me. Excuse me.

895
00:33:06,679 --> 00:33:08,159
You guys aren't supposed
to be talking

896
00:33:08,159 --> 00:33:09,421
- during a sound bath.
- Oh, God.

897
00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:11,249
Oh, of course.
Sorry. Sorry, Dougie.

898
00:33:11,249 --> 00:33:12,511
No. No, this is... Sorry, sorry, sorry.

899
00:33:12,511 --> 00:33:14,035
This is wonderful.

900
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:16,950
Please keep
bathing us
in sound.

901
00:33:16,950 --> 00:33:19,127
- Yes.
- Go, with
your... Yeah.

902
00:33:19,127 --> 00:33:22,217
Dad, listen. We're here
because I wanna marry Ellie.

903
00:33:22,217 --> 00:33:24,436
So, it don't matter
how it works
with these people.

904
00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:25,872
It works with her.

905
00:33:25,872 --> 00:33:27,787
So, come on.
Tomorrow, please,

906
00:33:27,787 --> 00:33:29,789
can you give
these people
a chance?

907
00:33:29,789 --> 00:33:32,879
Got it. Got it.
No problem, no problem.

908
00:33:32,879 --> 00:33:35,012
Because at the end
of the day, son,
it's your life.

909
00:33:36,622 --> 00:33:38,015
- Night cologne?
- Yep.

910
00:33:46,328 --> 00:33:48,460
Look at this.
Pink sheets?

911
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:49,505
What?

912
00:33:51,072 --> 00:33:52,638
Well, we're
in a dollhouse.

913
00:33:56,207 --> 00:33:58,557
Mom, Dad,
I would love

914
00:33:58,557 --> 00:34:00,429
to live closer,
you know that.

915
00:34:00,429 --> 00:34:02,561
- And?
- But...

916
00:34:02,561 --> 00:34:04,911
Sebastian has
his dad,

917
00:34:04,911 --> 00:34:06,913
- and a great job.
- Yeah, working

918
00:34:06,913 --> 00:34:08,437
for the damn Hiltons.

919
00:34:08,437 --> 00:34:09,873
- The Hiltons.
- Such a good gig.

920
00:34:09,873 --> 00:34:11,570
Do you still have
to have herpes to work there?

921
00:34:11,570 --> 00:34:13,746
The point is... Thank you
for that.

922
00:34:13,746 --> 00:34:16,662
...that he loves it,

923
00:34:16,662 --> 00:34:19,056
and I couldn't
just ask him
to leave.

924
00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:21,537
Sure, but that house
that you guys live in,

925
00:34:21,537 --> 00:34:24,322
- it's so cramped.
- We prefer "modest."

926
00:34:24,322 --> 00:34:26,759
You don't go
on vacations.
Because we're working.

927
00:34:26,759 --> 00:34:28,152
And
all that cologne?

928
00:34:28,152 --> 00:34:30,067
They made my chopper smell
like a Nordstrom's.

929
00:34:30,067 --> 00:34:31,503
God! I hate it

930
00:34:31,503 --> 00:34:34,376
when you guys
gang up on me
like this.

931
00:34:34,376 --> 00:34:36,421
It's not fair!
And like it or not,

932
00:34:36,943 --> 00:34:38,031
Mom, Dad,

933
00:34:39,207 --> 00:34:40,512
and Lucky... Ow!

934
00:34:40,512 --> 00:34:42,775
Sebastian and I are
very happy together,

935
00:34:42,775 --> 00:34:44,908
and we're staying
in Chicago.

936
00:34:44,908 --> 00:34:46,518
I'm sorry, Dougie.

937
00:34:46,518 --> 00:34:48,651
Okay. I can't open
chakras like this.

938
00:34:48,651 --> 00:34:50,522
I'm gonna go
call my girlfriend.

939
00:34:50,522 --> 00:34:52,829
-  Oh, no!
- It's fine.
It's fine.

940
00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:54,135
Oh, shit!

941
00:34:55,092 --> 00:34:56,224
Bitcoin's down.

942
00:34:59,140 --> 00:35:00,967
Will you look at us?
Walking through

943
00:35:00,967 --> 00:35:04,275
a gated community
as guests.

944
00:35:04,275 --> 00:35:05,668
Not groundskeepers.

945
00:35:05,668 --> 00:35:07,235
Yeah. Well,
I just hope

946
00:35:07,235 --> 00:35:08,801
nothing gets stolen
this weekend,

947
00:35:08,801 --> 00:35:10,890
'cause these people
love to blame
the immigrants.

948
00:35:12,196 --> 00:35:13,458
Look at this one.
Look at this one.

949
00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:15,634
What'd she do?
Take the gym
equipment home?

950
00:35:15,634 --> 00:35:16,983
- Morning!
- Hello.

951
00:35:16,983 --> 00:35:18,376
Beautiful day,
isn't it?
Yeah.

952
00:35:18,376 --> 00:35:20,378
- Beautiful.
- Yeah. Yeah.

953
00:35:20,378 --> 00:35:22,380
You gotta be kidding me.
What the hell's her problem?

954
00:35:22,380 --> 00:35:23,860
"Beautiful day."
Give me a break.

955
00:35:23,860 --> 00:35:25,514
She's happy, Dad.

956
00:35:25,514 --> 00:35:28,256
She probably had
a father that let her
sleep in past 5:45.

957
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:29,518
I mean, I can't
stop thinking

958
00:35:29,518 --> 00:35:30,954
about how much work
I'm missing.

959
00:35:30,954 --> 00:35:32,608
I could've done
four dyes
and a perm by now.

960
00:35:32,608 --> 00:35:34,523
Two electric bills
I could've paid. Two.

961
00:35:34,523 --> 00:35:36,133
- Good morning.
- Hello.

962
00:35:37,308 --> 00:35:39,092
"Good morning."
Come on.

963
00:35:39,092 --> 00:35:41,312
What you talking about?
She's in a bathrobe.
I can't believe this.

964
00:35:41,312 --> 00:35:43,053
I mean, don't
these people
have jobs?

965
00:35:43,053 --> 00:35:44,576
It's a holiday weekend.

966
00:35:44,576 --> 00:35:46,883
Plus, they got
their money in
the stock market.

967
00:35:46,883 --> 00:35:50,016
Not mayonnaise jars
buried in their backyard.

968
00:35:50,016 --> 00:35:52,149
Just relax.
Come on, Dad.

969
00:35:52,149 --> 00:35:54,891
It's a beautiful day!

970
00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:04,553
Back and forth,
back and forth.

971
00:36:04,553 --> 00:36:06,903
You play this game?
Come on.

972
00:36:06,903 --> 00:36:08,252
The outfits?

973
00:36:08,252 --> 00:36:09,862
The wives
with their <i>culos</i>
hanging out

974
00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:11,690
for everybody
to see?

975
00:36:11,690 --> 00:36:13,214
And when
they hit a ball,
it sounds like

976
00:36:13,214 --> 00:36:14,345
they're having
an orgasm. They're
hitting a ball.

977
00:36:15,912 --> 00:36:18,001
Come on. The only reason
I agreed to play is

978
00:36:18,001 --> 00:36:19,872
so you could spend
some time with Bill.

979
00:36:19,872 --> 00:36:21,526
So just relax
and do what
we came to do.

980
00:36:21,526 --> 00:36:22,788
Yeah, I am relaxed.

981
00:36:22,788 --> 00:36:24,225
Look, I got
sandals on.

982
00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:26,401
I'm relaxed.

983
00:36:26,401 --> 00:36:28,577
You look like
the guy who killed
John Wick's dog.

984
00:36:28,577 --> 00:36:30,231
Who's that?
I don't even
know who that is.

985
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,800
So Ellie tells me
you're quite the player.

986
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,454
Yeah, I've taken
a couple lessons.

987
00:36:36,454 --> 00:36:38,021
Well, get ready
to bring it.

988
00:36:38,021 --> 00:36:40,328
I love my family everywhere,

989
00:36:40,328 --> 00:36:42,678
except on
the tennis court.

990
00:36:42,678 --> 00:36:43,983
- Chest-bump!
- Oh, wow!

991
00:36:43,983 --> 00:36:46,247
Oh, jeez, that's
uncomfortable.

992
00:36:46,247 --> 00:36:48,118
Let's do this.
Mom, you ready?

993
00:36:56,518 --> 00:36:58,041
It's time
for tennis, baby!

994
00:36:59,477 --> 00:37:01,392
So, hey, Bill...
Yeah?

995
00:37:01,392 --> 00:37:03,525
So how long
you been in the
hotel business?

996
00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:05,527
Oh, yes, well,
50 years.

997
00:37:05,527 --> 00:37:07,790
A long time.
My whole life. Yeah.

998
00:37:08,747 --> 00:37:10,488
But then it's...

999
00:37:10,488 --> 00:37:12,795
I guess it's
a pretty exciting
thing to do.

1000
00:37:12,795 --> 00:37:14,536
I love it. I love it.
I got... I got hotel...

1001
00:37:14,536 --> 00:37:16,668
I got... I got
hotels in
my blood.

1002
00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:18,191
Just like
you have hair
in your blood.

1003
00:37:18,191 --> 00:37:19,671
Right? I mean...

1004
00:37:19,671 --> 00:37:22,674
Yo, Sea Bass.
Hope you got on
your oven mitts.

1005
00:37:22,674 --> 00:37:24,197
'Cause here comes the heat.

1006
00:37:24,197 --> 00:37:26,287
Oh.

1007
00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:29,115
Oh, my God!
Sorry.

1008
00:37:29,115 --> 00:37:30,682
What the hell was
that, Sebastian?

1009
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,597
Ellie told me you had game.

1010
00:37:32,597 --> 00:37:34,207
- Sorry.
Didn't
come easy.

1011
00:37:34,207 --> 00:37:36,035
I got, uh,
kicked out
of Harvard

1012
00:37:36,035 --> 00:37:37,863
for playing
the sax. I know,
it's a long story.

1013
00:37:37,863 --> 00:37:39,517
But my dad,
he got mad.
He said,

1014
00:37:39,517 --> 00:37:41,258
"That's it.
You make it
on your own."

1015
00:37:41,258 --> 00:37:43,782
He gave me
one hotel. One.

1016
00:37:43,782 --> 00:37:45,175
- Wow.
- Yeah.

1017
00:37:45,175 --> 00:37:46,524
That's
- impressive.
- Well...

1018
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,223
My father
gave me
a mule.

1019
00:37:50,963 --> 00:37:52,313
Next day
it died.

1020
00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:56,360
Gah!

1021
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,797
<i>♪ Put the macaroni
in the pot and cook it ♪</i>

1022
00:38:01,626 --> 00:38:03,106
What's
that, Doug?

1023
00:38:03,106 --> 00:38:04,760
It's an adult
coloring book.

1024
00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:09,852
Hey,
man, you wanna
take a break

1025
00:38:09,852 --> 00:38:12,420
for some more water
or some more
tennis lessons?

1026
00:38:15,031 --> 00:38:17,294
What is going on?

1027
00:38:17,294 --> 00:38:18,643
- What?
- You love tennis,

1028
00:38:18,643 --> 00:38:20,079
and it's like
you're not even
trying out here.

1029
00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:21,516
Come on, it's
just a game.

1030
00:38:21,516 --> 00:38:22,995
Well...

1031
00:38:22,995 --> 00:38:24,388
All right.
At least
take off

1032
00:38:24,388 --> 00:38:25,781
this stupid
- tracksuit.
- No, it's cold.

1033
00:38:25,781 --> 00:38:27,173
Leave it on.
- Leave it on.
- You must be sweating...

1034
00:38:27,173 --> 00:38:28,653
No, I'm cold.
I'm cold....your tits off!

1035
00:38:28,653 --> 00:38:30,263
You're not cold.

1036
00:38:32,483 --> 00:38:34,746
Wait a sec. Are you
embarrassed to play

1037
00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:36,052
because your dad
is watching?

1038
00:38:36,052 --> 00:38:37,314
Listen, he's not
the biggest fan

1039
00:38:37,314 --> 00:38:38,663
of sports like this.

1040
00:38:38,663 --> 00:38:40,273
And I don't
really feel like
going over there

1041
00:38:40,273 --> 00:38:41,579
and explaining to him

1042
00:38:41,579 --> 00:38:43,581
that I'm paying a guy
to teach me how to play.

1043
00:38:43,581 --> 00:38:45,627
Well, you should know
that my mother is not

1044
00:38:45,627 --> 00:38:48,369
a "big fan"
of losing either.

1045
00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:53,330
Yeah.

1046
00:38:53,330 --> 00:38:55,854
Listen, at least
she stopped
chest-bumping me.

1047
00:38:55,854 --> 00:38:58,030
The only breasts
I wanna feel in
this family are yours.

1048
00:38:58,988 --> 00:39:00,381
Not if you lose.

1049
00:39:01,556 --> 00:39:03,384
Sebastian,
did Ellie
ever tell you

1050
00:39:03,384 --> 00:39:04,689
about the guy
she dated,

1051
00:39:04,689 --> 00:39:07,431
during her semester
abroad in Scotland?

1052
00:39:07,431 --> 00:39:09,738
Is that
Andy-frickin'-Murray?

1053
00:39:09,738 --> 00:39:12,567
Never lost
a match with him
on my team.

1054
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:14,046
I wonder what
he's up to.

1055
00:39:14,046 --> 00:39:15,570
Hey, you know what?
I'll play with my weak hand.

1056
00:39:15,570 --> 00:39:17,876
That way
you guys have,
like, a shot.

1057
00:39:19,704 --> 00:39:21,140
Is that cool, Mom?

1058
00:39:21,140 --> 00:39:23,404
<i>Until then,
my nightmare had been</i>

1059
00:39:23,404 --> 00:39:26,189
<i>letting my father
see me enjoy this life.</i>

1060
00:39:33,283 --> 00:39:35,067
<i>So, much like the kick serve</i>

1061
00:39:35,067 --> 00:39:38,680
<i>I learned from a Swedish pro
named Johannes,</i>

1062
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:40,595
<i>this would be the point</i>

1063
00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:42,118
<i>of no return.</i>

1064
00:39:45,382 --> 00:39:46,601
Ooh!

1065
00:40:21,462 --> 00:40:22,680
Oh, no.

1066
00:40:23,202 --> 00:40:24,552
You see this?

1067
00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:27,119
Crud! I am calm!

1068
00:40:27,119 --> 00:40:28,425
Serve!

1069
00:40:31,210 --> 00:40:32,995
This a game
you can
pick up fast?

1070
00:40:34,387 --> 00:40:35,476
Not at this level.

1071
00:40:41,133 --> 00:40:42,221
My, my.

1072
00:40:42,221 --> 00:40:44,789
Sebastian,
he's got game.

1073
00:40:44,789 --> 00:40:46,182
You must be
very proud.

1074
00:41:03,678 --> 00:41:05,680
Lucky! Are
you okay?

1075
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,029
No, I'm not okay.

1076
00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:08,944
So sorry, Luck.

1077
00:41:08,944 --> 00:41:11,120
Oh, that's okay, Sebastian.

1078
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,556
I'm sure it was
an accident.

1079
00:41:12,556 --> 00:41:13,688
Oh, my God.

1080
00:41:13,688 --> 00:41:15,254
Quick! Bill!

1081
00:41:15,254 --> 00:41:18,431
Get a small cup
of ice water
for his testes.

1082
00:41:18,431 --> 00:41:19,650
Here.
What?

1083
00:41:19,650 --> 00:41:21,086
I'm way
ahead of you, sweetheart.

1084
00:41:21,086 --> 00:41:22,435
No, no, no. no.
- Here, this
is ice tea.

1085
00:41:22,435 --> 00:41:23,436
- It's not gonna hurt.
- Easy, son.
Rest easy.

1086
00:41:23,436 --> 00:41:24,786
- Nice and cool.
- We're gonna cool

1087
00:41:24,786 --> 00:41:26,657
my future
- grandbabies.
- Stop what you're doing!

1088
00:41:26,657 --> 00:41:28,093
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
Do you want me

1089
00:41:28,093 --> 00:41:29,225
to squeeze one, sweetie...
Take these. Hold these.

1090
00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,443
...just to feel
how it is?
Trust me.

1091
00:41:30,443 --> 00:41:32,097
Don't touch.
Oh, okay.

1092
00:41:32,097 --> 00:41:33,446
<i>When did
you learn to play tennis
like that, anyway?</i>

1093
00:41:33,446 --> 00:41:35,971
I took a few lessons
for Ellie, all right?

1094
00:41:35,971 --> 00:41:37,059
It's not that big
of a deal.

1095
00:41:37,059 --> 00:41:38,495
So how much
this cost you?

1096
00:41:38,495 --> 00:41:40,366
<i>To all
the immigrant kids watching,</i>

1097
00:41:40,366 --> 00:41:42,586
<i>you know when
you get that question,</i>

1098
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,370
<i>you always give them
the parent price.</i>

1099
00:41:44,370 --> 00:41:45,458
Uh, $40.

1100
00:41:45,458 --> 00:41:46,938
Forty? You're
telling me

1101
00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,026
you paid the price

1102
00:41:48,026 --> 00:41:49,201
of a long hair blowout

1103
00:41:49,201 --> 00:41:51,334
for somebody
to teach you
a game?

1104
00:41:51,334 --> 00:41:53,075
I mean,
what am
I gonna say?

1105
00:41:53,075 --> 00:41:55,207
<i>Now, just imagine
how he'd react if I told him</i>

1106
00:41:55,207 --> 00:41:57,253
<i>the actual price was 80.</i>

1107
00:41:57,253 --> 00:41:59,951
Next thing I know,
you'll be serving me
the bird crackers.

1108
00:42:01,344 --> 00:42:03,085
Son, serve me
the bird crackers.
Come on.

1109
00:42:03,999 --> 00:42:05,740
It's a hobby, Dad.

1110
00:42:05,740 --> 00:42:07,611
A lot of people have
them, all right?

1111
00:42:07,611 --> 00:42:09,047
Stop acting
like I'm
joining a cult.

1112
00:42:09,047 --> 00:42:10,135
Well, it is a cult.

1113
00:42:10,135 --> 00:42:11,397
Only instead
of Kool-Aid,

1114
00:42:11,397 --> 00:42:12,573
they're serving champagne.

1115
00:42:12,573 --> 00:42:14,575
Mmm.

1116
00:42:16,620 --> 00:42:17,665
Welcome,
everyone,

1117
00:42:17,665 --> 00:42:18,753
to the
<i>S.S. Collins.</i>

1118
00:42:18,753 --> 00:42:21,538
Uh, fun fact.
I won this boat,

1119
00:42:21,538 --> 00:42:22,887
playing
backgammon

1120
00:42:22,887 --> 00:42:24,280
with Sir Richard Branson.

1121
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,674
So for us,
every voyage is
a Virgin one.

1122
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:29,459
- Good one, sir.
- Thanks.

1123
00:42:29,459 --> 00:42:31,156
Now, Bill and I
have been talking,

1124
00:42:31,156 --> 00:42:33,681
and we were
going to wait

1125
00:42:33,681 --> 00:42:35,378
until the weekend
to do this,

1126
00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:37,554
but, um,
now we're just
too excited.

1127
00:42:37,554 --> 00:42:39,730
All right.
Uh, Sebastian,

1128
00:42:39,730 --> 00:42:42,298
as a lifelong hotelier,

1129
00:42:42,298 --> 00:42:44,648
and the father
of the most
wonderful girl

1130
00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:46,302
in the world... I love you.

1131
00:42:46,302 --> 00:42:48,391
...I have to say,
it just killed me...

1132
00:42:48,391 --> 00:42:50,436
killed...
Kills us.
Kills us. Yes.

1133
00:42:50,436 --> 00:42:51,699
We are dead,

1134
00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:54,136
thinking that
you are working

1135
00:42:54,136 --> 00:42:55,833
for our biggest competitor.

1136
00:42:55,833 --> 00:42:57,443
So... Go on.

1137
00:42:57,443 --> 00:42:58,575
Shall I?Yes.

1138
00:42:58,575 --> 00:43:00,185
- Right now?
- Please do.

1139
00:43:00,185 --> 00:43:01,926
Okay.
- Daddy,
what is it?

1140
00:43:01,926 --> 00:43:05,408
On behalf
of the Collins
Hotel group,

1141
00:43:05,408 --> 00:43:07,236
I would love you
to join our side

1142
00:43:07,236 --> 00:43:09,281
and become
the new face

1143
00:43:09,281 --> 00:43:12,241
of the luxurious
five-star experience,

1144
00:43:12,241 --> 00:43:14,156
that is...
drum roll,

1145
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,073
The Barrymore Hotel.

1146
00:43:18,073 --> 00:43:19,161
Go on. Yeah.

1147
00:43:19,161 --> 00:43:20,336
Not kidding.

1148
00:43:20,336 --> 00:43:22,207
What?
Are you serious?

1149
00:43:22,207 --> 00:43:23,644
Not kidding.
Very serious.

1150
00:43:23,644 --> 00:43:25,297
This is
your signature property.

1151
00:43:25,297 --> 00:43:27,038
The most
prestigious hotel
in D.C.

1152
00:43:27,038 --> 00:43:28,300
Yeah,
it better be.
We just spent

1153
00:43:28,300 --> 00:43:30,520
$240 million
restoring it.

1154
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,262
Uh, Dad, I thought
you were saving
that job for me.

1155
00:43:33,262 --> 00:43:34,916
We regularly drug test.

1156
00:43:34,916 --> 00:43:37,005
Oh. Okay then.

1157
00:43:37,005 --> 00:43:39,094
Mom, Dad,
this is
so generous.

1158
00:43:39,094 --> 00:43:40,530
We
wouldn't do this

1159
00:43:40,530 --> 00:43:43,141
if we didn't think
he was perfect
for the job.

1160
00:43:43,141 --> 00:43:45,187
Come on, let's
go get some
more champagne.

1161
00:43:45,187 --> 00:43:46,275
- Let's take a look.
- I mean...

1162
00:43:46,275 --> 00:43:47,580
Let's take
a look at...
What?

1163
00:43:47,580 --> 00:43:48,756
...what you're... I can't
believe this.

1164
00:43:48,756 --> 00:43:49,931
...going to be
the new manager of.

1165
00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:51,584
Now this was
built in 1896.

1166
00:43:51,584 --> 00:43:53,412
It's been completely restored,

1167
00:43:53,412 --> 00:43:55,980
down to the dings
and the doorknobs.

1168
00:43:57,634 --> 00:43:59,636
Take a look.
No, they're all... Everything.

1169
00:43:59,636 --> 00:44:02,117
Hey, uh, Doug,
what are you doing?

1170
00:44:02,117 --> 00:44:04,249
Just getting
the blood flowing.

1171
00:44:05,598 --> 00:44:06,774
Your face is
getting a little red.

1172
00:44:07,513 --> 00:44:09,385
Yeah, I... I feel dizzy.

1173
00:44:10,212 --> 00:44:11,996
Yeah, me, too.

1174
00:44:11,996 --> 00:44:14,129
Oh, that's the
Jackie Onassis boardroom.

1175
00:44:14,129 --> 00:44:16,174
She was never there,
but we wish she would
have been.

1176
00:44:17,915 --> 00:44:20,396
This painting
in the lobby
here looks...

1177
00:44:20,396 --> 00:44:23,791
Yes, we... There's art.
Oh, we have... Yes.

1178
00:44:23,791 --> 00:44:25,314
This painting
in the board room.

1179
00:44:25,314 --> 00:44:27,577
Yeah, there's
a painting.
I recognize that sunset.

1180
00:44:27,577 --> 00:44:29,753
Wait a minute.
Did you buy
Ellie's paintings?

1181
00:44:29,753 --> 00:44:32,190
- Does she know?
- We bought a few

1182
00:44:32,190 --> 00:44:34,018
through this designer
that we know,

1183
00:44:34,018 --> 00:44:35,585
it's no big deal.

1184
00:44:35,585 --> 00:44:38,806
We're supporting
our baby's dream.

1185
00:44:38,806 --> 00:44:41,069
Let's close this.

1186
00:44:41,069 --> 00:44:42,374
A little champagne.

1187
00:44:42,374 --> 00:44:44,115
Oh, good.
I'll have some.
I'll have some.

1188
00:44:44,115 --> 00:44:45,508
Excuse me, Daddy.

1189
00:44:47,597 --> 00:44:49,599
So, what are
you thinking?

1190
00:44:49,599 --> 00:44:51,601
Yeah, well, Bill,
that's a very
generous offer,

1191
00:44:51,601 --> 00:44:54,256
but Sebastian
obviously has to
think about that.

1192
00:44:54,256 --> 00:44:55,431
Right?

1193
00:44:55,431 --> 00:44:57,041
Yeah.
Absolutely, Dad. Yeah.

1194
00:44:57,041 --> 00:44:59,348
Of course.
This would be

1195
00:44:59,348 --> 00:45:00,784
a big move
for everyone,

1196
00:45:00,784 --> 00:45:03,439
so please,
take your time.

1197
00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:04,919
- Talk it over.
- Right.

1198
00:45:04,919 --> 00:45:06,572
And then tell us
what day to send
the moving trucks.

1199
00:45:08,270 --> 00:45:10,228
Dad.

1200
00:45:10,228 --> 00:45:13,144
Oh, this is
so cool!
So cool!

1201
00:45:13,144 --> 00:45:14,711
Hey, as
a possible member

1202
00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:17,975
of our, um,
family company,

1203
00:45:17,975 --> 00:45:19,977
how about we celebrate with
a little jet-booting, huh?

1204
00:45:19,977 --> 00:45:21,762
Oh, that sounds
great, man.
Count me in.

1205
00:45:21,762 --> 00:45:23,198
What's jet-booting?

1206
00:45:24,634 --> 00:45:27,245
Whoo! Whoa!

1207
00:45:27,245 --> 00:45:29,378
This is amazing, Lucky!

1208
00:45:29,378 --> 00:45:30,901
All right! Look at you.

1209
00:45:30,901 --> 00:45:33,121
Baby, you're doing so good!

1210
00:45:33,121 --> 00:45:35,601
I feel like I'm flying! Whoa!

1211
00:45:35,601 --> 00:45:37,647
- Use your core!
- I'm actually smiling.

1212
00:45:37,647 --> 00:45:39,867
This smile is real.

1213
00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:42,434
Salvo, would
you like

1214
00:45:42,434 --> 00:45:44,219
to borrow some
swim trunks?

1215
00:45:44,219 --> 00:45:46,003
We have
a hot tub upstairs.

1216
00:45:46,003 --> 00:45:47,613
I'm fine.
I'm trying
to watch him.

1217
00:45:47,613 --> 00:45:49,093
- Oh.
- Make sure
he's okay.

1218
00:45:50,312 --> 00:45:52,096
Hey...

1219
00:45:52,096 --> 00:45:53,881
I just wanted
to thank you

1220
00:45:53,881 --> 00:45:57,058
for looking
after Ellie
in Chicago.

1221
00:45:57,058 --> 00:45:59,669
We feel so lucky
she's met your son.

1222
00:45:59,669 --> 00:46:01,453
Well, he's a good kid. Thanks.

1223
00:46:01,453 --> 00:46:02,933
I'm king
of the world!

1224
00:46:02,933 --> 00:46:04,413
Always out making
an ass of himself.

1225
00:46:07,459 --> 00:46:09,157
I know
you guys are close,

1226
00:46:09,157 --> 00:46:12,595
so if they do
end up in D.C.,

1227
00:46:12,595 --> 00:46:15,641
I promise we will
take good care of him.

1228
00:46:15,641 --> 00:46:17,121
Honestly, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.

1229
00:46:17,121 --> 00:46:19,994
I can't imagine Sebastian
ever leaving Chicago or me.

1230
00:46:19,994 --> 00:46:21,430
'Cause I'm
the only family
he's got.

1231
00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:25,216
I used to say
the same thing
about Ellie.

1232
00:46:28,829 --> 00:46:31,048
Hey, Dad!
Check it out!
I can dive!

1233
00:46:34,312 --> 00:46:37,054
Look at that.
He's very athletic.
He's quite good.

1234
00:46:37,054 --> 00:46:38,577
Dad!

1235
00:46:38,577 --> 00:46:39,709
Yeah, he gets it
from my side.

1236
00:46:39,709 --> 00:46:40,928
Whoa!

1237
00:46:42,233 --> 00:46:43,756
Whoo-hoo!

1238
00:46:43,756 --> 00:46:44,888
Look at this!

1239
00:46:46,890 --> 00:46:48,239
- Oh, my gosh!
- Oh, shit!

1240
00:46:49,632 --> 00:46:51,155
Sebastian,
- your suit!
- It's Versace.

1241
00:46:51,155 --> 00:46:52,330
Do you like it?

1242
00:46:52,330 --> 00:46:54,463
No, you moron!
It's not up!

1243
00:46:54,463 --> 00:46:56,769
- Look down!
Oh, God!

1244
00:46:56,769 --> 00:46:59,076
Hey, Bubba Gump! Nice shrimp!

1245
00:46:59,076 --> 00:47:00,904
I can't get it. Whoa!

1246
00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:02,645
Oh!

1247
00:47:02,645 --> 00:47:03,733
Whoa! You good, man?

1248
00:47:05,474 --> 00:47:06,823
What's the matter
with you?

1249
00:47:06,823 --> 00:47:08,303
Pull up your pants!

1250
00:47:08,303 --> 00:47:09,957
I can't reach it.

1251
00:47:09,957 --> 00:47:12,698
Hey, what the hell
do I do?

1252
00:47:12,698 --> 00:47:14,962
Son, your sail
is at half-mast.

1253
00:47:14,962 --> 00:47:17,442
Oh, no, no, uh,
it looks like
it's full mast.

1254
00:47:17,442 --> 00:47:18,617
Oh, no!

1255
00:47:21,969 --> 00:47:23,318
Sebastian!

1256
00:47:23,318 --> 00:47:24,928
No, no.
Okay, don't... TIGGER: No!

1257
00:47:24,928 --> 00:47:26,103
- Stay down!
- No, no. No.

1258
00:47:26,103 --> 00:47:27,844
Stay down.
Stay down.
No!

1259
00:47:27,844 --> 00:47:29,063
- Okay. Okay.
- God!

1260
00:47:29,063 --> 00:47:30,803
All right,
that is not appropriate.

1261
00:47:30,803 --> 00:47:33,197
I'm going to be sick.
No, it's...

1262
00:47:33,197 --> 00:47:35,330
Honey, my mom
can't unsee that.

1263
00:47:37,332 --> 00:47:39,421
Hey, Sea Bass!
Say hi to TikTok.

1264
00:47:45,862 --> 00:47:47,081
Dad, what
the hell you doing?

1265
00:47:47,081 --> 00:47:48,473
Packing.

1266
00:47:48,473 --> 00:47:50,519
I'm going back
to Chicago
tomorrow morning.

1267
00:47:50,519 --> 00:47:52,216
What, are you crazy?
We're not leaving.

1268
00:47:52,216 --> 00:47:53,783
You didn't even
give me the ring yet.

1269
00:47:53,783 --> 00:47:55,916
Trust me.
What I saw today,

1270
00:47:55,916 --> 00:47:57,700
you don't come back from.

1271
00:47:57,700 --> 00:47:59,354
Oh, stop being
so dramatic.

1272
00:47:59,354 --> 00:48:00,790
It was from far away.

1273
00:48:00,790 --> 00:48:02,009
Nobody saw much.

1274
00:48:02,009 --> 00:48:03,445
Yeah, that's for sure.

1275
00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:05,273
Look, I know
I haven't seen
you naked

1276
00:48:05,273 --> 00:48:07,144
since the delivery room,
but is it possible

1277
00:48:07,144 --> 00:48:09,407
your <i>pisellino</i> hasn't
even grown since then?

1278
00:48:09,407 --> 00:48:11,105
Would you put
the suitcase away?

1279
00:48:11,105 --> 00:48:12,715
No, I'm gonna
bring you home,

1280
00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:14,195
set you up
with some
Italian girls,

1281
00:48:14,195 --> 00:48:15,587
help you
start over fresh.

1282
00:48:15,587 --> 00:48:17,676
And I even got
a nice new
hairstyle for you.

1283
00:48:17,676 --> 00:48:19,635
Dad, I'm in love with Ellie.
That wouldn't change

1284
00:48:19,635 --> 00:48:22,072
if I accidentally showed
my balls to the entire world.

1285
00:48:22,072 --> 00:48:23,813
Oh, is that what
you got planned
for tomorrow?

1286
00:48:23,813 --> 00:48:25,641
Son, you gotta
stop pretending

1287
00:48:25,641 --> 00:48:27,904
that you fit in
with these people,
because you don't.

1288
00:48:27,904 --> 00:48:29,514
I'm not pretending.

1289
00:48:29,514 --> 00:48:31,299
Are you serious?
I mean, every time
you're with this family,

1290
00:48:31,299 --> 00:48:32,474
you make a fool of yourself.

1291
00:48:32,474 --> 00:48:33,954
Because you raised me

1292
00:48:33,954 --> 00:48:36,130
to be afraid
of trying anything new.

1293
00:48:36,130 --> 00:48:38,088
I mean, God.
Dad, listen,

1294
00:48:38,088 --> 00:48:40,830
I honestly...
I was nervous
to bring you here.

1295
00:48:40,830 --> 00:48:42,353
'Cause I knew
you would just
sit here,

1296
00:48:42,353 --> 00:48:44,225
and judge
with your black shirt,

1297
00:48:44,225 --> 00:48:45,356
your zipper purse,

1298
00:48:45,356 --> 00:48:46,792
your resting bitch face.

1299
00:48:46,792 --> 00:48:48,620
Hey, I don't have
resting bitch face.

1300
00:48:48,620 --> 00:48:50,622
We look like
Italian gargoyles.

1301
00:48:50,622 --> 00:48:51,884
You look
like you're
gonna murder

1302
00:48:51,884 --> 00:48:54,017
the entire neighborhood.

1303
00:48:54,017 --> 00:48:55,758
You know what
your problem is?

1304
00:48:55,758 --> 00:48:58,369
You're so negative,
you can't let yourself
enjoy anything,

1305
00:48:58,369 --> 00:48:59,892
so you think I can't either.

1306
00:49:00,937 --> 00:49:04,245
Dad, Ellie is my future.

1307
00:49:04,245 --> 00:49:07,683
And I'm gonna keep
an open mind
about everything.

1308
00:49:07,683 --> 00:49:09,946
Whoa, whoa. What do
you mean, everything?

1309
00:49:09,946 --> 00:49:12,166
- Even the job offer?
- Maybe.

1310
00:49:12,166 --> 00:49:13,210
It's a pretty good one.

1311
00:49:15,647 --> 00:49:16,735
Unbelievable.

1312
00:49:17,432 --> 00:49:18,433
Unbelievable.

1313
00:49:20,261 --> 00:49:21,392
Unbelievable.

1314
00:49:25,701 --> 00:49:27,659
First, your mother is
taken away from me.

1315
00:49:27,659 --> 00:49:29,487
Now you wanna leave.

1316
00:49:29,487 --> 00:49:31,968
I'm not leaving you, Dad.

1317
00:49:31,968 --> 00:49:34,710
Ellie's the best thing
that ever happened to me.

1318
00:49:34,710 --> 00:49:36,712
And when
I get married, not if,

1319
00:49:36,712 --> 00:49:40,542
her family is going to be
a big part of the package.

1320
00:49:40,542 --> 00:49:43,414
Now, I want you
to be a part of my life.

1321
00:49:43,414 --> 00:49:45,721
But if that's gonna happen,
you gotta give me some effort.

1322
00:49:45,721 --> 00:49:49,246
I wanna see
the Salvo at the salon

1323
00:49:49,246 --> 00:49:51,422
that everybody loves.

1324
00:49:51,422 --> 00:49:52,815
And if I don't,
I got no choice

1325
00:49:52,815 --> 00:49:54,251
but to leave you behind.

1326
00:49:59,648 --> 00:50:02,477
I don't know.
How can you say that?
How can you say that?

1327
00:50:02,477 --> 00:50:05,784
How could you say that
to your father?

1328
00:50:07,569 --> 00:50:10,180
You got no respect
for your family.

1329
00:50:10,180 --> 00:50:12,791
I got enough respect to know
we could go to bed angry

1330
00:50:14,271 --> 00:50:16,795
but not stinky.
Come on.

1331
00:50:18,754 --> 00:50:20,538
Now, come on,
let's do our
night spritz.

1332
00:50:27,850 --> 00:50:30,722
I miss you, and I wish
you were here for
so many reasons.

1333
00:50:30,722 --> 00:50:32,898
So many reasons, just...

1334
00:50:32,898 --> 00:50:35,597
For one, just tell me,
am I being an asshole?

1335
00:50:35,597 --> 00:50:38,948
Are we really doing
the right thing
for our son?

1336
00:50:38,948 --> 00:50:41,690
Just give me
some kind of sign, something.

1337
00:50:42,125 --> 00:50:43,474
Please?

1338
00:50:43,474 --> 00:50:45,041
Just let me know
what you think.

1339
00:50:45,868 --> 00:50:47,652
I... I...

1340
00:50:47,652 --> 00:50:49,393
Give me some sign, honey.

1341
00:51:08,238 --> 00:51:09,892
I love you.

1342
00:51:09,892 --> 00:51:11,285
Hi, Doug.

1343
00:51:12,634 --> 00:51:14,462
- Hello.
- What are you doing?

1344
00:51:14,462 --> 00:51:16,812
I was just serenading
the peacocks.

1345
00:51:17,552 --> 00:51:18,640
Oh.

1346
00:51:21,599 --> 00:51:23,471
Would you be
open enough

1347
00:51:23,471 --> 00:51:26,300
to doing
a healing session
with me?

1348
00:51:26,300 --> 00:51:27,388
A healing session?

1349
00:51:27,388 --> 00:51:29,259
It'll be
very beneficial for you.

1350
00:51:31,261 --> 00:51:32,393
Well, that's a nice offer,

1351
00:51:32,393 --> 00:51:33,785
but I don't know
if I even know

1352
00:51:33,785 --> 00:51:35,047
what you're talking about.

1353
00:51:35,047 --> 00:51:38,268
Well, just start
by shutting your eyes,

1354
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,836
and then, really,
just focus

1355
00:51:40,836 --> 00:51:42,490
on your breathing.

1356
00:51:42,490 --> 00:51:43,621
In your nose.

1357
00:51:44,405 --> 00:51:45,493
Out your nose.

1358
00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,931
And if you can,

1359
00:51:48,931 --> 00:51:52,717
really try to connect
to that little Salvo,

1360
00:51:52,717 --> 00:51:55,024
that was afraid
when you were young.

1361
00:51:56,286 --> 00:51:58,288
I don't even know
where he is anymore.

1362
00:51:58,288 --> 00:52:00,203
That's so long ago.

1363
00:52:00,203 --> 00:52:02,466
You know, I'm in another...
I'm in another life.

1364
00:52:04,555 --> 00:52:07,297
Let me help you
find him, okay?

1365
00:52:07,297 --> 00:52:08,820
Just stay with your breath.

1366
00:52:16,567 --> 00:52:18,874
- Heal, little Salvo.
- Okay, I feel better.

1367
00:52:20,441 --> 00:52:21,790
- You do?
- Mmm-hmm.

1368
00:52:21,790 --> 00:52:23,139
- Yeah. Thanks.
- Okay.

1369
00:52:23,139 --> 00:52:24,923
I'm gonna
go to sleep. Okay.

1370
00:52:24,923 --> 00:52:26,055
- Thank you.
- Good night.

1371
00:52:26,055 --> 00:52:27,709
Good night.
Good night, Doug.

1372
00:52:27,709 --> 00:52:29,189
I'm glad
I could help.
Thank you. Yeah.

1373
00:52:29,189 --> 00:52:31,495
Thank you.
Big help.

1374
00:52:33,367 --> 00:52:35,586
<i>Yesterday was
a day of regrettable firsts.</i>

1375
00:52:36,457 --> 00:52:37,849
<i>I yelled at my father</i>

1376
00:52:37,849 --> 00:52:41,026
<i>and I showed my balls
to my future in-laws.</i>

1377
00:52:41,026 --> 00:52:42,114
<i>But who knows?</i>

1378
00:52:42,114 --> 00:52:44,073
<i>Maybe everybody forgot?</i>

1379
00:52:44,073 --> 00:52:46,902
Well, there's
the big swimmer.

1380
00:52:46,902 --> 00:52:48,425
Hey, did you
see the full moon
last night?

1381
00:52:48,425 --> 00:52:50,210
Okay. Just... I'm talking about
your butt.

1382
00:52:50,210 --> 00:52:51,994
All right.
Ignore him.

1383
00:52:51,994 --> 00:52:53,735
His butt cheeks
- are the full moon.
- Yes, I understand.

1384
00:52:53,735 --> 00:52:56,259
Um, how you
doing, kiddo?

1385
00:52:56,259 --> 00:52:58,218
- I'm all right.
Good.

1386
00:52:58,218 --> 00:52:59,958
- Have you seen my dad?
Yes.

1387
00:52:59,958 --> 00:53:01,525
He is out
taking a walk

1388
00:53:01,525 --> 00:53:02,918
with Ellie, Doug
and Tigger.

1389
00:53:02,918 --> 00:53:04,311
- A walk?
Yes, he was...

1390
00:53:04,311 --> 00:53:05,660
he was...
Well, here.

1391
00:53:05,660 --> 00:53:06,922
- Speak of the devil.
So I says to him...

1392
00:53:06,922 --> 00:53:08,967
I says, "Why would I
buy you a skateboard

1393
00:53:08,967 --> 00:53:10,012
"when I can build you one?"

1394
00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:13,233
Holy Mother of God.

1395
00:53:13,233 --> 00:53:14,451
Sleepy head,
I was just
telling 'em

1396
00:53:14,451 --> 00:53:15,670
about the time
I gave you
a skateboard

1397
00:53:15,670 --> 00:53:16,758
for Christmas.
You remember that?

1398
00:53:16,758 --> 00:53:18,238
Ah, I remember
that. Yeah.

1399
00:53:18,238 --> 00:53:19,717
What time
did you get up
anyway?

1400
00:53:19,717 --> 00:53:21,241
I got up early.
I didn't want
to wake you,

1401
00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:22,329
so I snuck out,

1402
00:53:22,329 --> 00:53:24,374
did my laundry,
watched TV,

1403
00:53:24,374 --> 00:53:26,071
fixed one
of their bannisters,

1404
00:53:26,071 --> 00:53:27,508
reorganized
the spice rack.

1405
00:53:27,508 --> 00:53:28,596
Then when
the sun came up,

1406
00:53:28,596 --> 00:53:30,337
I started making breakfast.

1407
00:53:30,337 --> 00:53:32,164
Then I went
for a walk to get
to know the family.

1408
00:53:32,164 --> 00:53:33,514
Good people,
these Collins.

1409
00:53:33,514 --> 00:53:35,907
Good people.
Even the commie.

1410
00:53:35,907 --> 00:53:37,213
Oh, I'm
a socialist.

1411
00:53:37,213 --> 00:53:38,693
Well, whatever
you say,
Che Guevara.

1412
00:53:38,693 --> 00:53:40,782
Oh, that's funny.

1413
00:53:42,523 --> 00:53:44,873
Get over here.

1414
00:53:44,873 --> 00:53:46,744
- What the hell's going on?
- What do you mean,
what's going on?

1415
00:53:46,744 --> 00:53:48,180
I'm doing what
you asked me to do.

1416
00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:49,878
Making an effort,
like you asked.

1417
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:52,272
Okay. No, I appreciate it.
But Jesus, the shorts.

1418
00:53:52,272 --> 00:53:53,403
Yeah. So what?

1419
00:53:53,403 --> 00:53:54,709
I've never seen
your legs before.

1420
00:53:54,709 --> 00:53:56,058
Yeah, you haven't.

1421
00:53:56,058 --> 00:53:57,364
That's right.
They're not
too bad.

1422
00:53:57,364 --> 00:53:58,887
They look like
pretzel sticks
in socks.

1423
00:53:58,887 --> 00:54:00,192
Don't blame me.
This is what

1424
00:54:00,192 --> 00:54:01,411
these people
gave me,
you know?

1425
00:54:01,411 --> 00:54:04,501
What can I tell you?
I want to join the fun.

1426
00:54:04,501 --> 00:54:06,416
And I feel great,
and I can't wait

1427
00:54:06,416 --> 00:54:07,852
to see what the
universe suggests

1428
00:54:07,852 --> 00:54:09,724
after I opened
my eyes.

1429
00:54:09,724 --> 00:54:11,856
We did
a healing session together.

1430
00:54:11,856 --> 00:54:14,424
Yeah. Little Salvo's
not afraid anymore.

1431
00:54:14,424 --> 00:54:16,470
- Little Salvo?
- Yeah.

1432
00:54:16,470 --> 00:54:17,993
I hope
everyone's ready

1433
00:54:17,993 --> 00:54:19,734
for Family Fun Day.

1434
00:54:19,734 --> 00:54:20,996
I am. I am.

1435
00:54:20,996 --> 00:54:22,214
Oh,
what's Family Fun Day?

1436
00:54:22,214 --> 00:54:23,520
What?
What, are you dense?

1437
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,217
Everything you
need to know
is in the name.

1438
00:54:25,217 --> 00:54:26,610
- Duh!
- Duh!

1439
00:54:26,610 --> 00:54:28,090
Okay.
<i>Salud!</i>

1440
00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:29,352
What the hell
is this?

1441
00:54:29,352 --> 00:54:30,484
It's a big
4th of July tradition.

1442
00:54:30,484 --> 00:54:32,921
There's relay races,
and croquet,

1443
00:54:32,921 --> 00:54:34,183
and face painting,

1444
00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:35,576
and a hot dog
eating contest.

1445
00:54:35,576 --> 00:54:36,925
It's just a lot of fun.

1446
00:54:43,105 --> 00:54:44,324
<i>I know
I'd asked the man</i>

1447
00:54:44,324 --> 00:54:45,629
<i>to start making an effort,</i>

1448
00:54:45,629 --> 00:54:47,196
<i>but this was crazy.</i>

1449
00:54:47,196 --> 00:54:49,633
<i>I felt like
I created a monster.</i>

1450
00:54:49,633 --> 00:54:51,766
<i>Except instead
of looking scary,</i>

1451
00:54:51,766 --> 00:54:55,160
<i>he was smiling, playing games,</i>

1452
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,467
<i>dressing like
the American flag.</i>

1453
00:54:57,467 --> 00:54:58,686
All right!

1454
00:54:58,686 --> 00:55:00,949
The Maniscalcos.

1455
00:55:00,949 --> 00:55:03,038
What's your
angle here?
No angle. I'm happy.

1456
00:55:03,038 --> 00:55:04,387
I'm with my family.

1457
00:55:04,387 --> 00:55:05,475
Say, "Fireworks."

1458
00:55:05,475 --> 00:55:07,347
- Fireworks.
- Chee... Say firework.

1459
00:55:11,481 --> 00:55:12,874
It's like bocce with sticks.

1460
00:55:15,746 --> 00:55:17,269
All right.
You wanna
take a look?

1461
00:55:18,662 --> 00:55:20,272
- Nice.
- Right?

1462
00:55:20,272 --> 00:55:22,405
And the winner
of this year's

1463
00:55:22,405 --> 00:55:25,800
4th of July
hot dog eating
contest is

1464
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,063
Salvo Manisculo!

1465
00:55:35,853 --> 00:55:37,464
<i>My father was
having a great time,</i>

1466
00:55:37,464 --> 00:55:40,380
<i>and suddenly, I was the one
who was uncomfortable.</i>

1467
00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:42,425
<i>I wanted him
to make an effort,</i>

1468
00:55:42,425 --> 00:55:44,558
<i>not change
who he was completely.</i>

1469
00:55:48,475 --> 00:55:49,650
There he is.

1470
00:55:49,650 --> 00:55:51,521
The MVP.

1471
00:55:51,521 --> 00:55:53,218
What are you doing?
Checking out
your hardware?

1472
00:55:53,218 --> 00:55:55,351
I just figured out
how these people
stay so rich.

1473
00:55:55,351 --> 00:55:57,005
They do everything
on the cheap.

1474
00:55:57,005 --> 00:55:58,572
Hear that? Plastic.

1475
00:56:00,095 --> 00:56:01,270
Huh.

1476
00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:03,098
Just enjoy it,
will you, please?

1477
00:56:03,098 --> 00:56:05,056
I mean, you kicked
some ass out there today,

1478
00:56:05,056 --> 00:56:06,841
and I think these people
are starting to like you.

1479
00:56:06,841 --> 00:56:08,756
Yeah. Yeah. Come on.
They're just being polite.

1480
00:56:08,756 --> 00:56:09,974
I'm serious.

1481
00:56:09,974 --> 00:56:13,021
Bill even has
a signature scent now.

1482
00:56:13,021 --> 00:56:15,327
Oh, yeah?
What brand?
He won't divulge.

1483
00:56:15,327 --> 00:56:16,894
- He won't divulge?
- Yeah.

1484
00:56:16,894 --> 00:56:18,940
- Salvo.
I wanna smell that.

1485
00:56:18,940 --> 00:56:20,594
Oh, my God.
I've been looking
all over for you.

1486
00:56:20,594 --> 00:56:22,596
Um, so,
my mom just
got invited

1487
00:56:22,596 --> 00:56:24,598
to be on MSNBC
in two hours.

1488
00:56:24,598 --> 00:56:25,729
- That's great.
- Yes.

1489
00:56:25,729 --> 00:56:27,557
Well, it would
be, but Tyler,

1490
00:56:27,557 --> 00:56:29,211
well, he's
in Sedona,

1491
00:56:29,211 --> 00:56:31,735
and I have
no one to do
my hair.

1492
00:56:31,735 --> 00:56:32,997
So we were thinking

1493
00:56:32,997 --> 00:56:34,434
maybe you could
help her out.

1494
00:56:34,434 --> 00:56:35,913
I mean, that's like
asking Van Gogh

1495
00:56:35,913 --> 00:56:37,175
to draw a smiley face.

1496
00:56:37,175 --> 00:56:39,569
Yes!
Great!

1497
00:56:39,569 --> 00:56:40,788
Mmm.

1498
00:56:43,181 --> 00:56:44,705
I'd be lying to you
if I told you

1499
00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:47,577
I didn't have my eyes
on your lustrous mane
all weekend.

1500
00:56:47,577 --> 00:56:50,275
It's nice to finally get
my hands up in here.

1501
00:56:50,275 --> 00:56:52,495
Hmm. I am
very grateful.

1502
00:56:53,061 --> 00:56:54,192
Ah.

1503
00:56:55,759 --> 00:56:58,109
Are those cigars?

1504
00:56:58,762 --> 00:56:59,763
Yeah.

1505
00:57:01,504 --> 00:57:02,592
Can I have one?

1506
00:57:03,158 --> 00:57:04,507
Oh, boy.

1507
00:57:04,507 --> 00:57:06,335
This day just
keeps getting
better and better.

1508
00:57:06,335 --> 00:57:07,902
Of course,
you can have one.

1509
00:57:07,902 --> 00:57:09,033
Be my guest.

1510
00:57:11,949 --> 00:57:12,994
Oh!

1511
00:57:14,082 --> 00:57:15,692
Only the best.
Can I have one?

1512
00:57:15,692 --> 00:57:17,041
Oh, please
join me.

1513
00:57:17,651 --> 00:57:18,652
Okay.

1514
00:57:22,133 --> 00:57:23,483
Fine.

1515
00:57:30,925 --> 00:57:32,013
Mmm.

1516
00:57:35,146 --> 00:57:36,234
You know,
I never met
a woman

1517
00:57:36,234 --> 00:57:39,499
who smokes
cigars before.
Yeah?

1518
00:57:39,499 --> 00:57:42,066
I got hooked
in the Navy.
Wait a minute.

1519
00:57:42,066 --> 00:57:44,504
- You're military?
- Mmm-hmm.

1520
00:57:44,504 --> 00:57:46,941
I thought you went to one
of those Ivy places.

1521
00:57:46,941 --> 00:57:48,682
I enlisted
after graduation.

1522
00:57:50,379 --> 00:57:52,947
I just felt
a duty to
my country.

1523
00:57:52,947 --> 00:57:55,166
But mostly, I did it
to piss off my parents.

1524
00:57:56,603 --> 00:57:57,560
You?

1525
00:57:58,213 --> 00:57:59,431
Army.

1526
00:57:59,431 --> 00:58:00,650
Combat?

1527
00:58:00,650 --> 00:58:02,173
- Cook.
- Ah!

1528
00:58:02,957 --> 00:58:04,349
Well, happy 4th to you.

1529
00:58:04,349 --> 00:58:07,135
You, too. <i>Salud.</i>

1530
00:58:07,135 --> 00:58:08,919
It's nice to have
another actual vet

1531
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:10,791
out here to celebrate.

1532
00:58:13,837 --> 00:58:15,012
Oh!

1533
00:58:29,505 --> 00:58:31,072
Hey.

1534
00:58:31,072 --> 00:58:32,639
- How's it going?
- I can't hear anything.

1535
00:58:32,639 --> 00:58:34,554
So they're either
getting along,

1536
00:58:34,554 --> 00:58:37,644
or they're
quietly stabbing
each other.

1537
00:58:37,644 --> 00:58:39,515
Listen, I have
great news.

1538
00:58:39,515 --> 00:58:41,517
- What's up?
- Okay. So,
that decorator

1539
00:58:41,517 --> 00:58:43,867
that bought all my work,
they've already
placed all the pieces.

1540
00:58:43,867 --> 00:58:45,565
They can't say where
for privacy reasons,

1541
00:58:45,565 --> 00:58:47,741
but it probably means
that they're gonna
want a lot more.

1542
00:58:47,741 --> 00:58:49,786
- That's great!
- Isn't it?

1543
00:58:49,786 --> 00:58:51,962
Wait. Why is
your voice going up?

1544
00:58:51,962 --> 00:58:53,007
Why does your face
look like that?

1545
00:58:53,007 --> 00:58:54,878
What's going on?

1546
00:58:54,878 --> 00:58:55,966
Listen, babe,

1547
00:58:55,966 --> 00:58:58,360
I...

1548
00:58:58,360 --> 00:58:59,753
Voila.

1549
00:59:01,537 --> 00:59:04,235
Oh, what...
What is this? What...

1550
00:59:05,497 --> 00:59:08,370
This isn't at all
what I asked
you to do.

1551
00:59:08,370 --> 00:59:11,678
Well, yeah.
You see, I don't
really do requests.

1552
00:59:11,678 --> 00:59:13,462
The way I work is,
I look at your face,

1553
00:59:13,462 --> 00:59:16,117
I get a sense
of your aura,
who you are,

1554
00:59:16,117 --> 00:59:17,901
then I let that
dictate the style

1555
00:59:17,901 --> 00:59:19,860
that your personality demands.

1556
00:59:19,860 --> 00:59:22,079
I am about
to go on television,

1557
00:59:22,079 --> 00:59:24,995
and I just...
I just wanted to
look like myself.

1558
00:59:24,995 --> 00:59:26,649
Oh!

1559
00:59:26,649 --> 00:59:28,869
Bill,
do I look horrible?

1560
00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:31,480
- No, no, no.
No?

1561
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,003
It is not
horrible. It's...

1562
00:59:33,003 --> 00:59:36,006
- Ellie?
- Um, I just
feel like...

1563
00:59:36,006 --> 00:59:38,139
- I don't know what it is.
- Dad, couldn't
you just ditch

1564
00:59:38,139 --> 00:59:40,141
the aura crap,
and give her
what she wanted?

1565
00:59:40,141 --> 00:59:42,012
Whoa! That's like
asking Caravaggio
to go back in,

1566
00:59:42,012 --> 00:59:43,797
and retouch up
the beheading
of Holofernes.

1567
00:59:43,797 --> 00:59:45,015
- The what a... Who?
- I don't do that.

1568
00:59:45,015 --> 00:59:46,538
Can we, as a family,
please force Doug

1569
00:59:46,538 --> 00:59:48,192
to stop wearing
that organic de...

1570
00:59:48,192 --> 00:59:50,151
Holy shit, Mom!

1571
00:59:50,151 --> 00:59:51,718
Oh.

1572
00:59:51,718 --> 00:59:53,241
Why do you have
the exact same
haircut as Salvo?

1573
00:59:53,241 --> 00:59:55,330
- That's it.
- Oh, my God.

1574
00:59:55,330 --> 00:59:56,461
- I don't think so.
You
guys look like

1575
00:59:56,461 --> 00:59:57,941
those weird
boy-girl twins

1576
00:59:57,941 --> 00:59:59,073
that, like,
just dress
the same.

1577
00:59:59,073 --> 01:00:00,857
Salvo, how could
you do this to me?

1578
01:00:00,857 --> 01:00:03,164
Wait, wait, wait.
First of all,
I didn't realize

1579
01:00:03,164 --> 01:00:04,556
I was doing anything.

1580
01:00:04,556 --> 01:00:06,994
I mean, to me,
you look powerful, gorgeous.

1581
01:00:06,994 --> 01:00:10,258
You look,
dare I even
say it, sexy.

1582
01:00:10,258 --> 01:00:11,346
Well, I am
supposed to go

1583
01:00:11,346 --> 01:00:12,913
on TV
in 10 minutes,

1584
01:00:12,913 --> 01:00:16,090
and you have made me look
like a bitter old Italian man!

1585
01:00:17,004 --> 01:00:18,919
Everybody,
please, get out.

1586
01:00:18,919 --> 01:00:21,008
Go, go, go,
go, go. Sweetheart.

1587
01:00:21,008 --> 01:00:23,271
Mommy,
maybe you...
Get out!

1588
01:00:23,271 --> 01:00:25,142
<i>With all due
respect, Chris,</i>

1589
01:00:25,142 --> 01:00:28,450
<i>the existing policy
has been working
for two decades.</i>

1590
01:00:28,450 --> 01:00:30,495
<i>Why change now?</i>

1591
01:00:30,495 --> 01:00:32,062
Ah, she's kicking ass.

1592
01:00:32,062 --> 01:00:33,673
She's pretty much
talking about you.

1593
01:00:33,673 --> 01:00:35,239
Oh, stop being so dramatic.

1594
01:00:35,239 --> 01:00:37,589
<i>You don't
just make
major decisions</i>

1595
01:00:37,589 --> 01:00:39,766
based on instincts.

1596
01:00:39,766 --> 01:00:41,115
You've gotta listen

1597
01:00:41,115 --> 01:00:42,464
to the people
you're servicing,

1598
01:00:42,464 --> 01:00:45,249
or someone's
gonna end
up dead.

1599
01:00:45,249 --> 01:00:46,903
<i>All right.</i>
Yeah. Well, okay.

1600
01:00:46,903 --> 01:00:48,122
Maybe you got a point.
<i>Uh,
Senator MacArthur,</i>

1601
01:00:48,122 --> 01:00:49,906
I'm actually...
I'm very sorry...

1602
01:00:49,906 --> 01:00:52,169
Sorry to cut
you short.
"Cut me short"?

1603
01:00:52,169 --> 01:00:54,128
Did you say
"cut me short"?

1604
01:00:54,128 --> 01:00:57,218
Is that some kind
of sick joke,
Chris, huh?

1605
01:00:58,306 --> 01:00:59,916
Uh, as you can see,

1606
01:00:59,916 --> 01:01:01,570
uh, very
strong feelings,

1607
01:01:01,570 --> 01:01:03,659
uh, coming out of this story.

1608
01:01:03,659 --> 01:01:06,009
We're gonna continue to follow
its developments for you.

1609
01:01:06,009 --> 01:01:08,272
Listen, when this is all over,
you better apologize.

1610
01:01:08,272 --> 01:01:09,709
Apologize?
For what?

1611
01:01:09,709 --> 01:01:11,145
For what?
She wanted
a touch up.

1612
01:01:11,145 --> 01:01:12,407
You made her look
like David Bowie.

1613
01:01:12,407 --> 01:01:14,278
What? Are you
kidding me?
I gave her a 'do

1614
01:01:14,278 --> 01:01:15,758
that was very
age appropriate

1615
01:01:15,758 --> 01:01:18,369
and dignified.
She should
be thanking me.

1616
01:01:18,369 --> 01:01:19,849
I wouldn't hold
my breath, Salvo.

1617
01:01:19,849 --> 01:01:21,155
Oh, is she really pissed off?

1618
01:01:21,590 --> 01:01:22,896
When I left,

1619
01:01:22,896 --> 01:01:24,811
she was googling
homemade poisons.

1620
01:01:24,811 --> 01:01:26,421
I don't know
if it was for Salvo
or for herself.

1621
01:01:26,421 --> 01:01:28,075
- Oh.
- I don't get it.

1622
01:01:28,075 --> 01:01:30,512
Most women would be honored
to have their hair done

1623
01:01:30,512 --> 01:01:33,776
by East Chicago's three-time
Hair Stylist of the Year.

1624
01:01:33,776 --> 01:01:35,430
That was in the 80's.

1625
01:01:35,430 --> 01:01:37,301
The 80's. So what?
That's the golden age
of hair.

1626
01:01:41,088 --> 01:01:43,003
Hi, Mom.

1627
01:01:43,003 --> 01:01:44,526
Would you go
talk to her?
Say something?

1628
01:01:44,526 --> 01:01:45,657
What am
I going to say?

1629
01:01:45,657 --> 01:01:47,181
Just say something,
all right?

1630
01:01:47,964 --> 01:01:49,313
Hey, uh, Tig.

1631
01:01:49,313 --> 01:01:51,185
Tig? Uh...

1632
01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:53,665
Tigger. Tigger,
I just want

1633
01:01:53,665 --> 01:01:55,276
to say
you looked
so good

1634
01:01:55,276 --> 01:01:56,668
up there
on the box.

1635
01:01:56,668 --> 01:01:58,845
Really, really.
Very, very dignified.

1636
01:01:58,845 --> 01:02:00,150
"On the box?"

1637
01:02:00,150 --> 01:02:03,588
Get on your feet,
and go over there.

1638
01:02:03,588 --> 01:02:05,068
- All right?
- All right.

1639
01:02:05,068 --> 01:02:06,635
Uh, Tig, uh...

1640
01:02:07,375 --> 01:02:09,029
I just wanna...

1641
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:11,901
tell you I'm sorry

1642
01:02:11,901 --> 01:02:14,904
for giving you
a very high-quality hairdo

1643
01:02:14,904 --> 01:02:16,340
without your permission.

1644
01:02:17,472 --> 01:02:19,387
I heard the word "sorry."

1645
01:02:19,387 --> 01:02:21,345
But then you followed it up

1646
01:02:21,345 --> 01:02:23,913
with a compliment
to yourself.

1647
01:02:23,913 --> 01:02:25,828
Well, if I'm being
honest, I never
gave that style

1648
01:02:25,828 --> 01:02:27,917
to anybody else before.

1649
01:02:27,917 --> 01:02:29,397
So I really think

1650
01:02:29,397 --> 01:02:30,877
your aura commands
the respect

1651
01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:32,704
that I typically
only reserve for myself.

1652
01:02:32,704 --> 01:02:35,838
So I am sorry
that I, you know,

1653
01:02:35,838 --> 01:02:38,058
didn't do exactly
what you asked for.

1654
01:02:38,754 --> 01:02:39,799
Thanks.

1655
01:02:49,504 --> 01:02:50,722
You know?
Hey, you know what?

1656
01:02:50,722 --> 01:02:52,812
Let... Let me make

1657
01:02:52,812 --> 01:02:54,596
an offer. I would
love to make

1658
01:02:54,596 --> 01:02:57,947
a full Italian dinner
for everybody.

1659
01:02:57,947 --> 01:02:59,253
- That sounds so nice.
- How about that?

1660
01:02:59,253 --> 01:03:00,645
And also
as a thank you,

1661
01:03:00,645 --> 01:03:02,343
and with great appreciation,

1662
01:03:02,343 --> 01:03:04,911
for letting us stay
in this beautiful home.

1663
01:03:04,911 --> 01:03:06,477
That won't be necessary.

1664
01:03:06,477 --> 01:03:08,349
We don't keep
a lot of food here

1665
01:03:08,349 --> 01:03:10,830
and the markets are
closed for the holiday.

1666
01:03:10,830 --> 01:03:12,179
Don't worry.

1667
01:03:12,179 --> 01:03:14,050
A Maniscalco
always finds a way

1668
01:03:14,050 --> 01:03:15,486
to feed
his family, right?

1669
01:03:15,486 --> 01:03:17,053
Yep. You got it.

1670
01:03:17,053 --> 01:03:18,663
I think it's
a wonderful idea.

1671
01:03:18,663 --> 01:03:20,535
I mean, if you look
like an Italian man,

1672
01:03:20,535 --> 01:03:22,363
why not eat like one,
huh?

1673
01:03:22,363 --> 01:03:24,191
No, I mean,
if you...
I meant Italian...

1674
01:03:24,191 --> 01:03:25,845
Shut up, Bill.

1675
01:03:25,845 --> 01:03:28,456
I'll be sleeping
on the couch tonight.

1676
01:03:35,332 --> 01:03:36,464
<i>Everybody likes to talk</i>

1677
01:03:36,464 --> 01:03:38,945
<i>about how bad
social media is.</i>

1678
01:03:44,211 --> 01:03:45,386
<i>But in this case,</i>

1679
01:03:45,386 --> 01:03:48,041
<i>it really worked out
for my dad.</i>

1680
01:03:48,041 --> 01:03:50,652
Senator Tigger MacArthur
is going viral today,

1681
01:03:50,652 --> 01:03:53,307
and for the first time,
for all the right reasons.

1682
01:03:53,307 --> 01:03:55,483
<i>This new haircut
is giving me like...</i>

1683
01:03:55,483 --> 01:03:57,267
G.I. Jane two months
out of boot camp.

1684
01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:58,878
<i>It's giving me
gender fluidity.</i>

1685
01:03:58,878 --> 01:04:00,749
It's giving me fresh,
hot, gorgeous.

1686
01:04:00,749 --> 01:04:02,011
Whoever did that haircut,

1687
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,276
America thanks you. Ah!

1688
01:04:06,276 --> 01:04:09,018
<i>Now that
Tigger's approval rating
was through the roof,</i>

1689
01:04:09,018 --> 01:04:11,934
<i>she was happy to let
my dad back under hers.</i>

1690
01:04:11,934 --> 01:04:15,329
So good.
So, this is delicious.

1691
01:04:15,329 --> 01:04:16,983
I can't believe

1692
01:04:16,983 --> 01:04:18,245
that you put
this all together

1693
01:04:18,245 --> 01:04:19,986
from what we have
in the kitchen.

1694
01:04:19,986 --> 01:04:22,205
My guess is he raided
the kitchen over at The Shack.

1695
01:04:22,205 --> 01:04:24,120
So, you might wanna call

1696
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,209
Gloria over there,
see if you got
some inventory.

1697
01:04:26,906 --> 01:04:28,342
Mmm, mmm.

1698
01:04:28,342 --> 01:04:29,865
What do you call
this again, Salvo?

1699
01:04:35,566 --> 01:04:36,872
It is delicious.

1700
01:04:36,872 --> 01:04:38,743
I'm going for seconds.
Don't tell my trainer.

1701
01:04:38,743 --> 01:04:41,529
It's really good.
I just wish you hadn't used
my bowls.

1702
01:04:41,529 --> 01:04:43,661
Well, you know,
I used your bowls, Doug,

1703
01:04:43,661 --> 01:04:46,229
because I wanted
to add a special

1704
01:04:46,229 --> 01:04:49,754
spiritual reverberation
to the meal.

1705
01:04:49,754 --> 01:04:52,061
So, that's why,
- you know?
- Okay.

1706
01:04:52,061 --> 01:04:53,889
- Yeah.
- So, thank you

1707
01:04:53,889 --> 01:04:55,412
for that
- contribution.
- Okay.

1708
01:04:55,412 --> 01:04:57,501
Salvo, it's delicious.
Delicious.

1709
01:04:57,501 --> 01:04:59,242
Listen, given everything
you're doing for my son,

1710
01:04:59,242 --> 01:05:00,852
this is the least
I can do. Oh.

1711
01:05:00,852 --> 01:05:03,681
And I just wanna
say something that

1712
01:05:04,465 --> 01:05:05,814
my father used to say.

1713
01:05:09,774 --> 01:05:11,037
The translation is,

1714
01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:13,039
"The family isn't
just one important thing,

1715
01:05:13,039 --> 01:05:14,823
"it's everything."

1716
01:05:14,823 --> 01:05:16,956
And I like
to toast to that.
Lovely.

1717
01:05:16,956 --> 01:05:18,870
<i>Salud!</i>
<i>Salud!</i>

1718
01:05:18,870 --> 01:05:20,960
To everything. <i>Salud.</i>

1719
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:22,570
- Cheers, everybody.
Well said.

1720
01:05:22,570 --> 01:05:23,875
Watch it, watch it.

1721
01:05:23,875 --> 01:05:25,355
Oh, collision!

1722
01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:27,053
Cut him off.
- Time for some
more vino, huh?

1723
01:05:27,053 --> 01:05:29,098
Oh, yes.
- When in Rome.

1724
01:05:29,098 --> 01:05:30,186
Because,
you know,

1725
01:05:30,186 --> 01:05:31,405
you guys
are Italian.

1726
01:05:33,842 --> 01:05:36,410
You got a problem
- with Italians, Bill?
- Yeah, Bill.

1727
01:05:41,589 --> 01:05:44,287
Who got you?
Come on, Bill!

1728
01:05:44,287 --> 01:05:46,028
I thought he was
serious.

1729
01:05:57,213 --> 01:05:58,998
What's this?

1730
01:05:58,998 --> 01:06:00,303
You know, just...

1731
01:06:00,303 --> 01:06:01,913
...the sexiest way
I can think of

1732
01:06:01,913 --> 01:06:03,176
to say thank you.

1733
01:06:03,176 --> 01:06:04,394
Here? Are you
kidding me?

1734
01:06:04,394 --> 01:06:05,874
They're in
the next room.

1735
01:06:05,874 --> 01:06:07,919
You know
I'm a screamer.
I know.

1736
01:06:07,919 --> 01:06:09,095
Just come
over here.

1737
01:06:12,098 --> 01:06:14,448
Oh! Oh, yeah.

1738
01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:21,629
Hmm?

1739
01:06:23,935 --> 01:06:25,502
What, baby? What?
- Oh, we got
to go inside.

1740
01:06:25,502 --> 01:06:27,852
- I'm getting eaten alive.
- What? What are
you talking about?

1741
01:06:27,852 --> 01:06:29,028
- I saw a raccoon.
- Is that a safe word?

1742
01:06:29,028 --> 01:06:29,985
There's raccoons everywhere.
Raccoon?

1743
01:06:29,985 --> 01:06:31,769
- Yeah.
- Where? What raccoon?

1744
01:06:31,769 --> 01:06:33,728
There's
- some wildlife.
- Honey, there's no raccoons.

1745
01:06:33,728 --> 01:06:35,251
Mmm.

1746
01:06:35,251 --> 01:06:37,819
<i>Seeing
my future in-laws eat</i>

1747
01:06:37,819 --> 01:06:41,562
<i>their family pet is
is as close to an acid trip</i>

1748
01:06:41,562 --> 01:06:43,303
<i>as I ever wanna be.</i>

1749
01:06:43,303 --> 01:06:44,869
Here comes the airplane.

1750
01:06:46,610 --> 01:06:48,525
Ah, no!

1751
01:06:48,525 --> 01:06:51,093
This Italian food's
going to my head.

1752
01:06:59,754 --> 01:07:03,801
<i>This was proof
the man was diabolical.</i>

1753
01:07:03,801 --> 01:07:05,760
I murdered Sergeant Feathers.

1754
01:07:12,462 --> 01:07:14,682
I can't believe

1755
01:07:14,682 --> 01:07:15,813
you fed 'em
a peacock.

1756
01:07:15,813 --> 01:07:17,467
How could
you do this?
Easy.

1757
01:07:17,467 --> 01:07:19,730
My recipe called for chicken.
All the stores were closed.

1758
01:07:19,730 --> 01:07:21,906
So what does a great chef do?
He improvises.

1759
01:07:21,906 --> 01:07:23,691
By murdering
their beloved mascot?

1760
01:07:23,691 --> 01:07:25,910
They still got
three left. Are
you kidding me?

1761
01:07:25,910 --> 01:07:27,434
Where we come from,
it's called,

1762
01:07:27,434 --> 01:07:28,783
"You gotta do what you gotta
do to feed the family."

1763
01:07:28,783 --> 01:07:30,567
It's called
the peasant mentality.

1764
01:07:30,567 --> 01:07:31,786
Look around, Dad.

1765
01:07:31,786 --> 01:07:32,830
These people
aren't peasants.

1766
01:07:32,830 --> 01:07:34,049
And you thought
I was crazy

1767
01:07:34,049 --> 01:07:35,355
for worrying
that you were gonna

1768
01:07:35,355 --> 01:07:37,966
make us look like
some bad Italian stereotype?

1769
01:07:37,966 --> 01:07:39,837
Come on. You know
I'm not doing that.

1770
01:07:39,837 --> 01:07:41,578
Are you blind? Look at...

1771
01:07:41,578 --> 01:07:43,058
We are
in the woods

1772
01:07:43,058 --> 01:07:44,451
in the middle
of the night

1773
01:07:44,451 --> 01:07:46,931
trying to get rid
of a freakin' body.

1774
01:07:46,931 --> 01:07:48,063
That's right.

1775
01:07:48,063 --> 01:07:49,847
To help me get
rid of the evidence.

1776
01:07:49,847 --> 01:07:51,632
Why does it seem like
you've done this before?

1777
01:07:54,374 --> 01:07:55,636
- Stupid bird!
- It's dead!

1778
01:07:55,636 --> 01:07:56,811
What are
you doing?

1779
01:07:56,811 --> 01:07:58,160
Look at
its feathers.

1780
01:08:04,993 --> 01:08:06,081
Night cologne?

1781
01:08:16,265 --> 01:08:18,485
Listen, son,

1782
01:08:18,485 --> 01:08:21,314
I was just trying
to help you win
this family over

1783
01:08:21,314 --> 01:08:23,794
by making
a good meal,
that's all.

1784
01:08:23,794 --> 01:08:25,100
Well, if this is
your idea of help,

1785
01:08:25,100 --> 01:08:26,319
I think I'm good, Dad.

1786
01:08:26,797 --> 01:08:28,799
Jesus.

1787
01:08:28,799 --> 01:08:29,931
Why do I feel
like you're trying

1788
01:08:29,931 --> 01:08:31,411
to wreck this
for me?
Wreck it?

1789
01:08:31,411 --> 01:08:33,587
I'm just making an effort
like you asked me to do.

1790
01:08:33,587 --> 01:08:34,849
Well, it turns out
the only thing worse

1791
01:08:34,849 --> 01:08:37,460
than you not trying
is you trying.

1792
01:08:37,460 --> 01:08:39,723
Well, maybe to you,
but to me, these people,

1793
01:08:39,723 --> 01:08:41,377
they seem
to like me.
Like you?

1794
01:08:41,377 --> 01:08:43,727
If I told these people
the truth about what happened,

1795
01:08:43,727 --> 01:08:44,946
they'd never
have us back here.

1796
01:08:48,863 --> 01:08:51,692
You know, why did
I let Ellie convince me
to bring you here?

1797
01:08:51,692 --> 01:08:53,128
What do you mean,
"bring me here"?

1798
01:08:53,128 --> 01:08:54,738
You're the one
who invited me,
didn't you?

1799
01:08:54,738 --> 01:08:57,045
Yeah, I invited you
to get grandma's ring.

1800
01:08:57,045 --> 01:08:59,439
I didn't know you were
gonna spend the whole time
sabotaging me.

1801
01:08:59,439 --> 01:09:01,049
What are you
talking about,
"sabotaging"?

1802
01:09:01,049 --> 01:09:02,485
How could you say that?

1803
01:09:02,485 --> 01:09:04,008
Everything I'm
doing for you,

1804
01:09:04,008 --> 01:09:06,272
that I've ever done
for you is for
your own good,

1805
01:09:06,272 --> 01:09:07,882
to give you
a better life.

1806
01:09:07,882 --> 01:09:09,710
You love to say that,
but now that
I'm gonna get it,

1807
01:09:09,710 --> 01:09:11,320
it's like you're
trying to stop it.

1808
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:13,148
Trying to
stop what?

1809
01:09:13,148 --> 01:09:14,584
I'm trying to make sure
that you don't make
an ass out of yourself

1810
01:09:14,584 --> 01:09:16,064
by trying to be
somebody you're not.

1811
01:09:16,064 --> 01:09:17,239
You're your own person.

1812
01:09:17,239 --> 01:09:18,762
You're your own man.
Be your own man.

1813
01:09:18,762 --> 01:09:20,634
Otherwise,
it's embarrassing.

1814
01:09:20,634 --> 01:09:22,113
Oh, man.
You know what?

1815
01:09:22,113 --> 01:09:24,072
This is your problem.
You're so focused

1816
01:09:24,072 --> 01:09:26,466
on other people
being embarrassed,

1817
01:09:26,466 --> 01:09:29,425
you can't see who
the most embarrassing
person is.

1818
01:09:29,425 --> 01:09:30,557
It's you.

1819
01:09:32,167 --> 01:09:34,169
That's really
what you think?

1820
01:09:38,086 --> 01:09:39,783
Let's just go
to sleep,
all right?

1821
01:10:15,776 --> 01:10:18,866
<i>The next morning,
it was the 4th of July,</i>

1822
01:10:18,866 --> 01:10:20,215
<i>which made sense,
'cause I was</i>

1823
01:10:20,215 --> 01:10:22,957
<i>finally getting
my independence.</i>

1824
01:10:22,957 --> 01:10:25,438
<i>It was an amazing feeling.</i>

1825
01:10:25,438 --> 01:10:28,049
<i>But much like
my signature scent,</i>

1826
01:10:28,049 --> 01:10:29,572
<i>it was a little bittersweet.</i>

1827
01:10:31,618 --> 01:10:33,794
<i>But this was
the beginning of my new life.</i>

1828
01:10:34,751 --> 01:10:37,058
<i>And now that I had the ring,</i>

1829
01:10:37,058 --> 01:10:38,755
<i>it was time to make my move.</i>

1830
01:10:44,935 --> 01:10:46,502
I've given this
a lot of thought

1831
01:10:46,502 --> 01:10:48,156
over the last
few days,

1832
01:10:48,156 --> 01:10:50,419
and on top
of accepting

1833
01:10:50,419 --> 01:10:52,552
your very generous offer

1834
01:10:52,552 --> 01:10:55,250
to run the Barrymore Hotel,

1835
01:10:55,250 --> 01:10:58,253
I would also like
to ask your permission

1836
01:10:58,253 --> 01:11:00,386
to propose to Ellie.

1837
01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:04,128
Oh.

1838
01:11:04,128 --> 01:11:06,130
Ah, that doesn't...

1839
01:11:07,306 --> 01:11:08,698
I...

1840
01:11:11,048 --> 01:11:13,050
We're kidding!

1841
01:11:14,878 --> 01:11:16,706
- We got him.
- Ho! You
should've seen

1842
01:11:16,706 --> 01:11:19,535
the look
on your face. Priceless.

1843
01:11:19,535 --> 01:11:21,276
Our answer is
an emphatic...

1844
01:11:21,276 --> 01:11:23,147
Yes!
- Oh, God.

1845
01:11:23,147 --> 01:11:25,846
Gee, Sebastian,
we just love you.

1846
01:11:25,846 --> 01:11:27,413
And we just...
We cannot

1847
01:11:27,413 --> 01:11:29,110
wait for you
and Ellie

1848
01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:30,807
to join the party
in D.C.

1849
01:11:30,807 --> 01:11:33,244
Yes.
And this is perfect.

1850
01:11:33,244 --> 01:11:36,247
We're doing our family
Christmas card photo today.

1851
01:11:36,247 --> 01:11:38,641
You can propose there,
and then be in it!

1852
01:11:38,641 --> 01:11:41,731
Oh, thank God.
I was so nervous

1853
01:11:41,731 --> 01:11:43,951
how you guys would react
to this, you know?

1854
01:11:43,951 --> 01:11:46,345
Especially, what's happened
this weekend with my father.

1855
01:11:46,345 --> 01:11:49,348
No. That dinner
was wonderful.

1856
01:11:52,655 --> 01:11:54,570
-  Yeah.
- Fantastic. Memorable.

1857
01:11:54,570 --> 01:11:56,311
Chicken <i>al cavone.</i>

1858
01:11:56,311 --> 01:11:58,400
Fantastic.

1859
01:11:58,400 --> 01:11:59,532
- Never had it.
Terrific.

1860
01:11:59,532 --> 01:12:00,968
Yes.
- Don't know what's in it.

1861
01:12:02,491 --> 01:12:04,188
What the hell kind
of elf are you
supposed to be?

1862
01:12:04,188 --> 01:12:07,278
I'm representing
all the holiday traditions.

1863
01:12:07,278 --> 01:12:08,802
Nice.

1864
01:12:08,802 --> 01:12:10,238
You're as plump
as a little partridge.

1865
01:12:10,238 --> 01:12:12,675
Yes.

1866
01:12:12,675 --> 01:12:14,373
Oh, oh.

1867
01:12:14,373 --> 01:12:15,722
Hey, you fit
right in.

1868
01:12:15,722 --> 01:12:17,071
Uh, I don't know.

1869
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:18,420
Can I propose first

1870
01:12:18,420 --> 01:12:19,987
and then put on
the tree costume?

1871
01:12:21,205 --> 01:12:22,685
What's
- the difference?
- Oh, E... Ellie.

1872
01:12:22,685 --> 01:12:24,644
Ellie, where's
your costume?
We... We can't

1873
01:12:24,644 --> 01:12:25,862
do this without
our reindeer.

1874
01:12:25,862 --> 01:12:27,429
I'm sorry, but I'm
not gonna be taking

1875
01:12:27,429 --> 01:12:29,300
the photo this year,
because I no longer

1876
01:12:29,300 --> 01:12:30,519
wanna be a part
of this family.

1877
01:12:30,519 --> 01:12:33,043
Also, Sebastian
isn't taking the job,

1878
01:12:33,043 --> 01:12:34,871
we are not
moving to D.C.

1879
01:12:34,871 --> 01:12:36,264
and we're not gonna
spend any more time

1880
01:12:36,264 --> 01:12:37,961
with these manipulators.
So, let's go.

1881
01:12:37,961 --> 01:12:39,833
- What happened?
- What's happened?

1882
01:12:39,833 --> 01:12:42,531
Dad, what do all
of your hotels
have in common?

1883
01:12:42,531 --> 01:12:44,968
Five-star experience
at a three-star price.

1884
01:12:44,968 --> 01:12:48,102
No. The answer is

1885
01:12:48,102 --> 01:12:49,756
their lobby art.

1886
01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:50,887
- Oh.
- Shall we start

1887
01:12:50,887 --> 01:12:52,323
with the Barrymore
Hotel?
Uh-oh.

1888
01:12:52,323 --> 01:12:54,021
- Shall we? Come on.
- No, I don't
need to see...

1889
01:12:54,021 --> 01:12:56,415
Oh, look.
Do you notice
anything familiar

1890
01:12:56,415 --> 01:12:57,851
- about the walls?
- Well, no.

1891
01:12:57,851 --> 01:12:59,635
That's
my painting,
isn't it?

1892
01:12:59,635 --> 01:13:01,376
Well,
what's that?
My painting.

1893
01:13:01,376 --> 01:13:02,638
My painting.

1894
01:13:02,638 --> 01:13:04,771
Oh, yeah,
my painting.
All right.

1895
01:13:04,771 --> 01:13:07,121
It was
your dad's idea!

1896
01:13:07,121 --> 01:13:08,514
- Wait. Just wait.
- It was
your dad's idea.

1897
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:10,124
No. One second here.
It was him.

1898
01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:11,647
I just wanna know
how you found out.

1899
01:13:11,647 --> 01:13:13,214
Sebastian,
did you tell her?

1900
01:13:14,998 --> 01:13:15,999
What?

1901
01:13:16,783 --> 01:13:18,219
You knew
about this?

1902
01:13:19,699 --> 01:13:22,963
Well, no,
I kind of saw...

1903
01:13:22,963 --> 01:13:25,356
I can't believe that
you all did this to me.

1904
01:13:25,356 --> 01:13:27,271
Ellie, we can explain.

1905
01:13:27,271 --> 01:13:28,664
- We can explain.
- No, Mom!

1906
01:13:28,664 --> 01:13:31,493
This whole time
I thought I was
selling my art

1907
01:13:31,493 --> 01:13:33,452
to this cool new designer,

1908
01:13:33,452 --> 01:13:35,628
when really
my parents
just hired them

1909
01:13:35,628 --> 01:13:36,716
to buy my work.

1910
01:13:36,716 --> 01:13:37,934
No, no, no, darling.

1911
01:13:37,934 --> 01:13:39,283
No, that's
not... No.

1912
01:13:39,283 --> 01:13:41,851
Yes. Yes, that is
technically true.

1913
01:13:41,851 --> 01:13:44,158
I thought
I was killing it
in the art world!

1914
01:13:44,158 --> 01:13:46,073
We just wanted you
to get a jump-start

1915
01:13:46,073 --> 01:13:47,901
in a really,
really rough business.

1916
01:13:47,901 --> 01:13:49,337
It's so terrible
out there.
You know how rough it is.

1917
01:13:49,337 --> 01:13:50,730
It's what you
always do.
You're always...

1918
01:13:50,730 --> 01:13:52,035
You're just stealing
our lessons.

1919
01:13:52,035 --> 01:13:54,473
You bribe our way
onto sports teams,

1920
01:13:54,473 --> 01:13:56,257
you rewrite
our college essays,

1921
01:13:56,257 --> 01:13:58,172
you hire famous rappers

1922
01:13:58,172 --> 01:13:59,695
to emcee
our birthday parties.

1923
01:13:59,695 --> 01:14:01,218
That was also
- not my idea.
- Okay. So what?

1924
01:14:01,218 --> 01:14:02,568
Now you don't
like Warren G?

1925
01:14:02,568 --> 01:14:03,917
Look, you guys are
great parents.

1926
01:14:03,917 --> 01:14:06,049
Don't let her guilt you
into changing your ways.

1927
01:14:06,049 --> 01:14:07,964
All I have ever wanted
was to feel like

1928
01:14:07,964 --> 01:14:10,314
I was accomplishing
things on my own.

1929
01:14:12,229 --> 01:14:13,709
And I can't believe
that you just didn't

1930
01:14:13,709 --> 01:14:14,841
say something to me.

1931
01:14:16,930 --> 01:14:18,758
Sweetheart, we, um...

1932
01:14:18,758 --> 01:14:21,456
Oh, my gosh.
I told you.
Well, yeah.

1933
01:14:26,330 --> 01:14:27,941
<i>I'd been
so focused on trying</i>

1934
01:14:27,941 --> 01:14:29,986
<i>to please Ellie's family,</i>

1935
01:14:29,986 --> 01:14:32,728
<i>that I lost sight
of what I came here to do.</i>

1936
01:14:32,728 --> 01:14:35,862
<i>I had to find Ellie
and make this right.</i>

1937
01:14:35,862 --> 01:14:38,473
<i>And I knew exactly
where she'd be.</i>

1938
01:14:38,473 --> 01:14:39,866
Permission
to approach?

1939
01:14:59,233 --> 01:15:00,800
Place could use
a remodel, huh?

1940
01:15:06,414 --> 01:15:08,242
I'm sorry.

1941
01:15:08,242 --> 01:15:09,635
I should've said something.

1942
01:15:10,549 --> 01:15:11,898
Yeah, you should have.

1943
01:15:13,943 --> 01:15:16,424
Is there anything I could do
to make it up to you?

1944
01:15:16,424 --> 01:15:19,775
Just being in this family

1945
01:15:19,775 --> 01:15:22,038
is like bowling
with bumpers.

1946
01:15:22,038 --> 01:15:23,387
It's like,

1947
01:15:23,387 --> 01:15:25,651
no matter what I try to do,

1948
01:15:25,651 --> 01:15:27,217
they're always
setting up rails

1949
01:15:27,217 --> 01:15:28,567
to make sure that I win.

1950
01:15:28,567 --> 01:15:31,439
And sometimes,
I just want to free bowl,

1951
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:32,745
because then,
that way

1952
01:15:32,745 --> 01:15:36,444
if I bowl a strike,
then that's my strike.

1953
01:15:36,444 --> 01:15:38,489
But if I gutter it,
then that's on me too.

1954
01:15:38,489 --> 01:15:39,839
I understand.

1955
01:15:39,839 --> 01:15:42,145
You want to work hard
for your own success.

1956
01:15:42,145 --> 01:15:43,756
Yes.

1957
01:15:43,756 --> 01:15:46,106
Do you remember
when you told me
the story

1958
01:15:46,106 --> 01:15:48,282
about how Salvo taught
you how to swim?

1959
01:15:48,282 --> 01:15:50,893
He dropped me in the middle
of Lake Michigan in November.

1960
01:15:52,895 --> 01:15:55,028
Listen, I know
he's a pain in the ass,

1961
01:15:56,638 --> 01:15:59,641
but he also raised you
to be tough and resourceful.

1962
01:15:59,641 --> 01:16:02,470
And those are two things
I really love about you.

1963
01:16:04,254 --> 01:16:05,778
And I kind of wish
that my parents had

1964
01:16:05,778 --> 01:16:07,301
raised me more like that.

1965
01:16:08,824 --> 01:16:10,130
<i>And that was the moment</i>

1966
01:16:10,130 --> 01:16:13,612
<i>everything finally started
to make sense.</i>

1967
01:16:13,612 --> 01:16:15,744
<i>Here I was,
planning to propose</i>

1968
01:16:15,744 --> 01:16:18,355
<i>to the girl of my dreams,</i>

1969
01:16:18,355 --> 01:16:22,664
<i>and I was gonna do it
without the man who raised me?</i>

1970
01:16:22,664 --> 01:16:25,536
<i>I realized
I had everything I wanted,</i>

1971
01:16:25,536 --> 01:16:27,495
<i>but not what I needed.</i>

1972
01:16:27,495 --> 01:16:28,670
I gotta go
do something first.

1973
01:16:30,237 --> 01:16:31,325
What? What?

1974
01:16:31,325 --> 01:16:33,022
Trust me.
Meet me
at dinner.

1975
01:16:35,590 --> 01:16:37,113
How's he doing
back there?

1976
01:16:40,203 --> 01:16:42,075
Keep going,
- bro, I'm fine.
Okay.

1977
01:16:45,295 --> 01:16:47,471
There it is. That's it.

1978
01:16:47,471 --> 01:16:49,082
I got you, <i>mi hermano.</i>

1979
01:16:50,649 --> 01:16:51,780
You go get him.

1980
01:16:54,522 --> 01:16:56,872
Hey, stop!
You can't be out here!

1981
01:16:56,872 --> 01:17:00,093
Sir, you have
to get off the tarmac! Sir!

1982
01:17:00,093 --> 01:17:01,529
Stop the plane.

1983
01:17:15,630 --> 01:17:16,675
Son...

1984
01:17:18,241 --> 01:17:19,678
what are you doing?

1985
01:17:19,678 --> 01:17:21,418
You look like
you swam here.

1986
01:17:21,418 --> 01:17:23,116
I came here
to tell you

1987
01:17:23,116 --> 01:17:24,683
that you're
stubborn,
you're cheap,

1988
01:17:25,335 --> 01:17:27,033
you're obnoxious,

1989
01:17:27,033 --> 01:17:28,382
you're severely judgmental...

1990
01:17:28,382 --> 01:17:29,470
Wait, wait.
This is what

1991
01:17:29,470 --> 01:17:30,689
I'm getting off
the plane for?

1992
01:17:30,689 --> 01:17:32,299
Dad, but the truth is

1993
01:17:32,299 --> 01:17:35,606
all those quirks are
part of what makes you
the greatest dad

1994
01:17:35,606 --> 01:17:36,956
that I could
ever hope for.

1995
01:17:38,479 --> 01:17:40,307
Okay. Now
I'm listening.

1996
01:17:40,307 --> 01:17:42,265
Now, it ain't
always easy
being your son,

1997
01:17:42,265 --> 01:17:45,747
but the way you raised me
made me the man I am today.

1998
01:17:45,747 --> 01:17:48,358
The same man,
for whatever the reason,

1999
01:17:48,358 --> 01:17:50,099
Ellie seems to love.

2000
01:17:50,099 --> 01:17:52,406
Could never figure
that one out, either,
but you know...

2001
01:17:52,406 --> 01:17:53,494
You got your
grandmother's ring.

2002
01:17:53,494 --> 01:17:54,713
What else
you need
from me?

2003
01:17:54,713 --> 01:17:57,193
I need you to be part
of our lives, Dad.

2004
01:17:57,193 --> 01:17:58,542
But you said
I was embarrassing.

2005
01:17:58,542 --> 01:18:00,022
You are.

2006
01:18:00,022 --> 01:18:01,676
You haven't
changed one bit
since I was a kid.

2007
01:18:01,676 --> 01:18:03,678
You know who did?
I changed.

2008
01:18:03,678 --> 01:18:05,419
And I think somewhere
along the way,

2009
01:18:06,202 --> 01:18:07,464
I forgot.

2010
01:18:08,596 --> 01:18:10,250
You're my hero, man.

2011
01:18:12,121 --> 01:18:15,081
- Stop.
- No. You are.

2012
01:18:15,081 --> 01:18:16,822
All the stuff
you sacrifice.

2013
01:18:16,822 --> 01:18:19,259
Everything that's
good in my life,
I owe it to you.

2014
01:18:20,173 --> 01:18:22,001
No. It's... it's...

2015
01:18:22,001 --> 01:18:24,786
It's that good things
happen to good kids.

2016
01:18:24,786 --> 01:18:26,353
You're a good boy.

2017
01:18:26,353 --> 01:18:28,790
It's just that
I've been acting
crazier lately,

2018
01:18:28,790 --> 01:18:30,792
because... I... I...

2019
01:18:30,792 --> 01:18:33,839
I was so poor,
for me to give you
a better life,

2020
01:18:33,839 --> 01:18:35,318
and now that
you're going to have it,

2021
01:18:35,318 --> 01:18:38,147
and I'm afraid that
once you marry Ellie,

2022
01:18:38,147 --> 01:18:40,410
I'm gonna lose
the only family I got.

2023
01:18:40,410 --> 01:18:42,021
Oh, Dad, you're
not gonna lose me.
Don't worry.

2024
01:18:42,021 --> 01:18:43,674
Stop... don't cry, Dad.

2025
01:18:43,674 --> 01:18:45,415
You're going
to make me cry.
Well, I can't help it.

2026
01:18:46,242 --> 01:18:48,027
I love you, man.

2027
01:18:48,027 --> 01:18:49,289
- I love you, Dad.
- I love you too, kid.

2028
01:18:49,289 --> 01:18:50,464
Love you.

2029
01:18:58,124 --> 01:19:00,039
Are you crying?

2030
01:19:00,039 --> 01:19:01,257
- What?
- Are you crying?

2031
01:19:01,257 --> 01:19:02,693
Hell, no.

2032
01:19:02,693 --> 01:19:05,131
I never cry!

2033
01:19:15,794 --> 01:19:16,882
Wow!

2034
01:19:18,231 --> 01:19:20,146
I don't know
why I was
so scared.

2035
01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:23,584
This is really beautiful.
Yeah.

2036
01:19:25,020 --> 01:19:26,326
Oh, my God!
We're going down!

2037
01:19:26,326 --> 01:19:27,762
- Oh, my God!
- I'm just kidding.

2038
01:19:27,762 --> 01:19:29,720
I'm going
to kill you, Luck!

2039
01:19:35,291 --> 01:19:36,727
<i>Ladies
and gentlemen, welcome</i>

2040
01:19:36,727 --> 01:19:38,904
<i>to this year's
4th of July clambake.</i>

2041
01:19:38,904 --> 01:19:40,688
Well, so far,

2042
01:19:40,688 --> 01:19:42,821
a very
pleasant evening.

2043
01:19:42,821 --> 01:19:45,127
Mmm-hmm.
- Thank you,
my darling.

2044
01:19:45,127 --> 01:19:46,607
Such a treat.

2045
01:19:46,607 --> 01:19:49,305
Hats off to that
new chef, huh?

2046
01:19:49,305 --> 01:19:52,091
Outstanding.
Of course, you can't
go wrong with lobster.

2047
01:19:52,091 --> 01:19:53,266
Oh, sweetie,

2048
01:19:53,266 --> 01:19:55,137
did you lose
your appetite?

2049
01:19:55,137 --> 01:19:56,138
Do you wanna
buy me one?

2050
01:19:58,749 --> 01:20:00,229
<i>All right,
ladies and gentlemen.</i>

2051
01:20:00,229 --> 01:20:02,275
<i>I hope you brought
your dancing shoes tonight...</i>

2052
01:20:02,275 --> 01:20:03,711
<i>Because...</i>

2053
01:20:03,711 --> 01:20:06,018
<i>Thank you, Mr. Woodrow.
Because we've got a real treat</i>

2054
01:20:06,018 --> 01:20:07,628
<i>for you guys tonight.</i>

2055
01:20:07,628 --> 01:20:10,413
<i>Please welcome, all the way
from Chicago, Illinois,</i>

2056
01:20:10,413 --> 01:20:12,981
<i>Sebastian Maniscalco.</i>

2057
01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:19,640
<i>Ellie Collins,
you asked for this.</i>

2058
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:21,555
I wonder what
this is about.
I don't know.

2059
01:20:26,125 --> 01:20:27,996
<i>Eleanor Mallory Collins.</i>

2060
01:20:27,996 --> 01:20:29,302
What are you doing?

2061
01:20:30,999 --> 01:20:32,566
<i>Exactly what
I came here to do.</i>

2062
01:20:34,829 --> 01:20:36,004
<i>Now, my father
said something</i>

2063
01:20:36,004 --> 01:20:38,050
<i>really profound
this weekend.</i>

2064
01:20:38,050 --> 01:20:40,748
<i>It's an old
Italian saying,</i>

2065
01:20:42,228 --> 01:20:45,274
<i>"Family isn't
one important thing,</i>

2066
01:20:47,102 --> 01:20:48,190
<i>"it's everything."</i>

2067
01:20:50,149 --> 01:20:52,238
<i>Now, yeah, they could
be embarrassing.</i>

2068
01:20:53,195 --> 01:20:54,370
<i>Smothering.</i>

2069
01:20:54,370 --> 01:20:56,155
<i>Sometimes maybe
express their love</i>

2070
01:20:56,155 --> 01:20:58,766
<i>in ways
that are pretty...</i>
Messed up.

2071
01:20:58,766 --> 01:21:00,202
<i>Exactly.</i>
Yeah.

2072
01:21:01,943 --> 01:21:04,554
<i>But at the end
of the day they're...</i>

2073
01:21:04,554 --> 01:21:06,905
<i>they're just trying to do
what's best for us.</i>

2074
01:21:08,210 --> 01:21:09,646
<i>Because they love us.</i>

2075
01:21:12,519 --> 01:21:14,129
<i>Now here,
in this moment,</i>

2076
01:21:14,129 --> 01:21:16,044
<i>in front
of our families...</i>

2077
01:21:21,093 --> 01:21:22,268
Ellie...

2078
01:21:23,573 --> 01:21:24,879
will you marry me?

2079
01:21:26,968 --> 01:21:28,143
- Yes.
Oh.

2080
01:21:42,418 --> 01:21:44,333
<i>And there
you have it, folks.</i>

2081
01:21:44,333 --> 01:21:47,206
<i>An atypical
American love story</i>

2082
01:21:47,206 --> 01:21:50,731
<i>about a man reconnecting
with his hero,</i>

2083
01:21:50,731 --> 01:21:53,603
<i>and two different brands
of immigrant families</i>

2084
01:21:53,603 --> 01:21:54,996
<i>coming together.</i>

2085
01:22:02,264 --> 01:22:03,744
Sebastian,
are you sure

2086
01:22:03,744 --> 01:22:05,572
you won't
reconsider
our offer?

2087
01:22:05,572 --> 01:22:06,965
No, it's
a generous offer.

2088
01:22:06,965 --> 01:22:08,488
- Yeah.
- But Ellie
and I decided

2089
01:22:08,488 --> 01:22:10,359
to stay in Chicago
for at least
a few more years.

2090
01:22:10,359 --> 01:22:11,621
Oh!
- Yeah.

2091
01:22:11,621 --> 01:22:13,710
I'm not saying
a word. Heartbreaking.

2092
01:22:13,710 --> 01:22:15,843
Dad, I was thinking
since Sea Bass isn't... Yeah.

2093
01:22:15,843 --> 01:22:17,540
gonna take the job,
I thought I could...

2094
01:22:18,280 --> 01:22:19,368
step up.

2095
01:22:20,891 --> 01:22:22,110
No more drugs?

2096
01:22:23,851 --> 01:22:25,722
Prescription?
Mostly mine?

2097
01:22:25,722 --> 01:22:27,159
A dream come true.

2098
01:22:27,159 --> 01:22:29,161
All right.
- Thank you.
- That's my boy, Lucky.

2099
01:22:29,161 --> 01:22:30,771
I'm
running a hotel.

2100
01:22:30,771 --> 01:22:32,468
- Hi.
- Hi, everybody.

2101
01:22:32,468 --> 01:22:34,775
Um, I'd like you to meet
my girlfriend, Michelle.

2102
01:22:34,775 --> 01:22:36,124
- Hello.
- Hi, I'm Ellie.

2103
01:22:36,124 --> 01:22:37,560
Hi.
- She's real.

2104
01:22:38,344 --> 01:22:39,562
That's my sister.

2105
01:22:39,562 --> 01:22:41,434
It's very nice
to meet all of you.

2106
01:22:41,434 --> 01:22:44,567
Did you fly
all the way
from... from...

2107
01:22:44,567 --> 01:22:46,004
Africa....Africa

2108
01:22:46,004 --> 01:22:49,181
...to be
with Doug?

2109
01:22:49,181 --> 01:22:51,966
Oh, well,
I love Doug.

2110
01:22:51,966 --> 01:22:53,054
But I'm
actually here

2111
01:22:53,054 --> 01:22:54,403
on a Fulbright scholarship.

2112
01:22:54,403 --> 01:22:55,622
She's very smart.

2113
01:22:55,622 --> 01:22:56,971
Very nice.

2114
01:22:56,971 --> 01:22:59,713
Well, we're
just so happy

2115
01:22:59,713 --> 01:23:01,280
to meet you. Lovely.

2116
01:23:01,280 --> 01:23:03,456
Yes. You could sit... Mom. Dad.

2117
01:23:03,456 --> 01:23:04,848
- Yes. Yes.
- Where are
we gonna go?

2118
01:23:04,848 --> 01:23:05,936
- Right this way.
- Yeah, we gotta get

2119
01:23:05,936 --> 01:23:08,156
our picture taken.

2120
01:23:11,507 --> 01:23:14,597
Don't say that I never
did nothing for you.

2121
01:23:21,996 --> 01:23:23,345
Ah.
Oh.

2122
01:23:23,345 --> 01:23:25,130
How would
you two feel

2123
01:23:25,130 --> 01:23:27,045
about having
the wedding

2124
01:23:27,045 --> 01:23:28,916
in our chapel
in D.C.?

2125
01:23:28,916 --> 01:23:30,222
D.C.? No.

2126
01:23:30,222 --> 01:23:31,701
Let's have it
in Sicily.

2127
01:23:31,701 --> 01:23:33,312
Oh, Sicily.
- In my grandfather's
garden.

2128
01:23:33,312 --> 01:23:35,096
That's where
you should... I was thinking like Napa,

2129
01:23:35,096 --> 01:23:37,707
because I found this place
that has a big wine glass.

2130
01:23:37,707 --> 01:23:38,969
And you can do
the whole ceremony

2131
01:23:38,969 --> 01:23:40,101
in the wine glass.

2132
01:23:40,101 --> 01:23:42,060
Duke! Duke! No!

2133
01:23:42,060 --> 01:23:43,887
What do you have
in your mouth?

2134
01:23:43,887 --> 01:23:46,194
Duke murdered
a peacock.