Simona, have you seen my headphones?
Your what?
The earphones for my mobile.
No.
No? Well I'd left them here. And to my surprise, they've gone.
There was nothing there.
I'll see you tomorrow.
No. I can't come tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment.
Oh yes, of course. You've recovered from that thing, right?
- What thing? - The...
Simona, they are the only ones I have. The earphones, I mean.
I'll buy you some if you want, but I need those ones now.
Goodbye!
VOTE FOR JUAN
Off to work!
Good morning in the morning. What's on today's agenda.
Well, we could start by taking our trousers out of our socks.
Did you really think today, of all days, was a good day,
to come in by bike, looking like that?
Come on. It's hardly the first time you've seen me doing sport.
Minister, let me know next time, and I'll get my mountain bike out too.
The Russian delegate is about to arrive to sign the exportation deal.
Ah, for the beetroots, wasn't it?
Why do the Russians love eating beetroots so much?
They aren't beetroots, they are cabbages.
And they don't eat them, they drink them.
- So, it's an important deal then? - No.
It's the same deal from three years ago. They could have signed it in Moscow
and sent us a scanned copy.
The only reason we've set this up is to get your photo in the press.
So get rid of your fucking helmet, and take off that jacket now.
Okay, I'll see.
Well, Minister, I like that jacket, and the whole informal look.
Well, it seems that my casual look makes some people feel uneasy.
My stomach feels uneasy.
Nasdrovia.
Sorry, what?
Nothing.
Well... Thank you, thank you.
Macarena, could you come here a second, please?
I'm coming.
Minister, I like your jacket.
It reminds me of the one my brother wore, in Chernobyl, in 1985.
Ah... I'm sorry.
I was kidding.
Yeah... of course I knew that.
Macarena, before sending the photos to the agencies, select a few of them
just in case we have to tweak the photo call.
I will see you tonight, at eight o'clock, in the embassy
to celebrate this agreement, in a more informal way.
You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
Well, I'm actually married.
As am I.
I was referring to caviar, and the very best vodka.
Ah, of course, in that case I'm single...
- And,Da svidániya. - Da svidániya.
- Of course, yes... Da svidániya.
- I'll pick you up to go to this thing. - No, I can't go.
Well neither can I.
You have to go.
You're meeting that Russian delegate you were chatting to.
His name's Sergei, I'm not meeting him, but so what if I was?
- Nothing. - Well that's that.
- So you are meeting him then? - Yes.
- Where are you going? - I don't know.
- But you are going to the embassy. - I may make an appearance, that's all.
You're going!
We'll see.
Shit!
- Hello. - Where are you?
I'll be there soon.
Have you seen the photos in the papers?
I've no idea what you're talking about.
There are photos of what you got up to last night, Minister.
That's impossible. There were no photographers.
Well how come there are photos of you in the papers, totally drunk,
and eating caviar that costs 200 Euros a tin?
The reporter kindly calculated that every spoonful cost 52 Euros.
That's only the printed press. In the online edition
you're dancing Kozachok on a table, with a tie around your head!
But, your jacket looks great.
Look, as Picasso once said: "It's better to be talked about well,
than not be talked about".
That's not how the saying goes. And it's not by Picasso.
Wait a second, I think I have an idea.
We can say that you were sampling Russian products in an after-work event.
Víctor, please.
Let's see, caviar is fish eggs, isn't it? That's fishery.
And the vodka?
Well vodka is distilled from grain. That's agriculture.
Well, I don't think it's a bad idea.
-You are kidding aren't you? -Víctor, this is a serious matter, please.
Víctor, sometimes you say the stupidest things.
I thought that it was just a caviar substitute.
And in the morning we had signed a really important agreement for Spain.
The problem is that journalists in this country
are only interested in scandal.
Look Juan, I don't know if it's really important for Spain,
but I need to talk to you. I can't do this anymore, Juan.
Well, I can talk now, what is wrong?
It's about us Juan, is this working or not?
Because I really don't think it is...
Wait, sorry, I've got a call coming in from Brussels.
I'll call you later.
Do you want a cake?
You can save all of the niceties, get straight to the insults.
No, seriously, come on Juan.
When someone moves on, they tend to bring in cake.
But when I saw your photo in the papers this morning, I thought:
"Juan can be so scatter-brained, he's probably forgotten to buy cake".
So that's why I've helped you out, come on, choose one.
I'm not going to resign because of some photos.
I can give you all of the explanations you need.
Very well, please start.
I'm not going to resign because of some photos.
That's true. You aren't going to resign, but only because I don't have time
to find another half-wit to replace you with.
So you're going to continue on with your bullshit until I decide.
But you can forget your dumb idea of standing in the party elections.
It's a shame, because you look great in the photos.
Look at you.
- How long have you been following me? - How long have you been deciding stuff
behind the president's back?
I've been in the party for 18 years. Eight as the mayor of Logroño,
and four as representative of La Rioja. You won't destroy my political career!
Please.
Juan, Juan, really.
Just for a second, imagine yourself, in a hypothetical presidency race.
Imagine your daughter at university,
with everyone making fun of her in the corridors
every time you appear, or you make a statement.
Because they're going to laugh at you.
A lot of people will be laughing at you.
Do you want to be a laughing stock, Juan?
Forget it. Go and tell the journalists outside
that you are no longer going to stand in the party elections.
It's as simple as that. Why continue with all of this suffering?
And now you're going to accept one of these cakes from me.
They're a great hangover cure.
Open your mouth...
Open your mouth!
Well, it was a very constructive exchange of views.
The door was open. We heard everything.
Oh well, we'll have to forget about the party elections.
It was always going to be tough, but at least we tried.
I'm not going to give up.
I'll win the elections or I'll go back to Logroño.
You'll go back to Logroño.
It wasn't a question, Víctor.
Sorry.
How many journalists are outside?
Three.
- Shit, you told me that it was a scandal. - On a Ministry of Agriculture level.
When have you ever seen three journalists out there?
Yeah. Well, I don't care. They will do.
Let's go, team.
If you want to be in the headlines, set up a press conference.
No, that would mean I'm recognising the severity of the matter.
I'm going to talk to them in passing, overlooking the situation.
Well, Minister, make it look like you are heading somewhere else,
and that you didn't expect to see them.
Great idea. Where can I say that I'm heading?
- To an inter-ministerial meeting. - I like it.
Wait, Minister. That jacket stays here.
- I'm asking you as a personal favour. - No, the jacket is coming with me.
This jacket represents Juan Carrasco.
I know, but that jacket is now associated with your rogue side.
The Juan who eats spoonfuls of caviar.
We need something else. Another image.
The image of someone who you can trust in.
- Minister, one minute please. - Sorry, we're on our way to
an intra-ministerial meeting.
What can you tell us about the photos that appeared today?
We were sampling some Russian products at an after-work event,
and we're continuing to work, as we always do.
But it is true that there is someone who fears that I might become president,
who is trying to cause me harm.
But do you think you are setting a good example?
I'm delighted that you have asked me that.
I believe that fighting to establish the Spanish brand is being a good example.
- Eating handfuls of caviar is hardly... - That's enough, we are done, thank you.
Minister, you haven't given us any answers.
Well, I'll give you answers. You've suggested that those photos
might affect my political future. Well they most certainly will.
And that is why I am more determined than ever
to become the president of this country. Good day.
- Where is my car. - I've no idea.
We're going to that meeting, aren't we?
- But there is no meeting. - Yeah, I know, but I just said there was.
- Should I go back into the ministry. - Call a cab.
- How are we going to call a cab? - A Cabify?
Stop! Do I have to do everything?
- Let's go. - Minister, please.
Minister. Give me an answer please.
Hello. Good morning.
I'll give you 20 Euros if you get us out of here, now!
- Are you Simón? - Simón?
I'm waiting for Simón.
He's Simón.
- Is that right? - Erm, yes.
So we're going to Manoteras then, is that right?
That's right, to Manoteras.
But don't you realise that this is all useless?
We've got the party apparatus against us.
Listen carefully.
This is exactly how I wanted things. Everything is under control.
I have a plan. If I have to face the entire party apparatus,
well, I'll face them.
Let's go, team!
Mister... Are you okay?
Yes, yes, I'm fine.
It's just this cushion cover. It irritates my eyes...
Wait, Simona.
You haven't seen a food ticket that I dropped.
No, Mister.
It's just that recently I've noticed that things are going missing.
And sometimes even money.
Let's try to be honest now.
Because I set up a "little trap".
I left a food ticket on the floor, and now it has gone.
Honestly, Mister, I swear that I haven't seen it.
Well, I just want you to admit that you took my headphones.
How am I going to admit that? I haven't seen anything!
I haven't taken anything from you!
I would never steal from you, or anyone else.
I don't take things from people.
And now you're saying that I've stolen from you.
I feel very bad.
- It's okay. - I would never steal anything from you.
- You've given me a job... - If you say you didn't, well you didn't.
- I wouldn't take it. - It's okay, calm yourself.
Calm yourself, please, calm yourself.
Calm yourself, you are okay.
Everything is okay, calm down.
- Nothing. - It's fine, don't worry.
Calm down.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
You too?
Me too, what?
It's my thyroids.
Do you have thyroidism?
Yes, and sometimes when I get home
I have to go straight to bed, and my husband has to do everything.
- But... - It's fine.
His boss found out about it, and he is treating him so well,
better than he ever did before. He's even helping with his schedule.
I'm glad.
Not about your illness, obviously. I'm glad about the other part.
Thank you, Mister.
So you're going to call the president's personal secretary
to arrange an informal get together. Go for a drink or something.
Rubén, the president's personal secretary?
You know him from the youth wing, don't you?
Come on, call Rubén and tell him the thing about my wife.
- What thing about your wife? - About the hepatitis.
Has she got hepatitis?
She doesn't have hepatitis, but she does have hepatitis.
- Do you understand what I'm saying? - Yes... no?
Good!
Well you're going to tell him that I've tried to cope with it the best I can.
That I've been trying to deal with it without worrying anyone else,
hardly sleeping at night,
taking it on by myself, so it doesn't affect the dynamics of the cabinet.
That's why I've been acting odd. But don't say it like...
Say it like you aren't saying it...
By the way, not a word of this to Carmen and Macarena, understood?
Can I have one?
- You don't smoke. - Sometimes I do.
Macarena, I'm know that because the party sent me,
you don't consider me part of the team, but...
I think the time has come to lay our cards out on the table.
If you're trying to get information out of me, it won't work.
It's fine.
To get appointed Minister of Agriculture things need to be shifted around.
And you'll need my help to do that,
I don't know if I'm explaining myself well.
Excuse me, I have things to do.
I know about Juan's wife.
What about her?
- About the MND. - MND?
Yes, motor neurones disease. She has really been suffering.
Juan has been taking care of her, without saying a word.
Who told you?
It seems like it has had quite the effect on the president,
Vallejo might even leave him alone for a while.
So they are going to let him stand in the party elections?
Yes. But I think they're going to try to get rid of him in another way.
- How? - By presenting another candidate.
The president's candidate.
They're going to do that? Well bring it on!
They'll come up against Juan Carrasco, and I'll be ready.
- We'll see them in the party elections. - It's Recalde.
The Minister of Education.
Shit, shit, shit...
Fuck... Fuck! This is Víctor's fault.
Víctor's?
For fuck's sake. I told him she had hepatitis,
he'll have said she has MND.
Recalde is the best minister,
and nobody knows who we are.
I don't know how we're going to do this, Juan.
Do you want to have dinner?
No, I can't today.
I can't.
Are you meeting someone?
Careful, don't say anything, you don't have to give me an answer.
- So are you meeting someone or not? - Juan.
- The Russian guy? - Juan, please.
- Mikhail... - Sergei.
The truth is I don't really care, you know,
but I mean, if you're not saying anything, I'll take that as a yes.
- What are you doing? - Sorry, nothing.
Were you taking my photo?
- Well, perhaps... - Take out your phone, right now!
- Did Vallejo send you? - Who?
- Juan, it's fine. - No, no, no.
She'll take out her phone and delete the fucking photo!
- It was just to show my family. - Excuse me?
I've come to Madrid on my own for some medical stuff,
and when I saw you, I couldn't help myself.
We've loved you since you were in Tudela with the Borage Brotherhood.
- Were we at that? - Two years ago.
Oh, yes, I remember it perfectly.
You were the kindest of them all, and the only one to support the borage.
But don't you worry, I'll delete it right now.
When I tell my husband that I met you,
he'll be just as happy as if I had a photo.
- We vote for you. - Good, like many Spanish people do.
By the way, I was just kidding before.
We're going to take a photo of the two of us, but a good photo
so they can put it on Twitter.
But first of all, let's all enjoy a top shelf gin and tonic.
I was just leaving. My tests are really early tomorrow.
As one of my supporters you aren't going to say no, are you?
Come on, one more drink and we'll all go home.
Or as I like to say, let's have "the second last one".
Garçon!
Minister...
There is someone at the door.
What are you doing here?
Mum said that she has been trying to talk to you, but that it's impossible.
Talk to me about what?
About how I'm going to spend a week with each of you.
What?
No, no, no, no... there's only one bedroom here.
Well you'll work it out.
Good morning.
Here are your earphones,
you left them in Logroño.
Let's see my darling
You know I'm from another planet
And that yours is a better world
Only in yours do I feel A strength within
My darling
I want to be in your world
And although I try I keep wavering
I keep wavering
Do you remember fondly Those evenings at home
Do you want to see me again?
Drinking vermouths until dawn