1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:10,010
Mr. Iglesias is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.

2
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:14,264
- Yo, you're gonna be a great Romeo, Mikey.
- Well, yeah.

3
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:17,225
You've been preparing your whole life
not to get the girl.

4
00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:21,730
He jests at scars...
that never felt a wound.

5
00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,400
Whoa, that was good.

6
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,153
And you, like,
used it right and everything.

7
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,321
Thanks, Marisol.

8
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,114
Marisol

9
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,701
by any other name,

10
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,870
would smell as sweet.

11
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,956
Easy, hotshot. No sniffing.

12
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,542
Doo do doo!

13
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,461
Good morning, young learners.

14
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,338
Hey, does anyone want
to trade roles with me?

15
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,257
I can't play Lady Capulet.

16
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,009
Uh, is it the British accent?

17
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:54,471
Just pretend you're better than
everyone else, and it comes out naturally.

18
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:58,391
We-We call our french fries chips.

19
00:00:58,475 --> 00:00:59,768
Our chips, crisps,

20
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,936
and our dentist, never!

21
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,650
Cheerio. Pip pip.
Mind the gap. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

22
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,320
Lady Capulet is a bad mom.

23
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,280
She's mean, and she hates love.

24
00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,658
Romeo and Juliet should have poisoned
their parents instead.

25
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:19,412
Easy there, Romeo and Juliet Menendez.

26
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,583
Look, uh,
how about we lighten up the mood,

27
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:27,295
and we talk about World War I
and the use of mustard gas.

28
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Oh, it sounds like a delicious gas!

29
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Yo, grown-ups
always mess things up for teens.

30
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:38,431
Lady Capulet,
Lord Montague, Lord Zuckerberg.

31
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Yeah, well, some grown-ups
do great things for kids.

32
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,770
Who? Eh, besides you.

33
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:48,399
Well, I appreciate
you calling me a grown-up, but cut it out.

34
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:54,239
No, man, look. I'm talkin' about
the adults who created child labor laws

35
00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,199
so that no child was ever overworked.

36
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Hey, you... you're doin' that thing

37
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,745
where you weave schoolwork
into casual conversation.

38
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:01,955
Nice try!

39
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:07,669
Well, jeez, what am I,
a teacher at a school on a Monday?

40
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,005
Guys,
Mr. Iglesias is one of the good ones.

41
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,674
Aww, shucks.

42
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,133
Go on.

43
00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,072
But, you know, I can't say the same
for the jerks running this place.

44
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,990
You know we're the only school
in the whole district

45
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,134
not competing in Green Week.

46
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,310
Green Week, uh...
Eh, it sounds like a great band name.

47
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,981
Seven times better than Green Day.

48
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,234
Green Week is a district-wide competition

49
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:33,796
to see which school can reduce
their carbon footprint the most.

50
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,115
Ooh, you know who's got
a huge carbon footprint? Whew...

51
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:38,199
Bigfoot.

52
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:40,994
And China.

53
00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:43,830
We can track our points using this guide.

54
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:47,083
Like eliminating single-use plastics,
50 points.

55
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,960
Carpooling, 100 points.

56
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:52,130
Driving to work alone, priceless.

57
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:56,176
Reducing meat consumption, 200 points.

58
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,719
Oh, I already do that.

59
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:01,222
At lunch, I eat half my burger,
then I throw the other half away.

60
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,517
How many points is that worth?

61
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,646
Well... I... Negative all the points!

62
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Oh, man.

63
00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:14,861
I'm in last place. This is gonna be hard!

64
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,822
You know what else was hard?

65
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,240
World War I.

66
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,702
Now, uh, open up your books to the page
with the guy wearin' a gas mask.

67
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,331
The climate crisis is World War III,

68
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:28,833
and we'll also be wearing gas masks.

69
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,337
Well, look. I'm a history teacher,
not a future teacher, okay?

70
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,423
I can't teach it till it happens.

71
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,593
Ha! I thought you could teach anything.

72
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,388
You know, old people love to complain
about younger generations,

73
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,265
but it's their fault
that everywhere on Earth

74
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,726
is about to be either desert
or underwater.

75
00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,228
But I can't swim!

76
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,189
Or tolerate direct sunlight!

77
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,568
See? This is why
we need to be yelling at adults

78
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,111
about the climate crisis.

79
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,113
Like that Swedish girl Greta Thunberg.

80
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:02,533
Now see? She is the type of white rage
I can get behind, okay?

81
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,621
So now our only hope is Swedish teenagers?

82
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,581
How could you let this happen?

83
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,417
Hey, I just work here, man.

84
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,296
Ooh, I like the passion.
You know, I've got an idea.

85
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,340
Uh, what? Give up and move to Mars?

86
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,385
- You know what's a better planet?
- Don't say it, Walt.

87
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:23,012
- What? I was just going to say Saturn.
- Oh, okay.

88
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,390
It's right next to Uranus.

89
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:33,273
Look, okay.

90
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,234
After class, I'm gonna go have
a conversation with Principal Madison

91
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,903
and see if I can't get her on board
with Green Week

92
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:41,698
and hopefully restore your faith
in adults.

93
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,366
Thank you.

94
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,826
At the rate oceans are rising,

95
00:04:44,909 --> 00:04:46,953
Long Beach is about to go
from having an aquarium

96
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,204
to being an aquarium.

97
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,416
Well, look at the bright side.
Free admission.

98
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,843
Woo!

99
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:06,222
So, what I'd like to do is teach
this section through the point of view

100
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,683
of the oppressed,
instead of the conqueror.

101
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,352
Ah, white guilt. Go for it.

102
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,478
What about my idea?

103
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,689
Tony, you can't remove a handicapped spot

104
00:05:14,772 --> 00:05:16,983
because you want
to park your truck sideways.

105
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,485
Come on! I got charts!

106
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,324
Hey, Paula, I need to talk to you.
It's really important.

107
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,492
Hey, guys, please stay.
I might need backup.

108
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,618
Okay.

109
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,371
Just so you know,
she's being very unreasonable.

110
00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:33,333
Paula, my students told me

111
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,136
that we're the only high school
in the district not doing Green Week.

112
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,838
Oh, sorry, Gabe.
Going green is like a divorce.

113
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,883
It's inconvenient, costs a lot,

114
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,843
and when you're done,
you're still miserable.

115
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,095
Come on, it's easy.

116
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,264
All you need are LED bulbs,
solar panels,

117
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,975
a compost heap, a state of the art system
to reclaim wastewater,

118
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,643
and an electric car.

119
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,188
See? Easy peasy.

120
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,358
I don't have funding for all that mess.

121
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,335
It doesn't take that much effort
to look out for the environment.

122
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:04,864
Yeah, and if we don't,
what do we leave behind for the children?

123
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:09,494
So, you'd be willing to unplug
your neon sign that says Ladies Only?

124
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,455
Never mind. Good luck, kids.

125
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:16,834
This planet is doomed.
What am I gonna do?

126
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:19,170
I've never seen an astronaut
in space shorts.

127
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,342
Gabe, you're not goin' to space.
You don't even like goin' to Anaheim.

128
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,678
Come on, Paula.
The students are passionate about this.

129
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,597
Aren't you concerned about global warming?

130
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,807
Yeah, in the summertime,

131
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,601
when the backs of my legs
hit my 200-degree car seat.

132
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,978
Yeah.

133
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,731
Or when the car's so hot,
you smell like chicharróns.

134
00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,777
You know, every generation complains

135
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,071
that the world is gonna end
and it never does.

136
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,281
2012, Y2K.

137
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,409
The '95 Source Awards.

138
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,247
I don't need these chicken littles
peckin' at my ankles.

139
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:56,791
Well, as the youngest teacher,

140
00:06:56,874 --> 00:07:00,002
I really see eye to eye with the kids
when it comes to our Earth.

141
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,295
Mother Gaia.

142
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:06,217
Mother Gaia? That sounds whiter
than a fresh pair of New Balances

143
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,927
at a Michael Bublé concert.

144
00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:10,763
What?

145
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,974
It's true. I'm as green as they come.

146
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:17,061
I catch my shower water in buckets,
and then I reuse it to make pasta.

147
00:07:20,731 --> 00:07:23,359
Yeah, I'm gonna need to take a raincheck
on that dinner invite.

148
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,029
Paula, please,
I promise it won't be a hassle,

149
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,574
and no one'll be forced
to eat shower spaghetti.

150
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:34,996
Gabe, I've been on keto so long,
it actually sounds delicious.

151
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,165
Come on, Paula.

152
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,792
It'll set a good example for the kids,
and if not for them,

153
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,627
do it for the baby seals.

154
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,058
Fine, Gabe, but I don't want any chaos.

155
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:59,228
My watchdog Carlos is
at the world's saddest convention,

156
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,355
the vice principal convention.

157
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,440
So sad.

158
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,152
A room full of people,
and no one to suck up to.

159
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,070
All right, Gabe.

160
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,239
You go make the school green,

161
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,742
but I don't want to hear it,
see it, or smell it.

162
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:14,911
One thing I've noticed

163
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,371
is when something
is environmentally friendly,

164
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,706
it smells like ass.

165
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:25,171
Look, the beauty of this competition is
the kids are in charge,

166
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,672
we can just put our feet up.

167
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:29,759
We won't have a carbon footprint
or any footprint.

168
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,719
You know, Kermit was wrong.

169
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,472
It is easy being green.

170
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,351
Great.

171
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:39,685
Just what we need.

172
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,063
Another ding-dong doing funny voices.

173
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,734
Hmm, hurt feelings I have.

174
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,237
Yoda.

175
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:51,488
Also green.

176
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,157
Nothing?

177
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,119
I'll let myself out.

178
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,082
Hmm, angry you are.

179
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,463
Thanks so much for taking a moment
out of your busy schedule

180
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,923
for an update on our progress.

181
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:12,301
I'm not taking a moment.
We're just walking in the same direction.

182
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,097
Well, our green team is already making
huge strides when it comes to lunch.

183
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,725
That sounds great. Now, why don't you
take some huge strides that way?

184
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:22,228
Oh! Really, it's no bother.

185
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,980
I enjoy a good walk and talk.

186
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,484
Oh, Marisol. I heard what you said,
so I forced down two burgers,

187
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,237
and I threw a third one in the recycling.
Swish!

188
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,660
Still some bugs in the system,

189
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,497
but we are closing in
on Lakewood and Poly.

190
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,100
We're just, like,
200 points out of the lead.

191
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:46,586
Those burnouts at Poly have been green
since Snoop went there,

192
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,297
if you know what I mean.

193
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,465
Marijuana.

194
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,052
Well, ooh, here, look, um, check this out.

195
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,263
A hundred points for the compost bin.

196
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,866
Two hundred points for removing
paper towels from the bathrooms.

197
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,868
- Mm-hmm.
- Three hundred points for banning straws.

198
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:04,103
Wow, and I thought Green Week
was gonna be boring.

199
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,816
Minus 100 for sarcasm.

200
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,946
And here is our social media team

201
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,032
getting the important message
out to people.

202
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,576
But without ozone, this

203
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:24,457
precious life-giving sunlight
will kill us all!

204
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,084
And cut.

205
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,462
Oh, great.

206
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,673
Little Spike Lee
and Baby Michael Rapaport.

207
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:42,350
I don't need to be here.
Let me outta here.

208
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,895
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What's all this noise
outside of Principal Madison's office?

209
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,396
Carbon capture.

210
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,774
We're jailing environmental criminals.

211
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:52,818
I feel like I walked onto the set
of Green is the New Black.

212
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:57,490
Ha! You crack me up, but you make me sick!

213
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:00,951
I was framed.

214
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,829
They planted that straw on me.

215
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,706
That's what they all say.

216
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,916
I never use a straw.

217
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:10,336
Even in the '70s, at Studio 54,
I used a 20-dollar bill.

218
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:15,383
See? He's been an environmentalist
for 50 years.

219
00:11:15,966 --> 00:11:19,970
Look, Principal Madison signed off
on this as long as she didn't notice it,

220
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:23,683
but she's gonna notice that her bullpen
has been turned into Greentanamo.

221
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,394
We have to stay in here.

222
00:11:26,477 --> 00:11:29,355
It's all in that crazy
Green Week rule book.

223
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,816
Plus, I heard Grace might have a taser.

224
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,360
You want to find out?

225
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,320
Touch the thermostat again.

226
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:41,158
So, uh, what are you in for?

227
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,828
I Xeroxed a handout
but didn't use both sides of the paper.

228
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,287
Wow, you're badass.

229
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:48,082
You must be the boss of this yard.

230
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,835
All right, look, uh,

231
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:52,979
I'm gonna need everybody to get out
right now before Paula gets back.

232
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:54,588
Come on. Everybody out.

233
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,799
But what did I do?

234
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,136
Would you describe that plant on your desk
as drought tolerant?

235
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,222
Oh, no, you're right.
I'm a monster! Put me away!

236
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,683
No, no, no, no, no! The governor called.

237
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,226
He's pardoned everyone.

238
00:12:07,309 --> 00:12:08,477
Now run.

239
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,895
Run!

240
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:15,276
The guidelines say they need to spend
one minute in carbon capture

241
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,279
for every fluorocarbon they release!

242
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,572
Oh, come on!

243
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,656
Your mother!

244
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:26,370
I know what's not helping the environment.
Prison overcrowding.

245
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,418
What is this?

246
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,086
What's up, Chiquita Banana?

247
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:39,884
I don't know.
Ask Officer Training Day over there.

248
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,305
I caught this fool taking his bike
out the back of his pickup truck.

249
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:47,641
He was gonna pretend
like he rode it to school. Mm-hmm.

250
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,312
And I would've gotten away with it
if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

251
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,233
Wait, wait, wait. You know what would have
a lot more prisony feel?

252
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,403
The basement.
I say we all head down there right now.

253
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,905
Let's go. Who's with me?

254
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:01,989
Come on.

255
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,326
If I had known we'd be stuck here
together, I would of wore a jacket.

256
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,704
Wouldn't want you to be afraid
of my Aztec pythons.

257
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,332
Quetzal and Coatl.

258
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,583
Aww!

259
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,586
When I break outta here,
I'm gonna tuck you in my backpack.

260
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,630
Come on, let us outta here!

261
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,509
Oh, hell no!

262
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:25,596
I don't know what this is over here,
but guess what?

263
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:30,100
I am seeing it! I am hearing it!
And I am smelling it!

264
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,189
Get your stank outta my bullpen!

265
00:13:37,691 --> 00:13:39,085
No. No, no, no, no. Don't you get it?

266
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,779
Car... Carbon capture is the crown jewel
of Green Week.

267
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,662
Wilson High is closing in
on the championship.

268
00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:44,907
Oh, show's over.

269
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,744
Green Week is over,
and if you don't clear out of my bullpen,

270
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,039
I will leave the school's AC cranked
all weekend.

271
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:54,750
Oh, not the AC! Damn!

272
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,380
- Yeah, she'll turn up the AC!
- We'll get 'em next planet!

273
00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,802
Paula,
I know it seems a little chaotic,

274
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,887
but you gotta admire their enthusiasm.

275
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,180
Do I?

276
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,390
Because I don't.

277
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,494
Have you heard of the leadership
in energy and environmental design?

278
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,645
Of course. Everyone has heard of LEED.

279
00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:16,897
I delete their emails every day.

280
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:21,735
Well, uh, Marisol told me
that if we win Green Week,

281
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:26,490
we'll become a LEED-certified school
and will actually be eligible for a grant.

282
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,284
- A grant?
- Mm-hmm.

283
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,078
Now that's the kind of green
Mama cares about.

284
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,496
How much are we talkin'?

285
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,708
I don't know all the details,
but it's, uh, more than zero.

286
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:39,335
All right.

287
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,381
- I guess we should for the children.
- Mm.

288
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,425
Now go get me some money.

289
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,428
Yes, Daddy,
I'll go work that corner for you.

290
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,436
If you don't soften your approach,

291
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:58,314
Principal Madison's gonna kill you
before climate change does.

292
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:01,775
Ooh, an exciting race
to find out how we die.

293
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:06,155
All I'm saying is,
you catch more bees with honey.

294
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,572
Honey?

295
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,701
There is no honey
because there are no bees,

296
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,203
and without bees, well, we all die.

297
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,497
Oh, I don't wanna die.

298
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,749
I wanna kiss Juliet.

299
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,587
I mean, see the future.

300
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,008
And you can do better, Mr. Iglesias.

301
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:29,345
I saw you drink an extra-large horchata
from a styrofoam cup.

302
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:33,891
Ah. Don't hate.

303
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:39,355
Look, next time, I tell the restaurant
to pour the horchata directly in my mouth.

304
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:43,150
A lot of places only charge you
if you ask for a cup.

305
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,819
If you can get your head under there,
it's free.

306
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:51,408
I tried that, and that's how
you get banned from El Taco Loco.

307
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:57,247
Look, the key to any movement is
getting people to come over to your side.

308
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:58,457
By shaming people,

309
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,627
you're just gonna make them want
to kill the turtles with their bare hands.

310
00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:05,214
If we don't shame them,
we're gonna lose points.

311
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,216
I can't take another I, man.

312
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,593
I have to change my rap name
from Lorenzo with the Benzo

313
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,261
to Lorenzo with the bus pass.

314
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,350
- Yeah, nobody wants that mixtape.
- Pfft.

315
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,727
Look, guys, we can still do this.

316
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:22,815
We just need to take responsibility
for our own carbon footprint.

317
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,275
Hey, I... I could start sleeping
with the lights off.

318
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,696
That is a great idea.

319
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,156
Although, you know who likes the dark?

320
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,999
Once we forgive
these faculty infractions,

321
00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,667
we'll be behind, like, 500 points.

322
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,918
There's no way we'll win.

323
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,129
Winning is like a hug from my dad.

324
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,715
I don't know what it feels like.

325
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,510
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Super sad.

326
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:55,014
Now, channel that, make it about trees,

327
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,534
and I have a filter
that will put a single tear on your cheek.

328
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,642
Okay, ready?

329
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,438
Guys. Guys, look. Maybe winning Green Week
isn't the most important part.

330
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,064
Maybe it's about leading by example.

331
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,567
I'd rather be leading
by being in first place.

332
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,738
And I just crunched the numbers,
and there is a way we could still win,

333
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:13,490
but someone has to give up
500 carbon points.

334
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:17,244
And whoever's willing to do that
is the real hero.

335
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,793
It's you, Mr. Iglesias.

336
00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:28,464
It's just horchata.

337
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:34,845
If you give up your gas-guzzling VW bus,
we win.

338
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,558
Anybody else?

339
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:43,353
Anybody want to be a hero?

340
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:44,980
You get free cookies.

341
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,235
I feel so free!

342
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,655
Now I'm understanding
why Gabe wears shorts.

343
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,366
I'm gonna teach in this.

344
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,703
Careful.
Lance Armstrong wore that to work,

345
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,997
and I heard one of his berries
fell off the vine.

346
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,250
Oh, man.

347
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,461
I am starting to think
you guys were right.

348
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:11,048
About the sideways parking,
or making Hooters our sister school?

349
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,092
Uh, wrong and wronger.

350
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,135
I was talking about my kids.

351
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,387
You know, I really want
to help them with this win,

352
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,264
but they keep movin' the goalposts.

353
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,642
Give anyone power, and power corrupts.

354
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,726
Even kids.

355
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,688
Yes, if they get their way,
there'll only be one-ply toilet paper.

356
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,774
And if that time comes,

357
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:31,360
the days of shakin' a man's hand
will be over.

358
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:37,574
You know what kids, uh, value
more than a firm handshake?

359
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,285
- Hmm?
- Breathing air that's not on fire.

360
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:42,871
Is that too much to ask?

361
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,415
Well, it's kind of the way they ask.

362
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,711
Besides, Gabe,
what have you done for their cause?

363
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:50,921
Uh, lots!

364
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:55,050
For example, today, I had lunch,
and I didn't waste the napkin.

365
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,719
I just did this. Look. Mm! Ah.

366
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,141
Oh, yeah.
That ought to repair the ozone.

367
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:04,560
Your kids are unrealistic, Gabriel.

368
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:07,896
I can't spend my valuable time
snippin' six-pack holders

369
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:11,608
or separating green bottles
and brown bottles

370
00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,902
or paper and plastic.

371
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,321
It's trash! It's all trash!

372
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,492
Yeah, I think some people
just need to be grandfathered in.

373
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,579
Especially grandfathers.

374
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:25,872
Yeah, Gabe.

375
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,584
In the words of the great evolutionist
Charles Darwin,

376
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,502
it is survival of the fittest.

377
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,839
Well, in the words of the great
environmentalist Charles Barkley.

378
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,722
You guys are terrible.

379
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,471
You know,

380
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,016
when I first met you,

381
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,727
it was love at first sight.

382
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:52,566
I was like, "I dig those curves."
And you were like, "Let's go for a ride,"

383
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,110
and we did.

384
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,572
And all those carpool karaoke sessions,

385
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,116
we had such sweet harmony.

386
00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:06,914
Chasing taco trucks
at two o'clock in the morning. Oh!

387
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,373
Remember that camping trip?

388
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,000
You hated it.

389
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,755
Ah, you didn't like the dirt.

390
00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:16,173
You didn't like the woods.

391
00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:19,760
You've always been such a city girl.

392
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:27,309
I hear ya, and I feel the same way.

393
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,562
Please don't make this harder
than it already is.

394
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,149
By the way,
I'm sorry about that scratch on the door.

395
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,235
Latina exes.

396
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:40,197
They're so jealous, but I get it.

397
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,158
She'll never have what we had.

398
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,246
Really gonna miss you.

399
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,789
He's really gonna do it.

400
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,500
This is so hard to watch.

401
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,752
The only time
I've seen Mr. Iglesias cry

402
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,630
was when he stapled his thumb to his desk.

403
00:20:57,172 --> 00:21:00,550
That was you,
and he was crying from laughter.

404
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,596
Walt, why are you crying?

405
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,974
The question is, why aren't you crying?

406
00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,684
Have you never loved?

407
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,105
There ain't nothin' wrong
with a man cryin'.

408
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:15,607
Shout out, Drake,
for openin' up the floodgates.

409
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:21,363
Guys, Mr. Iglesias has done so much
for us already.

410
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:24,741
Remember? He gave up summer vacation
to keep us from being counseled out.

411
00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,868
Remember before Mr. Iglesias,

412
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,496
when the only way I could talk
was like this?

413
00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,124
Mr. Iglesias helped me find my voice.

414
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,626
Yo, this one time, I was really anxious,

415
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:36,878
and he calmed me down
with two simple words.

416
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,463
Stop it.

417
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,678
I... I... I don't know,
it's how he said it.

418
00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:48,682
You know he's visited me
at every single job I've ever had,

419
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:49,766
just to check up on me.

420
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,603
It's why he has that rewards card
to Baby Gap.

421
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,192
You okay, Mr. Iglesias?

422
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:05,449
Don't... ever question
my love for you guys.

423
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,076
The tow truck'll be here in 30 minutes.

424
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,078
Oh, you always go the extra mile.

425
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:11,829
Oh...

426
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:13,665
Sorry. Sorry.

427
00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:20,630
One thing you've proven to us
over and over again is

428
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,091
you're not like other adults.

429
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:25,135
You still understand
what it's like to be a kid.

430
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:26,762
You guys aren't that complicated.

431
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:30,432
I mean, you know, Froot Loops for dinner,
pizza for breakfast.

432
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,519
Oh, wait, wait! I think I found
another way for us to get these points.

433
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:36,480
Don't make me give up my Froot Loops.

434
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,025
No, it's a way for you to keep your van.

435
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,694
Come on,
don't... don't play with my heart.

436
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,696
- Really.
- Seriously?

437
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:46,740
'Cause I'd do anything.

438
00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:49,034
Nothing, and I mean nothing.

439
00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:51,745
Would be worse
than parting with my baby.

440
00:22:58,126 --> 00:23:01,755
Look, I... I know we won,
but why does it feel like I lost?

441
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:03,965
Hustle up, Gabe.

442
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,551
Mama's got some LEED grant money
to collect.

443
00:23:06,843 --> 00:23:08,220
And speaking of collecting,

444
00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:11,056
uh, I need to collect some gas money,
so, uh, hey, Tony!

445
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:12,641
Tony, take the cup, man.

446
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,602
Hey, we're not at church,
so, uh, try adding, not subtracting.

447
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,730
- Hey, Gabriel! Gabriel!
- Hmm?

448
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:22,150
If I see somebody in your blind spot,
I'll touch you on your shoulder like this.

449
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,152
Hey, hey, hey! No touching the driver!

450
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:27,239
Hey, can we get some AC back here?

451
00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:28,365
No way.

452
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,325
Quetzl and Coatl are freezing.

453
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:33,161
You have got
to start wearing clothes to work.

454
00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:36,790
We are not riding
in the way back tomorrow.

455
00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,418
Seating is based on importance,
Mr. Trujillo.

456
00:23:39,501 --> 00:23:41,628
Tomorrow you gon' be up on the roof rack.

457
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,132
- Burn.
- With your goofy lookin' friend.

458
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,550
Hey.

459
00:23:47,884 --> 00:23:50,595
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, Gabriel, we gotta stop again.

460
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,305
Why? You just went.

461
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:55,016
When you get to be my age,
you'll understand.

462
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:57,727
Here, just use this big, empty cup.

463
00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,729
Oh. Oh, thank you, Tony.

464
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,523
Uh, don't be alarmed by the color.

465
00:24:02,023 --> 00:24:04,234
When you get to be my age,
you'll understand.

466
00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:06,361
Nobody pees on the bus!

467
00:24:08,905 --> 00:24:10,615
God, the kids are right.

468
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:11,908
Grown-ups are awful.