1
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,510
Mr. Iglesias is recorded
in front of a live studio audience.

2
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,475
We did it, Mr. Iglesias.
We won Green Week.

3
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,561
My generation thanks you,

4
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:22,856
and that's saying a lot
because we do not have great manners.

5
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,568
Yeah, and what better way to celebrate
than with some tacos.

6
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,446
Food so awesome,
you can eat the wrapper it comes in.

7
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,450
Yeah, about that. Um...

8
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,995
It is so great having you as an ally.

9
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,706
You know, there's so much in the world
worth fighting for.

10
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,125
You know what I like fighting for?
Nobody fighting.

11
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,670
This is no time to rest on our laurels.

12
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:49,215
It's my lunch hour. It seems like
a great time to rest on our laurels.

13
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,925
What are laurels?

14
00:00:51,634 --> 00:00:53,928
You know what big issue
I want to tackle next?

15
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,140
I don't know, but I know what big issue
I want to tackle next.

16
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,934
Carne asada or carnitas.

17
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:02,103
Exactly.

18
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,563
Cultural appropriation.

19
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:06,649
Uh, must be one of the specials,
'cause I don't see that on the menu.

20
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:08,818
You know on morning news shows

21
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,197
when white anchors wear sombreros
and shake maracas on Cinco de Mayo?

22
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,992
Yeah, it's always awkward
when they want to break out the tequila!

23
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:19,037
It's Cinco de Drinko!

24
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,830
Pew-pew!

25
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:22,831
Pew!

26
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,420
It's not awkward, it's offensive.

27
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,672
And we need to put a stop
to that kind of behavior.

28
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,299
All right, look, I'm with you.

29
00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:32,675
Let me just order some tacos,

30
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,803
and we'll work on a battle plan
right after, okay?

31
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:35,886
You want anything?

32
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,597
No.

33
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,517
My battle plan is no tacos.

34
00:01:41,184 --> 00:01:42,977
That is a horrible battle plan.

35
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,271
It's worse than the Fyre Festival,

36
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:48,483
which might have actually worked
if they had tacos.

37
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,445
That's why I'm here.
You can't buy them from this truck.

38
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,781
Bob is Filipino, not Mexican.

39
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:55,990
I don't really care.

40
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:57,784
I'm more hungry than woke.

41
00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,702
What? What? Save my spot.

42
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,955
What? Hey! Don't be a taco blocker.

43
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,331
Really?

44
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,301
Whoo!

45
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:21,516
So, less than a year after D-Day,
the soldiers celebrated VE Day.

46
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,661
Yeah, and a lot of them
spent the rest of their lives

47
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,353
celebrating VD Day.

48
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,900
Don't leave me hanging, bro,
that was gold.

49
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:36,030
Lorenzo would have laughed
if he wasn't at that UFO Convention.

50
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,782
- What?
- I mean, sick.

51
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,535
Right. You'll have to excuse me.

52
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,872
I'm... I'm a little off
'cause I didn't have lunch.

53
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,877
Mr. Iglesias was participating
in the fight to get Jorge's Tacos back

54
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,378
after Bob drove him out.

55
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:53,965
- Jorge's tacos were overpriced.
- And they weren't even that good.

56
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:58,261
Jorge was mean, calling someone flaco
is also body shaming.

57
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,973
Especially when it's sarcastic.

58
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:06,436
At least Jorge was mean to us in Spanish.
Bob isn't even Mexican.

59
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,938
All right, look, so Bob is Filipino, okay?

60
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,857
They're the Mexicans of Asia.

61
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,819
You told me that
the Irish were the Mexicans of England.

62
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,865
What makes someone
the Mexican of somewhere else?

63
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,118
They get treated worse
than everybody else.

64
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,662
So, I'm the Mexican of PE?

65
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,507
Hey, it's Bob, the Mexican of Asia.

66
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,719
It's my favorite Yelp reviewer.

67
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,471
WalterWeed420.

68
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,224
Well, well, well.

69
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,892
Speak of the diablo.

70
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:48,895
How did you get in here?

71
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,689
Oh, it was easy.
I was like, "Hi, Mr. Security Guard.

72
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,982
Here's a taco.

73
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,067
See you later."

74
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:58,821
That was pretty good.
Okay, now I'm gonna be the security guard.

75
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,365
Ready? Okay. Halt!

76
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,325
Come on in.

77
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,662
- Do you have any ID?
- Yeah.

78
00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,457
Looks just like you.

79
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,837
I missed my best customer today,
so those are on the house.

80
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:15,755
Really?

81
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:18,299
By eating that taco,
you're supporting a non-Mexican

82
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,717
who's profiting off our culture.

83
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,595
He's not profiting,
he gave it to me for free!

84
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,683
Seriously, I am doing my best
to put him out of business.

85
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,727
Good for you, Mr. Iglesias.

86
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,646
Ooh... get lost, Bob!

87
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,984
And I brought enough tacos for everybody.

88
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,694
I love this guy.

89
00:04:39,737 --> 00:04:43,074
Those tacos don't have eggs on them,
but you look yolked, bro.

90
00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:46,369
Thanks, I... I've been using
my mom's Shake Weights.

91
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:50,915
Oh, my gosh,
how do you say delicious in Spanish?

92
00:04:50,999 --> 00:04:52,875
Bob won't be able to tell you.

93
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,377
Delicioso.

94
00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:57,765
It's practically the same word!

95
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,926
I picked up quite a few phrases
growing up in Long Beach,

96
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,680
plus I'm Filipino,
so people always think I'm Mexican.

97
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,725
Dude, I know exactly what you mean.

98
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,288
I had to stop wearing Hawaiian shirts

99
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,395
'cause people always thought
I was Hawaiian.

100
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,440
That's so crazy.
I thought you were Samoan.

101
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,574
Bruh?

102
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,786
I'm sure you think
just because you're not white,

103
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,039
you can take from another culture
and profit from it.

104
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,541
Hold on, okay,
because I'm only half not white.

105
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,420
The other half white.

106
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,380
Sucks, right?

107
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:46,846
I'll tell you what, Bob.

108
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:50,433
By the power vested in me,
Tapatio, and Danny Trejo,

109
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,020
with a side of Lady Cholula,

110
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:58,066
I now pronounce you honorary Mexican.

111
00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:06,949
What? Uh... No!

112
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,494
You can't just declare someone Mexican.

113
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,163
Hey, the cops do it all the time.

114
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:19,253
By the powers vested in me,
by the gods of lumpia,

115
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,965
I now pronounce you honorary Filipino.

116
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:26,803
You may now pronounce the letter F
as a letter P.

117
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:32,683
Welcome to being Pilipino, my priend.

118
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,104
You are my BPP.

119
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,187
Hmm.

120
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,483
You're my best priend porever.

121
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,902
Peels pretty good.

122
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,114
Look, I may not be Mexican,

123
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,825
but I'm pretty sure
my tacos will put a smile on your face.

124
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:53,037
I only want mine if it comes
with a side of cultural authenticity.

125
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,704
Sure,

126
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,290
but I call that guacamole.

127
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,502
Pass.

128
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,546
It over to me.

129
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,718
Oh, I'm sorry.

130
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,639
- Wow. Amazing.
- I know. Hmm.

131
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,891
Please forgive me.

132
00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:15,893
Those little pieces of pineapple.

133
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,604
Heaven. Heaven.

134
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,398
Heaven!

135
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,817
Okay, I'm very, very sorry.

136
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:34,912
You know, uh, sometimes the heart
and the stomach want different things.

137
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,080
Your heart.

138
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:38,583
Is a liar.

139
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:41,334
Marisol!

140
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,963
Adios!

141
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,889
I cannot believe
I am the only one in this whole class

142
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,974
who's willing to take a stand
for what's right.

143
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,601
Marisol!

144
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,521
Why are you so unhappy?

145
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,709
Hey, bro,
let me tell you something.

146
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,943
If anyone should be unhappy,
it should be me.

147
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,405
I tried to get to you earlier,
but she made me eat sunflower seeds.

148
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,376
And scene!

149
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,589
Mikey!

150
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,717
Dare I say it, you remind me
of a young Laurence Olivier.

151
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,887
And, Marisol

152
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:35,389
look at you doing it.

153
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,977
I really need to practice.

154
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,022
Okay, but I'm only available
from 5:00 a.m. until 1:00 a.m.

155
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,983
You can text me if you need me in between.

156
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:48,778
Carlos, we have a problem.

157
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,198
Is Romeo and Juliet sold out?
Do we need to add more seats?

158
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,410
Should we move the entire production
to the convention center?

159
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,120
Relax, StubHub.

160
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,416
I am buried in complaints
from parents about this play.

161
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,751
How many complaints?

162
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:07,672
Okay, one,
but that's how cancel culture works.

163
00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:10,591
All it takes is one busybody mom
with a Twitter account.

164
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,487
- She can take this whole school down.
- Okay, what are they upset about,

165
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,197
that Romeo and Juliet wake up
in bed together?

166
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,764
No, that's a teachable moment.

167
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,101
A gentleman doesn't skulk off
in the middle of the night

168
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,979
with his belt buckle
rattling all the way to the door.

169
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,563
Dwayne.

170
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,776
So if it's not the way
the play tastefully depicts young love,

171
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,694
then what is it?

172
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:33,948
They're offended by the raunchy language,
so we need to go through the whole thing,

173
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,617
and take out any words
that sound like antique porn.

174
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,954
Well, I'm offended by censorship.

175
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,665
When did my attack dog become a lap dog?

176
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:46,085
I learned a lot
at that vice principal's conference.

177
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,047
- Whatever. Get out of my office.
- We're in the auditorium.

178
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:54,385
This is my school,
so the whole thing is my office.

179
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,602
Hey, Gaber.

180
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,519
Hey.

181
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,146
Why so glum, chum?

182
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,941
Well, Marisol killed my lunch

183
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:11,360
just for defending Bob's Tacos.

184
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,946
I swear she is embracing her inner chola.

185
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:19,452
Her street name will be Angry Smart Girl.

186
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,539
Marisol has such passion
for social justice.

187
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,915
She can ruin anything.

188
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,211
Everyone's so sensitive these days
about culture vultures.

189
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:32,423
Look, if the Japanese want to make sushi,
I say so be it.

190
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,551
Tony, sushi is Japanese.

191
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,135
Really?

192
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,471
California roll?

193
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,183
Boston roll?

194
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:43,601
Philadelphia roll?

195
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,102
Wake up, Abby.

196
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:50,441
Sad part, Abby, is you are awake,
and this is not a nightmare.

197
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,820
Well, I think
celebrating other people's traditions

198
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,864
is just borrowing with love.

199
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,867
Me wearing this bracelet says,
"I love you, Africa."

200
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,330
And the five bucks you paid for it says,
"I hate you kids who made it."

201
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,917
Okay. Gonna need some scissors, so...

202
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:11,962
You know, times like these,

203
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:15,883
I'm thinking we need more delicious tacos,
not less. Right?

204
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,427
This is what you get
for empowering your kids.

205
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,388
"Fight for what you believe in."

206
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,390
"Do the right thing."

207
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,558
"There's still hope."

208
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,687
Where do you come up with this stuff?

209
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,273
Coffee mugs, mostly.

210
00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,195
Well, I've learned a lot from cat posters.

211
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,655
"Hang in there, baby."

212
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:38,989
"Explore your feel-ines."

213
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,408
"I hate Mondays."

214
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,326
A lot of great life lessons.

215
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,871
Look, when our prisons are full
of young black men,

216
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,374
it ain't worth worrying
about who stole our music.

217
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,918
It was Elvis.

218
00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,172
Oh, Lord, have mercy!

219
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,342
A food truck hasn't caused me
this much indigestion

220
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:01,303
since I was over-served
at Silly Willy's Chili.

221
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,889
Let me guess, Marisol get to you?

222
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,057
Yes, she did.

223
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,894
But Gabe, you know,
for once she made some really good points.

224
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,896
Don't tell me you're anti-taco now.

225
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,692
No, I'm just tired of leeches
just take, take, taking from my culture,

226
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,360
like the Kardashians.

227
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,864
Now you can buy that booty,
but it don't mean you know how to use it.

228
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,411
I'd like to get used by a Kardashian.

229
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,290
Yeah, sorry, Tony. You're out of luck.

230
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,000
They only use black men.

231
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,503
Another thing they've stolen from us.

232
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,716
Sometimes it's just nice to be valued.

233
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:45,848
All good points, but what does this
have to do with Bob's Tacos?

234
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,850
Gabe, Bob is the Kardashians.

235
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,310
They can't have my behind,

236
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:52,188
and he can't colonize Jorge's spot
in the parking lot.

237
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,481
Food truck's gone.

238
00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,778
That's twice today I've been taco-blocked.

239
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:14,251
Did anyone see your truck?

240
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,504
No, when you guys told me
it was a stealth mission,

241
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,307
I decided not to drive the giant truck
with my name on the side of it

242
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,050
that's playing "La Cucaracha."

243
00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,303
Smart.

244
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,687
Okay.

245
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,064
Okay. What are you doing?

246
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,401
Checking for a wire. Standard protocol.

247
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,070
Oh, my.

248
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,155
- Wow, what do you bench?
- Okay.

249
00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:48,035
Gabe, can non-employees complain
to your HR department?

250
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,872
- What do you squat?
- Okay. All right. Yeah.

251
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,542
Sorry, Bob. You'll have to forgive Tony.

252
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,752
It's, uh, been a while
since he's seen second base.

253
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,214
All right, look.

254
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:03,217
The school needs its fix,
and you need to move product.

255
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:07,263
Okay, we're gonna split everything
down the middle 60-40.

256
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,724
Hope you brought the good stuff.

257
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,309
Oh-ho! This is legit.

258
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,478
- You guys want to know my secret?
- Mm?

259
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,146
GMOs.

260
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:20,860
I pump my cows with steroids.

261
00:14:22,236 --> 00:14:24,363
Those tacos will last for weeks.

262
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,115
Not if I'm around.

263
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:28,993
Zombie tacos, all right.

264
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,829
So much better than that organic crap.

265
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:33,414
Yeah.

266
00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,375
You know what organic means,
it means it tastes like culo.

267
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,214
Hey, hey, hey, hey.

268
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,925
Don't get high on your own supply.

269
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:49,096
Oh, I'm strong, bro.
I got this. I got this.

270
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:57,645
I'm hooked.

271
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:05,362
Okay, to get the parent that leaves
a four-minute voicemail off my back,

272
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:09,867
we are going to go through the whole thing
and cut out anything racy or suggestive.

273
00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,661
At my church, we had to do that
with the Bible.

274
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,831
Yeah. Immaculate conception?

275
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,251
You skipped all the good stuff
and went right to the bummer.

276
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,397
Well, I don't think
you're going to find anything...

277
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:23,464
Found one!

278
00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,633
"My naked weapon is out."

279
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,969
That's about a sword.

280
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,346
Yeah, it is.

281
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,767
Cut it.

282
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:38,771
Ooh, here's one.

283
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:42,650
"Montague is bound as well as I."

284
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,278
Tying each other up?

285
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,199
Shakespeare was freaky deaky.

286
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,702
My safe word is fiddlesticks.

287
00:15:54,995 --> 00:15:56,497
- Oh, really?
- Fiddlesticks.

288
00:15:58,540 --> 00:16:01,669
Okay, in Shakespeare,
bound means committed.

289
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,129
Well, he should have just said that.
Cut it.

290
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,841
Is this one?

291
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,594
"Why then, is my pump well-flowered?"

292
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,265
It sounds dirty.

293
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:19,435
I like it.

294
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,272
Okay, you think "hello" sounds dirty.

295
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,608
It's dirtier than "goodbye."

296
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,571
All right, well, we're gonna say goodbye
to the flower pump. Cut it.

297
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:34,034
- There's not going to be anything left.
- Oh... that's a great idea.

298
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:36,912
Play is canceled.

299
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,206
Oh, fiddlesticks!

300
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:48,424
Tacos, burritos,
get your very authentic taco.

301
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,095
Ai ai ai!

302
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,806
Súper auténtico. Súper auténticos tacos.

303
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,057
Oh, hey!

304
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,727
Tres tacos, muy grande, la biblioteca.

305
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:02,438
Six bucks.

306
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:05,816
And, uh, la biblioteca is that way.

307
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,696
One of everything.

308
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,114
My man!

309
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,617
You're ordering stuff
that's fun and delicious.

310
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,701
You okay, Carlos?

311
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,581
Paula just canceled the play
for inappropriate language,

312
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:22,750
so I've decided to eat my feelings.

313
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,462
One deluxe combo coming up.

314
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,547
You should be asleep after that.

315
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:31,341
Come on, Carlos.

316
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,636
You know how Paula works.
You gotta cater to her ego.

317
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,096
Put her in the play.

318
00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:39,558
If she's in it,
you don't have to change a thing.

319
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:40,641
Yeah. Ah!

320
00:17:40,976 --> 00:17:44,354
And if you promise her a new wig,
she'll be adding dirty words.

321
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:49,526
I will not debase myself
by kowtowing to Paula's ego.

322
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,197
I'll... I'll change her mind
on the merit of the art.

323
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,867
Okay, but, you know, her idea of high art
is the Masked Singer.

324
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,457
Ca-caw ca-caw!

325
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,418
Boba Fett has entered the cantina.

326
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,590
Yeah, more like the Millennial Falcon.

327
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,094
You're gonna have to Han-dle this Solo.

328
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,138
Yeah, 'cause I'm about
to get my ass Chewbacca-ed.

329
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:21,350
I'm going to a galaxy far, far away.

330
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:27,106
Wow, quite the setup.

331
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,941
Where did you get these tacos?

332
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,192
Taco fairy.

333
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:33,319
Named Bob?

334
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,656
I call him Roberto.

335
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,534
Not cool, Mr. Iglesias.

336
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,617
Come on.

337
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,996
Look, he's not selling the tacos, I am,
and I'm Mexican-American,

338
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,164
so we're good, right?

339
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,541
Yeah! Pew pew!

340
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,127
No, pew pew.

341
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,128
We're not good.

342
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,796
Why do you gotta make food political?

343
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,215
It's just tacos. Everybody loves tacos.

344
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,051
Even Carlos, and he hates everything.

345
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,638
Mexicans created tacos.

346
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,473
They should be ours to sell.

347
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:05,310
Mexicans invented piñatas,
and I don't see you picketing Party City.

348
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,396
Oh, I have a list.

349
00:19:10,190 --> 00:19:11,650
Can't believe you don't get this,

350
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,736
because if you don't,
no one else here will.

351
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,118
Why?

352
00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,579
Why do you have to be such trouble?

353
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,417
Why do you have to be so good?

354
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,254
I don't know,
but you can't seem to stay away.

355
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,463
Shh...

356
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,465
Don't say nothing.

357
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:44,891
Paula.

358
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,727
Been thinking about what you said.

359
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:50,272
And I've been thinking about
converting the auditorium to an Airbnb.

360
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,734
Crazy thing about language is,

361
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:58,030
well, the way it evolves
in context and interpretation.

362
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:02,826
I'm sorry if you misinterpreted
the context of "play's canceled."

363
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:09,124
No, Paula, the famous choreographer
Martha Graham once said,

364
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,668
"Censorship is the height of vanity."

365
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,378
I'm okay with that.

366
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,089
I've been vain ever since
I first saw myself in a mirror.

367
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,217
Oh, hello!

368
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:22,888
You know what, Paula?
As the head of the drama department,

369
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:26,683
I will not stand for the cancellation
of Romeo and Juliet.

370
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,268
Oh, no!

371
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:32,522
It is with deep regret
that I accept your resignation.

372
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:38,987
You know my biggest regret?

373
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,572
Your scented pomade?

374
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,448
No.

375
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:48,205
It's that Long Beach
will not get to see your performance.

376
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:49,373
Wait, what's that now?

377
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,253
I was gonna surprise you
with a prominent role in the play,

378
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:59,007
but alas, alack, 'twas not to be. Adieu.

379
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,885
Wait a minute.
Where you rushing off to, honey?

380
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,513
It's true.
I was going to cast you as the chorus.

381
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,306
You get to speak first.

382
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,432
Center of attention.

383
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,519
Adoring male fans with chiseled abs.

384
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,354
- Oh...
- You wouldn't be interested.

385
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,648
You don't know me. Play's back on.

386
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,671
What about the parent who complained?

387
00:21:17,734 --> 00:21:19,778
Oh, Carlos,
parents complain about everything.

388
00:21:19,861 --> 00:21:22,990
"Class size is too big."
"What happened to the art department?"

389
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,635
The principal needs to stop
eye-banging my husband. Wah, wah, wah!

390
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,702
Now give me my script.

391
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,080
Oh!

392
00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:35,544
Oh, look who it is.

393
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,878
It's my favorite student.

394
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:41,133
Have you figured out
why your favorite student is upset yet?

395
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,240
You know, I'm still trying to figure out
who let the dogs out.

396
00:21:46,179 --> 00:21:48,974
You're not getting out of this with jokes,
Mr. Iglesias.

397
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:51,018
Fine. What about faces?

398
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,896
Have you met my friend, surprised gopher?

399
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,324
It was worth a shot.

400
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,618
Look, here's my problem with Bob, okay?

401
00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:12,414
When Mexicans were selling tacos
on the street, it was illegal.

402
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,542
Then other people started doing it,
and it became cool and profitable.

403
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:19,254
This taco truck is just another reminder
that we're still in the shadows.

404
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,964
Look, I... I... I get it.

405
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,301
You know who else is in the shadows?
Every February 2nd?

406
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:26,761
This guy.

407
00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,394
Damn it. You got me.

408
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,023
Ah, it wasn't me.

409
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,274
It was this guy.

410
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:40,609
Stop!

411
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,362
Look, uh

412
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:46,907
instead of seeing someone like Bob
as your enemy,

413
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:50,702
you could think of him
as a potential partner.

414
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,162
Partner?

415
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,664
Oh, no. He's here, isn't he?

416
00:22:54,748 --> 00:22:55,874
Well, I sure hope so,

417
00:22:55,957 --> 00:22:59,336
because my plan will not work
if he forgot.

418
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,591
Hey, girl. We good?

419
00:23:04,674 --> 00:23:07,177
Can you please ask your principal
to let me park my truck

420
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:08,595
in front of the school again?

421
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:10,931
Does Dolores Huerta eat grapes?

422
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:13,725
That means no.

423
00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:17,187
Hey, uh... Hey, Bob, is...

424
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:20,315
Is there something
you'd like to say to Marisol?

425
00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,152
- The apology.
- Uh...

426
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,823
- You really gotta read the whole text.
- Oh, yeah.

427
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:30,033
Sorry.

428
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:35,789
Marisol, I'm genuinely sorry
that I offended you for selling tacos

429
00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,249
even though I'm not Mexican.

430
00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,459
Eh?

431
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:42,754
What a great guy.

432
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:44,464
Look at that, huh?

433
00:23:47,050 --> 00:23:48,510
And, uh

434
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:52,180
Marisol,
would you like to apologize to...

435
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:53,557
No, I'm good.

436
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:57,769
Okay, then.

437
00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,831
Look, we're not that different, you guys.

438
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:03,525
You know, Mexicans and Filipinos
were both colonized by Spain.

439
00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:05,152
Let's get 'em.

440
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:09,781
Easy, Pacquiao.

441
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,830
All I'm saying is, you guys have
a lot more in common than you realize.

442
00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:18,915
Marisol, uh, how tall is your grandmother?

443
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:20,250
You mean, how short?

444
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,504
She'll never ride Space Mountain.

445
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,966
My grandmother is tiny too,

446
00:24:28,049 --> 00:24:31,428
but that never stopped her
from smacking us around with her slipper.

447
00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:34,556
Yeah, my abuelita does that,
but we call it a chancla.

448
00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:40,020
It's one part of my culture
I wish someone would steal and not return.

449
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:44,858
Oh, my God! I got a welt right here still
that says size three and a half.

450
00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:48,195
You see how much we have in common? Huh?

451
00:24:48,278 --> 00:24:52,532
Cultures trading words, music, and food.

452
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,035
And we're stronger because of it.

453
00:24:56,536 --> 00:24:59,206
Yeah, when... whenever we have a potluck
on my block,

454
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:03,502
my Filipino neighbor always brings
this amazing mouth-watering pork adobo?

455
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:06,463
Oh, my God! That's the only kind of adobo.

456
00:25:07,881 --> 00:25:11,092
Sometimes I just throw it
in one of my grandma's handmade tortillas.

457
00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:12,594
I call it a tacobo.

458
00:25:14,971 --> 00:25:16,056
Tacobo.

459
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:19,476
Oh, I could go for one of those right now.

460
00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,436
I'd eat at that truck.

461
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,520
Dude.

462
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,814
That could be your truck.

463
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:29,069
I think what Mr. Iglesias is saying is,

464
00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:32,364
how about I bring
my grandma's homemade tortillas,

465
00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:34,533
and you bring your grandma's adobo,

466
00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:36,409
and we run this town?

467
00:25:37,577 --> 00:25:38,577
Boom!

468
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:41,498
I love that idea.

469
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,125
I'll have my people call your people.

470
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:46,711
I'm my people.

471
00:25:47,712 --> 00:25:49,256
I'm also my people.

472
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:54,761
Look at that. At the end of the day,
we're all just people.

473
00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:57,013
Bringing the world together with food.

474
00:25:57,889 --> 00:26:00,600
I only have one question.

475
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:02,686
Is it about tacos?

476
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:04,980
Did you really think I was Samoan?