Mr. Iglesias is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
Mr. Iglesias?
Yes, call me Gabe.
Unless you're a creditor, then you can call me Mr. Hernandez.
No, my daughter goes here.
Okay. Well, you're a little late for parent-teacher night,
or you're super early for the next one.
What's a parent-teacher night?
It's kind of in the name.
Joaquin Fuentes. I'm Marisol's father.
Mr. Fuentes.
Very nice to meet you.
You know Marisol is my favorite student.
Do you know where I might find her?
Well, you can, look over by her locker, which...
could be any one of these,
so...
...good luck with that.
Thanks.
I came to her school
because Marisol's mother and I are not on the home address terms.
Yeah, I know about those terms.
But at least you're here now,
so I give you A for effort.
I can do that 'cause I'm a teacher.
If I can't find her, would you give her my number?
Sure.
Musician.
- Hey, me too. - Really?
- Yeah, I play Guitar... - Nice.
Hero.
I hold the record at Dave & Buster's.
You know, this stupid guitar keeps leading me away from my daughter,
and like a real tonto, I keep following it.
I like following things I shouldn't too, like the cry of a paletero.
¡Paletas! ¡Paletas! ¡Limón, sandía! ¿Dónde estás, gordo?
Hey, I'm headlining at the Radisson in Buena Park,
and I was really hoping to see Marisol while I am in town.
Well, something tells me she wants to see you too.
- You think so? - Yeah, I think so.
Thanks!
-Alright. -Later.
Whoo!
A lot of people think it was Henry Ford, but it was actually Karl Benz.
Nice try, Walt,
but the leader of the Aztecs was actually Montezuma.
Sorry. I'm just so obsessed about cars.
In three hours, Mr. Iglesias will be giving me my first driving lesson.
What-what? Up top!
Walt, did you forget Lorenzo has mono, and so does Rita Perez?
I know this is history class, but do the math.
Yeah, I'm trying to do the math.
If, Walt has a driving lesson in three hours,
do I have time to update my will?
You're so lucky, Walt. Mr. Iglesias can teach anything.
Taught me how to use chopsticks.
With one hand.
Just keep that ten and two noise out of my head.
I drive with one finger at six o'clock.
It leaves the other hand free to shocka the babes.
We'll miss you, Mr. Iglesias.
I learned how to drive, but my car drives itself.
Just kidding, Nigel drives it.
I guess things could be worse, right?
Could be Nigel.
Where to, Miss Whitney? Where would you like to go?
To the country club or to the yacht club?
Pip pip, here we go!
Cheerio, everyone. Cheerio!
Hey, um,
thanks for helping me dodge my dad.
Yeah, about that...
...he asked me to give you his number.
Wow. I'm gonna keep this in a safe place.
Wow, memorized it already.
Impressive.
He's never been interested in me before.
Why should I be interested in him now?
Maybe he's changed.
Maybe you're mad at someone who... doesn't exist anymore.
Well, that's his specialty, not existing.
Marisol, look.
Don't you want to give him another chance? I mean, I don't know much about the guy,
but I know he's here now, and he's making an effort.
I don't know much about him either, just the part where he ditched his family
so he can sing "La Bamba" to drunk white people.
Yeah, you know, I never really had a relationship with my dad,
but I know if he tried to reconnect, I'd jump at the opportunity.
And I'm not a big jumper.
Well, want mine? His number's in there somewhere.
Look, you only have one dad. Don't you want to give him another shot?
Not really.
Not even a little one.
No.
Teeny-weeny.
No, what have you done?
Nothing!
Okay, something.
Welcome to faculty yoga.
Grab a mat and make yourselves at ohm.
I love yoga humor.
I even practice laughing yoga.
Ha, ha, ha!
I practice yodeling yoga. It's called yogaling.
Focus.
Everyone, by being here and being present,
you're giving yourselves the gifts of self-care.
Let's begin in mountain pose.
Feet firmly planted on the Earth.
Wow, standing. Pretty advanced stuff.
What's next, breathing?
Actually, yes.
According to a study in the New England Journal of Medicine, yoga's actually--
Jackie, namaste in your lane.
What?
Of course I will be there.
I would not miss our college reunion for the world.
And I can't wait to meet your new husband, the doctor.
I'm sorry, the surgeon.
All right. All right.
Later, girl. I'll talk to you. Okay. I love you too.
Bye.
I hate that girl.
Oooh! "No, he's not just a doctor.
He's a surgeon."
You know, Paula, yoga can be really great for releasing excess anger.
I don't have excess anger, Abby.
I have just the right amount of anger.
Okay!
Let's breathe from our diaphragms.
Two inhales, one exhale.
Two inhales? Is this gonna give me the munchies?
How's everyone feeling?
Don't fall for it.
Simon didn't say exhale.
I feel kind of funny.
That's good. You're letting go of the anger. Keep going.
That is some wet breathing.
Is she doing it right?
I don't know. I'm kind of just making this up.
Well, if you'd read a study,
you'd know that typically under all that hostility,
the person is hiding a lot of sadness.
I thought I would've been doing so much more
by my tenth college reunion!
Did she say tenth because--
Shut up, Carlos!
Nice going, Abby.
You broke Paula.
On the bright side, I've never felt better in my life!
Whoo!
Lap belt, check.
All right, my first driving lesson. I'm pumped.
Yeah, and I'm terrified, so I guess we're both ready.
These rosary beads?
Thanks for reminding me.
We need all the help we can get.
All right... push in the clutch and start the car.
What's a clutch?
Boy.
I feel cooler already.
Maybe I should get a leather jacket, you know, some racing gloves.
Yeah, slow down there, Pale Earnhardt Jr.
Look, just step on the left pedal and then start the car.
Do you hear that, Mr. Iglesias?
Yeah,
that's the sound of butterflies doing backflips in my stomach.
No, it's the sweet song of freedom.
Let's go, dog.
What happened?
You went about 14 inches.
Way to go.
Say we call it a day, right?
Hey, guys.
So, how was your first day as a driving instructor?
Fantastic.
My hands finally stopped shaking.
Hey, what happens in the car stays in the car.
That's Vegas, Walt.
Sold. Road trip!
And the shakes are back.
Hey!
Um...
You know how you insisted on meddling with my dad?
You call it meddling, I call it...
fixing with love.
Well,
thank you.
We actually had a pretty good talk
after he got through all his Marisol-themed covers.
"Stairway to Marisol,"
"Hotel Marisol,"
"Proud Mary-sol."
You know, that's really sweet.
The only thing my dad ever wrote for me was bad checks.
I'm really glad you talked.
Well, like you told me, he may not be perfect, but...
he's the only dad I've got.
Those are wise words.
Kind of comes out of me.
Well, I'm glad it did.
Because of what you said,
I had the courage to accept my dad's invitation to go on tour with him.
You know what? That's really awesome.
So, when? Next summer?
Next week.
Wh... What?
God. Yeah, keep it coming.
You're killing me. You know that, right?
I feel terrible.
I should have known she wasn't ready for dynamic breath work.
That's day two stuff.
Don't worry. It's been 24 hours.
I'm sure by now Paula is back to her old self.
I tried everything. I told her rub dirt on it,
walk it off, and cut it out.
That's all I got.
All right, relax. I got my curandero license online.
All I need is two candles, some sage, and the blood of a chicken.
Animal sacrifice. That's my cue to leave.
Bye!
Paula, are you okay?
I'll be fine, Abby. I'm just gonna go get some coffee.
I'm not sure this leaky faucet needs a diuretic.
There you are.
Are you feeling up for the interview with the Press-Telegram?
Because if not, I could step in.
I don't care.
Soon, all my sorority sisters are gonna know
I'm just a sad divorcée
whose only claim to fame is working in a high school...
with a bunch of losers.
If you need me,
I'll be vaping with the goth kids.
Wow.
I feel so bad for her.
I feel bad for those goth kids.
She's gonna bum 'em out.
Well, while she's non-compos mentis, obviously, I'm in charge,
and will be afforded the respect due my station.
Shut up, dork.
Okay, that's going in your file, Mr. Dixon.
It's Coach Dixon.
We'll see.
Um... A Bingo. A Bango.
What? Just...
We have to fix Paula.
She's our friend.
Is she?
It doesn't matter.
The important thing is that we can't have Carlos Satan-a in charge.
This is terrible. Processing this kind of pain,
it would take Paula years of psychoanalysis.
Or we can just bug the hell out of her
until she's back to her regular self again.
Put the anger stopper back in the bottle, and those bummer tears can't come out.
Guys, we can't just intentionally fill her back up with rage.
Sure we can.
Women get mad at me when I'm not even trying.
I have never seen someone so upset about someone else taking their advice.
Really?
What about the guy that said, "Hey, Mike Tyson, you know what you need?
Face tattoo."
Come on. You're the one who told me to give my dad a chance.
Exactly, and you did,
and he came up with a terrible idea.
That's the thing about dads.
Their ideas are worse than their jokes.
Look, I get all this positive recognition at school, and it feels good,
but I didn't realize how great it would feel
to get a fraction of that validation from my dad.
I just don't think you should have to choose between your dad and school.
Don't worry.
I'll be doing independent study, and it's only for a semester.
You ever seen those 90-year-olds on the news,
getting their high school diplomas?
They also thought they were taking one semester off.
Well, as 2 Chainz once said,
I'm different.
What about the guy whose heart you're gonna break if you leave?
Mikey gets it, and he supports me.
Who's talking about Mikey?
Look, my dad has never shown this much interest in me.
School will always be there, but if I miss this chance with my father,
I don't know if it'll come around again.
Time for lesson number two.
Who's ready to cheat death?
Sure. Why not?
Look out, Long Beach.
Here comes The Freckled and The Furious.
This is so cool of you, Mr. Iglesias.
You know what?
Give that box truck on the right a little bit more room.
Your right or my right?
We're facing the same direction!
Damn straight, facing the future, together.
Yeah, hopefully, the future has more than ten minutes left in it, okay?
C... C... Careful!
Know what I like about you, Mr. Iglesias?
Besides my registered motor vehicle?
You're always willing to sacrifice for us.
Yeah, but not willing to make the biggest sacrifice,
so move, move, move, move.
I know how much your sweet ride means to you.
So you letting me do this is a big deal.
Every dad, I mean...
teacher, should sacrifice for their kids the way you do.
You're right about that.
Every teacher...
...and dad sure should.
I have a favor to ask.
What?
Can I borrow this bad boy for my driving test?
So you wanna borrow my bus and drive it without me in it?
I don't think they'd let me take the test on foot. What do you say?
Okay.
But first, I have a favor to ask of you.
I know I'm gonna regret this, but...
...as soon as the light turns green,
get on the freeway.
Whoo! Road trip! Vegas, baby.
Windows down, wind in my hair, I've never felt so alive.
We were in rush hour traffic on the freeway.
We barely hit 20.
Yeah, but I hit 30 on the exit ramp, and that was without racing gloves.
Imagine the speed once I can really grip the wheel.
Focus, Walt. We're here on a mission. Yeah?
I'll have a Seven and Seven.
He'll have a 7...
Up.
He's right. I am driving, so...
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm gonna take a break. Just a quick announcement.
The pool closes at 10:00.
You know, with a crowd this size,
you might not want to mention other entertainment options.
I only sing to those with music dancing in their hearts,
and currently,
that's these five souls.
Thanks for dropping by, Mr. Iglesias.
Hi, I'm Walt, his driver.
A white driver.
Teachers make more money than I thought.
Thank you so much for talking to Marisol. I can't wait to hit the road with her.
Yeah, I know.
You're so excited, you can't wait till the end of the school year.
I'm gonna show her so much.
The Grand Canyon, the Hoover Dam,
which Radissons have free late checkout.
Because of you, I'm going to start being her father again.
You know, Joaquin? I...
I'm really glad that Marisol decided to let you back in her life.
Dads, am I right?
No, seriously, I'm asking, because I don't know much about mine.
Let's speak Spanish.
Because this nosy white boy can't understand.
Um...
Look, being a dad is really hard.
I agree.
It always scared me,
that's why I decided to leave, so I wouldn't ruin things.
I understand.
Some dads fill the car full of gas and they leave.
Vroom.
That's a car noise. Are you guys talking about me?
So you left because you didn't want to hurt Marisol?
Yes. And I was right.
Marisol is wonderful.
And that's thanks to her mom, not because of me.
Well...
That's what moms do.
For example, my mom had nothing,
but sacrificed everything in order to give me the best life possible.
That's what we do as parents,
we sacrifice for our kids.
What?
Dude, you bailing on your daughter when she was a baby wasn't a sacrifice.
Neither is pulling her out of school in the middle of junior year.
Marisol is the only one losing here.
So, we're going back to English?
Thank God. I'm back in.
Look,
are you a father?
No, not really,
but I kind of was for the last three hours,
and, I can tell you, it's always better for the grown-up
to make the sacrifice for the kid than the other way around.
So, you're not a father.
-No. -And I am not one of your students.
Sounds like we're done.
See you later.
Dads, am I right?
Hey, Coach, you ever, dip your toes into the online dating pool?
Dip my toes? I cannonball into that pool...
butt naked.
Then you're just the person I need to talk to.
What do you think my age cap should be on Tinder? 23?
No no.
You want to catch them right before they fall to pieces.
So, 28.
Smart.
I got my college reunion coming up,
and she shouldn't be the age of a girl in college,
but she also shouldn't be my age either.
Gross.
God, I feel so old.
Just call me Destiny's Grandma.
Hey, Paula. We didn't notice you here.
Yeah. Why should you?
Why should anybody?
It's not working.
Yeah, I thought one of us would be getting hit with a shoe by now.
I wore a cup for nothing.
Look, here come the big guns.
Hey, guys. Who's excited for Abby's yoga tomorrow?
I can't wait. It's like ten hits of molly.
I'm guessing.
Ooh, Paula,
didn't notice you there.
I, I hate to do this,
but I can't have you at yoga tomorrow.
You're just not strong enough.
You're right, Abby.
I get it.
Coach, what do you do when none of your plays are working?
I go to my special water bottle.
I keep it hidden in Margaritaville.
Come, come, everybody. Leave Paula alone.
What she clearly needs is...
rest.
Yeah.
Relaxation.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
And retirement.
I am tired.
I was tired yesterday,
and I'm tired again today.
Yeah.
But retirement?
I don't think so.
Carlos, breathe.
Sure retirement is waiting out there,
pacing back and forth,
ready to pounce when we stumble.
Ha, ha, ha!
But you know what I say to retirement?
Not today.
I am going to march into that reunion
without some lame-ass scrub on my arm,
and I am going to say,
"I am Principal Paula Madison,
AKA you better hide your doctor husbands...
because I am coming for them, all of them,
and I am bringing the good medicine."
- Whoo! - Whoo!
Yes! She's back.
And to Hippie Longstocking,
who doesn't think I'm strong enough...
yoga is canceled.
Get!
Well, happy she's cured,
sad about the yoga.
Cured? How is this any better?
She's angry.
She's not just angry. She's strong and beautiful.
And more importantly, she's not you.
Can I say it?
We're all thinking it.
A-boom!
Hey there, how's it going?
Pretty good.
My hands finally stopped shaking from Walt's last driving lesson.
Fren fry?
No.
I'm okay. Just had lunch...
with my dad.
Going over the tour schedule?
Nope, tour is canceled.
My dad said it wasn't fair to ask me to sacrifice school.
He said he should be the one to sacrifice.
Ooh...
Yeah, this is awkward.
I already rented out your desk.
You know what? That's great news.
Yeah, I guess he had a real come-to-Jesus moment.
Yeah. Well, sometimes, Jesus comes to you.
My dad's actually decided to take a break from the road
and just play gigs in SoCal for a while.
Isn't that great?
Well, not for everybody.
What about his fans at the Best Western in Yuma?
Well, he says he wants to be part of my life on my terms.
And the best part,
he came to this on his own.
Organically.
Without anyone meddling.
Right?
How would I know? I'm just a guy eating a fry.
Thank you, Mr. Iglesias.
For meddling?
For fixing something with love.
Are you okay?
Look, I'm not gonna lie.
Helping Walt get out on the open road, and the thought of you on tour,
it made me come to grips with something I try not to think about.
-What's that? -Todos mis patitos se van.
Not all your ducklings are leaving.
Not yet, anyway.
I'm not going anywhere.
Hey.
You're gonna make a really great dad someday.
Well?
I did it! I got my driver's license!
Whoo-hoo!
I am so proud of you, Walt.
This is awesome.
Now you are ready.
You are ready for the ultimate test:
Jack in the Box drive-thru.
That's right. You're not a real driver
until you're operating a motor vehicle while eating a fake Taco.
I'm in!
I gotta say this whole father-son thing is really working out for us.
Yeah, who knows?
Maybe after Jack in the Box, we can go fishing in the LA River.
Maybe we'll get lucky and catch a Dodger hat...
or some chonis.
And we can talk about the birds and the bees.
I have a lot of questions.
Are men the birds or the bees?