1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,051 [twinkling chimes] 2 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:13,848 [piano music playing] 3 00:00:16,726 --> 00:00:19,020 [AJ] It all started 'cause I needed money. 4 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:20,855 And here we are. 5 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,526 You know that thing where everybody gets a trophy? 6 00:00:26,611 --> 00:00:28,613 Yeah? Well, I don't. 7 00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:32,742 In my experience... 8 00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,827 that's total BS. 9 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:38,915 People I know have to work really hard to get a win, and still... 10 00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:42,085 most of the time, they just wind up losing. 11 00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,296 But, hey, at least they tried. 12 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,384 -But some people don't even try to win. -[sighs] 13 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,470 [AJ] They just take. 14 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,222 And these losers are such losers, 15 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:56,140 they don't even know they're losing. 16 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:58,810 And, every now and then, 17 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:02,605 someone figures out how to make the best of the bad hand that's dealt them. 18 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:03,981 And that's cool. 19 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,985 And here's the coolest thing of all. In life... 20 00:01:08,945 --> 00:01:11,948 some people can still win, no matter how much they've lost. 21 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,034 And as my friend Ruby says... 22 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:17,328 "If no one's giving you a trophy, 23 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,789 you gotta find a way to snatch one on your own." 24 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,085 [Robert] What is that look? 25 00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:27,922 Well, I just remembered I had KFC at your apartment the night I robbed you. 26 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:32,009 So it's kind of our anniversary. 27 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:36,472 Well, anniversaries are more for a couple and less for a thief and her victim. 28 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:38,182 Man, did I think you were an asshole. 29 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:42,436 Maybe we are a couple. Hey, pass me one of them biscuits. 30 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:43,354 You're... 31 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,356 eating? 32 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,440 And some gravy. 33 00:01:46,524 --> 00:01:47,608 Gravy? 34 00:01:47,692 --> 00:01:49,819 You know you have a pageant coming up, right? 35 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:53,865 I already have the Miss Drag USA crown in the bag. 36 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,158 How you so sure? 37 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:58,995 -Well, first, you've seen me. -[AJ] Yes. 38 00:01:59,078 --> 00:01:59,954 [tongue pop] 39 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,666 Second... the number I'm doing for talent... 40 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,835 tore the house down 41 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,254 when I won Queen of New York. 42 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,089 ["Unspeakable Joy" playing] 43 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:11,716 ♪ Joy ♪ 44 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,509 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 45 00:02:13,593 --> 00:02:15,511 ♪ 'Cause they did not give it ♪ 46 00:02:15,595 --> 00:02:18,306 ♪ They cannot take it away ♪ 47 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,725 ♪ Joy, unspeakable joy ♪ 48 00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,852 ♪ 'Cause they did not give it ♪ 49 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,771 ♪ They cannot take it away ♪ 50 00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,523 Oh, shit. 51 00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:30,151 ♪ When I wake up in the morning ♪ 52 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,360 ♪ Gets me out of bed ♪ 53 00:02:32,028 --> 00:02:33,738 ♪ Keeps me runnin', skippin', jumpin' ♪ 54 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,198 ♪ Like a little kid ♪ 55 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,784 ♪ You know Sometimes I can hardly keep it inside ♪ 56 00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,371 ♪ It overtakes me, overwhelms me And I'm mortified ♪ 57 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:46,500 ♪ I did not get it from any woman or man ♪ 58 00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:49,837 ♪ And it's okay If they don't always understand ♪ 59 00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:53,883 ♪ It's very easy to get caught In circumstance ♪ 60 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,468 ♪ It's even easier ♪ 61 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,970 ♪ To break out in a dance ♪ 62 00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,555 ♪ Joy ♪ 63 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,057 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 64 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:05,895 ♪ 'Cause they did not give it They cannot take it away ♪ 65 00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,314 ♪ Joy, unspeakable joy ♪ 66 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:13,319 ♪ 'Cause they did not give it They cannot take it away ♪ 67 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,362 ♪ Joy ♪ 68 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,530 ♪ Cannot take it away, take it away ♪ 69 00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:17,782 ♪ Joy ♪ 70 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,617 ♪ Take it away, take it away ♪ 71 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,327 ♪ Joy ♪ 72 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,954 ♪ Take it away, take it away ♪ 73 00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:24,789 ♪ Joy ♪ 74 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,291 ♪ Take it away, take it away Take it away ♪ 75 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,709 ♪ Joy ♪ 76 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,211 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 77 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:34,966 ♪ 'Cause they did not give it They cannot take it away ♪ 78 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,259 ♪ Joy ♪ 79 00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:37,343 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 80 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:42,056 ♪ In my heart And I can't let them steal my ♪ 81 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:43,266 ♪ Joy ♪ 82 00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:46,269 [audience cheering and whooping] 83 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,398 And, child... 84 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:55,486 when my backup dancers came out in their matching shorts, 85 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,197 those other girls could not deal. 86 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,615 Backup dancers? 87 00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:00,866 [Robert] Mm-hmm. 88 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,243 Pina and Colada. 89 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,662 I think they had a record deal for a hot minute. 90 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,873 But you don't have Pina or Colada now. 91 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:10,251 I don't need... backup dancers. 92 00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,210 I'm enough. 93 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,964 How? You traded in Pina and Colada for biscuit and gravy. 94 00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:19,927 -[gasps] -You have to win this pageant 95 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,887 in two days. 96 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:26,058 You need the $25,000 to go back to New York and do the rest of your life. 97 00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:27,685 Don't worry. 98 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,396 I'm winning this pageant. 99 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,858 Should I Google Pina and Colada just to be safe? 100 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,276 [chuckles] 101 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:41,574 Patrick, this is my third and last "call me" message. 102 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,952 I'm not the type of girl who begs, so that's it! 103 00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,330 Call me. Please call me. Please. 104 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,957 -[knocking on door] -[gasps] Maybe this is you. 105 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,585 All is forgiven, baby. 106 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:54,295 No, it's Brianna. 107 00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:57,340 Ooh, let me rethink that, then. You here to break some more of my stuff? 108 00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:59,842 I came back to apologize. 109 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:01,761 Um, I brought you a doughnut. 110 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,930 -What kind? -It's glazed. 111 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,307 Why you standing in the hallway? 112 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,267 -[dogs barking] -[Sweeney] Who is it? 113 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,061 [Louis] It's for me, Mrs. Sweeney. 114 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,357 -Is that enough light? -Yeah. 115 00:05:16,567 --> 00:05:20,112 Do you wanna sit and have a cup of tea before you fly into another rage 116 00:05:20,196 --> 00:05:22,531 and start screaming at an innocent blind man? 117 00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:23,741 I'm assuming. 118 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,409 Yeah. Thanks. 119 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,702 Where's my doughnut at? 120 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:29,330 [quietly] Thank you. 121 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,169 Um, look, I'm really sorry about the other day. 122 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,629 It wasn't really me. 123 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:39,715 It was the drugs. Or the not using them. 124 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,885 -Truth is, I wanna use every day. -[sniffs] 125 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,013 It's a good thing I spent the last of my money on that doughnut, 126 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:48,224 'cause if I had more, I definitely would. 127 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,434 Hang in there. 128 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,104 I will. For her. 129 00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,688 Are you sitting down? 130 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:57,691 -No. It's a little crowded. -Just move it out of the way and sit down. 131 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,945 This queen came by to pay for a dress I made for her earlier. 132 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,656 [clears throat] Um... 133 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:07,868 I would really appreciate some more information. 134 00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:10,079 I've left so many messages, 135 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,456 and Amber Jasmine hasn't returned any of them. 136 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,376 I'm sure she's mad at me. 137 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,670 And I don't blame her. 138 00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:20,589 I really screwed everything up. 139 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:29,056 Do you think that you could call your roommate... 140 00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:31,308 and maybe he could put her on the phone? 141 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,311 I just... I need to hear her voice to know that she's okay. 142 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,273 I talked to her today. She's okay. 143 00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,983 She is? She really is? 144 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,109 Yeah, she's fine. 145 00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,820 She's in Dallas, on her way to her grandfather's. 146 00:06:43,529 --> 00:06:44,697 I'm sorry, what? 147 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,574 [Louis] You see, that's why she hid in that RV. 148 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,200 She heard Robert was going to Dallas, 149 00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:51,996 and she wanted a ride to your... your father's farm, is it? 150 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,039 [gasps] Yeah. 151 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:57,334 Yeah. My... my father's farm. 152 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,545 [Louis] And you got Robert all wrong. 153 00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:02,381 You know, he took really good care of your little girl. 154 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:05,009 R-Remember, he didn't ask for any of this. 155 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:08,137 Yeah, well... um, no, it all makes sense now. 156 00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,724 Thank you. She loves her Pop Pop. Thanks so much. I really appreciate it. 157 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,350 It's great. I feel so much better. 158 00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,228 I'm just gonna go ahead and call my dad. We're gonna work it out. 159 00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:17,313 What about your tea? 160 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,607 Uh, no. You've done too much already. 161 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,025 [kettle whistling] 162 00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:23,569 -[dogs barking] -[Sweeney] Who is it? 163 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,490 -[sniffs] -[Sweeney] Who is it? 164 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:29,783 Mm. 165 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,869 Excuse me! Officer! 166 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,039 I've been incarcerated incorrectly. 167 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,665 Officer! 168 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,960 Ladies, it's your lucky night. 169 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:41,879 Due to overcrowding, 170 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:46,675 I'm forced to escort a few of you escorts out of here to freedom. 171 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:50,554 [woman 1] Yeah, I'll go now. I shouldn't be here anyways. 172 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,474 Eeny, meeny, miney... ho. 173 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,392 -[woman 2] Your lucky day. -[woman 3] Go, girl. 174 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:59,605 Eeny, meeny, miney... go. 175 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,899 Hey! I'm not a cheap hooker. 176 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,026 I know, but you're annoying as hell. 177 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,654 -["Walk It Off" playing] -[woman] Excuse me, girls. 178 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,365 Is there another jail in Jackson my driver could have gone to? 179 00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,700 Is she still talking? She never shuts up. 180 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,119 [driver] Lorraine Bracco? 181 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,204 That's me. 182 00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:19,750 -[sighs] -[driver] How you doing tonight? 183 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,627 I'm great. Thanks for askin'. 184 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,088 So, it says here you're going to 4223 Maple Drive-- 185 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,297 Yeah, we're not going there. 186 00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:28,050 -There's been a change of address. -Not a problem. 187 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:31,011 -What is the new address? -Don't know it yet. 188 00:08:31,095 --> 00:08:33,180 Would you just shut up and listen for a minute? 189 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:37,226 I mean, I'd like for you to get a good rating, you know? 190 00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,686 That would be my first. 191 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:45,317 Okay, the new address is the Ritz-Carlton in New Orleans. 192 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,944 Wow. 193 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,989 That little bitch took a road trip to New Orleans 194 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:52,074 and is spending all my money that he took. 195 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:55,244 Uh, but, uh, New Orleans is three hours away. 196 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,497 Two hours and 49 minutes. The longer you wait, the longer it gets. 197 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,291 -Problem? -Not a problem. 198 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,752 Got nowhere to be till Thanksgiving. 199 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,924 [Lady Danger] Where are your mints? Hard candy? 200 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:11,677 [excited chatter] 201 00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:14,179 [man] Oh! Look who it is! 202 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:16,348 [AJ] Are those the other contestants? 203 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:17,891 [Robert] Yep. 204 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:19,727 God bless. 205 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,187 Well, then maybe you do got this. 206 00:09:22,313 --> 00:09:25,274 Oh, good morning, and welcome to Miss Drag USA. And you are? 207 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:26,483 Probably the winner. 208 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:28,902 Oh, I love it. [chuckles] Do you love it, Ewan? 209 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:29,945 Love what? 210 00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:32,406 I'm still trying to figure out your new sign-in system here. 211 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,408 All this tappin' and selectin'. 212 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,577 I feel like I'm launching a missile somewhere. 213 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,622 He gets like this every year, and every year, for the last 11 years, 214 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:43,292 I say, "Ewan, it's gonna be okay," and every year, it is. 215 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,628 Cool as a cucumber on our wedding day, though. 216 00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:49,840 Is she here to sign into a pageant or to walk down our memory lane, Kevin? 217 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:51,508 -Name? -Ruby Red. 218 00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,803 [gasps] New York City in the house. 219 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,890 Runs so hot and cold. It's like living with a tornado. 220 00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:00,601 [Robert] I arrived last night so I could come in first thing 221 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:03,354 to go back and claim one of the private dressing rooms. 222 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:05,397 It's still early. You'll be fine. 223 00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,900 You ladies serving breakfast? Bagels? 224 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:09,902 Anything? 225 00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:13,197 Well, now, the meet-and-greet brunch is the day of the pageant only. 226 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,908 Now, uh, how many fan tickets do you want to reserve? 227 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,202 They come in blocks of 20, 40, and 60. 228 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,746 People are... are buying fan blocks? 229 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,748 Uh, Danielle Dupri has 60, 230 00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,458 Rachel Lee Cooks has 60, 231 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,710 Lee Saint Lee has 60, so... 232 00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:29,797 -Sixty? -Well, don't push the man, Ewan. 233 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,091 [laughs] So how many? Sixty? 234 00:10:32,174 --> 00:10:33,050 [AJ] Sixty? 235 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,636 -We only have two. -People? 236 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,179 Buses. 237 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:42,017 Two buses with 100 fans on each, so 200. 238 00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:45,938 Oh, somebody's come to win. 239 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,190 And they'll pay when they get here. 240 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,526 They think it's tacky when I pay. 241 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,985 They hate it. 242 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,696 [chuckles] Well, now, sign in. 243 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,823 ["Walk It Off" playing] 244 00:10:58,784 --> 00:10:59,868 [Louis clears throat] 245 00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:02,913 -[Patrick] Yes? -It's Louis. 246 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,958 Louis Bell, the man you've been seeing. 247 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,711 [chuckles] That's funny. 248 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:11,505 [panting] Sorry, I was... I was just in the shower. 249 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,548 How did you get-- 250 00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,341 Oh, that nice super let me in. 251 00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,218 I told him I wanted to surprise you. 252 00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,970 -Oh. -Surprise! 253 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,972 -Oh! -[both laugh] 254 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,557 -[Louis] Oh... -[clears throat] 255 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,308 [Louis] Ooh, ooh! What was that? 256 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,768 Did I just kill a cat? 257 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,521 No, no. Sorry, it's just some jeans and boots. [sighs] 258 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:31,817 Oh. Why'd you take your jeans off as soon as you walked in the door? 259 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,986 I was, uh, too tired to hang them up. 260 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,697 Oh, well, I'm not here to criticize. 261 00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,074 I'm here to bring you breakfast. 262 00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:41,118 -Oh. -[Louis] And it's still hot. 263 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,204 Just like your man. [chuckles] 264 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:48,834 There. 265 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,920 Now, ain't that better than all that crazy silence between us? 266 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:53,672 -[chuckles] -Louis, uh, look-- 267 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:55,132 Love to, but I'm blind. 268 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,593 But you go eat those eggs while I talk. 269 00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,095 -Go on, you have a kitchen, right? -Yes. 270 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,013 Yes. 271 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,473 [Louis chuckles] 272 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,807 Oh, uh... 273 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:05,768 Patrick... 274 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,687 you have nothing to worry about when it comes to me and Robert. 275 00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,063 We are friends. 276 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:11,231 We are not lovers. 277 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,318 'Cause I like my men white and tight. 278 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,696 [moans, chuckles] 279 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:21,200 Seriously, though... [clicks tongue] ...Oh. What is this? 280 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:22,951 [sniffs] Oh. 281 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:25,954 -Patrick, are you a secret smoker? -Yes. 282 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:30,959 -These jeans don't smell like you. -I am using a new cologne. 283 00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:32,461 These are not your jeans. 284 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,214 No, they're not. 285 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,840 Is there somebody else here right now? 286 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:37,800 -No. -Yes. 287 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,426 -Ah. -[man] Sorry. 288 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,553 -I didn't know he was seeing anyone. -[Louis] Is that him? 289 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,347 Yes. My name's Jordan. 290 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,516 -I don't need to know your name, cheater! -Fair enough. 291 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:46,642 [Louis] Oh, my Lord. 292 00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:48,185 Oh, my Lo-- 293 00:12:49,228 --> 00:12:51,396 Were y'all making love when I walked in here with eggs? 294 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,356 -No. -Yes. 295 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,525 -[whines] -Well, we were. 296 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,527 We were not making love. We were just having sex. 297 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,654 "Just"? Ain't no just about it. 298 00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,863 Louis, he's nothing. 299 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,281 Well, excuse me. 300 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,951 I'm not nothing. I'm a high school guidance counselor. 301 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,453 -My students think I make a difference. -Louis... 302 00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:07,996 look, I was upset, okay? 303 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,499 -Robert and you-- -[Louis] Robert and me, nothing. 304 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,376 You and cheater, something. 305 00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:16,505 [grunts] Goodbye, Patrick. 306 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,133 You just broke a blind man's heart. 307 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,179 Live with that. 308 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:30,644 Go. 309 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:32,938 Just go. 310 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,690 How? He took my pants. 311 00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:35,983 [Louis] Yes, I did, 312 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,569 and they're on their way right to the incinerator. 313 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:41,572 So... 314 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,532 [Robert] Oh, no! 315 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,618 [gasps] The private rooms are all taken. 316 00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,370 Shouldn't have spent so much time 317 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,956 talking to Siegfried and Roy about their surrogate situation. 318 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,250 Yeah. Why'd you put yourself through that? 319 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,711 Because they own the damn pageant. 320 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,338 You do what you have to do to win. That's the pageant way. 321 00:13:58,422 --> 00:13:59,381 I think that one's open. 322 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,008 Oh, get it. Run, run! Get it. 323 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,009 [AJ] Got it! 324 00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:05,387 Yes? 325 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,889 I was just about to take this room. 326 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,266 You do what you have to do to win. That's the pageant way. 327 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,392 [chuckles] Oh, no, bitch. 328 00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:16,106 I know you did not just call that ten-year-old child a bitch. 329 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,816 This is the last private dressing room. 330 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,984 She's a child. 331 00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:21,320 -[Danielle] Hm. -Now, excuse me. 332 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,119 [whispers] Well done, bitch. 333 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,664 [AJ] Gotta make sure you're set up to win. 334 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:36,084 -In case those buses don't show up. -[Robert] Oh, I got this. 335 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,547 What do you mean? The bus hit an oil slick? 336 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:43,926 -[AJ chuckles] -And that bus hit the other bus? 337 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,886 I have taught you well. 338 00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:52,059 Now I don't feel bad that I'm out of here in less than 24 more hours. 339 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,314 So... 340 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:00,984 that's real, right? I mean... 341 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:03,445 this is really happening? 342 00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:07,449 Yeah. What did you think? You were gonna adopt me or some shit? 343 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,242 Maybe. 344 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,244 I mean... 345 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:15,832 not that I'm saying that could ever really happen legally or anything, but... 346 00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,294 I mean, I don't even know Pop Pop. 347 00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,671 Never spoken to him. 348 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:24,383 You know Pop Pop's off the grid because he doesn't trust the man. 349 00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:25,467 [Robert] Yes. 350 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:30,847 But how am I supposed to trust some man that I've never even seen? 351 00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:35,018 I feel negligent just dropping you off in the middle of nowhere. 352 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,940 There. Now you've seen Pop Pop. 353 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:41,817 So Pop Pop's a hippie? 354 00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,902 My mom says he's a survivalist. 355 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,824 He lives at 1332 Wonderview Ave., Woodlawn, Texas. 356 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,159 I'll write it down so you can Google Map him 357 00:15:51,243 --> 00:15:52,494 and see that everything's okay. 358 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,329 So... 359 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:55,914 we're doing this? 360 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,166 We're doing this. 361 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:04,506 -[contestant] Hey, girls. -Parade of queens rehearsal in 20. 362 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,551 Thanks, Kevin. Oh, you're really on it. 363 00:16:08,260 --> 00:16:10,137 That's gonna be one lucky baby. 364 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,263 Oh. 365 00:16:12,681 --> 00:16:15,767 -Now that's how you win a pageant. -[AJ] Grrrl. 366 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,478 Contestant number 11, Ruby Red. 367 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:19,896 Applause, applause, applause. 368 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,982 [Ewan] Two hundred fans. 369 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:22,941 [group] Ooh. 370 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:26,111 That entire balcony is reserved for you, Ruby. 371 00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:28,780 -Oh, the whole balcony? -[Kevin] Yes, ma'am. 372 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,616 -[Robert] That's a big-ass balcony. -[chuckles] Yeah. 373 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:35,162 I just talked to my 200 fans en route from New York, and... 374 00:16:36,455 --> 00:16:37,622 they're excited. 375 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,501 They hit a little bad weather, but, uh, they're working through it. 376 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:42,669 Oh, that's great. 377 00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:45,589 Okay, contestant number 12, Danielle Dupri. 378 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,758 [Kevin] Big applause, applause, applause. 379 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,093 First alternate, four years in a row. 380 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,345 This is her year. Everyone knows it. 381 00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,764 Not everyone. 382 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,599 That's what she told me to tell you. 383 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:56,767 Anyway... 384 00:16:57,392 --> 00:16:59,269 fifth time's a charm, Danielle. 385 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,605 Charm's got nothing to do with it. 386 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,775 -Oh! -[both laugh] 387 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,151 [indistinct chatter] 388 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,696 So what's your guys' deal? 389 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,865 Oh, we're Danielle's backup dancers. 390 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,825 All four of you? 391 00:17:13,909 --> 00:17:15,285 -Mm-hmm. -[AJ] Oh, shit. 392 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,663 I don't know who you are or where all those fans came from, 393 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,082 but this is my year. 394 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:21,500 Everyone knows it. 395 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,043 Not everyone. 396 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,420 Tell her, Lee. 397 00:17:25,504 --> 00:17:26,713 She did. 398 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,423 [scoffs] 399 00:17:28,507 --> 00:17:31,009 [Ewan] Oh, how pretty. Look at all those stars. 400 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,851 [man on speaker] How can I help? 401 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:43,939 Yes, hello. I would like the garden salad with the dressing on the side. 402 00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,525 [man] One garden salad, dressing on the side. 403 00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,068 Would you like fries with that? 404 00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,862 Why would I want fries with that? It's a salad. 405 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,117 Screw it. Yeah, give me the fries with that. 406 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,576 You only live once, right? 407 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,829 [man] Right. Large or small? 408 00:17:58,912 --> 00:17:59,996 Large. Wait. 409 00:18:00,539 --> 00:18:03,458 Hold up. It looks like it's cheaper to get a value meal, so just... 410 00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,753 give me a number four value meal... 411 00:18:06,837 --> 00:18:07,838 Hold up, wait. 412 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:11,550 Wait. For only a buck more, I can get a double-double value meal? 413 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:12,634 [man] Yes, sir. 414 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,386 Oh, then I'll have that. 415 00:18:14,469 --> 00:18:16,138 [man] One salad, one double-double value meal 416 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:17,681 with large fries. Anything else? 417 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,099 Hey, you know what? 418 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,227 You know what? Forget the salad and just give me some chicken nuggets. 419 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,645 I used to love those. 420 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:27,190 -[man] You still want that double-double? -Hell, yes, I want the double-double. 421 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:30,694 [man] One double-double value meal, one order of chicken nuggets. 422 00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,779 And you get a large beverage with the value meal. 423 00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:33,780 A diet-- 424 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:35,824 Wait. 425 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,451 A chocolate milkshake. 426 00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,328 [man] Milkshakes don't come with value meals. 427 00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,788 [horn honks] 428 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:45,500 [shouts] A chocolate milkshake, please! 429 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,211 Oh, can you break a hundred? 430 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,007 [hold music playing on phone] 431 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:54,092 [automated voice] Thank you for continuing to hold. 432 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,136 Your business is important to us. 433 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,638 We know you have many choices in air travel. 434 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,932 [operator] This is Jill. How can I help you? 435 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,978 Hi, Jill. I booked a... 436 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,983 first-class seat from New Orleans to Cuba using cash at a local travel agent. 437 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,694 I just want to make sure everything's okay with the reservation. 438 00:19:13,028 --> 00:19:16,156 [Jill] I can help you with that. Do you have a locator number? 439 00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,867 Oh, yeah. Okay. J, K... 440 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,827 nine, five... 441 00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:23,371 L, P... 442 00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:25,207 [Jill] J as in janitor, 443 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:26,917 K as in king... 444 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:31,004 -[gulps] -the number nine, the number five, 445 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:34,424 L as in lion, P as in pancake. 446 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,386 -[choking] -[Jill] Sir? Sir, are you there? 447 00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:40,639 [horn honks] 448 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,599 [drive-through speaker] How can I help you today? 449 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,643 [Jill] Sir? Sir, are you there? 450 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:47,270 [grunting] 451 00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,188 [Jill] Sir? 452 00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,065 Sir? 453 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:52,150 -[coughing] -[heart thumping] 454 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,739 [piano music playing] 455 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:20,178 [grunting] 456 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,889 [horn honking] 457 00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:24,182 [grunts] 458 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,100 [coughs] 459 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,311 -[panting] -[Jill] Sir, you still there? 460 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,690 Sir, please hold. 461 00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:33,358 -[hold music playing] -[sighs] 462 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,570 Talent is followed by Evening Gown, 463 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,572 and that is followed by Question and Answer. 464 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,116 -[phone vibrating] -[Ewan] We follow that immediately 465 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:44,035 with the fifth, fourth, third, second, and first alternate queens. 466 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:45,412 Excuse me. No phones. 467 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,455 Excuse me. No phones. 468 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:50,250 If... if one of us is on social media, 469 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,876 all of us is gonna be on social media. 470 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:52,961 He's talking to you. 471 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:56,548 -[Kevin] No phones. Thank you kindly. -Oh, sorry. 472 00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:00,885 [both slurp loudly] 473 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:03,054 [Damien on voicemail] It's me. 474 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,682 I have your money. 475 00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,267 Really, I do this time. 476 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,728 Let me bring it to you. Please, Robert. 477 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:12,230 Let me bring it to you. It's the least I can do for you. 478 00:21:13,148 --> 00:21:15,650 -Call me back. Tell me where we can meet. -[door opens] 479 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:16,985 Yeah, right. 480 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,990 Why's he calling after all this time? 481 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,326 'Cause he's a lowlife mother-effer. 482 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:25,952 He sounded different. 483 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,705 No. He didn't. 484 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:31,541 He does. He... he sounds different. 485 00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,251 -His tone-- -Come on. 486 00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,004 Are you still this big of a loser? 487 00:21:36,421 --> 00:21:38,006 After all we've been through? 488 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:40,216 I'm just saying, he sounded different. 489 00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,510 He made it all up, Robert! 490 00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,554 None of it is true! 491 00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:49,851 And I know that you want it to be true, but it's not true! It's not! 492 00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:52,645 Right? 493 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:56,524 Right. 494 00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:58,610 Right. 495 00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:04,991 [woman on speaker] How can I help you today? 496 00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:06,368 [Lady Danger] Move forward. 497 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,916 Yeah, did a man drive through here today and-- 498 00:22:12,999 --> 00:22:15,502 [woman] Lots of men drive through here. It's a drive-through. 499 00:22:15,585 --> 00:22:20,006 You'd remember him. He's a kind of fading hot Latin guy. 500 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,133 Probably ordered a salad with dressing on the side. 501 00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:23,676 Salad at a fast-food place? 502 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,720 Yeah. Try driving across the country with him. 503 00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:29,933 -[woman] No idea. Just started my shift. -[groans] Ah. Well, since I'm here, 504 00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:34,020 -let me get a double-double. -[woman] Do you want fries with that? 505 00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:36,648 Of course I want fries with that. You want anything, Paulie? 506 00:22:36,731 --> 00:22:38,566 I wouldn't say no to that pot pie. 507 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:39,651 And a pot pie. 508 00:22:39,734 --> 00:22:41,277 [woman] Let me read that back. 509 00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:45,115 One double-double, one fries, and one pot pie. 510 00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,991 Gee, you love to hear yourself talk. 511 00:22:47,075 --> 00:22:48,326 -[woman] Drive through. -[phone beeps] 512 00:22:48,743 --> 00:22:50,578 [Lady Danger] Oh. He changed direction. 513 00:22:50,662 --> 00:22:52,622 Bitch just got on the interstate. 514 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:57,043 So we've been to a hotel, a gym, now here on the way to the airport. 515 00:22:57,752 --> 00:22:59,838 Um, are you stalking an ex or something? 516 00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:03,716 -Why, you getting jealous? -[Paulie] No, it's just, I feel you. 517 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:08,138 I followed my ex-wife's sister across two state lines. 518 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:10,598 That's hardcore. 519 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:13,435 Drive through. 520 00:23:13,518 --> 00:23:17,480 [bulldog howling loudly on cell phone] 521 00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:20,233 I know you're gonna miss that sound. 522 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:23,027 Two things I will miss. 523 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:25,196 That dog and your farts. 524 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,866 Oh, don't worry. I got a bunch of 'em saved up for you 525 00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,075 as a going-away present. 526 00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:32,203 -[laughs] -[knocking on door] 527 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:33,872 -Who's that? -[AJ] It's probably 528 00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:35,498 that parking lot guard again. 529 00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:36,916 Or maybe the first bus. 530 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,209 Open the damn door! 531 00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:40,253 Louis! [chuckles] 532 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:43,339 How long you gonna leave me standing in this parking lot heartbroken? 533 00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,383 [Robert] Here. Here, come on. Come on. 534 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,802 -[Robert and Louis grunt] -[Robert] Here you go. 535 00:23:49,179 --> 00:23:51,931 Louis, how did you get here? 536 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,391 Frequent flier miles. 537 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:56,478 I was saving up for a vacation for Patrick and me. 538 00:23:57,020 --> 00:24:00,648 Little did I know he was having a gay spring break in his apartment. 539 00:24:00,732 --> 00:24:01,983 Oh, no! 540 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:04,360 Oh, yes, girl. [grunts] 541 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:06,946 This place feels smaller than I remember. 542 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,782 [yelps] What is that? 543 00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:13,495 -It's me, AJ. -[sighs] 544 00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:14,704 Oh, Little Bits. 545 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,332 I've been so wrapped up in my own mess of a life, 546 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,334 I completely forgot about you and yours. 547 00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,044 [exhales] 548 00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:23,922 Patrick was the love of my life. 549 00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:26,883 Oh, now, come on, girl. He was cute. 550 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,968 There are two things I know for sure. 551 00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:32,764 Patrick was the love of my life, and this pizza didn't travel well. 552 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,808 He was not the love of your life. Okay? 553 00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:39,979 -There is someone else out there for you. -[Louis] I'm a blind big girl. 554 00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,898 Patrick is the best I'll ever do. 555 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,859 Okay, scoot on out, AJ. 556 00:24:44,943 --> 00:24:48,905 I have some business to do. We got a queen over here feeling sorry for herself. 557 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,157 [grunts] Louis... 558 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:55,161 no one was more sure their love life was over than me. 559 00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:59,332 -But I've been all across this country-- -He had a date in Jackson, Mississippi. 560 00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:01,459 -Ah. -Oh, yes, I did. 561 00:25:01,543 --> 00:25:03,169 A big old date. 562 00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:04,629 And I'm here to tell you... 563 00:25:05,255 --> 00:25:08,132 -there are men out there. -Well, I don't see any. 564 00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:09,717 Pun intended. 565 00:25:09,801 --> 00:25:11,094 [player clicks] 566 00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:13,429 -["It's Raining Men" playing] -♪ Humidity is rising ♪ 567 00:25:13,930 --> 00:25:15,682 ♪ Yeah, baby Barometer's getting low... ♪ 568 00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:18,893 Oh, you think The Weather Girls are gonna jump-start my broken heart? 569 00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:21,062 Don't know. We'll see. 570 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,021 ♪ What sources? ♪ 571 00:25:22,105 --> 00:25:24,691 [both singing along] ♪ The street's the place to go ♪ 572 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,528 ♪ Tonight, for the first time ♪ 573 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:32,073 ♪ At about half past ten ♪ 574 00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:35,827 ♪ For the first time in history ♪ 575 00:25:35,910 --> 00:25:38,580 ♪ It's gonna start raining men... ♪ 576 00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:40,331 Oh, let a big girl in! 577 00:25:40,415 --> 00:25:42,709 -[all singing along] ♪ It's raining men ♪ -Whoo! 578 00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:43,626 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 579 00:25:43,710 --> 00:25:45,378 ♪ It's raining men ♪ 580 00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:47,714 ♪ Amen ♪ 581 00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,507 ♪ I'm gonna go out ♪ 582 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,968 ♪ I'm gonna let myself get ♪ 583 00:25:52,051 --> 00:25:55,847 ♪ Absolutely soaking wet... ♪ 584 00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:57,348 How does she know the words? 585 00:25:57,432 --> 00:25:59,642 -We brushed our teeth to it! -Teeth to it! 586 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:01,686 -[all laugh] -♪ It's raining men ♪ 587 00:26:02,186 --> 00:26:04,606 -♪ Amen ♪ -♪ Every specimen ♪ 588 00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,817 ♪ Tall, dark, blond, and lean... ♪ 589 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:11,446 ♪ Rough and tough and strong and mean ♪ 590 00:26:12,030 --> 00:26:13,906 [indistinct chatter] 591 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:16,200 [AJ] Left. Right. Shoulder. 592 00:26:16,284 --> 00:26:17,660 Oh, thank you, Little Bits. 593 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,121 Steps. 594 00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,001 -Oh, great. -Oh, what's wrong? 595 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:26,961 It's the God Hates Glamour people. 596 00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:28,338 Drag yourself to hell! 597 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:29,255 Hey! 598 00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,798 Get a life! 599 00:26:30,882 --> 00:26:32,133 That's a problem. 600 00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,427 [all chanting] Drag yourself to hell! 601 00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,512 No, AJ. This is America. 602 00:26:36,596 --> 00:26:38,598 Everyone can protest whatever they want. 603 00:26:38,681 --> 00:26:39,974 Well, I'm protesting them. 604 00:26:40,391 --> 00:26:42,393 [Louis chuckles] I like this kid. 605 00:26:42,477 --> 00:26:43,978 [protesters] Drag yourself to hell! 606 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:46,105 [AJ, with protesters] Drag yourself to hell. 607 00:26:46,189 --> 00:26:48,358 -Drag yourself to hell. -AJ! 608 00:26:48,441 --> 00:26:49,484 Sorry, it's catchy. 609 00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:53,905 Well, good morning. Happy pageant day. [chuckles] 610 00:26:53,988 --> 00:26:55,490 Hate to tell you this, Kevin, but... 611 00:26:55,990 --> 00:26:58,117 there are a bunch of protesters setting up out front. 612 00:26:58,201 --> 00:27:00,244 Oh, I know. How exciting. 613 00:27:00,328 --> 00:27:03,956 Ten years on with this pageant, and we are finally on the hate radar. 614 00:27:04,207 --> 00:27:05,875 We made it! [chuckles] 615 00:27:07,043 --> 00:27:08,086 [fan 1] Hi. 616 00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,879 -[fan 2] Here she is, girls! -[fan 3] Oh, my God! 617 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,130 [fan 2] It's Danielle! 618 00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:12,423 [crowd cheers] 619 00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:14,175 -Oh! -[Louis] What is happening? 620 00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:16,177 Why are we suddenly at the Super Bowl? 621 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:19,222 That's my competition. 622 00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:20,973 Bitch has a lot of supporters. 623 00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:23,810 And a Brazilian butt lift. 624 00:27:24,394 --> 00:27:26,521 This is a disaster. Why didn't you dress up? 625 00:27:26,604 --> 00:27:28,773 I am dressed. As the winner. 626 00:27:29,190 --> 00:27:31,401 FYI, I found Colada on LinkedIn. 627 00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:34,028 He's running a daycare in San Diego. 628 00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:36,572 That's too far to make it here by three, right? 629 00:27:36,656 --> 00:27:38,324 Louis, tell this little person 630 00:27:38,408 --> 00:27:43,079 how I slay the house down when I do "Unspeakable Joy." 631 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:44,747 Oh, she sure does. 632 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,750 And she has me to thank. I turned her on to that song. 633 00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:50,461 I used to sing a church version in choir when I was straight. 634 00:27:50,545 --> 00:27:53,172 Hold up. Louis, you were straight? 635 00:27:53,256 --> 00:27:54,882 Before I came out, yes. 636 00:27:54,966 --> 00:27:56,592 So then was everyone else blind? 637 00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:58,928 -Good read, Little Bits. Good read. -[chuckles] 638 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,931 -[Robert] I'll take you to the buffet. -Like I can't find my way to bacon. 639 00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:06,394 [fan 1] Danielle, we are all here to cheer for you. 640 00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:08,020 -How are you? -[fan 2] Oh, girl. 641 00:28:08,354 --> 00:28:10,064 [protesters chanting] Drag yourself to hell! 642 00:28:10,148 --> 00:28:11,816 Drag yourself to hell! 643 00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:15,528 Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 644 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:18,948 Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 645 00:28:19,031 --> 00:28:21,576 Drag yourself to hell! 646 00:28:21,659 --> 00:28:22,952 [indistinct chatter] 647 00:28:23,953 --> 00:28:26,247 Change your queen and cheer for Ruby Red. 648 00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:27,415 Excuse me? 649 00:28:27,832 --> 00:28:30,001 There's $500 in it for each of you. 650 00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:31,210 [sighs, chuckles] 651 00:28:31,294 --> 00:28:32,295 Money don't lie. 652 00:28:32,670 --> 00:28:35,423 [fan 1] I ain't cheap, though, but, sure, give me some cash. 653 00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:37,008 [fan 2] Okay. 654 00:28:37,759 --> 00:28:40,094 Got any friends? Tell 'em to come see me. 655 00:28:40,178 --> 00:28:41,429 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 656 00:28:41,512 --> 00:28:42,930 [indistinct chatter] 657 00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:49,103 -[Kevin] Oh, there you are, Ruby. -[Robert] Oh, hi, Kevin. 658 00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:51,689 We have a little problemo, re: the balcony. 659 00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:54,817 -Your 200 fans have not arrived yet. -What 200 fans? 660 00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:58,279 The only fans she's got coming have "made in China" written on 'em. 661 00:28:58,362 --> 00:28:59,947 I'm sorry, I'm confused. 662 00:29:00,865 --> 00:29:01,699 Look... 663 00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:04,035 the truth is... 664 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:07,705 there's been a terrible accident. 665 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,166 There was an oil slick. 666 00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:12,210 There was a slide. 667 00:29:12,794 --> 00:29:14,629 There was a tip-over. 668 00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:18,508 I think the driver was texting. You know, they usually are. 669 00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:21,093 [clicks tongue] I know I look young, 670 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:23,012 but I did not just fall off the turnip truck. 671 00:29:23,095 --> 00:29:25,014 There are no buses of fans buying tickets. 672 00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:27,475 [Louis] Oh, oh, the 200 fans are on buses. 673 00:29:27,558 --> 00:29:30,102 Oh, yeah, yeah. They're coming. They're coming. 674 00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:32,772 Okay. 675 00:29:32,855 --> 00:29:33,689 Yes. 676 00:29:34,190 --> 00:29:35,900 I only have two fans. 677 00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:37,443 Come again? How many? 678 00:29:37,527 --> 00:29:39,487 Two. And I just soured on this one. 679 00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:40,488 Mm. 680 00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:43,866 The truth is, I am completely broke. 681 00:29:44,867 --> 00:29:48,913 The man I was in love with... grifted me and took all of my money. 682 00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:49,997 Oh, my Lord. 683 00:29:50,081 --> 00:29:53,125 I've been living in that old RV parked in your parking lot 684 00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:54,836 for the last two days because... 685 00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:58,172 I cannot afford a hotel or a motel. 686 00:29:58,256 --> 00:29:59,173 Oh, my Lord. 687 00:29:59,257 --> 00:30:03,177 I thought I had to do something to impress you and your husband. 688 00:30:04,262 --> 00:30:05,596 I'm sorry I lied. 689 00:30:06,180 --> 00:30:10,059 -I just really have to win this pageant, -[sighs] 690 00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:12,395 and I'll do whatever it takes. 691 00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:15,940 That's the pageant way. [chuckles] 692 00:30:16,691 --> 00:30:19,193 Now, you give that same speech to the judges. 693 00:30:19,944 --> 00:30:20,945 But with tears. 694 00:30:22,947 --> 00:30:23,948 Thank you. 695 00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:26,325 You're so understanding. 696 00:30:27,243 --> 00:30:30,329 You know, you really are gonna be a wonderful father. 697 00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:33,040 Oh! [chuckles] 698 00:30:34,834 --> 00:30:36,669 Oh, hey, there. Ewan, hon... 699 00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:39,922 And that's how you win a pageant, bitch. 700 00:30:40,548 --> 00:30:41,507 Yeah. 701 00:30:41,591 --> 00:30:42,633 -[man] Hello. -Hi. 702 00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:46,596 Sure, you like your queen, but is she paying you anything? 703 00:30:46,679 --> 00:30:47,763 Well, no. 704 00:30:47,847 --> 00:30:49,765 And there's more where this came from, 705 00:30:50,266 --> 00:30:51,601 ladies. 706 00:30:51,684 --> 00:30:53,561 She tried to bribe my fans, too. 707 00:30:53,644 --> 00:30:56,731 My support groups from AA, NA, and PA. 708 00:30:57,273 --> 00:30:58,232 What's PA? 709 00:30:58,316 --> 00:30:59,442 Pennsylvania. 710 00:31:00,026 --> 00:31:03,529 Well, I've come too far and put too much stuff in my butt to lose. 711 00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:04,906 This is my year. 712 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:07,783 Oh, everybody knows it. 713 00:31:07,867 --> 00:31:11,203 Sorry, I was just thinking about how I'd really like a drink right now. 714 00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:13,915 Ewan, what's the deal with that kid? 715 00:31:14,874 --> 00:31:17,293 Um, so tragic. 716 00:31:17,376 --> 00:31:18,961 She told me her whole story. 717 00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:21,672 Her mama's a drug addict in New York City, 718 00:31:21,756 --> 00:31:23,257 so she's traveling with Ruby. 719 00:31:23,341 --> 00:31:26,677 [Danielle] So that queen brought a minor across state lines without a parent? 720 00:31:26,761 --> 00:31:29,680 Mm-hmm. Said all she wants in the whole wide world 721 00:31:29,764 --> 00:31:33,559 is for her African-American friend to win Miss Drag USA. 722 00:31:33,643 --> 00:31:35,603 Well, Ruby better bring it, 723 00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:38,898 'cause those judges are suckers for a crowd-pleaser like you, Danielle. 724 00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:42,568 -[chuckles] -Why didn't you tell him about her? 725 00:31:42,652 --> 00:31:43,527 I have a better plan 726 00:31:43,611 --> 00:31:46,989 to get that little brat out of my very expensive human hair wigs. 727 00:31:47,073 --> 00:31:48,950 -[woman] Thank you for coming. -[sighs] 728 00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:52,244 Oh, she better not be pulling out money in front of my gamblers. 729 00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:53,663 They cannot cope. 730 00:31:56,374 --> 00:31:57,833 [Lady Danger] I don't see his car, 731 00:31:57,917 --> 00:32:00,878 but this tracker says that bitch is here somewhere. 732 00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:02,213 Okay. 733 00:32:02,755 --> 00:32:04,799 You said we were going to New Orleans. 734 00:32:04,882 --> 00:32:06,509 Now we're in Dallas. 735 00:32:07,093 --> 00:32:09,136 Stick with me, I'll show you the world. 736 00:32:09,220 --> 00:32:12,515 [protesters chanting] Drag yourself to hell! 737 00:32:12,598 --> 00:32:14,308 -Drag yourself to hell! -[Lady Danger] Wow, 738 00:32:14,392 --> 00:32:17,228 came running right back to your girlfriend. 739 00:32:18,479 --> 00:32:19,313 Hey! 740 00:32:20,648 --> 00:32:22,024 This is getting weird now. 741 00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:24,694 -[protesters] Drag yourself to hell! -I'm into it. 742 00:32:25,319 --> 00:32:26,487 Wait right here. 743 00:32:27,446 --> 00:32:28,489 Where am I going? 744 00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:31,826 [protesters] Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 745 00:32:31,909 --> 00:32:33,703 Drag yourself to hell! 746 00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:35,705 Hey, I'm a woman! 747 00:32:35,788 --> 00:32:37,123 Yeah, she's a woman! 748 00:32:38,124 --> 00:32:38,958 I think. 749 00:32:39,750 --> 00:32:42,753 Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 750 00:32:42,837 --> 00:32:44,797 -[Lady Danger grunts] -[lock creaks] 751 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,340 [protesters] Drag yourself to hell! 752 00:32:46,757 --> 00:32:48,259 Drag yourself to hell! 753 00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:50,636 [protesters continue chanting] 754 00:32:51,512 --> 00:32:53,931 [sighs] Where did you put it, bitch? 755 00:32:54,515 --> 00:32:55,516 Where's my money? 756 00:32:56,183 --> 00:32:57,810 Wigs? Shitty wigs. 757 00:33:05,568 --> 00:33:07,361 Ooh, Gucci. 758 00:33:07,778 --> 00:33:09,238 [gasps] 759 00:33:09,780 --> 00:33:12,616 There you are. Paid your girlfriend back, did you? 760 00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:16,078 [sighs] 761 00:33:18,581 --> 00:33:20,750 Maybe I'll pay her back too. 762 00:33:27,423 --> 00:33:28,340 [chuckles softly] 763 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:32,219 Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 764 00:33:32,303 --> 00:33:34,055 -Drag yourself to hell! -[Robert] AJ's right. 765 00:33:34,138 --> 00:33:35,806 -It is catchy. -[chuckles] 766 00:33:35,890 --> 00:33:37,183 Oh, my God. 767 00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:38,976 Sticks and stones, AJ. 768 00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:40,144 Not them. 769 00:33:41,687 --> 00:33:42,855 -That. -What? 770 00:33:43,439 --> 00:33:45,608 -[protesters] Drag yourself to hell! -[Louis] What? 771 00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:46,734 My wigs... 772 00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:48,736 hung and destroyed! 773 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:52,031 No! What kind of sicko would do that? 774 00:33:52,114 --> 00:33:53,449 Drag yourself to hell! 775 00:33:53,866 --> 00:33:57,453 AJ, stay here with Louis. And don't move. 776 00:33:57,536 --> 00:33:59,371 What about sticks and stones? 777 00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:01,707 Sticks and stones are one thing. 778 00:34:01,791 --> 00:34:04,085 Wigs? Never. 779 00:34:04,794 --> 00:34:07,838 -[protesters] Drag yourself to hell! -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 780 00:34:07,922 --> 00:34:08,839 Yeah. 781 00:34:08,923 --> 00:34:10,257 I get it. 782 00:34:10,466 --> 00:34:12,176 I get it. 783 00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:14,261 But newsflash, 784 00:34:14,345 --> 00:34:15,971 I'm not going to hell. 785 00:34:16,055 --> 00:34:20,309 I'm already in hell. Right here in this parking lot. 786 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:21,685 We all are. 787 00:34:21,769 --> 00:34:24,188 Ma'am, this idea 788 00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:26,774 of us being different 789 00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:31,320 or better than each other or separate from each other, 790 00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:32,738 that's hell. 791 00:34:32,822 --> 00:34:36,408 And so what? I wear dresses, and I'm not a woman. 792 00:34:36,492 --> 00:34:38,869 But you're wearing a Dallas Cowboy jersey, 793 00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:40,788 and you are not a pro football player. 794 00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:42,957 And you're wearing desert camo pants. 795 00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:45,709 We are not in the Sahara. 796 00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:48,671 And, yes, I wear wigs. 797 00:34:48,754 --> 00:34:49,755 So what? 798 00:34:50,464 --> 00:34:52,883 Ma'am, you're wearing a wig. You are. 799 00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:55,719 Or a piece or one of those halo rings, 800 00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:58,430 because there's no way your hair is that full. 801 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:04,270 How would you like it if I hung your wig like you all hung my wigs over there? 802 00:35:04,353 --> 00:35:06,605 We didn't hang any wigs. 803 00:35:06,689 --> 00:35:10,109 We are busy over here trying to save souls. 804 00:35:10,609 --> 00:35:11,652 Wait, are you telling me 805 00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:15,030 that all those wigs were so depressed, they what? Hung themselves? 806 00:35:15,114 --> 00:35:18,117 There was a drag queen in gaudy blue spandex 807 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,619 -over there stringing 'em up. -[man] That's right. 808 00:35:20,703 --> 00:35:23,372 -[woman 1] That's right. That's the truth. -[woman 2] Of course. 809 00:35:23,455 --> 00:35:26,208 Well, we've all made assumptions today. 810 00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:29,295 I assumed you all hung my wigs, 811 00:35:29,378 --> 00:35:32,173 and you all assumed God hates drag queens. 812 00:35:34,216 --> 00:35:35,050 Come on. 813 00:35:35,718 --> 00:35:37,303 Drag yourself to hell! 814 00:35:37,386 --> 00:35:40,681 [protesters] Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 815 00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:42,308 Drag yourself to hell! 816 00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:47,354 Well, that's it then. 817 00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:49,940 No prize money for me. 818 00:35:50,024 --> 00:35:54,945 I cannot win a drag pageant without three big ol' hair changes. 819 00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:57,698 -That's just the law. -[knocking on door] 820 00:35:58,949 --> 00:36:00,451 It's some of those queens. 821 00:36:03,746 --> 00:36:06,165 They got some balls walking up in here. 822 00:36:06,624 --> 00:36:07,917 Mm-hmm. 823 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,335 -[contestant 1] Hello. -Oh. 824 00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:12,171 -[Robert] Hello, ladies. -[contestant] Hi. 825 00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:14,131 Here to take my tucking tape? 826 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,010 Look, I know we shared some fightin' words. 827 00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:20,054 -That's the pageant way. -[contestants] Mm-hmm. 828 00:36:20,137 --> 00:36:24,141 But you've got some nerve showing up here after you killed my wigs. 829 00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:26,602 -[contestants gasp] -We didn't do this. 830 00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:28,854 Sticks and stones are one thing. 831 00:36:29,438 --> 00:36:32,608 Wigs? Never. Come on, girl, give me the wigs. 832 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:37,112 All of us ladies got together, and... here. 833 00:36:37,863 --> 00:36:40,866 We know red's your thing. Maybe you could do something with these. 834 00:36:40,950 --> 00:36:42,993 -[contestant 3] Mm-hmm. -[contestants chuckle] 835 00:36:43,077 --> 00:36:45,663 It's just like the end of It's A Wonderful Life. 836 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:48,082 -[contestant 4] Aw! -[all chuckle] 837 00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:50,584 [announcer on PA] Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. 838 00:36:50,668 --> 00:36:52,419 -The pageant... -[Louis] Mm. 839 00:36:52,503 --> 00:36:54,922 Does this look as good as it feels? 840 00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:56,465 Better. 841 00:36:57,007 --> 00:37:00,678 We went from It's A Wonderful Life to it's a wonderful wig. 842 00:37:00,761 --> 00:37:02,680 [both laugh] 843 00:37:03,472 --> 00:37:06,308 [AJ] Yep. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. 844 00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:09,979 [Ruby] All right, y'all, I'm gonna need a minute to focus. 845 00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:13,023 -I have to win this. -Don't worry. 846 00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,567 You just do your own thing. 847 00:37:15,651 --> 00:37:17,403 I got everything else handled. 848 00:37:17,486 --> 00:37:18,529 What does that mean? 849 00:37:19,488 --> 00:37:21,949 AJ, the queen needs the room. 850 00:37:22,032 --> 00:37:24,618 [laughs] 851 00:37:24,702 --> 00:37:26,537 [contestant 1] Powder! Who has powder? 852 00:37:26,620 --> 00:37:29,164 -[takes deep breath] -[contestant 2] I said 301s. 853 00:37:29,248 --> 00:37:30,874 [contestant 3] I am so sorry... 854 00:37:33,043 --> 00:37:33,919 [exhales] 855 00:37:34,003 --> 00:37:37,923 [announcer on PA] Attention, all queens. All queens to be on stage in half an hour. 856 00:37:38,215 --> 00:37:40,968 All queens to be on stage in one half hour. 857 00:37:42,094 --> 00:37:44,096 -[tapping on door] -Hi. 858 00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:45,055 [gasps] 859 00:37:46,724 --> 00:37:48,392 [contestant 4] Oh, I heard that. 860 00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:53,147 -Don't close that door! -Okay. Yeah, I won't. I get it. 861 00:37:53,605 --> 00:37:55,649 [scoffs] What are you... 862 00:37:56,734 --> 00:37:57,985 How did you find me? 863 00:37:58,068 --> 00:37:59,153 You always talked about 864 00:37:59,236 --> 00:38:02,406 how you were going to do the pageant to make money for the club renovations. 865 00:38:04,742 --> 00:38:06,035 Did you get my message? 866 00:38:15,711 --> 00:38:16,754 I'm sorry. 867 00:38:18,339 --> 00:38:19,965 I'm so sorry, Robert. 868 00:38:20,049 --> 00:38:21,675 Okay, whose money is that? 869 00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:23,969 It's yours. 870 00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:26,138 Whose money is that? 871 00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:28,223 It's not important. It's what I owe you. 872 00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:29,516 All but 4,000... 873 00:38:30,351 --> 00:38:33,228 which I used to get myself this suit, because I... 874 00:38:33,896 --> 00:38:35,481 wanted to look nice for you. 875 00:38:37,149 --> 00:38:38,150 Great, okay. 876 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:40,235 -You can leave-- -Can I... 877 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:41,695 I will. 878 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:44,615 I'll leave, but can I tell you something first? 879 00:38:44,698 --> 00:38:45,532 [Ruby] Leave 880 00:38:45,616 --> 00:38:47,034 or I will call security. 881 00:38:47,117 --> 00:38:48,702 Please, Robert. Please, just... 882 00:38:49,370 --> 00:38:52,081 give me a minute here. I just need a minute, okay? 883 00:38:52,873 --> 00:38:53,707 Okay? 884 00:38:57,378 --> 00:38:59,546 Look, it wasn't... 885 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:01,673 all a lie. 886 00:39:02,257 --> 00:39:03,258 I think I'm... 887 00:39:04,885 --> 00:39:08,013 [sighs, chuckles softly] 888 00:39:08,305 --> 00:39:10,474 ...I think I may feel things for you. 889 00:39:13,811 --> 00:39:14,728 [sighs] 890 00:39:18,357 --> 00:39:20,692 So you're telling me that you're really gay now? 891 00:39:20,776 --> 00:39:21,860 I don't... 892 00:39:25,489 --> 00:39:26,824 I don't know about that. 893 00:39:27,282 --> 00:39:29,827 All I know is that it's you. 894 00:39:32,955 --> 00:39:34,665 I think about you. 895 00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,252 This is just another scam. 896 00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:42,840 And it's the cruelest one, because I had real feelings for you. 897 00:39:45,843 --> 00:39:47,177 And you destroyed me. 898 00:39:48,679 --> 00:39:51,390 [announcer on PA] Ladies and gentlemen, take your seats. The pageant... 899 00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:55,269 So I'm thinking we use your disability to get in the front row. 900 00:39:55,352 --> 00:39:57,521 Then we're thinking the same thing. 901 00:39:57,604 --> 00:39:59,314 I've been informed by the police 902 00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:02,109 that what y'all've been doing is called racketeering. 903 00:40:02,693 --> 00:40:05,696 It's against the law. And, on closer examination, 904 00:40:05,779 --> 00:40:07,906 [scoffs] it's just plain tacky. 905 00:40:08,657 --> 00:40:10,451 [Louis] What did you do, AJ? What's happening? 906 00:40:10,534 --> 00:40:13,162 I bribed a bunch of people to vote for Ruby, and now the cops are here 907 00:40:13,245 --> 00:40:15,497 with someone that looks like she's from Social Services. 908 00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:17,040 Where'd you get the money to bribe anybody? 909 00:40:17,124 --> 00:40:18,917 -It's counterfeit. -Oh, shit. 910 00:40:19,001 --> 00:40:21,962 -I gotta go. -[Louis] Wait, where are you going? 911 00:40:22,045 --> 00:40:24,089 [AJ] To get Robert and to get out of here. 912 00:40:24,173 --> 00:40:26,133 [Louis] Excuse me. Watch where you're walking! 913 00:40:26,216 --> 00:40:27,384 -[both groan] -[cane clatters] 914 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:28,302 Cane down. 915 00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:31,180 Cane down. Cane down. 916 00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:32,723 [excited chatter] 917 00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:36,185 [Ruby] How dare you use something as painful as coming out 918 00:40:36,268 --> 00:40:39,021 to sucker me into whatever it is 919 00:40:39,104 --> 00:40:41,815 you and Lady Danger are setting me up for next? 920 00:40:41,899 --> 00:40:44,693 This has nothing to do with Lady Danger. I'm on my own. 921 00:40:44,776 --> 00:40:46,153 -You have to believe me. -Okay. 922 00:40:47,863 --> 00:40:48,947 [man 1] Guys, stage left. 923 00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:51,033 [man 2 on PA] Mic check, one, two. One, two. 924 00:40:51,116 --> 00:40:52,451 Mic check, one, two. 925 00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:56,246 One, two, three, four. Check. 926 00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:00,125 Just kiss me. 927 00:41:02,419 --> 00:41:03,837 Please, just kiss me. 928 00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:05,631 If you kiss me, 929 00:41:05,714 --> 00:41:08,759 I know that you're gonna feel what I'm trying to say to you. 930 00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:10,219 Okay. Okay. 931 00:41:11,595 --> 00:41:12,638 I-I'll kiss you. 932 00:41:12,721 --> 00:41:14,473 -[Damien] Okay. -Just come here. 933 00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:18,560 Close your eyes, and I'll kiss you. 934 00:41:19,645 --> 00:41:20,938 -[AJ grunts] -[Ruby gasps] 935 00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:23,273 -Ah! -[AJ] Oh! No, no, no! 936 00:41:23,857 --> 00:41:25,275 -Oh, my God! -[Ruby] Good one! 937 00:41:25,359 --> 00:41:27,152 [AJ] Did I kill him? I didn't mean to kill him! 938 00:41:27,236 --> 00:41:29,655 No, no, no, he's still breathing. He's just knocked out. 939 00:41:29,738 --> 00:41:30,906 We gotta get out of here. 940 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,950 That Danielle queen must have called the cops 941 00:41:33,033 --> 00:41:35,035 -and Social Services. -What? 942 00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:37,663 They're in the lobby. And if they get me, 943 00:41:37,746 --> 00:41:40,332 they'll take me away, and I'll never go to Pop Pop's. 944 00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:42,584 Okay, we've come too far to let that happen. 945 00:41:42,668 --> 00:41:43,877 Is this our counterfeit money? 946 00:41:43,961 --> 00:41:45,921 No, he brought it. Said it was mine. 947 00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:48,423 -I don't know whose it really is. -It's yours. 948 00:41:48,507 --> 00:41:52,219 You're not winning this pageant now. You need the money to start your new life. 949 00:41:52,302 --> 00:41:53,303 Yeah, give it to me. 950 00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:54,972 Come on! 951 00:41:55,055 --> 00:41:57,307 ["I'm On My Way" playing] 952 00:41:57,891 --> 00:41:59,726 -[Ruby] Come on. -[Louis] Excuse me! 953 00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,687 [announcer on PA] All queens to be on stage. 954 00:42:01,770 --> 00:42:04,189 Stay here. I'll be back to pick you up. 955 00:42:04,273 --> 00:42:06,942 I have to take AJ to Pop Pop's now. 956 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:08,610 Uh, what about the pageant? 957 00:42:08,694 --> 00:42:12,114 Nobody cares about some drag queens' beauty pageant anymore! 958 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:14,741 [gasps] Oh, I disagree. 959 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:16,660 [grunts] Excuse me! 960 00:42:18,412 --> 00:42:20,914 -[both grunt] -Blind man walking! 961 00:42:22,833 --> 00:42:24,960 -♪ I'm on my way ♪ -Why do you move so slow? 962 00:42:25,836 --> 00:42:28,547 -[protesters] Drag yourself to hell! -♪ Nothing can stop me now ♪ 963 00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:29,923 Run. Run. 964 00:42:30,674 --> 00:42:32,718 -[tires squeal] -♪ I'm on my way ♪ 965 00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:36,096 [protesters] Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 966 00:42:36,847 --> 00:42:39,600 [shouting] Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 967 00:42:39,683 --> 00:42:41,768 Drag yourself to hell! 968 00:42:41,852 --> 00:42:43,353 That is too fast. 969 00:42:43,979 --> 00:42:47,232 Drag yourself to hell! Drag yourself to hell! 970 00:42:47,316 --> 00:42:50,068 [announcer] We still have more beautiful ladies to come, 971 00:42:50,152 --> 00:42:52,529 and we're starting it out with number ten, 972 00:42:52,613 --> 00:42:54,531 Lee Saint Lee! 973 00:42:54,615 --> 00:42:56,867 [audience cheers and applauds] 974 00:42:59,828 --> 00:43:03,248 Queen number 11, Miss Ruby Red! 975 00:43:06,877 --> 00:43:08,545 And queen number 12, 976 00:43:08,629 --> 00:43:11,465 Miss Danielle Dupri! 977 00:43:21,725 --> 00:43:23,977 Well, there seems to have been a mistake. 978 00:43:24,061 --> 00:43:26,355 Queen number 11 is not Ruby Red. 979 00:43:26,647 --> 00:43:27,481 [audience gasps] 980 00:43:27,564 --> 00:43:30,692 Ruby had a family emergency. I'm competing in her place. 981 00:43:31,318 --> 00:43:33,070 [Kevin] Highly irregular. 982 00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:35,614 The rules state that the person who enters the pageant 983 00:43:35,697 --> 00:43:38,533 actually has to compete in the pageant. 984 00:43:38,617 --> 00:43:39,993 To hell with the rules! 985 00:43:40,077 --> 00:43:43,121 Ruby had a family emergency. Let the girl compete. 986 00:43:43,205 --> 00:43:45,082 [audience cheers] 987 00:43:45,165 --> 00:43:46,583 [speaking indistinctly] 988 00:43:46,667 --> 00:43:47,501 Thank you. 989 00:43:47,584 --> 00:43:48,460 Sure. 990 00:43:48,919 --> 00:43:50,671 And your dress is open in the back. 991 00:43:50,754 --> 00:43:53,298 I know, girl. Not my dress, not my size. 992 00:43:56,009 --> 00:43:57,010 You're blind? 993 00:43:57,552 --> 00:43:58,553 Yes, I am. 994 00:43:59,054 --> 00:44:00,597 Who's winning now, bitch? 995 00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:04,893 ♪ M to the R to the S ♪ 996 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:07,354 ♪ International everything ♪ 997 00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:11,191 ♪ Is Alaska a country? ♪ 998 00:44:11,692 --> 00:44:13,402 ♪ M to the R to the S ♪ 999 00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,654 ♪ International everything ♪ 1000 00:44:16,863 --> 00:44:18,532 [audience cheering and whooping] 1001 00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:26,873 -Oh, my. -Hope you can follow that, Helen Keller. 1002 00:44:26,957 --> 00:44:29,501 -[sighs] -Danielle Dupri! 1003 00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:33,171 Ah, "Dupri" must be French for "sexy," 'cause those men were hot. 1004 00:44:33,255 --> 00:44:36,341 Wasn't she fantastic, ladies and gentlemen? 1005 00:44:36,425 --> 00:44:37,759 [audience cheers] 1006 00:44:37,843 --> 00:44:39,970 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 1007 00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:42,639 here to perform "Unspeakable Joy," 1008 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:44,766 Miss Ruby Red. 1009 00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:47,561 Correction. 1010 00:44:47,644 --> 00:44:50,856 Miss Cocoa Butter, performing for Miss Ruby Red. 1011 00:44:50,939 --> 00:44:52,858 -[man 1] You go, girl! -[man 2] Yeah! 1012 00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:54,443 [audience] Oh! 1013 00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,654 Well, he got the sympathy vote. 1014 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,700 Well, I'm just gonna tell the judges I've got cystic fibrosis or something. 1015 00:45:01,783 --> 00:45:04,202 -More like sissy fibrosis. -[chuckles] 1016 00:45:04,578 --> 00:45:08,123 Ruby was planning on dancing her ass off up in here this afternoon... 1017 00:45:08,749 --> 00:45:10,542 but I'll do what I can. 1018 00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:11,543 [man 3] All right. 1019 00:45:11,626 --> 00:45:13,503 For her and you all. 1020 00:45:13,587 --> 00:45:15,964 [speaking indistinctly] 1021 00:45:16,381 --> 00:45:20,010 -[singing] ♪ I'm talking 'bout joy ♪ -[piano playing] 1022 00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:24,222 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 1023 00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:30,645 ♪ Yeah, unspeakable joy ♪ 1024 00:45:30,729 --> 00:45:33,899 [audience applauds and cheers] 1025 00:45:34,274 --> 00:45:36,735 ♪ When I wake up ♪ 1026 00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:38,945 ♪ In the morning ♪ 1027 00:45:39,029 --> 00:45:41,948 ♪ It gets me out of bed ♪ 1028 00:45:42,574 --> 00:45:46,661 -♪ Keeps me runnin', skippin', jumpin' ♪ -Whoo! 1029 00:45:46,745 --> 00:45:50,791 ♪ Just like a little kid ♪ 1030 00:45:51,583 --> 00:45:55,921 ♪ I did not get it from any woman or man ♪ 1031 00:45:56,004 --> 00:46:00,091 ♪ And it's okay if they don't understand ♪ 1032 00:46:00,175 --> 00:46:04,554 ♪ It's very easy To get caught in circumstance ♪ 1033 00:46:04,638 --> 00:46:11,520 ♪ It's even easier To break out and dance ♪ 1034 00:46:11,603 --> 00:46:14,231 ♪ Joy to the world ♪ 1035 00:46:14,856 --> 00:46:18,193 ♪ All the boys and girls ♪ 1036 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:21,446 ♪ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea ♪ 1037 00:46:21,530 --> 00:46:24,658 ♪ Joy to you and me ♪ 1038 00:46:24,741 --> 00:46:27,911 ♪ If I was the queen of the world ♪ 1039 00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:31,164 ♪ I'll tell you what I'd do ♪ 1040 00:46:31,248 --> 00:46:34,668 ♪ I'd throw away the cars And bars and wars ♪ 1041 00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:37,045 ♪ And make sweet love to you ♪ 1042 00:46:37,128 --> 00:46:40,382 -♪ I'd make sweet love to you ♪ -[audience cheers] 1043 00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:41,925 [Louis] ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 1044 00:46:42,008 --> 00:46:47,514 ♪ To the fishes in the deep blue sea! ♪ 1045 00:46:47,597 --> 00:46:51,059 -[audience applauds and cheers] -♪ Oh, unspeakable joy ♪ 1046 00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:55,480 ♪ Unspeakable joy ♪ 1047 00:46:56,064 --> 00:46:58,567 ♪ To you and ♪ 1048 00:46:58,650 --> 00:46:59,776 [takes deep breath] 1049 00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:06,032 ♪ Me ♪ 1050 00:47:06,116 --> 00:47:10,662 -♪ Yeah ♪ -[audience cheers] 1051 00:47:16,084 --> 00:47:16,918 Hey. 1052 00:47:17,711 --> 00:47:21,172 I got this from the charity wig basket. Can you put it on my head? 1053 00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:23,466 -Why? -I don't know if you noticed, 1054 00:47:23,550 --> 00:47:25,427 but I screwed my hair up big-time. 1055 00:47:26,052 --> 00:47:28,221 And I want to look normal when Pop Pop meets me. 1056 00:47:28,305 --> 00:47:31,141 Well, I've grown to love your hair like this. 1057 00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:32,976 I think this hair is everything. 1058 00:47:33,310 --> 00:47:35,687 But he thinks I'm his granddaughter, 1059 00:47:36,313 --> 00:47:38,690 so I have to look like a girl when he meets me. 1060 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,150 Don't want to freak him out. 1061 00:47:40,984 --> 00:47:43,904 You're asking me to put you in little girl drag? 1062 00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:53,914 [sheep bleats] 1063 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:02,047 [sighs] Well. 1064 00:48:04,341 --> 00:48:05,342 This is it. 1065 00:48:06,635 --> 00:48:08,303 Yep, this is it. 1066 00:48:12,015 --> 00:48:14,643 And that must be Chestnut and Buster near the barn. 1067 00:48:15,894 --> 00:48:16,895 [horse neighs] 1068 00:48:18,980 --> 00:48:20,190 Are you sure about that bow? 1069 00:48:20,982 --> 00:48:22,943 It's good. I look like a granddaughter. 1070 00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:25,028 [chuckles] Okay, fine. I just... 1071 00:48:25,445 --> 00:48:26,529 hate cliché drag. 1072 00:48:28,031 --> 00:48:29,616 Well, we're here. 1073 00:48:30,158 --> 00:48:31,701 Let's go meet Pop Pop. 1074 00:48:32,202 --> 00:48:33,203 Robert... 1075 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:36,539 I don't want you to come in. 1076 00:48:39,084 --> 00:48:39,918 What? 1077 00:48:40,669 --> 00:48:42,587 I don't know how he feels about drag. 1078 00:48:43,171 --> 00:48:45,799 Maybe he's like one of those protesters. 1079 00:48:47,467 --> 00:48:49,552 And if you come up, he might not take me. 1080 00:48:51,888 --> 00:48:54,849 Well, if that's the case, why would you even want to stay here? 1081 00:48:55,767 --> 00:48:56,768 'Cause I have to. 1082 00:48:57,936 --> 00:48:58,937 It's my plan. 1083 00:49:00,355 --> 00:49:01,398 But don't worry, 1084 00:49:03,066 --> 00:49:05,318 I'll change his mind about all that gay stuff. 1085 00:49:06,444 --> 00:49:08,321 I just gotta get inside first. 1086 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:11,574 Well... 1087 00:49:12,367 --> 00:49:15,328 I'm not gonna just leave you here in the middle of the road. 1088 00:49:15,912 --> 00:49:16,746 Okay. 1089 00:49:17,247 --> 00:49:19,749 Then can you go up the hill where he can't see you? 1090 00:49:22,335 --> 00:49:23,837 He doesn't know you like I do. 1091 00:49:25,255 --> 00:49:27,507 [sniffles] Fine. 1092 00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:30,301 I'll be up the road. 1093 00:49:31,344 --> 00:49:32,929 [takes deep breath] 1094 00:49:34,764 --> 00:49:37,183 If there's any problem or... 1095 00:49:37,851 --> 00:49:40,311 if you need me to come back for any reason... 1096 00:49:43,356 --> 00:49:44,441 just wave to me. 1097 00:49:47,277 --> 00:49:48,903 And after you change his mind... 1098 00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:52,741 maybe I'll come back and... 1099 00:49:54,868 --> 00:49:56,578 give you all a show. 1100 00:50:00,790 --> 00:50:01,624 Cool. 1101 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:06,463 I'm gonna go now. Okay? 1102 00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:12,427 What about your backpack? 1103 00:50:13,636 --> 00:50:15,305 [AJ] I don't need it anymore. 1104 00:50:16,139 --> 00:50:17,348 [sighs] 1105 00:50:27,275 --> 00:50:29,277 [engine starts] 1106 00:50:37,577 --> 00:50:38,578 [AJ] Hello? 1107 00:50:39,829 --> 00:50:40,914 [man] Door's open. 1108 00:50:43,333 --> 00:50:44,334 [AJ] Pop Pop? 1109 00:50:56,763 --> 00:50:58,723 [Ewan] Aren't these ladies fabulous? 1110 00:50:58,807 --> 00:51:03,186 We have crowned three of them, when all 30 really could be queen. 1111 00:51:04,771 --> 00:51:10,360 All right, we've got two more alternates and one more queen to crown this evening. 1112 00:51:10,443 --> 00:51:14,405 Ladies and gentlemen, the second alternate winner is... 1113 00:51:16,116 --> 00:51:17,867 Miss Lee Saint Lee! 1114 00:51:17,951 --> 00:51:20,286 -[audience cheers] -Oh, me? 1115 00:51:25,959 --> 00:51:29,587 And the first alternate winner this evening is... 1116 00:51:30,839 --> 00:51:32,298 Miss Cocoa Butter! 1117 00:51:32,382 --> 00:51:35,051 [audience cheers] 1118 00:51:58,158 --> 00:51:59,701 There they are, folks. 1119 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:04,497 Your top five hopefuls for Miss America 1995. 1120 00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:07,125 Fourth runner-up... 1121 00:52:08,084 --> 00:52:10,503 Miss Hawaii, Lalani Kali. 1122 00:52:10,587 --> 00:52:11,504 [audience cheers] 1123 00:52:18,970 --> 00:52:20,013 [Ewan] So exciting. 1124 00:52:20,096 --> 00:52:22,140 You know what this means, don't you? 1125 00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:25,602 Your new Drag Miss USA is... 1126 00:52:26,728 --> 00:52:28,229 Danielle Dupri! 1127 00:52:28,313 --> 00:52:29,564 [audience cheers] 1128 00:52:31,316 --> 00:52:32,442 Oh, my God! 1129 00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:33,735 Thank you. 1130 00:52:34,194 --> 00:52:36,196 [dance music playing] 1131 00:52:49,667 --> 00:52:51,419 Where's my crown at? 1132 00:52:53,588 --> 00:52:55,673 Where's my damn crown? 1133 00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:10,939 [Ruby chuckles softly] 1134 00:53:22,158 --> 00:53:23,159 What? 1135 00:53:39,008 --> 00:53:41,386 Stamps. It's just stamps. 1136 00:53:42,178 --> 00:53:44,389 No postage marks. What? 1137 00:53:50,603 --> 00:53:52,146 That's a woman's handwriting. 1138 00:53:57,277 --> 00:53:58,778 [engine starts] 1139 00:53:59,904 --> 00:54:01,281 [tires screech] 1140 00:54:08,830 --> 00:54:09,664 Whoa! 1141 00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:10,999 Sorry, but... 1142 00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:13,167 where is the little girl? 1143 00:54:13,251 --> 00:54:15,461 -Oh, that little sweet thing? -[Ruby] Yeah. 1144 00:54:15,545 --> 00:54:16,838 All kind of confused. 1145 00:54:17,338 --> 00:54:18,923 She ran out the back door. 1146 00:54:23,261 --> 00:54:25,263 [Ruby gasps] 1147 00:54:30,852 --> 00:54:31,811 [Ruby] AJ! 1148 00:54:40,445 --> 00:54:41,321 AJ! 1149 00:54:42,572 --> 00:54:43,781 AJ! 1150 00:54:44,198 --> 00:54:45,366 AJ, stop! 1151 00:54:46,034 --> 00:54:47,410 I'm wearing heels! 1152 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:50,288 [panting] Where... 1153 00:54:51,456 --> 00:54:53,666 -where are you going? -[AJ] To find Pop Pop. 1154 00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:57,003 -He must be up near Chestnut and Buster. -AJ... 1155 00:54:57,920 --> 00:54:59,756 this is not where Pop Pop lives. 1156 00:55:00,715 --> 00:55:02,675 It is! It says it on the card. 1157 00:55:02,759 --> 00:55:03,593 No. 1158 00:55:03,676 --> 00:55:05,803 Your mother must have written the card. 1159 00:55:05,887 --> 00:55:07,930 It was never really sent. 1160 00:55:08,723 --> 00:55:10,933 [voice shaking] Shut up! They're from my grandpa. 1161 00:55:11,017 --> 00:55:12,101 AJ, no, please. 1162 00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:15,605 Listen, I don't think there is a Pop Pop. 1163 00:55:16,731 --> 00:55:19,609 Look, the picture... his picture wasn't real either. 1164 00:55:19,692 --> 00:55:21,486 No way. That is my Pop Pop! 1165 00:55:21,569 --> 00:55:24,614 AJ, honey, listen. Listen to me. Listen, it's just like you said to me. 1166 00:55:25,031 --> 00:55:26,366 I know you want it to be real 1167 00:55:26,449 --> 00:55:28,618 and I want it to be real for you too, but... 1168 00:55:28,701 --> 00:55:29,535 it isn't. 1169 00:55:29,619 --> 00:55:30,536 It's all... 1170 00:55:31,579 --> 00:55:33,164 it's all made-up. 1171 00:55:34,624 --> 00:55:38,002 I think your mother couldn't give you anything else, so she gave you Pop Pop. 1172 00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:41,089 [grunts] 1173 00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:44,258 [Ruby] AJ! 1174 00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:46,010 AJ, stop! 1175 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:49,555 Why? Why should I stop? 1176 00:55:50,056 --> 00:55:53,643 Why? Nobody wants me! Nobody! 1177 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,104 [crying] 1178 00:55:58,439 --> 00:55:59,315 AJ... 1179 00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:01,776 I want you. 1180 00:56:03,027 --> 00:56:04,487 I want you. 1181 00:56:05,446 --> 00:56:06,489 I want you. 1182 00:56:07,698 --> 00:56:09,367 -[AJ sobs] -I want you. 1183 00:56:10,910 --> 00:56:11,869 I want you, baby. 1184 00:56:13,621 --> 00:56:15,415 [both crying] 1185 00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:17,291 I want you. 1186 00:56:19,252 --> 00:56:20,670 [Brianna] Amber Jasmine! 1187 00:56:21,504 --> 00:56:22,588 It's Mama! 1188 00:56:45,736 --> 00:56:46,779 [AJ] I hate you! 1189 00:56:47,363 --> 00:56:49,949 I hate you! I hate you so much. 1190 00:56:50,616 --> 00:56:53,578 [Brianna crying] I love you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. 1191 00:56:53,870 --> 00:56:55,163 I really am. I'm sorry. 1192 00:56:55,788 --> 00:56:56,789 I'm sorry. 1193 00:56:57,457 --> 00:56:58,458 I'm sorry. 1194 00:56:58,875 --> 00:56:59,876 I love you. 1195 00:57:00,543 --> 00:57:01,836 I love you, baby. 1196 00:57:04,338 --> 00:57:07,133 [Robert] It all started 'cause she needed money. 1197 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:09,469 She thinks this is her story. 1198 00:57:11,012 --> 00:57:12,013 She's wrong. 1199 00:57:13,222 --> 00:57:14,348 From now on... 1200 00:57:15,057 --> 00:57:16,267 it's about us. 1201 00:57:21,230 --> 00:57:24,358 ["Ruby Is Red Hot" playing] ♪ Ruby is red-hot ♪ 1202 00:57:25,234 --> 00:57:28,237 ♪ Hot fire, nonstop ♪ 1203 00:57:28,321 --> 00:57:31,157 ♪ Who got what I got? ♪ 1204 00:57:31,824 --> 00:57:35,161 ♪ Nobody, nobody ♪ 1205 00:57:35,244 --> 00:57:37,914 ♪ Ruby is red-hot ♪ 1206 00:57:38,581 --> 00:57:41,375 ♪ Hot fire, nonstop ♪ 1207 00:57:42,043 --> 00:57:44,629 ♪ Who got what I got? ♪ 1208 00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:02,063 ♪ Ruby is red-hot ♪ 1209 00:58:02,647 --> 00:58:05,691 ♪ Hot fire, nonstop ♪ 1210 00:58:05,775 --> 00:58:08,778 ♪ Who got what I got? ♪ 1211 00:58:09,570 --> 00:58:12,615 ♪ Nobody, nobody ♪ 1212 00:58:13,032 --> 00:58:15,368 ♪ Ruby is red-hot ♪ 1213 00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:19,121 ♪ Hot fire, nonstop ♪ 1214 00:58:19,705 --> 00:58:22,333 ♪ Who got what I got? ♪ 1215 00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:27,088 ♪ Nobody, nobody ♪ 1216 00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:29,215 [twinkling chimes]