1 00:00:01,166 --> 00:00:04,126 [bright tone] 2 00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:08,627 ♪ hip-hop music ♪ 3 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,579 ♪♪♪ 4 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,827 ♪ Do yourself a favor, be your own boss ♪ 5 00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:15,667 ♪ Make your own moves or it be your own loss ♪ 6 00:00:16,458 --> 00:00:17,918 [Romesh] This is the week that I ramp things up. 7 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,920 I've hired a publicist. 8 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:23,580 She suggested lots of different bits and pieces I could do. 9 00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,207 All of those things cost money. 10 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:26,421 [Ben] So money is becoming an issue? 11 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:30,960 [Romesh] Well, I am paying for everybody to be here. 12 00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,751 If they don't reduce their expenditure, 13 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,134 I'm actually gonna have to sell one of them. 14 00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:39,581 I think it'll be Charlie. He's the cutest. 15 00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:41,747 Can fetch a good price. Market price. 16 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,210 As long as they don't tell me what they're doing to him, 17 00:00:44,291 --> 00:00:45,211 I don't give a shit. 18 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:46,171 Out of sight, out of mind, 19 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:47,170 do you know what I mean? 20 00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:50,133 - I spoke to a publicist. - Yeah. 21 00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,538 And she said I need to think about doing, 22 00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,285 like, a YouTube cam-- 23 00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:55,575 like an advert campaign. I-- 24 00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:56,957 How much you talking? 25 00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:59,881 To get us really moving, publicity-wise, 26 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,829 you're looking at about $50,000. 27 00:01:01,917 --> 00:01:03,667 [Ben] Are you putting any of your own money into that? 28 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,330 I've already spent too much money, 29 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,287 so I can't now spend another $50,000 on this, no. 30 00:01:08,375 --> 00:01:10,325 So I have to find a way of raising the money. 31 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:11,997 You heard of Craiglist, right? 32 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:14,083 - Yes. - Know what you got to do? 33 00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:14,876 You got to put a ad in there, mate. 34 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,919 And start working for that money. 35 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,130 I mean, what sort of jobs do you think 36 00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:20,458 - we're gonna be getting... - Uh... 37 00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:21,462 From Craigslist? 38 00:01:21,542 --> 00:01:22,792 For $50,000? 39 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,575 Yeah, you might get an-- 40 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:26,077 you know, someone might call us and say, you know, 41 00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:27,376 come and stay with us for the night, 42 00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:28,748 and we might pay a grand or two, 43 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:29,834 you know, who knows? 44 00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:31,287 I mean, isn't that... 45 00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,375 quite a weird scenario? 46 00:01:32,458 --> 00:01:33,378 Would you agree to that? 47 00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:35,128 What's wrong with that? 48 00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:35,708 It might--they might be just wanting a small massage 49 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:37,632 or something. 50 00:01:37,709 --> 00:01:39,379 For $2,000? 51 00:01:39,458 --> 00:01:40,958 Yeah, people pay that, mate. 52 00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,541 I've been in situations that I've got paid 53 00:01:42,625 --> 00:01:43,495 fuckin' more than that. 54 00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:45,213 - For a massage? - For no, I don't know. 55 00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:47,831 - I'm gonna ask you a question. - We could get more. 56 00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:49,077 - I'm gonna ask you a question. - What? 57 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:50,916 Have you, or have you not, 58 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,540 sucked a dick for $2,000? 59 00:01:53,625 --> 00:01:54,665 [both laughing] 60 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:58,460 You bastard. 61 00:01:58,542 --> 00:02:01,672 [chortling] 62 00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,670 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 63 00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:09,580 ♪♪♪ 64 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:12,379 [Romesh] So obviously the Craigslist thing 65 00:02:12,458 --> 00:02:14,628 was a non-starter, but, uh, 66 00:02:14,709 --> 00:02:15,669 I've taken the initiative and gotten myself 67 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,420 a corporate gig. 68 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:19,540 And that's how I survived for a long-- 69 00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:22,165 for a long stretch as a standup in the UK. 70 00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:22,790 [indistinct chatter] 71 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:24,035 They're terrible gigs, 72 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,665 but the money's incredible. 73 00:02:26,750 --> 00:02:28,380 So I figure, I need to raise money, 74 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:29,998 this is the quickest way to do it. 75 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,753 [Ben] What are you-- doing some material? 76 00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:34,004 [Romesh] Uh, well, that's the bonus of this gig. 77 00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,043 It doesn't require me to do any material, really. 78 00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:39,285 [Ben] So, what, crowd work, or... 79 00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:43,544 [Romesh] I'm pretending to be Zoltar 80 00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:45,455 from the Tom Hanks film "Big." 81 00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,917 [Leah] Hi, guys, I just wanted 82 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,960 to welcome everybody here. 83 00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:53,081 I am Leah with Aklin Entertainment, 84 00:02:53,166 --> 00:02:55,496 and we are so happy that you're here. 85 00:02:55,583 --> 00:02:57,753 We want you to just mingle and have a really good time. 86 00:02:57,834 --> 00:03:01,174 We've got a lot of our tried-and-true clients here. 87 00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:03,750 Food, drinks, entertainment, please just enjoy yourselves. 88 00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:07,964 [applause] 89 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:09,916 - Hello. - Hi. 90 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:10,920 I am Zoltar. 91 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,630 You are having doubts 92 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:13,079 about something in your life currently, aren't you? 93 00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:14,916 Zoltar can tell. 94 00:03:15,917 --> 00:03:16,327 No. 95 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:20,495 Zoltar thinks you just suffered a break-up. 96 00:03:20,583 --> 00:03:21,543 No. 97 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:23,245 [Ben] I just don't know if you're qualified 98 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,253 to give advice. 99 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:26,043 Who's qualified as Zoltar? 100 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,455 But, like, you're not, like. a proper medium. 101 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,502 There's no SATs in Zoltar. 102 00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:30,963 There's no college degree in Zoltar. 103 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:33,251 I'm fucking Zoltar. 104 00:03:33,333 --> 00:03:35,003 If you're brown and you put a turban on, 105 00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:37,293 you've passed the test; you're Zoltar. 106 00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,915 Zoltar feels there's a special somebody... 107 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,670 with a D in their name? 108 00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:46,128 Is that correct? S? 109 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:48,540 N? 110 00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:52,831 R? 111 00:03:52,917 --> 00:03:54,707 - Yes! - Yes. 112 00:03:54,792 --> 00:03:55,962 Zoltar, I'ma be honest. 113 00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:57,461 Two weeks ago, 114 00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,882 I got hit on by a Victoria's Secret model. 115 00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:00,789 - Yeah. - Zoltar is impressed. 116 00:04:00,875 --> 00:04:02,125 Very impressed. 117 00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,878 Zoltar thinks that you should, uh, 118 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:05,629 try and smash with the Victoria's Secret model. 119 00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:07,499 Oh, totally. 120 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:09,632 [Ben] Well, I've never heard any other medium say, 121 00:04:09,709 --> 00:04:11,879 "You should go out and smash someone." 122 00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:14,919 How is it bad advice to tell someone to have sex? 123 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,287 Zoltar thinks that Skyping isn't the same 124 00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:19,955 as being with somebody, 125 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:21,831 That's true. 126 00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:22,667 And Skype can only take you so far. 127 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:25,790 A lady has needs. Is Zoltar correct? 128 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,920 - You're not smashing anybody. - No, I'm not. 129 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,630 And you'd like to be smashing more. 130 00:04:32,709 --> 00:04:34,169 I would like to get back to being comfortable, yeah. 131 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,000 Yeah. Fucking go for it, man. Yeah? 132 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:38,293 - That makes sense. - Yeah. 133 00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:39,995 - Cool. - Thank you. 134 00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,333 You're a good guy. All right. I'll see you later. I'm going. 135 00:04:41,417 --> 00:04:43,167 Excuse me, I just got a complaint 136 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,380 that some of your instructions or advice 137 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:47,708 is provocative. 138 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,172 Like what, really? 139 00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:50,630 And a little bit more sexually inclined 140 00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:51,629 than I'd like at a corporate event, 141 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,129 so can you just keep it more professional? 142 00:04:54,208 --> 00:04:54,958 - Okay, sorry. - Thank you. 143 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:55,461 Sorry about that. 144 00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:01,875 [Romesh] I did start to sort of chill out a bit. 145 00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:05,169 [Ben] I mean, chill out's an understatement, isn't it? 146 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,380 It's just, I was in there for such a long time. 147 00:05:06,458 --> 00:05:08,248 How many times can you tell people, 148 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:10,713 "Go and get some more action"? 149 00:05:10,792 --> 00:05:13,832 It's probably gonna be all right. It's boring. 150 00:05:13,917 --> 00:05:14,787 Are you eating right now? 151 00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:16,535 Somebody left this here. I don't know what-- 152 00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:18,575 It's not break time. It's really unprofessional. 153 00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:21,457 Okay, I was just picking at it. Somebody left this-- 154 00:05:21,542 --> 00:05:23,752 Okay, when there's a break, we'll give you food, water, 155 00:05:23,834 --> 00:05:25,424 everything you need, but not now. 156 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:27,883 [fork clatters] 157 00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:31,829 ♪ light music ♪ 158 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:37,077 ♪♪♪ 159 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,130 [Ben] What's going on? 160 00:05:44,333 --> 00:05:45,043 Fuckin' done with it, man. 161 00:05:45,125 --> 00:05:47,415 It's shit, isn't it? 162 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:50,250 It's the shittest thing anybody has ever done. 163 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,673 [Ben] Yeah, but if you leave, do you think 164 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,670 they'll still pay you? 165 00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:54,250 Yes. I'll invoice. 166 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:56,543 I'm done, though. 167 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:57,825 - Yeah? - Yeah. 168 00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:01,631 Zoltar predicts... 169 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,169 he's gonna make a massive saving 170 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:04,880 on his Halloween costume this year. 171 00:06:04,959 --> 00:06:07,919 ♪ eerie music ♪ 172 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:13,130 ♪♪♪ 173 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,578 [man laughs evilly] 174 00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:19,457 ♪♪♪ 175 00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:22,752 Theo, you take Charlie and Alex up there, 176 00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:24,254 and we'll wait for you here, all right? 177 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,673 [Theo] Charlie, Alex, come with me. 178 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,290 [Romesh] Hey, guys, just quickly 179 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,955 while the kids are busy, 180 00:06:29,041 --> 00:06:30,131 can I ask you something? 181 00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:31,628 How much did these costumes cost? 182 00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:34,829 50 bucks. Each. I think. 183 00:06:34,917 --> 00:06:36,127 Each for you, and all of-- and each of the kids as well? 184 00:06:36,208 --> 00:06:37,248 Each. 185 00:06:37,333 --> 00:06:38,833 So that's about 200, $300? 186 00:06:38,917 --> 00:06:39,997 [Rags] Why are you worried about that now? 187 00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:42,383 - Why are you worried? - We're just having fun, mate. 188 00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:43,498 I bought loads of candy as well, for the kids. 189 00:06:43,583 --> 00:06:44,083 Yeah, no, the kids, yeah. 190 00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:46,076 How much did you buy? 191 00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:47,036 Guys, wait a sec-- no, listen. 192 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:48,535 You spend a load of money. 193 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,455 - "I want to get..." - What's wrong with that? 194 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,002 "...this food, that food." 195 00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,833 Then we get takeaway. "Let me just try this one." 196 00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:54,537 And then you try it. "Don't like it." 197 00:06:54,625 --> 00:06:56,625 Then it's just sitting there. 198 00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:58,459 You get carried away with American grocery stores. 199 00:06:58,542 --> 00:07:01,332 Why are you talking about money now? 200 00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:02,957 I'm just saying, let's just chill out a bit, 201 00:07:03,041 --> 00:07:03,751 do you know what I mean? 202 00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:04,634 We can fix it. 203 00:07:04,709 --> 00:07:05,579 What's your problem? 204 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,287 Just being unfair. 205 00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:08,535 You've picked the wrong time to talk about this. 206 00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:09,665 Look, the kids are coming back now. 207 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:10,920 [Rags] They're having fun. 208 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:11,500 Hello, boys, what'd you get? 209 00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:13,003 [overlapping chatter] 210 00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:16,083 How great is that? 211 00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:18,416 We carry on having fun, but remember, 212 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,710 we just need to think about 213 00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:21,672 spending a little less money, all right, generally, okay? 214 00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:23,790 What's that got to do with trick-or-treating? 215 00:07:23,875 --> 00:07:25,995 He means get enough sweets so that we don't have to buy 216 00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,463 any more food. 217 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:30,002 No, that's not-- okay, let's just go, 218 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,713 'cause you're just-- people are being ridiculous. 219 00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:34,712 [Rags] Don't be a Scrooge. Let the kids have fun, mate. 220 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,037 [Romesh] Mum, do you want to help me choose a director 221 00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:41,995 for these YouTube ads? 222 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:43,383 [Shanthi] Okay. 223 00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:44,628 They're gonna come up with a lot of ideas. 224 00:07:44,709 --> 00:07:45,919 And then you listen 225 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,290 to the ideas, and you decide whether 226 00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:49,035 you think that's gonna be a good ad. 227 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,165 Okay. I'll do my best. 228 00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:52,960 Okay. Just don't fuck it up. 229 00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:54,041 I won't fuck it up, no. 230 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,535 [Romesh] Should we just get straight into it? 231 00:07:55,625 --> 00:07:58,075 - [man] Yeah, let's do it. - Cool. 232 00:07:58,166 --> 00:08:00,126 This is my pitch right here, this storyboard. 233 00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,078 It essentially revolves around you 234 00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,326 in Los Angeles. 235 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:05,037 But why do you say that, Los Angeles-- 236 00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,705 'Cause that's where the show is, Los Angeles. 237 00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:07,462 - Oh, okay, okay. - Yeah, yeah. 238 00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:10,252 Okay, so, you know, we don't... 239 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:13,213 ...here, like, know who you are. 240 00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:14,541 Yes. 241 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,285 I think it could provide a good opportunity 242 00:08:16,375 --> 00:08:18,125 to just play with people and keep asking the question of, 243 00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:19,788 "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" 244 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,415 It's like people-- 245 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,750 That just sounds a bit pathetic, doesn't it? 246 00:08:22,834 --> 00:08:24,464 - What? - He's asking for attention. 247 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,745 - That's the angle on it. - Yeah. 248 00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:29,834 Oh, I don't like the idea. 249 00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:33,384 [Gary] And then this is you interviewing people 250 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,828 on the streets. 251 00:08:34,917 --> 00:08:36,997 "Are you excited to see Romesh Ranganathan?" 252 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,173 And they're all gonna go, "Who's that?" 253 00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:41,040 I like that, Romesh. Yeah. 254 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,075 [Romesh] How much do you like it, a lot? 255 00:08:42,166 --> 00:08:43,876 I like it a lot. 256 00:08:43,959 --> 00:08:45,999 Yeah, when Natalie pitched almost an identical idea... 257 00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,083 Yeah. 258 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:47,576 ...you described it as... 259 00:08:47,667 --> 00:08:48,457 both: "Pathetic." 260 00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:53,252 So why is it that when Gary pitched it, 261 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,923 you thought it was the most amazing thing you'd ever heard, 262 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,290 and when Natalie pitched it, you thought it was pathetic? 263 00:08:58,375 --> 00:08:59,705 Is it because... 264 00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:01,042 The way Natalie-- Natalie explained... 265 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,705 Was exactly the same as how Gary ex-- 266 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,462 No, no, no. 267 00:09:03,542 --> 00:09:05,542 Were you flirting with Gary? 268 00:09:06,917 --> 00:09:08,497 Don't make me say things, Romy! 269 00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:09,963 I'm not making you say anything. 270 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:11,081 It's just w-- do you not think it's--- 271 00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,166 What do you take me for? 272 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,500 Why would I flirt with him? 273 00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:15,875 I don't know, I've got no other explanation 274 00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:18,459 as to why she reacted so positively to an idea 275 00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:20,712 that less than an hour earlier 276 00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:23,332 she'd been presented and described as pathetic. 277 00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:24,787 What changed? 278 00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:25,285 I'll tell you what changed. 279 00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:26,825 Cock and balls. 280 00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:28,877 [Romesh] Do you know how much this would cost? 281 00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:29,669 Yeah. 282 00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:32,500 - How much you got? - [laughs] 283 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:36,753 I did feel sort of particularly drawn towards Natalie. 284 00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:38,964 I was impressed by her energy, I was impressed by her ideas, 285 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:40,791 and I was impressed by the fact that she's 286 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:41,915 probably gonna be cheaper than the other options. 287 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,630 Lovely to meet you. Cheers, take care. Thank you. 288 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,789 I do think it's slightly more difficult 289 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:46,745 than it has to be. 290 00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:48,424 [Ben] What do you mean? 291 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,500 Well, you know, I'm looking for a director. 292 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,543 [Ben] Are you asking me for help? 293 00:09:54,709 --> 00:09:56,879 Would you--if I asked for help, would you give me help? 294 00:09:56,959 --> 00:09:58,419 [Ben] I mean, I'd have to contact my agent-- 295 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,420 Oh, my God. Okay, forget it. 296 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,960 No, I'll just do it myself. 297 00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:04,915 I've just got a text from Rags. 298 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,250 What does he say? 299 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,383 He says he's having some problem 300 00:10:07,458 --> 00:10:08,498 and he needs me to go meet him. 301 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:10,043 What problem? 302 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:11,575 You know, he's doing this Craigslist thing. 303 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,167 Is he going to pay tax? 304 00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:14,830 I don't know, why are you-- what are you, the IRS? 305 00:10:14,917 --> 00:10:16,577 You will be in trouble then. 306 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:18,207 - Why will I be in trouble? - You invited him. 307 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:21,041 If he start working, don't pay tax, what will happen? 308 00:10:21,125 --> 00:10:22,825 Okay, Mum, I haven't got time for this. 309 00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:24,667 ♪ Do the thing, count the dough ♪ 310 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,790 ♪ Do the thing, count the dough ♪ 311 00:10:27,875 --> 00:10:29,285 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 312 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,495 ♪ Count the dough ♪ 313 00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:31,713 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 314 00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:34,042 ♪ Count the dough, stack it up ♪ 315 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,825 ♪ Uh, count the dough ♪ 316 00:10:35,917 --> 00:10:37,247 ♪ Stack it up, uh, count the dough ♪ 317 00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:38,213 ♪ Stack it up ♪ 318 00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,461 [chickens clucking] 319 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:41,922 Rags. 320 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,290 Hey, Rom. Oh, man. 321 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,665 - Shit. - What's going on? 322 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,080 The fuck is this? 323 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:48,076 One of the chickens got away, man. 324 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:49,206 What chickens? 325 00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:49,921 There were three chickens 326 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,830 when I came to do this work. 327 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,917 Rags, Rags, Rags. What are you talking about? 328 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,210 Rom, I came to this job, right? 329 00:10:56,291 --> 00:10:58,751 Just clean up, you know, the-- the chicken poo and all that, 330 00:10:58,834 --> 00:10:59,714 see there? 331 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,382 I've been collecting that. 332 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:03,288 And he told me I have to keep an eye on them. 333 00:11:03,959 --> 00:11:07,329 I don't know what happened, but I--pfft--it's missing, man. 334 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,287 Rags, why are you doing this job? 335 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:11,075 Well, we need the money. 336 00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,246 How much are you getting paid for this? 337 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,213 $200. That's good money. 338 00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:15,041 - It's not worth it. - This is good work. 339 00:11:15,125 --> 00:11:16,075 - I don't like you doing it. - Rom! 340 00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:16,916 Why? Why? 341 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,710 Stand there, hold your balls, mate. 342 00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:20,082 Be a fucking man, right? 343 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,576 Let's go and find that chicken. 344 00:11:21,959 --> 00:11:22,789 [sighs] 345 00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:25,125 Hello, excuse me. Sorry to bother you. 346 00:11:25,208 --> 00:11:26,748 Afternoon. We're just looking for a chicken. 347 00:11:26,834 --> 00:11:28,424 Have you seen a white chicken? 348 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:29,580 [woman] A chicken? 349 00:11:29,667 --> 00:11:31,327 You haven't seen a chicken 350 00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:32,667 around here, have you, by any chance? 351 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,420 Have you seen a chicken, guys? 352 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,829 [Ben] You seemed even grumpier than usual with him. 353 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,577 Part of that came from frustration at myself, 354 00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:46,537 because my complaints have led to him doing this. 355 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:47,575 Right? So I felt bad about that. 356 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:50,577 But I don't understand his-- 357 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,787 there's no logic to what he was doing. 358 00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:53,455 [Rags] You know how to call out for chicken? 359 00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:56,132 - No. - You go... 360 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,038 - I don't think... - ...buk, buk, buk, buk. 361 00:11:58,125 --> 00:11:59,535 Oh, chicken, chicken. 362 00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:01,535 Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken. 363 00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,125 Buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk, buk. 364 00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,791 - Any luck? - No. 365 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,285 Okay, look at these two houses. 366 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:09,705 Right. 367 00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:10,462 Which house would a chicken choose? 368 00:12:10,542 --> 00:12:12,542 [scoffs] Oh, my God. 369 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,875 - [intercom beeps] - Hello? 370 00:12:14,959 --> 00:12:17,379 Hello, we are not available now. 371 00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,328 Please leave your name and phone number 372 00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:20,787 after the beep. 373 00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:22,125 - [beep] - Uh, hi. 374 00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:22,958 Um, I'm Rags. 375 00:12:23,041 --> 00:12:25,711 We are looking for a-- a lost chicken. 376 00:12:25,792 --> 00:12:28,172 Rags, you're just aggravating a dog now. 377 00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:28,960 It's white in color, 378 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:31,581 and, uh, if you happen to find it, 379 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,957 could you give us a call back, please? 380 00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:35,171 Rags, what the fuck are you doing? 381 00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:37,420 If you find it, uh, there may be some, uh, 382 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:38,750 reward for you then. 383 00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,584 Please give us a call. Thank you, bye. 384 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:44,207 Rags, if the chicken has jumped over this bit of wire 385 00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:46,041 and has managed to make it past the dog, 386 00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,665 I say good luck to it. 387 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:48,670 Come on. 388 00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:50,040 Is it there? 389 00:12:51,875 --> 00:12:53,035 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 390 00:12:55,583 --> 00:12:57,673 [whispering] Come here. 391 00:12:58,291 --> 00:13:01,501 Let's go home. 392 00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:05,169 - You prick, honestly. - Rags, I'm going home. 393 00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,630 What a terrible thing to do. 394 00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,670 There it is, there it is, there it is, there it is. 395 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:10,630 - There it is. - Wow! 396 00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:14,709 [Rags] See? Hard work pays off, mate. 397 00:13:14,792 --> 00:13:16,922 [Ben] So, not a successful day? 398 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,250 [Romesh] I feel a bit bad about it, if I'm being honest. 399 00:13:19,333 --> 00:13:21,833 He's come all the way over here 400 00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:23,377 to help me out, 401 00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:24,168 and then because I've been a prick 402 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,040 and been moaning about money, 403 00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:27,455 he's cleaning up chicken shit. 404 00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:30,831 What's the career progression from this? 405 00:13:30,917 --> 00:13:32,287 Who knows? Like... 406 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:33,205 ...I want to start somewhere, 407 00:13:33,291 --> 00:13:35,751 and then try and build up, you know? 408 00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:40,504 Like, 400, 800, 1,600, 3,000-- 409 00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:43,043 Okay, I know how numbers work, Rags. 410 00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:45,035 ♪ I don't want to get a job, fuck it ♪ 411 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,955 ♪ I just want to sit around, smoke weed ♪ 412 00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:47,711 ♪ Flick through dope beats ♪ 413 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,712 ♪ Rip cold scratch tunes ♪ 414 00:13:49,792 --> 00:13:51,172 ♪ Freestyle so deep ♪ 415 00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,380 ♪♪♪ 416 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:54,248 Why don't you tell them what your job was today? 417 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,713 You did a job? 418 00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:58,292 Yeah, I did a job for Craiglist. 419 00:13:58,375 --> 00:14:00,285 It was a hard job, but I made some money 420 00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,575 towards the $50,000 we were talking about. 421 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:05,747 So there's some money in the bank, so it'll grow. 422 00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:06,924 And in no time, we'll catch up on the $50,000, 423 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,210 so that's what it's all about, so-- 424 00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:11,001 Rags was paid $200 to clean out chicken shit. 425 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:13,247 You clean chicken shit? 426 00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,713 Yeah. 427 00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:17,422 Why? 428 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,330 - Well, $200 pay. - $200. 429 00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:20,457 And for enjoyment. 430 00:14:20,542 --> 00:14:21,832 And he lost one of the chickens. 431 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:23,327 - What? - One of the chickens ran away. 432 00:14:23,417 --> 00:14:25,827 [Rags] One of the chickens ran away. 433 00:14:25,917 --> 00:14:28,787 I've got to be honest, when I walked up and I saw Rags 434 00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:30,075 sweeping out the chicken coop... 435 00:14:30,166 --> 00:14:31,246 Yeah. 436 00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:32,463 ...I did feel a little bit bad. 437 00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:33,672 [Shanthi] Yeah. 438 00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:35,130 And it did make me think that maybe 439 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,878 I've gone over the top with, uh... 440 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,249 - Thank you, man. - Complaining about money. 441 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,333 I can do a bit more shopping tomorrow? 442 00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:41,747 No, that's not-- that doesn't mean 443 00:14:41,834 --> 00:14:43,584 continue as you were before. 444 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,537 It just means I'm sorry I overstated the situation. 445 00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:48,875 And also, I'm gonna try and like, 446 00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:50,629 look at other ways of sort of generating a bit of money 447 00:14:50,709 --> 00:14:53,249 for the--for the ad. 448 00:14:53,333 --> 00:14:55,213 So I don't want you to sort of worry about it too much. 449 00:14:55,291 --> 00:14:58,541 - Ching-ching to that, Ro. - Ching-ching. 450 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,075 - [Romesh] Ching-ching. - [Rags] Well done. 451 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:05,627 ♪ laid-back rock music ♪ 452 00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:10,879 ♪♪♪ 453 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,000 - [Ben] How you feeling today? - [Romesh] I'm feeling good. 454 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:19,083 It's a big day today. Uh, shooting our YouTube ad. 455 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,206 [Ben] So how can you afford to shoot the commercial? 456 00:15:20,291 --> 00:15:22,791 [Romesh] Shooting the commercial is not where 457 00:15:22,875 --> 00:15:24,495 the cost is; I've got Natalie for free. 458 00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,333 The location's free. 459 00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:28,827 The cost is in actually putting the advert out. 460 00:15:28,917 --> 00:15:30,997 All right, can we just do a run-through, please. 461 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,673 So, the idea is, one continuous shot. 462 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,290 I'll talk you through it. 463 00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:35,875 Black-and-white, see a shot of the fountains 464 00:15:35,959 --> 00:15:37,919 at Universal CityWalk. 465 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,380 Shanthi? 466 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:42,458 My son has always been a funny boy. 467 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,832 And he makes me laugh all the time, 468 00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:46,827 and I think he can make you laugh, too. 469 00:15:46,917 --> 00:15:49,827 - He's a star. - Then Rags. 470 00:15:49,917 --> 00:15:51,417 I wouldn't say it like this. 471 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,250 That's kind of written for someone to memorize it 472 00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:55,583 and read it back. 473 00:15:55,667 --> 00:15:56,417 That's how lines--that's how-- 474 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,210 that's how a script works, Rags. 475 00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,921 That's like for... 476 00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,041 What you're questioning is the process of scripts. 477 00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:02,705 That's, like, for an actor, man. 478 00:16:02,792 --> 00:16:04,382 It's not for--like, a family person 479 00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:05,918 would come out with this-- what he actually feels like. 480 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,920 Okay, what do you want to say, Rags? 481 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,670 Uh, my nephew is the greatest comedian in the whole universe. 482 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,250 You wait till he makes his scene here, 483 00:16:14,333 --> 00:16:19,673 and he's gonna knock you guys off your feet immediately. 484 00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:22,290 Come to the show on 23rd of December, 485 00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:25,495 and I know that's he's gonna make it big here, too, 486 00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:26,883 so you guys watch out for this. 487 00:16:26,959 --> 00:16:28,919 Come to our show and-- 488 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,250 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 489 00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:31,213 The whole thing is 30 seconds. 490 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,881 [Natalie] Hi, guys. 491 00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,379 - Hey, Natalie! - Good to see you guys. 492 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:35,248 - [Rags] Hey! - Good to see you guys. 493 00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,383 - I brought props. - [Leesa] Oh, wow. 494 00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:39,038 [Ben] Hold on, who's directing this, you or Natalie? 495 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:42,075 I--I see it as a co-directing role, 496 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:43,996 do you know what I mean? 497 00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,833 [Ben] And--and what's your directing experience? 498 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,417 [Romesh] Directing to me just seems to be sort of 499 00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,500 standing around fucking barking orders at people 500 00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:50,543 that are more talented than you. 501 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,075 I can do that. I can pretend to be competent. 502 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,996 I've seen people do it for long enough. 503 00:16:55,959 --> 00:16:57,709 [Ben] You talking about me? 504 00:16:57,792 --> 00:16:58,922 Give me one. 505 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,210 Please, can we go to Universal? 506 00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,461 Yes, but let's just get this done, shall we? 507 00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:05,252 He makes me laugh all the time. 508 00:17:05,333 --> 00:17:08,083 Hi, Rom's the greatest comedian in UK. 509 00:17:08,166 --> 00:17:10,826 He has actually turned UK upside down by his comedy. 510 00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:13,497 He fills up every venue in UK. 511 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:16,173 And he's gonna do the same thing here in U.S. 512 00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:18,000 And I guarantee it! 513 00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:21,424 My husband is deter-- I'm walking. 514 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,920 Yep, sorry. My husband is determined to make it big 515 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,921 in America, and I believe this'll happen. 516 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,460 - Right, kids? - Love you, Dad! 517 00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:29,132 [Rags] Yay! 518 00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,128 - Uh... - [Leesa] Yay! 519 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,328 Oh, hold on, we got to do this again. 520 00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:33,577 I don't know if this is working. 521 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:34,667 No, it's not working. 522 00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,040 [Romesh] Uh, let's--do you think we should try-- 523 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:37,535 [Natalie] Yeah, Rags, can we have a little more energy 524 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:38,785 when you do it? 525 00:17:38,875 --> 00:17:42,665 [Romesh] Rags. Rags! 526 00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,460 - We're st--we're doing-- - I thought it's done! 527 00:17:44,542 --> 00:17:46,502 When I say we're done, that's when we're done, yeah? 528 00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:48,043 [Natalie] So we're gonna do just a little run-- 529 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,035 [Shanthi] Alex, up, up, up. Alex-- 530 00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:52,495 Rom is the greatest comedian in the world! 531 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,673 He's gonna sell out U.S.! 532 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:54,460 All right, guys, we're gonna go. 533 00:17:54,542 --> 00:17:56,582 My son always been a funny boy. 534 00:17:56,667 --> 00:17:57,917 He makes me laugh all the time. 535 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,380 [Natalie] Rags, you ready? 536 00:18:00,458 --> 00:18:01,878 Oh, you're gonna do a shot with the cigarette? 537 00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,459 [Romesh] Rags, we haven't got time. Come on. 538 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:04,422 - [Natalie] Five, four... - Oh, hang on! 539 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,580 - No, no, no, no, no, please! - Three! 540 00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:07,457 [Ben] Pretty tricky, isn't it? 541 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:09,582 [Romesh] If what you're getting at 542 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:10,957 is that I'm not doing as good a job 543 00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,751 as you might have done with it, 544 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,294 my counterargument, my defense, would be 545 00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:17,205 that they're just--my family are un-directable. 546 00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:21,331 Romy, I'm so thirsty. Can I have some coffee, please? 547 00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:22,377 - Three more. - I thought it was done. 548 00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:23,998 Three more. Three more. 549 00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,583 [Ben] What do you make of Natalie? 550 00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,497 [Romesh] I thought Natalie was very good. 551 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:30,213 I actually thought she was too good for the situation, 552 00:18:30,291 --> 00:18:32,041 because if I was her, I'd have walked out on it. 553 00:18:32,125 --> 00:18:34,075 Is this a break we're having, or are we filming? 554 00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,456 No, this is not a break. Let's go, let's go. 555 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,002 Let's go, go, go, go! 556 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,503 Rom's the greatest comedian in the UK. 557 00:18:38,583 --> 00:18:43,043 He's gonna make it big here, too, in the USA. Right, kids? 558 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:46,330 - Whoo! - Are you serious! 559 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,327 [Leesa] We're running. Come on. 560 00:18:48,417 --> 00:18:49,957 [Ben] It was quite a simple idea. 561 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,501 One shot, family come in, 562 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:52,543 and do it, I just don't know why-- 563 00:18:52,625 --> 00:18:53,875 [Romesh] Because you can't direct those people. 564 00:18:53,959 --> 00:18:55,999 Right? It's impossible. 565 00:18:56,083 --> 00:18:57,383 They've all got their own demands. 566 00:18:57,458 --> 00:18:58,628 All ba-ra-ra-ra-ra in my ear. 567 00:18:58,709 --> 00:19:01,499 So I did the best that I could in those circumstances. 568 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:04,883 I got the best commercial you can get out of them. 569 00:19:04,959 --> 00:19:07,329 Oh, my God, I can't help you. Mommy, Dad-- 570 00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,877 [Romesh] You couldn't have done better than that. 571 00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:11,379 [Ben] Yeah, you can, you just-- 572 00:19:11,458 --> 00:19:12,378 I just think you were making it much more com-- 573 00:19:12,458 --> 00:19:14,208 A single shot with them, 574 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,751 those people, 575 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:17,084 you think that you can get better than that? 576 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:18,956 [Ben] Yeah. 577 00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:19,881 Well, I'm looking forward to seeing you doing some 578 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:20,419 for a change. 579 00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:24,671 It won't be better than mine. 580 00:19:24,750 --> 00:19:25,880 ♪ percussive music ♪ 581 00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:28,419 My son is funny. He's a star. 582 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,750 Rom's been the greatest comedian UK has ever seen. 583 00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:35,334 And he's gonna make it big here in America. 584 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:37,077 ♪♪♪ 585 00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:38,876 I love you, Dad! 586 00:19:38,959 --> 00:19:40,629 Hi, I'm Romesh Ranganathan. 587 00:19:40,709 --> 00:19:43,249 His father, her husband, his nephew, 588 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,383 and her son, and I'm gonna be performing a show 589 00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:46,708 on the 21st of December 590 00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:47,332 at the Greek Theatre. 591 00:19:47,417 --> 00:19:49,327 Please come. Right, guys? 592 00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:51,577 [family cheering] 593 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:52,627 Seriously, though, please come. 594 00:19:52,709 --> 00:19:55,079 I do owe that theater quite a lot of money. 595 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,080 ♪ light upbeat music ♪ 596 00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,496 [Romesh] All right, Rags, uh, so I've found 597 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:06,213 a kind of a way of making some decent money. 598 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:08,671 'Cause you can make a lot of money over here 599 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,250 just renting your property out 600 00:20:10,333 --> 00:20:10,793 for film shoots and stuff like that. 601 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,415 Mm-hmm. 602 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,540 So we've got somebody that's gonna come here today 603 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,285 and shoot the house, 604 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:17,455 and they're willing to pay quite a lot of money for it. 605 00:20:17,542 --> 00:20:18,422 - So... - That's a great idea. 606 00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,290 Yeah. 607 00:20:20,375 --> 00:20:22,035 [Romesh] Leesa and the kids are out for the day. 608 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,455 I've told them that we're doing a shoot today, 609 00:20:23,542 --> 00:20:26,832 so Leesa's sort of doing a fun day with the kids. 610 00:20:26,917 --> 00:20:29,417 She's actually very sort of supportive. 611 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,040 She said well done. 612 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:33,285 - It's like a short film. - A short film? Okay. 613 00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:35,325 - Well, and then-- - Like a documentary then. 614 00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:38,497 Well, they're documenting, but, uh... 615 00:20:38,583 --> 00:20:40,543 it's k--basically... 616 00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:42,495 well, it's a porno. 617 00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:45,878 Fucking hell. Are you serious? 618 00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:47,629 [Ben] Does, uh, does Leesa know 619 00:20:47,709 --> 00:20:49,629 it's, uh, a-a porn film? 620 00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,459 She knows that there is a shooting 621 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,252 taking place all day today, yeah. 622 00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,753 No, no, sorry, the question was, does she know 623 00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,714 that it's porn? 624 00:20:58,166 --> 00:20:59,536 Uh... 625 00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:02,535 [doorbell chimes] 626 00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:04,075 - Hello. - Oh, hi! 627 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:04,786 - Hi, Rom, how you doing? - How you doing? Romesh. 628 00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,665 Nice to meet you. 629 00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:08,210 [Romesh] I'm still trying to be humble about it 630 00:21:08,291 --> 00:21:09,881 and modest, but I actually think 631 00:21:09,959 --> 00:21:10,499 what I've done is pretty amazing. 632 00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:12,673 I've managed to secure 633 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:14,130 a way of financing this 634 00:21:14,208 --> 00:21:17,578 without having to really do very much. 635 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:20,997 I don't want to go on about it, but I think I've nailed it. 636 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:22,583 Oh, there'll be some nailing going on later on, 637 00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:24,457 mark my words. 638 00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:26,332 [woman] Okay, so just to give you a run-down 639 00:21:26,417 --> 00:21:27,787 of what we're doing, 640 00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:28,825 the guys should be here at any minute. 641 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:30,327 Um, so they come in, we'll do some paperwork, 642 00:21:30,417 --> 00:21:33,377 do some makeup, and then they'll have sex here, 643 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,538 and they'll probably be just kissing, 644 00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:36,205 sucking dick, eating ass, and then 645 00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:38,791 two or three sex positions. 646 00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:39,875 And then cum shots. 647 00:21:39,959 --> 00:21:41,879 But the cum shots, they shouldn't go anywhere 648 00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:42,829 on the couch, 'cause we want to have 'em... 649 00:21:42,917 --> 00:21:44,577 - They go on the person. - ...on the body. 650 00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:46,377 - The face.. - Yeah. 651 00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:48,038 - So, um... - Okay, cool. 652 00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:49,375 We'll be sure to clean everything up, though. 653 00:21:49,458 --> 00:21:53,038 - Um, all right, cool. - [doorbell rings] 654 00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:55,125 Yay! Hi, guys. How are ya? 655 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:57,208 [Ben] It feels like quite an extreme thing to do. 656 00:21:57,291 --> 00:21:58,211 [Romesh] It's an unusual thing to do, I grant you that; 657 00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:00,211 I don't think it's extreme to do. 658 00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:03,381 I'm using our premises 659 00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:04,958 to make some money. 660 00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:06,421 We'll just be out here, is that all right? 661 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,750 They film, they pay me, and then they leave. 662 00:22:09,834 --> 00:22:11,384 And we never make contact again. 663 00:22:11,458 --> 00:22:14,998 It's wham, bam, thank you, sir. 664 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:17,247 [whispering] Rom! Can I ask you a question? 665 00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:19,333 - Sure. - [whispering] Okay. 666 00:22:19,417 --> 00:22:20,997 [man] All right, now go down, 667 00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:23,003 tease the head of his dick... 668 00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:24,673 So, um, Brian and Colton are here, too. 669 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,920 Hello. 670 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,750 So they're totally ready to go. 671 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:31,384 But I was wondering if we could shoot another scene with them 672 00:22:31,458 --> 00:22:33,418 in another room, if you wouldn't mind? 673 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,040 Uh, I kinda just thought 674 00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:36,455 we were gonna stay in this room. 675 00:22:36,542 --> 00:22:38,292 Where were you thinking? 676 00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:38,915 Um, the front bedroom, 'cause it seems like it gets 677 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,380 a lot of light. 678 00:22:40,458 --> 00:22:43,958 - Uh... - Now spread it. Let me see. 679 00:22:44,041 --> 00:22:45,421 - Okay, keep rolling. - Let's have a quick look. 680 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:45,880 - In here. - Spread the cheeks. 681 00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:47,249 Let me see. 682 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:50,253 Maybe... ooh, my god, that's gorgeous. 683 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:52,083 Ooh. 684 00:22:52,166 --> 00:22:54,376 I love this lighting. Whose room is this? 685 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:56,668 [Romesh] Uh, this is my mum's room. 686 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,000 This is great. I bet you have really hot sex up here. 687 00:22:59,083 --> 00:23:01,173 Look at that headboard. It's amazing. 688 00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,790 I could throw in a little extra money. 689 00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:05,075 Yeah, I guess so, yeah, as long as you guys sort of... 690 00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:06,916 ...covered, and no trace of... 691 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,460 Leave no trace. 692 00:23:08,542 --> 00:23:11,132 Thank you. All right. Cool. Nice one. 693 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:13,881 Well... 694 00:23:14,709 --> 00:23:15,879 I've got two bits of news. 695 00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:18,379 One is... 696 00:23:18,458 --> 00:23:20,708 ...we're getting more money. 697 00:23:20,792 --> 00:23:21,502 And the other is... 698 00:23:21,583 --> 00:23:23,753 ...they're gonna use Mum's room. 699 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,170 So, it's, uh... 700 00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:28,540 ...slightly different to how I envisaged it. 701 00:23:28,625 --> 00:23:31,285 But they're gonna clean it up afterwards. 702 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:33,415 But cleaning it up is always not gonna work. 703 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:36,750 Like, you know how the little man things work. 704 00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:38,214 - Sperm, you're talking? - Yeah, the sperm. 705 00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,541 They crawl slowly, and they keep moving. 706 00:23:40,625 --> 00:23:43,375 It's not a fucking face-hugger from Alien, Rags. 707 00:23:43,458 --> 00:23:46,498 [Ben] Did you learn a little bit about porn shoots? 708 00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:48,963 Uh, you know, I haven't spent 709 00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:50,001 much time around porn shoots, 710 00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:51,253 but what I will tell you is, they are very good 711 00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,673 at making themselves at home. 712 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:55,540 [moaning] 713 00:23:55,625 --> 00:23:58,495 ♪ light music ♪ 714 00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:00,043 - Oh, those are so nice. - Is that all right? 715 00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:01,495 - Yeah. - Is that too nice? 716 00:24:01,583 --> 00:24:02,543 Well, it's one of the... 717 00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:03,665 Show us the rest of the house. 718 00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,130 Let's see. 719 00:24:05,208 --> 00:24:07,168 Uh, this is my wife's and I's bedroom. 720 00:24:07,250 --> 00:24:11,290 Oh, my God, this is gorgeous. 721 00:24:11,375 --> 00:24:14,125 - Oh, wow! - What! 722 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:16,958 [woman] This is beautiful. 723 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,751 You... what do you think about up here? 724 00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:22,078 I hadn't really sort of envisaged you guys 725 00:24:22,166 --> 00:24:23,996 coming upstairs. 726 00:24:24,083 --> 00:24:24,833 We could double it. 727 00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:27,077 We'll double what we did downstairs. 728 00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,416 Like, if we could triple what you're gonna do, then... 729 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,130 - Triple? - ...I could think about it. 730 00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:32,878 We'll leave it cleaner than when we arrived. 731 00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:34,499 I mean, you could just cum right here. 732 00:24:34,583 --> 00:24:36,673 And then you go down and you kneel, 733 00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:37,880 and then he could cum in your mouth, 734 00:24:37,959 --> 00:24:39,329 and then nothing gets on the bed. 735 00:24:40,208 --> 00:24:41,038 Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. 736 00:24:41,125 --> 00:24:43,665 Beautiful. 737 00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:44,540 [Romesh] Once they'd been in the living room 738 00:24:44,625 --> 00:24:46,285 and they'd been in my mum's room, 739 00:24:46,375 --> 00:24:48,035 I just sort of thought, 740 00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:49,875 we're through the looking glass here, aren't we? 741 00:24:49,959 --> 00:24:51,829 Do you know what I mean? We are over the threshold. 742 00:24:51,917 --> 00:24:54,417 Who gives a shit now if they use the rest of the house? 743 00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:56,000 [moaning] 744 00:24:56,083 --> 00:25:01,253 [crunching] 745 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,333 Sorry, do you know exactly how long this is gonna take? 746 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:06,457 How long do you need for cum shots? 747 00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:10,172 - Like, two hours. Two hours? - Two extra hours, now? 748 00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:11,250 - Yeah. - Uh... 749 00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:14,253 We could give you more money. 750 00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:17,250 - [Leesa] Hello? - Hello, Leesa. It's Rom. 751 00:25:17,333 --> 00:25:18,003 Um, listen, can you get the kids dinner out, please? 752 00:25:18,083 --> 00:25:20,503 [Leesa] Yeah. 753 00:25:20,583 --> 00:25:21,753 Because they need another two hours here. 754 00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:22,714 [Leesa] Another two hours? 755 00:25:22,792 --> 00:25:24,922 [Romesh] No, I know, I know, I know. 756 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,750 But they just need to wrap up. 757 00:25:26,834 --> 00:25:27,674 They've got this thing that they're in the middle of, 758 00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:29,960 and they just need to finish up. 759 00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:31,081 [Leesa] All right. All right, bye. 760 00:25:31,166 --> 00:25:33,576 All right. Love you. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. 761 00:25:33,667 --> 00:25:35,627 Well, I'm gonna tell her that she's got two hours. 762 00:25:36,959 --> 00:25:40,039 [moaning] 763 00:25:40,125 --> 00:25:41,415 Hello? 764 00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:48,665 So hot. Hey. 765 00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:49,630 - Hi. - Hi. 766 00:25:49,709 --> 00:25:52,329 I can see you're already in, but, um... 767 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:54,457 We were just gonna do some light fucking really quick. 768 00:25:54,542 --> 00:25:55,832 Keep kissing! It's good! 769 00:25:55,917 --> 00:25:57,497 Anyway, it's fine for two hours. 770 00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,253 All right, we got two more hours? 771 00:25:58,333 --> 00:25:59,253 - Yeah. - This is good. 772 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:00,253 Thank you so much. 773 00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:02,293 Okay. Go, guys. 774 00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,535 [moaning] 775 00:26:11,875 --> 00:26:13,915 They were in Alex and Charlie's room. 776 00:26:22,250 --> 00:26:25,040 Dad, why do we have all these candles here? 777 00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:27,672 Uh, just 'cause I thought it would be nice. 778 00:26:27,750 --> 00:26:29,670 [Shanthi] Romy, why did you chase us out? 779 00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:31,710 Because we were doing a shoot here. 780 00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,832 We could've stayed upstairs. 781 00:26:33,917 --> 00:26:34,997 Yeah, but they were u-- 782 00:26:35,083 --> 00:26:36,003 using sort of the whole place. 783 00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,833 Yeah, they--it was like a romantic scene, 784 00:26:37,917 --> 00:26:39,787 like, a couple, like, sitting here 785 00:26:39,875 --> 00:26:40,575 and having a drink. 786 00:26:40,667 --> 00:26:42,877 - Anyway, forget that. - Yeah. 787 00:26:42,959 --> 00:26:44,329 I've got something to show you guys. 788 00:26:44,417 --> 00:26:45,327 - Yeah? - What is it? 789 00:26:45,417 --> 00:26:48,037 The ad is up online. 790 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:48,665 Ready? You ready? 791 00:26:48,750 --> 00:26:50,710 - Excuse me. - Yay! 792 00:26:50,792 --> 00:26:52,252 - We didn't raise a full 50K. - Let's have a look. 793 00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:53,383 But we had enough to put together a smaller 794 00:26:53,458 --> 00:26:55,038 YouTube campaign. 795 00:26:55,125 --> 00:26:56,035 - [Shanthi] Okay. - And... 796 00:26:56,125 --> 00:26:58,075 ...three, two, one, go. 797 00:26:58,625 --> 00:27:01,325 My son is funny. He's a star. 798 00:27:01,417 --> 00:27:04,667 [Alex] But you can just skip it in five seconds, can't you? 799 00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,380 Yeah, he's right. I'd do that. 800 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,876 People just can skip the ad 801 00:27:08,959 --> 00:27:10,999 without knowing the information. 802 00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:11,503 [Alex] And that's why you should have been 803 00:27:11,583 --> 00:27:12,883 at the beginning. 804 00:27:12,959 --> 00:27:15,539 [Leesa] Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. 805 00:27:15,625 --> 00:27:16,535 ♪ The way I break it down, you know ♪ 806 00:27:16,625 --> 00:27:18,875 ♪ We're so monumental ♪ 807 00:27:18,959 --> 00:27:20,209 ♪ I've got these other rappers looking so stupid it hurts ♪ 808 00:27:20,291 --> 00:27:22,921 ♪ Call it what you want to call it, chewing their words ♪ 809 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,960 ♪ Brewing at the sight of it and eating their hat ♪ 810 00:27:25,041 --> 00:27:26,791 ♪ I used to let it go, now I'm stealing it back ♪ 811 00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:28,035 ♪ The girl's funny little dickhead trying ♪ 812 00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:29,205 ♪ To sneak and attack ♪ 813 00:27:29,291 --> 00:27:30,791 ♪ And, yeah, you got to hand it to the way ♪ 814 00:27:30,875 --> 00:27:31,995 ♪ We're cutting it up ♪ 815 00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:34,633 ♪ Every single way possible we're fucking it up ♪ 816 00:27:34,709 --> 00:27:36,539 ♪ Swear to God they're so emotional ♪ 817 00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:38,165 ♪ Sucking it up, put the money in the bag bitch ♪ 818 00:27:38,250 --> 00:27:39,750 ♪ And button it up, I've got it ♪ 819 00:27:39,834 --> 00:27:41,754 ♪♪♪ 820 00:27:41,834 --> 00:27:44,754 [bright tone]